The Worst Idea Of All Time - 08: Extreme Confusion

Episode Date: October 5, 2020

Cards on the table, Tim got too stoned for this watch and is struggling HARD to make sense of not just what happened in the movie but exactly which movie he watched. Was it Emmanuelle's Love? Possibly but there is a real lack of evidence from the movie itself. Guy tries with all his might to focus Tim and the boiz discuss the financial deals that are an important backbone of this movie. Questions abound regarding identical twins, how Emmanuelle uses her potion and whether Wheeler from Captain Planet is in the mix. Sylvia Kristel and George Lazenby are on a plane for time immemorial and the foodplay will not relent.JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTimeVISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: littleempirepodcasts.comMUSIC CREDIT: Tender Moonlight (facebook.com/TenderMoonlight)ART CREDIT: Tomas Cottle (sick-days.com)    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

🎵 Hello and welcome to another exciting episode of The Worst Idea of All Time Season 5. I'm Tim Bett and I... Let's be honest, should we put all our cards on the table? I might have gotten too high for this. table i might have gotten too high for this i have for the last 10 minutes because i was uh so two things happened i was a little bit ahead of you guy in the film i remember you had just a few moments minutes to catch up on to get to me but then also i forgot to like click the next button on zoom to to like join you know i thought i did all the things so in the meantime i've been trying to find out what movie we just watched because

i think it was titled wrong on the file and i cannot for the fucking life of me figure out which made for tv film this emmanuel was directed by francis leroy who as it turns out directed all of them if you scrub to the end credit okay if you scrub to the beginning credits of this film it simply says the word emmanuel as the title which is incorrect and then if you scrub to the very end credits, you know, we normally would have like copyright and then a whole bunch of Roman numerals and then the title of the film. It lists all seven of the made-for-TV movies. What did we just watch?

The reason I needed to find it out is because I cannot wrap my brain around the plot of what I just saw. And I thought that the internet would be able to help, but instead of helping, it has sent me into an even deeper mystery. I, uh,

I hear you. So I've tried to figure out, I just believed it was Emmanuel forever. Forever? No, I thought that was the VR one. Emmanuel's love. That's what we watched last time was Emmanuel forever. Yeah. It would make sense that these two were made right next to each other those are both

listed as being from 1993 they're all made in 1993 listen to what i'm saying all the french made for tv films are 93 they're all directed by the same guy they have the same fingerprint they are identical twins it is impossible for us to use forensic DNA to tell who committed the crime all of those ones they made seven that is such a busy year

I think they shot them all out at once which is why that would make sense for the framing device that has been repeated since our previous outing with Emmanuel which is Sylvia Crystal and George Lazenby That would make sense for the framing device that has been repeated since our previous outing with Emmanuel. Honestly, what did we watch? Crystal and George Lazenby sitting cheek to cheek, just reminiscing on some fucks. How fucking long is this plane ride, brother?

Because she's already explained many years of sexual conquests in the film we saw prior and now we kick off whatever emmanuel this was and you're telling me there's still more flight to go if they keep this up for seven movies man i'm gonna have some serious questions about this plane that they're in run the run the numbers what is these movies are 90 minutes in length so what we've just spent three hours flying after we've seen four we've only spent six hours and after we've seen i can't do math much are you going seven times one and a half it's um ten and a half hours in the year this could be a 24 style narrative device whereby it's cool the stories are being told in real time we're actually experiencing a flight hopefully one of them will just be both characters sleeping

and us free to explore anything else but these just like non-arousing reminiscences but we got to figure out like i did i'd want look this podcast is gonna suck if we can't report back on what happened and unfortunately i've whipped myself into a state where i couldn't really get a good grapple on the plot oh come on we can do that without the help of the internet you just got to believe in yourself oh man i took some notes but they're all over the shop don't have to worry about that so here's what here's what we know this takes place after emmanuel forever because it's already assumed that she has the powers in fact at the start of the film the first thing that happens is they use like a flashback voiceover to be like, Emmanuel went to the Tibetan caves and came across a monk and was given a special potion.

And now she can fuck as any woman on earth. And then bang, you're on the plane with Emmanuel. So we know that it takes place after that. We know that she's got the same powers as discussed in the previous film. They actually very bravely risk exploring these powers even further and she uses them with bizarre discretion the first application she has of her magical potion or perfume is um she's sort of like hitch you remember the will smith film hitch I can't I know I've watched it

but I can't remember it he's like a Cupid relationship setter yeah is Kevin James in that movie Kevin James is in that movie he's like the star client of Will Smith's character

so depending who you ask Will Smith's either a pick up artist hey what are you frantically doing over there it's really stressful just taking my shoes off hey before I describe Hey, what are you frantically doing over there? It's really stressful. Just taking my shoes off. Hey, before I describe the plot of Hitch, how are you doing?

I'm all good. I just am confused and frustrated that I can't figure out which Emmanuel this is. I want to do right by our audience. Our audience don't care. I don't know if that's true, man. The people got to know. I think there's no reason to doubt it's the Emmanuelle that was listed on the tin. Emmanuelle's love.

I think that's what it was called. But when I searched that, it talks about her going to the Tibetan cave. Anyway, sorry, continue with the... I know what you're saying. It talks about her going to the Tibetan caves. And if you read the user reviews on IMDb, the only scene anyone seems to have enjoyed is when she has a threesome with

two women giving her a sensual massage yes so we don't see any of that in this film i understand what you're saying but there's so little detail about that particular one i've got no reason to believe there'd be any more and they're all directed by the same person, and they've all got George Lazenby and Sylvia Christel, who I found out in the credits sings the theme song. Oh, can we actually talk about how ball that is for a franchise? Like, just the production schedule and strategy behind securing Lazenby, who obviously demanded a pretty hefty fee for how they

shot him out sylvia cristel the original like the belief behind this project going into 1992 93 would have been that we are honoring the franchise and also possibly creating a new way to create you know to shoot out films like they're treating a film franchise like a tv show and then all the locations they're going to like these films are so expensive right they do they cut so many corners to make such a budget product in some ways and but then clearly shot in hong kong and india just inside of this one film they go to so many different countries in all of these films but it's what it looks like what we're in for tim this is two of seven and whether or not we're watching these in chronological order

or not is to me by the by at this point it seems like we're about to watch seven movies of sylvia cristal describing to george lazenby what she did with the perfume and it's upsetting to say but that is not as exciting it is not as engrossing as it sounds and if you ask my penis it's not as engorging either. Important to note that this is our first late night record. We are apart, physically distant, and it's 11.16pm on a Thursday. You're researching. You're not listening to me.

We're not connecting. You and I aren't actually interfacing right now, Tim, because you're fucking going down rabbit holes that aren't actually interfacing right now tim because you you're fucking going down rabbit holes that weren't built for you i'll tell you what's happened and i i think this is the case on a few different websites where am i right now letterboxd you know letterboxd.com the movie review site so they've got an identical synopsis for emmanuel's perfume and emmanuel and emmanuel's love which is the the one that we just watched was labeled emmanuel's love and maybe it is but for some reason on multiple websites they're all referencing maybe the same imdb or something they've got the wrong synopsis in there

i just want to know what one we watched i just want to talk i i don't understand why this is such a big block for you from being able to discuss what we just watched because i'm going to do a bad job of explaining why because you don't know because you don't know the title i was i was getting the title for the internet to help me get the plot out but no the what's the first thing you remember you've never been no you've never been a man to to me get the plot out but no the what's the first thing you remember you've never been no you've never been a man to to to take the plot as told by some professional soft core i realize that but listen i'm a man who knows when he's out of his depth and guess what i jumped in the deep end of the pool and i do not have i do not have my inflatables on. Yeah.

I'm the lifeguard and you listen to me. All right. I'm sick of watching you try and fucking doggy paddle to the middle of the pool. I'm like half a meter away from you. I'm looking you in the eyes saying, Hey, stop trying to remember what the different swimming strokes are called and come sit on the side of the fucking pool with me. All right.

I'm with you. All right. Thank you. Now that you're sitting here and your feet are dang side of the fucking pool with me. All right. I'm with you. All right, thank you. Now that you're sitting here and your feet are dangling in the water and you feel like you've had a stern telling off, but you also feel quite safe, can you tell me what was going on when you were in the deep end of the pool?

What do we know? There's a fucking business deal which seems pretty instrumental to the plot here and i can't remember okay so this like the last film is kind of done in three acts the first involves nikki and emmanuel and emmanuel and nikki are friends and nikki is quite a scatty-brained woman who has fallen in love with her boss and i think that they live in hong kong i believe they're traveling they travel a lot for work got it so i think they're in hong kong on a work trip in a hotel um emmanuel helps her out by using

the perfume power to transform into because nikki is very unconfident and a bit of a klutz so she so now here's the fucking thing of it they've changed how the perfume works in this one to a way more sensible version of it i think which is that she takes the perfume and transforms it to the physical appearance of anyone she wants. Which is like, yeah, should have done that from the start rather than being a ghost voice following the woman around. But they explore different applications of it even within this because they only did that once. But later on. That's true. So far in the two films we've seen where this potion is like the central conceit that sort of drives the movies,

they've explored every different application. Like, there's no confidence in themselves. They've explored every different application. I wrote down the line, Guy. Almost at the end of the film, Emmanuelle says, My only fear was that the perfume would wear off and that the spirit of Sonia would take possession of her body again. So that suggests that when she uses it later, now we've got a situation where Emmanuel enters the body of the woman,

and then that person's consciousness is in some sort of terrifying limbo. Yeah. Where does it go? That's fucking scary, dude. And also, if that's what's happening, if instead of changing your physical body to represent and be someone else but still moving through the world as a normal person, if what instead you're doing is leaving your body

and entering as a soul someone else's body, what happens to the body you've left behind? Like, where does that bag of bones collapse? Oh, do you mean Emmanuel's? Yeah. So it seems to me that the way they were showing that left behind like where does that bag of bones collapse oh do you mean emmanuelle's yeah so that it seems to me that the way they were showing that is she was always on a train when it was happening and masturbating there was a there was a different bit she wasn't masturbating in those moments she was no she was she was kind of like she was like a sexual voodoo yeah she was feeling the physicality of getting fucked of being engaged in the act of coitus as the other woman a sexual voodoo doll is the perfect

articulation very intelligent i just want to circle back to when i was describing hitch because i do think that there are similarities in the application of emmanuel the first time with nicky when she sort of helps her conquer her fears and initiate sex with her boss real sitcom set up eh well yeah it's what it's what hitch does he he believes he gives characters like kevin james the tools to be confident within themselves so that they can you know express the best version of themselves to potential partners and whereas hitch does this through side coaching and then leaving kevin james to go and explore it himself and emmanuel the application is much more literal where she takes on the body and is like fine i'll have to do this my fucking self and she goes out and

seduces him and then when the guy's barred up and ready to go she's like no no no i'm just going to go to the bathroom and then goes and gives this other woman who is her a pep talk can i tell you this the woman nikki who is trying to have sex with her boss goes to the bathroom four times inside of 10 minutes and then when things just kick off and start getting a bit hot and heavy she goes to the bathroom for the fifth time takes ages there is no doubt in my mind if i'm her boss that she has some sort of stomach problem that she's like this is i don't think this is the best time for fucking i yeah that is the impression i would have that i got she also they've ordered dinner they were supposed to go out to dinner and then emmanuel as nicky is like let's order in let's not leave the hotel let's stay right here and eat our food and see what happens come what may and he's like fuck yeah this rules and then nicky comes back out

timid real nicky and she's like sees the seafood and she's like fucking gross man this looks disgusting and she's like i've lost my appetite now i have to go to the bathroom and so she goes switches clothes with emmanuel which is an act that would take about 10 minutes there's so many items then she comes out and goes uh i've changed i've I've had a change of heart. Let's eat now. This woman has obviously taken a massive shit. There's no getting around it. She's cleared the decks for the main course.

The two of them guzzle food with as much disgusting enthusiasm as the bandmates did in the previous iteration. This particular franchise, I live in fear of anything edible coming onto the screen because I know that they're going to render it unusable to me for the rest of my fucking life. They take these very thin, wet slices of tomato and tongue them as though they're each other's genitals.

It is honestly enough to make your stomach churn i didn't think she did too badly with the tomato slice to her credit but with the um squid rings or whatever that was that was some sort of soft cold egg roll and play at one point not erotic textures or temperatures anyway this sort of back and forth keeps happening until eventually he's like what is going on in that bathroom and just comes in and there's two of them there's two of the same woman and he's like nice and both of them are super horny for him at this point they're like you got it and they all have this phenomenal transcendent sexual experience and then i guess the next morning em Emmanuel leaves and changes back into her body.

And this sort of, I still, I know that it's not their job to resolve all of the story that they set up in this movie. It's their job to make me horny. By the way, they failed on two counts. But their relationship is then like, begins in earnest. is then like begins in earnest and this super chilled out dude doesn't seem to have any questions about the fact that the night they met he had a threesome with his partner and her identical twin sister and then never never saw hide nor hear of her again yeah that's it that That was just the first act, though. Then we had this whole second story with Sonia, right? Yeah, and the second story is connected. Now instead of being in Hong Kong,

the same group of business travelers are in India, further along the line, and they're all traveling together on a train. And Emanuele is there as a friend of the group. And Nikki and her boss, I believe his name's Nico maybe, they appear to be, they're there, right?

I wasn't mistaken. They were on the train. Fuck, I don't know. I feel like Nikki was, but goddamn, this is, you know, this is where things get hazy. I think they were.

And at this point, their relationship was okay. But then there was another guy, Nikki's boss's business partner, so Nico's potential business partner. He's a restaurateur. Actually, do you know, I reckon this guy's more of a wheeler and a dealer than any actual particular trade.

I don't think he's a very skilled guy. If he was on the level – so this movie kicks off with a phenomenal opportunity for this guy, which is $10 million purchase of a restaurant chain, six locations, each bringing in a million dollars profit annually. That is unheard of. We're talking restaurants in Los Angeles, one in dallas texas two in fresno oh fresco i thought it was fresno frisco like that's san francisco for san fran that they was using gotcha that makes more sense yeah i mean i don't disagree that the sale was good, but this guy, he's fucking... He's oily as all hell.

He's not trustworthy. If I would do my due diligence, and if he could verify what he's saying, that each one of these locations is pulling a million dollars profit a year, man, this is worth a lot more than 10 mil. Plus, then you own the entire franchise think of the franchising opportunities it's not just the locations that you've got you've now got incredible opportunity to expand i don't know he just doesn't give enough information it's just all the glossy

top line stuff there's no fine print there's no details over mate do they own any of these buildings do they lease all of them like is that million dollars you know without taking out overheads and whatever it costs to actually operate the franchise he describes it profit because he says a million dollars profit each i didn't even say profit that is a sweetener it's huge are you telling me we should go in on this dude i i hear what you're saying about him not being super trustworthy but just on the off chance that this is on the level you need to seize these arbitrage opportunities when they come to you because every now and then they're real but most stuff that sounds too good to be true is, but every now and then you'll get a chance, and you've got to take it, my friend.

You've got to look into it. Arbitrage. Well, you know what I say. Yeah? I say if you've got the ingredients there, you've got to crumb the fish. But tell me this. What does arbitrage mean?

It's a unique financial opportunity to make an unusual amount of money this is ah so like how i would describe it buying a house in the 70s yeah absolutely um but basically the the the second act is they're on this train ride now the focus goes to this different uh couple who are in an unhappy relationship and one of the two people in it is this this shady businessman he's trying to you know sound like he's trying to sell things that are lost to himself he's and actually i mean his whole subplot is about business dealings like this movie has a surprisingly high

assumption of the literal like financial literacy levels of its audience and also of their interest in following along as yeah man different characters swindle and negotiate for different amounts of money i this is where i really lost this is what I wanted the plot for because this is where I lost the three. Why don't you tell me what you saw? Emmanuel is friends, I think, with, I'm going to call her Sonia. Sonia tricks. Emmanuel as Sonia tricks a guy who I can't remember who he is into investing

two million dollars into a fund. So, Emanuela's friends with Sonia, we'll call her, and Sonia is in this really unhappy situation with this guy, who's the same wheeler and dealer,

the aforementioned that we've just spent about five minutes discussing. So, they're together, they're on this train nikki and nico are also on the train but they're like at this moment in time they're happy in their relationship they're sort of just cruising they're not to be you know worried about there's another couple who we don't actually get a lot of information about but there's a um a woman and a man and they like he seems to be into some slightly mystic shit like at one point we get this really prolonged scene where he delivers like a hypnogasm to his partner they go into their little carriage in the train and he just stares at her and moves his hands and you know her body writhes in perfect synchronicity

with his movements basically the thing thating has been working his way up to for his entire life. That's right. And then you've got this other couple who is the wheeler and dealer who we'll call Wheeler, as in Wheeler, the fire. As in Wheeler's deal? Yeah, I was thinking of the Wheeler from Power Rangers. Not Power Rangers.

What was it? Captain Planet. He had the power of fire. He's the redhead. Ida's action figure. A lot of love for the guy. What was that? Captain Planet. He had the power of fire. He's the redhead. Ida's action figure. A lot of love for the guy. What was my favorite though? My favorite was actually Kwame with the power of earth.

He just moved huge chunks of dirt. I mean, I understand that the messaging on that show was save the planet. Yeah. But the reckless abandon with which these people would manipulate and use the planet to upset the villains was probably as disruptive as what the

villains were planning to do in the first place you've got a point there mate because consequences if you create a tsunami to stop someone from fucking you know stealing a bag of toxic waste mate i think i believe it was linker from uh the soviet union who had the control of the oceans and she was creating tidal waves left right and center and the thing you've got to know about that is there is a massive path and wake to that activity getting to the enemy i hear you So we'll call this guy Wheeler. I think Whippy Goldberg voiced Gaia. I think that's true.

Well, I'll bet you that you're going to look that up instead of listening to my sage words of reflection and wisdom as I try and re-articulate the disappointing softcore pornographic film you just watched to you so that you can rest easy with the context that we shared this experience. It was Whoopi Goldberg. Thank you. And so Wheeler, he's on the train.

He's in this unhappy situation with this woman who we're calling Sonia, and that's Emmanuel's friend. That's Emmanuel's point of connection. And Emmanuel sees that they're unhappy and she talks to Sonia and she says, what's going on? And Sonia's like,

he's not having sex with me. I know he's been having sex with someone else. And also he's been in charge of like, she's an heiress of some description and he's been in charge of her funds and she doesn't really know what's happening and she can't really leave the relationship because he's in control of the funds.

And Emmanuel goes, don't worry, I can fuck our way out of this. and so she takes on the persona of someone who's totally unrelated to anyone on the train she takes on an entirely new body with an entirely new name we'll call her tanya and she introduces herself as sonia's friend tanya unrelated to the group as it exists and immediately goes to work on uh seducing wheeler and also for reference hold on now i'm getting confused let's just follow this as you've laid it out what's really amazing in the movie is that tanya lays out out loud like a pretty complicated sequence of financial goings on that this guy has to fall into the trap of. She presents a situation where she has a, from memory, $55 million fund, which her uncle is in control of.

But she travels around the world doing on the ground research for opportunities to invest it in so she sort of says this while getting into a state of undress to seduce this man and kind of like quote unquote you can't see i'm doing air quotes here let's slip that there is a fund which is about to open up tomorrow which is going to generate a whole lot of investor interest and basically make the people who are holding the shares in this company incredibly wealthy so then he gets on the phone like as he's trying to sort of he's pouring at her but he's also so desperate to he wants to fuck and he wants to make money. So he gets on the phone to, who I only assume is his secretary,

and gives them the strict instructions to invest $2 million sight unseen without any approval from the board of directors or even an accountant to be wired over to buy into this company. And then they fuck. And so I guess now she's got two million dollars of this guy's money they're going to start fucking but then all of the old crew from the

train come piling into the room and they're like he they start fucking and she starts sucking on her thumb yes and then and then he's like you know do you know where I got it twisted here? Do you know what the vital point that I... Finish the thumb thing, because this will solve everything. This will bring people a lot. The resolution of the thumb thing traces back to this. Emmanuel doesn't assume, and this is another exploration of the potion. Emmanuel doesn't assume the role of Tanya, the friend. Fuck, that's right.

Emmanuel instead gives the potion to Sonia and is like, hey, Sonia, put this on. You're going to take on a different body you're gonna say you're tanya you're gonna go you're gonna seduce the guy who you've been fucking who you don't like and this is how we're gonna get him and so that's what happens and then but sonja's got the habit of when she is about to orgasm she sucks on her own thumb that's right and so when this brand new woman does this the guy's like i know what's good i know what the most likely explanation is here this completely different woman is my actual partner and i've been had and then so yeah and as he discovers he's been had everyone piles up and they go nino nino gotcha gotcha and he goes

and everyone piles in and they go, Nenor, Nenor, gotcha, gotcha. And he goes, Skinner! Skinner! Words to that effect. And then the third act, which is by far the craziest, is that we return to Nikki, and she is not in a good way.

They're back in San Fran, and she is... No. She's at the end of the rope. By the way, all of these scenes punctuated by the very, like, lag punctuated by the very like laggy sort of mumbled dialogue between sylvia cristel and george lazenby as they fumble through like this totally unnecessary exposition but i guess that their name value actors and so it's important that they get their screen time halfway through the movie term i was also on twitter and i saw you just tweeted out George Lazenby's

voice is so deep in the Emmanuel series it's really cool and I laughed for about 5 minutes at the fact that you thought that and also bothered to share it who was that for literally who was that observation for? It was literally for you the second tweet that I

sent out was the Emmanuel series would have you believe life is all sucking fucking going to Hong Kong and making million dollar business deals it isn't yeah i thought that was worth sharing that one's certainly much more broadly accessible than your very niche observation that you were in that moment of time enjoying george layton's voice pretty much though the third act is Nikki is they go quite meta like to their credit this movie makes a lot of swings and misses but they do take some pretty big swings this point we're back in San Francisco and Emmanuel's visiting Nikki because Nikki's not in a particularly good way and Sylvia Christel she preloads this anecdote to George Lazenby by

saying this last one I'm not so proud of and she starts talking about going to visit Nikki she arrives and Nikki is on the set of a porn film that's being filmed in her apartment and so I feel like this is sort of a tongue-in-cheek uh opportunity to lampoon you know the very um you know it's not quite a snake eating its tail but like to to lampoon uh the making of pornographic films or perhaps they had bad blood with a different pornographic franchise and they were spoofing them by doing this but pretty much we have this really seedy kind of in inverted commas cool guy director who's just encouraging two people to fuck harder and meanwhile nikki's rented out her apartment and because this is how porn works if you rent your apartment for the for the film to be set there you just get to keep hanging out in your

apartment and watching the porn being made well monty i hate to correct you but i do congratulate myself on trying desperately to pay attention to what was going on. It is not Nikki's apartment. They are on a boat and she does not own it. It is a friend's houseboat that she is currently staying in. That's how she was able to try to end her life by jumping off into the water. Yeah, yeah. jumping off into the water yeah yeah um might i ask then about this rental agreement does that mean that nikki's not in a great way she's free lighting off her friend on the houseboat and

her friend was like hey you can stay there all good don't worry about paying me just so you know in a couple of days i've kind of let the boat out. No, it's even better. Nikki arranged this. She explains that. She said she was bored and looking for a bit of fun. So someone has done a real solid in her time of need. Like a friend has reached out with their, you know, albeit admittedly pretty extensive resources and been like, look, I've got a houseboat.

Maybe this is exactly what you need. Unplug, unwind, get away from everything, be on the ocean, be one with nature. It could do you a world of good. And she's gone, yeah, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. And then booked a pornographic film crew to come around and shoot while she's supposed to be in respite like yeah my god anyway so this is all happening and that's all like that's genuinely that is like the simpsons

making that itchy and scratchy and poochy episode like in terms of self-reference and kind of trying to have fun inside of itself but um that happens there's a porn happening and emmanuel visits nikki and nikki's not great and she's like oh nico and i are not boning and it's all gone to the dogs and emmanuel's like haha i know and she assumes the body of some another brand new smoking hot vixen and instead of really doing anything to help out her friend nikki she just starts fucking the absolute brains out of this dude and she's like she's telling i actually wrote it i can get the exact quote for you i sent it to you tim i would love that i didn't i don't think i did yeah i don't think you'd send it to me but did you write it i wrote it i was gonna

tweet it out but then it was too horny and there wasn't enough context. But pretty much she's like, it wasn't allowed. It was naughty. It was carnal. It was perfect. And it was divine. Divine sticks out. She definitely said that. They have this incredible sex,

and then she's feeling really sheepish, and she wants to skip town because Nicky's gone for a swim and said that she was trying to throw herself off the boat and then the guy comes and nikki's also pregnant oh yeah forgot that she is now pregnant blah blah blah emmanuel she gets pregnant she gets pregnant and then the guy we're calling nico who's the boss from earlier he's they've up, but she is carrying his baby. So they've got to get back together. And Emmanuel fucks him so good and then leaves him

and never talks to him again. He's like, God damn, this has got me in a real spin. I'm going to go back to my former partner. And yay, verily, he does. And Sylvia Christel, Emmanuel OG is like, man, I reckon I used the potion wrong in that instance. And then George Lazenby's like... Because?

Because she wasn't pure of heart. And then George Lazenby's like, nah, if you came that hard, you were definitely pure of heart. That's not what he says. He congratulates her on re-putting the pieces back together of the relationship. And it's such a convoluted dialogue that he sort of yeah spits out to explain that point i would argue my paraphrase

is better and i'd also like to say to you tim yeah a hearty congratulations thank you for joining me on the side of the pool uh i really feel like so good reconstructing this movie i was so confused but maybe i actually wasn't. Maybe I got most of this, and it's just a confusing film. Yeah, it's a dogshit franchise, and I hate that we have to watch five more of this exact format. Like, what? I guess the only things to look forward to are

what country they're going to go to next. We're going to watch a porn in fucking Egypt and Hungary. It's always Southeast Asia. They've been in Hong Kong so much. I'd love to see them come down to New Zealand and bone on the Chatham Islands. Bro, you and me both. It would be sick as hell.

Or maybe one of our custodial countries. What are they called? Like a territory. Anyway, Tukalau is what I'm saying. Let's get some porn shot and took allow i think that would be tremendous i don't disagree i think it's took allow but i'd be i reckon i'd be wrong so yeah i'm saying it wrong yeah for sure okay well any any way you any way you strike it guys we're up to i like i feel like just for reference a lot of this podcast has been reconstructing the

plot and admirably so but i i would like it on the record that i feel like i'm really in the guts of the franchise now especially now that i can see we're inside of the same format of this block of emmanuel films yeah there is something fitting about these all happening as recollections inside of a conversation that's happening on a plane. Because, you know, when you're on a plane and you feel like you're stateless, and I mean that in the legal sense, you're kind of above any nation's border, and you're without a time zone or connection to the internet vis-a-vis the world feeling you're just adrift and that's what these films feel like so we've got seven um at least of this exact feeling i mean and after that your baby boys are going to space i can't wait for that because i'm just thinking about now it's like it's so difficult for there to be any urgency to a franchise which is told entirely in flashback and not a flashback what not a flashback where it's like you you go back and you get engrossed in the story and you're in the story the whole time and then that becomes

real time like a flashback that keeps coming back to the present day to emphasize the fact that none of these stories are happening right now it's true you do lose any sense of stakes all of this being said i want to say this because this is important i did not hate this movie because this is exactly the kind of shit that i feel like were the ones that were on when i was watching as a 13 and 14 year old it's like 90 first of all some of the fashion in this movie was fucking sick some of the shit that emmanuel was wearing and this was legitimately very cool i think it's just the perfect amount of time has rolled around since 1993 that that stuff is back in or just according to my sensibilities but she she had some very stylish threads. I loved the kind of weird, high-concept,

like, crazy storyline to propel a softcore pornography forward. I loved the bad acting. I loved the incredibly terrible dubs. Like, the bit where they had to do ADR for the kissing, like, at the start, that sent me. Because when I was hearing the dialogue that was recorded over the top,

because this is a French language film and it's all in it, we were watching dubs today, not subs. And I'm grateful for that because subs, it would have been hard. So we had the dubs and the dubs were so poorly recorded that i could like i couldn't associate it with what was happening on screen because i could in my head visualize the environment in which they were recording it which was a big echoey empty room i was like this isn't at all matching up with the acoustics that i can see on screen really fucked me up i love that detail there of yours this this all of this shit is like why are these fucking old people on a plane having

a chat why the fuck are we all over the world like the storyline is insane the dubs don't match up people are kind of having sex there's a lot of breasts like they'll take any opportunity to show a woman's nipple to me and it's like that that is the hazy memory i have of sky one porn after midnight as an early teenager 100 i think the movies um i didn't like it but know, I just got bothered by it. Just to check in on my own boner patrol, I put a rubber band around my penis, and my penis never really touched the rubber band. So flaccid did it remain. You know, like it was a big rubber band.

So confused by how this works. Well, it was like a rubber band that was hanging loose around my penis and it hung loose around oh this is gross yeah i hate all of this so thank you very much for joining us no you got to check in though what was your bone of patrol oh not a stirring but um but i don't know why i said but that was a that's the whole sentence i wish i'd i i really left with a nasty taste in the mouth of the list um i was going to promote our patreon but i don't think i can after you talked about putting a rubber band on your penis so i won't.