The Worst Idea Of All Time - 23: Tapping Kate Hudson
Episode Date: June 9, 2023Tim and Guy are on their sixth course of a Furious 7 degustation and while Tim has energy, Guy is starting to feel a little bloated. Timbo is drawing parallels between Dom and Letty's marriage na...vigating amnesia with the 1987 Kurt Russell/Goldie Hawn rom-com Overboard. Both of the boiz consider the consequences of getting close to a celebrity (Kate Hudson for example) and overplaying your hand by physically tapping her. The episode ends with some genuine questions around the pregnancy timeline of Dominic Toretto's son (from F8) and also how much time lapses between Fast and Furious movies. On the whole, a fantastic episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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No one told me we got a little bitch in the room.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking to you.
What? What do you mean?
I don't know.
What's the meaning of this?
I just felt like saying...
What's going on here?
I just felt like saying...
You wanted to come in hot with something, didn't you?
You thought you had something.
I don't have any...
Take your fucking hat off. Have a little respect. Absolutely not absolutely not i'm gonna wear as many layers as i can yeah
it is so cold in here it's crazy fuck it is cold it's uh i'm wearing a hoodie over a sweater over
a t-shirt like i've got merino under this hoodie yeah and i'm still chilly i got my outdoor
jacket on indoors it's 1004 on a monday the king's birthday yeah happy birthday charlie
couple of kings right here in the hot seat having watched um fast furious seven sorry sorry everyone
i'd like to apologize to everyone because guy and I just watched the entirety of the end credits
For some reason this time
We couldn't help ourselves
So many people went in to make this movie
That we owe it to them
To see their name come up
It's a remarkably long list
And I personally would like to shout out
Hat Trick Catering
For Craft Services You guys clearly had a hard job hat trick catering for craft services
you guys clearly had a hard job
you got a lot of buff men
to feed
with a lot of dietries I'll bet
a lot of dietries
Mr. Johnson
Mr. Statham
well now I feel bad for saying that
Mr. Diesel
Mr. Dieselatham. Well, now I feel bad for saying that. Mr. Diesel.
Mr. Diesel sounds fucking stupid.
No, he sounds all right.
If we're doing that, I'd like to shout out Rich King.
That can't be the name.
Is it Rich King? It seems crazy.
Rich King casting.
They cast all the extras.
And I don't know if they got them this pumped up
or someone made them this pumped up,
but the extras in these movies are pumped up.
Your favorite extra was asleep this time.
Oh, yeah.
It's the opposite of pumped up.
I'm more thinking of the stage, like at the race wars.
I'm thinking about the extras at the race wars.
Now, hold on. Let's give a lot of context.
No, no, no, no.
It's a dangerous sentence.
Let's power on. Yeah. No, no, no. It's a dangerous sentence. Let's power on.
Yeah.
At the start of the movie,
Vin Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez are driving through the desert.
And Michelle says, where are we going?
And he says, we started this.
And then there's a sign that says race wars.
She said, did we used to go to this?
He said, go to this.
We started this.
We made this. We made this.
Something like that.
If I'd like to, you know, I'd like to read the origin story.
Oh, for race?
We might see it.
It might be in five.
Through a Molotov cocktail.
Through one?
Yeah.
Oh, that's tricky because it's a homonym wait homonym homophone spelt differently
though buy me dinner first i don't know man here's here's something it's not just cold
here's something it's not even that late but that movie really was that that was like trying to
resist a tranquilizer for two hours and 20 minutes. Yeah, that fucked you up, eh?
I was all right with it.
And here's what I've realized.
It's a lot better not watching it on a cell phone,
and I need to respect cinema more.
Yeah.
Proper sound system, proper screen.
In one sitting.
Is that better or worse?
It's better.
Yeah.
It's better.
You get it done.
It all kind of makes more sense.
Together.
It was nice to do it together.
That made sense to you? it made it made a little sense the third act doesn't make any
sense of like why no it does you the problem with this movie is you watch it like i was all good
until we get to downtown los angeles for the drone fight for the fucking predator fight up
and because it's so this is the fucking thing with Fast and Furious
Ended at the end of the second act
And I'm kind of there for it the whole time
But then maybe if they did that each time
Then I would be like
What is up with the second act
Ended after the first act
Okay
Forecast the run time
Tim
We've got one more screening of Fast 7
Then we've got six other Fast and Furious movies to go.
I reckon the next screening of Furious 7 will be two hours and 20 minutes.
Okay, fantastic.
And then move one screening ahead of that.
Two hours and 20 minutes.
The first screening of Fast 6?
Yeah.
Two hours and 20 minutes.
Yes.
Okay.
Fast 5?
Two hours and 20 minutes.
Fast 4?
Not sure.
4, I think they're still figuring it out
But I reckon they crossed the two hour threshold
So I'm going to put my money on two hours and one minute
Okay
Three
Three is tricky
I reckon slightly less like an hour fifty five
Okay
Two Two We're looking at a ninety five minute film Okay And one I reckon slightly less, like an hour 55. Okay. Two?
Two, we're looking at a 95-minute film.
Okay.
And one?
95.
90 to 95.
So it goes 90 to 95, 95, one hour and 50 minutes, was it, for three?
I think that's what you said.
And you said two hours and you crossed the two
hour threshold yeah and then you're doing 220s basically yeah 220s the whole rest of it what
do you think of that i think they get they get um shorter faster okay i think the first ones
yeah i like i like 95 for the first one and i don't mind it for the second either. And then I reckon it's like one hour 50.
That's basically what I said.
Yeah, it's more or less what you said.
Here's what I'd like to bring up.
Kurt Russell is in a film called Overboard.
I do not know why I have seen this movie, but I have.
It's him and Goldie Hawn.
It might be before they got married.
I don't know. It might be before they got married I don't know it might be where they met
you might be watching
Hollywood
like Hollywood history
chemistry
it's possible
do you know
there's a thing
it's called
I believe the word is
showmance
there is a
natural
not always
but there is a
I've not experienced it
there's a chemistry
there's an electricity
that occurs between
Romantic leads
You know
Even if they might
I remember getting told about this
In high school drama
Partners and family
Really
Yeah
I was like look out for that
Because were you doing a show
I was at a co-ed school
We all got told
You look out
You co-eds
What
You don't want to get too horny
It's not real
This is
You think it's real
It's not real
Sometimes it's real
But then Goldie Horn and Kurt Russell Are the gold standard It's. It's not real. You think it's real, it's not real. Sometimes it's real.
Goldie Horn and Kurt Russell are the gold standard.
It's real.
That shit's rock solid.
Okay, you're telling me,
yeah, what,
you're telling me Kate Hudson's not real?
Person talking to Tim in drama
at high school?
Yeah.
Kate Hudson's...
If only I'd known.
She's flesh and bone.
Yeah.
She's real.
You tap her,
your fist won't go through her.
It'll like, you know,
it'll be like that. Yeah. You'll go to court. Yeah, that's... I mean, it's true. You tap her, you tap her, your fist won't go through her. It'll be like that.
Yeah.
You'll go to court.
Yeah, that's true.
First things first.
I'm impressed you got that close to her.
And that will never happen again.
You're tapping Kate Hudson?
You're going away for that.
Damn.
Sorry, man.
I'm so sorry, man, but you're going away for that.
You get so close.
You're away for a while.
You get so close. You'll be back. But it's going to take going away for that You get so You're away for a while You get so close
You'll be back
But it's going to take a while
For you to get out
The reputations
Overboard is a movie
Which follows in some ways
I just feel like
You know you spend your whole life
Trying to get near Kate Hudson
And then you tap her
Yeah
Do you think that's a waste?
Yeah
What would you rather
A grab or something?
No
Talk?
Yeah
A chat?
Hey Kate how you going? Is that or something? No. Talk? Yeah. A chat? Hey, Kate, how you going?
Is that how you'd open up?
Yeah.
It's probably the best shot, actually.
I feel...
Everyone overcooks it, eh?
Yeah, I think...
With celebs.
I think...
I'll tell you about some obscure fact that I researched about you on, like, just fucking
chill, man.
Talk like a normal person.
Human being.
You say their name, so you acknowledge you know who they are, so there's no residual weirdness about whether or not you're just some
friendly stranger yeah and you go hey tim how you going hey good good how are you yeah i'm good too
thanks i had a fantastic morning tea oh that's awesome do i know you no we don't know each other
but i know who you are oh okay i okay. I'm also not bad chat.
I believe it.
Yeah.
Where are you from?
Is it an accent I hear?
Yeah, yeah.
Are you from Australia or something?
Oh, you dirty dog.
What are you, from Canada?
Oh, this guy.
What are you doing here?
Oh, I just sort of hang out.
Right.
You see, is that Kate Hudson over there?
Yeah, that's my wife.
I'm going to go over and tap her and wish you wouldn't watch this and that's how you blow it that's how you get arrested that simple
everything you can become all of us like one minute you're having a fantastic flowing conversation
with kurt russell next minute you're getting hauled away By the Los Angeles Police Department Just remember Specifically trained on how to deal with
People who fuck with celebs
Yeah
It's gotta be true right
I love hearing
The word celebs
I think it's a funny word
It's a fun word to say
I saw a Tim Keys show in Melbourne
And he said celebs
And he said
He was talking
The show was all about lockdown
And he goes to Australia,
he goes,
hey Australia,
did you guys lockdown your celebs?
And the crowd went,
yeah.
He goes,
you can't lockdown your celebs.
It's more fun in a British accent.
Yeah.
You reminded me of Richard E. Grant
when you said that just then.
Hey.
When you were doing an impression of Tim Keys.
There are worse people to be compared to.
Heaps.
Jack the Ripper for a start.
Yeah, there's one.
I had worse ones in my head.
We won't go there.
Worse than Jack the Ripper?
Rolf Harris, bro.
Check it out.
Is he worse?
I mean, what's the fucking, how do you measure?
How do you measure monster against monster?
Oh, no, no, not against Jack the Ripper.
Worse than Richard E. Grant.
Oh, yeah. For sure. Okay, yeah. no. Not against Jack the Ripper. Worse than Richard E. Grant. Oh, yeah.
For sure.
Okay, yeah.
If we were doing a pyramid.
Yeah.
Ralph Harris is nowhere.
Wait, which is the top and what's the bottom?
The top is the least monstrous,
so they have the least monster in them.
Okay.
And the base is the most monstrous.
Well, that sucks because the base gets wider as we go down,
so you're sort of saying that most people no i'm just saying that the base represents the volume of monster do you know i saw a ralph
harris book down at the there's a shop down at the end of the street they just sell like kids toys
and stuff i saw it there it was actually the day that he died but before i had found out that he
died and i almost bought the book to be like, it's weird that this exists.
Then I was like,
what are you doing?
Why do that?
So there's a woman who's just written a book.
I'm not advocating
for anything positive
about Rolf Harris,
but she just wrote a book called,
I don't know if it's called Canceled.
It seems like a bad name,
but it looks interesting.
I was reading a review
in the New York Times.
It's quite a thorny book about the relationship to art and the artist.
Oh, I see.
And I thought, I'm interested in that.
Are we as a society not ready to separate ourselves
from the genius of tie me kangaroo down, mate,
in pursuit of wanting to protect children?
First of all, it's called tie your kangaroo down sport.
Oh, yeah, right, right.
tie your kangaroo down is it sport oh yeah right right um so i guess i'm not trying to defend the legacy and yet and yet here we are i'm enough of a pedant to correct
fucking incorrect lyrics no those are two different things that's fair
hey but it's a great way to pin someone get like you know you know the book um my my difficulty it's my
struggle you fucking asshole he spent all his time in prison writing that get the title correct
prison can really turn turn a person's life around and turn a page but what i was trying to get to is
that kurt russell is in a movie called Overboard with Goldie Hawn.
And the plot is in some ways similar and opposite to Furious 7.
Wow, Tim, that's pretty confusing because you said it's both similar and opposite.
It was like, you know, they flip it.
So in this movie, Letty has amnesia and she got married to Dom, but he doesn't remind her of that fact.
And then overboard, Kate Hudson,
I think she's really wealthy and super beautiful.
Yeah.
And she gets struck on the-
You mean Goldie Hawn.
Sorry, Goldie Hawn.
She gets struck on the head, I think, by one of the-
Kate Hudson is really wealthy and beautiful, though, by the way.
Not for nothing.
Yeah.
Her parents are Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell.
But the thing is, if you met her, you'd be so tempted just to tap her
because she's so wealthy and so beautiful.
And Guy, I cannot stress this enough, is saying that in a literal sense,
just to tap her hand.
Oh my God, it's you.
Not tap her, like, you know.
Oh, like colloquialism Or have sex with
Yeah yeah
I mean look
You know
We're all
We're only human
So in this movie
Kurt Russell pretends
That they're married
But if you get in that position
Don't do it
Don't do what?
Tap her
Yeah
No
In either
You can make
Well I mean like
If it's happening
Yeah of course
If it's on it's on
You can make polite conversation Hell You know either. You can make. Well, I mean, like, if it's happening. Yeah, of course. If it's on, it's on.
You can make polite conversation.
Hell, you know.
You can, you can, you know.
If you guys are out, you know.
If you're out, yeah.
If you're out.
Come on.
If you're both out.
Yeah.
If you're both out there.
If you're having a good time.
And Kate Hudson's like, you want to come back to my place?
Tap Kate Hudson.
Yeah.
In whatever way is cool for both of you guys.
By all means.
We don't hate to get in the way.
We don't hate to yuck anyone's yum.
We don't hate to get in your way of having a good time.
But what we're saying is, if she doesn't know what's going on, you go up to her and you just like, you know, tap her on the person.
34 years figuring out a way to get close to Kate Hudson just to have a chance of talking
to her.
You're going to blow it if you tap her.
Don't blow it by tapping her. You're going to blow it if you tap it. Don't blow it by tapping it.
You're going to fuck it up.
So what are you telling me?
Kurt Russell isn't married to Goldie Hawn in this movie?
No.
They're actors.
Yeah.
Portraying different characters from themselves.
I'm talking about the characters.
They're not married.
They don't know each other.
Kurt Russell's character, I think, figures out that she's rich,
but also I think just sees that she's rich but also i think it just sees
that she's very beautiful she gets struck on the head i believe causing her to have amnesia
and then he convinces her that they're married and have been together for years this is this
is from an era of movie making that is just not alive anymore the main thing i remember about that
movie i think it was just playing on tv one time Maybe I was like sick Or something And it was just on
The theme song
Fucking
Slaps
How did it go?
I'm gonna find it
Was it like Yacht Rock?
Um
To me it kinda
Uh
From memory
It was almost
It was sort of like
Playstation 1 era
Like Crash Bandicoot
Kinda
Drive
How did the Crash Bandicoot
Music go?
I can't do it
But it was
One of the guys from Devo Composed all the music For Crash Bandicoot music go? I can't do it. But it was one of the guys from Devo composed all the music for Crash Bandicoot.
I remember hearing that.
I would remember the soundtrack if I heard it. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun Are they making new Crash Bandicoots?
This is overboard.
Wow.
Hey, pretty lady.
It's me, your husband.
What are you doing out here on the deck?
You should come back to our shared room because we're married.
I'm Kurt Russell.
That's Goldie Hawn
and this
is Overboard
it's pretty fun
one day we'll have a daughter named Kate Hudson
you can watch her movies
hell you can read an interview
but if you meet her
don't tap her come back out positive key
change magic chords here we go oh no yet we're still in it
Oh, wow.
Can I ask, at the end of the movie,
what happens?
I think they fall in love for realsies.
It came out in 87, according to this.
That movie's older than me.
That movie's about your age. movie's about your age That's right
That's fucking right
We're aging
So are you
Don't fucking laugh
Everyone's aging
Kate Hudson even's aging
Vin Diesel's aging
I mean if you watch
If the flashback at the end of this movie's to be believed
He's aged
He sort of is aged
I would almost say, the least.
Because he's always been bald.
Everyone has aged.
Larry David's a guy who's not aged.
That's true.
Patrick Stewart's the other classic example.
Your son has aged.
Yes, he'll do that.
And he's still so young.
Yeah.
But he's aged.
They age the most.
The little ones.
Yeah.
This is, I think, my favorite joke from your show this year
what uh oh it's weird to butcher someone else's joke in front of them uh my stepdaughter was five
and now she's seven i have also aged by an equal increment of time yeah they grow up so she grows
up so fast but she'll never catch me that's right yeah it's so good yeah but she'll never catch me. That's right, yeah. It's so good.
But she's aged too.
Yeah.
It's funny when people who are young age,
because aging has older connotations.
You think of a family member you've not seen in 10 years,
then you see them and you think, oh, you have aged.
I'm thinking of an older family member you've not seen in 10 years then you see me you think oh you have aged i'm thinking of an older family member but like you know remy's he's almost two little kids get older older people age it's like how we fall over but old people have a fall yeah similar sort of
which makes it sound like we are deliberately falling over which i'm not doing we're having
a foot we're inviting one in we're having a'm not doing We're having a fall We're inviting one in
We're having a fall
No wait
They're having a fall
Well they're better hosts
You know
It was a different generation
Yeah that's true
We're used to having people over
Mate come on in
Silent generation
Yeah
Yeah yeah
The chat
The chat's disastrous
They're over there fucking
Tapping old celebrities
Why was that generation silent?
Because um
They just had to
Because all their parents went to war
And then when they came back they were like
Shut the fuck up dude
Headed up to here
First the Germans, now you
Good god, get out of it
There must have been a time
When they started teaching German in schools
I'm thinking like the 60s
And there would have been parents
I thought you meant like in the 60s And there would have been Oh right And there would have been parents being like
I thought you meant like in the 40s
Like an insurance policy
No no no
We don't know which way the wind's blowing on this one guys
No no I mean after
They seem feisty
And then in the 60s
Someone's like
Hey you know we could teach German in schools
And everyone would be like
That's true actually
Because German and French are always the popular ones
Yeah
So there's a time when they were like
Do you reckon we called
Do you reckon that's old?
That's got to be old right
Like pre-World War II for example
That we were being taught German?
And French
Like German and French seem to be two that get taught all the time
No I think we must have been introducing German to schools after
Do you think?
Well in some ways they did win after all.
Wow.
If that's the case.
It's a minor victory.
It's super minor.
But one worth discussing all the same.
It would be rude to not bring it up on a podcast about Furious 7.
Yeah.
How many times have we seen this film now?
Six.
So just one more to go yeah did you notice
anything new this time in the film that we watched uh i heard vin diesel when he's launching his car
at um moses's helicopter he says don't miss under his breath i uh i clocked a call back i clocked a
call back that you'd seen earlier when Jack, the young boy,
who turns in a phenomenal performance in his first scene,
when he claps, he says,
Yay, we made it.
The next time you see him,
he's playing with a little red car on top of a box
that's been delivered from Japan by a deck at shore.
I think the play is really unconvincing there.
I think he does a bad job.
And then later on, he's sort of playing with the car
and the he's in the car seat he's playing with the car and he's making it fly and then his dad
brian paul walker says cars don't fly and i heard that call back this time later on when
vincy's about to drive the car out of the wiz califa says dom cars don't fly and i i got that
i thought that was nice It feels like
Sort of like
It's insane to me
You haven't picked that up earlier
This feels like
Do you know what?
Here's an analogy
Go on
Reject it
Have you heard of
Because we're gorging ourselves
On this movie right?
Yeah nice
Have you heard of
We've never conceived of it that way
But we are
A degustation
It's like a Seven course meal Sure So you'd have like a Yeah, nice. Have you heard of... We've never conceived of it that way, but we are. A degustation.
It's like a seven-course meal.
Sure.
So you'd have like a... You'd have a start...
You'd have something that's not even like...
They wouldn't even call it an entree.
You'd get given a little something at the start
and then you'd have another little thing.
It's like seven little meals.
And it would include a dessert.
And so, to me, it feels like...
We've been through before today...
I thought you were going to do a pun on Dickard Station,
because Dickard Shaw is the main bear guy in this.
Dickard Station would be like, I don't know, a sausage in a pint.
We see him in Hobbs and Shaw.
We see his diet.
Or when the UK tried to make a PlayStation.
Yeah.
Didn't come out too good.
Sausage in a pint station.
So. I want a playstation
we've got a playstation at home
part two
being as a mansion of pine
that's actually one of my favourite
meme formats
that we've got this at home
whatever it is
they're always funny
some meme formats
they just rip
we went twitter used to
every
there'd be a joke every day
there'd be a joke format every day.
Yeah,
that's true.
It's so dead now.
No one's hanging out there.
Where's everyone hanging out?
It's so,
it's,
it's so funny how much Elon fucked it.
Yeah.
Cause he did this thing where now like you only see,
um,
verified people,
right?
But also the only people who will pay money,
uh,
people who want pay money People who
Want to suck Elon's dick
So you just
He's constructed this fucking website
Where you're just seeing fans of his
And they're the worst people in the world
It's nuts
They love him though, they are fans
It's nuts man
I think everyone's on TikTok now
I don't want to do that.
No, we're too old for it, man.
We are aging.
So we've had five, before today we've had five courses.
And they're all like that, you know, you like some more than others.
I remember there were a few courses I thought, this is amazing.
You know, I was pointing at that dish.
I was saying, this is one of the best dishes I've ever had.
Two courses ago.
Yeah.
And then now this is the last savory dish before
sweet this is the last and it's a bit bigger it's more substantial right and i'm already feeling so
full and it comes out and it's like i appreciate a lot of people put a lot of effort they thought
of it they fucking cooked it like yeah i you know there's a thousand people you know put time and
energy into making this dish.
And I'm sitting at the table.
I'm thinking, I don't want this.
It's just slowing me down.
I'm eating it and I feel full. It pains me to watch you talk about this.
I know there's more and I'm so full.
He's trying to walk through syrup.
I just want to say, hey, I'm actually already full.
Yeah.
But the kitchen's like, look, you ordered the seven courses.
Well, I was going to tell a little story, which you, I think, already know this story, maybe.
I'm sure I will have brought up on the pot at some point.
But it's funny because this reminds me of the day that I proposed to my now wife, Zoe, when we were in Kyoto, Japan.
And I think this might be the only time I've ever eaten
at a Michelin star restaurant.
So I booked us a meal at a Michelin star seafood restaurant.
Yes.
And it was like a no shit.
I think it might have been nine or 10 courses
degustation menu of seafood.
And it was the richest.
It was just like roe after sashimi after fucking eggs
after eel after and everything was like barely cooked and super fresh and after about three
meals three like courses i wanted to vomit not that it was bad but it was just so fucking full
on and i just kept bringing shit out and i kept forcing it down my gullet it was bad but it was just so fucking full-on and they just kept bringing shit out and i keep
forcing it down my gullet it was a bad scene oh that's all that's awful yeah oh are you comparing
zoe to fast seven no the meal
zoe i think i will compare to the fast
and the furious
did Zoe get through
her food alright
better than me
I think even she
struggled by the end
but she
she loves
seafood and rich food
you know this about her
yeah
I mean
loves an oyster
I love an oyster too
scallops
we could list foods
all night
what about this I don't know this watch wasn't too bad for me scallops. We could list foods all night.
I don't know.
This watch wasn't too bad for me.
I appreciated the beers you brought around.
They were lovely.
They really helped, I think.
It was in a big can,
big 440 mil,
and it was like a 6.8% of memory serves.
So that's 2.2 standard drinks.
Yeah.
And that seemed like just the right amount it was through two hours and 20 minutes of
then maybe that's the rule you need like a drink an hour every 10 minutes is that a sip oh no
because time's not in base 10 it's like fucking 60 yeah fuck the time's a mess it is man we need
to get that on the metric system yeah it's like the americans got their fucking grubby little fingers in time did
that one wow yeah i feel it's fair to blame them do you know actually let me say this man we've
actually been beating up on the americans way too much on our podcast recently oh really yeah we have
and let me say this we love you guys oh the ones who are listening are all good.
No, we do.
I miss America.
And I am hopefully going to be the next Miss America.
Yeah, yeah.
You'll be a great Miss America.
I'm actually going to America.
Yeah, you are.
To top off all my opinions.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's how much you love it. You're fucking paying heaps of money to get back to NYC.
Oh, wait. Can I say where you're going
Yeah
Is that a secret
I'm going to NYC
New Orleans
Can't
Very good
That'll be fun
Oh
Will it what
His fast
Have we seen any fast stuff
In New York Yep Fast 8 They spend seen any Fast stuff in New York?
Yep.
Fast 8.
They spend a lot of time in New York.
Oh, whoops.
It's where Vin Diesel runs into Helen Mirren playing Queenie.
And she calls it...
Oh, no, she does that in the...
What?
They're in London.
No.
And she's stealing the jewels?
Are you thinking of Fast 9, bruh?
Do you not even know your Fast and Furious films, bruh?
Oh, sorry.
No, that's all good.
If you don't know your Fast and Furiousious films, bro? Oh, sorry. Nah, that's all good. If you don't know your Fast and the Furious films, bro,
that's sweet as.
I just thought
there's so many of you
watching them a couple of times,
maybe you'd know a little bit more
about the Fast and the Furious films.
I'd find what you're doing.
Ask me literally anything.
So annoying.
I know anything I say.
Ask me literally anything
about Fast and the Furious movies.
Fuel in the fire for this.
Ask me literally anything
about Fast and the Furious movies.
Go.
Nah, dude.
You're totally right. I'm wrong. Yeah. You've proved your point. You don't need to tell me. I hear Fast and Furious movies. Go. No, dude. You're totally right.
I'm wrong.
Yeah.
You've proved your point.
You don't need to tell me.
I hear you.
I know that.
Yeah.
I love those movies.
Yeah, right on, brother.
Yeah.
So, Helen Mirren actually appears both in London and in New York City in different movies.
That was my mistake.
Yeah, that was your mistake.
I'm sorry about that.
That's okay.
I apologize.
Fuck.
Fuck.
So. That's okay I apologise So What was your favourite end credit?
At the very very very very end
Of what felt like 15 minutes of credits
There was this line which was like
All the stunts with the cars
They were done by professionals on closed roads So um was like all the stunts with the cars they were done by professionals on
closed roads so um don't try the stunts yeah that's fair and i was like which impressionable
young youth who likes driving cars fast has watched the fast and the furious movie stuck
around for the whole credits being like oh i can't wait to get out in the car and then caught that and been like
oh man oh what about you it was the credit for the company that made the end credits
there's something you actually said that pretty fast yeah this is buzzy man
but you're but we're in it it's never finished yet So how have you finished the work
At the start of the movie it's like directed by
Also we saw
Weta Digital, a New Zealand company
Represented as one of the many
Production houses that did special effects
On this film
And we apparently might have paid
Some tax money to these fucks
Yeah there was like a
The film acknowledged the New Zealand Production Support Grant or something
with the help of the Film Commission.
Tax breaks, man.
Yeah.
De-regulate the New Zealand film industry.
Well, it's actually...
If there wasn't regulation, they wouldn't get a tax break.
So, sort of the opposite.
Regulate it.
Regulate...
Yeah, because regulating it is how they get tax breaks.
How the Americans get the tax breaks.
Anyone, man.
What do we get out of that?
We got that cool credit in Furious 7 right at the end, tucked in.
I don't know if people are coming.
I did like at the very, very end of the credits,
even after all the other stuff we talked about,
it said visit Abu Dhabi in the Fast and the Furious franchise box.
They should...
Why didn't we get one of those?
What?
Visit Aotearoa, New Zealand.
Yeah.
If we're putting up...
That should be a stipulation.
If you take any of our money...
A lot of this movie was actually in Abu Dhabi.
Not a lot.
Some of it was in...
I gotta say...
Some of it was in...
Colorado. It wasn it was in.
Colorado.
It wasn't set in Colorado.
No, it was filmed in Colorado.
Yeah, it was.
I got to say, I thought Abu Dhabi looked pretty lousy.
Yeah, they didn't do it. They capture it.
You get the scope, you get the scale, you get the climate,
but it doesn't look like there's anywhere to hang. The only place we see them really hanging when they're not at work is on the
like the hotel beach it's the sort of thing it looks fun you know when you're younger i think
and you don't actually know what you're like doing and then you go then you're like this is kind of
fucking boring like yeah i'm just with the people i came here with and there's nothing wrong with
that but i just feel kind of pinned to this one spot yeah i don't know where the people are and it looked like it looked
like it would be hard to find where the people are i'm not and i'm not like i know there are
people everywhere i'm talking about like your people you know like you you visit a city you
want to find your people well i'm looking forward to an america is just talking to americans like i
forget you know like it's you know you are just an extra
in everyone's life over there and so you can
really be as fucking crazy as you want
yeah that's the truth
God knows what I'll do if I meet Kate Hudson
you're going to jail if you meet Kate Hudson man
it's not going to be good
you're going to get extradited for tapping a celebrity
I could just sit down next to someone and be like
hey how are you going I'm visiting from new zealand isn't that crazy yeah i love that it's
so cool that you can just take a swing for the fences with that when you're like overseas
maybe we should do that more often do you think i think you have to grow into i think you have
to age into that confidence just everything feels like a i don't know i feel i was a lot more self-conscious when i was younger
but i'll tell you what i'm uh i won't give too many details because i want i think
at the moment there is a situation where i'm talking to some young people and one of them
is uh has the confidence of a much older person that's fucking off putting It's like Fucking Hey man Chill out
Yeah
Chill
Is it
Are they
Yeah
Is it
It's a New Zealand thing
I think
Is it too much
He's coming in with that
American energy
Self belief
Self confidence
It's tough
In New Zealand
Thinks he's got something
To offer the world
I'm like hey man
In New Zealand
It's tough for people
Who have American confidence In New Zealand Because we do not Support it And we do not Tolerate it We don't tolerate it something to offer the world i'm like hey man in new zealand it's tough for people who have
american confidence in new zealand because we do not support it and we do not tolerate it
we really don't it's bad what was your shining light oh he's put me on the spot i liked that
in the end credits there was a splinter unit there's an abu dhabi splinter unit It was an Abu Dhabi splinter unit Yeah So they tell us
Who's been shooting the shit in Colorado
Who's been doing the biz in LA
Who filmed in Abu Dhabi
And then
Who was part of the Abu Dhabi splinter unit
What were they doing?
They were trying to find where the people are
Yeah
They were just trying to find spots to hang
That's the truth
Could be like a
restaurant precinct there'll be there'll be a strip i reckon there'll be strips like that
there'll be clubs and stuff clubs and restaurants on a strip a couple strips i wish like like vegas
i wish there were like leftover noodles in my fridge you've been to vegas eh yeah well you
want some noodles leftover over in your fridge?
You want like proper noodles?
Like some yummy noodles?
Yeah, I want like, when I get home, I want there to be noodles.
You eating chicken at the moment?
Yeah.
You want chicken noodles?
I don't have them.
I just can't be clear about this.
I don't have them.
I can't make this happen for you in an instant.
It's just, I just felt it.
I just felt a flash.
Because I imagine, you know, I imagine getting home.
There's a Burger King near here That I keep forgetting exists
It's open at weird hours
Try your luck on a BK Rebel Chicken
Where?
It's in like fucking that way
Is it New Lynn?
No no no
It's over there
Hillsborough
There's like only two Burger Kings in Auckland basically
Yeah I know man
They've been squeezed out But there's one over there There's one only two Burger Kings in Auckland basically Yeah I know man They've been squeezed out
But there's one over there
There's one at Dominion Road
The BK Rebel Chook
Fucking goes hard
It does slap
But that franchise
Deserved to go down in New Zealand
Guy and I have
First hand witnessed
The death of a king
And that king
Is the Burger King.
Because he couldn't sort his shit out.
All his royal subjects have been running amok with his venue,
which has been expertly crafted.
And it's pretty easy to bring to life.
And they fuck it up.
You order a combo, they forget the chips.
You get a burger by itself, they haven't put the mayo in it.
It's like, and then you look at them, no one's cleaning anything.
They're just fucking standing around talking.
You know who doesn't tolerate that?
Fucking Ronald, man.
I can tell you firsthand because I worked, I was a member of Ronald's army.
And if you ever said out loud that you were bored or looked like you weren't doing anything,
you would get the worst job.
You'd have to clean out the grease traps.
How was that? Fucking
rank, dude.
Where would you put the grease? Okay, so here's how it works.
At McDonald's,
you've got 10 to 1 patties and 4 to 1 patties.
They've both gone the same grill. 10 to 1
patties are the ones that go in hamburgers, cheeseburgers
and Big Macs. Big Macs have two.
Cheeseburgers and hamburgers have just got one patty.
Your four to ones are in your Quarter Pounders and your Boss Burgers.
Quarter Pounders got one.
Boss Burgers got two.
So they all go on the same grill, frozen, right?
They're these little fucking pink, like, hockey pucks of meat.
Yeah.
And you slap them on.
And so you've got just a fucking fucking real not it's a big old grill
and then the time it's it's got like a hydraulic lid thing on it that's got i think like a teflon
the more you say i feel like a clown's gonna come to that fucking door and put his fucking
hands around your neck i'm spilling all the beans. Statute of limitations, bitches.
It's been too long.
You pull down the handle
and so it cooks evenly,
the patties on both sides.
But it lets all the meat juice out
and then you just kind of
scrape that off to the side.
That all gets collected
into the grease trap
that you've got to clean out
at the end of the night.
It's a horrible job.
So you've got all the grease
in a bucket, I imagine.
Yeah, it's like a big...
What could I like on it, too?
Where do the buckets go?
I think we've got...
There was like industrial...
I think there was an industrial drain scenario.
Where does that drain go?
I don't know.
Where does the grease go in the world?
They must collect it for something.
Probably back to McDonald's, to be honest. If you think about it for something probably back to mcdonald's to be honest yeah
if you think about it they probably reflect like that was the simpsons episode wasn't it
home of steel and grease from crusty burger was bar fuck um i liked uh ludicrous sang a
mc hammer line i didn't really like it. But I remember it.
That was your favourite
bit of the movie?
It was like
Shining Light, yeah.
Ronda Rousey's
a bad actor.
Because that made it
into the credits.
Like they had to
presumably pay for it.
Yeah, yeah.
They had to acknowledge
Mr Hammer.
And Rick James.
Can't touch this.
Yeah.
That was it.
That's all that's in the movie.
It's a character saying that.
He didn't even go,
mm-mm-mm-mm,
mm-mm,
mm-mm.
It was just,
mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
And they probably had to license that song.
Madness.
Easy way to make money.
And sorry,
Ronda Rousey's a bad actor.
Yeah, well,
that's fertile ground we haven't explored before.
Tell me more about that.
I get it.
I think it's actually great that they got her in.
I think I can see the movies making an effort to, you know,
welcome people from all walks of the wrestling community,
both WWE and UFC.
But, you know, she just does it.
She can't hang.
She can't hang with the actors.
Ronda Rousey is a person who wrestles with humans and the concept of acting.
Yeah.
You ain't that charming, bitch.
It's just all of them.
They just scream of lines being read or delivered.
There's no authenticity.
I assume she had a good time
i wonder if she was starstruck by michelle rodriguez i wonder if she didn't fucking tap
michelle rodriguez hmm probably went up in a bit of trouble couldn't be on the you know
restraining or it couldn't be in f8 couldn't be in f9 crazy and um f7 so F7
Letty and
like you know
do you think
when we start watching F6
are we going to get to see
Letty fucking
get amnesia
are we going to get to see
Dom fucking around
with this
Scandinavian cop
surely
you know
shit moves fast
between the movies
yeah
F7 to F8
they're in Cuba
she's like
we're going to have a kid
and then same movie turns
out how long is between those two because dom's not having sex with the the scandinavian cop anymore
but she's on a plane she's had a baby baby has she got the baby in this movie that is that is such a good question where's where's
little b it takes nine months to make a human so so the maximum amount of time that could have lapsed between
F8 and F6
is 9 months
max. F7 do you mean?
6 and 8. No because
8 is, how old is the
baby in 8?
It's a baby. So it's maximum
like 6 months
old?
That baby
That could be like
So six months
Plus nine months
Is fifteen months
That's the maximum
Amount of time
That could have lapsed
Between
But no
What we think happens
In six
Vin Diesel can't have had sex
With the Scandinavian cop
Why
He's with Letty
This whole movie
That's what I'm saying
It had to have happened
In F6
At the Latest Well so but like She's Why? He's with Letty this whole movie. That's what I'm saying. It had to have happened in F6 at the latest.
I know.
There's childcare.
She's out on the beat.
Yeah.
She's at work.
So it really recontextualizes this film,
knowing that she's pregnant.
Because she must be. Otherwise. So here's what must happen right f6
f6 the gap between f6 and f7 is is is maybe it's a day maybe it's like the next day they pick it up
yeah pick it up next day 24 hours later We're only seven And then
And then the gap between seven and eight
We can call a year
Call it a day
There's a day between all these movies
Well it doesn't work
Because of the point that you've excellently brought up
And promptly forgot about
Yeah
Fuck I'm intelligent
I am so intelligent
I actually can't get my head around the ideas I'm intelligent I'm so intelligent I actually can't get my head around the ideas
I'm presenting
I wouldn't expect anyone to be able to relate to that
but it's tough
it's gotta be the truest mark of intelligence I've ever heard of
it's lonely at the top
I'll bet
that's enough
is it? yeah I'm done
goodbye everyone Is it? Yeah, I'm done. Goodbye, everyone.
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