The Worst Idea Of All Time - 06: Soles on The Soles of Her Feet
Episode Date: February 1, 2023Guy most definitely isn't tired. In fact, this is the most energetic he's ever been and F9 is the greatest movie ever made. In other news, the fellaz take a guess as to what kind of practical jokes Vi...n plays on set and Monty is dead set on seeing him have sexual relations with a car. The boiz also ponder on the Fast and Furious books exist and what Dom Torrito eats, and Tim tries to break down the Celebrity Financial Trap.twioat.substack.comArtwork by Tomas CottleTheme song by Luke Rowellworstideaofalltime.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hey 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Hey everybody, welcome to episode number 6
Season 6 of the worst idea of all time with your pals
It's your boys, it's the Frosty Fellas
Themselves, the OGs
We go by the names of Tim and Guy,
and you'll be excited to hear once more.
It is as Bill Withers sang and Will Smith later sang,
just the two of us.
Is that a Bill Withers song?
Yeah.
Didn't know that.
Sans guest, because we are strong and other people are weak we're brave we're brave boys and
this movie is so tiring oh come on it's so come on no let the people in no show a little vulnerability
why not let the people let the people out let the people bring some positivity this movie man
i'm positively exhausted by this film i'm absolutely positively having the time of my life.
It's fun.
It's funny.
Don't lie to people, man.
You almost fell asleep.
I didn't almost fall asleep.
No, you didn't.
But you looked drained.
You looked.
I was performing drained.
No, you weren't.
I was enjoying myself so much.
I thought I should learn to act So I can be in this franchise
Maximum slump in your chair
I was performing slumped
The energy had been drained from you
If we were in the Final Fantasy 7 universe
The Mako energy from your body
Had been removed
That was a trick
And you fell right into my trap
You thought I was tired
I'd never had so much energy
I was performing tiredness Because I was tired I'd never had so much energy I had so much energy
I was performing tiredness
Let me ask you this
Because I was so invigorated
By the jam packed action
And action sequences
Contained within F9
To what end were you tricking me?
Like what was the point
Of you putting on a facade?
I wanted to see if my acting
Was good enough to trick you
Into thinking I was tired
And it was
Which means I'm ready for an audition
You were testing your acting chops On me, Tim B i'm gonna be in your friend i'm gonna be an fx are you yeah
i think they might have already shot it uh uh the thing is mired in uh production issues is it
really is it because of covid i'm gonna play the role of um sleeping stakeout officer number one or number one come on i won't come on yeah come on me bro
no come on now let's all let's all just come on and call our jets a little bit here this movie
was exhausting my jets are hot the movie's invigorating i feel alive all right okay tell
me your five biggest problems with the movie number one It's just long, right?
Oh, sorry
It's two hours and 20 minutes
Two hours and 20 minutes
Things aren't allowed to be long anymore
Have you got a problem with the Nile?
Have you got a problem with the Great Wall of China?
Hi, my name's Guy Montgomery
And I ask people questions
And then attack them when they attempt to do
What I just asked them to do
Okay
It's one of my best features.
First of all, your name is Tim Bat.
I was being you.
That's how good at acting I am.
Pretty shit job.
That's how good at acting I am.
Hi, my name's Guy Montgomery and I rock the house.
Question continuing to answer.
So part two for that is, it's just, you know,
we've mentioned this, but with action movies it's
spectacle and the spectacle is in the surprise so once you've seen it you're like whoa but then
when you see the second time you're like yeah i saw that i saw that last time i can't believe
they've done it again and then on the sixth time you go and man i hope guy montgomery understands
how recorded media works and doesn't think that they're performing this stunt i just can't believe i've done it so many times for us flawlessly flawlessly pulling it off i did i will
say this the dialogue shit that's my third bit the dialogue i've written down some of the dialogue
i'd love to hear your favorite dialogue's incredible go on uh i've got a i've i know
that's on the wrong page it said bear with bear with him folks. He's got this. The military is not giving up.
We have to get past the border.
That's good dialogue.
Well,
it's telling us what's happening.
It's the exposition.
Yeah.
The military.
Yes.
Is not giving up.
Yeah.
So we have to get past the border.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's good.
You got to say that out loud rather than show it.
They are showing us and telling us.
Well, because we are, um, we are idiots. It's good. You've got to say that out loud. They are showing us and telling us. Well, because we are idiots.
That's true.
And we must be treated accordingly.
I just want to say, actually, Tim.
Yeah?
It's the energy you brought.
Four minutes into the movie, you said, this movie is so long.
Yeah, that was my first point in our list.
That's true.
So what did you get up to?
Number three, the action sequences, if you're an idiot number four number
four like um and and again sorry we have brought this up previously but it's the gosh darn truth
vin diesel is just like an exhausting energy to be around week after week as an as a performer
and dom toretto as a character is this humorless um there's just there's no no, it's a very relentlessly boring performance.
What do you think Vin Diesel's idea of a practical joke is?
Man.
You know how George Clooney's quite famous for doing pranks?
I didn't know that.
He's a bit of a prankster and he likes to have a laugh.
What do you think Vin Diesel,
say, imagine Vin Diesel pulls a prank.
I think he'd overshoot it.
Like he'd super glue someone into
their shoes and then because in his mind it's like you know i don't do this sort of thing
much but i think this would be really funny but then they they have to go to hospital and it's a
like fellow how does it how's he holds up production for a day at least and then he gets
into a big fight with justin there's legal involved how's it how's he got how did he
get him how did you super how did he super he got it off the crew man because the crew of you know
like people doing the sets and everything they've got they've got super glue is it skin on shoes you
put it on the socks is it in the shoes it's in the shoes yeah but it's like you know it fuses
through the sock because socks are through the fibers yeah so then so then you got like three
materials to do with it's rough skin on sock and then on to the shoe how would you get how would you get
someone out of those do you cut off the top of the shoe and they're just walking around with
soles on their feet sounds like a um paul simon
soles on the soles of her feet uh i don't know how you go about it because you hear about people who go to hospital
with superglue incidents i don't know the first thing about how they get them out of there some
sort of anti-adhesive i just what this has just been um sort of triggered in my mind while we're
talking about this i want to see a post-credit sequence at one point across the eight films that
we're yet to see in this franchise where um vin diesel puts his dick
in an exhaust pipe you do want to see that i want to see that so why do you want that to not be part
of the core film do you think it's a little bit of a treat i just think it's distracting and it's
probably not relative it's not like i just think it's like it's it is it feels more like a treat
it doesn't feel like a main course yeah and it you know it feels like a party trick to me when it's like what sort of pranks does he do this isn't a prank but i feel
like he's like hey do you want to see something funny and you're like okay finn imagine you're
having dinner at his house yeah do you want to see something funny yeah yeah sure thing he says
come out to the garage yeah or garage or maybe he calls it a car hole and he goes into the the
garage it's like check this out and he i just i
just think it's it's funny it makes sense it's of like it's of both the character and my limited
knowledge of the man i don't know if any of the four things you just said are true
i don't know if it's funny makes sense or it's cohesive to the character we've been introduced
to in f9 i think it's his idea of a joke.
And people would be like,
what are you doing?
And he'd be like, it's funny.
Okay, I get you.
And you're like, it's not funny,
but it's weird.
It's real weird.
No, no, it's funny.
Because my dick is in the car.
Years ago.
Yeah, we get it.
Wasn't there like a 60 minutes expose
on auto-sexuals?
People who have sex with cars.
People who are sexually attracted
to their motor vehicles that is like the audience of these movies i think so too and i i would say
some of those people would be turned off by how many other vehicles and extraneous plot points
have been introduced to the franchise now oh yeah it's like hey man i i thought we were gonna i
thought we had an agreement this was car stuff.
It's like now you're introducing submarines,
tanks,
space shuttles.
I don't want any of that.
What do you think about autosexuals,
Tim?
Do you want to yuck their yum?
I'm kind of like to each their own and I don't,
technically they're not hurting anybody.
So they could hurt themselves.
They could,
you want to make sure it cools off before you,
you know,
do anything.
But man,
like,
you know,
they're not hitting anyone.
What part of the car would you have sex with?
I don't know.
Something involving the glove box.
I'm not sure how it works.
How about you?
I like the glove box idea.
What are the,
um,
I'm being quite blue on this episode what are those uh like dildo
machine dildo bike machines called dildo but oh like it um yeah keeps it's like if you pedal the
bike it'll it'll get penetrated up and down yeah yeah i don't know what that i'm imagining like in
a flintstone style car if you run club box okay okay fair enough fair enough i mean i just think
if you're going to have post-credit sequences they can't it's just so they used to be such a
delight and now all all they are is their promotional tools i think all they are is like
and there's another movie for example jason statham in this one yeah as i call him jason
statham or as he calls himself me uh i just think i don't know i just think that there should be
some fun like i mean you know do you know shower two blooper sequence the more i'm thinking about
um bringing vin diesel being auto sexual into the franchise even as a post-credit scene the more
it is making sense to me because it's kind of it ties in with this whole thing of like
vin can't um i guess he's he's with lot it's so easy to forget they're romantically entwined
but to me it's like he's he keeps imperiling all the people closest to him so he has to shut
everyone out he can't get like i think in the next
move like say okay fast 10 lottie is killed by charlie's there on by cypher so she just keeps
taking away all these people who are important to dom and then dom is like relegated to this life
where he he he doesn't want to endanger anyone else so he just starts romantic relationships
with cars i see but then cypher starts destroying the cars.
Cars are much more vulnerable to being destroyed in this movie than people.
Yeah.
And henchmen.
Henchmen, man.
Henchmen are vulnerable.
Dime a dozen, aren't they, in this movie?
They're treated with a complete disregard for what's going on with them.
There was a really good comedic note in
austin powers you know they got the thing they got the trope from um james bond there's just
like these expendable faceless henchmen that just get shot and killed all the time it's like
they've got a family is it the first movie the second movie it's like by the steamroller and
then don't they they go to his family And it's like
The mum has to tell the kid
Or something
Like that's
That's funny
Funny movie
Yeah
That Mike Myers
Interesting fella
Very interesting fella
Not a super normal guy
No not at all
But
You don't get to make
Gold member
By thinking the same way
As everyone else.
No!
Schmuck and a pancake.
What is it?
Got me a keeper!
Oh, yuck.
That's right.
Gross.
But there you go.
A great franchise.
Did you get it into your list?
What's number five?
Oh, I think I got up to number four.
And my final reason for why F9, The Fate of the Furious,
is such a tiresome board to
get through on the sixth watch is um uh what is it like i can't even come up with one no i'm just
trying to say i'd like i know what i'm just trying to articulate it you know it's lacking
a character that i can sink my teeth into enough to carry me through and the
closest i get is otto but he's a baddie so like the movie's trying to veer me away from him but
there's no one else i can really like get fully on board with rooting for what about the um i know
that we've i've sort of done this before and i thought you were a bit of a ramsey i've just got
a big crush on you to be honest do you oh yeah you haven't told me that yeah ramsey's a she's a babe man oh my god
i had no idea of course what are you gonna do about nothing you're gonna tell her no i don't
think why not because she's not real you should tell her she doesn't exist she could like you
back you'll never find out she's not real. This movie isn't real.
We could find the actor's name.
We needn't.
We needn't.
I think that your other kindred spirit in this movie
and a character you could try to get on board with
is the Paul Walker's car.
The electric blue Nissan Skyline blue Is it a Skyline?
Nissan Skyline
Is it a Skyline?
It looks like a Skyline
It's a Skyline
The insurance on those puppies
There's a Skyline
Racing down the street
Yeah pretty good
I think it's the western
Sort of the
The guy who works with
Bow Wow
And he's Oh the Texxan dude yeah the texan guy he said you and him
seem like you could get along oh okay he's um jiffy lube that's what i refer to him as but i
don't know if he gets a real name that's his nick that's his uh you know derisive nickname from uh
i've been saying derisive oh i think you're probably right i trust you over me with that
sort of stuff really yeah yeah definitely i follow you um oh no a couple of lemmings over here about to walk off a
uh pronunciation cliff what's a lemming a lemming you know a little animal that they just follow
each other to their death are they real yeah they're real they're like they're like sea monkeys
no no they're they're like rodents, I think.
Was it a video game?
Yeah.
Based on a real animal?
Yeah, yeah.
They're real.
Hedgehogs aren't real, are they?
Hedgehogs are real.
We've got so many of them in New Zealand, you've definitely encountered hedgehogs.
They're not as quick, though.
Are all video games based on something real?
Echo.
Have you seen a dolphin before?
Because they're also real.
What about spyro
also real they're just not around anymore dragons yeah but they were here it's crazy
so who came up with dragons i this is why i think they were real they're not someone not
satisfied by dinosaurs but weren't dragons like independently lore from, for example, like ancient China and very old England?
Other people thought the same thing.
Why?
Why were we all thinking that there was this big fire-breathing, flying dinosaur style thing?
Flying scaly fire breath, yeah.
That laid eggs, you know?
Like how did independently people come up with that
that archetype of a thing were all dinosaurs born out of an egg i think so yeah because they're all
like reptilian that's great is that right no that's i don't know i don't know man yeah i think
that i don't know it feels to me like they're all born in eggs but i'm basing this on jurassic park i think we'd have to ask steven spielberg on what research he did for the
flick he's um oh he didn't even write it did he it was michael crichton he seems like a good guy
was it based on a book same guy he did west world people love writing books they love him and then
other people love turning the books into movies yes and the worst
of all people read books yeah ghastly business not cool not cool man if there definitely will
be books of the fast and furious series like novelizations we should get them there will be
books i'm gonna get you some i'm gonna get you some I think that's your birthday present this year, Guy
I love
I love the Fast franchise
I love books
I love the world
I love travel
I love food
I love
just that feeling
What do you think Dom Toretto eats?
Because we don't see him consume any food in this
Maybe he eats in other movies
but not in this one
But I feel like it's out of character to see him eat It food in this maybe he eats in other movies but not in this one but i feel like
it's out of character to see him eat it's too vulnerable yeah i think um but he must eat so
much protein to look like that i think he wants people to think he eats burgers but i think he
mostly eats soaked oats oh really i think the reason we don't see him eat is that he...
He's a little bit bashful about the tuned diet he has to keep.
Basically, when he's not on screen, he's eating muesli.
Really?
I think so.
Do you hear that cut from...
You can't stock up on that from muesli, can you?
I don't know.
Protein shakes, I think.
I reckon you're right.
He's like hammering oats and muesli
and he's on the protein shakes.
Yeah.
And he doesn't have any refined sugar.
What do we see in this movie?
You see some ramen and you see candy.
You see ramen, you see candy.
You see them preparing food at the end of the movie.
I feel like Roman's eating kind of chips or something
when they're in Mr. Nobody's lair.
Maybe not chips, something.
Oh, no.
Because when they turn the magnet on to prank him,
he's eating something out of a bowl.
I can't remember.
Roman strikes me as a guy who's still eating a lot of cereal.
He's got that sort of Peter Pan.
It's the archetype, isn't it?
Yeah.
How do you remember his name?
From the start, the mnemonic I used is that Romain Lettuce.
Like, let us see more Romain in this movie, but his name's Roman.
Do you think?
It's enough for me to make the connect.
Is that a solve for this movie?
Yes.
Let us see more Romain?
Yes.
Can you rank the characters? I don't even know if i could name them all right now who do you want to see more who do you want to see more of down
to who could use who could you use less i want to see more of han okay because like i need the
context on why all these dramatic music drops and shots of him being revealed you know like i get that he's
believed dead but but who are you bro you know like it's a mystery to solve who do you think he
is i think what okay so they talk in the flashback with um gal gadot he, we always want to go to Tokyo. If you can imagine. So let's go to Tokyo.
So surely he's like the central.
Yeah, she does.
Silly.
Surely Tokyo Drift is like his movie.
Yeah.
And then he's entered into the franchise from there.
But if.
As an in and out.
Tokyo Drift must be set in Japan.
And why.
I mean.
I understand wanting to return.
Like.
But if.
If he always wants to get there.
It would suggest that he hasn't lived there before.
Oh.
But the chronology is all fucked up.
Because doesn't.
Doesn't.
Tokyo Drift.
People who.
Know this.
And are listening.
Are going to be losing their minds. Yeah. In frustration. Well this is the setup. Isn't Tokyo Drift, people who know this and are listening are going to be losing their minds in frustration.
Well, this is the setup.
Isn't Tokyo Drift set like between one and two,
but it came out after four or something like that?
And so this flashback is set probably pre-one.
I think Tokyo Drift came out i in 2007 because uh a guy in the in university in the hostel we were in um a friend
and i we would play the teriyaki boys oh we'd play that song like we'd go into people's rooms
very early and play it on a little bluetooth speaker to wake people up yeah i wonder if you
know wonder if you're talking oh i don't know that one i was i was blasting some other teriyaki boys
those boys they got produced two things teriyaki and making music they um they were produced by
one of the beastie boys hey really yeah yeah ad rock i think um any who's
so wait a minute
2007 is when
we reckon it came out
mm-hmm
and if we think
the first one came out
in say 2002
they were tracked
it's about four
about fourth release
yeah yeah
that could be the third or fourth
plus you want to
for Tokyo Drift
because it's like
I mean even then
we don't know where it is
in the chronology
of the franchise
correct we will though one day yeah one day Tokyo Drift because it's like... I mean, even then we don't know where it is in the chronology of the franchise.
Correct.
We will though one day.
Yeah.
One day soon-ish.
Yeah.
Do you have a shining light for this watch of F9?
One day in several movies, these things will be known.
Too many syllables.
Yeah, I did actually. You did a good job with that
New guy
New fella
Just saw him
Just seen him
Just saw him
So we are
I don't know who you were talking about
We're in a flashback
And
Young Vin
Is in prison
For
Either manslaughter
Or grievous bodily harm
We don't actually know
Guy and I were debating this
We don't know
Cause it feels like
he's in jail for about a year right it does maybe longer it couldn't be longer than similar age
looking in yeah there's not a massive passage of time between when he's being processed at the
cop shop and looking at jacob when he appears again how old how old and what's the what's the
um what are the rules and regulations around, you know?
What state do we think they're in?
Are they in the Midwest?
We're in California.
Are they?
Oh, yeah, LA.
East LA is a hard enough place to grow up.
You did right.
You did right.
But it was your brother's shadow that turned you into this.
Hi, I'm Charlize Theron, and I want to put a pool on my second house.
So I'll see you in fast 10 uh
do you think it's like charlie's theron needs to do a movie to put a pool in her second house or
can she just do it man i i think i might have talked about this recently but i think about this
a bit for some reason with with big hollywood stars like once you've got a career as big as
charlie's they're on you sort of it's like it consumes so much money to be in it you know what i mean like if you land a big movie what 10 goes to your
eight oh jesus 10 goes to your agent we're getting too close to the truth five or ten percent goes
to your manager um you know all the taxes you got to pay this and you got to do all of your
shit to like keep your shit right you know like you've got a publicist you've got personal trainers you've got dietitians you've got some crazy house
that you kind of had to get so that you can appear in magazines like it just feels like once you were
on that treadmill that's a lot do you reckon it's kind of a trap it's kind of a trap you know wow
that's how i see it i see it so visibly as a trap.
And I actually think,
and I might've said this as well in this podcast,
because this is the person who always comes into my head.
I think like Melanie Linsky and Jason Ritter
are beautiful examples of people
who like have great acting careers
and have not engaged with the trap.
They haven't gotten near the trap to fall into the trap.
And I think that's
why they're like doing it right because melanie linsky is doing great work she's such a good actor
and it feels like she's like enjoying her career she's able to enjoy her family like it's just i
feel she's crushing it she's nailing it yeah absolutely um i i mean i personally i just think that if charlie's throne wanted to put a pool and
she'd do it she didn't have to do the movie you think she's got enough kicking around money she
wanted to she wanted to do the movie yeah you gotta remain in the i reckon also like you gotta
be seen as well don't you is vin diesel going to these actors houses to recruit them no in the same
way he's recruiting people to be in his crew in the movie?
No, sir.
Is Vin Diesel emulating character elements of Dominic Toretto in his life
because he's so enamored by that role?
I'll tell you how I know this.
Because of the big falling out he had with...
Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
Yeah, he doesn't have the skills to be doing that sort of thing.
Why is that on Vin?
Why couldn't that be on Dwayne the Rock Johnson?
I'm not saying he's an infallible guy.
In fact, I think anyone who's as popular,
as universally beloved as The Rock,
you've got to be asking questions about
because that just reeks to me of a too manicured sort of persona.
What are his secrets?
I don't know.
I don't want to find out.
Make up one.
I'm not going to.
I won't engage with this scuttlebutt.
Great to hear scuttlebutt out in the wild.
But I will.
Some nice words in this episode.
I will say this.
I think that The Rock has very advanced social skills.
He has absolute charisma, absolute command to being able to get on with anyone that he needs to.
Yeah, he's read books on it.
But I think it's...
Do you know what people would say about The Rock?
I don't know if this is true.
He remembers everyone's name.
Yeah, yeah, a real Obama kind of...
Yeah, it's a very political kind of characteristic.
You've been saying for years he's gonna run for president
he's not only gonna run he's gonna
win he's gonna win and I
thought it was gonna be 24 but not
as a centrist liberal
he'll be like
he'll find out what ways the wind
is blowing at the time but he's
gotta run as a dem and he'll win
he'll wait for I think like
a lot of dust or seto on this
next one he'll jump in at um 28 but he's he's a young man he's got time you know the rock's
gonna be president though i'll put money on it and if he's not i'll eat my hat
wow he's just got the trajectory i I think, you know? What were you talking about?
Charlize Theron's pool for a little bit.
Your shining light.
Oh, my shining light.
That's right.
The guy.
The guy, yeah. So we're in prison and it's morning, we had to believe,
because the cell's all open and all of the inmates get to leave their cell
to go and do whatever it is they do for the day.
And centre of frame, you've got young Dom,
played by Altair O'Zone, Vinnie Bennett, looking great, stoic.
Being great.
Being great.
He's walking out and just in the front,
it's sort of like staggered, there's three figures leaving their cells
and he's in the middle.
He occupies the main part of the frame and he's sort of in focus but in front of him there's this
sort of bewildered looking guy with quite long hair older guy he's got a like a white t-shirt
under like a sort of his jumpsuit and he just had a look about him and the camera's on him just long
enough you think what are you in for yeah and he's he occupies a lot of the frame too. He's quite a big guy.
And you think,
and what are you going to do today?
Yeah.
And I've seen this movie a bit.
I've never seen The Man of My Life before.
Same.
And then as long as he was on camera,
he was the only thing I saw.
He's like an interesting guy.
Fill in the gaps, man.
Based on the information you've got on this guy.
First of all, how old would you pick him as? Late 40s. I reckon a little bit older than that i was gonna say mid-30s yeah but
i think prison i guess yeah exactly i think his his life hasn't always been easy do you think he's
been in for a while yeah i think do you know what i don't know what it's for. I feel like he didn't take a fall, but he could have lessened his sentence if he'd sort of given more information.
Maybe if he'd ratted someone out,
but I just don't think it's in his nature.
Yeah.
He looks to me and,
you know,
I think it's quite noble.
And I think,
yeah,
this podcast is anti-snitch.
Yeah, yeah.
Generally speaking.
I just think...
I think he's had a lot of time to reflect on it.
And I think he stands behind the decision.
But some mornings he wakes up and he thinks,
it would be nice not to be in here.
And he probably wonders what the person he didn't snitch on
is doing with their freedom uh uh it
does feel like everyone in that particular block cell block is involved with vehicles i suppose
because the cut from that scene is to um santos and leo santos and leo and they're working on cars
like seems like a pretty lax prison if you know there's like a garage where everyone just gets to
tinker on vehicles yeah that's true because it seems unlikely i think you're right about there
i i think in my mind like i've i've seen you know documentaries and stuff where they um on
essentially slave wages they they punch out like license plates that's a job that they give to
prisoners there's a whole lot of jobs they give to prisoners
because they're just like very repetitive manual labor
and they can pay them below minimum wage,
which is outrageous.
And so there's whole industries
that are just like underpinned
by the fact that prisoners do the work
to generate that stuff.
Sandos and Leo are teaching.
They're working on engines.
They're fiddling around on an engine.
They're not doing menial production line tasks.
They're pursuing their passion.
Yeah, which I think is what prisons should.
That's what should be happening in the prison.
So I think this guy.
It's kind of a hopeful vision of restorative justice in some ways.
That these guys Could actually come out
On the other side
With some skills
They can apply
To rehabilitate their life
By getting a job
I mean
Rejoining society
It's happening in America
And there's two things
I know about that country
Gone
Land of the free
And
Home of the brave
I just think
That he's in for
Grand Theft Auto
And like
Who is
Oh the tall guy.
The tall guy.
So what happened is he...
I don't know if they were wrong.
I don't think they organise prisons based on crimes.
I think they go like this.
These are the car guys.
Yeah, that's exactly...
D-block.
The car guys.
Because young Vin is in for like...
Because it was with a wrench
Like a car
They're like okay
You can go with the car guys
That's part of the sentencing
Yeah
It's like
Grievous bodily harm
With a weapon
You're getting nine months
You're in D block
Because you technically used
Well we know it was related to a car
You used a socket wrench
Yeah
So I just
I feel like
I can't quite,
I can't paint the entire picture,
but basically him and his friend,
who he took the fall for,
or his friend was betrayed.
Do you reckon it was a racket?
Like they had a whole operation going?
No.
Oh, really?
It was a personal,
not even opportunity.
I think it was a personal vendetta.
I think it was,
I think his friend had been wrongetta. I think it was,
I think his friend had been wronged in some way by a very wealthy gentleman.
And, you know, maybe a stolen partner
or, you know, had reappropriated custody
of the guy's children or whatever.
Okay.
And the way that they wanted,
the only thing he loved more than, you know,
his life was his cars.
And they were like, well, you take my family, I take your car.
Yeah.
And so they worked together on a scheme to take this man's cars
and he got caught.
The other guy drove Scott free and he got caught in one of the cars.
He threw the book at this guy.
He stole a car.
Because he's been aged by prison.
So he's been in for longer than I would say five years.
You know.
Yeah.
Dom Toretto got out.
Yeah.
He was younger.
I think he almost killed someone.
And maybe did kill someone.
He's under 18.
Does that matter in the States?
I don't think he was.
I think he was 18.
And I think in the state of California,
18-year-olds get tried as adults.
17-year-olds?
Maybe there's some leeway.
But I think for violent crimes,
I think there's like,
the judge can sort of have a little bit of discretion maybe.
If you're 17 when you do something
and by the time it goes to trial,
you're 18.
I think it's when you committed it always.
Because otherwise it wouldn't be fair.
Yeah.
It's a bit like it's not really.
But, you know, if you're in the line.
I mean, none of it's fair.
If you're in the line and then they say we're closed now.
Yes.
If you were in the line, you're still in the line.
It's not closed for you.
You've got to vote.
Stay in the line and vote.
They can't kick you out.
I always more think of like a McDonald's.
I know what you were thinking about.
If you can, you do have to vote if you can you do have to vote okay we'll roll yeah we'll roll with that my shining light thanks for asking man i don't give a it's the cutoffs in this movie it's
all the cutoff the wardrobe it's so good specifically the cutoffs buddies wearing when uh
dom teredo goes back to visit him you know
years have gone by this is a guy who became the sort of adopted father very
lot like late into the piece um for jacob in particular as best he could but he's not a
teredo and he'll be the first to admit that his words not yours and i mean jacob at this point
when their dad dies is already 15.
What would we place him at?
Say there's three years between them.
Little brother.
15 to 18?
Yeah, 15, 16. He's not 14.
He's too like grown up.
I think 16.
He's 16 years old.
You've done a lot of your growing up by that stage
and then someone takes away your sole parent
because mums don't exist in the Fast and the Furious.
No.
Not in the T and the furious no um not in the
torito bloodline they have an asexual reproduce reproduce reproduction that's right it's just the
guys the guys decide the guys decide at some point i want to become a father and they lay an egg much
like a dragon and then another torito pops out the next the next generation. And that's the story of how Jacob and Dom came to be.
They were hatched.
Much like the incredible plots in these Fast and Furious movies,
the Toretto boys were hatched from eggs.
Just like the writers were also eggs.
The writers?
The writers of the movies.
Eggs. The plots are hatched from eggs
The writers
The boys are hatched from eggs
Laid by
What's the dad's name?
Mr Toretto to you
Does he have a name?
Yeah Toretto Senior
Okay
Mr Toretto
Anyway
Mr Toretto
Mr Toretto Senior I just Mr. Toretto. Mr. Toretto, senior.
I just like the idea of Vin Diesel showing up at Helen Mirren's estate,
being like, you've got to come back and you've got to do the voice.
Oh, okay, in real life.
Okay, behind the scenes.
So we see Buddy in a cut-off hoodie, I'm pretty sure, right?
And it's still got the hood but
you can see full guns up to the armpit it's so and it clearly cut with scissors it's so good
and there's multiple different tops that dom toredo's in where he's cut the sleeves off himself
as himself as well to create sing i think his arms are so big they just naturally detached
that's what he wants you to think, but he wants to show everyone.
Of course.
And it's so funny.
Cut-offs are really funny.
They're a very funny item of clothing because it's like, just buy a singlet.
It was designed to be this way.
But he's got to get a big shirt.
He's like, no, no, no.
It's too show-off-y.
I'm going to buy a shirt and
just get some scissors because he can't bring himself to hide his arm his massive arms away
and he cuts them off and he looks a little bit silly what would look really looks a bit ridiculous
what would look really good on vin diesel like loose fitting clothes no yeah he's done the work you can be muscly and wear loose fitting clothes it Yeah He's done the work
You can be muscly
And wear loose fitting clothes
It would look nice
Do you think
I just want to see him like
Swimming in a basketball t-shirt
Not swimming
No
I'm thinking linen
I want to see him like
In the Mediterranean
On holiday
In a nice pair of
Cream linen trousers
I could absolutely see that
For Vin Diesel
Not Dominic Toretto
But I reckon Vin Spends a lot toredo but i reckon vin spends
a lot of time in linen i reckon he spends his linen he should start his own line then i reckon
he spends a lot of time um in cars not like him in the car i'm talking about like he's being driven
around no i'm talking about his dick in a car oh Oh, I see. I see, I see, I see.
Thanks for bringing us back there.
I really thought we'd done a good job of...
Much like Tej and Romain are able to exit the orbit of the Earth,
so too do I think that these two boys had exited the orbit of your blue humour
you had put in the show of fucking car exhausts.
And yet, like gravity pulling us back towards the earth at frightening speed,
Guy has to mention putting dicks in cars again.
At one point he says, if we just follow the laws of physics, we'll be fine.
Yeah.
Not a choice.
You took issue with that.
You didn't like it.
It's not like you don't make a decision to follow the laws of physics.
Can you not bring yourself to admit to me can you look me in the eye and say you're not a bit beaten
down by this movie tim hey you looked away okay you look at me i'll look you in the eye too i love
this movie more than life itself that hurts me that you would lie to me in the eye man that that
i would lie about this thing that's and you look dead behind the eyes This is a life giving experiment
Listless
Full of lists
There's three
There's three lists
Nah man you're lying to me
To yourself to our soul libertarian
Listener who has supported us for the last
Eight years and I need
You to get right with
Yourself I need you to get right honest. And I need you to get right with yourself.
I need you to get right with God.
And I need you to introduce a little honesty.
Me and God are cool.
Me and Vin are cool.
Me and Paul Walker are cool.
Me and Michelle Rodriguez are cool.
Me and Ludacris are cool.
Me and Tyrese Gibson are cool.
Me and the woman you're in love with who plays Ramsey are cool.
I can't believe you've got a crush on Ramsey.
I'm telling
what about letty letty's michelle rodriguez oh you mentioned her and what about mia
me and mira surprisingly we're cool oh that's cool yeah yeah i know al al we i'm very cool
with al i don't think she really cares about me al is al actually you define being cool with
someone i was saying her name in
the movie is l but it should be w because this chick rocks it was a good line from you is that
she's in the middle of a great fight sequence it's probably my fate in fact i think it might
have been my first shining light is her fight sequence and she's got a great set of moves i'm
pretty sure it's her i don't think they used to stunt double for this because you see her face
quite a lot and she like there's sort of like a duck and a throw and a grab and a grapple and then a tumble and a somersault
she gets that she ends up with the guy in like some semblance of a figure four leg lock and it's
just like satisfying it's like yes and that's that's when i was like this bit rolls a guy says
yeah hey tell you what her name's Albert, it should be W.
It's actually good call.
It's to the detriment of the later fight scene when Roman and Tej are in the back of that truck
that Ramsay's driving and there's the magnet
and they're fighting in the back of that
and they're sort of moving around
and the magnet's being turned on and off
because it's similar in the way it has to be shot.
It's up close, it's in a contained space
and it's not as satisfying.
Because we've already seen how good
you see like the the height of the actual fighting sequences in the film how long should f9 the fate
of the furious be bearing in mind that i think this movie if you include the after the credit
scene is two hours and 20 i reckon if they put in the good stuff they, it should probably be at about three and a half hours.
You really threw me for a loop there.
Well done, you.
How long would you like it to be?
An hour 40.
How quickly could you tell me the entire plot?
Of this movie?
Oh, God.
Don't do it.
You look dead behind the eyes.
Do you want me to try?
No.
Okay, cool. Maybe another day. Maybe another day. Yeah, I think You look dead behind the eyes. Do you want me to try? No. Okay, cool.
Maybe another day.
Maybe in our own time.
Yeah, I think maybe that'll be the case.
Is Kurt Russell's character Mr. Nobody alive in this movie? That's the big question that we haven't got to, okay?
So this is important.
Is it?
Yes, it is.
Because we both love Kurt Russell and we love his character in this movie.
And right up there with the fight sequence.
Is Kurt Russell Kay Hudson's dad?
Yes
And who's Kurt Angle?
He is a wrestler who died
You know who I
I never really saw him but I liked him
Is Kurt Angle the guy who jumped off the
Like he died doing wrestling in the middle of a match
Really?
I think that was Kurt Angle
Really showing my lack of wrestling knowledge here Yeah, you humiliated both of us It wrestling in the middle of a match. Really? I think that was Kurt Angle.
Really showing my lack of wrestling knowledge here.
Yeah, you humiliated both of us.
It was in the 90s, whoever it was.
I think it was Kurt Angle. Well, it was a different time.
People love saying that.
So Mr. Nobody, Kurt Russell, who we love.
He has the-
Should be called Mr. Somebody.
What's up?
Goddamn right.
You're goddamn right about that.
I don't like this negative self-talk.
Appears in the Metal Gear Solid style message
at the top of the movie saying,
Mayday, mayday.
This plane is going down.
Rogue agent, dangerous cargo.
He says those words.
And so he's imperiled.
And the team talk about the fact that Mr. Nobody,
like they say, as they're going out to Monte Cristo,
is it Risco?
No, Monte Quinto.
They've got to go try and see if he's alive.
They don't find him.
They don't find his body.
It's never brought up in the film.
You and I at the start of the film,
I put it to you.
I was like, okay, so we've seen this in its entirety five times before does mr nobody come back because there's a flashback sequence
where he's back but it's in a different timeline through flashback but in this timeline of f9 we
don't know if he survived the plane crash or not and ramsay actually says we have to recover mr
not i think they've recovered the device but the actual prompt she offers is we need to find mr
nobody yeah and they don't so
either the monte quinto military has taken his body and not given him an appropriate burial or
returned him to the united states government or he survived dragged his ass out of there i mean
literally it would appear that death comes for no name character in this franchise that's why
they call him mr nobody so he can be killed. They found a loophole.
Please.
Mr. Nobody was my father's name.
My name's Chris.
Call me Chris.
That's going to wrap it up for us.
Okay.
I'm calling it there.
Well, I'd like to say
this is the greatest movie of all time.
To quote Tim Batt,
the Citizen Kane of our generation.
I would like to accuse Guy on the record of lying to all of us.
Wouldn't lie.
You're like George Washington for movies.
I cannot tell.
I chopped down the cherry tree.
I cannot tell a lie.
Everybody, thanks for listening.
Thanks for watching.
Thanks for supporting us.
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and we'll see you in the next episode of this beautiful we've got to get a guest we simply must
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