The Worst Idea Of All Time - 04: The Mirror Operators Union
Episode Date: January 14, 2023The Fellaz have just watched F9 for the fourth time and they’re feeling… Not so fine. Tim wants EVs in the Fast-everse and potentially AI-self driving cars too. Guy is full of resentment and has a... hankering for a little bit more Movie Magic. The Mirror Union are not to be trifled with, nor are puppeteers. Shout out to Thailand, which portrays Montequinto in this film.Artwork by Tomas CottleTheme song by Luke Rowellworstideaofalltime.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Hello Guy
Hello Tim
Welcome to the fourth episode of the sixth season of The Worst Idea of All Time
With yourself, Gar Montgomery
And myself, Tim Batt
We're really physically close together for this record
Yes, yes
We have watched F9
I want to lean back but there's not enough slack on the line.
That's good context, though.
It will sort of explain the intimate air and the soft, sonorous tones of our voice today
as we whisper to one another our thoughts on F9, the ninth installment.
I want to lean back, though.
I want to be chill.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
And the fourth screening of the ninth installment
In the Fast and the Furious franchise
Because I just watched it very long
It felt very long
It felt like a very long movie today
It is long
A very long movie
Life is long
Oh that's pretty good
That's about as good as it's going to get
Life is long and
On some days Tim
Fast 9 is somehow even longer Life is a highway What do days, Tim, fast nine is somehow even longer.
Life is a highway.
What do you want to do with it?
I want to turn it into a more pedestrian-friendly, cycle-accessible path.
You want to pedestrianize life.
Yeah, I do.
Call me crazy.
I just think it's a better way to go.
And then do you want to walk it all night long?
Yeah, I do.
Or cycle.
Take an e-bike out there.
You do?
You e-bike?
I got an e-bike.
I bought a second-hand e-bike
and it rips.
How's that going?
Yeah, I love it.
It's no...
How many Fast and the Furious movies
do you think there needs to be
until they get to a point
where they're like,
A, we're out of other vehicles
and B, it's like socially acceptable now
for tough guys to be on e-bikes? Fast 26? for tough guys to be on e-bikes
as soon as 26 i think they'll be on e-bikes before they'll be in e-cars
nah the evs probably that'll that's a good thing to do for 10 i think fast 10 is like you know 10
such a significant number you want to have a um a real mood shift it's about the future it's
like guess what we're in fucking souped up teslas now and so and and uh chalice there on has taken
over the ai self-driving thing and so now there's it's like all the cars are driving at dominic
teredo and he's the one guy who didn't trust self-driving cars so he's still in like a beat
up stick shift charger and all the teslas are like boxing him in on the highway it'd be a good scene it's like the um
reverse of his control of the magnets in this yeah yeah exactly with the magnets there's this
beautiful scene where all the cars are kind of being hurled at um this big truck that's careening
down a georgian main thoroughfare.
And do you know the crazy thing about it?
Yeah.
It's less interesting than it sounds.
It was exciting the first time we watched it.
And it's impressive filmmaking, I think.
I actually think it looks pretty good.
But maybe you don't agree.
We're different people.
It's not that I don't think it looks good.
It's that...
You feel nothing.
Yeah.
These, these, these movies, unsurprisingly, most movies, as it turns out, are not made to withstand this level of scrutiny or just general rewatching, especially blockbuster action films.
action films tom cruise's films are probably the exception in the knowledge that those are all of the action sequences are filmed for real and so there is a genuine intrigue and risk and like an
excitement to revisit them but when you know all of it is cgi'd yeah it removes a certain level of
investment i think like that this is what i noticed today tim is it's really lacking
a certain movie magic this flashback scenes have got it in spades even those they've got a lovely
grade they've got a sort of it's all they all feel like they're set in golden hour even when
you know he's in prison yeah you feel like the sun is setting in a way that is not scary on the
prison in a way that's like oh it's nice light in here right now.
Yeah, I want to be at the beach.
I feel like I am at the beach.
But, you know, it's not to deny that the action sequences are big.
But big doesn't necessarily mean good.
Well, it's a good one-time thing.
And I think this is the problem with what we've decided to do.
The action movies are made to be consumed once,
maybe twice if you're into it,
but once you've seen all the set pieces and you know all the twists,
there's not a lot for you to do
while you're just sitting there watching two hours and 20 minutes of Vin Diesel.
I'm thinking back to the first time.
The twist in this movie,
the bait that's on the hook,
the carrot that's on the stick,
the thing that keeps you invested the first time you see it is the twists and turns of john senior and vin diesel's
relationship as brothers dominic and jacob and the sort of whodunit nature of how complicit is
jacob in the death of their father mr teredo and once you know how that all plays out like i remember
the first time when they're like,
he did it and you're like,
oh shit.
And then they're like,
but it was under,
you know,
there were extenuating circumstances and he was just trying to do something
that it was right by the family and other circumstance intervened and kill
the dead.
And you go,
oh man,
this is complex.
And then you sort of want them to get along.
Yeah.
You're like,
whoa,
Dominic's got a brother.
Whoa,
he's evil. Whoa. Maybe he's not dominic's got a brother whoa he's evil whoa maybe he's not that's right whoa he is yeah whoa he's redeemed himself yeah and then whoa jason statham's
in the credit sequence which i forgot about yeah smashing up some guy in a boxing bag jason statham. Statham. Sort of Helen Mirren doing Jason Statham.
Dominic Toretto.
Do Statham.
Jason Statham.
Jason Statham.
Jason Statham.
Jason Statham.
He can't do a TH, though.
It's Statham, surely. He's got the same...
Jason Statham.
He's in the same vocal range as Vin Diesel,
just with a different upbringing.
Vin Diesel.
No, he's high it's interesting
because it is gravely but it's like a higher version of gravely jason statham it's yeah
where is it it's like the back of the throat but sort of higher vin diesel is just he's kind of
like he's down on your collarbone jason say jason say them so well for like you know him and vin
have both arguably been narrow cast,
except he gets to play the same character
in a wide variety of movies,
whereas Vin Diesel literally plays
the same character in one franchise.
And why?
Because of what we talked about
in the last episode with Paul F. Tompkins.
Jason Statham has humour.
He has a sense of humour.
He has charisma.
He can do comedy.
He can play the light and the shade. He has something sense of humour. He has charisma. He can do comedy. He can play the light and the shade.
He has something called it.
He's got it.
I don't know what it is, but he's got it.
That's right.
He does have it.
Jason Statham, I think, he's great.
Have you seen the Crank movies?
I saw the first one, yeah.
Oh, man.
He's got to maintain a certain amount he's got to maintain a
certain amount of adrenaline to stay alive that's right because he's sort of been poisoned a bit
and then in the second one he still has to have the same amount of adrenaline to stay alive what
is the twist i feel they changed it a little bit but i can't remember exactly the ways in which he
maintains the level of adrenaline would be one of the main things you'd change. I feel like they ramped it up in the Sigma,
but I can't remember how.
It's a different wave.
He keeps electrocuting himself.
Does he have to juice up a battery or something that's inside him?
That would be kind of cool.
You have to get lightly electrocuted every two hours to stay alive.
That would be cool for one,
or that would be a cool thing for a movie.
For a movie.
Not for one.
This was a real throwback screening for me in that I resented everything and everyone.
Yeah.
And you fall under the umbrella of things I resented for the two and a half hours we were watching Fast 9.
That makes me feel nostalgic.
I kind of like that.
Okay.
I didn't.
It makes me resent the characters for repeating the same decisions. I was actually willing, Ramsey, Tej and Roman, into exploring the interpersonal dynamics of their relationship. to be a semi-functioning professional friendship into some sort of thruple.
There is the insinuation, I feel, and I might be wrong,
of some sort of sexual chemistry.
Never referred to on screen or never really opened up.
Never realised.
Particularly between Tej or Ludacris and Ramsay,
the actor's name that I don't know.
And I thought, well, that's a bit boring, that's a bit
staid and old hat
and I thought well how could we enliven
this and I thought well what if
what if we had yeah
what's the twist? A throuple yeah what's three times three
what's three squared? Nine
what if we had these three guys
fucking each other nine times
you know what I'm saying anyway
three throuples three throuples What if we had these three guys fucking each other nine times? Oh, you know what I'm saying anyway.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Three throuples.
But I just really will.
Yeah, three throuples.
Some siblings.
It's F9.
F'd up.
That's the subtitle.
Family nine.
But just, you know, it's old territory,
but just wanting different decisions to be made within the same setting to watch slightly divergent outcomes.
And did they do it? No, they didn't do it. Did they do exactly the same setting to watch slightly divergent outcomes.
And did they do it?
No, they didn't do it. Did they do exactly the same thing they did last week?
They did. That's what they did.
And did we?
Also, yes.
We watched the damn thing.
That's right.
And I do, you know, I like that we're back in the old school.
Oh, you like this?
The repeats, no phone.
It's like we're doing it for real.
We watched it on a TV, you know. This is good. This feels it for real. We watch it on a TV.
This is good.
This feels right to me.
In the spirit of that familiarity. I hated it and this feels right to me therefore.
Did you observe any extras?
Like, you know, I guess that is probably later terrain
that we might not even reach with.
But, you know, I feel as though the first street racing scene when i notice oh sorry you or the flashback scene
where vinnie bennett's vin diesel so like a young dominic torredo's released from prison and he has
a street race with jacob um there's that's a big set piece with a lot of extras and quite a lot of
fun exploration to take place sort of i would say about that you get the feeling there's a lot of extras i think if we started drilling into how
that works they've got about seven people on a bunch of mirrors no i don't think it's a i don't
think they've actually got a lot of extra if you look at actually how they're shooting and stuff i
don't think they've got that many people i. I love... They just crowd them around. I love the idea of these high-budget films running at, you know,
like the obscure corners in which they run out of budget.
Yeah.
Like, you know, because so clearly no expense has been spared
for so much of this.
But then to find out that, like, that was the last one they had to shoot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're out.
They couldn't scrounge together enough money for a bunch of people
from Star Now
or wherever you find your extras.
But I mean, what do you think costs more?
Like to buy, to hire 10 more extras,
what's the better value proposition?
To hire 10 more extras for a scene
or to buy or rent 10 large mirrors
and mirror operators, I guess.
It's tricky because you've got to be careful with those
mirrors you got to make it not too obvious hey yeah like the people who are running the mirrors
surely those are more specialized skilled technicians than just extras yeah they cost a
bit it's like getting a really good puppeteer you would think that anyone could you know put their
hand up a puppet and make a puppet come to life anyone could point a mirror somewhere no you
couldn't be more wrong to do it at the level that is required to get away with it in a hollywood
movie you need the best mirror operators out there and they're not cheap i would never think
and they're unionized are they well yeah of course the mirror guys the mirror guys they're like a
famously dogged union just before we get get back onto them i just want to say i would never assume um that anyone could operate a puppet even the simple really hand up the ass child's puppet i
think um puppeteers are remarkably skilled practitioners and that that is something that
you know would require a lot of outlay and concentration i'd be fascinated to know if
any puppeteers listen to this podcast i know one puppeteer do you yep sarah sarah thompson what's the call
what do you mean good value as a person yeah she rocks she always banging on about puppets no she
just she's she does so many things she's um i don't know her as a puppeteer she's an actor
she used to run bfm yeah um she's puppeteer from their kids show I forgot the name of it there's it's a good show
though mo the mo show yeah yeah I remember the motion here on there Wow yeah it's funny with
these little skills that actors have to pick up you know to make ends meet that's it well and if
the if they're like able to they often get it in sort of adjacent fields to acting so you know like
puppeteering and stuff that's cool you know what it's like the same thing as um acting where it's
like if it's not if you're not breaking it big then you wind up working in subsidiary avenues
of acting like you'd be performing in ads you know which i've done of course and then you know
you wind up puppeteering and ads and then it like, not only are you not doing exactly the thing you want,
but you're doing it through a...
You're like, this isn't what I imagined.
No, a gig's a gig.
It's great stuff.
You're entertaining people.
I agree.
When the money comes in, Tim, a gig is a gig.
Do you think...
But when you're performing the job,
a gig is not a gig.
Do you think...
There's a sliding scale of enjoyment.
Is there a difference between an actor and a mirror actor? Do you have Do you think a... There's a sliding scale of enjoyment.
Is there a difference between an actor and a mirror actor?
Do you have to have such a symmetrical face to get away with it?
Or do you actually want somebody who doesn't have such a symmetrical face?
This is a whole other avenue of expense.
So you're saying not only do you have to hire the mirror technicians
who are unionised and the mirrors,
but it changes the range and sort of style of actor
I'm asking the question
Well, I mean, all of a sudden we've gone from
I'm positing that you do probably need
You know
Because we watched the whole credits
This was a big, yeah
There's a lot of people involved
Yeah
There was a thing on TikTok, I think
At TikTok of people freaking out when they reverse switch their face.
It would sort of become slightly horrifying for them,
a little bit of uncanny valley situation.
And it's sort of, it's like, you know,
if you accidentally put someone on screen
whose face looks real fucked up when you mirrorize it,
that's no good.
So you've got to get these special actors.
But this is what is interesting to me.
So they've run out of budget
so we've blown up
too many cars
we've sent too many people
to space
you're very hung up
on the budget
I don't know
if that's the reason
maybe it's easier
to wrangle
seven people
and three mirrors
rather than 21 extras
one of the big things
in films
is you don't want
to see the cat
unless there's a documentary
in which case
even then you don't want that
because it punctures the world
there's so much
that goes into not getting any of the crew if you've got seven actors and
however many mirrors and you're trying to represent sort of 60 to 100 people if you did it right
though what would happen is you could show because you wouldn't be seeing the exact same angle
repeated so it's kind of like so here's what you'd see. Seven fronts of these actors.
And then if you do the mirrors right, you're sort of seeing like another seven backs.
So you wouldn't put it together in your head.
Also then, because I imagine that we would recognize the outfits as one,
you'd also have to have a wardrobe department who stitch together different front and back costumes.
Very doable.
You've got to have a whole outfit anyway.
Why not just split the panels and the colors three ways this should be the leading feature of what is discussed about the film i mean
when people talk about movie magic this is what they're referring to this is the thing this is
why this is so exciting this is literal movie magic like cgi you know you can recreate people
you can fill out a crowd using a computer yeah but to successfully create a scene
full of extras using seven people your mirror unions your wardrobe experts who i suppose are
probably in cahoots with the mirror unions they work together closely on a lot of absolutely used
to each other yeah you know i mean who who's governance who's what producer who's who is like this is how we're pursuing you're
not going to like the answer to this go ahead no i don't know i don't know what is even your
question what producer brought well like it's just it's just such it's such a um stylistic
you know departure from how the rest of the film is made.
You just think that because you see what you see on screen,
you never kind of like take it apart in your head.
And you do?
There's an extra, there's an extra, there's an extra.
But in fact, you've only seen one extra and three mirrors.
What?
Is every extra in this movie a mirror? No, I'm just saying if you see like three people,
you might be looking at three people,
you might be looking at one person and some very talented unionized mirror operators
what's it i mean what are the odds what's the likelihood in this movie pretty high because
there's not that many extras it's just easy to wrangle you've you deal with so many cars all
the time and vin diesel and he's got a whole fucking entourage so it's like there's so many
people personalities egos legal wranglings to make sure that a punch doesn't look so it's like there's so many people personalities egos legal wranglings to
make sure that a punch doesn't look like it's actually landed too hard on vin diesel so his
fucking representation gets on board to pull the pin on that day's shooting and you've got to
fucking re-script a goddamn fight scene with him um you've got a lot to worry about so you want as
few extras as possible really so you can just have a first ad
one unit that's it and he's looking after the mirror operators and seven people what's the
fucking like three different units what's the situation if um they nail a fight scene you know
there's one extra rendered seven times but also you're picking up a boom and you know the corner of a camera and frame for the
fight scene like why would that happen well because you know obviously even if you get the best guys
on every single part of the job errors are going to be made these these mirrors just introduce such
a no you take multiple takes in the same way that you know you could you could see a boom with a
you know a camera operator who was not good at their job these are the best in
the biz these guys are good yeah they've been working for a long time getting as good as they
are these mirror operators you've you the the very idea that this is part of you know that i'm
genuinely entertaining in my head is it's actually elevated my viewing experience you start thinking
about it as well you know what it also cuts down on?
Number of cars they need to have in this.
Because you think you're seeing two cars.
No, no, no.
There's no cars around mirrors.
There might be.
Because there's a lot of background cars in this movie as well.
So if instead of having to wrangle, think about it, man.
You've got to rent 10 cars and 10 drivers.
Or five cars, five drivers.
And one or two maybe really good mirror operators who i assume
are also in cars yeah they probably wouldn't need to be so maybe you boost it up maybe instead of
like 20 background cars and drivers you've got like 10 and then two mirror operators and that
makes it you know you're saving money then in the production you say are they stunt drivers as well
yeah to an extent are they slashies are
they like stunt slash mirror like mirror drivers i think it's a specialized kind of being a mirror
operator right it's sort of i i feel as though at this point those cars are approaching some
james bond technology where they would read as invisible you know that's silly.
I don't deserve that.
I do not deserve this kind of treatment.
The James Bond invisible car, that was a different idea where it had cameras on the back and then the front had a projector that would project what was being seen onto the front,
which is actually a pretty good way of dealing with the invisibility idea.
That's how you do it.
That's how I do it.
Your brain functions in a way that I actually sometimes can't delineate the line
where you are willing to suspend your disbelief and go along with some sort of ludicrous technical imagining
or creation in a film
and you're like, yeah, I can see how they've gotten on that train of thought
and you're willing to believe it.
And other times where your brain interferes and says,
that's fucking stupid.
Yeah, it's confusing.
Like, because I was thinking during this movie,
I was trying to cast us or cast you inside of the film.
I was thinking, which of the Fast and the Furious crew are you?
Ramsey, surely.
Yeah, and Ramsey was where I got to
because she's always pulling out little doodackies,
like little flip open.
You're Roman.
Am I?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, absolutely.
I think you're Roman.
He's awesome.
He's demonstrably the stupidest one.
He's the funniest guy there.
He's not that stupid.
He managed to fly a car and he worked out that ludacris's
necklace was not in fact silver because silver is not ferrous that is actually um it's attracted
to the metal to the magnet it's possible he knows that but that read is a slightly unrealistic
moment to me today it stuck out to me too i was like that guy doesn't know that but how would
you know that what do you mean how would you how would he know that? What do you mean? How would he know that?
Because people know things.
What do you mean?
I don't know.
I don't know anything.
I reckon you'd know that about silver, though.
You'd know that it's not magnetic.
How would I know that?
I don't know.
So we're Ramsey and Roman.
I reckon.
Which means we're two parts of the thruple.
That's right.
Who is our Tej?
I guess so far it would have to be paul he's the only guy he's the only other guy we've asked into the dojo yeah that's pretty good not a bad throuple no no no conversation
certainly keeps things moving keeps things interesting yeah it would be it'd be good
uh who else could you be i could see you as um it's interesting because when
there's shades of otto but you know it's not the complete package i think you're a mix of
of probably otto and roman but 65 roman 35 otto i don't mind that. Actually, I'm going to go 60-40 because I think you cut a closer physical figure to Otto.
Oh, wow.
You're slender.
You look great in a suit.
I think Roman would be-
Do you think I look good in a suit?
Yeah.
I don't wear suits that often, you know.
You wore it for the spelling bee.
I've seen you at weddings.
Yeah, you have.
You have seen me at weddings.
It happens. Yeah. And you look great. Yeah, you have. You have seen me at weddings. It happens.
Yeah.
And you look great.
Oh, thank you.
Slender gents such as ourselves, we're lucky in that respect.
Whenever I wear a suit, I always think it's crazy to me that people put this on,
like to go and send emails.
You know?
But it's a big part of the performance.
It's like, I've got to do this to go and...
It is a performance, isn't it?
It's a fucking rort.
Fill out a subject line.
That was such a big thing.
I remember when I left my office job
and started working in radio
and just the feeling of not having to wear formal dress wear
to go to work was such a big thing.
Mentally, it was like, this is a whole other ballgame.
And people have to put on this restrictive stupid shirt.
People fly in these outfits.
I think you get used to it, but sadly,
I think it's a meeting together of your,
you kind of get used to wearing it.
There's a getting in the bathtub kind of a thing.
You get used to the water,
but also I think a bit of your soul dies
when you wear a suit for long enough,
and that's part of the acclimation to it.
Do you know what I like about suits?
The inside pockets.
Really good.
I still like that.
Have you ever worn one that's got an inside pocket at the bottom?
Yeah.
That's pretty good, eh?
What do you put in there?
Because it's got to be quite light. I don't know.
I bought sort of a jacket.
It's like a...
Blazer?
It's sort of like a... The most... No, it's not a blazer it's sort of like a the the most no it's not a blazer
it's not formal it's like a french painter's jacket is kind of the it's not for it's not
french and it's not for painting but you know it's that's the sort of that's in my head the
description of the jacket and it's got i've been trapped i've traveled in it and it's got like a
pocket on the inside and it's like the perfect pocket you can put your passport in there and
you're gonna fill out that paper form when you're going to a different country and it's like the perfect pocket you can put your passport in there and you've got to fill out that paper form when you're going
to a different country
and it's always too big
for any of your other pockets
and it gets rumpled
and crumpled
I put that in the passport
I put the passport
with the paper
in the pocket
I put the pen
in the pocket
and I just like
this is living
that is how I feel
and I honestly
I feel like the smartest
motherfucker on the plane
when I like take it out
and I start flinging it
I'm like
I got all my shit in here
you know I don't need to be getting up and getting my bag out from
above the oh god that shits me yeah i don't even have to put it in the pocket the plane pocket
because it's in the the pandas pocket oh heaven good and that you know i mean that people in suits
it's different because the pockets are slimmer and trimmer and i don't know that they can fit
the big bit of card and also you can put it you shouldn't fold it up the declaration form you
shouldn't fold it up brother let me tell you about that declaration form they throw those away
i know i do not understand why we're doing those it's crazy you go into it because i think it was
in the news like just pre-pandemic or something and someone figured out and then it was think it was in the news, like just pre-pandemic or something, and someone figured out, and then it was like,
these fuckers are just throwing these away as soon as they get.
They're not for anything.
No, they look at them though.
You put the declaration on, you tick all the boxes that say,
I'm not carrying $20,000 cash on me.
You're not bringing in food.
I don't have tobacco.
You say, this is what my email address is.
This is my phone number.
This is where I live.
And first off, i don't feel
comfortable just putting that on a card and giving it to fucking you know anyone at the airport no
it feels very loose you've got a lot of enemies there's nothing on there as well that says like
we'll protect this right there's just like you have to fill this out it's analog which is the
biggest vote of confidence for the information being protected it's true actually that is true
and but then it just feels like they it's like you put it into a box and that box is a
paper shredder essentially you know you know why it's i mean how many jobs to because how many
people are made like you when you go to the airport and you give them the card there's
somebody who looks at the card the first time and then they stamp it and put a number on it
and this is in new zealand then they give you the card back. And you show it to another person who tells you.
They just look at the number that's been written on the card.
Yeah.
So the second person certainly is,
they've got to be like on the very precipice of being realised as unnecessary.
Like the first person could tell you where to walk.
That's true.
But you walk to the second person
and they just tell you to keep going in the direction
that you've already been told. about that for a job i often wonder
about that when i was when i was younger i always thought that the the the ideal job was the one
that required the least mental and physical engagement you know and then the more i think
about that now i think yeah there's a lot of time in your head but you know you could come up with
some pretty good ideas yeah that's true write the lot of time in your head. But, you know, you could come up with some pretty good ideas. Yeah, that's true.
Write the next great novel in your head while you work.
Are you going to write a novel one day?
No, I don't think so.
Have you got a book in you?
But if I did.
They say everyone's got a book in them.
It would be Fast 12.
Wow.
Yeah.
F12.
As a book?
F12.
And the kicker is it's all done in computers.
And the F12 is like the function key, F12.
What does F12 do?
I don't know.
It's so late in the row that I think it's kind of like they ran out of ideas.
F5 is refresh, F1 is help.
F12 is like.
What does the F stand for?
Function.
Ah.
Italics.
We've run out of jobs to throw out these keys, you know?
What's italics?
Control I.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
What was your least favorite bit of the movie, this watch guy?
This fourth watch of F9.
Fourth slash ninth for us what yeah i mean it's not technically canon but we did
i think we took this in the first episode though that we did you know we we dipped in we pre-loaded
in five times yeah and the cinema the lethargy or the sort of hangover of having that many residual
viewings yeah drifting around in my consciousness,
that adds up.
That's weighing heavy.
It's a killer.
We're not halfway, but by the time we reach Edinburgh next week,
when we watch the movie,
we're going to be halfway through the first installment of our fast journey.
Oh, we're halfway there.
Yeah.
Whoa, living on a prayer.
Oh, wow.
You actually, you sung that?
You sung it well.
You were faithful to the lyrics.
I thought you were going to either bail out of the actual song or the earnest performance.
Nah, here we are.
Here we are.
Least favorite.
Least favorite. Yeah yeah come on man we just watched two hours and 20 minutes of a movie that you've seen many times before you did not enjoy
this watch either you were in pain i know you hated honestly you've really um and it was like
normally i feel like for for where you were at mentally and emotionally, I've seen you watch a lot of movies you don't like multiple times.
And normally, I think your body shuts you down when you are so not into it.
But I think it's so early in the day and we're in the living room,
there's a lot of light and you were kind of trapped into being awake.
Like normally, your body would just be like,
there's not enough
here for me i'm going to escape into the dream realm but you couldn't get there because you're
not sleepy enough it's noon right now at time of recording you know first of all you've had
your sleep i'd like to think you've had a coffee i could have slept you looked sleepy but it was
just you checking out i I was checked in.
You were paying attention.
You did the task, but you were checked out, man.
That's true.
That's fair.
That, for a lot of people, is a day at the office.
Yeah.
And it was a day at the office for you.
I mean, you, while we were watching this, you turned to me and you said,
What we do is hard.
And I nodded vigorously like, yeah.
It was sort of within the context of doing a podcast.
And I stand by the words.
What we do is hard.
Yeah, it is.
Because you forget when you're in the first and second watch.
But we're just starting, I think, to get into the trough now
where it's like, this is tricky.
We've got to go guest on next week.
We need fresh legs.
A hundred percent.
I quite agree.
I think about every second episode, I would like us to have a guest.
Yeah.
I think that the part I disliked the most
or that I sort of hated
was it's usually something that Vin is doing.
Yeah.
It's hard when he's the star.
I mean, like, honestly, it's interesting.
The conversation about the mirror operators,
the power of that has immediately reflected
some sort of fresh energy or glory upon the film we watched.
So the intensity with which I didn't like it,
a lot of that has been removed in the intervening moments,
which is what, like, I guess we've been talking
for half an hour or something.
Check the tapes.
He's right.
So, but yeah, I mean, I suppose the part i hated the most was the the bits with um
vin diesel today which is you know quite a lot of it yeah that's not good that doesn't bode well
it's just like it's something about his acting style that oh it's just because it's because
acting style that oh it's just because it's because he's bringing a lack of humor that would work in a drama drama this ain't there's not the infrastructure to carry this as a heavy dark film
but that's the energy he's bringing to his character there's also the um same with lady
but she gets away with it like lady is an incredibly humorless character and performance as well
do you know i think michelle rodriguez is such a good and committed actor that for some reason
and i guess there's less i think there's also there's a there's a um you know there's a story
there there's a reflection of real life interpersonal dynamics within a relationship
where brought to us by the magic of the mirrors union. Yeah, well, no, I think this is by the magic
of script writing and performance
and maybe even verisimilitude within the film.
But I imagine that we will...
It's not a word I would associate with F9,
but please go on.
Oh, they got cars.
It really sells it.
I think as we track backwards,
I wouldn't be surprised to find out that Leti,
there is a lot more humour in her and that there's a lot more sparkle.
I don't think so.
And that is slowly driven out the more that her character's story arc and purpose is tethered to being in a relationship with Dominic Toreo.
But I reckon the further we get back and the further she's removed from that, the more that we might see, you know, a wicked glimpse in the eye.
I've just realized what Helen Mirren's pronunciation of Toretto reminds me of.
It's Nick Frost saying Cornetto.
Cornetto.
Cornetto in Shaun of the Dead.
I actually watched the third.
Do you want anything?
Cornetto.
Cornetto.
I just watched the third installment in the cornetto trilogy the world's
end oh yep for the first time yeah what'd you think i thought it was good it was not as funny
as the other two but it was it's the world's end the one with michael cera in it or am i thinking
of a different that's scott pilgrim verse the no no no no no no no it's like it's an apocalyptic
oh that's that's an american one right yeah it's all the guys in a house yeah
yeah yeah the world's it's a pub crawl with simon pegg and nick frost yeah like simon pegg's this
sort of loser who never grew out of his high school coolness what's that what then happens
what's the kind of there's like there's some sort of aliens or shapeshifters who are have infiltrated
this small town so it's like a take on um the body snatchers or something. Yeah, yeah. I want to go back and watch all those old films.
Well, in between screenings of 2021's Fast 9 Tim, you certainly can.
Brother, here's the thing about that.
It simply must be done.
I need to water down how much concentrated Fast and Furious there is in my film diet.
I am clogged up my guts are filled
with fast and furious so and it's not a good feeling i feel bloated and disgusting and i
need to get some good cinema fiber in there to flush it out and just dilute it a little bit
well you got it you got to do it i just just want to say that, so funnily enough,
we've been talking about planes and whatnot.
I watched this movie on a plane yesterday.
Good for you.
Brag.
And hearing us,
I was remembering that Fast 9 was in 2021.
Uh-huh.
And I remember we were watching it at the cinema
in the same way we did with Doolittle.
Yes.
And Doolittle was an offering on the plane.
Oh.
But the categorization was what drew my eye yeah because it used to be like you could watch classics
and action and stuff and they've sort of changed the way that they present them to you and so it's
like crack up comedies rom-com or whatever and then you get into sort of categorization by continent
or country and there was a list for europe films. And the top offerings in European films are
Argo, Questionable, Beetlejuice,
Couples Retreat, a Vince Vaughn film,
Blue Crush, a surfing movie,
funnily enough, with Michelle Rodriguez.
Set in Australia, from memory?
Hawaii.
Oh, my bad.
Both not Europe.
The Europe of America.
Yeah, yeah.
Doolittle, Godzilla vs Kong and Bullet Train.
What the fuck are they doing over there?
Is this Air New Zealand?
This was Air New Zealand.
Air New Zealand, sort it out, guys.
We were far away enough that, you know, like we're in New Zealand.
What do they know about Europe?
Like, well, none of these are from here.
My God. Hey, well, speaking of planes, we've got to land this one do they know about Europe? Like, well, none of these are from here. My God.
Hey, well, speaking of planes, we've got to land this one, brother.
Do we?
Yeah, we absolutely do.
We simply must.
Do you have any conversational gambits that you want to cross off before we do that?
Nothing comes to mind.
I mean, there's so much that could be said about F9.
The, fuck, what is it?
The Fast Saga.
That's how this movie is described by its, this is how it self-identifies the saga credits
is it just called the saga no no no the fact i think it's the i think it's f9 semicolon
the fast saga all right that's a weird name for a movie man um that's all i gotta say i've said
my piece let's move on you mentioned you're shining light to me in the hopes that i would help
you remember it and it was something to do i know what it was go ahead
um so we're right at the start of the movie we're in monte quinto which i believe is played in the
film by thailand by the way yeah shout out thailand great performance the bridge has been taken out by who's in that car roman it's the
it's the thruple yeah okay roman and tish roman tish and ramsay ramsay in that car and they
they've managed to ride the bridge as it's being destroyed in real time they're staying just on
top of it it's a real looney tunes moment down to the sound effect and the swinging sign a ludicrous
way to get across the bridge you might say um so then they do it and then all that's there so we've got missile strikes happening from
these fighter jets from the monte quinto military which we've got to get into the concept of monte
quinto one of these days not for today we simply don't have the time but uh so we've got um dominic and um uh michelle rodriguez lady in the car and
they're out of options they've got to cross this ravine to get out of the border of monte quinto
get out of these these this missile strike and dominic has made a decision in his head to use
the tiny bit of like metal suspension left of the suspension bridge to slingshot his way around and just
fling the car across this ravine.
So he starts juicing it, pedal to the metal, reverse those.
No, that's right.
Pedal to the metal.
I don't know.
Look, his foot's to the floor.
He's going quick.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think it's pedal to the metal because you push the pedal down to the middle of the chassis i guess there
we go that's good okay so and we're doing that and then lady goes no no no no no and he and my
shining light is vin diesel goes and then he hits the nos and smashes the car into the middle and
you know what but that i like i like that you've found light in the the darkness
that is his humorless performance i know this is pathetic but i'm really stoked i remembered it
oh it's right at the start of the movie over two hours ago i'm sure that everyone's going ballistic
um mine is the the method of death that han delivers to one of the he's
actually he's a somewhat featured henchman it's during uh the rolling sort of um climactic battle
scene in tiboli in georgia and uh i want to say he's french i don't know why but yeah i think so
too there's a he is french him and Mia the Toretto sister
they climb into this car
he has a line doesn't he
and it's subtitled
so I think maybe
what he says sounds French
and they're fighting off
the henchman in the car
she's fighting the driver
they're trying to save Al
the key to the device
and
Han's daughter
he
adopted
but yeah
oh yeah sorry you're right
spiritual daughter
he's
there's a
this sort of French henchman and they're fighting and daughter he's um there's a sort of french
henchman and they're they're fighting and then he's like um it's not really getting
you there's a magnet in that thing as well and then han like uh somehow throws like it's either
a grenade or a landmine it's a twist grenade yeah it's a twist grenade or something he throws it
onto the guy's chest and he's hard up against the back of the the truck and he's like you'll
kill us like an egg timer yeah exactly and he's hard up against the back of the truck. And he's like, you'll kill us. It's like an egg timer. Yeah, yeah.
Like you twist it like an egg timer.
And he's hard up against the back of this sort of like,
you know, army truck style thing.
So he's being, sorry, just for context.
Paint the picture, please.
So he's got this like contraption on his back,
which turns out to be sort of a parachute,
but it's got metal in it.
So he's being pinned to the back of the truck
because the electromagnet's holding him in place
along with the car
and they're sort of all fighting around
this magnetic force that keeps
going on and off
and Han, he's pinned up against it
and Han takes this explosive egg timer
and throws it, which is also
PSP magnetic, sort of sticks to him
and the guy says, you'll kill us all
and then Han says
not all of us and he there's a release
button or something he's a levy he opens the back of the door and i guess you know in a different
film maybe the guy would remain magnetized to the magnet which is on the actual flap of the door
good point but the parachute catches the way that's right and he gets pulled like it's a really sick
way to just take care of someone he gets pulled out of the back of the um the army truck and he's like drift at the parachute catches and he's like drifting in the air like
sort of 20 meters above traffic and 20 meters behind the truck and then it just explodes and
it's like fuck he dealt with that guy that guy's gone and i thought i just thought it was cool
there's some moments of action that do still strike me as cool you know out of context
or like you know it's like you're coming in and out and you see it and you're like oh that's you
know i can see where they came from with that that was a satisfying moment in the writer's room
yeah or you know wherever this was written darts on a dartboard i think for a lot of this
had some ideas threw some darts yeah get a movie out of it folks that's about all the time we've
got for this episode but i'd like to thank you very much for
joining us I would actually like to
do that too and I'd like to say to everyone
in Australia and New Zealand that I'm
I'm going to be on tour in
2023 and you can find
tickets if I'm coming to your town
which is pretty it's pretty high chance
at guymontgomery.co.nz
bye at guymontgomery.co.nz Bye! 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1