The Worst Idea Of All Time - 26: Coke Wins
Episode Date: June 30, 2023The boiz are on a couch, in a lounge, chatting off the back of a watch of Furious 6. In an expansive discussion about beverages (alcoholic and not), we ask the question; Who could possibly win (out of... ANY ORGANISATION IN THE WORLD) against Coke Cola? Guy’s also trying to figure how why we drink alcohol. Also, why spoons are banned in Russia. Monty is shining a light on the fantastic performance given by a British man who loses his shirt and crucially the pair dig into whether Letty and Dom would still be together if she didn’t get amnesia. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Music
Music 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Hello everybody and welcome to the worst idea of all time.
I'm just checking that the frames are right on the picture.
Hey, Tim, so you know, my name's not everybody. It's Guy.
Why can't I hear you very good?
Because you've got an attitude problem.
Yeah, that could be it. Go again.
Well, how's your attitude now Tim?
Yeah it's feeling a little better
My attitude's feeling a little better
That's good
How is your attitude?
How's your life?
My attitude's good
My life's fantastic
Does that make it easy to have a good attitude?
There's a cool hat
I am cool
I don't know how many fucking cool hats I gotta wear
Before you realise you're dealing with one of the coolest.
Is it like towel material?
It's fleece.
Okay.
Is it fleece?
It's fleece.
It's like polyester fleece though.
My polyester fleece.
So fun.
She's my polyester fleece.
That song really just went away, didn't it?
Who wrote it?
Regurgitator. The Regurgitators. No, just Reg? Who wrote it? Regurgitator.
The Regurgitators.
No, just Regurgitator.
The Regurgitators.
Do you know I saw Regurgitator live once?
I fucking loved their band.
They're an Australian band and they're kind of like,
they were like, I would describe them as like dance alt rock.
Name two other songs.
Life.
Oh, Life. I had like a couple of their albums but it's been a long time shouldn't have left you left you with that i don't mean to step to saw them at the king's
arms rip yeah worst worst live act i've ever seen holy they've been off the tools for a while and
we're getting back
into stuff
so that's why you come
to New Zealand
to either finish your tour
or start your tour
they were fucking atrocious
they forgot their own songs
it was bayard
can I say
at the other end
of the spectrum
I saw Krangbin
finish their tour
in New Zealand
at Auckland
and it was
a phenomenal show
and a remarkable display of musicianship it was
technically one of the best music gigs i've been to wow and they played probably a five to ten
minute medley of like multi of genre spanning different songs samples into songs it was a
delight and you know we get the worst of it we get the regurgitators at the king's
arms figuring out how to hold their tools again but sometimes you also get the jubilation and
relief of a hard-working band who've drilled their show yeah until it's as tight as a drum
and they come and they say what do you think of this we're going home you ever want to see pink
perform live no and i'm sure
i've said this before but i remember when i was in year eight for a music project i wrote an essay
on pink and the last sentence i wrote in the essay this is in the year 2001 the last sentence was
who knows before september after september after september okay Who knows what the future holds, but right now, everything sure looks rosy in the world of pink.
Age?
I would have been 12.
Wow.
It's not bad.
It's pretty good.
Did you have to write an essay for music on any artist?
No, not that I can recall.
I didn't do music in third...
Oh, wait, did I?
No, I don't think I did music in third form.
This is in year eight.
First CD you own.
Oh, sorry.
First CD you own.
Year eight was form two.
Yeah, first CD you own.
Go, I'm ready.
I think it was Spice World.
CD.
Yeah, I think that might be right.
Shania Twain, come on over.
Yeah, with the fucking boys.
Fucking A's.
How about the boys getting behind the ladies?
Big time. How about that? Venga Boys was very early too, though. Yeah, well, that the fucking boys. Fucking A's. How about the boys getting behind the ladies? Big time.
How about that?
Venga boys was very early too, though.
Yeah, well, that's erasure.
Because one of those boys was abroad.
What?
Oh, I see.
Should have been the Venga fucking people.
Yeah, yeah.
The Vengas.
They should bring it back as the Vengas.
There should be a sitcom called The Vengas.
What would it be?
Would it be their band?
It's them right now
They still share an apartment
Was there an S Club TV show?
Or was that a movie?
One of the members of S Club just died recently
Oh that's sad
They were still young
I think they were going to go on a tour
Yeah fuck
How's the nostalgia tour industry?
Oh it's booming
I tell you one of the worst gigs I've seen
Groove Armada either 20
or 25 year anniversary dog that was heartbreaking we were both at that gig i think we were sort of
separate though weren't we we went were we together oh sorry we traveled separate we linked up oh yeah
okay that i was with chelsea bella and meals and you and zoe were there and we were all grooving
in the same pocket and we were all constantly waiting for the gig to get good.
Yeah, and then it just ended.
It was like...
Disastrous.
Guys, come the fuck on.
It was sort of the inverse of what I keep reading
about Taylor Swift gigs.
Taylor Swift is out there doing like 45 song,
three hour sets.
I mean, there's a...
Just hit after hit after hit after hit.
There's a reason Taylor Swift is Taylor Swift yeah
imagine maintaining that kind of fitness level like a purity she must disassociate how could
you not although was this is interesting with music I feel like it's different yeah then stand
up so it's so weird for that when you start doing
your jokes too many times like during a festival and you're like it's so weird to say these and
you're just watching yourself perform from slightly above your own body yeah it's and then it's quite
scary because you're like oh i'm gonna at some point i'll just like stop talking then what
happens can i actually say something please for once can i have a fucking
turn no legit i'm just saying this while i remember do you know i'm filming my show from
this year i'm going to film it and release it on my own youtube channel and i'm filming it in
brisbane good in july late july i'm doing two the tapings on the 29th of july and i'm doing a warm
up on the 27th and i just want people to know that in Brisbane because I haven't announced it really.
Gotcha.
If you're in Brisbane or you know someone in Brisbane,
you've got to come to the table.
Send him a line.
Someone must be here.
Not necessarily.
All sorts of things.
Send him off.
He doesn't like Queenslanders.
Nor should he.
Well, Tim, I've got to say, chairs, good ep.
Yeah.
And I'll see you later
oh we're done
no hold on
or do you want to talk about
um
fast
fast
I want this dog to shut the fuck up
that's what I'd love
do you want to talk about
Fast and Furious 6
hey Rufus
get a rest
the
whoa
farmer voice
the 6th movie
if you talk to
okay
if you talk to a fan
they'd tell you it's the 6th movie
in the Fast and the Furious franchise if you talk to Tim a fan they'd tell you it's the sixth movie in the fast
and the furious franchise if you talk to tim or guy we'd tell you it's the fourth and i mean
debate to this very day which party is true it's difficult to get to the bottom of it first things
first i'd like to apologize to our listeners in the previous episode because I paused the movie because I remember criticizing at the end of F7.
They didn't have the like disclaimer being like, these are car stunts.
They're filmed on closed roads.
Don't try this to the very end.
And I thought, what sort of litigious motherfuckers watching that all the way before they decide that they're not going to do it.
And F6, before they even get into the meat of the credits they have a big thing
on the screen disclaimer these are performed on closed roads don't try this don't do this
when we last watched the movie i paused it there to read it to bask in it to think about the
difference between that and f7 and then i didn't push play we just kept watching today i didn't
pause it i'd already read it that is only on screen for about five seconds and then
you've got cars drifting and you guessed it tokyo yeah there's an after the credit sequence which we
didn't watch last time and it is a fucking big one it hisses it's huge han is drifting against
unknown races through the streets of Tokyo.
Very busy pedestrian crossing.
What's the name of it?
I think it's in Shibuya.
Shibuya.
I think that's what it's called.
When you went to Shibuya,
did you create some front-facing video content saying it's Shibuya in Shibuya?
I did not.
And that was a real missed opportunity on my behalf
and I'll never live it down.
No.
I think it's a miracle that you...
I mean, a lot of people might not know this.
A lot of people do know this.
That's where you got engaged.
Yeah.
Not in Shibuya.
No.
But in Japan.
That's right.
Do you want to marry your boy in Shibuya?
Do you want to nip her on to the rest of our lives?
Did you say that?
No.
I think she would have said no
if I'd pulled something like that, to be honest.
I don't think it would have worked out.
Down the line.
Was it down the line?
Down the line. Was it... It was a straight down the line sort of proposal yeah it was you weren't making puns out of place went to the ancient city so
it's a bunch of like protected ruins and temples and stuff i want to protect your ruins until we're
both in a temple okay fine i had the ring had the ring in the box burning a hole in my pocket the
whole day yeah this day Do you know what
I know something about that ring
It's one ring to rule them all
One ring to bind them
You're showing such a lack of respect for the story
I'm going to bail on it
So after the credit sequence is Han
Racing through
I'll respect it
It's not even a good story
It's not my fault I know too many jokes
I think it is actually
It's not my fault my brain is full of gear
The plan
Proposed to Zoe in the ancient city
Tourist hotspot
Beautiful surroundings
Winter?
Snowing?
I like the setup
I think that's right
Beautiful
Okay
That's the plan
But then we got out there and I was like
Zoe doesn't love big public That's right. Beautiful. Okay. Picturesque. That's the plan. But then we got out there and I was like,
Zoe doesn't love big public.
She's not a super extroverted person.
She doesn't like big public displays of things happening and amongst the riffraff.
Yeah.
The people.
What does she call them?
The great unwashed.
That's what she refers to them as, yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so I kept the ring in my pocket and proposed her at the hotel instead yeah in the lobby in our room the elevator in our room
we staying in the elevator i wasn't no we stayed in a room that's where i did it
is an elevator a room there's no elevators in japan what there's no elevators in japan no
they don't use them that's
a lie it's escalators only you're having me on yeah it's a bit of fun it's pretty good it's a
nice life it's a nice level of life yeah take something that's like pretty common to your life
and then pick a country that's culturally a little bit different just claim the thing isn't there
yeah they don't have there's not there isn't a single spoon in russia no and that's not
true and here's why because before the russian revolution the russian royal family they they
were offended by spoons because rasputin had this weird premonition about one of them getting killed
by a spoon so they they outlawed spoons and to this day even though like after the revolution
the russian royal family's gone
They still kind of persist with this cultural norm of banning spirits
It was believable
I think it ran out a little bit of gas at the Rasputin
The foretold thing
Yeah, but that's actually not as unbelievable as you might think
Rasputin held a lot of fucking power
And he was a mystic So it's not it's not completely
beyond the pale to think that he had a premonition of one of them being killed by a spoon and got
them to ban spoons you know that song rah rah rasputin yeah love is greatest russia's greatest
love machine yeah is that pro uh it seems that it's very like it's upbeat gang gang gangas can more yeah um different guys
i'm trying to think of the rest of the lyrics for that song
i don't know the rest of the lyrics you're a lyrics guy it surprises me you don't know the rest of the lyrics. You're a lyrics guy. It surprises me you don't know the rest of that song.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I don't know all the lyrics.
I'm working on it.
I'm always working on it.
Post-credits sequence.
Han drifting through Tokyo.
Not exactly where Tim proposed to Zoe,
but not a million miles away either.
Because that would be the moon.
Yeah.
Yeah. Do the the maths or the math
han is racing unknown you know other drivers he a car sort of interrupts him mid-race flips him
he rolls he's trapped under the car stath gets out of the car that flips him gets on the phone
performs a scene that we're already familiar with having watched f7 so i suppose you'd call this a
flashback to f7 and uh he then says dominic teredo you don't know me but you're about to
and then detonates an explosive device that blows up han's car so if you watched
f6 in the cinemas not only did you witness the death of giselle godot but you also saw in the
post-credit sequence which must have felt so flippant to die hard fans of the franchise
the death of han so they killed off one of the core couples
sequentially in the last half hour of the film yeah but han they put in the after the credit
like if anything based on my understanding of the importance of these characters han goes before the
credits you kill giselle in the after the credit sequence you know and we know han's not dead because i mean no one dies it makes me
want to track back to the mr nobody's explanation of how i pulled it off the mr nobody voodoo shit
yeah good point so he says he drags the body out before the explosion happens and he treats it like
it was staged that's right because he puts him behind a pillar where han's looking at the car
explode which must happen very quickly that's right because i mean like behind a pillar where hans looking at the car explode which must happen
very quickly that's right because i mean like and he's and then he said do you remember what he says
and i'm paraphrasing because i can't remember the exact scripting but he says that's not even the
coolest trick i've pulled yeah that wasn't even the best one of those i've done the best one of
those i pulled was on a cruise ship in 1987 when i seduced a spoiled heiress
with amnesia
into believing that I was her husband.
Someone wrote a really cool theme song about it.
Yeah.
But it's a long story.
It's one we don't have time for.
I really enjoyed this watch still.
Did you?
You were running hot and cold.
Yeah, I know.
We were being very antagonistic towards each other.
You were being antagonistic towards me. I was being charming. I don't think that I know. We were being very antagonistic towards each other. You were being antagonistic towards me.
I was being charming.
I don't think that's true.
I was being very charming.
I think we need an impartial third party to observe and assist
so that we stop gaslighting each other.
We need Patty Harrison back in the booth.
Yeah, well, I don't know.
She seemed like a semi, her own individual brand of toxic.
Being spewed on top of the boys doing their toxic work.
Yeah.
Do you think we need a, I mean, a phone call?
Oh, is it important?
No, but it's interesting.
It's my friend, Ryan.
I haven't spoken to him for a long time.
Oh.
I'm not going to take it.
He's a good guy, Ryan.
He's a great guy.
I'll call him back. He's got a cool car he's got like a jeep i think he sold the jeep he's in a hybrid corolla now oh
there's nothing wrong with that but it doesn't have the same um well it's probably because he's
he's he stopped doing the kind of work he was doing before he had to bring a nice car to kind of
impress clients be like yo check me out i don't know he had to bring a nice car to kind of impress clients. Be like, yo, check me out.
I don't know he had to impress clients with his car.
I thought that was part of the thing.
So it's like, yo, check it out.
I'm legit.
I think he just likes nice things.
Yeah, that's fair.
Do you like nice things?
Nah, I detest them.
Do you?
No, I don't detest nice things.
I don't like luxury things though.
I think luxury things are a bit silly.
What's a luxury thing?
Like a watch?
Like a Rolex?
I had spent a lot of time in one of the airports recently.
Socks?
Do you know that clip?
No.
I'm on DuckTales, Larry.
You know that clip?
What's a luxury item you couldn't live without?
I don't know. Socks. Socks aren's a luxury item you couldn't live without i don't know socks socks on the luxury talking a private plane a private plane you know i'm from duck tales right
oh man i forget the guy's name but he's the he's um the guy from community which i don't think
you've watched so this isn't going to help which one joel mckale nope donald glover nope chevy chase nope i'm out yeah um it doesn't matter but i'll
show you the clip later and most people know what i'm talking about now luxury items i'm not what
say you uh well i was in an airport one of the airports recently and i went into the rolex shop
oh yeah and i was i there was just a young guy who worked there.
What were you wearing and what was the response to you being in there?
Was it similar to the scene in this movie
where Tej and Hobbs turn up to the luxury car auction
and a man immediately assesses that they should not be there?
No, so I caught, there was some fella, some young floozy out front.
Floozy. Who was, you you know he was grateful for the company and i i was very straight up with him i
said how much are these watches can you show me the most expensive watch and can you show me the
cheapest watch you know and then there was some other like the got the boss dog who came out from
out the back at some point and started yeah giving me look, being like, you're not going to buy one of these watches.
I was like, yeah,
but I'm building a fucking bond.
And I mean,
I think the most I've seen of them
was like a quarter of a million dollars.
And I was wearing like a Casio watch.
Bro, the Casio is fucking real.
Are you wearing it now?
No, right now I'm wearing a Garmin.
Was it that classic Casio?
Yeah, it's a classic Casio.
Their Casio is so fucking good.
Because I reckon it's a real good look too.
And it's like 20 bucks.
I was with you when I bought that.
Do you remember that?
Was it in Oz?
No, it was in New York City.
We'd just taken Magic Mushrooms.
And then we were about to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge.
And we got lifted on that bridge.
Do you remember that?
Yeah.
Those were strong.
Yeah, they were. we got lifted on that bridge you remember that yeah those were strong those were strong
there was the walk when um there was like glow flies what are they called they were a little
in the grass in new york they were like it's in the summer there was in their little glowy things
glow flies and i was so confused and trying to desperately get to the bottom with you about if
they were real and i was saying they were real you were saying they were real but i was like yeah but are they real when you're not high
i remember pausing in the middle of the bridge and watching all the boats go under and the boats
all had personalities fuck that rules man nice but i bought the watch on the way because i wanted to
know how long like i wanted to track the time oh i bought that casio you know what would go down a treat right now a chronograph
yeah i bought that watch for 20 and look at it now not just a handsome timepiece and an ironic
bit of catch they have in a rolex store but also memories wow since both of those moments um i was
wearing it in the shower oh and i went to get the battery fixed and the guy said it's water resistant
not waterproof.
Did that flash through your head while you were showering?
This watch is rusted.
Buy a new one.
Yeah.
They're cheap.
I haven't yet.
Did you get the gold one?
Nah, it was plastic.
Dude, get the gold one
and it'll be like Gandalf the Grey
of Casio watches.
It'll be like the old one died.
It's like, no, it's back
and it looks more badass
than ever
yeah
they run like
they're about a
I think slightly over
100 New Zealand
we've got a lot of memories
yeah man
we've made a lot of memories
years and years
and years worth
I wanted to
I wanted to describe you
as being hot and cold
during this watch
because I felt like
the last time we watched it
it was pure love
I mean
it's hard to recapture the enthusiasm of seeing a felt like the last time we watched it it was pure love i mean and
it's hard to recapture the enthusiasm of seeing a movie for the first time in this watch you said
not to me not to anyone really just out loud yeah you said vin almost to yourself i think you said
vin smiles in this movie lots and it helps me yeah let's talk to that okay in this move so we have critiqued heavily vin diesel
not emoting beyond a sort of grimace or a scowl particularly in f9 i think he's not responsive
to any of the large-scale stunts or explosive moments he doesn't really smile or laugh he doesn't appear he just
is he's plotting through life he doesn't take to appear to take any pleasure in the in the
the inevitable highs of such an absurd lifestyle and it is a challenge to emotionally invest in
a character like that because he's holding it he's the central guy and he's if he's not advertising
any emotional response then
you're kind of at sea as to how you're meant to feel about him going through these things
technically we know we're rooting for him but it's very difficult to be emotionally invested
well i'm not confused by what we're supposed to feel i'm just like why should i be invested in
this if you're not as a central character so what helps is in this one in fury do we know the title yet
fast i'm looking at it i'm looking at a thumbnail that says fast and furious six but i'm also
getting a flashback to joseph telling me that you can't believe any of the posters because there's
like a discrepancy between the movie's real names that they get distributed as the marketing material
and then also what you see on screen at the start like
they're all different it's called fast and furious six that is a shit title from what i can see um
he smiles throughout the film in in in moments where you would expect him to smile when happy things are happening to him,
but also when he's sort of teeing off and has a laser pointer from a sniper rifle pointed at him
when he's interfacing with Shaw,
with the big bad.
We just call it talking.
Talking with Shaw.
And there was something nice about that.
I think that's a joke from friends by the
way what i think at one it's nothing i think at one point ross describes flirting as interfacing
he's talking to someone i can't remember who he's talking about in the future talking about
computers and technology so you know we'd be this is we'd be interfacing and maybe someone says
this is just talking i've got all this miscellaneous shit in my head it's good sometimes
it bubbles up i'm sorry
no it's embarrassing no no it's no i'm stupid i'm an idiot i'm a dumb dumb see this is the opposite
of what you were bringing during the the viewing i'm big dumb dumb he's had two coffees we've all
have you all of us here have all had to oh rufus hasn't he's sort of blending in with the cat coward
what would happen if you filled his water bowl with coffee? I reckon he'd like it and be like,
nah, not for me.
Yeah, it's funny.
Imagine if he got real into it though.
Coffee is...
He'd probably get the shits.
I don't want to deal with that.
Coffee is a gross taste.
I've been drinking it a long time.
I know I like it.
Yeah.
Alcohol is a gross taste.
Yeah.
It's poison.
Yeah.
And what's funny,
if you drink a gin and tonic,
Yeah.
you know, you're just making tonic taste, or say vodka and soda. You're making soda taste. Yeah, and who's funny, if you drink a gin and tonic, you're just making tonic taste, or say vodka and soda,
you're making soda taste worse.
Yeah, and who's excited to crush a glass of tonic water?
Yeah.
But so then let's say you get off, you stop drinking outright,
you go sober.
But as part of it, you still want to create a challenge component
to what are otherwise delicious drinks.
Okay.
So like rum and
coke for an example and so you're like okay well i can't just drink coca-cola i need to put fake
rum in the coca-cola i need to dilute the perfect like the science perfect taste of vinegar
vinegar is what it would be honestly it'd be vinegar vinegar would be the base like zero alcohol alcoholic drinks
are basically just introducing challenges to what otherwise are perfect tasting drinks
oh i see yeah you understand what i'm saying yeah but that's because zero alcohol drinks exist not
in a vacuum but in a society and your own experience where you're very used to drinking
alcohol and you have years of established, you know,
memories of revelry and rituals around this taste and socializing.
So if you can trick your brain that you're still consuming the substance
without poisoning yourself.
I mean, isn't that an advertisement of the poison in the first place?
Well, yeah.
You can't just migrate off it.
The point isn't, I don't think the point of zero alcohol drinks
is to like death to alcohol.
No.
That's what Coke's trying to do.
Coke wants death to alcohol?
Well, Coke should.
Coke, no.
Coke should be...
Actually, Coke should be making way bigger swings at alcohol.
Coke is collaborating with alcohol.
I know.
That's one approach to the enemy.
Yeah.
But the other is going, fuck these guys, they're poison.
Who wins?
Coke wins.
Coke wins?
Coke wins.
Coke versus the US military, Coke wins.
Coke wins full stop.
Okay.
Irrespective of enemy.
I'm going to call it, I don't know how to call it, but what about Coke versus Nike?
Who wins?
Coke wins.
Coke versus McDonald's.
Now that is interesting.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I almost think of them as the same thing.
Well, Coke has infiltrated McDonald's.
Yeah.
They're working on the same team.
Coke and McDonald's is like, what's a good...
Because I was going to say
It's like the USA and the UK
But they're more like equivalent to each other
I feel like they sort of go together like
Walla walla walla walla
Shoo-ba-dee-bop-da-bop
That's what I think
For example
Yeah, as a for instance
As a for instance
Do you think nike beats coke
i think i i know coke wins coke does win this is the battlefield we're talking about as well this
is like we're not talking about who's worth more money we're not necessarily talking about mind
share we're talking about like Those two guys are going at it
Because Coke plays so dirty
Coke is so powerful and it plays so dirty
Yeah
Coke versus
What's it fucking called?
Who are the
Who are the real baddies who keep
In their CEO seat that
You know, water isn't a human right
Nestle? Yeah yeah nestle nestle
v co nestle is a worthy opponent nestle but nestle is not definable like what do you think when you
think nestle in my head i get two things i get either a kit kat or a tube of condensed milk so
nestle is like the illuminati they're big and they're out there, but they're hard to pin down.
Coke owns Coke.
I think so,
but I don't know that to be a fact.
Who's Unilever?
Unilever is like Johnson & Johnson is under them, I think.
And things like, I don't know.
These are the questions.
We should talk movie.
We've been talking about.
You're not wrong.
We were setting up sort of our challenged and charged relationship
to Dominic Toretto in F7 through 9.
Established and well-worn ground.
The sort of delight that you see in him enjoying himself.
I mean, I feel like the last time we were discussing the pleasure of Vin.
By the way, I think before he changed his name to Vin Diesel,
he tried to call himself American Muscle.
I think it's important that's on the record.
But the last time I remember we were talking about him in these glowing terms
was on his honeymoon in Cuba with a recovered from amnesia Leti.
And it is a delight.
And it actually, it speaks to, you know,
the traditional progression of films,
watching the first one through the sixth one.
I feel like I'm falling in love with Roman backwards.
Yeah, dude.
Roman is a big feature.
Roman's getting funnier.
He's great.
He's great. He's a great look. He's great. He's great.
He's a great look.
He's fun.
He's funny.
How's that little Easter egg?
I don't know if you call it an Easter egg.
How's that little touch on his private jet?
Oh, yeah.
I missed it the first time.
On the tail, there's a shot for about two seconds as they're sort of transitioning to another bit of the world.
And it says, it's Roman, bitches.
Yeah. He painted that on
his private jet how much did they heist in rio 100 mil i think is the reference what do they split
that six ways how many peeps are there so we should say they got 15 million dollars each yeah
this that's not enough for a jet and it's not enough of what lute is doing as well like tish buys all of those
luxury cars yeah that's got it's gone it's an emotional it's an emotional response to a smarmy
racist brit yeah that's that's the thing and i'd actually love to know what the actor who plays
the smarmy racist brit has been up to otherwise because i think he revels in the role i think he's a delight to watch i think he sells he sells the antagonism yeah i do too but here's my um
parlay no what's my and i like hit back oh is your rebuttal something yeah yeah sure
counter counter to that is that i feel like that guy's role,
so this is the,
you know,
we talked about him last time.
You know who we're dealing with, folks.
Yeah, you know what it is.
That's a role that a lot of people
could have done and done well.
Yeah.
It's a caricature of a British,
you know,
we've seen that archetype done so many times
and so many different things
and he does a great job with it,
but I feel like lots of people could have.
It's what?
I mean, that's true,
but I don't think it's a fair criticism,
if you call it that, of...
He beat out the other actors at the casting call.
He did.
He got the job.
Congrats.
He did exactly what was asked of him,
and yes.
Should he get points taken away
because a different actor could have done it
probably not that's probably unfair you know that's on me i think that's part of the joy of
this movie in addition to vin smiling is the the the comedy weave throughout there's just a lot
more silliness there's a lot more fun in games and part of it isn't being in Britain. And I think there's a...
But just throughout, they take more time to...
So, like, there's even a tiny conversation between Dom and Han
to move the plot forward where Han finds out
that there is a street race that Leti's involved in.
So Dom can go over there and try and sort of win her back
or figure out what's going on.
And in the middle of that very small conversation,
just because, like, these bits of exposition are necessary but kind of boring we've got in the
background so this gets set up before they start talking immediately before they start talking as
tej is showing no sorry roman grabs a gun that tej has made yeah and he's messing around with it
just like don't touch that you can't handle that gun I've proven myself with big guns and then in the middle of Han and Dom
doing this bit of
plot exposition
the gun misfires
and goes
and fires a fucking
steel harpoon
harpoon
into the concrete wall
between their two faces
just to interrupt
with a bit of a
you know
sight gag
it's fun
and it's fun
it is fun
and there's lots of
examples of that
where they kind of
undercut
see in 9 9 especially and I don't have specific examples in my head it's it's fun it's fun it is fun and there's lots of examples of that where they kind of undercut
see in nine and nine especially and i don't have specific examples in my head but i feel like they
do the exposition without any humor there's no release about it's just like oh now we're
gonna fucking show you what's good it feels like metal gear solid half the time it's just like
a convoluted plot full respect to the metal gear fans out there yeah by the way but like it it feels
like this crazy overblown plot with no release valves i don't know how well i mean can i can i
present a theory to you i don't know if that's i don't yeah can i present an idea to you yeah
um literally anytime you want what maybe informs some of this lightness
And why it might start to erode
The further we get from this film
Yeah
I think
Because there's a scene we've spoken about before
When Dom does actually go to street race Letty
And they are having a sort of flirtation
And it's quite
It's sex
It's a form of sex with cars
It's interesting and sexy
Because here's people with an established dynamic
Obviously you know Letty has amnesia now but we as the audience know that these are these are sort
of soul mates as we understand in this universe and they're getting to come across each other for
the first time in a manner of words again and it is sexy and it is fun yes and it's very flirty yes
and um you know afterwards they sort of talk and he he recounts in quite a charged,
and it's still sexy, but less fun,
more like it's getting into the meat of their attraction.
They're going through the scars that they share
or that Leti has,
and he's sharing his memories of her
and sort of establishing that they do have a pre-existing dynamic.
And once more, it's sexy,
and it's exciting to see them
rekindling this romance it's exciting for us to know that lady is alive again after the fact that
she was killed in fast five and it's um it's exciting for dom and i think we watch we have
watched across the the following movies the spark in this relationship wax and wane
and probably that flame start to dim a little bit
as perhaps the candle burns to its nub
and the genuine attraction and excitement they feel around each other
wane to an extent.
And I think, I don't know if this is what's happened before fast six but i feel
like probably watching them caught each other in that back and forth across the movies beforehand
and watching that relationship develop and play out is very interesting and sexy and they're
discovering new things about each other and that's exciting as well i think if letty didn't
if letty didn't have that crash and then suffer from amnesia before that relationship would have finished before um you
know it would have finished off its own on its own terms it would have finished of its own steam
uh just you know in a very boring sort of real life way where it's like you know all of this
adrenaline we have coursing through our bodies all
of these missions we're running this excitement we have in our lives is not enough to paper over
the fact that we aren't doing it for each other anymore and we might work well together but that
doesn't mean that this is a you know this doesn't have to be our romantic relationship for the rest
of our lives it might be we need to take some time away and be colleagues heavy and so that gets
removed and you know it's like um i can't
remember who says it maybe paul walker paraphrases joni mitchell in this where he says don't it
always seem to go that you don't appreciate what you have until someone takes it away
and i think that's what dom is experiencing and put that on a t-shirt somewhere and what
lady's experiencing and i just think that think that it rekindles the relationship.
It's like you see it,
I used to see it when I watched...
I do want us to make a Paul Walker in memorial T-shirt
that has some beautiful shots of his face
in that quote that you just said.
To the tune of.
I just think, I mean mean it's just a theory
but I think
there's a lot of light and fun in this movie
because we do get to see them falling in love again
and you know that's exciting
and it feels authentic again
but also I don't think that they're meant to be together forever
and we see that as their
chemistry fizzles out
across the movies
we've already covered,
the prequels to Fast 6 and Fast 7, 8 and 9.
That sort of, I mean, I don't know how clearly I articulated it,
but that's the theory.
That's what I was angling towards.
And that's, I think, what I wanted to say and share.
It's an interesting thing to think about.
And I think you're probably right.
And the reason I asked how,
when you said that the relationship with would fizzle out
is i agree with you and i think letty would have ended it because i think dom is one of these dudes
it's a failure yeah a relationship not working reflects failure on him instead of perhaps mutual
growth exactly because i think he is a man who has very traditional ideas of what family is a christian movie franchise it is so christian
it is christian yeah it's it's chris tian it really is not that there's anything wrong with
that it's chris it's t it's ian but it's the three of them that's the bit that um you know
speaking of patty harrison i think i brought up the sort of American Empire building flavor
to this franchise, and that is deeply imbued in that part of its DNA.
It's like the Crusades, but the two things we're here to teach you
is the way, the truth, and the light, and cars are pretty fun.
Yeah, and I also want to say inside of that,
or, you know,
another thing I was saying
when we got into the weeds
talking about the guy who got cast
as the pompous British git
is I think there's a lot of fun in this movie
in the interplay between America
or like, you know, this cartoon of America
and also the even more cartoonish caricature of England.
And like even The Rock and his Judas Iscariot,
that woman who is on his side until she betrays him.
Nice, here we go.
When they go to the security place
and they say, we want to see the cameras.
And there's this sort of big British laddie guy
who's like, oh, you want to see the cameras, dude?
You know, he's like, what?
Who's that?
Who is it?
Saint Peter.
Oh, I see.
We're still in the Bible.
I didn't know either.
But he's, you know,
and he's got,
oh, you want to see,
you know,
and he's sort of trying to fob him off
and then he does the big strong arm handshake
and he crushes his hand.
Yeah.
And it's funny.
It's, I mean,
it's like,
it's a fun,
basic comedic beat.
It's like a traditional action movie trope.
It's like a hand, it's a very, it's like it's a fun, basic comedic beat. It's like a traditional action movie trope. It's not an original idea,
but it's very straightforward and clear and well executed.
And also on top of the difference in physical strength
between the two characters,
we have the collision of British and American ideology.
And it's fun.
You like that?
It's fun.
There's fun.
There is fun peppered throughout this movie
there is enough fun to counterbalance the heavy and somewhat labored and over choreographed action
sequences which is what makes the following movie so bottom heavy and makes it feel like they last
forever yeah did you feel that as much in this one? I actually
The arse on this one's not as heavy
It's not as grunty, no
In a good way
So here's the thing, you're at act two
Here I am
You're at the pinnacle of act two, the tank
The snouty tank
Fucking wrap it up
What are we at duration wise at that point? Like an hour forty?
But there's 44 minutes to go
Yeah exactly, we don't need it No but get this What are we at duration-wise at that point? Like an hour 40? But there's 44 minutes to go. Yeah, exactly.
We don't need it.
No, but get this.
What?
Get this.
Here we go.
You get through that and then they regroup
and then they prepare for the final act,
the big plane at night sequence.
In the other ones, you're not concluding,
you're not finishing the end of act two with 40.
You're at the start.
You've got 44 minutes of act three to get through. 44 here you're finishing up an act you're having a bit of fun
in between and then you're getting to what probably 30 minutes of action for the final act yeah but
even so it's still not ideal it's still too long but like it's so this is the margins are closer
i know but that's because we're going backwards So here they've still got the same structural problem with pacing and they just get more languid with it and overwrought as the movies go on
because they get their eye off the ball even more.
But it's still a problem that exists in this one.
It's just it gets bigger as we go increasing in numbers for the Fs.
So like I say, have some discipline in your storytelling.
Show us the tank tank he's got notes
cram in um your fun switcheroos which i believe happen after the tank in terms of the woman
switching side so we get a lady swapped for whatever the fuck your name is hobbs's um other
yeah um cram that all in we've we've also got to get uh uh what's gal gadot's name again uh giselle giselle and han
both have to die a bit early but we can we can we can bloody get there and we can all
there's so much happening in the tank sequence anyway we can bloody put that in we can put that
stuff in there all through just get that in chop off the final 40 and whole hot dog god damn i'm a
studio not oscar bait but fuck me what a film i'm a studio. Not Oscar bait, but fuck me.
What a film.
I'm a studio executive.
I'm enjoying it in its current.
Here I am.
Okay.
I'm in the room.
You're in the room.
Yeah.
I like it.
I just think we need to be aware of what we're up against here at Marvel.
You know, they're in space.
They are playing with, you know,
things that are far bigger than what we are allowed to here anchored to the
ground.
And so I just think we need more.
I don't think it's enough to build to that.
We need another action sequence.
Let me ask you something.
Okay.
When you're trying to put out a fire,
do you use more fire to put out that fire?
No, I call the fire brigade.
And what do they do?
They use water.
We are water.
You've got to be water.
You don't beat fire with fire.
We are water. Marvel is Marvel. We're not going to out marvel marvel because only marvel can do that we are the fast and the furious
and the first bit of the fast and the furious is fast and that's why i'm telling you gentlemen
an hour 40 is our perfect runtime not 220 not a plane sequence at night we ended on a beautiful tank
on a bridge
at an hour 40
I rest my case
this man might be right
but he's making me furious
and thus concluding
the second
promise of the premise
alright
we've got to do
shining lights
here's mine
oh fuck I didn't do
my top 5 vehicles
I want to fuck in the movie we'll bookmark that for next time so I was supposed to do Shining Lights Here's mine Oh fuck I didn't do my top 5 vehicles I want to fuck in the movie
We'll bookmark that for next time
Because I was supposed to do it last ep
It was the first watch
So much to love
I mean Smile of Vin
Well no I've already talked about it
Smile of Vin sounds like a line in a witch's spell
Toe of Newt
Smile of Vin
Make this movie fast again
Can I
I'll give you mine
I got one
Yeah yeah please
A criticism I have laid
At the feet of the franchise
And ludicrous
The love that you're winding up with
Here's what I hate
About the movie
No no no no
I think
Too many of the characters
Wear long trousers
In warm climates
It fucks me off It shits me no end They're wearing jeans on the characters wear long trousers and warm climates it fucks me
off it shits me no when they're wearing jeans on the beach they're wearing shoes in the sand
in this movie dominic toretto and the rock are both seen in the canary islands of spain
in the middle of summer wearing long trowel in the morning it pisses me off
to the point i wrote it on my phone i said too many characters in long trail warm climbs
but respite in the form of a recently minted ludicrous holidaying in god knows where
shirt off rig out board shorts on shark tooth necklace looking fucking good the whole picture
specifically the fact he's in shorts it advert advertises to me knowledge of self and weather
that fills me with pride.
But the whole set up.
The knowledge of weather that fills me with pride.
That's right.
Very good.
Love that.
There it is.
Here's mine.
There is a moment at the start of this movie
with these very cool skeleton car vehicles
that Shaw and crew have made made which are like an incredibly
bare-bones version of a car that is basically just an it's like the structural outline with
a ramp built on at the top and they're very low to the ground i've got a very powerful engine
so there's a very dramatic sequence where this woman who we've got a theory was way more in the
movie and got cut out um blonde
woman who British woman so yeah well that's my shining light is when yeah is so Paul Walker's
car gets fucked up by her car flipped over and as she drives past and he's like in real trouble now
his car's upside down and she she's escaped there's a slow motion sequence where she almost
drifts past him like it almost is a drift
with that it's the camera the camera slows on slow motion air so slow and she winks as she goes past
paul walker and i googled this briefly and nothing came up so maybe i'm wrong but it felt to me like
a reference to this meme i've seen online of luigi doing that in Kart. So, I don't know. But it was
my shining light this time. I'm happy
for you. And that is that.
Second watch of F6.
All in all, you'd have to say, pretty good.
What if I told you I only had to watch this movie four more
times? Here for it. That would be crazy.
I'm here for it. Well, that's the number.
See you at the next one. Yeah.
9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.