The Worst Idea Of All Time - 44: Freight Train

Episode Date: May 25, 2019

The boiz are coming in hot everyone! Look out for those right-angle erections, unsupportive and yawning podcast co-hosts and a pitch to make this movie 50 minutes long. There's unfortunately not enoug...h shirts to go around and sadly, we've been removed from the social area because someone's having relationship problems. outrageous. Plus, smoking: Why would ya? Come see us live: LittleEmpirePodcasts.com/live Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 today you ready okay let's go the hunt for the wildest movie of the summer everybody ends here this is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately borderlands now playing we just have a good rhythm together you know like he sort of feels me out, I feel him out, and we go for it. Hello, welcome to the worst idea of all time. This freight train stops for no one, not even my co-host Guy Montgomery. You are wrong, I am starting this week's episode. It's the Timbatt Express.
Starting point is 00:00:43 No, hello and fuck you if your name is Tim Bat. I'm Guy Montgomery, the chairman of the worst idea of all time. And I've just watched Sex and the City by myself. Chairman of the board. B-O-R-E-D. That's a Norm Macdonald bit. And you know it.
Starting point is 00:01:03 It's no lie. Hey, Tim, I'm going to ask you a question I don't care about the answer to. How are you? Okay. Wow. There's no way to answer that the way you phrased it. I'm going to ask you a question I genuinely want the answer to. How is your partner who's been very ill recently?
Starting point is 00:01:19 Is she feeling any better? Yeah, she's feeling a little bit better. Well enough that she came through the lounge where i was watching sex in the city just in time to watch the movie end and i sort of lured her and i did duvet on the couch and i lured her down to the couch and then as the credits rolled i took the remote i put on sex in the city 2 and i've now left the room with the remotes and she's still kind of too frail to do anything about it. So she's just against her will watching Sex and the City 2 in the lounge right now.
Starting point is 00:01:53 That's not right. I don't understand why you would do that to someone you love. Yeah. But then again, if you haven't seen it 50-something times. Big and Carrie are currently at the big gay wedding meeting a couple who can't believe they're not having children does that bring memories flooding back it's early here she comes she's got a real furious look on her face she's trying to find the remote
Starting point is 00:02:16 how are you darling there was a bit of playful anger there But also a bit of genuine anger So It's a wonderful morning to be Guy Where are you? Paint a picture So Me?
Starting point is 00:02:38 Tim Bat? Yeah you At my parents place Hey nice In the nation's capital I'm shirtless And unshowered And unfettered
Starting point is 00:02:49 What's on your bottom half? Jeans Some light jeans They've got a rip in them What the hell? I got these jeans Why are you What?
Starting point is 00:02:59 Why are you shirtless And wearing jeans? It's 9.30 in the morning So everyone knows by the way It's 9.30 in the morning, so everyone knows, by the way. It's kind of warm in the room and I've got headphones on, so it's sort of hard to put a T-shirt on over there. You could have put a T-shirt on
Starting point is 00:03:17 before you put on the headphones. Why would you? Why would you do it? Sometimes you just got to smash out Sex and the City. Did you watch all of Sex and the City in jeans and no top? No, I have to confess I did watch half of it last night. I did my festival show and then did a line-up show after that and then got home at about midnight and cranked out half of it.
Starting point is 00:03:47 And then had to get up very early this morning and watch the rest of it. Oh my God. You make me sick. Got me lit like a candlestick. Can't get enough of it. You got me going again, baby. You got me going again. You make me sick. Did you got me going again you make me sick
Starting point is 00:04:05 did you do it all in one bite yourself i did i got up at 7 a.m i watched the netflix edit which is to say two hours and 20 minutes missing the halloween scene the halloween dream i call it and the extended fashion parade in carrie's walk-in. Tim, I was born in Manhattan in the year 1962 on March 21st. I'm the son of Patricia and James. Who am I? 1962. You are Samantha Jones In 1987
Starting point is 00:04:49 I was driving a rented BMW In Enniskillen, Northern Ireland Fuck Cynthia Nixon? She's got red hair That's Irish No I'm not I'm not Cynthia Nixon
Starting point is 00:05:11 In 1994 I was the voice Of Adult Simba In popular Disney film The Lion King Adult Simba I only remember Jonathan Taylor Thomas Was Young Simba Adult Simba. I only remember Jonathan Taylor Thomas was young Simba. Adult Simba
Starting point is 00:05:28 was... Crap, I can't remember. I don't know. I don't know. You can do this. Come on. Are we done here? No, we're not done until you get it right. You want more clues? In 1997, I married actress Sarah Jessica Parker in Manhattan's Lower East Side. I see. We're back on the Broderick buzz. Oh, wait. Is that what you were saying about the car thing?
Starting point is 00:06:05 That's fucking awful. We don't talk about that guy you were saying about the car thing? That's fucking awful. We don't talk about that, guy. And we have talked about us not talking about it before. I was just giving you the clues I had in front of me. I don't write the quizzes. Mate, you do, though. This is the thing. You do write the quizzes in this particular case.
Starting point is 00:06:22 I don't write the quizzes. I just read what's in front of me. Alright, mate. I got one for you. Go ahead. I was born in Christchurch in 1987. Who am I? Tim Batt.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Yeah. Fuck all y'all. I actually wish I did have one to hand, but I don't have any devices on me. Tim, how come we never talk about the way that Samantha grabs Smith Jarrod's dick? At what point? When did she grab his dick? He presents her with a very carefully...
Starting point is 00:06:58 It's a jewelry box. Yeah. She doesn't know that. It ain't his dick. Oh. No, I think she does. No. This is why we haven't talked about it. She doesn't know that. Oh. No, I think she does. No. This is why we haven't talked about it.
Starting point is 00:07:08 She doesn't know. I'm going to pull up the tape. You don't need to pull up the tape. Just take my word for it. Here it arrives. This is a happy anniversary. He's got what appears to be an erection at a right angle from his body. And she's excited. So so far i like what i see
Starting point is 00:07:27 she takes her right hand reaches across her body and into that sort of you know when you're wearing uh jockeys and there's that like yeah what's that for when you take a piss Tim if you're wearing jockeys like those do you lift do you do you put your penis out of the weird like slit that is in the side of the jockeys where Samantha's hand reaches do you
Starting point is 00:07:57 but not often it just occurred to me I never use that I go over the top of the underpant but is that what that's that sort of slit or flap is for i presume so it might be airflow i don't know i don't make underwear for a living but i reckon it's probably the piss thing right i don't know it's got to be the piss thing i reckon it's the piss thing but it is weird I wonder how many men do use it for that It's an interesting question
Starting point is 00:08:28 I mean to me right now That's not to say this will hold up Outside of the confines of the podcast But it's got my brain burning Okay You've never once used it like that No I haven't even thought about it I don't know why you would, to be honest.
Starting point is 00:08:45 I haven't even thought about it. I haven't even thought about the fact that there's this whole extra bit in our underpants that goes unused. Maybe. Maybe it's to get handjobs in emergency anniversary situations. Hey. As displayed by Samantha Jones and Smith Garrett. Now you're thinking like a Sex and the City fan. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:05 Well, I mean, so now that we've solved that mystery, what do you think of the way she reaches, assuming she is reaching for his penis, what do you think of that? I want to engage with you in this fantasy land you've created, Guy, but in my heart of hearts, I believe Samantha Jones knows pretty early on that there's a gift in there for her
Starting point is 00:09:24 that is non-biological it's pretty her whole her whole thing is assuming everything she didn't know her dick that's true you know
Starting point is 00:09:35 she's seen it she's been around it it's been around her for the last five years I think yeah you get to know a dick
Starting point is 00:09:44 probably four years at that moment because later in the movie she says I've given it five years I think yeah you get to know a dick probably four years at that moment because later in the movie she says I've given it five years how would I be able to recognise you even if you're
Starting point is 00:09:51 in big underwear how would you recognise me what's my identifying trait there's that big dick I'm used to height your body shape
Starting point is 00:10:04 and the gait of your walk. Those three things combined, I reckon I could pick you in the lineup if you were fully shrouded. Do you think I've got a distinct gait? Everyone does. By not having a distinct gait, that in itself is distinctive, you know?
Starting point is 00:10:23 That might be true. Do you know how I'd identify you, Tim? How's that? I wouldn't be able to pick you out of a lineup of 100, you boring little fuck. Oh, look at that. I got sassed. You got licked.
Starting point is 00:10:35 You got licked, brother. I got owned by a fellow frosty fella. Fuck, man. What even was your watch This time though Emotionally I don't care about the Physical realm Get some sleep Groomy
Starting point is 00:10:49 You took to Twitter Today Briefly I was looking for respite man Big Jewel Carry again But don't worry They get together at the end
Starting point is 00:11:04 Chelsea came in right as they were in the walk-in wardrobe at the fancy apartment when she was picking up the shoes before leaving and uh big proposes and she said do you know if carrie said no this would be a perfect movie and while i disagree with half of that statement I also agree that it would be an improved movie. Yeah. How do we make this movie better? It wouldn't all be for nothing then, is my feeling, as it currently is. If you could recut it, recut the footage that we have existing already,
Starting point is 00:11:42 do you think you could cut a pretty good 90-minute film out of it do you know what i would i would not do that i would cut a film designed only for you and i where i would oh consecutively cut all of i'd i'd like so instead of having those stories overlapping as they do i'd do it where we deal with Samantha's storyline in one go, Miranda's storyline in one go, Charlotte's storyline in one go, and we'd cut out Carrie's storyline completely. We'd only see Carrie as a featured player in the prominent storylines of other characters. And I reckon in doing that, we've probably shaved...
Starting point is 00:12:21 I'd say we'd be watching a 50-minute film. Yeah. mean stronger too and it would be interesting because what you'd see is you'd see these other women talking about their lives and problems and then you'd sort of see carrie just you know drifting in to talk about her own problems over her friends and not listening to them and instead of following those threads of story and finding out the bigger context of those problems, you'd just be sitting there thinking, wow, they've got to cut this Carrie character or at least friend from their lives because she's a bad friend.
Starting point is 00:12:52 That would really shine a light on how shit of a friend Carrie is. Can I share some feelings with you right now? Is it about what I just said or is it unrelated? Because I'd really like to talk about what I've just said. No, it is related to what you right now. Is it about what I just said or is it unrelated? Because I'd really like to talk about what I've just said. No, it is... It is... It is related to what you just said. I'm just...
Starting point is 00:13:10 I just have to tell you I feel so agitated talking about this film today. Because it's like I went to all the trouble of watching it again and now it feels wrong that we have to discuss it.
Starting point is 00:13:24 No, but we have to. I feel very angry about that fact. It's imperative. It's imperative. We're dealing with a 50-minute film dealing with just the gals, individual threads. Samantha wouldn't get a lot of screen time. I guess none of them kind of do.
Starting point is 00:13:42 That's the beauty of it. Anything she'd miss out, though? Screen time, I don't... Like, I guess none of them kind of do this. That's the beauty of it. Hmm. Anything you should miss out, though? It's imperative. It's comparative. It's the narrative. It's my friend Tim. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:13:57 We're really... No! We're not going anywhere. You're going to tell me about it. Do you think the movie's better or worse for it? Do you think that this would highlight how much of a shit person Carrie Bradshaw is? Hey, there's no escaping the fact
Starting point is 00:14:10 that reducing the duration of this film is good. It is a universal good. And you're right. Reducing the amount of Carrie Bradshaw would be phenomenal. She's the most detestable character in the whole tally play. Worse than Mr. Big?
Starting point is 00:14:26 Let's write her out. Imagine if... Imagine if... You know how they floated the idea in Sex and the City 3 of Big dying? How fucking bold would it be to kill Carrie
Starting point is 00:14:40 and do a whole movie about that? Like she dies at the start. It would be a sensation you'd go to that hey that'd be a real cultural moment everyone would just be so confused okay actually this is a question i'm interested in they do what say you know bury the rumors sex in the city 3 does get made it gets a cinema release do you go to watch Sex and the City 3 at the cinema of course
Starting point is 00:15:09 wouldn't you absolutely I would yeah we'd go together I'd be there in a heartbeat yeah we'd have to you'd owe it to yourself wouldn't you to see what happens next yeah um yourself, wouldn't you, to see what happens a phone for long. So I've got to make this one count.
Starting point is 00:15:46 What's up, man? Dude, that sounds like such hot garbled mess through your fucking Bluetooth thing. Good God. The only reason why I know it's Ferris Bueller is because I recognize the music. It's a great 1985 interview with a young Matthewthew broderick on cbs about ferris bueller fucking happened to that guy it must be it must suck to peak that early maybe we have though to be fair we haven't peaked and we did not reach some people don't reach the heights of a big film some people don't't peek. Yeah, true. Some people just... Do you reckon you've peeked?
Starting point is 00:16:26 Absolutely. Oh, no. Not. Gotcha. Puncture. Guy, I need to talk to you about something. It's important. Try me. It's my shining light. Well, no, it's not my shining light.
Starting point is 00:16:41 It's just an interesting point. I'll pick something else for the shining light. When the gals are consoling carrie in mexico at the restaurant and it's just before when carrie says when will i will i ever laugh again and miranda says yes and she says when when something is really funny behind miranda there is a dude in a blue shirt and it's like the extra changes the actual the actor portraying this this background character but the shirt remains the same same blue shirt two different guys wearing it they hot swap an actor out i'm interested in this only because not this week but like or not weak but not the screening but the last screening i saw i was looking out in the background for green shirt
Starting point is 00:17:32 because we see a guy in a green and you know i don't know that you and i see iowa and color all the time because we're probably talking about the same guy but when they arrive in the room separate to the restaurant there's like a small dance floor going on and there's a guy in a green shirt dancing with his partner then when they sit down when they cross when they cross shoot the in the room separate to the restaurant. There's like a small dance floor going on and there's a guy in a green shirt dancing with his partner. Then when they sit down, when they cross shoot the table, so you see singles on all the gals
Starting point is 00:17:52 talking at the table, in the background of various different frames, we see various different gentlemen wearing various different versions of a very similar green shirt. Like three guys are wearing green shirts at this restaurant that night and um oh my god this is the new dress thing isn't it one of the two colors of that dress brown and yellow one of them one of them is the guy in the couple who is uh later
Starting point is 00:18:19 abused by miranda because she says i think we're on their honeymoon and she goes yeah it's all so hot three days in. By the way, that line's always irritated me because I think Miranda needs to just, you know, I understand that she's upset, but it bothers me that she would antagonize people who are just, you know, they don't know what's going on in the table next to them. They're just trying to enjoy their honeymoon. Yes, it is a pretty grotesque display of PDA, but they just trying to get you know they're in love let them have their moment in the
Starting point is 00:18:47 sun please you don't have to bring down everyone else's vibe but if i sat through that meal knowing that my experience of being cheated on and not necessarily abandoned, but having my marriage dissolve, you know, with a child involved in the situation, had been, it seems to me, the only day that that experience had any currency as a group conversation amongst the friends was the day after it happened. And as soon as they talked about it once at a meal, everyone was like, wow, way to go, team. We really helped solve that problem for Miranda. Now we can all get back to our own lives and problems.
Starting point is 00:19:26 So she's sitting through a meal where everyone is just jostling to be heard with their own problems that are so minor in comparison to hers. This is because I was like, fair enough, Miranda. Fucking, if you can't blow up at your friends because they all suck and they're not going to respond, tee off at anyone. I get it. You're angry and you have every right to be oh i say i say today you ready okay let's go the hunt for the wildest movie of the summer everybody
Starting point is 00:19:59 ends here this is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands, now playing. But again, there are innocent bystanders who are copping it from that. I agree. Not the best outlet for her anger, but also, I can see this week,
Starting point is 00:20:22 I saw where it was coming from. And all of that to say, I think there is a little more mystery to this green-blue shirt, multiple extra, multiple costuming snafu than either of us have found out so far. So next screening, we should both keep an eye to that. And that next screening actually is going to be this Sunday ahead of our live show at Whammy bar at 3 p.m in auckland city tickets still available yeah um can i tell you something i'm actually i pulled up the scene i've
Starting point is 00:20:53 been watching while i've been listening to you and uh i can see where i've gone wrong here but man in terms of like shooting it was very it's very dumb what they've decided to do they it's at um an hour and six minutes and a half by our director's cut usual director's cut edition and over the shoulder of okay over the shoulder of carrie when they're in a slightly wide shot there's a guy in a turquoise shirt over her um right shoulder and then they punch in to carry and over that same shoulder is a different guy in the same shirt i'm fucking onto something here man they're different people are you sure that he's at the same table are you sure we're dealing with the same extra and the angle hasn't slightly changed it's it's actually quite hard to, but it's the exact same shirt.
Starting point is 00:21:47 It fucking looks like two different guys to me. It must be the same guy, but the way they've shot this... There's every chance it is two different guys. It's... And the same shirt? What kind of nonsense was going on in the costume department?
Starting point is 00:22:00 I reckon that they didn't bring enough shirts. And so they said, we're just going to have to... gonna notice we're just gonna have to put three of our male extras in the same shirt and we'll just shoot around it it's funny because that doesn't make sense either because then presumably there's some shirtless dude who would see every now and then no otherwise why wouldn't you just remove them from the shot? Yes, on the cutting room floor, there is footage of two guys. Like, if you watch the entire scene in the wide shot, you will see one green shirt being rotated amongst three guys. So two different roving shirtless guys in frame
Starting point is 00:22:39 and one green shirt doing the rounds. But they very cleverly edited it, so it's just slightly confusing. Yeah, very good editing. I'm only mildly baffled by what's happened here. You just got a text. Hey, I wrote down my shining light. Congrats. I didn't think I did, but I did.
Starting point is 00:23:02 Can I share it with you? You seem so disinterested. Go for it. It's Miranda who makes three expressions inside of a two-second period when Big isn't at the wedding venue and it gets revealed. The way she contorts her fact book, it's such good acting. She goes from, oh, my God god this is really bad this is like horrifying or she can't she it's okay here's the here's the scope of the reaction it's
Starting point is 00:23:33 huh that's weird oh my god i think he's not coming and then catching herself with that horrified realization on her face she then has to correct it for carrie so then she she goes back to like a feigned normalcy and it happens all within two seconds it's fucking brilliant man it's really strong face acting that's what acting is acting is reacting there are no small parts only only guys dingus that's not funny But only... Only guys dingus. That's not funny. That's not funny.
Starting point is 00:24:11 Okay. All right. Well, what's your shining light then? Apologize. I apologize for my earlier comment. It was in bad taste and it is untrue. What comment? Be specific.
Starting point is 00:24:27 That there are no small parts, only guys' dingus. Thank you. Do you know another moment that was really good acting, Tim? Gone. Was after... Maybe after, actually, arguably the worst piece of acting which is when charlotte decks her pants uh it's when the other three women laugh hysterically at the
Starting point is 00:24:58 you know this tragedy that's befallen their friend. And it's the audio. It's the... This is going to sound controversial, but for me, what makes this such a good bit of acting is a combination of the audio and the visual. Can I say that? Oh, my God. Where are we at?
Starting point is 00:25:21 I'm telling you. With her? All of them. Samantha, Miranda, and Carrie are all laughing hysterically, loudly. And for up to 10 seconds, the laughs don't feel forced. It feels genuine. They all do a really good job of selling the fact that this is as funny as they are reacting to it being.
Starting point is 00:25:41 And it's no mean feat. It helps sell what is otherwise a very dodgy bit of acting when they do that slow zoom on charlotte's face god knows what the director was telling her when she was pretending to shit herself but um it was really pikelet had just done a mountain of cocaine and said i want to make one of those 80s comedies but only very briefly i.e. a single shot we're going to have Charlotte shit her pants we're going to put this camera on a dolly and we're going to do one of those slow zooms
Starting point is 00:26:12 that they do for the reaction shot to sell like a I don't even know who would the do it's like a Chris Farley bit or something you know yeah something you'd expect in Tommy Boy and they did it they did it They did it They fucking went to town on it
Starting point is 00:26:28 There's no place in this movie I'm just so angry About talking about sex in the city Is where I'm at today It feels unfair And I'm fucking furious about it I uh Yeah look that's totally fair enough Um one thing we also haven't really spoken about and
Starting point is 00:26:48 i know you don't want to talk about it because it's in the movie but we're going to have a crack uh and i'm sort of really flip-flopping on my feelings towards miranda in this film today but i we haven't really addressed how little respect miranda has for illegal cuban cigars yeah sometimes when you share a stray observation with your co-host on the podcast you want to hear a laugh of recognition or a moment where they go hey yeah that is an interesting thing to bring up or yeah i'd really looked at it from that angle before one of the last things i think you want to hear is the second half of an exhausted yawn i am not being a good partner to you and i am i'm sorry for letting you down is miranda even out there not when harry not when harry and everyone agrees that you can't beat an illegal cuban cigar after dinner no yeah she's
Starting point is 00:27:41 not out there then but that's not to say she couldn't at least share some of their respect and joy for an illegal Cuban cigar. Because she goes out, these are freshly lit. These are so freshly lit that Harry is still reveling in the joy that he and others experience from having an illegal Cuban cigar after dinner. I don't know how much these cigars cost, but they're not cheap. They're illegally imported. They're black market fodder.
Starting point is 00:28:03 She walks out about 10 seconds into a party of four four friends enjoying an illegal cuban cigar at the best possible time aka after dinner and she shoes them inside i know she's got some personal stuff to talk about with steve but she does not have control over the entranceway to a public space. How about you walk 10 to 15 meters down the fucking road and have your private conversation away from the bright lights and the crowds of people who have every right to stand where they're standing enjoying an illegal Cuban cigar. That seems to me like a reasonable course of action.
Starting point is 00:28:38 But to just assume ownership of this area. I am so with you on this. And wave everyone inside as though they all i know people have got things that they need to deal with in their lives but it is no one else's responsibility to know or care about the intricacies of what is happening with you in that moment they're just trying to have a night out they've been at the rehearsal dinner other people don't even know who miranda is she's standing there like she's been hired by the venue to clear the space so that she can have her own private conversations it's bullshit i truly believe that if i was in her shoes i would
Starting point is 00:29:15 take it elsewhere i i i really think that even in the depths of the horrible situation that they're in i still think that i would have the presence of mind of others around me at a party to be like you know what we don't need to fucking blow up this stogie spot let's take this a couple of blocks south you just you just don't blow up the stogie spot and i hate cigars but you just don't blow up the stogie spot it's a special thing stogies aren't out all the time it's special occasions big boy shit you know god damn it well do you not like them though guy no i hate them i hate the smell of them i hate the taste of them i quite like a cigar i've never ever been a cigarette smoker um never really understood it to be honest i let's get into that i've never really got to be honest like how you become a cigarette smoker
Starting point is 00:30:14 because i haven't become one myself uh well it's highly addictive and it looks cool and it's a an easy way to fit in it's a great way to meet people i've never been a cigarette smoker either it's that but it's it's there is a moment and at the start of every smoker's smoking career where they weren't a smoker before and they were like hey this fucking cancerous stick of death looks like a bit of me and often they have to like power through the first one and it's like i just just what what are you up to why are you doing that that's true of um beer as well though no one enjoys no one enjoys their first beer. True. You know it's bad for you. You have to choose to ignore that information to power through to the idea of it one day being enjoyable.
Starting point is 00:31:13 It might happen when it's too late, and all of a sudden beer is so enjoyable that you can't enjoy life without beer. The same way with cigarettes. But, you know, the first time you're going into that, you're not doing it for the immediate response you're going to get out of it. You're doing it because of either you think it looks cool
Starting point is 00:31:27 or you like the idea of it or you like the idea of one day enjoying it. But I just can't escape the feeling that there's enough information out there now and has been for the last 20 years to be like, hey, or nah. Because with beer, you can enjoy a beer but cigarettes it seems like i actually i do say i say this often cigarettes do not get their due in terms of how much people enjoy them people always talk about the harm and they always forget
Starting point is 00:31:57 that people smoke them because it's fun like people enjoy a cig and i get that but it's the kickoff point and i just just find it difficult to reconcile about not everyone, but a lot of people. You know it's crazy addictive, super expensive, real bad for your health, and you're just like, yeah, nah, this seems good. This seems like a cool and fabulous thing to be doing. I don't know, man. I'm with you.
Starting point is 00:32:22 I never got it personally. I agree. I think it's weird. It's a hard and weird thing to get into, but I also think that they do not get their due credit. If they weren't enjoyable, people wouldn't be smoking them. It's true. There's no getting away from that fact.
Starting point is 00:32:38 None. No potential way. I crave a cigarette the same way I crave a can of Coke. Do you still crave a can of coke do you still crave a can of coke i have never drank a can of coke in my life but the branding and the marketing materials around it is so strong that i'll see someone drinking it i'll be like oh man i would kill for one of those i keep forgetting that about you that is a really interesting quirk of your personhood, that you've never had a Coca-Cola. I've drank sips of Coca-Cola, other people's Coca-Cola.
Starting point is 00:33:11 I've never had a whole Coca-Cola. I've never bought myself a drink of Coca-Cola. And it's not for any particular reason, right? Growing up, I didn't like the fizz. It's the same reason, to be honestizz it's the same reason to be honest it's the same reason I don't smoke cigarettes I never
Starting point is 00:33:30 I never got into it when I was younger and it was cool and then now I'm an adult and I've avoided that vice I'm like well why would I start now I've got enough on
Starting point is 00:33:39 as it is coke's got some good shit in it though it's got a lot of sugar and it's got a lot of sugar. And it's got a lot of caffeine. And it's cold. So if you need a coffee.
Starting point is 00:33:49 But it's a hot day. Coke's there for you. Nah. It's got too much sugar in it. Yeah. It's true. I like a lovely. It's true. La Croix.
Starting point is 00:33:59 La Croix. What do you. What can you see yourself doing with the rest of today? To take yourself back and really restore goodness in your life after this devastating kickoff? Well, I'm pretty confident that I have still slightly ill and now annoyed partner.
Starting point is 00:34:19 So I look forward to hanging out. And then I'll go for a run I'll do some work I'm going to watch a bunch of comedy shows tonight I mean I will live well do you know what's actually awful I was going to say
Starting point is 00:34:37 I'll live secure in the knowledge I've got you know three days off from Sex and the City but I don't today's Friday I'll get tomorrow off. I'll get the rest of today off. And then come Sunday,
Starting point is 00:34:48 bang, Monty and Tim back at the wheel. In front of a live studio audience after we've watched it. We won't watch it in front of you. That's fucked up. That's not a live event.
Starting point is 00:35:01 That's just bad art, I think. Yeah. Not like this podcast. That's just bad art, I think. Yeah. Not like this podcast. It's an exhibition. Yeah. All right, my man.
Starting point is 00:35:12 What are you going to do? Because we're ending this conversation. It really does feel like it. Look, all I've got on my mind is having a shower and leaving this house and probably pursuing coffee being poured down my throat. All right. Much love and respect, brother.
Starting point is 00:35:28 See you later. Hey, listen, everyone. If you're in Auckland, you've got to come. You've got to come to this live show, truly, or else it is for nothing. It's happening on Sunday. It's probably already been. You're probably listening to this late. But, look, if you could come, if you could bring a friend, that'd be so good. It's just already been. You're probably listening to this late. But look, if you could come, if you could bring a friend, that'd be so good.
Starting point is 00:35:46 It's just 15 bucks. If you go to littleempirepodcast.com slash live, the link is there. And if you're listening from one of the following cities, Los Angeles, New York City, Chicago, or Portland, Oregon, you also have live shows coming up in the month of June. So please go to littleempirepodcast.com slash live. Check it out. See if it's for you i love you i hate this movie i hate talking about it but i'll keep doing it for a little bit longer guy i'm sorry i wasn't a podcast partner to you i ended this episode about half an hour ago. We just have a good rhythm together. He sort of feels me out, I feel him out.
Starting point is 00:36:31 And we go for it. Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer everybody ends here this is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately borderlands now playing

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