The Worst Idea Of All Time - 04: The Mirror Operators Union

Episode Date: January 14, 2023

The Fellaz have just watched F9 for the fourth time and they’re feeling… Not so fine. Tim wants EVs in the Fast-everse and potentially AI-self driving cars too. Guy is full of resentment and has a... hankering for a little bit more Movie Magic. The Mirror Union are not to be trifled with, nor are puppeteers. Shout out to Thailand, which portrays Montequinto in this film.Artwork by Tomas CottleTheme song by Luke Rowellworstideaofalltime.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Hello Guy Hello Tim Welcome to the fourth episode of the sixth season of The Worst Idea of All Time With yourself, Gar Montgomery And myself, Tim Batt We're really physically close together for this record Yes, yes
Starting point is 00:00:42 We have watched F9 I want to lean back but there's not enough slack on the line. That's good context, though. It will sort of explain the intimate air and the soft, sonorous tones of our voice today as we whisper to one another our thoughts on F9, the ninth installment. I want to lean back, though. I want to be chill. Okay.
Starting point is 00:01:03 You know what I mean? And the fourth screening of the ninth installment In the Fast and the Furious franchise Because I just watched it very long It felt very long It felt like a very long movie today It is long A very long movie
Starting point is 00:01:16 Life is long Oh that's pretty good That's about as good as it's going to get Life is long and On some days Tim Fast 9 is somehow even longer Life is a highway What do days, Tim, fast nine is somehow even longer. Life is a highway. What do you want to do with it?
Starting point is 00:01:28 I want to turn it into a more pedestrian-friendly, cycle-accessible path. You want to pedestrianize life. Yeah, I do. Call me crazy. I just think it's a better way to go. And then do you want to walk it all night long? Yeah, I do. Or cycle.
Starting point is 00:01:43 Take an e-bike out there. You do? You e-bike? I got an e-bike. I bought a second-hand e-bike and it rips. How's that going? Yeah, I love it.
Starting point is 00:01:52 It's no... How many Fast and the Furious movies do you think there needs to be until they get to a point where they're like, A, we're out of other vehicles and B, it's like socially acceptable now for tough guys to be on e-bikes? Fast 26? for tough guys to be on e-bikes
Starting point is 00:02:05 as soon as 26 i think they'll be on e-bikes before they'll be in e-cars nah the evs probably that'll that's a good thing to do for 10 i think fast 10 is like you know 10 such a significant number you want to have a um a real mood shift it's about the future it's like guess what we're in fucking souped up teslas now and so and and uh chalice there on has taken over the ai self-driving thing and so now there's it's like all the cars are driving at dominic teredo and he's the one guy who didn't trust self-driving cars so he's still in like a beat up stick shift charger and all the teslas are like boxing him in on the highway it'd be a good scene it's like the um reverse of his control of the magnets in this yeah yeah exactly with the magnets there's this
Starting point is 00:02:56 beautiful scene where all the cars are kind of being hurled at um this big truck that's careening down a georgian main thoroughfare. And do you know the crazy thing about it? Yeah. It's less interesting than it sounds. It was exciting the first time we watched it. And it's impressive filmmaking, I think. I actually think it looks pretty good.
Starting point is 00:03:17 But maybe you don't agree. We're different people. It's not that I don't think it looks good. It's that... You feel nothing. Yeah. These, these, these movies, unsurprisingly, most movies, as it turns out, are not made to withstand this level of scrutiny or just general rewatching, especially blockbuster action films. action films tom cruise's films are probably the exception in the knowledge that those are all of the action sequences are filmed for real and so there is a genuine intrigue and risk and like an
Starting point is 00:03:54 excitement to revisit them but when you know all of it is cgi'd yeah it removes a certain level of investment i think like that this is what i noticed today tim is it's really lacking a certain movie magic this flashback scenes have got it in spades even those they've got a lovely grade they've got a sort of it's all they all feel like they're set in golden hour even when you know he's in prison yeah you feel like the sun is setting in a way that is not scary on the prison in a way that's like oh it's nice light in here right now. Yeah, I want to be at the beach. I feel like I am at the beach.
Starting point is 00:04:28 But, you know, it's not to deny that the action sequences are big. But big doesn't necessarily mean good. Well, it's a good one-time thing. And I think this is the problem with what we've decided to do. The action movies are made to be consumed once, maybe twice if you're into it, but once you've seen all the set pieces and you know all the twists, there's not a lot for you to do
Starting point is 00:04:53 while you're just sitting there watching two hours and 20 minutes of Vin Diesel. I'm thinking back to the first time. The twist in this movie, the bait that's on the hook, the carrot that's on the stick, the thing that keeps you invested the first time you see it is the twists and turns of john senior and vin diesel's relationship as brothers dominic and jacob and the sort of whodunit nature of how complicit is jacob in the death of their father mr teredo and once you know how that all plays out like i remember
Starting point is 00:05:23 the first time when they're like, he did it and you're like, oh shit. And then they're like, but it was under, you know, there were extenuating circumstances and he was just trying to do something that it was right by the family and other circumstance intervened and kill
Starting point is 00:05:36 the dead. And you go, oh man, this is complex. And then you sort of want them to get along. Yeah. You're like, whoa,
Starting point is 00:05:43 Dominic's got a brother. Whoa, he's evil. Whoa. Maybe he's not dominic's got a brother whoa he's evil whoa maybe he's not that's right whoa he is yeah whoa he's redeemed himself yeah and then whoa jason statham's in the credit sequence which i forgot about yeah smashing up some guy in a boxing bag jason statham. Statham. Sort of Helen Mirren doing Jason Statham. Dominic Toretto. Do Statham. Jason Statham. Jason Statham.
Starting point is 00:06:12 Jason Statham. Jason Statham. He can't do a TH, though. It's Statham, surely. He's got the same... Jason Statham. He's in the same vocal range as Vin Diesel, just with a different upbringing. Vin Diesel.
Starting point is 00:06:24 No, he's high it's interesting because it is gravely but it's like a higher version of gravely jason statham it's yeah where is it it's like the back of the throat but sort of higher vin diesel is just he's kind of like he's down on your collarbone jason say jason say them so well for like you know him and vin have both arguably been narrow cast, except he gets to play the same character in a wide variety of movies, whereas Vin Diesel literally plays
Starting point is 00:06:52 the same character in one franchise. And why? Because of what we talked about in the last episode with Paul F. Tompkins. Jason Statham has humour. He has a sense of humour. He has charisma. He can do comedy.
Starting point is 00:07:04 He can play the light and the shade. He has something sense of humour. He has charisma. He can do comedy. He can play the light and the shade. He has something called it. He's got it. I don't know what it is, but he's got it. That's right. He does have it. Jason Statham, I think, he's great. Have you seen the Crank movies?
Starting point is 00:07:20 I saw the first one, yeah. Oh, man. He's got to maintain a certain amount he's got to maintain a certain amount of adrenaline to stay alive that's right because he's sort of been poisoned a bit and then in the second one he still has to have the same amount of adrenaline to stay alive what is the twist i feel they changed it a little bit but i can't remember exactly the ways in which he maintains the level of adrenaline would be one of the main things you'd change. I feel like they ramped it up in the Sigma, but I can't remember how.
Starting point is 00:07:47 It's a different wave. He keeps electrocuting himself. Does he have to juice up a battery or something that's inside him? That would be kind of cool. You have to get lightly electrocuted every two hours to stay alive. That would be cool for one, or that would be a cool thing for a movie. For a movie.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Not for one. This was a real throwback screening for me in that I resented everything and everyone. Yeah. And you fall under the umbrella of things I resented for the two and a half hours we were watching Fast 9. That makes me feel nostalgic. I kind of like that. Okay. I didn't.
Starting point is 00:08:21 It makes me resent the characters for repeating the same decisions. I was actually willing, Ramsey, Tej and Roman, into exploring the interpersonal dynamics of their relationship. to be a semi-functioning professional friendship into some sort of thruple. There is the insinuation, I feel, and I might be wrong, of some sort of sexual chemistry. Never referred to on screen or never really opened up. Never realised. Particularly between Tej or Ludacris and Ramsay, the actor's name that I don't know. And I thought, well, that's a bit boring, that's a bit
Starting point is 00:09:08 staid and old hat and I thought well how could we enliven this and I thought well what if what if we had yeah what's the twist? A throuple yeah what's three times three what's three squared? Nine what if we had these three guys fucking each other nine times
Starting point is 00:09:23 you know what I'm saying anyway three throuples three throuples What if we had these three guys fucking each other nine times? Oh, you know what I'm saying anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Three throuples. But I just really will. Yeah, three throuples. Some siblings. It's F9.
Starting point is 00:09:34 F'd up. That's the subtitle. Family nine. But just, you know, it's old territory, but just wanting different decisions to be made within the same setting to watch slightly divergent outcomes. And did they do it? No, they didn't do it. Did they do exactly the same setting to watch slightly divergent outcomes. And did they do it? No, they didn't do it. Did they do exactly the same thing they did last week?
Starting point is 00:09:49 They did. That's what they did. And did we? Also, yes. We watched the damn thing. That's right. And I do, you know, I like that we're back in the old school. Oh, you like this? The repeats, no phone.
Starting point is 00:10:01 It's like we're doing it for real. We watched it on a TV, you know. This is good. This feels it for real. We watch it on a TV. This is good. This feels right to me. In the spirit of that familiarity. I hated it and this feels right to me therefore. Did you observe any extras? Like, you know, I guess that is probably later terrain that we might not even reach with.
Starting point is 00:10:22 But, you know, I feel as though the first street racing scene when i notice oh sorry you or the flashback scene where vinnie bennett's vin diesel so like a young dominic torredo's released from prison and he has a street race with jacob um there's that's a big set piece with a lot of extras and quite a lot of fun exploration to take place sort of i would say about that you get the feeling there's a lot of extras i think if we started drilling into how that works they've got about seven people on a bunch of mirrors no i don't think it's a i don't think they've actually got a lot of extra if you look at actually how they're shooting and stuff i don't think they've got that many people i. I love... They just crowd them around. I love the idea of these high-budget films running at, you know, like the obscure corners in which they run out of budget.
Starting point is 00:11:13 Yeah. Like, you know, because so clearly no expense has been spared for so much of this. But then to find out that, like, that was the last one they had to shoot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're out. They couldn't scrounge together enough money for a bunch of people from Star Now
Starting point is 00:11:25 or wherever you find your extras. But I mean, what do you think costs more? Like to buy, to hire 10 more extras, what's the better value proposition? To hire 10 more extras for a scene or to buy or rent 10 large mirrors and mirror operators, I guess. It's tricky because you've got to be careful with those
Starting point is 00:11:46 mirrors you got to make it not too obvious hey yeah like the people who are running the mirrors surely those are more specialized skilled technicians than just extras yeah they cost a bit it's like getting a really good puppeteer you would think that anyone could you know put their hand up a puppet and make a puppet come to life anyone could point a mirror somewhere no you couldn't be more wrong to do it at the level that is required to get away with it in a hollywood movie you need the best mirror operators out there and they're not cheap i would never think and they're unionized are they well yeah of course the mirror guys the mirror guys they're like a famously dogged union just before we get get back onto them i just want to say i would never assume um that anyone could operate a puppet even the simple really hand up the ass child's puppet i
Starting point is 00:12:29 think um puppeteers are remarkably skilled practitioners and that that is something that you know would require a lot of outlay and concentration i'd be fascinated to know if any puppeteers listen to this podcast i know one puppeteer do you yep sarah sarah thompson what's the call what do you mean good value as a person yeah she rocks she always banging on about puppets no she just she's she does so many things she's um i don't know her as a puppeteer she's an actor she used to run bfm yeah um she's puppeteer from their kids show I forgot the name of it there's it's a good show though mo the mo show yeah yeah I remember the motion here on there Wow yeah it's funny with these little skills that actors have to pick up you know to make ends meet that's it well and if
Starting point is 00:13:19 the if they're like able to they often get it in sort of adjacent fields to acting so you know like puppeteering and stuff that's cool you know what it's like the same thing as um acting where it's like if it's not if you're not breaking it big then you wind up working in subsidiary avenues of acting like you'd be performing in ads you know which i've done of course and then you know you wind up puppeteering and ads and then it like, not only are you not doing exactly the thing you want, but you're doing it through a... You're like, this isn't what I imagined. No, a gig's a gig.
Starting point is 00:13:52 It's great stuff. You're entertaining people. I agree. When the money comes in, Tim, a gig is a gig. Do you think... But when you're performing the job, a gig is not a gig. Do you think...
Starting point is 00:14:03 There's a sliding scale of enjoyment. Is there a difference between an actor and a mirror actor? Do you have Do you think a... There's a sliding scale of enjoyment. Is there a difference between an actor and a mirror actor? Do you have to have such a symmetrical face to get away with it? Or do you actually want somebody who doesn't have such a symmetrical face? This is a whole other avenue of expense. So you're saying not only do you have to hire the mirror technicians who are unionised and the mirrors,
Starting point is 00:14:20 but it changes the range and sort of style of actor I'm asking the question Well, I mean, all of a sudden we've gone from I'm positing that you do probably need You know Because we watched the whole credits This was a big, yeah There's a lot of people involved
Starting point is 00:14:36 Yeah There was a thing on TikTok, I think At TikTok of people freaking out when they reverse switch their face. It would sort of become slightly horrifying for them, a little bit of uncanny valley situation. And it's sort of, it's like, you know, if you accidentally put someone on screen whose face looks real fucked up when you mirrorize it,
Starting point is 00:15:00 that's no good. So you've got to get these special actors. But this is what is interesting to me. So they've run out of budget so we've blown up too many cars we've sent too many people to space
Starting point is 00:15:09 you're very hung up on the budget I don't know if that's the reason maybe it's easier to wrangle seven people and three mirrors
Starting point is 00:15:15 rather than 21 extras one of the big things in films is you don't want to see the cat unless there's a documentary in which case even then you don't want that
Starting point is 00:15:22 because it punctures the world there's so much that goes into not getting any of the crew if you've got seven actors and however many mirrors and you're trying to represent sort of 60 to 100 people if you did it right though what would happen is you could show because you wouldn't be seeing the exact same angle repeated so it's kind of like so here's what you'd see. Seven fronts of these actors. And then if you do the mirrors right, you're sort of seeing like another seven backs. So you wouldn't put it together in your head.
Starting point is 00:15:51 Also then, because I imagine that we would recognize the outfits as one, you'd also have to have a wardrobe department who stitch together different front and back costumes. Very doable. You've got to have a whole outfit anyway. Why not just split the panels and the colors three ways this should be the leading feature of what is discussed about the film i mean when people talk about movie magic this is what they're referring to this is the thing this is why this is so exciting this is literal movie magic like cgi you know you can recreate people you can fill out a crowd using a computer yeah but to successfully create a scene
Starting point is 00:16:25 full of extras using seven people your mirror unions your wardrobe experts who i suppose are probably in cahoots with the mirror unions they work together closely on a lot of absolutely used to each other yeah you know i mean who who's governance who's what producer who's who is like this is how we're pursuing you're not going to like the answer to this go ahead no i don't know i don't know what is even your question what producer brought well like it's just it's just such it's such a um stylistic you know departure from how the rest of the film is made. You just think that because you see what you see on screen, you never kind of like take it apart in your head.
Starting point is 00:17:11 And you do? There's an extra, there's an extra, there's an extra. But in fact, you've only seen one extra and three mirrors. What? Is every extra in this movie a mirror? No, I'm just saying if you see like three people, you might be looking at three people, you might be looking at one person and some very talented unionized mirror operators what's it i mean what are the odds what's the likelihood in this movie pretty high because
Starting point is 00:17:33 there's not that many extras it's just easy to wrangle you've you deal with so many cars all the time and vin diesel and he's got a whole fucking entourage so it's like there's so many people personalities egos legal wranglings to make sure that a punch doesn't look so it's like there's so many people personalities egos legal wranglings to make sure that a punch doesn't look like it's actually landed too hard on vin diesel so his fucking representation gets on board to pull the pin on that day's shooting and you've got to fucking re-script a goddamn fight scene with him um you've got a lot to worry about so you want as few extras as possible really so you can just have a first ad one unit that's it and he's looking after the mirror operators and seven people what's the
Starting point is 00:18:11 fucking like three different units what's the situation if um they nail a fight scene you know there's one extra rendered seven times but also you're picking up a boom and you know the corner of a camera and frame for the fight scene like why would that happen well because you know obviously even if you get the best guys on every single part of the job errors are going to be made these these mirrors just introduce such a no you take multiple takes in the same way that you know you could you could see a boom with a you know a camera operator who was not good at their job these are the best in the biz these guys are good yeah they've been working for a long time getting as good as they are these mirror operators you've you the the very idea that this is part of you know that i'm
Starting point is 00:18:56 genuinely entertaining in my head is it's actually elevated my viewing experience you start thinking about it as well you know what it also cuts down on? Number of cars they need to have in this. Because you think you're seeing two cars. No, no, no. There's no cars around mirrors. There might be. Because there's a lot of background cars in this movie as well.
Starting point is 00:19:14 So if instead of having to wrangle, think about it, man. You've got to rent 10 cars and 10 drivers. Or five cars, five drivers. And one or two maybe really good mirror operators who i assume are also in cars yeah they probably wouldn't need to be so maybe you boost it up maybe instead of like 20 background cars and drivers you've got like 10 and then two mirror operators and that makes it you know you're saving money then in the production you say are they stunt drivers as well yeah to an extent are they slashies are
Starting point is 00:19:46 they like stunt slash mirror like mirror drivers i think it's a specialized kind of being a mirror operator right it's sort of i i feel as though at this point those cars are approaching some james bond technology where they would read as invisible you know that's silly. I don't deserve that. I do not deserve this kind of treatment. The James Bond invisible car, that was a different idea where it had cameras on the back and then the front had a projector that would project what was being seen onto the front, which is actually a pretty good way of dealing with the invisibility idea. That's how you do it.
Starting point is 00:20:29 That's how I do it. Your brain functions in a way that I actually sometimes can't delineate the line where you are willing to suspend your disbelief and go along with some sort of ludicrous technical imagining or creation in a film and you're like, yeah, I can see how they've gotten on that train of thought and you're willing to believe it. And other times where your brain interferes and says, that's fucking stupid.
Starting point is 00:20:53 Yeah, it's confusing. Like, because I was thinking during this movie, I was trying to cast us or cast you inside of the film. I was thinking, which of the Fast and the Furious crew are you? Ramsey, surely. Yeah, and Ramsey was where I got to because she's always pulling out little doodackies, like little flip open.
Starting point is 00:21:09 You're Roman. Am I? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, absolutely. I think you're Roman. He's awesome. He's demonstrably the stupidest one. He's the funniest guy there.
Starting point is 00:21:20 He's not that stupid. He managed to fly a car and he worked out that ludacris's necklace was not in fact silver because silver is not ferrous that is actually um it's attracted to the metal to the magnet it's possible he knows that but that read is a slightly unrealistic moment to me today it stuck out to me too i was like that guy doesn't know that but how would you know that what do you mean how would you how would he know that? What do you mean? How would he know that? Because people know things. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:21:47 I don't know. I don't know anything. I reckon you'd know that about silver, though. You'd know that it's not magnetic. How would I know that? I don't know. So we're Ramsey and Roman. I reckon.
Starting point is 00:21:59 Which means we're two parts of the thruple. That's right. Who is our Tej? I guess so far it would have to be paul he's the only guy he's the only other guy we've asked into the dojo yeah that's pretty good not a bad throuple no no no conversation certainly keeps things moving keeps things interesting yeah it would be it'd be good uh who else could you be i could see you as um it's interesting because when there's shades of otto but you know it's not the complete package i think you're a mix of of probably otto and roman but 65 roman 35 otto i don't mind that. Actually, I'm going to go 60-40 because I think you cut a closer physical figure to Otto.
Starting point is 00:22:50 Oh, wow. You're slender. You look great in a suit. I think Roman would be- Do you think I look good in a suit? Yeah. I don't wear suits that often, you know. You wore it for the spelling bee.
Starting point is 00:23:00 I've seen you at weddings. Yeah, you have. You have seen me at weddings. It happens. Yeah. And you look great. Yeah, you have. You have seen me at weddings. It happens. Yeah. And you look great. Oh, thank you. Slender gents such as ourselves, we're lucky in that respect.
Starting point is 00:23:10 Whenever I wear a suit, I always think it's crazy to me that people put this on, like to go and send emails. You know? But it's a big part of the performance. It's like, I've got to do this to go and... It is a performance, isn't it? It's a fucking rort. Fill out a subject line.
Starting point is 00:23:27 That was such a big thing. I remember when I left my office job and started working in radio and just the feeling of not having to wear formal dress wear to go to work was such a big thing. Mentally, it was like, this is a whole other ballgame. And people have to put on this restrictive stupid shirt. People fly in these outfits.
Starting point is 00:23:51 I think you get used to it, but sadly, I think it's a meeting together of your, you kind of get used to wearing it. There's a getting in the bathtub kind of a thing. You get used to the water, but also I think a bit of your soul dies when you wear a suit for long enough, and that's part of the acclimation to it.
Starting point is 00:24:08 Do you know what I like about suits? The inside pockets. Really good. I still like that. Have you ever worn one that's got an inside pocket at the bottom? Yeah. That's pretty good, eh? What do you put in there?
Starting point is 00:24:18 Because it's got to be quite light. I don't know. I bought sort of a jacket. It's like a... Blazer? It's sort of like a... The most... No, it's not a blazer it's sort of like a the the most no it's not a blazer it's not formal it's like a french painter's jacket is kind of the it's not for it's not french and it's not for painting but you know it's that's the sort of that's in my head the description of the jacket and it's got i've been trapped i've traveled in it and it's got like a
Starting point is 00:24:39 pocket on the inside and it's like the perfect pocket you can put your passport in there and you're gonna fill out that paper form when you're going to a different country and it's like the perfect pocket you can put your passport in there and you've got to fill out that paper form when you're going to a different country and it's always too big for any of your other pockets and it gets rumpled and crumpled I put that in the passport
Starting point is 00:24:50 I put the passport with the paper in the pocket I put the pen in the pocket and I just like this is living that is how I feel
Starting point is 00:24:58 and I honestly I feel like the smartest motherfucker on the plane when I like take it out and I start flinging it I'm like I got all my shit in here you know I don't need to be getting up and getting my bag out from
Starting point is 00:25:07 above the oh god that shits me yeah i don't even have to put it in the pocket the plane pocket because it's in the the pandas pocket oh heaven good and that you know i mean that people in suits it's different because the pockets are slimmer and trimmer and i don't know that they can fit the big bit of card and also you can put it you shouldn't fold it up the declaration form you shouldn't fold it up brother let me tell you about that declaration form they throw those away i know i do not understand why we're doing those it's crazy you go into it because i think it was in the news like just pre-pandemic or something and someone figured out and then it was think it was in the news, like just pre-pandemic or something, and someone figured out, and then it was like, these fuckers are just throwing these away as soon as they get.
Starting point is 00:25:49 They're not for anything. No, they look at them though. You put the declaration on, you tick all the boxes that say, I'm not carrying $20,000 cash on me. You're not bringing in food. I don't have tobacco. You say, this is what my email address is. This is my phone number.
Starting point is 00:26:02 This is where I live. And first off, i don't feel comfortable just putting that on a card and giving it to fucking you know anyone at the airport no it feels very loose you've got a lot of enemies there's nothing on there as well that says like we'll protect this right there's just like you have to fill this out it's analog which is the biggest vote of confidence for the information being protected it's true actually that is true and but then it just feels like they it's like you put it into a box and that box is a paper shredder essentially you know you know why it's i mean how many jobs to because how many
Starting point is 00:26:33 people are made like you when you go to the airport and you give them the card there's somebody who looks at the card the first time and then they stamp it and put a number on it and this is in new zealand then they give you the card back. And you show it to another person who tells you. They just look at the number that's been written on the card. Yeah. So the second person certainly is, they've got to be like on the very precipice of being realised as unnecessary. Like the first person could tell you where to walk.
Starting point is 00:27:00 That's true. But you walk to the second person and they just tell you to keep going in the direction that you've already been told. about that for a job i often wonder about that when i was when i was younger i always thought that the the the ideal job was the one that required the least mental and physical engagement you know and then the more i think about that now i think yeah there's a lot of time in your head but you know you could come up with some pretty good ideas yeah that's true write the lot of time in your head. But, you know, you could come up with some pretty good ideas. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:27:25 Write the next great novel in your head while you work. Are you going to write a novel one day? No, I don't think so. Have you got a book in you? But if I did. They say everyone's got a book in them. It would be Fast 12. Wow.
Starting point is 00:27:38 Yeah. F12. As a book? F12. And the kicker is it's all done in computers. And the F12 is like the function key, F12. What does F12 do? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:27:49 It's so late in the row that I think it's kind of like they ran out of ideas. F5 is refresh, F1 is help. F12 is like. What does the F stand for? Function. Ah. Italics. We've run out of jobs to throw out these keys, you know?
Starting point is 00:28:12 What's italics? Control I. You got it. You got it. You got it. What was your least favorite bit of the movie, this watch guy? This fourth watch of F9. Fourth slash ninth for us what yeah i mean it's not technically canon but we did
Starting point is 00:28:29 i think we took this in the first episode though that we did you know we we dipped in we pre-loaded in five times yeah and the cinema the lethargy or the sort of hangover of having that many residual viewings yeah drifting around in my consciousness, that adds up. That's weighing heavy. It's a killer. We're not halfway, but by the time we reach Edinburgh next week, when we watch the movie,
Starting point is 00:29:01 we're going to be halfway through the first installment of our fast journey. Oh, we're halfway there. Yeah. Whoa, living on a prayer. Oh, wow. You actually, you sung that? You sung it well. You were faithful to the lyrics.
Starting point is 00:29:18 I thought you were going to either bail out of the actual song or the earnest performance. Nah, here we are. Here we are. Least favorite. Least favorite. Yeah yeah come on man we just watched two hours and 20 minutes of a movie that you've seen many times before you did not enjoy this watch either you were in pain i know you hated honestly you've really um and it was like normally i feel like for for where you were at mentally and emotionally, I've seen you watch a lot of movies you don't like multiple times. And normally, I think your body shuts you down when you are so not into it.
Starting point is 00:29:53 But I think it's so early in the day and we're in the living room, there's a lot of light and you were kind of trapped into being awake. Like normally, your body would just be like, there's not enough here for me i'm going to escape into the dream realm but you couldn't get there because you're not sleepy enough it's noon right now at time of recording you know first of all you've had your sleep i'd like to think you've had a coffee i could have slept you looked sleepy but it was just you checking out i I was checked in.
Starting point is 00:30:26 You were paying attention. You did the task, but you were checked out, man. That's true. That's fair. That, for a lot of people, is a day at the office. Yeah. And it was a day at the office for you. I mean, you, while we were watching this, you turned to me and you said,
Starting point is 00:30:40 What we do is hard. And I nodded vigorously like, yeah. It was sort of within the context of doing a podcast. And I stand by the words. What we do is hard. Yeah, it is. Because you forget when you're in the first and second watch. But we're just starting, I think, to get into the trough now
Starting point is 00:31:06 where it's like, this is tricky. We've got to go guest on next week. We need fresh legs. A hundred percent. I quite agree. I think about every second episode, I would like us to have a guest. Yeah. I think that the part I disliked the most
Starting point is 00:31:23 or that I sort of hated was it's usually something that Vin is doing. Yeah. It's hard when he's the star. I mean, like, honestly, it's interesting. The conversation about the mirror operators, the power of that has immediately reflected some sort of fresh energy or glory upon the film we watched.
Starting point is 00:31:49 So the intensity with which I didn't like it, a lot of that has been removed in the intervening moments, which is what, like, I guess we've been talking for half an hour or something. Check the tapes. He's right. So, but yeah, I mean, I suppose the part i hated the most was the the bits with um vin diesel today which is you know quite a lot of it yeah that's not good that doesn't bode well
Starting point is 00:32:16 it's just like it's something about his acting style that oh it's just because it's because acting style that oh it's just because it's because he's bringing a lack of humor that would work in a drama drama this ain't there's not the infrastructure to carry this as a heavy dark film but that's the energy he's bringing to his character there's also the um same with lady but she gets away with it like lady is an incredibly humorless character and performance as well do you know i think michelle rodriguez is such a good and committed actor that for some reason and i guess there's less i think there's also there's a there's a um you know there's a story there there's a reflection of real life interpersonal dynamics within a relationship where brought to us by the magic of the mirrors union. Yeah, well, no, I think this is by the magic
Starting point is 00:33:07 of script writing and performance and maybe even verisimilitude within the film. But I imagine that we will... It's not a word I would associate with F9, but please go on. Oh, they got cars. It really sells it. I think as we track backwards,
Starting point is 00:33:21 I wouldn't be surprised to find out that Leti, there is a lot more humour in her and that there's a lot more sparkle. I don't think so. And that is slowly driven out the more that her character's story arc and purpose is tethered to being in a relationship with Dominic Toreo. But I reckon the further we get back and the further she's removed from that, the more that we might see, you know, a wicked glimpse in the eye. I've just realized what Helen Mirren's pronunciation of Toretto reminds me of. It's Nick Frost saying Cornetto. Cornetto.
Starting point is 00:33:56 Cornetto in Shaun of the Dead. I actually watched the third. Do you want anything? Cornetto. Cornetto. I just watched the third installment in the cornetto trilogy the world's end oh yep for the first time yeah what'd you think i thought it was good it was not as funny as the other two but it was it's the world's end the one with michael cera in it or am i thinking
Starting point is 00:34:15 of a different that's scott pilgrim verse the no no no no no no no it's like it's an apocalyptic oh that's that's an american one right yeah it's all the guys in a house yeah yeah yeah the world's it's a pub crawl with simon pegg and nick frost yeah like simon pegg's this sort of loser who never grew out of his high school coolness what's that what then happens what's the kind of there's like there's some sort of aliens or shapeshifters who are have infiltrated this small town so it's like a take on um the body snatchers or something. Yeah, yeah. I want to go back and watch all those old films. Well, in between screenings of 2021's Fast 9 Tim, you certainly can. Brother, here's the thing about that.
Starting point is 00:34:54 It simply must be done. I need to water down how much concentrated Fast and Furious there is in my film diet. I am clogged up my guts are filled with fast and furious so and it's not a good feeling i feel bloated and disgusting and i need to get some good cinema fiber in there to flush it out and just dilute it a little bit well you got it you got to do it i just just want to say that, so funnily enough, we've been talking about planes and whatnot. I watched this movie on a plane yesterday.
Starting point is 00:35:28 Good for you. Brag. And hearing us, I was remembering that Fast 9 was in 2021. Uh-huh. And I remember we were watching it at the cinema in the same way we did with Doolittle. Yes.
Starting point is 00:35:42 And Doolittle was an offering on the plane. Oh. But the categorization was what drew my eye yeah because it used to be like you could watch classics and action and stuff and they've sort of changed the way that they present them to you and so it's like crack up comedies rom-com or whatever and then you get into sort of categorization by continent or country and there was a list for europe films. And the top offerings in European films are Argo, Questionable, Beetlejuice, Couples Retreat, a Vince Vaughn film,
Starting point is 00:36:18 Blue Crush, a surfing movie, funnily enough, with Michelle Rodriguez. Set in Australia, from memory? Hawaii. Oh, my bad. Both not Europe. The Europe of America. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:27 Doolittle, Godzilla vs Kong and Bullet Train. What the fuck are they doing over there? Is this Air New Zealand? This was Air New Zealand. Air New Zealand, sort it out, guys. We were far away enough that, you know, like we're in New Zealand. What do they know about Europe? Like, well, none of these are from here.
Starting point is 00:36:45 My God. Hey, well, speaking of planes, we've got to land this one do they know about Europe? Like, well, none of these are from here. My God. Hey, well, speaking of planes, we've got to land this one, brother. Do we? Yeah, we absolutely do. We simply must. Do you have any conversational gambits that you want to cross off before we do that? Nothing comes to mind. I mean, there's so much that could be said about F9.
Starting point is 00:36:58 The, fuck, what is it? The Fast Saga. That's how this movie is described by its, this is how it self-identifies the saga credits is it just called the saga no no no the fact i think it's the i think it's f9 semicolon the fast saga all right that's a weird name for a movie man um that's all i gotta say i've said my piece let's move on you mentioned you're shining light to me in the hopes that i would help you remember it and it was something to do i know what it was go ahead um so we're right at the start of the movie we're in monte quinto which i believe is played in the
Starting point is 00:37:37 film by thailand by the way yeah shout out thailand great performance the bridge has been taken out by who's in that car roman it's the it's the thruple yeah okay roman and tish roman tish and ramsay ramsay in that car and they they've managed to ride the bridge as it's being destroyed in real time they're staying just on top of it it's a real looney tunes moment down to the sound effect and the swinging sign a ludicrous way to get across the bridge you might say um so then they do it and then all that's there so we've got missile strikes happening from these fighter jets from the monte quinto military which we've got to get into the concept of monte quinto one of these days not for today we simply don't have the time but uh so we've got um dominic and um uh michelle rodriguez lady in the car and they're out of options they've got to cross this ravine to get out of the border of monte quinto
Starting point is 00:38:36 get out of these these this missile strike and dominic has made a decision in his head to use the tiny bit of like metal suspension left of the suspension bridge to slingshot his way around and just fling the car across this ravine. So he starts juicing it, pedal to the metal, reverse those. No, that's right. Pedal to the metal. I don't know. Look, his foot's to the floor.
Starting point is 00:39:02 He's going quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's pedal to the metal because you push the pedal down to the middle of the chassis i guess there we go that's good okay so and we're doing that and then lady goes no no no no no and he and my shining light is vin diesel goes and then he hits the nos and smashes the car into the middle and you know what but that i like i like that you've found light in the the darkness that is his humorless performance i know this is pathetic but i'm really stoked i remembered it oh it's right at the start of the movie over two hours ago i'm sure that everyone's going ballistic
Starting point is 00:39:40 um mine is the the method of death that han delivers to one of the he's actually he's a somewhat featured henchman it's during uh the rolling sort of um climactic battle scene in tiboli in georgia and uh i want to say he's french i don't know why but yeah i think so too there's a he is french him and Mia the Toretto sister they climb into this car he has a line doesn't he and it's subtitled so I think maybe
Starting point is 00:40:09 what he says sounds French and they're fighting off the henchman in the car she's fighting the driver they're trying to save Al the key to the device and Han's daughter
Starting point is 00:40:18 he adopted but yeah oh yeah sorry you're right spiritual daughter he's there's a this sort of French henchman and they're fighting and daughter he's um there's a sort of french
Starting point is 00:40:25 henchman and they're they're fighting and then he's like um it's not really getting you there's a magnet in that thing as well and then han like uh somehow throws like it's either a grenade or a landmine it's a twist grenade yeah it's a twist grenade or something he throws it onto the guy's chest and he's hard up against the back of the the truck and he's like you'll kill us like an egg timer yeah exactly and he's hard up against the back of the truck. And he's like, you'll kill us. It's like an egg timer. Yeah, yeah. Like you twist it like an egg timer. And he's hard up against the back of this sort of like, you know, army truck style thing.
Starting point is 00:40:49 So he's being, sorry, just for context. Paint the picture, please. So he's got this like contraption on his back, which turns out to be sort of a parachute, but it's got metal in it. So he's being pinned to the back of the truck because the electromagnet's holding him in place along with the car
Starting point is 00:41:05 and they're sort of all fighting around this magnetic force that keeps going on and off and Han, he's pinned up against it and Han takes this explosive egg timer and throws it, which is also PSP magnetic, sort of sticks to him and the guy says, you'll kill us all
Starting point is 00:41:21 and then Han says not all of us and he there's a release button or something he's a levy he opens the back of the door and i guess you know in a different film maybe the guy would remain magnetized to the magnet which is on the actual flap of the door good point but the parachute catches the way that's right and he gets pulled like it's a really sick way to just take care of someone he gets pulled out of the back of the um the army truck and he's like drift at the parachute catches and he's like drifting in the air like sort of 20 meters above traffic and 20 meters behind the truck and then it just explodes and it's like fuck he dealt with that guy that guy's gone and i thought i just thought it was cool
Starting point is 00:42:01 there's some moments of action that do still strike me as cool you know out of context or like you know it's like you're coming in and out and you see it and you're like oh that's you know i can see where they came from with that that was a satisfying moment in the writer's room yeah or you know wherever this was written darts on a dartboard i think for a lot of this had some ideas threw some darts yeah get a movie out of it folks that's about all the time we've got for this episode but i'd like to thank you very much for joining us I would actually like to do that too and I'd like to say to everyone
Starting point is 00:42:30 in Australia and New Zealand that I'm I'm going to be on tour in 2023 and you can find tickets if I'm coming to your town which is pretty it's pretty high chance at guymontgomery.co.nz bye at guymontgomery.co.nz Bye! 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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