The Worst Idea Of All Time - 03: A Salute To Jimmy Carter

Episode Date: August 26, 2020

"Goodbye Emmanuelle" is a relationship drama featuring the Neal Breen of 1977 and both does and does not start with a bang. We get a scrotum in this one but sadly no shaft. We try to figure out just what kind of architect is Mr Mrs Emmanuelle is. We meet a very fun character who claims his wife was eaten by a shark and discuss Elvis Presley's lack of ability to tour abroad, plus #FreeBritney! People who paid to get off in the cinema for this probably feel short changed because what Guy wants is a travel show. In short, this movie sucked.JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTimeSUPPORT US ON PATREON: patreon.com/TWIOATVISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: littleempirepodcasts.comMUSIC CREDIT: Tender Moonlight (facebook.com/TenderMoonlight)ART CREDIT: Tomas Cottle (sick-days.com) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, Tim and Guy here, and welcome to the Worst Idea of All Time, Season 5. This season we are watching the French-originated softcore pornography series, Emmanuel. Because why not? These films contain some anachronistic and downright problematic scenes from time to time. Which we will not be discussing, to keep our podcast a stupid and friendly place to be. Also, you do not need to watch these films as always so just enjoy the show we're watching the movies so you don't have to happy listening everybody Yo, listen up. Here's the story about a little guy that lives in a blue world.

And all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue. Like him. Inside and outside. Blue his house with a blue little window and a blue Corvette. And everything is blue for him and himself and everybody around because he ain't got nobody to listen. Hello and welcome along. I didn't think I'd enjoy that, but I actually really did.

To the third installment in the Emmanuel series. the third installment in the Emmanuel series. We've just watched a 1977 French softcore erotica movie directed by François Letelier called Goodbye, Emmanuel. Emmanuel. Emmanuel. Emmanuel. Goodbye, Emmanuel.

Emmanuel. Emmanuel. Emmanuel. Goodbye. goodbye emmanuel emmanuel emmanuel goodbye search gainsburg yeah it's uh it they they very proudly claim that he scores the film it seems to me credits which are in french he's the third name on there he provided one song that they used also, somehow both liberally and sparingly. Yeah, that's true. Here's the sitch. The movie's an hour 40, and there's very sparse soundtracking, but whenever the soundtracking is on, it's just like a different part of one four-minute song that he made for the movie. This movie starts with a bang.

It's got... Lol. It's... Ah, yeah, nice. It does not start with a bang. It's got... Lol. It's... Ah, yeah, nice. It does not start with a bang. In fact, one thing I would say for this entry into the softcore library of Emmanuel films is this film is not really a porno at all.

It's not a porno. This is a relationship drama. Yeah, it is. This is literally the fallout of the first two movies it's a relationship drama where sometimes you see nipples yeah and uh you see jean you see uh emmanuel's husband jean you see his uh scrotum oh yeah barely barely no the eagle you know the eagle eye amongst, they saw that. Yeah. I didn't see any shaft, though. No, you'll never see shaft.

Pretty much. We left Emmanuel and Jean in Hong Kong previously, and I suppose things were okay. Things were looking up. We had discovered the pleasures of a woman. What was the subtitle? Something like that. Yeah, yeah.

Something of a woman. The Joys. Joys of a woman. So the first movie's all about Emmanuel's initial steps of sexual liberation. Liberation, yeah, yeah. Thank you so much. And then the second film is, I guess, about her discovering her bisexuality she's bisexual in the first one i think it's more like a celebration the first one charts the discovery the second one

is a celebration jean remains her husband through all three of these films but like the bond franchise sometimes they change the actor yes and i reckon the occupation. Because in this one, someone goes, your husband, John, is he a public servant? And I'm like, me, Tim. I'm like, yeah, he's a fucking diplomat for the French government. Because he is. And then Emmanuel says no. And I was like, what? And then she says, he's an architect.

And I was like, what, what? He is an architect. He's not an architect And then she says, he's an architect. And I was like, what, what? He is an architect. He's not an architect in the other movies. He's an architect of... He is an architect of diplomacy. He's an architect of threesomes. That's what he is. He is a guy who loves to fuck,

and more specifically, he doesn't abide the concept of jealousy. Sorry, my dog has joined the chat. He just knocks the microphone out of the way to make room for himself. Well, so long as Rufus is here, we might as well dip into a very early Boner Patrol. Rufus. Yo. It's cool that he knows his name, eh?

Yeah, yeah. Rufus, did you become aroused to any point in this film by any of the humans or sparingly shot animals? No, he's gone all shy. Typical. Nor did I. To be honest, this movie had a handful of sex scenes in it, and I could have used less. Really?

Yeah. Because at one point in the film you said there's not enough sex in this movie. No, no. I said there was these scenes where they were building up to what was obviously about to be a sex scene, and i'd say i would happily take the cut now yeah trust that these people have sex right and then do some other stuff well i just you just know it's an hour 40 and it's hey this movie sucks yeah it's it's in a beautiful location it was shit though it was boring and it was badly shot and terribly edited and And thank God Serge Gainsbourg was there,

so I could just spend a lot of time hoping that they'd bring the soundtrack back. Filmed in Seychelles. Seychelles? Off the east coast of Africa. It's beautiful. Now, why was the Seychelles in the news recently? I think maybe, is it a tax haven or something? It was in the news for some reason.

Neither Guy nor I knew where the Seychelles were, and it turns out it's sort of just above Madagascar. Do you say archipelago? Yep. When I nail it, which is not often. It's an archipelago of 115 islands in the Indian Ocean off East Africa. It's home to numerous beaches, coral reefs, and nature reserves, as well as rare animals such as the giant Aldabra tortoises.

And we saw them. We got treated to these beautiful, big, old tortoises. Only ever so briefly. They were so cool. We got told that they were 100 years old and that they would lay eggs and bury them in the sand. And I was like, cool, I learned something. I didn't know that turtles buried their eggs in the sand.

Didn't you? There's a book by Linley Dodd about a turtle who's trying to get to the sea and it starts, all the other ones have hatched and they've crawled out of the sand. And from that book, I knew, although I am now conflating turtles and tortoises, so who's to fucking say?

They're different. My personal highlight of the film pretty much here's the basic plot here it comes everybody look out guy's going to synopsize for you goodbye Emmanuel Emmanuel is seemingly enjoying the freedom afforded to the open relationship she has with Jean and their marriage

they're bouncing around having sex with different people talking about them sort of teeing up sexual encounters with other people. For themselves and each other. Everything seems to be good, although you do get this sort of feeling that some of this is ringing hollow or it's... It's not as cool. It's not as satisfying or cool as you might imagine.

And Emmanuelle eventually, she... Jeanne, who seems to get as much out of these sexual dalliances as Emmanuelle does, sort of keeps teeing up these beautiful European tourists for Emmanuelle to have sex with. And Emmanuelle goes and takes a Swedish man down to what's meant to be like a plot of land where he might want to build a house. But instead they just nip down to the rocks that are border the ocean and they start getting to and then there's this ship going by and there's this really handsome guy holding up a film camera and you see through the lens of the camera he's trained in on emmanuel and the swede who are about to go hammer and tongs and emmanuel stares at him and through the lens he stares back and you're like wow this is

eroticism this is there's some sort of voyeuristic, you know, something's afoot here. And anyway, she goes home. She tells Jean. She says, I banged the Swede. But I'll tell you who really got me going was this fucking guy with a camera. This fucking guy. And they're having sex. And Jean's like, keep thinking of the guy with the camera.

And Emmanuel's like, yeah. And then she goes, finds the guy with the camera. That was actually exactly how she sounds as well. It was freaky, man. They go, yeah. They bang. They have a terse conversation afterwards. Emmanuel, think of the man with the camera.

Yeah. That's right. She does my voice. And then they do that. They have a little falling out. And pretty much she can't get this guy out of her head the whole time. And this represents a shift in the relationship dynamic between Jean and Emmanuel. Previously, they'd have these relationships.

Both of them would be open-minded and cool with it. And they'd also, they sort of exist in this, not amoral, but just this emotionally free state where they don't seem to become invested. Or, like, they maintain a pretty healthy open relationship. It appears to me it did it appears to all of us but there's some sort of tension post-courtes between emmanuel and this director whose name was gregory where she can't get him out of her head and eventually she has to close the loop so she goes and revisits gregory and their tension it turns out was that there's a more deep-seated emotional bond, and they have to explore this.

And the outcome of this is that she's in love with Gregory and actually leaves Jean. So that's the synopsis. That's the long and short of it. Well done, buddy. That was good. Within this, though, and this is in reference to tortoises, and also this is my highlight, this is my shining light of the film, we meet a very old, immensely problematic, crazy British guy. I'm gutted you're taking this as my shining light of the film uh-huh we meet a very old immensely problematic

crazy british guy i'm gutted you're taking this as your shining light who lives on it i called it straight out of the gate i said i like this guy yeah uh they're they're on a small one of the 115 small islands of the archipelago of seychelles and he obviously lives there and he's like i say he does like he's got a very thick british accent inside of his french accent he's like bonjour and then he continues to say he goes fuck me your wife is beautiful you want to film a house come over to my place and he brings him over to his place imagine that in french but the exact same intonation and he's the worst actor i've seen in the franchise this whole time.

I love him. Anyway, they get to the house. He starts saying some pretty bad stuff. Let me tell you all about my late wife. Yeah. We lived in bliss and happiness for many years till one day on a fishing expedition where she nipped her finger as we were dismembering

a shark we caught. And then the blood drew other sharks. Pretty yet. Yeah, very unlikely. Eaten by a shark. There were some people dismembering a tortoise and the blood drew a shark and I watched her

get eaten by the whole thing. And you're like fuck and guy and tim are going wow wow we were what a story this anecdote has come out of nowhere and obviously it's devastating this guy's lost his wife but it's quite a sensational story fucking rules and it only gets better because then emmanuel and gregory go to fly off they go they know the pilot who's going to take them on this small charter plane back to wherever they came from. He's like, oh, we met this fucking legend, this old British guy. This poor widower.

Yeah, and the pilot's like, oh. The guy's like, Susan's not dead. She just shacked up with another dude, and he refuses to make his peace with it. So he tells everyone she got eaten by a shark in one bite. It was honestly the most enjoyable insert in the whole film it's very funny to overshoot so much when you get hurt to make up a sensational lie about what happened rather than actually deal with your problems yeah i think it's a fun way to deal with things a big sensational lie an unbelievable Eaten by a shark. Do you know how many people get eaten by a shark? IRL.

How many? Very few. It's not zero, but it isn't a lot. Do you think sharks tabulate the data on how many of those motherfuckers get killed by us every year? They should. They really should. If you watch the movie Deep Blue Sea from the perspective of a shark, ultimately it's upsetting. But for a minute there, you're like, fuck yes, finally.

Is Deep Blue Sea the one where they make the sharks super intelligent? Yeah. Is LL Cool J in it? Yes. He's got a parrot, but it's got one of the coolest movie deaths of all time in it, which is Samuel L. Jackson. Everyone keeps getting eaten by these sharks, and they start infighting. And Samuel L. Jackson delivers Like, everyone keeps getting eaten by these sharks and they start infighting and Samuel L. Jackson delivers this really rousing speech

where he's like, come on you motherfuckers, we've got to look out for each other. We are not going to let these sharks beat us. And right as he delivers that fire undefined thing, this massive shark comes up from behind him and just fucking chomps him in two. God damn, that's cool.

I think it's actually recognised as one of the great movie deaths. Really? I saw Deep Blue Sea at the Flix deflects i think on the big screen i think i was like too young to appreciate it for what it was which is a kind of big silly film you know what i mean yeah i was looking at and i was like well this is silly but the filmmakers were probably looking at it being like yeah you arsehole of course it is yeah super intelligent sharks killing people in some sort of like an submarine laboratory it was awesome i do you know what was wrong with goodbye emmanuel beyond what you've outlined which is uh cinematography

and editing i hadn't outlined those but we did talk about extensively during this film i think you said it you said it looks like shit and the editing's bad okay believe in yourself i'm sorry is um it's like it's it's it's set in reality it's grounded in reality the first two movies it's like these beautiful european layabouts these diplomats who go to these foreign embassies and just fuck one another to their heart's content and then in this one it's like hey what would happen if there was an emotional fallout from all of these open-minded people having sex with each other? And instead of concentrating on the sex they have with each other, we just follow the emotional journey of a husband and wife in peril.

And that's exactly what happens. I paid to go to the cinema for this? An hour and 40, yeah. This is very close to my actual life. How am I meant to jerk off to these micro tensions? It's an exploration of jealousy in particular in this movie, which is, I can tell you now, the wrong way to go with a softcore porno.

Yeah. It's not very arousing to be like, God damn it, there are consequences to actions. Yeah. That's the thing. This is supposed to be all about fantasy and escapism, which is why I can't wait for us to get out of Planet Earth with this franchise. I know.

So this was intended to be the first three Emmanuel films meant to be recognized as a trilogy. Really? Yeah, so this was the closing of a chapter. That makes sense. But they've still got Sylvia. What's her name again sylvia something sylvia cristal um she does seven of them i understand i i'm not 100 i wouldn't be surprised if she did not appear in the next emmanuel film if we moved on to a different emmanuel and then she i from i can't remember but i think she reappears but i think that this this chapter

of the emmanuel franchise is is done they really ended with a uh to whimper because the first two like you didn't give me your boner patrol by the way boner patrol to zero from tim we uh this film what was the most titillating scene probably the bit where they are copulating on a beach. Shouldn't say copulating. You can say copulating. It's kind of not what it is, though, is it? Copulating to me suggests, it's so scientific that it suggests there would be babies as a result. Maybe there is.

To copulate. I didn't find that scene super erotic. I found it very beautiful. This is when. To copulate. I didn't find that scene super erotic. I found it very beautiful and tender. Emmanuel is having sex on a beach with Gregory after she's chased him down. They don't say Gregory like that, by the way. Gregory. They say Gregory.

Emmanuel bursts in the door and says, Gregory, let's have sex on the beach. And he says, all right says all right governor no that's the old dude oh you're right copulate is copulation is very scientific in zoology copulation is animal sexual behavior in which a male introduces sperm to the female's body especially directly into a reproductive tract jesus yeah that's science baby this was sexist that's what we're watching population i don't think it was so scientific i thought there was more play in that word it's quite funny to um boil down this pornographic film to its constituent scientific parts but that because it was it was

low light you know now i'm going to say this this isn't very entertaining but this is part of why i thought it looked like absolute fucking dog shit this movie it had a um approach to filmmaking which is all right we've got to show them being in a car traveling somewhere we'll just make that very obvious and they do things like for the shutterbugs among the listenership they have uh like a quite closed off aperture it seems to me so everything in the foreground in the background is all in focus there's no separation of subject and background if you um in the first two films they do this a lot they've got like extreme close ups of faces like occupying the entire screen so you really can like capture someone's emotion and almost in a narrative in a way. Why don't you marry the cinematography

from the first two films, bro? Would that I could. They're probably dead. It was the 70s. This was a long time ago. Plus, I assume they smoked so many cigarettes working on these Emmanuel movies that there's no way they've survived to 2020.

I'm not saying the cinematographers. I'm saying the cinematography itself. Ahography itself well my barrier to that guy would be you cannot marry a concept oh fuck yet i've been humiliated um but when you have a wide open aperture which is when you get the iris of the lens i think well the lens maybe it's the bit on the camera as well and you open that right up so it lets all the light in um you can get a far more uh separated subject matter from the background you get that it's called bokeh is the blur that you get in the background you get that separation but this whole movie is just like yeah we'll stick a camera here we'll show them going there yeah we'll stick a camera in front of this person and show them going there.

There's no art. It's just like... You couldn't argue it doesn't tell you where you are. Big pun? You couldn't argue that this is a movie that doesn't tell you exactly where you are. Yeah, but I don't care to not, like, fucking sex it up for me. And what did you enjoy then by turn about the sex on the beach? Sex on the beach was in low light and it was like

i thought it was pretty well framed it was too low light yeah it was daytime it's a tuesday morning i was squinting to make out the screen and then also oh you mean it's tuesday morning for us watching who i could have been tuesday morning for them but also like there are a few things they're overcome with you know emotion and they're very they're i mean they're not just sexually attracted to each other for a rare instance in the emmanuel franchise there's a genuine emotional attraction and draw that goes beyond just lust but here's the thing who fucks in the ocean it's uh as our friend reese matthewson says in one of his great jokes, water is a famously excellent lubricant.

Salt water, no less. Indeed. Tricky, cold, I would imagine. They're fucking around there in the ocean for a long time without any clothes on. It looks warm where they are, though. It does look very warm, actually. It looks beautiful. Yeah.

The location, this made me want to travel to Seychelles so badly. Just beautiful turquoise azure water stretching out in front of golden sands. Honestly, the tortoises, man. Beautiful open air, teak homes, fantastic little cars, delicious food. The experience is second to none. the experience is second to none. Jean, in this film, 90% of the time, very cool, very chill dude.

We were rooting for him initially. I was rooting for him big time because Jean is all about making sure his wife is happy. That's what I get from this guy. He's like, and he derives joy from her joy. I feel like that's the whole kind of thing with the relationship. But then it turns, and he, out of nowhere, just gets incredibly jealous of Gregory, and they actually come to blows in the sort of start of the third act.

I agree with you to an extent, but I think there's a moment in this movie which represents the idea that maybe Jean is taking possibly not just as much, but more from these dalliance. He finds the idea of Emmanuel's physical attraction. Like everyone in these movies are beautiful, but they hinge on the idea that Emmanuel is sort of otherworldly. Yeah, like a demigod of sexuality.

Her beautiful transcends normalcy and i feel like you know her physical acknowledgement of this and having sex with anyone she wants to is a real fucking wheel spinner for jean and i feel like part of the reason that she leaves is that she's liberating herself from this and like you know the idea that liberation is an open relationship liberation for some people might be monogamy. It could be anything. Or it could be no relationship in the case of Emmanuel. So what do we need to believe?

Is she chasing Gregory? Yeah, she leaves for Gregory. She's in love with Gregory. And like at the end, Jean is doing all these sort of devious acts. Gregory's trying to get a hold of her. He's going,

I've got to leave. My film's been scrapped. His film looked like total shit, by the way. His film, I will put money on it, would suck ass. And I don't think it was gonna be any good it gets pulled the film's fucking off and he's running around the seychelles looking for locations to shoot in never finds one he's wasting so much time this is what you get a location scout for my dude i know i'm pretty sure

he's the director why he seems to be everything. Yeah, he's got the camera. That's right, he's just fucking around with the camera. The Neil Breen of 1977. He's got the camera and he's just like wasting film, taking footage of Emmanuel and Gregory having sex on the beach at the start. No, not Gregory, sorry, the Swede, whose name I'm assuming we never get and we never need do we need do we need the swede's name absolutely not 1977 was a big year go on do you know what

happened around the time this movie was released um no orlando bloom was born huge alongside yeah shakira orlando bloom that makes him a little older than I thought. But I guess that tracks. And Sarah Michelle Gellar. My first true love. How's that for a cluster of celebs? I love Sarah Michelle Gellar. Also, in France, they performed their last ever execution by guillotine.

That seems very late for that to be happening. It's one Orlando Bloom ago. I'm glad that you're saying guillotine. Because a lot of people say guillotine, which may be correct. But it really throws me. Guillotine. That's it. Does it have two L's in it?

Yeah. Because I know in Spanish when you get two l's you pronounce it as a y i call it the guillotine the guillotine because you're such a big fan of chopping people's heads off also the release of the atari sick which one in north america 2600 the 2600 and 2600. 2-6-0-0. Yeah, same number. Elvis Presley died at 42. On the toilet. Yeah, on the can. Poor guy.

Elvis got so fucking boned. Do you know, he like, had to constantly be touring in America because he should have been touring internationally. But his manager, who was an arsehole, had some thing with his passport where he couldn't go overseas, so he just stopped Elvis from internationally touring and kept him doing those residencies in Vegas and stuff. That's horrible. This is rife in the entertainment industry.

I actually got quite deep into a hashtag free Britney internet hole recently. So Britney Spears, it seems to me that her entire entertainment enterprise is controlled by her father. Well, yeah, because he's got the conservatorship, right? Yeah. And she's obviously had mental health battles,

but is of sound enough mind that she can take control for her life. But he continues to push the narrative that she is not of sound mind, so that every single decision she makes within her life has to be signed off by him which is why all of her videos take place in her home i mean i don't know how i i i've only read very you know i've it seems legit though i tell you what the free britney movement seems legit absolutely i'm worried about i'm really worried about Britney.

As well you should be. We've been worried about Britney for a long time. It's a tragic life of Britney Spears, really. It seems very sad to me. Like, you and I were at a fucking awesome party, little get-together at, randomly, a place I used to live. So Guy and I went to the beths great local band yeah yeah and then afterwards we went to a friend's house uh and i'd never been to their

house before and uh i was waiting for someone because they were waiting for an uber so i was making sure they got in there and i got the guy to text me the address he texts me the address it was my old flat randomly randomly. Such a beautiful home. We went there and we played a karaoke game and one of the friends did the Britney Spears song, Lucky. And God damn, it made me think a lot about Britney's life. Yeah. She's transmitting her pain into those lyrics

direct from her heart to my ears. And I felt very sad thinking about Britney Spears. The game is called Callum's Favourite Game and it is great fun. It's truly sensational. You put on a pair of... Full credit, this game was conceived of

by Callum Devlin. That's right. Who is a legend responsible for multiple fantastic music videos and also this game and also Loud Cooking, which is a segment on my live streaming web show,

Happening, which is on hiatus. Anyway, Calum Devlin, I was trying to find his Twitter handle while he said all that. It's Sports Team Sports. Sports Team Sports. Well, that's where they make music videos.

It's like their production company. Well, this is all to say that the game is, you've got noise cancelling headphones it was so full-on it was about 3 a.m it was late everyone was winding down he said it's time to play calum's favorite game and everyone said no and he said okay here's what happens you put on headphones and everyone sits and watches you while you perform karaoke to a song only you can hear and everyone said that sounds really full-on and then calum's parted in about while dragging chairs across the lounge said yep it's really full on and everyone's bad at it and then calum turned the lights off put on a bossanova track danced while performing

a light show for three minutes yeah and then sang what was this song i can't remember neither can i i don't know it doesn't though. It was a sensational experience, and it was one of those things that you need the perfect number of people for, and as long as everyone really throws themselves into it, you just have a rollicking good time. It was a sensation. A great game. Truly a great game.

Do you reckon Emmanuel and Jean and Gregory could have worked this out if they had played Callum's favourite game? I reckon they could have. I don'tregory could have worked this out if they had played uh callum's favorite game i reckon they could have i don't think they could have i reckon that would have been the bridge over these troubled waters truly i just think i think the right i think the right outcome was reached i think jean has a lot of soul searching to do he presented as a as a cool relaxed confident guy but literally as soon as anything fell outside of his comfort zone, he wigged out. Yeah.

He presented this really, it's sort of quite, this really open-minded, like, I'm okay as long as, you know, they would keep saying as long as they're happy, I'm happy. Yeah, yeah. But that did not turn out to be the case.

No, it wasn't. I mean, and ultimately, is that a huge surprise? Everyone's got their own life to live. A relationship is, what is a relationship, Tim? It's two people or more. What are you giving in a relationship? Not you specifically, but the concept of a relationship.

What do you give to form a healthy relationship? Love. That's it? Yeah, I think so. Well, there's so many different kinds of relationship. It's too broad a question. You could have a relationship like Emmanuel and Jean, where it's a kind of love.

They even say that at the end of the movie, they were like, what do they say? They're kind of like Jean is taken off guard by the fact that he is jealous of this blossoming relationship by surprise with um gregory and he says i thought we were past this kind of love in our relationship he also said what you know if this happens now it undermines the value of everything that's come before is that oh i missed that bit words to that a lot of subtitles we embarked on the film initially we had options this time which was kind of nice

the first film we watched with subtitles in the original french the second film we watched without subtitles without subtitles in the original French. Yeah. So just the original French with no understanding of French. This third film, we started watching dubbed. Dubbed in English. Not for me. No good. No, dubs are bad. Dubs are horrible, eh?

And the good thing about subs, subs over dubs, subs over dubs till I die, they force you to pay attention to the film because you've got to be reading to be engaged. And what do you need to do to read? You need to look at the screen. You cannot look away. What do you think of this decision of this season of the podcast where we're doing a new movie each time

and that movie happens to be in this film franchise? I think, I don't know, I think we've made a huge mistake, and I look forward to living with it. Yeah, that's usually the case with this thing, isn't it? What do you think is, let's try and make a guess for what happens next for Emmanuelle. Do you think she meets Gregory? Because I reckon she absolutely doesn't.

No, they'll sort of, I think they'll dispatch of the through lines that have been constructed Just knowing that this is meant to be the closure of a trilogy Do you think she'll enter the French space program In preparation for the Emanuel in space series? I shudder to think what we'll live through I don't think they're going to go straight to space It's going to remain grounded on land

What have we had so far? I'd like to see them in Thailand Paris Hong Kong And now on land what have we had so far i'd like to see them in thailand paris hong kong and now uh seychelles seychelles sorry and now where do you want to go paris france i would love to just be on this like one thing these movies do make you want to do is um travel travel especially at the moment yeah we're not going to be doing that for a little while travel is illegal and rightly so um have you been to france yes have you spent time in yes what did you think of it beautiful did it make you want to uh star in a softcore pornography no no no and i didn't and so if you do look it up you won't get any hits because i didn't

it was beautiful the food was fantastic the people were friendly uh you know a lot of really professional crew members fantastic dop crew members great gaffers shooting what was i shooting yeah well i wasn't shooting anything tim i was shooting my mouth off trying to speak french having croissants having having a good time, mixing and mingling with the locals. That's cool. Yeah. What did you spend most of your time doing while you were in Paris?

I was, I kept sort of, well, I spent a lot of time on film, on filming the surrounds so I could watch them back after the fact and reminisce do people call you um guy montgomery gee gee is that how the guy is and spelt gui pronounced gee that's kind of cool i like that yeah yeah uh it was great and i didn't film i didn't film anything so but i would love to go there in this franchise i just want to fucking i just want like the one of the things i'm taking away what you want is a travel show yeah yeah you would actually i think it would be um nicer for you if we just sat down and watched some uh travel tv literally couldn't agree more what the fuck is it called

the travel channel is that what it's called yeah i don't know man i haven't owned a television let's do the math on this when was the last time i had a tv probably like three flats ago remember that was about seven years ago that was a defining personality trait not having a tv yeah we don't actually we don't we don't we don't do tvs we don't watch tv we don't watch tv what do you do fucking make up your own dialogue? These are professionals They work day and night perfecting how people talk And you're telling me you're just going to dismiss all of that? Pretty bullshit man It's quite rude if anything

People put a lot of work into it Disrespectful The least we could do is watch You gotta watch everything ever made What's the future of entertainment guy? I feel like we had our traditional television. Before that, we had Emmanuel. Now we have the internet age where we're consuming quick bites, I believe.

What are they called? Quibi. Yeah, yeah. That's quick bites, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. That's what happens when you give Jeffrey Katzenberg a billion dollars. He's had it. He earned that money.

That's his money. Yeah. That's undeniably, indisputably his money that he fucking pissed away on a great idea for a platform. You earn the money, you piss the money away. I actually read, this is, I don't know is allowed but i just i it was a really interesting concept that was introduced i was reading a book when i woke up this morning it's called ant kind do you make it sound like you woke up and you were reading a book it's like you were you were sleep reading a book and you came to and you were like whoa i was it's the first it's the debut

novel from charles kaufman who's the filmmaker who did being john malkovich and he's done he's done he's an interesting guy and it's really it's a really interesting novel and he's a character who's describing who's like talking about how uh memory is like your memories are what you reminisce on is only as reliable as what you imagine the future to be like the only thing that we have our actual finger on the pulse of is the present like your memories in the future both equally and he was describing in his life what everyone's going to be talking about in say 30 or 40 years and it's this thing called i believe brainio and it's this it's instead of television we have these chips in our brain or we have like we we're broadcast directly into our brain these stories and they're almost like pick a path where it's like you can insert

you can watch something that's just beamed specialized to your brain tailored to what you enjoy in entertainment or a version where you are inserted within the story so you're watching out these narratives that take place in your own shows and it's all transmitted and exists within your brain that fully seems like that is exactly where we would be going. Yeah. That seems real to me. Yeah. Shit. Is it like a scary book or is it chill? Because you know how like...

It's not scary. You know the movie Her where you can interpret it and be like, that's terrifying. But the whole movie is like, this is kind of chill. Don't worry about it. It's just some AIs fucking around. They're definitely not going to liquefy your insides to use as an energy source. The movie is... The book,'s it's neither scary nor chill like it's not super chilled it's quite a um unsettling not unsettling but just unusual the rhythms and like you know the

characters and they're all these sort of moments that put you slightly off balance but not in a scary way just in like what i'm feeling a bit fucking yeah it's a good time yeah oh crazy sound did you get that yeah that was cool man now the soundboard's on board one thing i do like about these emmanuel movies and i know that we bring this up with all the films we watch but um you have to when you gotta when you have to watch movies is the duration this one knocked it out of the park with from memory an hour and 41 minutes that's right and i believe that included credits and that's always good the one thing that i will grab is my shining light because you grabbed the

old man who made up a story about his wife being eaten by a shark uh is undeniably the soundtrack it kicked so much ass. It was so good. The soundtrack, which was just really one soundtrack, also the font choice, the opening and closing credits use the same font, the same color. It's this beautiful pink, and it's quite an of-its-time font.

It's very 70s. Hippie-ass, man. It's real happening. I feel like this movie represents, I don't know, like the late 70s is probably hippie-dom is on the wane, the height of free love. And so this movie almost represents the idea that there is an expiry date on everything

and that maybe free love is not the way forward. Didn't they say that like 1969 was when it all died? I don't know. Maybe I'm making that up. I've had sex since 1969 tim have you yep wild i'm fucking crazy yeah that's nuts man um there was some other bits that happened in the film too which we kind of glossed over and haven't talked about there is um the scene where gregory and jean come to blows and that was happening uh There was sort of a cultural dance outside by a forest.

That was happening. What else have we got? There was a bit where an ox draws a cart. Which Emmanuel and Gregory are in. Did you miss that? Huge ox. A land beast. Don't remember it vividly.

Horned and carrying them on its back via a cart. Ox is a great word to play and scrabble if you're stuck with an X. Yep. What's the difference between ox and oxen? Singular and plural. Oh, okay. Look at that ox. Look at those ox okay. Look at that ox. Look at those oxen.

Look at those oxes. Look at that oxen. Look at all those chickens. Look at all those mice. Look at all those mouse... Mouses. Not a word. Yeah, I think you're right.

Oxen is the plural. Fish, fishes. Yeah. Fishes doesn't exist. It's Not a word. Yeah, I think you're right. Oxen is the plural. Fish, fishes. Yeah. Fishes doesn't exist. It's all a thing. Sheeps. Yep. Doesn't exist.

You've also got that correct. I'm kind of gutted that we won't see Jean again in this franchise because in spite of the fact that, you know, 10% of this movie he was a real piece of shit, there was a lot of good stuff about him and I liked that he was... He played it shit there was there was a lot of good stuff about him and i liked that he was he played it pretty cool through most of the thing and he seemed in some ways kind of selfless and also the fact that he walked into his house and said good morning make me a drink and then

received at what i estimated to be 10 45 a.m a long island tea. One of the strongest of all possible cocktail combinations. There's something about being in the Seychelles and getting fucking blind drunk before noon. This guy was for a moment there truly living his dream. When's he doing the architecting?

Mate, he's fucking setting up threesomes left, right and centre. What if I told you that Jean as played by Umberto Orsini, is alive today? I would be amazed. How old would you guess that person to be? Right now, today? He's 80. Six.

He's six years old? That's fucked up, dude. Born in a leap year. Time travel. Born in a leap year. They're kind of... Oh, no, he'd still be 24, wouldn't he? Yeah, he'd be young.

He'd be really young. What's he up to? Tell me about this man. He's just a very... He's just a guy. He's an acclaimed actor. He was nominated. In 2008, he was nominated to David DiDonatello

for Best Supporting Actor for his role in Il Mattino Allora in Boca. In 1969, he was awarded with the Nastro D'Argentino for Best Supporting Actor for his performance in Visconti's The Damned. He was actually in the throes of a very successful film career by the time he got into Emmanuel. Huh. Do you think a bit, like, are the French just a lot cooler than the Americans?

Because that's the other big cinematic kind of, you know, house that we've got to compare to. Do you think the French are just a lot cooler than the Americans because that's the other big cinematic kind of house that we've got to compare to. Do you think the French are just a lot cooler or do you think that first Emmanuel movie really was quite a risky maneuver for all involved? I think it was risky. I think both.

Both are true. I think the French are cooler. I think it was probably still quite a risky thing. First one to embrace its X rating say this you're right we're not going to hide it yeah that's exactly what we're making we're hiding the penis but not x rating over two million people are going to come down to the cinema and they're going to fucking love it yeah 2.2 million ticket buyers just in france blows my mind man get your hand off at fr. Put your hand back on at France.

You do you. Just don't get jealous when someone else also puts their... I don't know what the... I'm trying to link it to the film you see, Guy. Don't overthink it. This movie, for me, gets a 4 out of 10. Rescued a lot. Like, it would be probably a 2.

Rescued quite a... Nah, you know what? I'm going to give it a five. This is important to me. It's getting a five out of ten. Killer soundtrack that we very rarely hear. The acting, and I'm thinking back to what you've said previously, a little bit hard to discern when people are speaking

in a language you don't understand, which is the case here. Aye. So I'm going to give them some benefit of the doubt, but not the whole way. Five out of ten for the film. That's compared to way higher ratings, which I think I gave out of five for the previous two. Yeah.

So not only has the score changed, the very metric itself is different. Yeah. I wouldn't watch this movie. I have. Yeah, you did. But i wouldn't watch this movie i have yeah you did but i wouldn't yeah you wouldn't do it again that's my review the fucking fabulous thing about this is things might get better this season we just don't know worse hopefully hornier yeah i will not rest until i want to sit down with my friend Guy and watch a goddamn horny porno. Is there so much to ask?

A horno. El horno. Terrible. You got anything else to add before we close this off? Fuck no. It's really warm in this room, eh? I think it's taken the wind out of our sails slightly. I think we've done a good job.

Let's see if we've got any other news for you from 1977. Oh, that seems apropos. Star Wars premieres. Cool, man. Yeah. Jimmy Carter takes over as President of the United States. Sick. You know what he did?

Grants a pardon to American draft dodgers of the Vietnam War. That's pretty cool. Also warns that Americans need to make profound changes in their oil consumption. He did do that. And symbolically put solar panels on the White House roof. Well, not symbolically. Like, they functioned. They were working.

They were just very inefficient. But then, do you know who took them down? Reagan. What a piece of shit this guy's awesome carter yeah yeah dude he got um he got boned by the uh iran hostage crisis i think i think that's what happened i don't know amer America was reeling with what had happened with Nixon, right? They were like, this fucking dude. Think about Nixon. He wasn't all bad.

He was a bad guy, but he actually did a lot of groovy stuff, in addition to taping everyone at the White House and using the political apparatus against his enemies. But when the American public was exposed to the treachery, the debts of depravity that this man was capable of, and in acting, they were like, we need a good dude. So they found this fucking peanut farmer, Methodist,

and they were like, this guy, this guy is our guy. And so he got a run at it and uh he did a couple of cool things but i think the system kind of ate him up that's why that line in the simpsons i never really got it as a kid but when they refer to jimmy carter as history's greatest monster that's a pretty fucking funny joke yeah he's still alive he's 97 i think and he builds houses for humanity to this day yeah and if you go to google jimmy carr yeah yeah he's second to jimmy carr you'd be fucking furious second to jimmy carr the president is second to jimmy carr the comedian to british tax dodging comedian jimmy carr did he dodge oh was he in the fucking papers? Independent of the papers.

He got snapped hard. True. Yeah. Don't do it, folks. Pay your fucking taxes. If Emanuel has taught me anything, pay your goddamn taxes. That's all from me. You done? I'm done too. We're good on

1977? We can close that book? Yeah, nothing else happened Unbelievable Alright well we'll be back in the next episode To explore whatever the fuck Emmanuel 4 turns out to be I'll catch you then Bye.