The Worst Idea Of All Time - 23: Tapping Kate Hudson

Episode Date: June 9, 2023

Tim and Guy are on their sixth course of a Furious 7 degustation and while Tim has energy, Guy is starting to feel a little bloated. Timbo is drawing parallels between Dom and Letty's marriage na...vigating amnesia with the 1987 Kurt Russell/Goldie Hawn rom-com Overboard. Both of the boiz consider the consequences of getting close to a celebrity (Kate Hudson for example) and overplaying your hand by physically tapping her. The episode ends with some genuine questions around the pregnancy timeline of Dominic Toretto's son (from F8) and also how much time lapses between Fast and Furious movies. On the whole, a fantastic episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Music Music Music Music Music Music Music Music
Starting point is 00:00:16 Music Music Music Music Music Music 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 No one told me we got a little bitch in the room. What are you talking about? I'm talking to you.
Starting point is 00:00:33 What? What do you mean? I don't know. What's the meaning of this? I just felt like saying... What's going on here? I just felt like saying... You wanted to come in hot with something, didn't you? You thought you had something.
Starting point is 00:00:43 I don't have any... Take your fucking hat off. Have a little respect. Absolutely not absolutely not i'm gonna wear as many layers as i can yeah it is so cold in here it's crazy fuck it is cold it's uh i'm wearing a hoodie over a sweater over a t-shirt like i've got merino under this hoodie yeah and i'm still chilly i got my outdoor jacket on indoors it's 1004 on a monday the king's birthday yeah happy birthday charlie couple of kings right here in the hot seat having watched um fast furious seven sorry sorry everyone i'd like to apologize to everyone because guy and I just watched the entirety of the end credits For some reason this time
Starting point is 00:01:27 We couldn't help ourselves So many people went in to make this movie That we owe it to them To see their name come up It's a remarkably long list And I personally would like to shout out Hat Trick Catering For Craft Services You guys clearly had a hard job hat trick catering for craft services
Starting point is 00:01:45 you guys clearly had a hard job you got a lot of buff men to feed with a lot of dietries I'll bet a lot of dietries Mr. Johnson Mr. Statham well now I feel bad for saying that
Starting point is 00:02:04 Mr. Diesel Mr. Dieselatham. Well, now I feel bad for saying that. Mr. Diesel. Mr. Diesel sounds fucking stupid. No, he sounds all right. If we're doing that, I'd like to shout out Rich King. That can't be the name. Is it Rich King? It seems crazy. Rich King casting.
Starting point is 00:02:19 They cast all the extras. And I don't know if they got them this pumped up or someone made them this pumped up, but the extras in these movies are pumped up. Your favorite extra was asleep this time. Oh, yeah. It's the opposite of pumped up. I'm more thinking of the stage, like at the race wars.
Starting point is 00:02:37 I'm thinking about the extras at the race wars. Now, hold on. Let's give a lot of context. No, no, no, no. It's a dangerous sentence. Let's power on. Yeah. No, no, no. It's a dangerous sentence. Let's power on. Yeah. At the start of the movie, Vin Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez are driving through the desert.
Starting point is 00:02:53 And Michelle says, where are we going? And he says, we started this. And then there's a sign that says race wars. She said, did we used to go to this? He said, go to this. We started this. We made this. We made this. Something like that.
Starting point is 00:03:06 If I'd like to, you know, I'd like to read the origin story. Oh, for race? We might see it. It might be in five. Through a Molotov cocktail. Through one? Yeah. Oh, that's tricky because it's a homonym wait homonym homophone spelt differently
Starting point is 00:03:30 though buy me dinner first i don't know man here's here's something it's not just cold here's something it's not even that late but that movie really was that that was like trying to resist a tranquilizer for two hours and 20 minutes. Yeah, that fucked you up, eh? I was all right with it. And here's what I've realized. It's a lot better not watching it on a cell phone, and I need to respect cinema more. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:54 Proper sound system, proper screen. In one sitting. Is that better or worse? It's better. Yeah. It's better. You get it done. It all kind of makes more sense.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Together. It was nice to do it together. That made sense to you? it made it made a little sense the third act doesn't make any sense of like why no it does you the problem with this movie is you watch it like i was all good until we get to downtown los angeles for the drone fight for the fucking predator fight up and because it's so this is the fucking thing with Fast and Furious Ended at the end of the second act And I'm kind of there for it the whole time
Starting point is 00:04:29 But then maybe if they did that each time Then I would be like What is up with the second act Ended after the first act Okay Forecast the run time Tim We've got one more screening of Fast 7
Starting point is 00:04:43 Then we've got six other Fast and Furious movies to go. I reckon the next screening of Furious 7 will be two hours and 20 minutes. Okay, fantastic. And then move one screening ahead of that. Two hours and 20 minutes. The first screening of Fast 6? Yeah. Two hours and 20 minutes.
Starting point is 00:04:59 Yes. Okay. Fast 5? Two hours and 20 minutes. Fast 4? Not sure. 4, I think they're still figuring it out But I reckon they crossed the two hour threshold
Starting point is 00:05:10 So I'm going to put my money on two hours and one minute Okay Three Three is tricky I reckon slightly less like an hour fifty five Okay Two Two We're looking at a ninety five minute film Okay And one I reckon slightly less, like an hour 55. Okay. Two? Two, we're looking at a 95-minute film.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Okay. And one? 95. 90 to 95. So it goes 90 to 95, 95, one hour and 50 minutes, was it, for three? I think that's what you said. And you said two hours and you crossed the two hour threshold yeah and then you're doing 220s basically yeah 220s the whole rest of it what
Starting point is 00:05:51 do you think of that i think they get they get um shorter faster okay i think the first ones yeah i like i like 95 for the first one and i don't mind it for the second either. And then I reckon it's like one hour 50. That's basically what I said. Yeah, it's more or less what you said. Here's what I'd like to bring up. Kurt Russell is in a film called Overboard. I do not know why I have seen this movie, but I have. It's him and Goldie Hawn.
Starting point is 00:06:23 It might be before they got married. I don't know. It might be before they got married I don't know it might be where they met you might be watching Hollywood like Hollywood history chemistry it's possible do you know
Starting point is 00:06:31 there's a thing it's called I believe the word is showmance there is a natural not always but there is a
Starting point is 00:06:40 I've not experienced it there's a chemistry there's an electricity that occurs between Romantic leads You know Even if they might I remember getting told about this
Starting point is 00:06:49 In high school drama Partners and family Really Yeah I was like look out for that Because were you doing a show I was at a co-ed school We all got told
Starting point is 00:06:56 You look out You co-eds What You don't want to get too horny It's not real This is You think it's real It's not real
Starting point is 00:07:03 Sometimes it's real But then Goldie Horn and Kurt Russell Are the gold standard It's. It's not real. You think it's real, it's not real. Sometimes it's real. Goldie Horn and Kurt Russell are the gold standard. It's real. That shit's rock solid. Okay, you're telling me, yeah, what, you're telling me Kate Hudson's not real?
Starting point is 00:07:12 Person talking to Tim in drama at high school? Yeah. Kate Hudson's... If only I'd known. She's flesh and bone. Yeah. She's real.
Starting point is 00:07:20 You tap her, your fist won't go through her. It'll like, you know, it'll be like that. Yeah. You'll go to court. Yeah, that's... I mean, it's true. You tap her, you tap her, your fist won't go through her. It'll be like that. Yeah. You'll go to court. Yeah, that's true. First things first.
Starting point is 00:07:30 I'm impressed you got that close to her. And that will never happen again. You're tapping Kate Hudson? You're going away for that. Damn. Sorry, man. I'm so sorry, man, but you're going away for that. You get so close.
Starting point is 00:07:43 You're away for a while. You get so close. You'll be back. But it's going to take going away for that You get so You're away for a while You get so close You'll be back But it's going to take a while For you to get out The reputations Overboard is a movie Which follows in some ways
Starting point is 00:07:53 I just feel like You know you spend your whole life Trying to get near Kate Hudson And then you tap her Yeah Do you think that's a waste? Yeah What would you rather
Starting point is 00:08:00 A grab or something? No Talk? Yeah A chat? Hey Kate how you going? Is that or something? No. Talk? Yeah. A chat? Hey, Kate, how you going? Is that how you'd open up? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:09 It's probably the best shot, actually. I feel... Everyone overcooks it, eh? Yeah, I think... With celebs. I think... I'll tell you about some obscure fact that I researched about you on, like, just fucking chill, man.
Starting point is 00:08:20 Talk like a normal person. Human being. You say their name, so you acknowledge you know who they are, so there's no residual weirdness about whether or not you're just some friendly stranger yeah and you go hey tim how you going hey good good how are you yeah i'm good too thanks i had a fantastic morning tea oh that's awesome do i know you no we don't know each other but i know who you are oh okay i okay. I'm also not bad chat. I believe it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:48 Where are you from? Is it an accent I hear? Yeah, yeah. Are you from Australia or something? Oh, you dirty dog. What are you, from Canada? Oh, this guy. What are you doing here?
Starting point is 00:09:00 Oh, I just sort of hang out. Right. You see, is that Kate Hudson over there? Yeah, that's my wife. I'm going to go over and tap her and wish you wouldn't watch this and that's how you blow it that's how you get arrested that simple everything you can become all of us like one minute you're having a fantastic flowing conversation with kurt russell next minute you're getting hauled away By the Los Angeles Police Department Just remember Specifically trained on how to deal with People who fuck with celebs
Starting point is 00:09:28 Yeah It's gotta be true right I love hearing The word celebs I think it's a funny word It's a fun word to say I saw a Tim Keys show in Melbourne And he said celebs
Starting point is 00:09:40 And he said He was talking The show was all about lockdown And he goes to Australia, he goes, hey Australia, did you guys lockdown your celebs? And the crowd went,
Starting point is 00:09:48 yeah. He goes, you can't lockdown your celebs. It's more fun in a British accent. Yeah. You reminded me of Richard E. Grant when you said that just then. Hey.
Starting point is 00:10:01 When you were doing an impression of Tim Keys. There are worse people to be compared to. Heaps. Jack the Ripper for a start. Yeah, there's one. I had worse ones in my head. We won't go there. Worse than Jack the Ripper?
Starting point is 00:10:13 Rolf Harris, bro. Check it out. Is he worse? I mean, what's the fucking, how do you measure? How do you measure monster against monster? Oh, no, no, not against Jack the Ripper. Worse than Richard E. Grant. Oh, yeah. For sure. Okay, yeah. no. Not against Jack the Ripper. Worse than Richard E. Grant. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:25 For sure. Okay, yeah. If we were doing a pyramid. Yeah. Ralph Harris is nowhere. Wait, which is the top and what's the bottom? The top is the least monstrous, so they have the least monster in them.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Okay. And the base is the most monstrous. Well, that sucks because the base gets wider as we go down, so you're sort of saying that most people no i'm just saying that the base represents the volume of monster do you know i saw a ralph harris book down at the there's a shop down at the end of the street they just sell like kids toys and stuff i saw it there it was actually the day that he died but before i had found out that he died and i almost bought the book to be like, it's weird that this exists. Then I was like,
Starting point is 00:11:06 what are you doing? Why do that? So there's a woman who's just written a book. I'm not advocating for anything positive about Rolf Harris, but she just wrote a book called, I don't know if it's called Canceled.
Starting point is 00:11:18 It seems like a bad name, but it looks interesting. I was reading a review in the New York Times. It's quite a thorny book about the relationship to art and the artist. Oh, I see. And I thought, I'm interested in that. Are we as a society not ready to separate ourselves
Starting point is 00:11:33 from the genius of tie me kangaroo down, mate, in pursuit of wanting to protect children? First of all, it's called tie your kangaroo down sport. Oh, yeah, right, right. tie your kangaroo down is it sport oh yeah right right um so i guess i'm not trying to defend the legacy and yet and yet here we are i'm enough of a pedant to correct fucking incorrect lyrics no those are two different things that's fair hey but it's a great way to pin someone get like you know you know the book um my my difficulty it's my struggle you fucking asshole he spent all his time in prison writing that get the title correct
Starting point is 00:12:17 prison can really turn turn a person's life around and turn a page but what i was trying to get to is that kurt russell is in a movie called Overboard with Goldie Hawn. And the plot is in some ways similar and opposite to Furious 7. Wow, Tim, that's pretty confusing because you said it's both similar and opposite. It was like, you know, they flip it. So in this movie, Letty has amnesia and she got married to Dom, but he doesn't remind her of that fact. And then overboard, Kate Hudson, I think she's really wealthy and super beautiful.
Starting point is 00:12:53 Yeah. And she gets struck on the- You mean Goldie Hawn. Sorry, Goldie Hawn. She gets struck on the head, I think, by one of the- Kate Hudson is really wealthy and beautiful, though, by the way. Not for nothing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:04 Her parents are Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. But the thing is, if you met her, you'd be so tempted just to tap her because she's so wealthy and so beautiful. And Guy, I cannot stress this enough, is saying that in a literal sense, just to tap her hand. Oh my God, it's you. Not tap her, like, you know. Oh, like colloquialism Or have sex with
Starting point is 00:13:25 Yeah yeah I mean look You know We're all We're only human So in this movie Kurt Russell pretends That they're married
Starting point is 00:13:33 But if you get in that position Don't do it Don't do what? Tap her Yeah No In either You can make
Starting point is 00:13:41 Well I mean like If it's happening Yeah of course If it's on it's on You can make polite conversation Hell You know either. You can make. Well, I mean, like, if it's happening. Yeah, of course. If it's on, it's on. You can make polite conversation. Hell, you know. You can, you can, you know.
Starting point is 00:13:51 If you guys are out, you know. If you're out, yeah. If you're out. Come on. If you're both out. Yeah. If you're both out there. If you're having a good time.
Starting point is 00:14:01 And Kate Hudson's like, you want to come back to my place? Tap Kate Hudson. Yeah. In whatever way is cool for both of you guys. By all means. We don't hate to get in the way. We don't hate to yuck anyone's yum. We don't hate to get in your way of having a good time.
Starting point is 00:14:15 But what we're saying is, if she doesn't know what's going on, you go up to her and you just like, you know, tap her on the person. 34 years figuring out a way to get close to Kate Hudson just to have a chance of talking to her. You're going to blow it if you tap her. Don't blow it by tapping her. You're going to blow it if you tap it. Don't blow it by tapping it. You're going to fuck it up. So what are you telling me? Kurt Russell isn't married to Goldie Hawn in this movie?
Starting point is 00:14:30 No. They're actors. Yeah. Portraying different characters from themselves. I'm talking about the characters. They're not married. They don't know each other. Kurt Russell's character, I think, figures out that she's rich,
Starting point is 00:14:43 but also I think just sees that she's rich but also i think it just sees that she's very beautiful she gets struck on the head i believe causing her to have amnesia and then he convinces her that they're married and have been together for years this is this is from an era of movie making that is just not alive anymore the main thing i remember about that movie i think it was just playing on tv one time Maybe I was like sick Or something And it was just on The theme song Fucking Slaps
Starting point is 00:15:09 How did it go? I'm gonna find it Was it like Yacht Rock? Um To me it kinda Uh From memory It was almost
Starting point is 00:15:16 It was sort of like Playstation 1 era Like Crash Bandicoot Kinda Drive How did the Crash Bandicoot Music go? I can't do it
Starting point is 00:15:23 But it was One of the guys from Devo Composed all the music For Crash Bandicoot music go? I can't do it. But it was one of the guys from Devo composed all the music for Crash Bandicoot. I remember hearing that. I would remember the soundtrack if I heard it. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun Are they making new Crash Bandicoots? This is overboard. Wow. Hey, pretty lady. It's me, your husband.
Starting point is 00:15:54 What are you doing out here on the deck? You should come back to our shared room because we're married. I'm Kurt Russell. That's Goldie Hawn and this is Overboard it's pretty fun one day we'll have a daughter named Kate Hudson
Starting point is 00:16:16 you can watch her movies hell you can read an interview but if you meet her don't tap her come back out positive key change magic chords here we go oh no yet we're still in it Oh, wow. Can I ask, at the end of the movie, what happens?
Starting point is 00:16:59 I think they fall in love for realsies. It came out in 87, according to this. That movie's older than me. That movie's about your age. movie's about your age That's right That's fucking right We're aging So are you Don't fucking laugh
Starting point is 00:17:12 Everyone's aging Kate Hudson even's aging Vin Diesel's aging I mean if you watch If the flashback at the end of this movie's to be believed He's aged He sort of is aged I would almost say, the least.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Because he's always been bald. Everyone has aged. Larry David's a guy who's not aged. That's true. Patrick Stewart's the other classic example. Your son has aged. Yes, he'll do that. And he's still so young.
Starting point is 00:17:37 Yeah. But he's aged. They age the most. The little ones. Yeah. This is, I think, my favorite joke from your show this year what uh oh it's weird to butcher someone else's joke in front of them uh my stepdaughter was five and now she's seven i have also aged by an equal increment of time yeah they grow up so she grows
Starting point is 00:18:01 up so fast but she'll never catch me that's right yeah it's so good yeah but she'll never catch me. That's right, yeah. It's so good. But she's aged too. Yeah. It's funny when people who are young age, because aging has older connotations. You think of a family member you've not seen in 10 years, then you see them and you think, oh, you have aged. I'm thinking of an older family member you've not seen in 10 years then you see me you think oh you have aged i'm thinking of an older family member but like you know remy's he's almost two little kids get older older people age it's like how we fall over but old people have a fall yeah similar sort of
Starting point is 00:18:40 which makes it sound like we are deliberately falling over which i'm not doing we're having a foot we're inviting one in we're having a'm not doing We're having a fall We're inviting one in We're having a fall No wait They're having a fall Well they're better hosts You know It was a different generation
Starting point is 00:18:51 Yeah that's true We're used to having people over Mate come on in Silent generation Yeah Yeah yeah The chat The chat's disastrous
Starting point is 00:18:59 They're over there fucking Tapping old celebrities Why was that generation silent? Because um They just had to Because all their parents went to war And then when they came back they were like Shut the fuck up dude
Starting point is 00:19:09 Headed up to here First the Germans, now you Good god, get out of it There must have been a time When they started teaching German in schools I'm thinking like the 60s And there would have been parents I thought you meant like in the 60s And there would have been Oh right And there would have been parents being like
Starting point is 00:19:25 I thought you meant like in the 40s Like an insurance policy No no no We don't know which way the wind's blowing on this one guys No no I mean after They seem feisty And then in the 60s Someone's like
Starting point is 00:19:33 Hey you know we could teach German in schools And everyone would be like That's true actually Because German and French are always the popular ones Yeah So there's a time when they were like Do you reckon we called Do you reckon that's old?
Starting point is 00:19:49 That's got to be old right Like pre-World War II for example That we were being taught German? And French Like German and French seem to be two that get taught all the time No I think we must have been introducing German to schools after Do you think? Well in some ways they did win after all.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Wow. If that's the case. It's a minor victory. It's super minor. But one worth discussing all the same. It would be rude to not bring it up on a podcast about Furious 7. Yeah. How many times have we seen this film now?
Starting point is 00:20:22 Six. So just one more to go yeah did you notice anything new this time in the film that we watched uh i heard vin diesel when he's launching his car at um moses's helicopter he says don't miss under his breath i uh i clocked a call back i clocked a call back that you'd seen earlier when Jack, the young boy, who turns in a phenomenal performance in his first scene, when he claps, he says, Yay, we made it.
Starting point is 00:20:51 The next time you see him, he's playing with a little red car on top of a box that's been delivered from Japan by a deck at shore. I think the play is really unconvincing there. I think he does a bad job. And then later on, he's sort of playing with the car and the he's in the car seat he's playing with the car and he's making it fly and then his dad brian paul walker says cars don't fly and i heard that call back this time later on when
Starting point is 00:21:14 vincy's about to drive the car out of the wiz califa says dom cars don't fly and i i got that i thought that was nice It feels like Sort of like It's insane to me You haven't picked that up earlier This feels like Do you know what? Here's an analogy
Starting point is 00:21:32 Go on Reject it Have you heard of Because we're gorging ourselves On this movie right? Yeah nice Have you heard of We've never conceived of it that way
Starting point is 00:21:42 But we are A degustation It's like a Seven course meal Sure So you'd have like a Yeah, nice. Have you heard of... We've never conceived of it that way, but we are. A degustation. It's like a seven-course meal. Sure. So you'd have like a... You'd have a start... You'd have something that's not even like... They wouldn't even call it an entree.
Starting point is 00:21:53 You'd get given a little something at the start and then you'd have another little thing. It's like seven little meals. And it would include a dessert. And so, to me, it feels like... We've been through before today... I thought you were going to do a pun on Dickard Station, because Dickard Shaw is the main bear guy in this.
Starting point is 00:22:09 Dickard Station would be like, I don't know, a sausage in a pint. We see him in Hobbs and Shaw. We see his diet. Or when the UK tried to make a PlayStation. Yeah. Didn't come out too good. Sausage in a pint station. So. I want a playstation
Starting point is 00:22:28 we've got a playstation at home part two being as a mansion of pine that's actually one of my favourite meme formats that we've got this at home whatever it is they're always funny
Starting point is 00:22:38 some meme formats they just rip we went twitter used to every there'd be a joke every day there'd be a joke format every day. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:22:46 It's so dead now. No one's hanging out there. Where's everyone hanging out? It's so, it's, it's so funny how much Elon fucked it. Yeah. Cause he did this thing where now like you only see,
Starting point is 00:22:57 um, verified people, right? But also the only people who will pay money, uh, people who want pay money People who Want to suck Elon's dick So you just
Starting point is 00:23:09 He's constructed this fucking website Where you're just seeing fans of his And they're the worst people in the world It's nuts They love him though, they are fans It's nuts man I think everyone's on TikTok now I don't want to do that.
Starting point is 00:23:25 No, we're too old for it, man. We are aging. So we've had five, before today we've had five courses. And they're all like that, you know, you like some more than others. I remember there were a few courses I thought, this is amazing. You know, I was pointing at that dish. I was saying, this is one of the best dishes I've ever had. Two courses ago.
Starting point is 00:23:42 Yeah. And then now this is the last savory dish before sweet this is the last and it's a bit bigger it's more substantial right and i'm already feeling so full and it comes out and it's like i appreciate a lot of people put a lot of effort they thought of it they fucking cooked it like yeah i you know there's a thousand people you know put time and energy into making this dish. And I'm sitting at the table. I'm thinking, I don't want this.
Starting point is 00:24:11 It's just slowing me down. I'm eating it and I feel full. It pains me to watch you talk about this. I know there's more and I'm so full. He's trying to walk through syrup. I just want to say, hey, I'm actually already full. Yeah. But the kitchen's like, look, you ordered the seven courses. Well, I was going to tell a little story, which you, I think, already know this story, maybe.
Starting point is 00:24:34 I'm sure I will have brought up on the pot at some point. But it's funny because this reminds me of the day that I proposed to my now wife, Zoe, when we were in Kyoto, Japan. And I think this might be the only time I've ever eaten at a Michelin star restaurant. So I booked us a meal at a Michelin star seafood restaurant. Yes. And it was like a no shit. I think it might have been nine or 10 courses
Starting point is 00:24:59 degustation menu of seafood. And it was the richest. It was just like roe after sashimi after fucking eggs after eel after and everything was like barely cooked and super fresh and after about three meals three like courses i wanted to vomit not that it was bad but it was just so fucking full on and i just kept bringing shit out and i kept forcing it down my gullet it was bad but it was just so fucking full-on and they just kept bringing shit out and i keep forcing it down my gullet it was a bad scene oh that's all that's awful yeah oh are you comparing zoe to fast seven no the meal
Starting point is 00:25:37 zoe i think i will compare to the fast and the furious did Zoe get through her food alright better than me I think even she struggled by the end but she
Starting point is 00:25:51 she loves seafood and rich food you know this about her yeah I mean loves an oyster I love an oyster too scallops
Starting point is 00:26:00 we could list foods all night what about this I don't know this watch wasn't too bad for me scallops. We could list foods all night. I don't know. This watch wasn't too bad for me. I appreciated the beers you brought around. They were lovely. They really helped, I think.
Starting point is 00:26:14 It was in a big can, big 440 mil, and it was like a 6.8% of memory serves. So that's 2.2 standard drinks. Yeah. And that seemed like just the right amount it was through two hours and 20 minutes of then maybe that's the rule you need like a drink an hour every 10 minutes is that a sip oh no because time's not in base 10 it's like fucking 60 yeah fuck the time's a mess it is man we need
Starting point is 00:26:39 to get that on the metric system yeah it's like the americans got their fucking grubby little fingers in time did that one wow yeah i feel it's fair to blame them do you know actually let me say this man we've actually been beating up on the americans way too much on our podcast recently oh really yeah we have and let me say this we love you guys oh the ones who are listening are all good. No, we do. I miss America. And I am hopefully going to be the next Miss America. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:14 You'll be a great Miss America. I'm actually going to America. Yeah, you are. To top off all my opinions. Yeah. Yeah. That's how much you love it. You're fucking paying heaps of money to get back to NYC. Oh, wait. Can I say where you're going
Starting point is 00:27:26 Yeah Is that a secret I'm going to NYC New Orleans Can't Very good That'll be fun Oh
Starting point is 00:27:40 Will it what His fast Have we seen any fast stuff In New York Yep Fast 8 They spend seen any Fast stuff in New York? Yep. Fast 8. They spend a lot of time in New York. Oh, whoops.
Starting point is 00:27:48 It's where Vin Diesel runs into Helen Mirren playing Queenie. And she calls it... Oh, no, she does that in the... What? They're in London. No. And she's stealing the jewels? Are you thinking of Fast 9, bruh?
Starting point is 00:28:00 Do you not even know your Fast and Furious films, bruh? Oh, sorry. No, that's all good. If you don't know your Fast and Furiousious films, bro? Oh, sorry. Nah, that's all good. If you don't know your Fast and the Furious films, bro, that's sweet as. I just thought there's so many of you watching them a couple of times,
Starting point is 00:28:10 maybe you'd know a little bit more about the Fast and the Furious films. I'd find what you're doing. Ask me literally anything. So annoying. I know anything I say. Ask me literally anything about Fast and the Furious movies.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Fuel in the fire for this. Ask me literally anything about Fast and the Furious movies. Go. Nah, dude. You're totally right. I'm wrong. Yeah. You've proved your point. You don't need to tell me. I hear Fast and Furious movies. Go. No, dude. You're totally right. I'm wrong. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:27 You've proved your point. You don't need to tell me. I hear you. I know that. Yeah. I love those movies. Yeah, right on, brother. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:32 So, Helen Mirren actually appears both in London and in New York City in different movies. That was my mistake. Yeah, that was your mistake. I'm sorry about that. That's okay. I apologize. Fuck. Fuck.
Starting point is 00:28:46 So. That's okay I apologise So What was your favourite end credit? At the very very very very end Of what felt like 15 minutes of credits There was this line which was like All the stunts with the cars They were done by professionals on closed roads So um was like all the stunts with the cars they were done by professionals on closed roads so um don't try the stunts yeah that's fair and i was like which impressionable young youth who likes driving cars fast has watched the fast and the furious movie stuck
Starting point is 00:29:19 around for the whole credits being like oh i can't wait to get out in the car and then caught that and been like oh man oh what about you it was the credit for the company that made the end credits there's something you actually said that pretty fast yeah this is buzzy man but you're but we're in it it's never finished yet So how have you finished the work At the start of the movie it's like directed by Also we saw Weta Digital, a New Zealand company Represented as one of the many
Starting point is 00:29:55 Production houses that did special effects On this film And we apparently might have paid Some tax money to these fucks Yeah there was like a The film acknowledged the New Zealand Production Support Grant or something with the help of the Film Commission. Tax breaks, man.
Starting point is 00:30:10 Yeah. De-regulate the New Zealand film industry. Well, it's actually... If there wasn't regulation, they wouldn't get a tax break. So, sort of the opposite. Regulate it. Regulate... Yeah, because regulating it is how they get tax breaks.
Starting point is 00:30:24 How the Americans get the tax breaks. Anyone, man. What do we get out of that? We got that cool credit in Furious 7 right at the end, tucked in. I don't know if people are coming. I did like at the very, very end of the credits, even after all the other stuff we talked about, it said visit Abu Dhabi in the Fast and the Furious franchise box.
Starting point is 00:30:45 They should... Why didn't we get one of those? What? Visit Aotearoa, New Zealand. Yeah. If we're putting up... That should be a stipulation. If you take any of our money...
Starting point is 00:30:56 A lot of this movie was actually in Abu Dhabi. Not a lot. Some of it was in... I gotta say... Some of it was in... Colorado. It wasn it was in. Colorado. It wasn't set in Colorado.
Starting point is 00:31:10 No, it was filmed in Colorado. Yeah, it was. I got to say, I thought Abu Dhabi looked pretty lousy. Yeah, they didn't do it. They capture it. You get the scope, you get the scale, you get the climate, but it doesn't look like there's anywhere to hang. The only place we see them really hanging when they're not at work is on the like the hotel beach it's the sort of thing it looks fun you know when you're younger i think and you don't actually know what you're like doing and then you go then you're like this is kind of
Starting point is 00:31:38 fucking boring like yeah i'm just with the people i came here with and there's nothing wrong with that but i just feel kind of pinned to this one spot yeah i don't know where the people are and it looked like it looked like it would be hard to find where the people are i'm not and i'm not like i know there are people everywhere i'm talking about like your people you know like you you visit a city you want to find your people well i'm looking forward to an america is just talking to americans like i forget you know like it's you know you are just an extra in everyone's life over there and so you can really be as fucking crazy as you want
Starting point is 00:32:10 yeah that's the truth God knows what I'll do if I meet Kate Hudson you're going to jail if you meet Kate Hudson man it's not going to be good you're going to get extradited for tapping a celebrity I could just sit down next to someone and be like hey how are you going I'm visiting from new zealand isn't that crazy yeah i love that it's so cool that you can just take a swing for the fences with that when you're like overseas
Starting point is 00:32:34 maybe we should do that more often do you think i think you have to grow into i think you have to age into that confidence just everything feels like a i don't know i feel i was a lot more self-conscious when i was younger but i'll tell you what i'm uh i won't give too many details because i want i think at the moment there is a situation where i'm talking to some young people and one of them is uh has the confidence of a much older person that's fucking off putting It's like Fucking Hey man Chill out Yeah Chill Is it
Starting point is 00:33:09 Are they Yeah Is it It's a New Zealand thing I think Is it too much He's coming in with that American energy
Starting point is 00:33:16 Self belief Self confidence It's tough In New Zealand Thinks he's got something To offer the world I'm like hey man In New Zealand
Starting point is 00:33:23 It's tough for people Who have American confidence In New Zealand Because we do not Support it And we do not Tolerate it We don't tolerate it something to offer the world i'm like hey man in new zealand it's tough for people who have american confidence in new zealand because we do not support it and we do not tolerate it we really don't it's bad what was your shining light oh he's put me on the spot i liked that in the end credits there was a splinter unit there's an abu dhabi splinter unit It was an Abu Dhabi splinter unit Yeah So they tell us Who's been shooting the shit in Colorado Who's been doing the biz in LA Who filmed in Abu Dhabi
Starting point is 00:33:54 And then Who was part of the Abu Dhabi splinter unit What were they doing? They were trying to find where the people are Yeah They were just trying to find spots to hang That's the truth Could be like a
Starting point is 00:34:05 restaurant precinct there'll be there'll be a strip i reckon there'll be strips like that there'll be clubs and stuff clubs and restaurants on a strip a couple strips i wish like like vegas i wish there were like leftover noodles in my fridge you've been to vegas eh yeah well you want some noodles leftover over in your fridge? You want like proper noodles? Like some yummy noodles? Yeah, I want like, when I get home, I want there to be noodles. You eating chicken at the moment?
Starting point is 00:34:32 Yeah. You want chicken noodles? I don't have them. I just can't be clear about this. I don't have them. I can't make this happen for you in an instant. It's just, I just felt it. I just felt a flash.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Because I imagine, you know, I imagine getting home. There's a Burger King near here That I keep forgetting exists It's open at weird hours Try your luck on a BK Rebel Chicken Where? It's in like fucking that way Is it New Lynn? No no no
Starting point is 00:34:57 It's over there Hillsborough There's like only two Burger Kings in Auckland basically Yeah I know man They've been squeezed out But there's one over there There's one only two Burger Kings in Auckland basically Yeah I know man They've been squeezed out But there's one over there There's one at Dominion Road The BK Rebel Chook
Starting point is 00:35:11 Fucking goes hard It does slap But that franchise Deserved to go down in New Zealand Guy and I have First hand witnessed The death of a king And that king
Starting point is 00:35:24 Is the Burger King. Because he couldn't sort his shit out. All his royal subjects have been running amok with his venue, which has been expertly crafted. And it's pretty easy to bring to life. And they fuck it up. You order a combo, they forget the chips. You get a burger by itself, they haven't put the mayo in it.
Starting point is 00:35:45 It's like, and then you look at them, no one's cleaning anything. They're just fucking standing around talking. You know who doesn't tolerate that? Fucking Ronald, man. I can tell you firsthand because I worked, I was a member of Ronald's army. And if you ever said out loud that you were bored or looked like you weren't doing anything, you would get the worst job. You'd have to clean out the grease traps.
Starting point is 00:36:08 How was that? Fucking rank, dude. Where would you put the grease? Okay, so here's how it works. At McDonald's, you've got 10 to 1 patties and 4 to 1 patties. They've both gone the same grill. 10 to 1 patties are the ones that go in hamburgers, cheeseburgers and Big Macs. Big Macs have two.
Starting point is 00:36:24 Cheeseburgers and hamburgers have just got one patty. Your four to ones are in your Quarter Pounders and your Boss Burgers. Quarter Pounders got one. Boss Burgers got two. So they all go on the same grill, frozen, right? They're these little fucking pink, like, hockey pucks of meat. Yeah. And you slap them on.
Starting point is 00:36:43 And so you've got just a fucking fucking real not it's a big old grill and then the time it's it's got like a hydraulic lid thing on it that's got i think like a teflon the more you say i feel like a clown's gonna come to that fucking door and put his fucking hands around your neck i'm spilling all the beans. Statute of limitations, bitches. It's been too long. You pull down the handle and so it cooks evenly, the patties on both sides.
Starting point is 00:37:12 But it lets all the meat juice out and then you just kind of scrape that off to the side. That all gets collected into the grease trap that you've got to clean out at the end of the night. It's a horrible job.
Starting point is 00:37:22 So you've got all the grease in a bucket, I imagine. Yeah, it's like a big... What could I like on it, too? Where do the buckets go? I think we've got... There was like industrial... I think there was an industrial drain scenario.
Starting point is 00:37:36 Where does that drain go? I don't know. Where does the grease go in the world? They must collect it for something. Probably back to McDonald's, to be honest. If you think about it for something probably back to mcdonald's to be honest yeah if you think about it they probably reflect like that was the simpsons episode wasn't it home of steel and grease from crusty burger was bar fuck um i liked uh ludicrous sang a mc hammer line i didn't really like it. But I remember it.
Starting point is 00:38:05 That was your favourite bit of the movie? It was like Shining Light, yeah. Ronda Rousey's a bad actor. Because that made it into the credits.
Starting point is 00:38:13 Like they had to presumably pay for it. Yeah, yeah. They had to acknowledge Mr Hammer. And Rick James. Can't touch this. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:23 That was it. That's all that's in the movie. It's a character saying that. He didn't even go, mm-mm-mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm. It was just,
Starting point is 00:38:32 mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. And they probably had to license that song. Madness. Easy way to make money. And sorry, Ronda Rousey's a bad actor. Yeah, well, that's fertile ground we haven't explored before.
Starting point is 00:38:43 Tell me more about that. I get it. I think it's actually great that they got her in. I think I can see the movies making an effort to, you know, welcome people from all walks of the wrestling community, both WWE and UFC. But, you know, she just does it. She can't hang.
Starting point is 00:39:03 She can't hang with the actors. Ronda Rousey is a person who wrestles with humans and the concept of acting. Yeah. You ain't that charming, bitch. It's just all of them. They just scream of lines being read or delivered. There's no authenticity. I assume she had a good time
Starting point is 00:39:25 i wonder if she was starstruck by michelle rodriguez i wonder if she didn't fucking tap michelle rodriguez hmm probably went up in a bit of trouble couldn't be on the you know restraining or it couldn't be in f8 couldn't be in f9 crazy and um f7 so F7 Letty and like you know do you think when we start watching F6 are we going to get to see
Starting point is 00:39:51 Letty fucking get amnesia are we going to get to see Dom fucking around with this Scandinavian cop surely you know
Starting point is 00:39:58 shit moves fast between the movies yeah F7 to F8 they're in Cuba she's like we're going to have a kid and then same movie turns
Starting point is 00:40:08 out how long is between those two because dom's not having sex with the the scandinavian cop anymore but she's on a plane she's had a baby baby has she got the baby in this movie that is that is such a good question where's where's little b it takes nine months to make a human so so the maximum amount of time that could have lapsed between F8 and F6 is 9 months max. F7 do you mean? 6 and 8. No because 8 is, how old is the
Starting point is 00:40:56 baby in 8? It's a baby. So it's maximum like 6 months old? That baby That could be like So six months Plus nine months
Starting point is 00:41:08 Is fifteen months That's the maximum Amount of time That could have lapsed Between But no What we think happens In six
Starting point is 00:41:16 Vin Diesel can't have had sex With the Scandinavian cop Why He's with Letty This whole movie That's what I'm saying It had to have happened In F6
Starting point is 00:41:24 At the Latest Well so but like She's Why? He's with Letty this whole movie. That's what I'm saying. It had to have happened in F6 at the latest. I know. There's childcare. She's out on the beat. Yeah. She's at work. So it really recontextualizes this film, knowing that she's pregnant.
Starting point is 00:41:44 Because she must be. Otherwise. So here's what must happen right f6 f6 the gap between f6 and f7 is is is maybe it's a day maybe it's like the next day they pick it up yeah pick it up next day 24 hours later We're only seven And then And then the gap between seven and eight We can call a year Call it a day There's a day between all these movies Well it doesn't work
Starting point is 00:42:14 Because of the point that you've excellently brought up And promptly forgot about Yeah Fuck I'm intelligent I am so intelligent I actually can't get my head around the ideas I'm intelligent I'm so intelligent I actually can't get my head around the ideas I'm presenting I wouldn't expect anyone to be able to relate to that
Starting point is 00:42:30 but it's tough it's gotta be the truest mark of intelligence I've ever heard of it's lonely at the top I'll bet that's enough is it? yeah I'm done goodbye everyone Is it? Yeah, I'm done. Goodbye, everyone. 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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