The Worst Idea Of All Time - 41: Sledging (W/ Chelsie Crayford Preston)

Episode Date: May 13, 2019

Guy's mum and partner are saddened and frustrated by his constant work on the project. Timbo believes he has the solution to this: Guy must cut these people out of his life. Monty's partner, Chelsea s...teps out of the shadows to put her thoughts on Steve into a microphone. The boiz establish the wedding guests at Big and Carrie's big day and devolve into a full-throated sledging match. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 we just have a good rhythm together you know he sort of feels me out i feel him out and we go for it folks friends countrymen lend me your ears this is the 41st episode of the fourth season of the worst idea of all time a podcast hosted by me guy montgomery and myself tim batt where we watch and review a movie 52 times in a row usually we do it over the span of a year but we wanted to challenge ourselves in this fourth season so we decided to watch it twice a week sex in the city is the movie we selected and I regret it immensely. I'd like to welcome my co-host, Guy Montgomery. Hello Tim. It's an overcast day, afternoon here in foggy Wellington town. I've just watched Sex and the City, broken up over the course of the day. I've just watched Sex and the City, broken up over the course of the day. It's incredible.
Starting point is 00:01:09 If you really want to, it can stretch out across an entire day and derail not just your morning, but also your lunch and your afternoon tea. How on God's green earth are you? So the movie can span days. It can also span into a podcast record, which is what has happened right now. A little back story for you, dear libertarian listener. Guy and I, we set in stone our record time. Very annoying and very hard at the moment because Guy's performing his comedy festival show.
Starting point is 00:01:39 I'm in the midst of trying to put the finishing touches on mine as it opens next week. And we said 4 p.m. Well, originally we said 2 p.m. midst of trying to put the finishing touches on mine as it as it opens next week and uh and we said 4 4 p.m where originally we said 2 p.m and then i said i can't do that because uh the bonus of the heart needs to record then and uh and and then you helpfully moved it and then they unhelpfully moved themselves but anyway i got too high as the long and short of it and i miscalculated the time um because i was going hard out on the computer doing things so and i'm watching the the movie right now what are you watching i'm watching um carrie bradshaw opened some emails from keats and voltia and some others um after an illiterate big has scribbled the runes that he's seen
Starting point is 00:02:28 in the books down on a a button machine and um managed to email that through to carrie carrie's computers does he call it the button machine the button the button machine is just the keyboard part that's what he calls the keyboard what's the screen part called the looky machine the looky machine yeah as far as he as far as he understands they are disconnected yeah he does he he has no concept for what like a processor is or a hard drive or anything he just knows the things that he directly interacts with so he knows the button machine and the looky machine but he still figured out how to send an email so that's pretty good yeah oh brother that poor fella um so yeah you're watching you know what will soon become a blessed reunion between these
Starting point is 00:03:17 two sorry spoilers for anyone who hasn't seen the film you fucking cuck i can't believe you did that to me uh i have watched it in the company of uh wonderful chelsea who's who's currently um with me and who did not respond well to the film really at all became very cross and angry and also birthed probably in my opinion one of or at least you know to my own tastes and watching the film one of the most controversial takes i've been party to across our two seasons of sex in the city related podcasting which is that steve not just steve the character but david eigenberg portraying steve is the weak link in this film. Get fucked. You need to break up with Chelsea, and that makes me so sad, man. I'm really sorry to hear about the end of your relationship.
Starting point is 00:04:11 How does that make you feel? Outraged, frankly. And why? Because Chelsea's a good person, and she's smart. She directs. She acts. She writes. She does it all.
Starting point is 00:04:24 But she's so off off she couldn't be more wrong she's uh just appeared at the doorframe as though she's here to defend herself uh-huh oh you want to hear what tim has to say well come in here i'm going to put put the headphones on you i'm not going to be able to hear you tim but Chelsea is and she's mic'd so please, no just put them on it's ok Chelsea can you hear me? yeah you can hear me? yeah
Starting point is 00:04:51 ok great, can I get you to move a little bit closer to the telephone that's got this call on it what about this? is that good? it'll do, it's pretty good look Chelsea here's the thing I've just been given some information that you think Steve, both the character and the actor portraying him,
Starting point is 00:05:11 are the weak link in this movie. Okay, I've got something to say about that. Yeah. This is not what I would say. I would not say Steve and the actor portraying him are the weak link in the film. No. I would say it is a film pretty much purely constructed of weak links but he is the worst actor in the film i will say that
Starting point is 00:05:35 you're crazy no no no no why why what how is he worse than say say, Big, for example? Because I'm looking at his big body lying on the floor right now. Don't get me wrong. I hate Big. I hate his face. Big has no character, which is why when he sticks his tongue out, when he surprises Carrie at the end with the girls, it seems out of character because he doesn't have a character. But Steve is always trying to cry
Starting point is 00:06:07 steve is always trying to cry i just can't handle it he's always got a little shaky lip going and he's like forcing it out and it's uncomfortable to watch his face does things he's not in control of and not in a good way you are actually making some valid points because um guy and i've had an argument about this in the past the scene where he reveals to miranda that um he has been cheating on her uh yeah it's the worst it's so bad yeah i don't buy that i made us re-watch that a few times because wow it's painful that sucks for guy in particular um yeah the thing is though like i i got brushed aside with that because guy convinced me so thoroughly that uh it was good it was good acting in there and i was like well i guess i was wrong
Starting point is 00:06:58 yeah horribly wrong yeah i can't hear what tim's saying but oh okay you can't hear this wrong no i can't hear any of it obviously But no you keep going because I want you to challenge Tim the way that you challenged me Yeah because I want you I have one question for both of you because I have my own hypothesis about this but I have
Starting point is 00:07:18 one question for both of you and I really want you to be able to hear this I want to know what you think the writer thought the intention like thought the point of the film was thought the message of the film was well chelsea there's no easy way to do this because i think you've only got one pair of headphones there so there is yeah wait here. Okay, we can both hear you. Guy, I want to hear your answer
Starting point is 00:07:48 to what Mattress Pikelet King's intent on the theme of this piece of cinema was first. I don't think he set out to make anything with any sort of message. I believe it was purely, he banked on the fact that people wanted to see these characters put through their paces. And there was no secondary thought to it.
Starting point is 00:08:10 There was no extra layer. I think, in the same way you've accused me of before, that Chelsea's overthinking it and giving Mattress Pikelet too much credit. Look, in order to write a two and a half hour movie, which almost certainly was longer in script form. Yep, started at 300 pages what oh my god yeah oh my god it's in the book i'm looking at it right now it's on my bookshelf in here i got a book about it oh my god oh my god um yeah okay that's horrifying on so many levels i to write that much material you have to think that you're writing something you can't just that's like yes the end result but i don't think that that can be
Starting point is 00:08:52 his intention i think he thinks there's a message i think he's unintentionally uh kind of conjured up a message that actually is quite a good one. Oh shit, what's that? So this came to me in the New Year's scene, the New Year's montage. I think that he, I think that what the message is of the film, either intentionally or unintentionally,
Starting point is 00:09:21 is that everybody is lonely because they are selfish. that intentionally or unintentionally is that everybody is lonely because they are selfish. Like that is a message for human beings as a species. Yeah, but don't you think that that's what happens in the film? Everybody is lonely because they're so selfish. Not Charlotte. She's a sweetheart and she's happy. And Harry has sex with her all the time.
Starting point is 00:09:43 It's brilliant. And she cradles his head yeah yeah anyway Chelsea I also just want to remind you
Starting point is 00:09:54 that yeah I'm watching the movie and there's a lot of THC he's high on the illegal drug marijuana
Starting point is 00:10:01 oh god okay but it was for a good reason it was for a good reason. It was for work purposes. I don't know how you guys repeatedly watch this movie. Did you not just hear, Guy?
Starting point is 00:10:13 I'm high as balls. That is both how I listen, literally, the function in which I listen, and the how I manage to get through it, figuratively. Oh, my God. Yeah. Well, what do you think the movie's about, Tim? I think it's about love, Guy. And I know that because Mattress Spike, King, keeps
Starting point is 00:10:31 telling me. He tells me in a key ring, he tells me in a song, he tells me in the script, he tells me through a bong. Everywhere there's love flowing through this movie. If I could throw it in a bin, that'd be super groovy. Because something rhymes, it doesn't make it good. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:10:50 I thought I did pretty well there, to be honest. Also, credits are rolling. I've never been happier to see them. Congratulations. I think if you... What a journey. Have you got anything else to say, Chels? She's given me the headphones back
Starting point is 00:11:05 oh any parting thoughts on the theme oh sorry chelsea yes go i don't know i need to go and just get myself back together because no no no this has taken us all morning to watch. It's not how the podcast works. Well, sadly, I rigged it up so that we're on a set of headphones that are very challenging to share. So you can only really talk to one of us at a time, Tim. You're kind of running the point guard here, and we're bouncing off you. Feel free to return any time.
Starting point is 00:11:45 There's plenty of space in this room um yeah she did get pretty despondent watching the film i we had a coffee with my mom and dad earlier today and mom was actually pretty brokenhearted about me watching the film so funnily enough after i lamented her indifference she's really capitulated you need to cut everyone out of your life who isn't involved with the the podcast in a positive way that does not sound like that does not sound good we need to establish the perimeter here okay it's just it's it's you and me now and we've got a bunch of pals sitting in a little area called the friend zone um and you can you can find them they're there they're sending us good good thoughts positivity hopes and prayers and we need to get rid of
Starting point is 00:12:29 everybody else from our lives and we just need to surround ourselves with the good worst idea folk that's it wait it's the friend zone and nothing what you're saying is the opposite of what needs to happen no i'm right absolutely no no no you happy 420 oh and to you my friend um did you have any thought genuine movie watching thoughts or were you kind of in and out the whole time man um you know i was there i was there the whole time the movie was happening you did it you did it you did it in the same way people go back to work
Starting point is 00:13:08 after lunch on a Friday yeah or in England on like a Thursday when it seems custom to have about 16 beers yeah
Starting point is 00:13:17 here's what I'll say I couldn't stand everyone shutting down Samantha this watch I'm like I just think they need to give her some more oxygen to be Samantha. And what else did I think? But her character's so thin in this film.
Starting point is 00:13:36 Oh, you've been listening to Chelsea too much. This film's brilliant. Everyone's perfectly drawn, three-dimensional characters. That's easy for you to say the less engaged you are the better the movie becomes so if you're not watching what they're saying or paying attention to the narrative then all of a sudden anything's possible the sky's the limit it's so true it's so fucking true what you're saying this is like this is the recurring lesson from all of our work together, is that the less time you spend with the characters,
Starting point is 00:14:10 and this is what elevates secondary characters to superstar status in our eyes. We are not given the opportunity to resent them, and so we don't. Okay, here's what we need to do then, I think, is VR. Is there some way to get the movie closer to our brains can you just get normal movies and put them in like vr goggles is that a thing because i think we should we should need to do that i don't i don't think that's a thing i don't know man
Starting point is 00:14:38 it could be it could be i'm fairly certain it's not um i'd like i'm sure it is because i think you can watch netflix on on like uh vr so there must just be a version where you can just put normal man video content on i want i want to be in it i want to be in the movie and that's where you're getting your information from and no you don't uh no i don't want to be in the movie. Hey, dude. Hey, dude. I didn't even notice this. Do you know the paint foreman and the standby paint foreman are father and son? They've got the same name, and it's senior and junior.
Starting point is 00:15:13 God, that's cute. I had no idea. Okay, I think you're in an interesting position right now mentally, Tim, and I've got some information I want to throw at you. I want you to help me out here. I have in my hot little hand the first page of the invitation list for the wedding of one Carrie Bradshaw
Starting point is 00:15:36 and John James Preston. Hot shit. Now, it's well established in the film that Mr. Big is wanting for friends the guy has literally no one in his life i don't know if that's because he's unlikable or he's pushed them all away or through his two previously failed marriages and you know slew of affairs he sort of painted himself into a social corner in the new york scene but i'm going to read out some names and you just tell me who they are and what their relationship is absolutely to to the to the the couple to be wed so first on the list we've got
Starting point is 00:16:12 samantha jones and smith jared one and two hollywood power couple on the rise smith jared you might know from general hospital and a bunch of Ag campaigns in which he looks Very beautiful and Greek godlike His partner Slash agent is The powerful and wise Samantha Jones who has recently Moved from the east to west coast
Starting point is 00:16:37 To double up on both their careers She's a delight She's a powerhouse She's a negotiator second to none If that woman steps into your office you should be equal parts excited and scared because something big's going to happen but she's probably going to get the upper hand in it charlotte york goldenblatt harry goldenblatt lily goldenblatt charlotte york sweetheart to the masses, truly the people's princess. You may recognize her from her art gallery days,
Starting point is 00:17:10 where she was a purveyor of the finest of fine arts. And her husband is, of course, divorced lawyer Harry Goldenblatt, who you'll recognize from Temple. He's a lovely man, and he's here to support you when you're going through a tough time with your marriage vis-a-vis he's a divorce lawyer. Their kids, unspeakably gorgeous. We've got Lily,
Starting point is 00:17:37 who is their adopted daughter from China. There's no Rose. There's no Rose. I'm going to stop you there. No. You've got to listen to the names I'm giving to you because this is the wedding list so that rose is not even a twinkle in her father's eye at this point so then we've got miranda hobbs steve brady and brady hobbs uh speaking of lawyers and you're speaking of miranda because uh she's as good as they come what kind of law does she practice i
Starting point is 00:18:03 don't know what kind of law do you need done that's uh that's sort of how that works and steve oh manager of the finest bar in new york city steve spa they've got a son together um won't lie to you they fucked up on the naming scheme uh his name's his name's brady brady hobbs um and he's the future Rat King, but we don't know that yet. Okay. Now, Stanford Blatch. Stanford Blatch. What can I tell you about him?
Starting point is 00:18:36 He looks like Dana Carvey in Master of Disguise, but slightly more attractive. I mean, he's a guy who exists exists he's round and uh you know snappy dresser um now we're getting into sort of the great unknown as fleshed out in the sex in the movie universe marcus adant marcus adant independent film financier slash money laundering uh does a lot of work with the saudis to get uh get past certain restrictions and avoid paying certain taxes to certain governments wink wink nudge nudge if you know what i mean all right and now we're getting into i'm very interested to hear what you know about these people i'm going to run through five of them
Starting point is 00:19:25 Harriet Preston, Melvin Preston Kip Preston Tucker Preston and Taylor Preston The original Avengers they are a collection of comic book characters come to life after Stan Lee accidentally
Starting point is 00:19:42 left an early edition of the Avengers sort of an early edition of The Avengers, sort of an early draft, inside a microwave, and the radiation sort of interacted with the ink on the page, and the Prestons came to life. The original version, certainly not as good as the one that we've been treated to in the graphic novels, comic books, and big screen movies that you've seen.
Starting point is 00:20:04 The original ones were a very strange choice for Stan Lee, but champions of white supremacy. So real baddies. I'm disappointed that they're at the wedding. Who asked them? It certainly would not be mine. Big. He owes them a favor, but we can't get into it.
Starting point is 00:20:22 They share a surname. Yeah. That share a surname. Yeah. That was the favor. Okay. Mimi Relyea. I'm sorry. Mimi Relyea. R-E-L-Y-E-A.
Starting point is 00:20:39 Susan Haydeald. Eric Mead. No, Enid Mead, sorry, and Enid Mead Guest. They're actually just the wedding band, but they've accidentally been put on the guest list. They've got a Latin jazz quartet called The Cucarachas. The Cockroaches. The Cockroach. The Cucarachas The cockroaches Your cockroach Alright The names become increasingly difficult to read from here
Starting point is 00:21:11 Yeah I mean Is this still a fun thing to be doing At this point? Barely I didn't realise that you were going to detail everyone But you did, I mean it was a great Refresher course on who the lead characters are I respect that. Yeah, man.
Starting point is 00:21:27 I respect you. I respect the project. Do you know what I did earlier today? Because I've been sifting through old footage of me online to make some ads. And I watched the... There's a video we made to announce the birth of Season 2. And it's that retrospective through season one yeah you know the one i'm talking about it's on youtube absolutely did you enjoy watching it
Starting point is 00:21:55 so nostalgic man so nostalgic it was a different time do you remember man it was exciting to be alive and be doing the podcast and it still is to an extent but it's a different kind of exciting now it's an exciting like um finding out what your body's capable of you're gonna before it was exciting because people were just finding out about us and we were like wow people are listening to this this dumb idea i know it's interesting isn't it because we were so grateful then but now we begrudge we begrudge our listener no we're always great no not no yes true fuck you it's true no way dude blow a goat you're fucking wrong on this one monty hey tim dude straight up fuck you no one respects you hey this is so weird that you bring this up man but you're fucking wrong on this one Monty hey Tim dude straight up fuck you no one respects you hey this is so weird that you bring this up man
Starting point is 00:22:47 but you're a fucking idiot and you're completely wrong on this specific point and many others I'm very intelligent well respected you're lucky I associate with you still it's untrue anything any gravitas you have in the community has been washed off from me you've gained any respect
Starting point is 00:23:04 you hold by osmosis from the amount of respect i wield that is demonstrably false people talk about you they talk about you to your face they talk about you behind your back they say tim bat doesn't know his way around sex in the city like he doesn't know his way around graylin like he doesn't know his way around a manual transmission like he doesn't know his way around a manual transmission. Like he doesn't know his way around a goddamn microphone. The guy can't mix audio for shit. He can't speak words. He's thick.
Starting point is 00:23:30 He's dense. And he's a net negative. Yeah, there's an old saying in a Hollywood guy which you wouldn't know about because you've never fucking been there. I mean mentally been there. But the only worse thing than being talked about is not being talked about and that's you bro no one even knows who the fuck you are and no one gives a shit either so they will not research you they will never how can people how can people not know who i am and know not to
Starting point is 00:23:56 give a shit about me they have a vague notion of this douchebag who they're not aware of what his name is or what he does they've just heard that there's a guy you've got to avoid finding anything out about and no one does you're like mama duke or something i can't remember what are those fucking horror movies i don't know that's cold what's the one what's the one where you're gonna say oh it's like candy man beetlejuice beetlejuice and i think there's a more excuse me a more recent one is that like a play on rumble stilt skin is that what that whole trope is no what was his deal i can't remember man um i think it's a brother's grim story so probably someone was horribly disfigured and has to collect child souls to survive or something.
Starting point is 00:24:46 But the Disney version is like, there's a little elf-type creature, I think, and if you guess what his name is, he'll grant you a wish, and his name is Rumble Stiltskin. But maybe he gets some, like, magic powers when you fucking say his name out loud, so it's all a trick?
Starting point is 00:25:02 I don't know. I've Google-search searched rumple stiltskin and you know how people google they give you options they say people also ask yeah and these are the questions that people also ask what is the fairy tale of rumple stiltskin what did rumple stiltskin do what is the meaning of the story rumple stiltskin what did rumple stiltskin do with the babies oh it doesn't sound very good do you prepare to do a dive in a very basic sense rumble stilts can in the actual stories always ask for the girl's child in return for spinning straw into gold which her father had foolishly and publicly boasted she
Starting point is 00:25:38 could do in a philosophical sense a child particularly a first child is a significant and precious object to sacrifice. I'm going to read that last sentence again. In a philosophical sense, a child, particularly a first child, is a significant and precious object to sacrifice. Sort of goes beyond philosophy, I would have thought. Yeah, I would agree with you, my dude.
Starting point is 00:26:02 That's what a crazy thing to say and commit to a button machine. Fucking hell. So what? He's stealing and killing kids? I don't know what he's doing. Let's get off Rumble Stiltskin, man. It's putting me on a bum note.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Sorry, you continue driving. I feel like I can't predict what you want to talk about or how you're feeling so i'll just follow your lead hey well let's uh open the curtains and find out what the shining light is outside that window uh i got my one uh-huh it's a scream i observed uh a misplaced adr scream when kim cattrall throws her jacket at the gals in the wardrobe runway scene, there's a scream that is placed in the lounge, or in the bedroom, sorry, or the walk-in, but there's no mouth open to be screaming,
Starting point is 00:26:57 which suggests the presence of a fifth woman who Carrie keeps hidden somewhere in her apartment. Hmm. Terrifying. I like that. Truly. Let's go with that rather than it being an ADR mistake. It's all canon.
Starting point is 00:27:13 Everything you see in here is canon. Yeah. Well, I mean, I suppose it could be either Carrie is losing confidence in the friendship she shares with her three closest friends, you know, friendships that we see fading. Or, alternatively, if that's the case, then she's got someone in the chamber, literally locked and loaded in the chamber, ready to go. Or it is a previous friend from before, this quite long-running friendship,
Starting point is 00:27:42 who screams whenever there are other people in the apartment to try and be noticed and set free. Like Rumble Stiltskin? We don't know enough about Rumble Stiltskin to know if that's true, but yeah, sure. What do you think is more likely? Is it a future friend or a past friend? A past friend, definitely. Yeah, it couldn't be a future friend because you're going to alienate your future friend or a past friend? A past friend, definitely. Yeah, it couldn't be a future friend
Starting point is 00:28:06 because you're going to alienate your future friend pretty quickly if you keep them locked in a chamber. At least it's a time-travelling future friend. It's both a past and future friend. How could they be a time-travelling future friend, Tim? Hold on. Let me figure this out. I don't think i can figure it out
Starting point is 00:28:26 uh they are a friend from no you can't hey i don't know i don't know do you know i've been in your experience before as well where i feel like your brain is like lobbing up ideas and connections between the ideas at a rate that is faster than I can follow and potentially that you can communicate with your mouth. Yeah, I'd say that's possibly the long and short of it. What's happening over there? I can hear some ruckus.
Starting point is 00:29:00 There's a new entrant into the house. A new player has entered the iron fist tournament who is it uh it's a wonderful woman named kate ah fantastic fantastic um right uh so look my shining light thank you for asking here it is i really like samantha and i figured out the line this watch that it was which i i tried to put into my memory bank and failed to do so that i thought was the most genuinely delivered line and it is when they're in carrie's apartment eating cake and she says I don't think I have anything to be proud of. I'm just stuffing my face to stop myself doing what I find natural. And her delivery of, I don't think I'm doing anything to feel proud of,
Starting point is 00:30:01 that I think is sublimely delivered. It's truthful and it's good uh i've just had a text from next door it's from chelsea okay it's just a series of observations do you want me to read them to you i mean i'd quite like you to actually get on the microphone if I'm being honest I I agree but the trouble is that well I don't mind it you told me now she's written you told me to send this
Starting point is 00:30:36 which is true I did I'll say would you like to walk Tim through them yeah this is uh is this where the good content comes from guys it doesn't this entire episode is a fucking train wreck no fuck you this episode's
Starting point is 00:30:54 brilliant you're brilliant I'm brilliant this show rules let's uh where's our fucking TV deal chuck us on HBO you know that's how compelling we are home box office i love your ambition uh while i while chelsea makes a decision as to whether or not to come and contribute i just started reading ah yes fantastic all right i'm gonna put on the headphones for her
Starting point is 00:31:18 i'm not gonna say anything but i might occasionally pitch in from the side. Okay, very good. Will you just talk to him through your notes? Oh, hi. Don't let him steamroll you. Hi. Fucking hell. Who does he think he's dealing with? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What?
Starting point is 00:31:37 Stop steamrolling me. Fair enough. Would love to hear your points, Chelsea. Okay, this is what I've written. Look, I don't want to out anyone, but Guy did fall asleep in some of it. He's so bad. This is why I started to take notes, because I didn't want to be watching it on my own. Fucking wake him up.
Starting point is 00:32:03 It's his job. He's at work. He's very tired it sounded like you were totally okay with outing someone even though the preamble was you didn't want to the next thing you did was out someone yeah well that's true i've got no comeback for that i'm glad you did it okay yeah the carrie and biggs dynamic is very troublesome. Yeah. I feel uneasy.
Starting point is 00:32:29 I feel so uneasy when they're together. She acts like a spoilt child. Yes. And he acts like he's just going to gap it at any moment. And that is very uncomfortable. They recycled the Charlotte Harry sex scene in the New Year's montage. You noticed that? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:58 Did you notice that independent of Guy saying anything? Yeah, he was asleep. That's awesome. He's just brought it up quite a few times so i just thought i'd check because i didn't i didn't know until he said it that's fucking oh yeah but but you can tell because it's so traumatizing the first time you see it because she um stops and cradles his head and says thank you for being you come on that's sweet different people have different ways of being no no i didn't like i didn't like that okay how do they get that dog to keep pumping stuff yeah man good question
Starting point is 00:33:32 great question have you talked about that have not off the top of my head yeah i reckon you get like an eyedropper of dog pheromones, and you just squirt it on shit. It's so fucked up if you think about that. Yeah, dude. They repeatedly made that dog horny. Why is it so much worse that Big jilted Carrie than Steve cheating and breaking up the family? I'm sorry. Can you say that one more time
Starting point is 00:34:05 why is it why why is it so much worse that steve i mean that um big jilted carrie to steve cheating and breaking up his family oh couldn't be more with you it's insane it's nuts i do you know what's embarrassing for me is that i don't think guy and i sort of cracked on to this point before we had on um a brilliant guest and it's escaping me who it was first off who brought this up but i think it was like the first guest we had on the whole season and they were just like why is everyone looking after maybe it was yeah io um it was like why is uh everyone looking after carrie you know flocking to her flooding to her and poor miranda is trying to keep her yeah enabling her big time and um but poor miranda's
Starting point is 00:34:54 trying to keep her life and family life together and professional life together and they're like take on that as hey uh fuck your job we need to go to mexico please drop everything it's like yeah cool let's ignore the fact that i have a child and a job to go to while i'm suffering through the separation of my marriage it's also crazy to me that miranda uh says i have a job but she doesn't say i have a child yeah and that that that brings me to another point which is that i don't like the children in this film that they just they're just angels that don't require any attention whatsoever they're just kind of there and also why is the three and a half year old wearing a nappy that was weird when oh true she's wearing a nappy is it only a nappy and a lot of handbags that was weird when oh true she's wearing a nappy is it too old only a nappy and a lot of handbags
Starting point is 00:35:49 that was very strange choice is that uh is that definitely too old for nappies i think so i mean i have a three and a half year old she's been out of nappies for quite some time i mean flex yeah that was a big flex how um yeah okay no this is good all your points are fucking sound i still haven't fully come to your side of things on steve but you did bring up a really good scene for your point tim watch it again watch it again well i've seen it 41 times, so how about I don't? Okay. He is the worst, though, and he's followed closely by Charlotte. She's really bad, but she does do good crying acting,
Starting point is 00:36:35 which I think is why she got cast. Yeah. Well, she was in the show. Oh, do you mean for the show? Yeah, but why she got cast in the show, yeah. I feel like that's one thing she's got going for her. What's your take on that big moment when she protects, like at the wedding, and she goes, no, to big.
Starting point is 00:36:57 What's your take on that? Look, that was good acting. I thought that was good. Really? Great. Yeah, I did. It was that that whole sequence uh and and a lot of the stuff around carrie getting jilted pretty much all of the
Starting point is 00:37:10 stuff around carrie getting jilted was um very melodramatic it was too much but i did think that that was good acting from whatever her name is that plays charlotte kristen davis kristen davis i did yeah i did think that was a good moment for her no it was better than any of steve's moments you're you're building my trust in you because you're not going wholesale or anything you're like this person's bad but here's one example of them being good. I think it's, yeah, I think you're right. Look, I think it's important to stay positive. We're trying out here. We are trying. Yeah, I bet you are.
Starting point is 00:37:52 Look, I genuinely laughed twice. I can't remember when, but I did. Hey, Chelsea, what was your favorite- In a two and a half hour romantic comedy, there is not much laughter. What was your favorite part of the film? When Miranda and Steve met on the bridge i did think that that was a genuinely heartwarming and cinematic way to show two people getting back together and you know it's all about the metaphor of compromise, isn't it? Yes. But then they kissed.
Starting point is 00:38:28 And in that kiss, I realized, I reckon Cynthia Nixon is the best actor in it. And I reckon Steve is the worst, as we've talked about. And I reckon Cynthia Nixon knows this, just judging on that kiss. Why? And then I created this whole narrative around how he drives her mental. And she,
Starting point is 00:38:50 like, she just goes home at the end of every day is frustrated. I do. She fakes tongue. Well, of course. I mean, she's gay.
Starting point is 00:38:59 You know, this isn't something that she can sort of draw on her own. I didn't know that. Oh man. I think that know that. Oh, man. I think that's right. I'm pretty sure. It does sort of make sense. But it's one of the weirdest screen kisses I've seen that moment,
Starting point is 00:39:14 which is a shame. Doesn't it add to her acting skills? That didn't even enter your imagining? Well, no. I think if... No. Because I think if she was using her best acting skills it wouldn't have been such a bad screen kiss such a weird like i don't know yeah i don't know how to describe what she does but i suggest you take a little look at that moment and see i'd love to
Starting point is 00:39:40 hear what you think about that tim man once again chelsea i cannot stress the fact that i have seen this movie and i find it baffling that you seem to forget this fact because i have done everything in my power to really broadcast the fact that i have watched it i honestly think that i i i haven't grasped until today what it is that you guys are doing that's interesting yeah it was was it just something you didn't ever kind of spend the brain time analyzing it was just it was something i intentionally put to the side it's it's good it's safe the amount yes yes, it keeps me safe. Yeah. And also the word, this is my final thought, is, oh, okay, this is, why does Big have no friends? That's kind of weird. And then also, Carrie is a baby, and the scene where Samantha feeds her yogurt is one of the worst scenes I've ever seen in my life.
Starting point is 00:40:44 It made me so physically uncomfortable. It me recoil i will take issue with that because i really liked that scene this watch for some reason i was in a really empathetic mood for that here's why and i can totally understand why it disgusts you because you're carrying the baggage of how awful carrie is as a character but if you can sort of just like, I don't know, take that as read, take that for granted and therefore sort of push it aside for a second, just forget about that fact. The maternal, what's the word I'm looking for?
Starting point is 00:41:17 It's like a real nourishing in both a literal and figurative sense. A nourishing act that samantha does for her friend who's in turmoil there's something nice about that her friend has arms she's choosing not to use her own arms she's devastated she's emotionally destroyed she told miranda who had just been cheated on to shut the shutters all of them yeah look not great behavior but isn't that what friends are for that when you're in your darkest spot and you're lashing out and things aren't going well and you're not at your best that's what they they go I recognize
Starting point is 00:41:58 you have flaws but I love you anyway and I'm still gonna feed you yogurt on a little spoon yeah man maybe that's what mattress pike like king was trying to communicate he was like everyone is awful but friendship is forever oh maybe maybe that's actually that could be could be a point do you want this yeah you say something uh can you please explain what you think the term, when Kerry says, when Big Colours, he really stays inside the lines. We talked about this, yeah. We did.
Starting point is 00:42:33 What do you think that means? When Big Colours, he really stays inside the lines. Is that what you said? Yeah. Well, I definitely don't think it means what you what you think it means which is that he comes everywhere yeah that's crazy that's crazy you think that as well do you think that how else could you read it but we're about to find out no she just means that he's he's he's a wild lover he's he's crazy he's got he's outside the box he's doing he's fr He's crazy. He's outside the box.
Starting point is 00:43:05 He's doing, he's frisky. That means he's bad. It does not mean that he comes everywhere. He jizzes on the curtains. It's a scotch guard the bed. It's crazy. No, no, no. It's not what it means.
Starting point is 00:43:20 That's a crazy reading. They literally, this is my logic behind that they literally use the word coloring as a key word for sex a code word for sex they use the word come in the same scene for the for come yeah so if they were saying that's that's just carrie bradshaw being a coy writer and think she's doing clever wordplay. She doesn't want to be in the packed cafe going, you guys lean in for a second. John ejaculates everywhere. There is cum throughout the room.
Starting point is 00:43:56 It is strewn. It's not here. It's so off-putting because he's so gross. I couldn't hear what Tim oh tim yeah okay i'm sorry that's unrewarding for you he had a good point okay i'm good i'm getting out of here before you go though yeah there's one more question yeah which is in the same way you challenge us to say what the movie is about yeah and i stand by what i yeah can you please tell us because you said that you didn't realize what we were doing until you experienced it today yeah can you please tell us what you think we're doing
Starting point is 00:44:29 well I guess what your intention is just like what do you what do you think the experience is what do you think we're doing I've been backed into a corner um what I think you're doing what the experience and what's it doing to us? Yeah, what it's doing to you. I guess that's a more accurate way of putting it. I didn't realize how much of a draining undertaking this is. Just imagining waking up and knowing that, if I put myself in your shoes shoes waking up knowing i have to watch sex in the city again a two and a half hour movie that you know like all of its other flaws aside
Starting point is 00:45:14 you know exactly what's going to happen from the first maybe 10 minutes i would say from the first minute for the first minute yeah well it's the same movie. Well, fuck, I don't know. But you know the way it's all going to play out. You know Samantha needs to spread her wings and fly. You know that Big is going to leave Carrie. I said that, didn't I, while we were watching it. You know, what are you doing? You know that Big is going to leave Carrie at the altar and it's not going to
Starting point is 00:45:47 go well you don't really give a shit about the other two but you still have to sit through two and a half hours of it and that must feel scary some days it it was bleak just getting through it once. So I guess that is what I mean. I'm going to need to put a bow on this episode because I feel rocked to my core. I need to go. I need to leave. I can't handle this. Okay, wait.
Starting point is 00:46:19 You have to talk to Guy. Nope, don't want to. Do you think there's value in what... Tim wants to leave. I'm off. This is fucked. Do you think there's value in what... Tim wants to leave. I'm off. This is fucked. Do you think there's value in what we're doing, Chelsea? No.
Starting point is 00:46:32 That's a no, Tim. She doesn't get it, though. She doesn't. That's why you've got to get her out of your life, man. Your mum and Chelsea need to go. They are not part of the circle anymore. Okay? Listen to me, man. you and me and all the friends
Starting point is 00:46:48 we're off we're off on our own it's a grand adventure uh well i'm going to take some time to myself to think about what you're saying tim but are you cool cool cool finish this yeah absolutely fuck thank the Lord. Well, yep. That'll do, pig. That'll do. Come and see our shows. Have you got any left?
Starting point is 00:47:14 Yeah, I got two shows this weekend in Auckland at Q Theatre. Rangatera, there are tickets available for both. It's on Friday the 17th instead of the 18th of May. The show's called I Was Part of the Problem before we were talking about it. Being very well-reviewed by everyone I've talked to who's seen it. I, unfortunately, have not seen it yet.
Starting point is 00:47:32 It's Tim here, guys. I also have a show that is opening this week in Auckland. It's called Space Couch, a live comedy chat show, and I'm co-hosting it with a beautiful musician called Disaster Radio, who I've been a fan of for like 10 years. So it's very special. And Paul F. Tompkins has been kind enough to lend his vocal talents
Starting point is 00:47:53 to bring the main star of the show, the Space Couch, to life. So I'm thrilled. I'm excited. It's going to be a great show. Please come along if you're in Auckland or Wellington. Go to spacecouch.nz for the tickies
Starting point is 00:48:06 otherwise stop listening and we'll stop recording thank you so much everyone we'll see you later we just have a good rhythm together you know he sort of feels me out
Starting point is 00:48:19 I feel him out and we go for it

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