The Worst Idea Of All Time - 15: Baguette w/ Justin McElroy
Episode Date: April 7, 2023Justin McElroy joins Tim and Guy to question whether anyone involved in the making of F8 Of The Furious knows anything about how babies work. We find out Guy's greatest weakness, where Justin sits on ...the great Vin vs. The Rock debate and who would be the perfect villain for Fast 10. There's a lot of bread chatter, analysis of the role of Butt Women and also of Jason Statham, in this franchise.Join us on SubstackSee Guy live in Australia and New ZealandSee Tim live in Australia and New Zealand Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Hi there my and welcome to another exciting episode of the worst idea of all time podcast hosted by Tim Batten, Guy Montgomery.
We've just watched...
Are you reading off a script?
Yeah, yeah, it's all scripted.
Why have you got your phone out?
I've scripted my half of the podcast the whole time.
The fact you've never noticed is an affront to decency.
You've never done this before?
I have.
I just learned it.
Every other time I've learned it,
but this time I didn't have time to learn my lines.
Can you believe how well our conversations sync up
given that mine are all scripted?
You mean you're not scripting your half?
Anyway, listen, folks.
Huge episode because we have an incredibly special guest joining us.
Please put your podcast ears, arms, and legs together for Justin McElroy.
Hey, wow.
What an honor.
I can't believe it.
I'm on a video.
You're on a video.
It's finally happened.
Get your head around this.
You're also on a podcast.
I know.
I've done that before.
This has got to be my eighth or ninth podcast i've done
i've done lots of podcasts but my video come on huge first time all right so we tim and i have
watched the fate of the furious is this on tv are my parents watching this right now is this on tv
yeah you know how my parents see this you're on television yeah you're broadcasting worldwide
they call you mr worldwide pitbull got the idea for his name from you.
So we've watched it for the sixth time.
What I want to know, Justin, first of all, how are you?
I'm well.
I mean, I'm thrilled.
I just watched the film, and I'm feeling pumped,
feeling ready to talk about it.
How many times have you seen it?
This would have been my third watch of eight.
And is that across the entire span of your life,
or is that since you found out you were going to be on the podcast?
No, that's been across the span of my life.
So my wife and I, Sydney, Dr. McElroy, as she insists I call her,
wife and I, Sydney, Dr. McElroy, as she insists I call her, we actually do a, for the Max Fun, our podcasting network for the Max Fun Drive, we do a bonus podcast just for that
drive as a bonus material where we have gone through each of the Fast and Furious movies.
It's called Fast and Furious and Justin and Sidney.
So I've watched this once for pleasure, right, just as a fan.
And then I rewatched it with my wife, and then I watched it today.
I will say this is 100% the soberest I've ever watched a Fast and Furious movie.
Hands down.
Wow.
Mid-afternoon, you know, turkey wrap.
Like, that's the viewing we're talking about.
If that paints a picture.
Yeah, it's a healthy screening.
What was your screening experience, Guy?
Mine was, it was healthy, I suppose, with respect to sobriety.
I was in the same family as Justin.
It was not your midday screening.
family as justin it was not your midday screening uh this was a a late night screening that took me to uh russia all the way to russia i said i'm gonna watch this movie until russia yeah and then
as soon as the gang went to russia i said i'll see you guys in the morning and um then i got up
at six o'clock and i rejoined them still in in Russia. And then we spent, as always, what felt like an interminable amount of time
dealing with these.
I mean, we're not even really dealing with these pesky Ruskies.
Can you say that?
You probably can't say that.
Right now, I think you can get away with pretty much whatever on that front.
Yeah.
And the sense of dread, you know,
just to quickly just to frame the mental state
that I was entering this watch with,
the sense of dread was the highest it's been this season.
And my memories of first watching this eighth film
and the joy that I derived from it
couldn't have been further from mine.
So you really had a bad time with this.
I had a bad time with this.
I had a bad time.
Oh, man.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
I'm so sorry about the bad time.
Did you have a good time?
I had the worst time.
Yeah, great.
I had the worst time I've ever had.
I started the screening not having slept for like 40 hours
or 38 hours at that point.
And I can feel myself getting a little bit sick.
Is that because you were so excited to see it?
I couldn't sleep.
Yeah, just so adrenalized.
Leading up to this.
And I was in bed and we got to Russia and I almost did what you did,
but I was like, no, the morning's going to be fucking chaos.
It's not going to happen.
So I just stayed up and watched it.
And to be honest, pretty proud of myself for staying awake.
Yeah.
It was hard.
And Zoe watched the first bit of it with me.
Chelsea actually saw some of the movie this time as well.
First time.
What does Sydney make of this film?
Because obviously you guys have watched the whole dang franchise.
It's hard to differentiate between the movies you guys have much clearer lines from my perspective fast the
furious is a 16 hour long action epic with that leaves your mind the moment you step away from it
you guys probably have a clearer uh appreciation of these films than i do because regularly we
would be watching a movie that we watched i I mean, we separated, once we caught up,
we were separating each episode by a year.
So it's like absolutely no idea who anybody is, what has happened,
why anything is anybody.
That must be quite the thrill.
I can't imagine you guys finding out the story behind Lil' Brian.
That must have been quite a delight for you all.
I know that was some source of consternation through the ninth film.
Yeah, it was difficult in that introduction for us to Lil' Brian
is also the introduction to Lil' Brian's mother.
You're right.
There is still quite a lot of backstory to be coloured in
for us to truly grasp the context.
The more questions we answer, the more opposed to us in this franchise
as we unpack all of these plot lines and characters.
It's very tricky business.
Even though you consider these all to be,
I mean, and you're not miles away.
Vin Diesel sort of referenced these
in the same breath as Tolkien
and the Lord of the Rings is like a huge sort of mythology.
I know that it's all blurred into one,
but where does this particular film rank in your pantheon of fast films?
I mean, I'll be honest, guys.
I had a heck of a time.
Yeah.
I had a hoot watching this one.
For me, I think this might be the peak.
Sorry.
be the peak sorry uh this might be the peak in terms of the camp matching the the action matching the melodrama like finding like the best balance um a lot of great uh i'll tell you what i like
what i like about this one i had the realization while i was watching this film when at the bit after zombie cars when they all shoot
his cars with spears yeah rope spears and then they all crash in that scene a little bit justin
so i'm not sure if we've ever sort of picked apart what that is and visually it's quite the spectacle
well well you talked about the zombie cars right cypher uh hijacks a bunch of cars to fight basically yeah and then uh uh in an attempt to
like stop dom without destroying him several and again the choreography is a little bit money in
my head but um they got shot they shoot him with like harpoon harpoons tied to ropes and basically
try to like much like a um a giant being attacked by lilliputians attempt to like take his car down
by tying it up with chains and of course he he can't be stopped by these conventional means and
i was watching this and i realized like i i i cannot feel anything from cars uh cars can't make
me feel anything i can't watch them smash around and race it's kind of like when i was watching
top gun maverick in the theater by myself,
and I realized like 30 minutes in, like, I don't care about planes.
I can't, I'm not excited about planes.
I don't really feel anything for the planes.
How did you have such a good time watching this film in spite of that?
Well, because there's a lot of really fun, like, fight choreography.
You know what I mean?
Like, there's a lot of fun.
I mean, the plane scene with the baby
grand slam obviously huge the are you a statesman do you like statham oh yeah i think he brings a
lot to this frame i think it's hard without without statham around to i mean he really
amps up the fun yeah he gets the tone exactly he understands you understands exactly what he's doing in there.
Just about as well as Dame Helen Mirren understands her role in the film.
What a delight she was as well.
She really does. On this watch.
So, Chels just happened to see a part of the film which bridged the gap between seeing Charlize Theron on camera and then also Helen Mirren in the next scene.
And she said, this movie is punching,
which is like a colloquial turn of phrase,
I don't know if you have it in America,
for punching above its weight.
Like she was disgusted with the idea
that these actors would insert themselves into this project.
Zoe was, this was so funny.
So we're watching the start and Zoe was like,
hey, this is not bad
because we watched the beautiful Cuba scene
and the race and the race is like good fun
while Dom's trying to protect his cousin against the loan shark.
And then we got as far as the bit where Chalice Theron turns up
and Zoe looked at this character of Cypher.
She was like, oh, my God, those blonde dreads are alive.
I was like, yeah, you're going to lose your mind when you see who it is.
And she was like, who is it?
I was like, I'm not going to tell you.
And we waited and waited, and then she took off her glasses. I was like, her? She was like, mind when you see who it is. And she was like, who is it? I was like, I'm not going to tell you. And we waited and waited.
And then she took off her glasses.
I was like, her?
She was like, I don't know who that is.
And I said, it's Charlize Theron.
She said, no, it isn't.
It is, but that's a testament to how deep Charlize has disappeared
into the character of Shiloh.
Zoe's words were, she was more, oh, wait.
Yeah, I think she said this last night.
I'm in a bit of a haze because of the sleeplessness.
But she said she was more recognizable and monster than she is in this film i don't know about that i i i had to learn the term punching because someone used it to describe uh my own
personal marriage on the street with my wife that was a great that was good fun. Fellas are always described as punching.
Do any of us think that any of our partners have ever been told by their friends or anyone that they are punching?
God, no.
Look at us, guys.
Look at us.
Look at how we're spending our years.
They've all settled.
This is the gap in aspirations for us.
We're so lucky.
And for them, it's like this is the best version aspirations for us. We're so lucky.
And for them, it's like this is the best version of the worst possible outcome.
I had a lot of moments in this.
I think 8 nails the camp without having to make a big production out of it for example early in cuba the scene where dumb casually rips a car apart with his bare hands they don't have to make he's
not acting like it's hard and we're not no one reacts to it he's just and then he takes the hood
off and throws it away he he just rips a car yeah it his bare hands. And with no strain being exerted whatsoever as well.
He just sort of taps on a part and a door will fly off.
It's crazy.
No one is in awe of him doing it.
And by the way, the reason why he's doing it is he's trying to reduce the weight to the absolute maximum
so that the car will go as fast as it can for this impending street race.
I would suggest
the heft of the drive is probably going to make a bit of an impact there you know obviously we all
accept i mean there's that thing you get told when you're a child that muscle weighs more than fat
or something yeah isn't there something about the way vin diesel carries himself which suggests that
vin diesel's muscle weighs more than muscle like there's a there's a ratio where yeah like there's
a granite sort of quality to just the way he carries himself and he's not there's a ratio where yeah like there's a granite sort of quality to
just the way he carries himself and he's not he's not very like um flexible whatsoever i'd love to
see him in a yoga class i would he knows his angles and he sticks to him and i celebrate that
anybody who's on camera that much what are his angles just the like he's got to keep his shoulders
up around his head.
He's got weird slopes.
He doesn't want to reveal anybody, so it has to be like this.
And the other angle that he can always do is turned away from you and then looking back.
That's the classic Vin, right?
The look away.
He refuses to be shot directly.
He has to always be looking over his shoulder in a scamp-like fashion.
That's high drama.
And also, that's a good angle.
No one looks good being shot straight on, I think.
Yeah, it's a good angle.
And he understands that.
He understands that.
As an executive producer of the Fast and Furious franchise, he gets it.
When they started doing the haka, the soccer team,
the little girl soccer team at the start, Justin,
did you know that
that was like a new zealand thing uh how do you mean so that that performance that they do the
the performative dance where they're doing the chant and they're doing what appears to be kind
of an aggressive like um set of moves and stuff to the other team that's called a haka which is
indigenous to new zealand that's a maori thing and uh because
zoe lost her shit and it reminded me that we do not talk about it very often but it's a pretty
wild thing yeah it's just in this movie is an indigenous performance by this like american
little girl soccer team i assumed it was derived from the rock's cultural background it felt like
something the rock just brought to the table.
Well, the Rock is aware of New Zealand.
He lived here.
I keep telling you, you don't believe me.
I don't believe you.
He lived here.
As a kid.
He lived in Auckland.
You guys didn't watch Hobbs and Shaw yet, right?
Not yet.
I've seen, I went, I saw it.
Much is made.
That sort of idea of him bringing his own culture to the film,
that's very deeply represented in Hobbs and Shaw.
It's a great deal of fun.
Speaking of Hobbs and Shaw,
this is an ancillary to the broader conversation,
but I was doing a bit of digging around the edges to see,
because everyone knows Vin and The Rock have beef,
but I was trying to find details of Tyrese Gibson's beef with The Rock.
You sent me that. Everyone knows Vin and The Rock have beef, but I was trying to find details of Tyrese Gibson's beef with The Rock. And Tyrese Gibson posted the most unbelievably petty Instagram
after Hobson Shaw got released in cinemas.
I've got to read out the exact caption.
Hobson Shaw did bad numbers.
Relatively at the box office.
This is what Tyrese Gibson posted after Hobson Shaw's box office numbers came out.
He said, and I quote. Guy's going back on script yeah I'm back on script that's right I oh my god give it to me I have to show my respects for one thing he tried folks called
me a hater and attacked me for speaking out Breaking up the family clearly doesn't have the value that one would assume it does.
You know what?
Maybe, just maybe.
Oh, no.
The caption cuts off.
Anyway, basically, he just started throwing shade at The Rock,
saying, you thought you could do it on your own, but you can't.
Family's bigger than The Rock.
Yeah, you're a big movie star, but fuck you.
Fuck, that's good.
Where are you on the kind of Vin rock thing, Justin?
Because we've had some differing opinions
with our guests on this.
You know, it all makes me sad.
I'd love to see these two talents back in the ring
for one more go.
I know that we, all of us,
in the Fast and Furious fan community would love that.
So I hope they can work it out.
They both have huge muscles.
And we want to see them both. I say that they would have a lot in common that's what it takes i will say it's wild for tyrese to suggest to decide like i'm gonna pick a lane and it's this one this one
franchise right not the rock who is himself a franchise as a human being yes i i think that
is wild to take an unprompted swing at the rock it seems
unwise but uh i like it so it's not unprompted i like it so much because all of the the actual
source material for this beef that exists is so like banal and petty if you do if you amplify
just a workplace disagreement because someone stacked the dishwasher wrong yeah and like we're
posting on instagram being like cheryl's a candy ass because she fucking doesn't put the cutlery
in the right way yeah which is basically what happened in the i mean i guess it it's also
inside of the marketing machine right like that's intriguing as a punter you want to see them you
want to see the movie that made these two as as you say, Justin, men with seemingly so much in common with respect to being bald and muscly.
It's so wild that Tyrese made that choice.
It makes me think that there was the intervention of an agent or manager there who was like, listen, we can make a lot of headlines, really get you in the news here.
I know.
High risk, high reward.
Just take an unprompted crack of the rock. Just fire one off the hip, Tyrese. make a lot of headlines really get you in the news here i know high risk high reward just take
an unprompted crack of the rock just just fire one off the hip tyrese dwayne johnson has not been
above the fray either because he he sent a message out um calling out vin diesel very directly and a
lot of his male co-stars last week of production he called him he called him a candy ass it was great wow yeah yeah positively scathing
it was full-on and i i gotta be honest i'm a messy bitch who lives for drama i love this stuff it's
so zero stakes but so funny to watch going on just these millionaires kind of having a silly fight
about who's going to be in charge of the the magical flying cars this time it's all tethered
to masculinity right it's all about about who gets the fairest representation
from what they imagine masculinity to be
to what translates on camera.
That's the competition.
It reads as fragility.
There's some very fragile minds and egos going on here, I think.
And I think that's fun.
Yeah, of course.
You notice on a reality TV a lot,
we watch a lot of dating,
we put hot people on an island
and let them hump.
And we watch a lot of that kind of stuff
at night just to unwind.
And anytime a huge, muscly dude gets jilted,
he is reduced to,
he can't handle it.
Because that one thing about being very strong is, like, his whole thing.
So, like, when that is challenged at all, it's just the fragility is just, like, absolutely toxic.
And it's fun to watch that in a reality TV show.
It's even more fun when you get a whole publicity apparatus to rally around you
and play this thing out in the trades as well.
It's a good time.
I'm very fragile too.
What would be your, if I was to, me and my agent were to team up and be like, hey, I need to get some headlines.
Let's talk some shit about Guy.
Tell Tim your greatest weakness.
What's your greatest weakness?
Why am i doing the
work for you and your whole publicity department i'm not gonna do it it's a fun thing to to play
around with i probably won't do it uh guy montgomery guy um i don't know what you could
say really you could say guys out he's all out of ideas. You say Guy has no new insights on the Fast and the Furious franchise.
Oh, man, you'd be devastated by that.
Or just say he's lost the ability to critically analyze film.
Basically would absolutely level me.
Do you believe you had an ability to critically analyze film?
This is why it's a bad game.
You would almost certainly be the world's single film critic that hadn't seen
any of the star wars movies yeah on principle this is our most principled film critic you gotta
you gotta work your way up to those not just anyone should be allowed to watch you should
there should be there is such a good rationale you have to climb your way to the top food pyramid it's the pyramid of cinema
you watch all this fucking schlock at the bottom you and your uh you and your pal there have also
proven that you're among the few people on earth that like are bad at watching movies like you actually do it incorrect so few people do you guys are bad at watching movies
all right but we do it wrong it's called hey fuck you i don't tell you about how you watch movies
we do it right we work our way up when i'm 80 i'm gonna be uncorking several classics and i'll be
senile i don't know what I'm watching.
But I'll be able to appreciate that it's earned.
I know we've moved past it, but that is also not how the food pyramid works.
Because the healthy stuff is at the bottom.
Well, that's what they said.
But the bottom was all great.
Bro, bread is so good for you, though.
Is it?
The jury's been out on bread the whole time I've been alive.
They're like, have some bread.
And then you have bread.
And they go, oh, you've not been eating bread, have you?
In America, your guy's bread is like, it's all sugar.
You know that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's pure sugar.
Yeah, absolutely.
Do you guys...
We're aware.
We're okay.
Do you buy bread?
Do I buy bread?
Is that the question for the podcast?
Yeah, it's a fucking question.
Yeah, man.
I buy bread.
I give it to my kids to keep them quiet.
They love this stuff.
White bread.
Hey, Justin McElroy, what's your favorite kind of bread?
You got a favorite bread?
My favorite kind of bread?
I love a brioche.
Love that.
It's sweeter than regular bread and that's great because
the normal the normal bread doesn't hit anymore so i need something a little bit more steak um
i hey i wanted to can i ask some questions about the movie because this is but you guys get to talk
about it so much justin we're currently talking about bread i would love for you to throw something
realize so clearly
we have completely different agendas.
How would you, how have you guys handled,
because I struggled with this during our show,
the role of butt women in the films?
Because this is close to like a visual trademark.
Like you are legally mandated to have one of these
movies to early on have
shots of butt women to a point
where the movie doesn't even seem to enjoy
it anymore but they realize they do
have to. And of course there's a hierarchy of
butt women we all understand.
And then whoever is the leader
of them who's worked their way up gets to be the one
that holds the napkin that makes the
race go. But it is in every one of the movies movies and i'm curious how you guys have handled the discussion
of of that uh that visual trademark of the films yeah joseph moore brought this up as well and i
think when he asked about the butt woman we were like what you don't see any actual butts he was
like you guys are out of your fucking minds yeah but because we started at nine
i mean there's no hole i can't agree i didn't see an anus this i mean it's not even this
we to be honest we've only seen two of these movies and um we don't know what the patterns
are we tend to be told about the butts okay oh. I guess it wouldn't be as obvious to you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And Cuba as well.
I feel like, yeah, we're going to Cuba.
I want to see some butts.
Yeah.
It's Cuba.
Yeah.
Well, I'm going to go to Cuba and not see an ass.
You know, we got coffee and sugar and classic 1950s American cars and butts.
Well, I mean, what's your read on the butts
are you pro or against i think they could probably do without you know at some point you have to let
go of this sort of thing i mean i used to go to trade shows a lot where there were a lot of like
uh i think they were often referred to as glamour models uh there on the show floor that has been
uh lessened over time i think that we're ready
for a movie a fast movie without uh but women or if i could be so bold yeah yeah about some
butt people uh i'm not against it i would i'm ready i'm ready i'll tone i'll start toning now
for fleven i would like the the McElroy's should Flevin return of the butt
it's uh this could be the new
Trolls 2 campaign yeah get
Justin's ass on Flevin
um I like
that Dom is it must have been a relief
to see Dom having fun
for that first five minutes of the movie
he's smiling
he's enjoying himself
it lights the whole thing on fire it's in the movie he's he's smiling yeah he's enjoying himself it lights the whole thing on
fire it's a yeah literally um and i i do also love his cuban look uh which i i would be curious
if you guys have talked about a lot the man's wearing pure white which is a huge bold choice
for a man who lives such a high performance lifestyle i mean this guy's getting a lot of
yeah i put i forced on the the file thing when they're using god's eye to trace them and it
says occupation auto mechanic and that is someone generally who will not wear white
for obvious reasons so maybe this is the first chance he's had to go to wear what his heart desires, which is head-to-toe ivory.
That's Hustler's mindset.
For Dom to still identify as an auto mechanic
when he is clearly an international espionage master,
but in his head he's like,
I'm still just that auto mechanic who came up to East Los Angeles.
That's incredible.
That's why he can do what he can do.
No matter which way his day is going to go, though,
White is the wrong choice for Dom.
If he's going to get out and rip some cars apart,
do some mechanic stuff, bad choice.
If the government calls him up to do some work, bad choice.
You know?
It's tough out there.
You could pee pants once, and that's it for Dom.
No one takes him seriously anymore.
That's a good point.
Okay, first of all, he's not going to pee in his pants.
He might.
He's not going to pee his pants.
He might.
It looks so cold in Russia.
I would absolutely pee my pants.
Now, he wasn't wearing white at that point.
Fair.
Fair dinkum
Hold on Justin
He would pee his pants to keep himself warm?
Absolutely everyone on that shoot
Pee their pants to keep themselves warm
No question
That can't be a true survival thing
It would freeze, it would become cold
It would feel good for a second
Well we're going to have to get a certain senator on our show
To ask them
Because if my Bim bam knowledge is up to date it would feel good for a second well we're going to have to get a certain senator on our show to ask them because
if my
knowledge is up to date I think
Ted Cruz is the expert on this
yeah he pees his pants because he likes the
wet warm feel
another thing I'm just going to
keep going through my highlights of this film
see it with fresh eyes
when he's
talking to Cypher when she's detailing his schedule
this killed me she's detailing his schedule and at one point she says
do you need to go get your two cuban coffees and it's like hey wait you're in cuba
it's just i think it's just coffee right that exchange is oh yeah that's a good point that
exchange is so lame because she's i
think the point of that scene is she's like i'm a hacker i've socially engineered the situation to
get you to come to this exact spot and ask me if i need help with my car and i wore sunglasses
so you wouldn't recognize me and yeah to her credit it fucking worked but she's like this
oh you didn't notice that you had to walk down a different street today
to get your cuban coffee black one sugar right it's like that's a pretty common order that's not
that make it more specific if you're trying to nail home the point that you've been tracking this
guy and putting him on a specific pathway to you with an uncut cigar just one thing to actually
make it seem reference. Reference the fucking
single long-stemmed rose
that he's got
hanging out of his baguette bag.
Again, very quick aside,
we've criticised
the sunglasses
and the costume
for not being that good
of a disguise,
but it didn't just
fool Dominic Toretto
in the world of the movie.
It fooled a doctor.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Zoe couldn't see
without the glasses, though, as well. She took her glasses off, she still wasn't on board. That's true, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Zoe couldn't see without the glasses, though, as well.
She took her glasses off.
She still wasn't on board.
That's how powerful the dreads are.
Wow.
I have never walked around with a paper bag with a baguette extending from the top.
But that just looks like the absolute height, doesn't it?
Doesn't that seem like...
And they were absolutely trying to commit, like, this guy's fucking figured it out, guys.
Look at this baguette emanating from the top of his bag.
After, sorry, but after F9, like nine times of F9, F81, that guy and I have been through, if I've done my math right.
He's been so angry and sad and devoid of emotion.
And to see this motherfucker turn up in whites with a baguette hanging out of a bag.
Maximum holiday mode.
Couldn't get more holiday mode.
I was so happy for him.
He's on his honeymoon.
This is why he's in white.
This is why he's in a great mood.
I've got to say, I don't think I've had a baguette poking out of a bag with other things.
I've carried a baguette in my hand inside of a paper bag.
Have you done that?
Yeah.
But, like, no one. I mean, I don't look. I just look like i'm buying a bag yeah that's not a delight you know what i mean like i'm not having
a delightful time the bag has to emanate from the back from this there's a difference there's
a difference between carrying a single bag yeah there's a difference absolutely my imagining is
it's actually quite unwieldy and you know what it's one of those things that looks a lot better
than it is it's probably rolling off your shoulder it's probably tearing fraying the
top edge of the paper bag yeah that is embarrassing yeah if it splits the bag with its incredible
crust what else what the fuck is it with this episode in brief if that happens to dominic
torrento the big it splits that paper bag he's carrying through Cuba,
what else falls out?
What's he got in there?
It falls out.
He's so sad he pees his pants.
That's it.
That's the game.
That's the game over. If you see him and then he bends over to pick it up, he splits his pants.
And that's how we get our butt person.
It's Vin's butt
He bends down to put on some adult nappies
Which he carries around
That's the secret of the Fast and Furious franchise
Dominic Torito wears adult nappies
Man
Yeah
He's allowed
Yeah
I started criticism
Sure
At his age
I just think
You go ahead
It's weird that in the race, in that fun early race,
that someone throws a motorcycle at his car, isn't it?
That seems inefficient.
It seems like there's cheaper ways to get that done.
There's other heavy stuff, right, other than a motorcycle that you have.
It does look cool, though, to use a whole vehicle as a projectile which is something
that they return to with the zombie cars but yeah it's a it is a wildly inefficient way to slow down
someone in a race is to just sacrifice your own motorcycle but god damn it just mcelroy if it
doesn't look very cool it's great it's great yeah infinite resource of vehicles for all the
characters in these films yeah
Vin's Dodge Charger gets so beat up
in that final sequence when he
clears the submarine and it falls part of the explosion
like it gets lit up in the air
it rotates it's a write off
but it reappears in F9
yeah I feel like it's like
the ship of Theseus
he probably grabs the number plate and then gets
a new charger and just
fucking just be glad that you're not forced to watch like a uh a reintroduction of the car in
every single film like a hero shot of the we fixed this up for you we thought you could use it
like they could easily be a benchmark yeah yeah you don't need the, you don't need the backstory.
It's just, you know,
they fixed it.
Justin, I need to ask you this.
What was your shining light
of the movie? What was a part of this
film? The whole thing. It seemed like the whole thing
was enjoyable for this guy. Yeah, but you gotta pick a
specific bit that you
genuinely were thrilled to see on this,
your third watch of f8 of the
um there's a lot that's really good in the in that in the in the zombie car sequence early on
the zombie car hits a cop and the cop falls over the car in such a bizarre way that he
he continues to maintain diagonal lines yeah but he just sort of
like like a tetris block kind of like rotates over the car it's bizarre it's like halfway between he
rag dolls but he is also uh um weirdly stiff and to me that reads as like every time i see that i'm
like that guy got fucked up but that guy got absolutely demoed by that vehicle.
I hope he's dead, to be honest,
because the damage that would do to your hip and spine,
like, undeniably he'd be a quadriplegic if he lived.
I think the realization that I had in this film that delighted me,
and it really hammers home in the jason statham
sequence but in the on the plane but um the people who made this movie i'm sure there were parents
among them but they do not know how any of that stuff worked i mean none of it for starters she
didn't name the baby yeah she just didn't name this dude.
In the Fast and Furious universe, it's very important that dad names the baby.
I love that as a rule.
That's our culture.
That's our heritage in the universe.
And then later on, Dom, a new dad.
So, I mean, fair enough.
Maybe he doesn't understand how one feels about being a parent.
But he tells Cypher, you should kiss my son. And it it's like you probably don't want this bad person to do that yeah that
doesn't sound as threatening as you maybe want it to like please go kiss my baby son it is a weird
little tickle i kind of get like they sort of justify it but it is a fucking weird thing to say to someone who who and that is after she's
murdered the mother for sure 100 so like 100 come on what is it i i actually i mean i must have
missed this maybe six times what is the qualification for the so he says uh next time i can't remember
how he puts it but he's like next time you see my baby make sure you give him a kiss because he's the only reason you and your men are still alive on this plane yeah i mean um yeah still don't get a
fucking murderer to kiss your baby and don't ask a murderer to kiss your baby yeah but yes it's
great of all the all the baby stuff and like a lack of parenting knowledge how fucking good is
the statham plane fight scene where he's got a baby and a bass in there and just the best punch he's nailing it and he's giving he gives so many looks to the baby
that are in terms of charisma light years beyond what vin diesel is capable of emoting like it
really it really makes these movies work when you have someone that has his like he can give looks
to the baby that just that just kill and like uh and he's also great in action choreography like he looks great
you believe he does all his own stuff i mean i don't know if it's true he does but i believe
yeah yeah like i vin diesel was so worried about the rock stealing this franchise from out under
him i think he needs to look after the silent threat, Jason Statham.
What a fucking coup it would be if this classic kind of, you know,
like I know it's a very international franchise, but at its core,
it's a very American set of movies suddenly being under the stewardship
of Jason Statham.
I wouldn't have liked that.
Yeah, what a delight that would be.
It would be so cool. To have Hollywood tough guy Jason Statham finally What a delight that would be. It would be so cool.
To have Hollywood tough guy Jason Statham finally get a shot,
a crack at the big trophy.
A crack at the big wheel is what they call it.
Maybe that's what the point of Hobson Shore was.
I haven't seen it, but just knowing it exists to test the waters
of The Rock leading the team from now on,
but maybe they were testing the waters of Jason Statham.
Who knows?
It's probably cheaper than The Rock, if I had to guess.
I don't know how that stuff works, but I'm betting.
Yeah.
How do you guys feel about, you're in a very unique position,
how do you guys feel about the way that these films
handle the absence of Brian,
of Brian's performer.
It's been an odyssey of discovery, this particular movie,
because for some reason I thought that Paul Walker
was only in the first two movies.
And we had a friend of the podcast, Joseph Moore,
on one of the episodes for this particular movie,
and he said, no brian's in seven and that to me that's like that's really wet my appetite for uh for the
seventh film and all the way down from there so it's sort of interesting because i do notice now
when they say like the first introduction of brian or acknowledgement of him is when they're
they're up against and they're battling and one of them says we should we could call brian and mia and michelle adriga says no we can't bring them
into this or something but that's so that's like the first acknowledgement that brian is no longer
part of the the family and the fans watching obviously know that's the first acknowledgement
that brian is is dead i mean it well it feels it isn't it isn't, it isn't though. Or not Brian, Paul Walker. I do.
Yeah.
To your direct question,
Justin,
I think it's fucking weird.
They bring him up.
I think they did the perfect departure.
I remember seeing,
uh,
seven at the cinema because I was like,
this is the one where Paul Walker died.
So this feels like a,
you know,
this is a big moment.
I want to see this.
And when he drives away into the sunset,
I'm like,
perfect.
May he never be referenced again.
Cause this is a very tasteful way
to allow his character to exit.
And then we've got fucking references to him,
maybe coming up later.
And then in F9,
his goddamn car pulls up
to the final sequence
when they're at the barbecue,
as if we're about to get a scene
where we're going to see him.
The dude passed away.
It seems, at a minimum,
deeply disrespectful. and if not just
fucking awkward wow we don't have the yeah i don't have the closeness to uh to paul walker
that these cats had so obviously there's some sort of internal rationale behind it because it feels
extremely sweaty the first one like when they're like okay he we want to keep brian and mia out of
this okay that's fine but then you don't invite him to the rooftop barbecue where you're rechristening
you're relaunching this baby as brian like you're you don't brian couldn't make it it seems like
brian could swing by for that mr nobody who Nobody, who doesn't even have a name, gets an invite.
They can get to him to invite him to the barbecue.
But Brian couldn't make it.
How would you deal with that as a filmmaker?
How would you show that?
How would you put...
I've forgotten.
What's his name?
The character's name.
Brian.
Brian.
Fucking hell.
I am losing my mind.
I need to go to bed.
How would you put Brian in that scene at the end?
I wouldn't.
I wouldn't.
He's...
I wouldn't.
You have to put, like, he and me...
But I...
You know, I understand.
I miss him when we're doing different crimes,
but he loves researching the plant light of Antarctica,
and that's his real passion,
and it's a shame I'll never see him again but what a sweet guy he is
if he has to stay alive that's fine
but like
it just feels more maudlin
in a way like it feels weirdly
like more unsettling
I feel like to try to like keep
him alive within the franchise
because it feels like
as you guys have alluded to
it feels like a you guys have has have alluded to it feels like a contract
negotiation tactic with god like if we tease it enough paul walker will just cut like if like
you see that in other films we're like we'll keep him alive in case like his star falls and we can
afford him again right that's not the case in this scenario this is this movie came in 2017, which I'm just doing approximate math in my head.
It was around the time they launched the Tupac hologram at Coachella.
So the executive producers, they're running sums.
They're saying, we need two more movies spread across five, six years.
We'll have the technology.
Oh, my God.
I would not be surprised to see a digital representation of Brian appear.
An F10. An F10. 110%. I would not be surprised to see a digital representation of Brian appear. And if 10 percent, you know, the you know, the trope in political movies and TV shows where it's like you see the attack ad that they'll that they'll never run.
But they keep it in like a locked drawer, like put that away.
Don't ever let it.
I feel like Vin is doing that with every film.
He's like hanging over some computer guy's shoulder.
Like, let's see
it play the footage play the brian footage let me see how it's looking like no it's not time yet
it's not time it's not it's not ready it would not shock me if if the fast and the furious was
the first movie franchise to start dealing with these legal ramifications of like an actor signing their character rights you know in
perpetuity which does not end at their death i mean they did it with um princess leia right
character syndication inside of uh you know like you you can you can it's like uploading your
consciousness to the cloud but a way shittier it's interesting that you guys opened this
conversation because i genuinely i guess not having seen F7, I just didn't have
that context for, like I
didn't think twice about the acknowledgement of Brian
in this. The only reference
point I have from my own research is
and just like that, when they kept
getting Carrie to text Samantha in London
and I found it so disrespectful.
So I suppose this is like
a worse version of that
and now I feel incensed um it's it's not
literally have to run it through the sex in the city universe the thing of it being about family
is kind of a react like it if my read on it is correct that is part of it but it really hits it
after brian passes because it's like we have to make this about like,
it is about this group of people.
You had,
you can't,
it used to be about the love between Dom and Brian,
right?
Like that's really was at the core of it is that these two guys,
uh,
if you say so,
Justin,
yeah,
Justin guys,
wait till you see it.
It's really nice.
Paul Walker's also just a,
a really fun,
uh,
action movie presence who lightens things up a little bit.
He's, again, more charismatic than Vin.
I'm looking forward to him.
That's not exactly saying a lot.
Damn him a faint praise, perhaps.
Man, you're really anti-Vin, huh, Justin?
No, I'm pro-Vin.
I think that he's exactly great.
Well, I want you to say two nice things about Vin Diesel.
What does he do?
He is.
He has been in a lot of movies.
He's been in a lot of movies.
He does have the physicality that can kind of make you believe
that he could flatten a room full of people.
That would make you believe that he could flatten a room full of people.
He also has a, he does, speaking as someone who just watched Ant-Man and Quantumania,
where not a single person in that can deliver like a hard action line, you know, like a let's get them without like it sounding really tinny.
I think Vin can sell lines that would in the mouths of others be preposterous.
But things like you just took your foot off the tiger's neck.
Vin has the gravitas to sell something like that.
I'm not sure anybody actually else in the franchise ever could get away with.
anybody actually else in the franchise ever could get away with.
Even The Rock, I don't think, could get away with you took your foot off a tiger's neck.
No, I think you're right.
The Rock has his own versions of those lines
that are within the pantheon of his capabilities.
But he says some bitch twice in this movie,
and he delivers on it. Tia Crumpet's drinking some bitch twice in this movie, and he delivers on it.
Tea and crumpets drinking some bitch.
Some bitch.
That hits a bit of a, for me, I love The Rock,
but even that's a little bit like, okay.
There is an aftertaste to it, for sure, when you see it.
But the person who I was shocked at,
who I think can't deliver
their lines and i think this is just testament to how dog shit the dialogue written for this
character is is charlize they're on like the the things that they make cypher say out loud in this
movie really hit me this watch it is wall to wall very bad bad. Very bad dialogue.
And I feel like she is trying.
And they put big-ass blonde dreads on her.
It seems like someone hated Charlize Theron.
She angered someone in production.
And they're exacting their revenge through this movie.
I think she's having fun.
It's all nonsense.
The lines are all nonsense.
They're not set in reality.
Do you think she pulls it off, though?
I've noticed the dialogue's bad,
but only with repeated viewings.
It's never occurred to me that her performance is bad.
It would never occur to me that I could notice Charlize Theron is doing bad acting
in a Fast and the Furious film
when there's so much competition.
It's hard.
Ludicrous.
I continue to take issue with him.
The line, it just reeked of like the
10th read when he couldn't quite get it right when scott eastwood you know little nobody says
uh we're going to russia take whatever you want the all bets are off yeah and then ludicrous
and it goes all bets are off or something i'm like that's me doing an offline for someone else's audition it's so bad little nobody is fun because uh i i the
first couple times i watched it i couldn't figure out like what is this guy doing there like i at
first i thought like maybe like he seems like just redundant with kurt right yeah and at first i
thought it was like again like maybe Kurt gets too expensive.
You got you got little nobody in the wings.
You know what I mean?
You've established him a rapport. But I think it's so that they can continue to keep some sort of semblance of cred as anti-authority when they're like in a secret bunker.
They're not going to challenge Kurt Russell.
They all like Kurt Russell.
Right. So they can't be
anti-authority with him but if you have another level of authority between them
they can rag on that guy without and still seem like i think that's a genius take as someone who's
not smart not seen the paul walker movies as well he's spiritually keeping some of the paul
walker juice alive as well right like he was friends with Paul Walker. Who? Scott Eastwood.
What?
The guy who plays the nobody.
Yeah, they were friends in real life. Is he in the other movies?
No, I don't know, but he's like,
you can be friends with someone.
Oh, in real life?
You're allowed to be friends with someone.
You can be friends with people in any movie.
Sorry, this is brand new information to me.
Is this definitely, they were friends?
Yeah.
How far out?
Oh yeah, so did you know
that that's Clint Eastwood's son, Justin?
I didn't, I didn't, no, I didn't. Do you like that information's Clint Eastwood's son, Justin? I didn't know.
Do you like that information?
Does that turn you on?
I don't know what to do with it, guys.
Clint Eastwood had him when he was like 58.
We looked it up a couple episodes ago.
Fuck yeah.
And Eastwood had him, which is so, I celebrate Clint.
That's a tough 10 months and good on him for taking that on.
And his age especially.
Carrying a baby to term is a challenge.
I reckon he had one swimmer left, you know,
like one strong swimmer.
One real stoic swimmer.
Like all of the other guys have expelled him.
He's like, I'm waiting.
I'm going to get through.
And he did.
And look at him.
He's in a
fucking fast and the furious movie hey guy we're gonna run out of shining light yeah i do i wrote
it down oh good for you on your script it's part of the script yeah it's all scripted uh i mean
they were actually the my genuine shining light was because it came on the back of a line i don't
think statham nails which is when he sees the rock in prison. And he goes, there's X amount of challenge to get out.
Better get to digging.
And I just think, I don't like that line.
Yeah, you came around.
No, no, I didn't like it.
But then the rock says something, and then it comes back to Statham.
It just shows you the rock's response.
And then I just heard Statham under his breath throw out a wanker.
He doesn't do it under his breath because he does this.
He does the wanking motion with his hand when he says it. To me it's under his breath because he does this i oh he does the
wanking motion with the same because i'd never clocked it before you know it's like a nice little
new discovery yeah wanker and i'm like nice to hear the word wanker in the world always nice
to hear the word wanker in a british accent like literally born to do it that's how it's meant to
sound oh man my shining light is guy montgomery finding Jason Statham moment as his shining light. They're fucking rules.
I'm team Statham all the way.
I want to watch Crank off the back of watching these movies so many times.
Yeah, I love this.
I want to go back through.
I want to see The Transporter.
You're allowed to.
Maybe we want to watch, yeah.
Start for another 36 hours.
Pure Statham.
Yeah, do it in the spirit of Crank.
Do a Statham marathon.
Statham the day. Yeah. So you do it on Saturdays of crank do a Statham marathon Statham the day
yeah
so you do it on Saturdays
you just watch
Statham the day
you're not allowed to sleep
until you've seen
every single Jason Statham movie
I wonder how many there are
probably not too many
there'll be a lot
there'll be a lot
my Shining Light
this doesn't quite
count I guess
this is also another
it doesn't
my first one
didn't really count
because it was my enjoyment
of you at Shining Light
but I've got to say
watching the first bit of the movie with Zoe was so nice to have someone there with me who wasn't Guy for a change.
It's so grim to watch the movie by yourself in bed.
It was nice to have company for 20 minutes of that experience.
And then what happened?
She read a book.
And I put headphones on.
and then what happened she read a book um yeah uh so the the failure of zoe to recognize that was charlize theron after she took her sunglasses off fucking got me so when chelsea saw charlize
theron she said what year was in the white dress year what year was this movie made and i said 2017
and she said charlie's It's Charlize.
Fucking tricky.
Justin, what do you want to see in this forthcoming F10?
Let's sort of land on this.
Oh, boy.
Do you genuinely want to see Brian?
No, God, please.
God, no.
You brought it up. I actually like the big action, like the spy, you know, James Bond mode of this franchise more than when they try to make it a bit more terrestrial.
I feel like it kind of falls flat.
I like the big action, big fight scenes too I think the one in the prison
the world's weirdest prison
is like that
I like how
I like moments in this franchise
and I hope for a lot of this in F10
when the strength of the characters
it was kind of like cats
how the cats get bigger
or smaller depending on what the scene demands the physical
strength of these guys is kind of like that they just kind of push up the sliders when they need
to throw a man through four other men like yeah you know he could yeah yeah sometimes sometimes
he can do that yeah true i mean i know that they've released the trailer but who's your
dream villain because when you said james bond in my head immediately i thought of like imagine if pierce brosnan was the bad guy oh no no i would
love it no no that's off the world no he's too old now he's taking his career in a kind of lovely
um rialto direction where he's making films for 60 year old couples to go and watch
when they the kids have left home and they want a night out um he's
in a whole different space now we haven't watched the trailer for the new one justin and so don't
can we get can we get tilda is tilda available i feel like tilda could be a believable foe
fuck yeah i'd be all for that that'd be great yeah what walter. What about Walter Goggins? Oh, okay. Who's Walter Goggins?
I love to see Walter Goggins.
I'm always excited to see Walter Goggins on screen.
Walter Goggins, he's from Righteous Gemstones.
Oh, which guy is he in that?
Oh, wait.
I know who he is.
The guy with the fake teeth.
Yeah, yeah.
That guy rules.
He's great.
God damn, that'd be excellent.
He's a delight.
Justin, I know it's time for you to go and tell people how to be a starfish and a sponge or something to that effect.
But it's been such a delight to have you and your genuine enthusiasm for this movie on.
Was that on the record?
Or is that going to make no sense?
I'm directing SpongeBob SquarePants the musical with my wife.
So, yeah, I'm headed out to rehearsal.
I got my wires crossed.
I thought that was.
Yeah, everyone, if you're in West Virginia,
you know what you're doing this summer.
Yeah, see you soon this summer.
Later, months away.
It's not soon.
Super pumped for that.
Justin, thank you very much for joining us and for watching the movie. I love you guys.
Any excuse to talk to you.
That is the only way in which we will ever talk
is on the back end of watching a movie.
In some instances begrudgingly,
or in this instance for you, happily.
No, you guys,
we spent lovely couple days here in the Mountain State.
We had a lovely...
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It was a long time ago.
I keep that picture of you guys in front of Walmart,
each of you wearing your Marshall Thundering Herd caps. I keep that in my
favorite, so it cycles through on my phone every once
in a while.
I will always remember playing flag football,
a McElroy game of flag
football on American Thanksgiving. I thought
that was one of the coolest experiences of my life.
I fucking loved that trip so much.
Going into Kentucky, watching the Macy's Day Parade.
Remember that?
Charlie still remembers that.
Oh, man.
Well, see you soon.
I want to come back.
Come back whenever.
Yeah, you're welcome whenever.
Lots of love.
Bring the kids.
Bring your wives.
It'll be a great time.
We got a guest room.
Sounds good.
I will bring Fast 3.
We'll probably be up to it
at that point in time.
See you, Justin.
Bye, Justin.
Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1