The Worst Idea Of All Time - 37: Real Rod

Episode Date: September 9, 2021

The Frosty Fellaz are back in the game because Emmanuelle has now decided to go Through Time for the franchise finale mini-series: Emmanuelle Through Time: Rod Steele 0014 & Naked Agent 0069. We're on a ROMP through time and space in a sex-powered, double ballooned blimp of all star soft core pornography. This exciting entry into the franchise sees a mash up of the world famous(?) Rod Steele franchise and the expansive world of Emmanuelle and also joining the fray - ACTUAL COMEDY! Steele is a Bond parody that keeps karate chopping young bucks and Tim and Guy are here for it.To see the mentioned "Who's on first" style Guy Man Scene, you can risk going to 22:11 at this dodgy web address: https://xhamster2.com/videos/emmanuelle-through-time-softcore-2890011JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: (facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTime) VISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: (littleempirepodcasts.com) MUSIC CREDIT: Tender Moonlight (facebook.com/TenderMoonlight) ART CREDIT: Tomas Cottle (sick-days.com) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

🎵 Hello everybody and welcome to an exciting new chapter and I believe our final leg of the Emmanuel journey in this, our fifth season of The Worst Idea of All Time. Hello, my name is Tim Batt. Hello Tim Batt, my name is Guy Montgomery and together we have just watched emmanuel through time rod steel 0014 and naked agent 0069 there is a sitting ovation from me for this film. I am stoked.

We've left behind the Trail of Fury and Fruity Debris that our, I can't even remember the name of that franchise, Eastern European Emmanuel 2000, was it? No, we're way past that. Secret? Oh. Wow. Don't know. Secret? Oh. Wow. Don't know.

I'll look it up. Really impressive. And now we are- Private collection. Private collection. And it should have been kept private. It shouldn't have been released to the public. But this, this lighthearted romp through a time-travelling blimp with a sort of ad hoc James Bond impression

was a veritable delight. Was the blimp fuck-powered? Hard to know. It did appear that the sort of, I guess that's the main power transmitter that people would fornicate around, and it did appear to blink up with lights and become more powerful the more that people fucked around it

i cannot speak highly enough of this movie um i'm so excited because the person who wrote this film has written more for us to watch in this series yeah this was so fun this it was great it was immediately clear it was going to be fun because the opening titles were like really of its time cheesy voiceover like here's the situation here are the stakes here's emmanuel this is what they're doing basically from what i could put together emmanuel is living in a blimp that the US military have, and the more she masturbates, the more powerful it can time travel to different eras, different places.

And I was a touch confused because it felt like we'd entered the franchise past its introduction point. And I did the research, and this is not the first in the Emmanuel Through Time franchise. Not that I think that's too devastating, but this was made in 2012. It's sort of one of many of the Emmanuel Through Time films, and it's a romp. It features a character. You have to drink every time Guy says romp from now on, dear listener.

That's the game. Romp. You shouldn't imbue me with that sort of power. I'll romp through this podcast. Well, I mean, it was just like, it was just a breath of fresh air. The dread that I felt before watching any of the previous Emmanuel films was so heavy. And within minutes, there were laughs.

There were, like, really sort of, I don't know if self-aware is right, but, like, really corny production values and gags. And, like, it was a movie that knew what it was. And it was fucking funny. It was legitimately really funny. It was genuinely too funny for a porno. Yeah, it was. We had a bitchin' new theme song to really get us in the mood.

We had special effects hot out the gate, circa 2004, for a film made in 2012. We've got blimps. Everybody knows I love blimps which is better than an airship you can't be too big to fail the blimp sort of also split the difference in its design between being a massive pair of knockers and a giant pair of balls so it was kind of both just this like double ballooned oval shaped blimp that would occasionally travel through portals to get our heroes to India or Egypt

for reasons that are not entirely clear. Despite the fact that this is an Emmanuel through time movie, we spend most of our time and most of our dialogue on Rod Steele, who is an established pornographic character in his own right, but portrayed by a different man to the man we see in this one, which is all that weird conversation

they have at the end where- Yeah, I was going to say- It all gets incredibly meta and self-referential at the end. And that is all referring to the fact that we're watching a character which exists in porno uh canon but a different person portraying him and the guy's the actor's name is donovan which is why there's all of that how deep have we found ourselves in the um softcore pornography

multiverse when you went like there are crossover movies crossover characters and you know about them did you know about rod still before no i googled all of this i was just like i was like man the the quality of the jokes here suggests to me that there is stuff going on in this script that i don't fully have my head around so i just started um googling around and and found all of this stuff out so this is like a this is emmanuel through time was having a good a good you know good run though like we're having fun with the franchise again we're putting in jokes we're introducing new characters what if we borrowed from whatever what was the what is the um series that rod steel lives

in rod steel that's the name of the franchise yeah that well that's yeah i guess so that's the name of the character like a clash of the titans style softcore pornography so rod steel and emmanuel sort of team up and um time and space also probably the most important thing you have to know Is that Robert Donovan, the actor portraying Rod Steele in this film Is doing a bad Sean Connery impersonation For the whole movie And it absolutely rocks

And he's been given Some great lines Like at one point he kicks a guy and the guy's on the ground he said ain't that a kicker it's like yes yeah that was probably my favorite running gag through the entire film so emmanuel is dating a guy named william who's sort of this hapless handsome fella who you kind of want to see with his trousers down but you never get to and rod steel has on their time-traveling mission, Rod Steele somehow has stumbled into their blimp,

and everyone's like, who's this guy? And he's like, I'm Rod Steele, 0014. And every time William comes into the room, he just equalizes him. He just hammers his neck, he kicks him, he puts him on the floor. And he's always like, don't startle me! But it's just a very simple gag they go back to time and again

and it works every time. It's admirable. It's a lot of fun. It was my shining light just seeing Robert Donovan, who is a man I would suggest is in his early 70s in this film. He looks old. Just karate chopping a fit, sexy 35-year-old multiple times in the flick. You're telling me that this guy Donovan did not play Rod Steele in the actual original franchise?

No, there was a different guy playing Rod Steele. That is crazy. Why would you then introduce a 70-something-year-old to play an established character if it's not the original actor? I don't know. What I can tell you is that Rolf Kanofsky, who's the writer of this and some of the other Emanuels that we're going to be treated to soon. So he's predominantly a horror film writer. And he has a shitload of credits.

He's got, on IMDb, 33 directing credits, six acting credits, five producer credits and as of right now 74 films that he's written the guy is a goddamn workhorse anything we've heard of apart from emmanuel through time rod steel 0014 and naked agent 0069? I would suggest not. Just scanning through. No. No. No.

No. But that's fine. Yeah. He's probably not heard of us either. Exactly. Exactly. No harm, no foul there. But it was just so nice to be in a safe pair of comedy hands for a while.

but it was just so nice to be in a safe pair of comedy hands for a while. There's a scene where 0014 has to go on a plane and he's been given all his gadgets. So, you know, if you've seen a Bond movie, you'll know this. There's always a sequence where he visits Q and gets his gadgets for that movie, and they're always brand new and cool and different somehow suited for that movie's tasks. And in this, there, his inventor dude, there's P, who's really smart,

and then there's another guy who he decides to call P2, which is a great gag instead of going to Q. And P2 gives him a whole bunch of, like, deadly weapons that are hidden inside pens and stuff, and there's a sequencer who's getting on a plane and he has to declare them. And a guy from airport security is just very straight faced like yeah you you cannot take that laser on the plane you cannot take that poisonous gas onto the plane you cannot take that gun on and it's just like he's such a great straight man to this very goofy sean connery impersonator it's it's fucking fun man

it is it is fun i do the more we talk about it the more i realize we're probably trapped in a um an abusive cycle of having you know being starved for comedy oxygen from this previous emmanuel franchise that um us loving this movie is not a recommendation. You watch it. Oh, fuck off. Just be in the moment, man. Let your guard down a little. Go watch this film.

Okay. I just did, so I'm not going to watch it again. I was talking to the listener. Yeah, I know. I was being a prick. I mean, I don't know. I'm realizing now, Tim, that I'm tired. Yeah, fair enough. I am a bit too.

But let me read you a review from Letterboxd on this film. Four and a half stars. Out of five? Yeah. That's high. This the emmanuel through time series at its best colorful joyous funny wickedly meta kanefsky is a master of the softcore comedy and there are a few times he's done a better piece of work than this robert donovan's rod steel character previously appeared in 1997's balls of of Thunder, also written and directed by Konefsky. You don't need to have seen it, you do need to know it exists. The punchline the movie ends with is absolutely spectacular, and a beautifully affectionate tribute to the long-running friendship and working relationship between Konefsky and Donovan.

long-running friendship and working relationship between kinofsky and donovan donovan of course is in particular wonderful particularly wonderful form here his mentoring of jack is hilarious and there's such great chemistry between the two of them renee's brief appearance is also a highlight but that tends always to be the case you didn't write that no No, this is some person describing themselves as maths. Man, maths is deep. I mean, I thought we were deep in the soft core multiverse, but this motherfucker knows everything. It makes sense. So the writer-director of this Emmanuel film,

I mean, this is like, you know, this is mecca for a soft core director-writer to be given the keys to not just the Bond parody porn, but also, you know, deep in its run, but in a manual franchise and to bring them together is like, that's James Gunn, you know, smashing Marvel and DC into one another. That is untold riches to play with. And he, you know, he does And he does his best with them. It is unmasturbable movie watching. It is too funny to come. Would you agree? I would agree.

This was not like a bit of nudity, but there's not a ton of porn in this porno yeah can i get deep in the weeds on this robert donovan uh actor though was she so on robert donovan's own imdb page uh this is this is his quote that he wrote as in like remember me with this quote no matter what level of success you achieve, keep your feet on the ground and your head out of your ass

and the last line of this man's own IMDB page, the late great Robert Donovan who passed away a few years ago he wrote this himself in third person which rocks, retirement is long away for Robert, and he has said he fully expects to work through lunch

on the day of his funeral. How good is that? He did seem like a fun guy. He was the best actor in the movie. He was the most relaxed and secure within himself. He knew what he was bringing to the table. I feel like he was probably great to act against because you know that sort of calm presence can really imbue the people around him with confidence um and it sounds like he was a you know like

something he was passionate about pornography and like also if we talk about passionate about pornography ron jeremy yeah world world famous porn star was in this movie like all the stars are out tonight also important to say that this guy Donovan he didn't get he generated a lot of the sex but he didn't have sex at all

no and I think that was for the best yes he would train secret agents to prepare for being like his whole thing is do you want to be a secret like his whole thing is you want to be a secret agent the main thing you got to be able to do is seduce literally anyone and you gotta fuck a lot like a maniac so anyone who expressed any interest in being a secret agent or him he was like oh okay and then he'd encourage them to have sex with whoever was handy. He wasn't into it. He was just watching.

It was like the Patrick Stewart scene from Extras. Have you seen Extras? Yeah, yeah. It was literally exactly like what Patrick Stewart describes in Extras, where it's just an old guy going around in situations where he gets to see everyone be naked. Yeah. The closest that we get to a sex scene with Rod Steele

is there's a bit where he gets shot in the shoulder and they're trying to remove the bullet, but too much blood is coming out. So the doctor says, if only there was a way to lower his blood pressure, to redirect the blood from his body into a different body part. And then on cue, a sexy buxom nurse in a low-cut top walks onto the scene

and he gets a big boner. Very tastefully done. We don't see anything under the pants. We just see a nice little bit of simple special effects, little tent pop up. Oh, yeah. Little tent pop back down when they take the bullet out. Actually, there was one other sex scene for him, kind of.

He gets given a, towards the end of the movie, he gets given a tool that can hypnotize anyone who looks at it. For a matter of minutes, they'll do whatever you say. And he sort of very comically uses it on himself twice in a row. I say very comically. Didn't hit super hard, but, you know, the premise was there. And then he's out in the field and he's applying his technology and there's a woman showering and he's had to hide

because he's broken into a house. And I actually wasn't very clear on the motivation for this at all. I didn't know quite. Yeah, me neither. I lost the plot a little bit midway through. Yeah, towards the end of the movie when it was like, the whole thing at the end of the movie was like, this is a character from another movie,

and here's who that person is. It became very confusing, but basically he breaks into a house, there's a woman having a shower, he hypnotizes them, and then massages her breasts. Is that right? Yep, Sounds right. That's close to a sex scene. I was going deep on Robert Donovan's IMDB,

who I hasten to add studied improv comedy under the apparently legendary Harvey Limbeck and apparently was classmates with Robin Williams. Wow. We lost two legends too soon. Robert Donovan? And Robin Williams. Yeah. The two R's of improv comedy and dramatic acting.

Yeah. Can I ask and dramatic acting. Yeah. Can I ask you, Tim? Yeah. When you hear improv, do you assume it's going to be comedy? Yes, I do. When you see the word improv? Yeah. I know this is an argument that you had with Chelsea,

and I've taken your side on this, but I also don't want you to pass that on to Chelsea I shan't and she doesn't listen to this so you need not worry we are safe yeah she doesn't listen to me and my boy Tim prattling on about pornography

she's a conscientious objector I was like you'd love it what do you want more than Tim and Guy talking about whether or not they got a boner this week? And she said, anything else. Do you think this was the best we've watched in this season? Up there with Emmanuel in space. It's all about where it lands in the franchise.

in the franchise and it's just night and day with the private collection and so it really hit hard. Like as soon as we were watching it, I was like, wow, I'm going to enjoy this. And I did. Do I think it's the best? No, because it lost a little cohesion at the end. It got a little bit too, and Robert Donovan will hate me saying this, up its own ass.

He would hate that. When they were like, yeah, we're going to fold in the other movie franchise. Like, you know, how many people are watching multiple softcore porn franchises and hoping to see them collide. Oh, I don't know, man. I actually think that audience is potentially quite big. I think this was true fan service to a good sector of the community out there. Put a number on it.

How many people do you think watch this and be like, wow, finally, Rod Steele and Emmanuel? Tens of thousands, maybe not hundreds of thousands globally. I think there is a small but fervent community who were hungry for this crossover and appreciated the meta references. Not unlike maths on Letterboxd. Exactly. He's the representative of the community.

I can't think. Maybe the first Emmanuel in space movie was better than that when like emmanuel's um car break no when heffron's car breaks down and he meets emmanuel and like they're establishing the world of that uh you know subset of the franchise and there's comedy it wasn't as fun as this though i think this was still more fun the special effects stuff and this was really fun the big blimp the big time traveling sex-powered blimp uh that's really fun the it's also very self-referential like outside of being a crossover episode of a softcore porno uh emmanuel.tv is like written

on the side of the blimp like the blimp is advertising emmanuel a website featuring emmanuel and there's a guy who hosts a tv show about like the worst fake orgasms that take place in emmanuel movies there is also in similar vein a scene where they're choosing on the fly some aliases to protect their secret agent identities when they go into the kitty cat club and uh the actor robert donovan portraying rod steel picks the name donovan and then emmanuel is like what a ridiculous alias and he says what do you mean you've had many aliases over the years sylvia cristal krista allen holly sapson just names all the previous emmanuel's this is cool. I like stuff like that.

Some real fourth wall busting. They also did a lot of play around with my name, Guy Mann. Yeah, there's, I think, the central antagonist, the sort of villain central to the plot, which I don't fully understand, is a guy called Guy Mann. And there is one exchange where it's a who's on first and it fucking works. It's beautifully done.

I think I should put that in the episode. I don't know if I can. I'll see if I can pull that off. Clip the audio. Yeah, yeah. You think that's the best Emmanuel we've seen? Do you know the first one and maybe two emmanuels are very good just as movies you know what i mean like not comedy or anything but as cinema they're good so i think i

would go emmanuel one emmanuel two and then emmanuel through time emmanuel uh rod steel steel double o 14 in naked agent 69 yeah the whole naked agent double o 69 gag it look he it doesn't get old they at the end they introduced the double o 69 from the actual original rod steel franchise and he's like two double o 69s the possible configurations are endless there's a line in this because he's ranked as a colonel uh rod steel and there's all these sexy sexy uh secret agents that he's training and they dress him as colonel and he says do i look like a piece of uncooked popcorn then drop the colonel would you it's good i've been starved of this shit It's good. I've been starved of this shit.

Yeah. It is good. I'm stuffing my face with acceptably good comedy. Counterpoint, though. It is a balancing act. Some people watch these movies to masturbate, Tim. What do you say to them? They're furious, you know? What do you say to them?

They're furious You know Their turgid penises Are screaming out for more attention But they're being too intellectually stimulated By the barrage of jokes I'm not saying it would be impossible These guys want a cum soaked fiesta Not a raucous romp

I'll put it this way You would have to be quick about it. You would have to get your shit together to masturbate to completion to this movie because the window of opportunity is not open for long. And the thing is that to be that prepared, you'd almost need to be going at it on second watch. It's difficult to know when it's coming on first watch. That's true.

You know how there's that website that lets you know when you can go to the bathroom and you won't miss like a totally key part of the plot. No, I never heard about that. Oh yeah. That's a thing. I wonder if there's a website where they're like, this is where you start masturbating.

Yeah. Pretty much. Wasn't that Mr. Skin? Mr. Skin. No, Mr. Well, I guess it skin no mr well i guess it was yeah i guess it was mr skin was like this is when the person is naked right this is the frame when you can see glean clothes his naked breasts oh man that was like a subplot and that seth wrote and um knocked up. Yeah.

They were making that website and then they found out that Mr. Skin exists. Yeah, yeah. It's crazy. Do you have any other critiques of this movie apart from the fact that it might be a little bit difficult to masturbate to completion to? Number one, tough to jerk it to. Yeah. Number two, basically just the ass falls out at the end oh you say that but like if we had got those references man i reckon it would have hit so hard

that's true i just think i'm looking forward to the emmanuel in time for you know like i was trying to withdraw last week and you said no we're nearly there and you you were right you were right to do that um i think i would like i'm looking forward to seeing one that is not a crossover like is not i admire what they've done and i'm you know glad for everyone involved but yeah one that is purely emmanuel because it did feel like that they were wedging two movies into one here I love the idea of a sex powered time travelling double ballooned blimp

as much as the next guy I like the fact that they got a student from a polytechnic to animate the blimp but I feel like as soon as Rod Steele got on the blimp. But I feel like as soon as Rod Steele got on the blimp, we weren't going to get to follow the journey of the blimp. Rod Steele was in charge.

And I do just want to see this movie or this franchise without Rod Steele. He was the best part of the movie as well. This is not to take anything away from him, but he diluted the focus of the blimp. I also think we're dealing with a good Emmanuel. Let me see who this actor is. I can't find her name right now. It's okay.

It was Brittany something, I think. I'll get it up for you. Tell me what you thought of her acting. Wait, let me make a double entendre on that. Thought you never would. Britney Joy. Would. And would was spelt with two O's.

So now it's also about getting an erection. Yeah, dog. What do you think of her performance? Thought it was good. Wanted to see more of her. Just in terms of screen time, we saw her fully naked, so that's fine. We got what was on the tin there.

Shout out from the rooftops, brother. I actually stumbled on an article which has a bit of a, like, chronological wander through the whole Emmanuel franchise. And I was just kind of looking for nuggets, but they're basically just name-checking all of the films that have been made. Oh, and actually, they've got a screenshot here of the video game. Also got a reference to the Carry On spin-off or edition, I guess. Unsuccessful edition. But they do talk about

Elaine how do you say his last name again? Seredzky. Who passed away in 2014. So what we're watching now I believe to be his final entries into the genre of film. These were his final work products. And it's so nice to see him end on something of a high and a bit of a departure from his normal stuff.

Because this isn't, what we're watching at the moment is not what we've been watching for years in terms of, you know, movies when they came out, this is something really special and really different. And after the absolute shit fest, that was a manual private collection. We've earned this.

And I think Elaine has as well. Well, it's just nice to sort of, you know, you can chart the ebbs and flows of Elaine's spirit through the Emmanuel franchises. And I feel like maybe he was feeling quite brooding, pensive, reflective during the private collection. But you can see now he's accepted his own mortality. He's accepted the cyclical nature of life and the fact that we, of course, must all embrace the end of our time on this rock. And he said, well, if that's what it is,

if life is but a handful of fleeting pornographic moments, I don't need to take myself so seriously. I can have fun and when elaine's having fun there's a pretty high chance you're having fun too when he's navel gazing when he's worrying about being faithful to the original vision of the emmanuel franchise while also folding in details of his lifestyle the challenges he faces as a creative in los angeles lifestyle the challenges he faces as a creative in los angeles that's when you wind up with some daft drab boring ass movies but when he's like i am elaine suritsky well-known pornographer a man whose life is about to end i want my nephew to do the special effects on a blimp which is

impossible to ascertain whether or not it's balls or tits. And I want this blimp to be powered by the power of a woman masturbating. And if I don't get it, I'll die right now. But that's what I want. And he got it. He got to die having seen his vision come to life. That's very sweet. I almost feel like we should end the episode right there

because I am not 100% sure on the current status of our regular episode guests who tend to come in and make themselves known. I'm somewhat sure that the boner inspector has been barred for a time. I have something to say. Why, if that isn't George Lazenby. I understand you've watched some sort of

born, born, born, born porn parody in my absence. Yeah, that's correct. It was pretty good too Was it erotic? It was erotic at times

But the bits involving the Bond knockoff Weren't that erotic Was he doing a Lazenby or a Connery accent? He was doing a Connery There's your problem You think he should have been doing My voice British Australian Yeah. You think you should have been doing... My voice.

British, Australian... Hey, actually, George Lazenby, you're still alive. You could do this. I posted on my Instagram yesterday encouraging people to get vaccinated. I have 11,000 followers. Fuck, good for you, man. I think it would be incredible to, I mean, it's one thing to take the idea of Bond and parody it and put it into the Emmanuel universe.

It is something altogether different and deeper and more satisfying to see a man who has portrayed Bond officially get into the Emmanuel franchise. What do you think? Do you want to see a video of me fucking my wife? trade bond officially get into the Emmanuel franchise. What, what do you think? Do you want to see a video of me fucking my wife? Not necessarily.

In fact, no, I don't. And I would suggest that you take a leaf out of the movie that guy and I just watch his book, which is that we had a sort of elder Statesman of the porno featuring in but not in any kind of naked way well agree to disagree i'll um i'll mail it to you i've got your mailing address oh okay you're gonna send me the sex tape i'll send you the video yeah yeah okay very good all

right um she's all cool too so you don't need to worry about that. Yeah, okay. Sounds good, buddy. Nice to see you. She's the one making me send it. Find it my way. It'll be just for us. But no, she's telling me to mail it to everyone I know.

She's worried she's going to fuck me to death. Is that related to why she wants the video distributed? Yeah, I think she sort of thinks of it as our legacy. I see. Okay. I'm in my tuxedo for a lot of it. That's cool, man. I'm going to be honest.

Then I'm really not in the tuxedo at all. I've got no desire to sort of explore this, to get into the weeds of it with you. There's a scene where I put a gun up my asshole. Oh, God. Why do you do that? I don't know. I just was improvising.

Yeah, okay. Well, no bad ideas in an improv, I think. That's the old saying. Anyway, I'll be going. Bye, George. Not so bad this time, you've got to say, Guy. Yeah. He's on better behavior.

I mean, I'm glad he did stop by, because I couldn't help but feel like he would have been very excited by that movie. Yeah, definitely. Bringing together a few of very excited by that movie. Yeah, definitely. Bringing together a few of the things he loves best. Yeah, indeed. Buddy, should we close it off there? I'd love to. I'm so tired.

Tren up this thing in the head. Yeah, I'm quite tired as well. And look, all in all, three and three quarter stars from Timbo. Yeah, turgid time. I'd say half erect. So if you're rating it out of 10, five and a half. Not a bad day at the office. Not a bad day at the office.

We'll see all of you next time. We'll see some of you in the Patreon where we're going to be watching something for the Deciders Club. And stay safe and be nice to me.