The Worst Idea Of All Time - 45: Four Large Decaffeinated Iced Cappuccinos
Episode Date: January 12, 2024The end of a season. The end of an era. The first and only watch of The Fast and The Furious somehow marks the end of a year of watching the Fast and Furious franchise for Tim and Guy. In an episode r...ecorded in front of a packed-out audience at the beautiful Hollywood cinema in the Avondale neighborhood of Auckland, the pair celebrate the origins of brand Toretto and the strangely absent origins of Leo and Santos. We discover that Mia is actually really good in this one and that if there’s one thing cops enjoy more than hanging out in Elizabeth Taylor’s house, it’s drinking large decaffeinated iced cappuccinos. In a send-off befitting of The Worst Idea, the audio quality is questionable, the takes are borderline and the content is not for everyone. But nonetheless, as we close out this chapter of TWIOAT and look forward to the next quarter mile of the podcast, we must kiss Vin Diesel on his big, shiny head, goodbye.Get event and livestream tickets for the TWIOAT 10th Anniversary Special at worstideaofalltime.com! On Feb 10th, exactly a decade after Tim and Guy's first viewing of Grown-Ups 2, the boyz return to Adam Sandler's 2013 opus for a night of reflection, revelry and regret at the Q Theatre in Auckland. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Hello everybody and welcome to the final episode of this season of The Worst Idea of All Time.
My name is Tim Baird.
He's not wrong. Holy moly it's so good.
Everything feels so good to me. Everything in my life now feels aligned
in a way that it hasn't for you know it could be a year or it could be a decade but in a in a
way I feel I feel free and it feels kind of feels kind of you know that's a good
feeling isn't it yeah man yeah it's like I feel like Dom Toretto does for the 10
seconds he's driving between the start line and the finish line.
Someone asked me earlier today how I feel about this being the end of the season.
It's sort of the end of this format as it stands at the moment.
And I said it feels like I've just got out of prison.
There's a levity and sort of, it's like an uncomfortability with the world afterwards
and not quite sure what to do with oneself but also overall elation correct we've got to say this
that movie fucking rocked how good was the fast and the furious hollywood avondale
that movie was a fucking riot. I had such a ball.
God damn, they nailed that film.
Yeah, yeah.
You can really see, like, you know,
it's a shame they didn't do any sequels
because you get the sense there's a lot of fun characters.
There's a lot of opportunity there.
No, you know, we do suffer from recency bias annually.
A lot of biases, I think.
Or in this instance, I feel like every time we've got to unscrew a brand new Fast and
the Furious film, we go, now this is a Fast and the Furious film.
But this does, you know, and then do you know what else we do?
We say this feels different.
Yeah.
But this does feel different.
Because that rocked.
For a movie set in the car racing world of Los Angeles in 2001 to only have one homophobic slur, honestly, huge shout out.
That is a progressive film. That is remarkable.
Yeah.
And also, arguably, you know, and I might get in hot water for this, from the gayest character in the whole I think without question without question that is
just classic early 2000s
high school bully projection about
a man insecure with his own sexuality
dripping
yeah
just absolutely thirsty
to rip into a little can of Dom Toretto
yeah
just salivating at the
opportunity to bust
on and
with Dominic
Toretto, who
is looking fucking hot in this film.
I mean, fair play to him.
He's picked the right guy to try and bust to
or with. It's pretty sick to
call Paul Walker gay, then show up to a
family barbecue and a mesh singlet and a
leather cuff, and also be like, I'm not staying, and then leave.
And then 10 minutes later be like, I was just mucking around.
It's powerful, powerful stuff.
The early 2000s nostalgia of this film is beautiful, from the homophobia to the techno,
it's all on display i've got to say the the
soundtrack to this rule absolutely they used actual music super sparingly they introduced
all as a character it was so pretty but mainly the thing that they did i'm going to get artful
on this for a second they scored this film with the sound of engines.
That's what those gassets came to see.
That's what they were born up about,
is blow-off valves and the sound of
NOS being
injected into an engine.
There are genuine
cinematic reflections, I think, to be made.
But it feels
too early in our
conversation to do that because I was moved, I was actually
squeamish in the climactic action sequence. For the first time in the whole franchise
I had to look like that when V they were calling him, the guy we were teasing before, Vince,
yeah, he had his arm strung up and he was hanging from the car and they were showing,
you know, they showed the...
That's what you're going to do with a homophobe.
Yeah.
You're gonna string him up by the hand.
But I, you know, yeah, this, I guess it reflects Paulie, I mean, I was feeling very empathetic towards this guy who was dangling from a truck.
Yeah, yeah, I was too, I'm totally there with you. I also was like, I was, I was wincing.
Mm.
And I, none of these movies have done that. How much of that do you think is about us being in a cinema this evening and seeing this on the beautiful big screen
at the Hollywood Avondale with the correct sound? I think yeah you get percentage points for that.
If it was a pie graph I think you know that's in the pie graph. And I'd imagine
there are other colors for other parts too. I'm imagining you know probably four
or five parts in a pie graph. Okay.
So, one of the slices is we're watching on the big screen in the cinema.
I think one of the slices is, it is, it's,
it sounds silly to say for any of these movies, but it is grounded.
And like the stunts in this movie are like a car does a jump.
Yeah.
You know, we've seen like across the year,
we've seen cars like leap over nuclear submarines, go to space, parachute.
We've seen a tank run down a Spanish highway that is absolutely unstoppable.
We've seen such a wide variety of obscene, like, high-end.
So we've seen, like, the zombie.
Remember the zombie?
Remember the Lion King-style buffalo stampede through the streets of New York?
Every now and then, one of their cars befriends another car
and then suddenly they've got the ability to move a bank vault.
Yeah, we've seen them drag bank vaults.
And so to see them just being like,
we're just trying to get one guy to survive
who's being dangled by a piece of metal wire off of a truck.
You're like, fuck man, these feel like real consequences.
Yeah, absolutely. Everything's got the correct amount of weight and heft to it. truck you're like fuck man like these feel like real consequences yeah absolutely everything's
got the correct amount of weight and to turn back to the music thing you were saying which i totally
agree with you said that you know what makes this you leaned over to me quietly at the back of the
cinema you know what makes this so amazing no music and you know and that that's also in the
pie graph you know the pie it's a good looking pie graph.
Because it was just like...
So the three slices of the pie graph are no music,
the fact that we're in a cinema, and no music again?
No, no, no.
You flatter yourself.
Believable stakes.
Oh, yeah, that was the other component.
Big old bit of the pie graph.
Yeah.
If I had to fill out the other parts...
Yeah, you feel like you painted yourself into a corner I think like the I guess blood like
human bloods
That's in the pie graph. I am I am square. I'm a squeamish
I'm a squeamish audience move
I struggle I struggle with blood on screen and the father, you know largely this franchise avoids blood altogether
Paul Walker a little bit of blood in that scene too. Yeah.
There's a man...
I'm not going to tell the plot of...
We should.
After this, we maybe should have an attempt.
I think it'd be fun to attempt to tell the story of what we just watched.
Of this movie?
Yeah.
Dude.
All of these people saw it.
That feels insane to me.
One of the most fucked up ideas I've ever heard. That feels insane to me.
One of the most fucked up ideas I've ever heard.
And that's saying something. Yeah, yeah.
And I've been hanging out with you for 10 years.
The sort of, the final third, the third act of this film is amazing.
And it kicks off with, they try and do one last big job
for a three-month holiday.
Just give them a season off.
Just one.
Maybe winter's coming up.
They want to rug up.
Well, before we even...
Get Netflix DVDs, I guess, in 2001?
Well, they've certainly got the players,
and this is what I want to talk to you about.
You're a tech guy.
Every movie we watch, you identify the tech, and you say, that's talk to you about. You're a tech guy. Every movie we watch you identify the tech and you say that's
that tech you know and you have a relationship to it. How much money are
they getting? You know this this truck heist in DVD reselling and also to be
fair some of them were the most iconic TVs in the history of TVs. The little TVs with
the VCR built in. How much were those retailing for, 2001, do you know?
How much were they retailing for?
Yeah, like what are they turning?
Every truck they heist, what are they turning?
I don't think a lot, man,
because they put a DVD player in the PS2 for free.
So like the standalone ones weren't worth that much.
Is the PS2 out?
Yeah, bro, they've got PS5 Pros now.
Obviously in the present
day. Pulling your chain.
2001.
Yeah, I think
so, right? I think we're up to PS2s at that
point. Yeah, that does.
Listen, the long and short of it is
it's a ridiculous setup.
This is a crazy thing to be heisting.
But I think it kind of, it would rope in the target audience,
which is 14-year-old boys, you know?
Which was us.
It was us.
We were like, holy shit, DVD players.
These guys are going to be rich.
Because we weren't so good at math back then.
TVs with the VHS built in.
It is crazy because they introduced the fact.
That's the coolest thing in the world.
They say this is what's in the truck
at the start of the movie they go, here's what's in the truck
it's TVs with VCR players and DVD players
and then you see this really beautiful action sequence
including what is genuinely quite a spectacular stunt
when the car first goes underneath the truck they're heisting from
and you're like, whoa!
You don't even care about cars but you's pretty cool. It was and I have no
understanding of why it needed
to do that because there are four
cars in formation around that truck
and the other three
either go directly in front or directly behind
the truck and one of them goes in between the wheels
and drives under it. I'm like why are you doing
that? They've got to get through
they're blasting through a
closed road. You know, there's only one
lane to navigate. Yeah, cool.
Get in behind the last
car in the line. Sometimes
you're next to the truck at the wrong time,
Tim. That's crazy
to miscalculate and be
there at the wrong time, but be
so good at driving that you can just...
It would be a superior movie if all of the cars were just in single file formation.
Give me a better reason for it to happen. I'm not saying don't do the stunt.
The stunt was unbelievable. And I mean that in the most positive terms.
I just didn't buy the why. The what was cool.
Yeah. It's nice. It's nice to disagree.
I also want to shout out because a huge part of their like
their strategy which is so sloppy is like double harpoon one through the window yeah whatever the
second one the second one into the back of the passenger seat it's like shout out to the strength
of passenger seats in 2001 because they fucking spotlight it every time,
even in the climactic one.
They get like a close-up of it going into the back of the seat
and you're like, yeah, that's going to hold.
These criminals have managed to get armaments
which are like really super advanced human tranq guns
that shoot out what looks like a spiky kind of hockey puck
of a tranq dart and slowly take a
truck driver out and yet this weird Gatling gun idea is like their best plan to get in?
It's wild stuff. Such good drivers come up with a better thing.
They keep going back to the grappling hook and Too Fast Too Furious, the police are
using electronic grappling hooks to like shut down people's cars.
That's right.
And then in later films...
And the hockey puck comes back as well.
That's right.
Because they've got that same weapon in the... There's only two weapons in the Fast franchise.
Do you know what?
It's either grappling hooks or hockey pucks doing shit.
It's kind of beautiful and crazy. With that one to be too sentimental, it's hard not to overlay
our own aging over the last 10 years on top of watching this movie today because it's like we've spending time with these people when they're so young yeah it was like it's like watching a you
know like the start of a documentary when you sort of know the story of the main characters really
well and i'm like man you guys have got no you know like one day it's DVD players the next day it's the world yeah like I don't know how they get recruited because the next time we meet Dominic
Tretto on this franchise at the start of the fourth one and he's still just running the same
shit with oil tankers but it's exactly the same setup they're just driving up to an oil tanker
like separating off some of the tankers it's the same bit and then all of a sudden you know
shit ramps up real quick after four
when you think about it, eh?
Yeah.
Suddenly they're getting recruited by,
I don't know, like the NSA or something?
Well, they've got to outrun The Rock
and then they've got to work with The Rock.
And that's what happens in this franchise as well.
The Rock's a diplomat or something, isn't he?
Isn't he like a super postman?
Yeah, yeah, it's a very powerful postman.
He's like, yeah, he's got those kind of...
Yeah, the deleted scenes of the first one that The Rock is in
is basically an entire movie in which he's got a very important parcel
to deliver before Christmas.
And he gets waylaid by this sort of, you know, the family.
Ironically, it should have been Stath's role, transporting.
Oh, of course.
He's the transporter.
Very droll. We don't mind laughing, you and I. I was very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, And so they go back and show all of this old footage through the prior movies of the characters.
There was one, I didn't mention this in either of our prior episodes on Too Fast Too Furious,
but seeing Tej with an F was mean, because that's part of the flashback.
And then there was a shot, and as soon, like the frame when it came up,
when Dominic Toretto, he's standing in front of his garage,
and I can't even remember the exact context but I think
he's saying, this car to Brian.
Brian's brought in that beat up car
with the great engine as if he's like, this is
the car I owe you. Yeah, and that
in memoriam sequence is
so etched into my brain.
I've retained none of this franchise but
for some reason, that goodbye to Paul
Walker is in my heart. I'll tell you why Tim,
because you watched it seven times.
Well,
it's part of it.
One of the big reasons
you probably remember that so well
is they just wedged it in
at the end of the seventh movie
and pulled on
every single heart string.
But Ro,
ask me a single question
about Nine,
I will get it wrong.
I can't remember a damn thing.
And I saw that one nine times.
Imagine that.
I'm trying to,
I'm trying to generate
a question for you.
Nah, they go to space.
Tej and Roman go to space.
Not a question.
Where do Tej and Roman go?
They also, you know, that's the other thing., you know, when you see this, you flash forward to nine and when you first see the family house and the barbecue.
Yeah, that's big.
That's at the end of nine.
Everyone's back at their house.
They've rebuilt their house because Jason Statham blows it up or some shit.
Yeah, that's right.
With a package.
With a package.
With a package from a postman.
That's right. With a package. With a package from a postman!
Um, weirdly, I think, I could be wrong, but the first mention of family is actually by Brian's cop dad in this one. Mmm. What do you think about the cops staking out at Elizabeth Taylor's old house?
Pretty wild! Pretty fucking cool.
It is cool, but it's kinda like everyone's a criminal in this movie.
The cops are just stealing houses off criminals and then living there.
It's like, I don't know if that's...
Is that common practice?
Yeah.
I mean, like, Brian O'Connor's got a really high...
Some of the police departments in the States now are, like, funding themselves.
That's how they fund themselves, because they change the laws,
so they just get to keep either a percentage or all of the shit they take off the criminals.
Honestly, it makes...
So now they've started underfunding the police departments and the cops have just got to go basically
grabbing shit like pirates dang it kind of makes sense because i do think about when
well just like not morally but just vibes wise if you used to if like if you stop a car that's
full of cash it would suck to not get that some of the cash you stop a car that's full of cash, it would suck to not get to have some of the cash.
You stop a car that's full of cash,
you're like, no, no, no, I know that's not your cash.
And then what, you just give it back?
That's so fucking lame.
We found out in Too Fast, Too Furious,
the way to handle that situation is call the cops,
but before they get there, stuff it a bit into your pants.
Yeah, just once around the waist.
How much do you reckon he had in there?
Say there were hundreds.
I don't know.
20,000, I reckon, 20 grand.
No, no, no, because what's in a stack?
I don't know.
What is it?
$10,000 is in a stack.
It's 100 notes.
You're into 100 notes and one of those things.
So he would have
got easy
like $150,000.
It's such a delicious
amount of money.
Are you going to
$150,000?
It's tantalizing,
isn't it?
It's yum.
It's so yum
because a million dollars
is like,
I don't know,
it feels like
there's strings to it.
It feels like
someone's going to
fucking shoot me
in the head
or the tax man's
going to come.
$150,000 feels to me in the head or the tax man's gonna come sit 150 000
fears to me like i'm sorted and no one's asking about it i'm sweet you should join the police
you're a big pro cop guy now i i had to i i actually you know what i'm like i had something
quite poignant to say but it's gone okay well then can we talk about race wars for a bit?
Because like, it got mentioned in five, I think.
Letty and, oh no, wait, six, seven.
When's Letty getting her memory back?
Don't sweat it, don't sweat it, don't sweat it, don't sweat it, don't sweat it.
Six, I reckon.
Okay, I won't.
Moving on.
But race wars plays a huge role in this.
And it's just, I've got a lot of
questions but my main one is is this a thing in real life do we think race wars
is the thing that exists because I think it's too crazy a term for them to have
made up for this film franchise with that just no one blinks an eye they're
like oh yeah we're off to race wars it's all about, it's like, sorry, what did you just say? We're off to do race
wars? Go to race, what did you say? You're in LA, it's a contentious place in the early
2000s.
Well, even before, like when they first show up for their first street, when Brian O'Connor
shows up for his first street race, they profile all the different racing groups, basically
by race. They're like, there are Hispanic people who race cars.
There are Asian American people who race cars.
There are black people who race cars.
It's like, here they're all doing it in unity,
just on the streets of Los Angeles.
But every now and then, we get everyone together in the desert.
Yeah.
And they do it with hate in their heart.
Fuck it, eh?
And here's the other thing about race wars.
It looks like it would be a grim time.
They are just out in the middle of fucking nowhere under a cloudless sky with no shade
or trick.
There's no feature and there's just shitty little tents that they've popped up.
And then at nighttime, because I imagine it would be unbelievably cold, they're all huddled
around flaming- There was some techno-
Big rubbish bins.
Like a bunch of rough sleepers, but they've all got half-million-dollar cars.
It's kind of how I felt about...
Sleep in your car.
Have you slept in your car?
No.
It's so cold sleeping in the car.
It's bad.
It looks cold all around.
Yeah, it is cold.
Actually, there's a lot in the world of this film,
because I still don't know if I saw it at the cinema or not in 2001 i i you know i
like the think i went to it at the hoyts on morehouse ave in christchurch next to science
alive huge shout out don't know if they're still going besides alive still there no no but that's
gone there that went i just had a big big slide. The vertical slide was amazing.
Big slide.
Scary.
Do you remember the plasma wall?
What did the plasma wall do?
Do you not remember?
Oh, man.
So, you know a plasma ball?
No.
The whole...
Oh, fuck.
Do you really not?
A plasma ball, it's like, it's got...
It looks like someone's captured lightning in there and it's slowly moving around.
Oh, and you touch it and it's slowly moving around.
Oh, you touch it and it goes...
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, there was a whole big wall of that assigned saliva.
Do you know, I think I spent so long building up the carriage to go on the slide,
I didn't notice anything else.
Oh, bless.
Did you do it?
Yeah, I think it's where I first felt the feeling of losing my tummy.
Oh, true.
But don't worry, we got reunited again.
Over the road at Denny's,
one of the fine dining establishments.
But anyway,
watching...
A feeling that Guy Montgomery
once described as
having the feeling
of having a vagina.
Yes.
When I used to lose my tummy,
I wouldn't share this feeling
with anyone.
You've said it on the pod.
I've said it before.
Yeah, yeah,
but at the time, it was private. Oh, I see. I've said it before. Yeah, yeah, but at the time
it was private.
Oh, I see.
But, yeah,
when I would lose my tummy
I used to think
that that's what it felt like
to have a vagina.
Because,
and biologically
I can walk you through
what I thought was happening.
I'd love to hear.
I thought that feeling
was the penis and balls
going in and up.
Okay. And to my, the best
of my knowledge at the time, that's what a vagina was. It was all in the innie. Well,
everything was up. There's kind of two sets of things below your chest that were innies
and outies. Do you know how I learned that wasn't the case? Once when we went over a
big bump on a, I knew this big bump. Once we went over the big bump on the drive,
I made a point of holding my penis
to see if it stayed out.
That's science.
Science alive.
That's what that is.
That's fucking research, brother.
So yeah, no,
so I wasn't mucking around with the plasma wall.
Yeah, you didn't go to the bar.
You were taking your experience to the streets
and you were really doing
the hands-on science. I was.
But what it made me think is
seeing these big parties
like when they first go back to the family house
and there's a party and seeing the party at the race wars
Their parties are fucking terrible.
The first one?
Yeah, it was right here in the central.
You go to any fucking totem Tote and then your house party.
There was an attempt, Gran Turismo was on the screen, and I think Leti was playing while lying on the floor.
Yeah.
She looked like she was on care, and too much, to be honest.
There were a lot of people hooking up and stuff, I'm here for that, there was some music, great, but then it looked like Leti had a little too much care.
And then when Dom got there, she stood up, she was like, you're going to go upstairs, we're going to get a massage.
It's actually a ball of light.
She said, you look tense, we need to go upstairs
so you can give me a massage.
I was like, that rocks.
That is pretty good.
Hey, I know that we're going somewhere else,
but how good is Mia in this film
and how tragically is she treated
for the rest of this franchise
yeah she's got a real
excitement she's got a real sense of
individuality and purpose
she's got her own shit going on
and she's fun and
sexy and like
she's got her own agenda and she's like
she makes sandwiches real fast
if you go in there you'll be like I get sandwiches real fast you're like
if you go in there
you'd be like
I get a sandwich
she'll be like
that's a trash order
and then five seconds later
it's like bang
there's your sandwich
here's your garbage
maybe the reason
the sandwiches you're making
are so shit
is you're putting
no time or energy
into them
it's crazy to be like
that's a bad order
and then give them the food
it's like
but that was actually also we'll get back to her but that line when It's crazy to be like, that's a bad order, and then give them the food.
But that was actually also, we'll get back to her, but that line when, it's Vince, he shows up,
and he's like, man, you keep coming here, what are you, sandwich crazy?
I love these.
I think it is an early 2000s thing.
I don't know.
Maybe movies are always like this,
where you get the energy of what they're saying,
but the scripting is fucking crazy.
I thought it was good.
I thought there were a few, like,
I don't know what the intent when they were written were,
but a few genuine laugh lines.
Like, this one was not, this was an extra,
but when Ja rules, like, everyone knows,
it's not how you stand by your car,
it's how you drive your car.
Like, surely you just say it.
Surely you just say it's not how you stand by your car,
it's how you drive it.
I'll put money on the fact that the script did not have the car.
Ja Rule said it, and no one is telling Ja Rule to do a second time.
But even like Dom Toretto's got jokes in this.
Dom Toretto says Brian's undercover name
is a serial killer's name.
Yes.
That's a joke.
I guess that's a joke.
When they both do that big jump past a train
and he gets totaled by a car and he's like,
that's not how I wanted it to go.
He said that's not what I had in mind
after he's almost killed himself racing a train.
It's like 45 fucking screenings of Fast and the Furious movies over different periods of time.
It's the first time he's genuinely made me laugh out loud.
It was a great, genuinely funny moment from him.
Like they've got this shit as, you know, or what was it?
Oh, I just remember what it was.
Yes, because I was afraid I didn't write this down.
This might be my shining light.
Is it Johnny Tran? His cousin is Lance and he looks at one of the cars and he says It's a beautiful machine.
Lance has a good like...
It's a beautiful machine, rocks!
The actor who plays Lance has a good role in the movie, but Lance in life has a fantastic...
So he's friends with a very powerful guy.
And basically, he just walks around next to him
and every now and then the powerful guy will be like,
what do you think, Lance?
Which actually, I'm saying it sounds fun.
It also sounds like quite high pressure.
Because, you know, you only get to talk once every day
and it's always in front of people and you have to look cool.
And you're wearing snakeskin pants
shout out to the cinematography
very rarely do we see it in movies but we've got
to pan down to a man's ass
in snakeskin pants
which is about time for us
but they actually kicked off the franchise with it
it was beautiful
they abandoned it immediately
you know what there should be butt people
yeah
earlier in the season Joseph Moore was telling us about it immediately. You know what? There should be butt people. Yeah.
Well, there were no, because, you
know, earlier in
the season, Joseph
Moore was telling
us about the
butt girls.
Yes.
And I don't
really know what
they were, but the
butt girls are the
girls who...
Butt woman.
Oh, sorry.
And you were, no,
you were the one
who corrected Joe
on that.
Oh.
So I'm using your
own words against
you.
Shout out to me.
The ally, guy.
Big time ally.
Yeah, so they're
women who are best known for their butts.
And they start the races.
And I don't know if it's by accident or if they keep doing it on purpose,
but the way that they're filmed, you always see a little bit of their butt.
Anyway, in this one, like the first one where you think they'll be like,
and here's a big part of our idea for movies,
is you get to see a little bit of beautiful people's butts.
No butts.
Just a guy in the middle of the road being like...
Oh, yeah.
Not a single...
Not a simply absent when they do that street race.
Not a single butt woman.
Yeah.
Or girl.
Or boy.
Or man.
Or non-binary person.
A devastating lack of arse.
What we don't have a devastating lack of, though,
are cars that I would like to have sex with.
All right.
So we'll just, we don't need to spend
a tremendous amount of time on this.
But at number five, it is Johnny Tran's Honda S2000.
It's sleek, it's black, it's a sexy, naughty, badass car.
That's the car he wins the race against Jesse with at the race wars.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's really cool.
You like the look of that?
Yeah, man.
What do you like?
Talk to me.
It's a car that gets in trouble.
Oh, too much trouble?
Yeah. And what, you think you can... No, look, I'm there for a quick time. it's a car that gets in trouble oh too much trouble yeah
and what you think you can
no look I'm there for a quick time
a good time not a long time
I don't think this car is relationship material
whoa
but I don't think that's what that car's looking for either
you wanna
I wanna fuck that car
I just wanna have sex with that car.
Would you do it at the race wars?
That feels like a crazy thing to say, but yeah.
I want to fuck Johnny Trans Honda at the race wars.
I don't even need to know how you're going to seduce it.
Johnny Trans, like, on an E, as E as they call it and he's raving.
Yeah.
He's saddled on up.
Yeah, he's peeled up.
It's cold, huh?
It's cold.
It's so hot during the day, but it really drops off at night, huh?
I hear it's a lot warmer if you sleep in a car.
As you gently put your turch and cock into the exhaust pipe
Number four
It's the
Ferrari S
M353 Spider
Which is racing against
Brian at the lights on the way
To race for it
It's before race for it
It's when Brian, he's been given 36 hours on the case
He's trying to size up Dom
He's trying to get Dom to admit they're on the way to have some shrimp.
And yeah, I know the car you're talking about, they pop up to the lights, before we get into your desire to seduce this car, I think it's so funny to pull up at the lights next to someone with a nice car, you know, by whoever's standards, and be like, that's a nice car, how much did it cost?
And then they're like, it's more money than you can afford
and then be like, I'm almost going to kill myself
about this.
You know, like the fact that someone else
owns an expensive car means
I'm going to risk everything.
It's like Brian and Dom look at each other
and agree, yeah, we should try to
almost kill ourselves posing this.
But first off,
the thing that I loved about that little moment
is the guy
so they're like
nice guy
how much is it
how much
oh
how much is it retail for
is the actual
and the guy
owns the car
says more than you can afford
full stop
Ferrari
Ferrari is his punctuation
on that sentence
which rules
that is a fucking dude
who owns a Ferrari
and he's got a Ferrari hat that he wears everywhere.
He's got a little Ferrari blazer
and he's got a little fucking bag that's got the Ferrari in the back.
So what's he doing racing these guys?
Like, these guys have nothing to lose.
Brother, I don't know if he agreed or participated in the race.
Because they just see the green light and floor it
and suddenly they're darting throughout traffic.
We don't see the Ferrari again. I think these two are racing themselves.
We see the Ferrari comes at the front.
Does it? Does it do darting?
Yeah, we see it come around. What would you do with that Ferrari?
I'd fuck it, dude.
It's at number four. You'd expect for their car.
You don't just fuck a Ferrari.
No, you do. This is the thing. People overthink about Ferraris.
It's like, you know, it's that classic trope of the hottest girl in heights.
Oh, so unattainable.
Therefore, no one fucking talks to her.
Ferrari's the same damn thing.
It feels unapproachable.
Therefore, no one approaches it.
Therefore, if anyone does, done.
Easy.
Wow.
Yeah.
It's this.
It's a Ferrari number three all right here's one not even a
fucking car it's trans motocross bikes yeah the gang's bikes are cool and I
want to fuck you want to have an orgy with these bikes they're Honda's and
they look like they're a lot of fun.
Okay.
How do you orchestrate that?
I think, well, my mind's immediately going to, here's something trippy.
I think I'm taking the bikes to the speedway to watch cars race.
That feels rude.
That feels rude.
It's kinky.
It's weird.
It's kind of like, whoa, fuck.
You know what?
I think it's actually nice in a way
because I feel like the bikes
would never think to do that.
They'd be like, no, it's not for us.
And then they'd be like, hey,
I can imagine them.
They're like jostling with each other and they over the like hey this is actually really fun yeah you know
we never do stuff like this man i'm trying to think of a human uh analogy for this and it's such a
strange kind of relationship that i've thought up there that i can't of taking a motorbike on a date
to yeah i don't know that there's a you you know, a human equivalent. No, I don't think there is.
But so, I mean, well, what I want to know is, so you've got, how many are you dating? Three. So you've taken three bikes to the racetrack. Yeah. It's gone well. Yes. What comes next? The sex. Man, you're fucking the shit out of these cars, you know, like... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What, you, what, you, like, how did you get there?
What? To the speedway?
Yeah.
Rode the bikes.
You are being ridiculous.
The third of the way I go on one,
and then at the lights, third of the way I change,
everyone gets a turn.
You're like, you're on the bachelor.
You are the bachelor.
I'm the bachelor. And the bikes are the last
three.
And you're watching cars.
And we're watching cars. Which again
feels weird but it's a king.
Oh and Wilson Zuzo's like hey
looking good. Wow.
Number two.
It's
Jesse's
1995 VW Jetta which is actually his dad's, which actually he loses in a NOS fuel race against Johnny Train.
Isn't it Johnny?
It's honestly crazy to me you're having sex with both cars from the same race.
That is...
Yeah, it's kinky.
It's fucking bold.
This is a crazy scene in the movie where...
So Jesse is a character that exists in lots of early 2000s films.
He is Mouse from The Matrix.
What was the...
Can I say who I think he is?
He's not the actor, but vibe-wise, he's Giovanni Ribisi.
He is like...
Who's that?
I don't know.
He's a guy I know.
Oh.
No, from actor. I don't know him personally
he's an actor
yeah yeah
you'd recognise him
right
I don't know
from what
but he's everywhere
sure
and energetically
he's Jesse
so what kind of characters
did he play
this guy
he played like
I think he played
Phoebe's brother or something
in Friends
yeah
yeah
fuck it hey
it is him
it's not him
don't get me wrong it isn't him but it's him yeah that's who, yeah. Fuck it, hey, it is him. It's not him. Don't get me wrong, it isn't him, but it's him.
Yeah, that's the guy.
Yeah, it isn't him though, just to be clear.
So this guy is a recurring character in movies of this era.
There's always this like skinny white guy.
He looks like me, basically.
And he's like a dweeb and he's kind of on Adderall
and he's all kind of hyped up and he's got of on Adderall and he's all kind of hyped up
and he's got a special skill.
He can put a floppy disk in a computer.
Handy.
The autocad running on that computer
is so sick.
Like the little graphics
and the wireframe of the cars
that they're swooping out.
That did look pretty cool,
I thought.
Yeah.
Does that correlate to what was going on
at the time
or is that magic?
Is that movie magic?
Seems like movie magic to me
but I don't know. What am I, a car guy? I think you know everything though. This guy, Tēnā koe koe tō koe tō koe tō tō tō tō? Tēnā koe tō tō tō tō? Tēnā tō tō tō tō tō tō? Tēnā tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō t Ka whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakaranga whakar Johnny Tran's going to catch up with him and fucking murder him
and spoiler alert
he does
yeah
that's a damn shame
and then what
you come in
you say to the car
hey baby
you look really tough
what happened
you don't open up with
hey baby
Jesus
have some decorum
you go
grief is processed
in a lot of ways
and whatever you're feeling
right now is totally natural.
Honestly, your one is so much more sinister.
Because your one is calculated.
Your one is, you want to get your end away with this car.
Oh, yeah, you're grieving, baby.
I understand, baby.
It's okay, babe.
You're not wrong.
I can't, you know, you're not wrong at all.
I was gutted when he got killed.
Well, not, you know, obviously I know he's not in future films,
but I was like, him and his buddy, was his name Lance?
Leo?
Jesse and Lance, I think were the two.
It can't be two Lances.
Oh, Leo.
What did you say?
Leo, right?
Leon.
Leon, yeah.
Oh, yeah, because it can't be Leo because then there's Leo later.
Leo and Santos.
By the way, why the fuck were Leo and Santos not in this film?
Because there was
Tom Cottle who did our artwork
who is the artistic genius.
He asked me, he was like, so you got any questions that you're looking
forward to being answered in this film?
I was like, no.
There's no loose threads
that I can think of in this franchise
that I need the Fast and the Furious
to answer for me.
Except the presentation of Leo and Santos has always treated us,
like with all the other movies,
like, and it's fucking these old guys.
And obviously you know Leo and Santos
from the first movie.
From the first movie, as we all know.
Very cool that they're back on the scene.
They're not in this fucking movie.
They never get formally introduced.
It's crazy. Yeah.
But they're always treated with this like
and Leo and Sentos of course
in tow. Yeah. Let me
shake their hand. Tell me
their names. The first time
they show up is at the start of
Fast 4. They're
hijacking these oil rigs
with Dom and Letty. Yes.
And you noticed that they're kind of in
the first half of that scene and then sort of just evaporate.
And then in the fifth movie, they're like,
well, obviously we need to get a crew together.
We'll get Leo and...
Everyone remembers Leo and Santos
from a few frames of the first movie.
And then they get these huge comedy sequences
where they're bickering like these established characters.
Yeah, really weird.
You know what?
They make the difference.
I wonder, do you think those two guys summon in real life?
Because you know how sometimes...
Probably actors.
You know, like they got Ja Rule in this one,
so you sort of, you can pull a lot of the real life character
in to sort of fill in some character context for it.
Do you know, I understand Ja Rule got offered Ludacris' role
in the second one, and he
said no because he wanted something more substantial, which made me think like, in the first one,
he must have, yeah, well, yeah, yeah, he wanted, yeah, the back end.
It's great, yeah, he took his flummoxed in, but I forgot about that.
You forgot Ja Rule was part of Fyre Festival?
Just forgot about the whole Fyre Festival shit.
It was fucking awesome
it was before
it was before
lockdown
I remember I
watched one
when I was in
America
yeah and I
was like
damn
I think that
yeah like the
watermark of it is the photo of like, you know, they got
promised a gourmet meal and it's like a compostable pack with like a sandwich with a piece of
lettuce and tomatoes spilling out.
And I was like, I paid $450 for this.
We were all left to make cake on that one, eh?
Like we were just fucking applauding.
But when Ja Rule, when I found out he passed up being in Too Fast
Too Furious
I was like
obviously he got
to do in the first one
and then felt
disrespected by the lack
but I was like
dude that is
relative to what
you've done in the first movie
you got offered
a very substantial role
yeah
and now Ludacris
is in all of the movies
yeah
he's aging well
and Ja Rule
might be in jail
nah nah
did he not get taken down because of the Fifey stuff?
Nah, that other guy.
The other guy.
Just the other guy.
Yeah, yeah.
Ja Rule was flummoxed and bamboozled.
Oh, really?
Was that the...
He did a tweet.
He said, I too was flummoxed and bamboozled.
And everyone was like, yeah, fair enough.
Sounds like him.
Number one car I want to fuck from the movie?
It's got to...
Can I guess?
Yeah.
It's got to be Brian's green car.
It is Brian's green car.
Yeah.
It feels like, I mean, it's the green machine.
It's a 1995 Mitsubishi Eclipse.
It's the introduction to cars in the world of the film.
It's like the first time you see the camera moving across a car,
like it's an object of desire, it's Brian's car.
And it happens multiple times before we start meeting and mixing and mingling with other cars.
It's like a car to which you've had a sexual awakening.
For example.
And this is something that I understand you have had.
Yes.
And my approach to Brian's car would mirror Brian's approach to Mia. It's like
find out where it is,
what it does, hang around,
keep your distance
a little bit, you know, keep an orbit
but keep a low orbit.
Not one high orbit.
Wide berth. Wide berth
orbit. Keep a wide berth
orbit around that thing.
I'm with you. You've got. Yeah, I'm with you.
You've got to wait.
I'm with you as much as it's possible to be.
I appreciate that desperately.
There's a lot of situations where you've got to be in the right place at the right time.
It's like creating your own luck, and that's what you've got to do with this beautiful Mitsubishi.
Okay.
So I'm just hanging around.
It sounds like you're lurking.
What you're describing
sounds like, or loitering
I think.
I think lurking is sadly more accurate
from what I'm doing.
How do you turn it around?
How do you turn it around?
Yeah, I'll be the car.
Well, I've turned up at your work quite a lot.
Okay.
And I keep asking for tuna sandwich crusts.
Vroom!
Well, I don't know.
If you keep making them, I'll keep making them.
Regardless of how good the tuna is.
Vroom!
What is the deal with your brother?
He just kind of...
He just sits there oiled up with his bed facing him.
Pretty sinister.
Anyway, I'm going to try and fuck their car.
It's so...
What?
Playing along?
A guy who for a season has been telling me the different cars he wants to fucking have,
all of a sudden, you know, I a damn shame it is for the way they introduced
Dom Toretto is like yeah you're right he's got his back to us which is it isn't incredible how
powerful that makes him yeah isn't it and this is a power I've never had and I always know so I
remember at school like if any if I'm say the say the whiteboard or the blackboard's up the front and, you know, the door's back there.
If the door opens, always, always, who's coming through the door?
Who's coming through the door?
Any door, any time, anywhere, I'm like, who's that?
Who's that?
Yeah, well, of course, who's coming in?
Because I'm on the run.
Yeah, well, of course. Who's coming in?
Because I'm on the run.
So to see that, I was like, wow, that's power.
Do you just sit there and hear shit going on behind you?
So if you were at home and you know, like, Chelsea's coming home roughly this time, will it kick in still?
If I know Chelsea's coming home about this time, I'll open up my laptop and have a very impressive Word document
going, and then I'll have
the theory of everything,
I'll have it on a book stand.
While you quickly try
and put classical music on the pages.
I'll be roasting
a chook or something, and then I'll go,
oh, I didn't even hear you come in there.
But you will still
look at the door.
Yeah, or at home now,
at home it's different.
At home, at home it's different.
At home I'm like, no, I'm at home.
But out and about.
So,
what are the situations where this happens
a lot? I just remember,
I'm mostly remembering it from classroom, but I just think
I always remember, like, it's a
genuine, it remains in my head
like an active personal goal
that when I hear a door open or
a new person enter a social setting or
something, to be like, I'm
happy with what I've got going on
right now, I don't need to
know about that. And it just
every time I actually do need to know about that. And it just, every time I actually do need to know
about that.
Wow.
Does that, you don't get this?
You're just like, you don't need to look over your shoulder.
I don't need to look at the door.
You're Dominic Toretto.
In this very specific example, I fucking am.
You're sitting in your family, also insane,
this never, this gets returned to.
The first time we see the Toretto name, we meet the Toretto family, is it a grocer?
It's like they run a family grocer.
That is what the Toretto's do.
They actually run a lot of shit.
Yeah.
And I don't know how they're across all of this because they do not have a tremendous amount of employees.
Yeah.
They're making all the sandwiches.
Dom is, I guess,
counting all the money at the back.
No, because later on,
they're like,
Dom, do you need a drink?
It's like 12 o'clock in the day.
Dom, do you need a drink?
He's already got a beer.
He's not even turning around.
He's like, ah.
Yeah, he's counting the money.
Is that what he's doing?
I reckon,
abacus out the back,
scales,
weight,
and then across.
How many quarter miles is this water cache?
You go to a referring group.
Mia, something's wrong.
The numbers don't add up.
It's very hard to count in base quarter mile on an advocate.
No wonder he's not turning around.
You know like when you're counting
and you're just trying to retain a number.
He's basically doing theoretical physics
just trying to count how much cash is coming in
and quarter miles on an abacus.
People keep coming in
and hitting on his sister and fighting with each other.
The way he's so mad about it
is he just wants to fucking concentrate
and figure out how many quarter miles they made yesterday.
And if they cleared enough to pay for the amount of quarter miles they had to pile the trip.
By the way, they're getting a tremendous deal on that because it's no good.
I mean, everyone's work-life balance in this movie is crazy.
Brian O'Connor, who is an undercover cop, who's like, yeah, I understand.
It would be probably
difficult to make and maintain friendships if your life is undercover. It's probably quite risky.
It's probably not even allowed. But in his role as an undercover cop, he works at a mechanics where
he also lives. Yeah. His bedroom. Is it like a single bed out the back of a mechanics? Yeah.
That's great. Like, you know, in any world, cinematic or a mechanics that's quite like you know in any world
cinematic or otherwise that's very
unusual and in the movie they just treat it like
yeah that's where Brian lives. Brian's a
cop and he lives in the back of the mechanics
where his undercover persona is
and that's where he has sex with Mia
It feels like
bunks. It's like
the work equivalent of bunks.
The fact that he sleeps in a little bed at work.
Yeah.
It's very infantilising.
I think it's slavery as well.
You can't just put your employees,
you can't just tuck them into a bed.
I think that feels like his choice.
It doesn't.
He's ignoring how work operates normally
The second part of what I was saying before though
Is the Toretto's have this like lunch place
With terrible tuna sandwiches
And a very busy garage
Yeah
They don't have a lot of employees in either place
They make it work
They do somehow
It's quite
And they're always nipping off to race wars
I don't know how they fit at all
That's the other nice thing actually
Is that you know like seeing things for the first time.
And I feel like we've, you know,
I guess there's so much ground to cover
as we reflect on this movie
and also, you know, a year of Fast and the Furious movies.
But we've...
Yeah, and I can't even actually remember
what I was going to say at the start of this sentence.
Could I ask you a question then, based on what you just said?
Permission granted.
How do you, so once again, just a quick little recap.
We've done a year of Grown Ups 2, we've done a year of Sex and City 2, we've done a year of Sex and City 1.
Imagine if we did a year of Grown Ups 1, it's not happening.
We did We Are Your Friends, we've done The Emanuels,
we've done My Week With Cats, we've done Doolittle.
Where do you think, for you, Fast and Furious ranks?
Inside of all of that?
Yeah, and let's call the scale Quality of Our Output.
Quality of Our Output?
That's a fucking
insane, that's like trying to count money
in quarter miles. That's like
such an abstract concept.
Alright, well pick the scale that you have
My enjoyment of watching the thing
this is
you know, like it's hard
to reflect because again, the most recent
thing I saw was a sick movie
at the movies. Yeah. So obviously this was fantastic. Nga koe, koe kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia kia k treat this is like it's like a second one this is like if you did like one of
those big meals like a nine course degustation thank you and then you know
you have an audience and you're at the end you're like I couldn't possibly and
then the last thing you're actually I can fit that in and you have anything
that was the best thing I ate the whole time that up guy because it has been
noted that there is you know considering the structure of this season and the franchise we've taken on, deeply unfinished business and that there is a fact we just fucking ignored, which is the most recent one. In short, no. The longer version is absolutely not.
These movies improved almost, save for four,
these movies were like a graph of improvement as we went backwards.
You know, like I think five was quite an enjoyable watermark for the friend.
It's the highest movie in Brazil.
I think Tokyo Drift was a lot of fun.
Too Fast, Too Furious, like a lot, you know,
Fun in the Sun down in Miami, Florida with the boys.
This was obviously fantastic.
There's just no planet in which I traipse back to watch
whatever the fuck they're doing with Jason Momoa in 2023.
Yeah.
Like, it honestly feels obscene to me.
To even hear it, I can't describe physiologically what
happened inside of my body but it was like it's honestly you know and i started this podcast
saying i feel good yeah and now you don't that's the that's like that's like it is amazing to think
about isn't it like both things to consider at once the journey that we have been on in the
journey that the film franchise has been on because because they're at odds with each other.
We have had a, this is a weird turn of phrase,
but like a descendancy into quality.
We have gone down the road into the best films.
And what the movies did in actual real life for anyone else that isn't us
is they got progressively shitter.
I can't fucking imagine what teen is.
As you grow, as you, but so if you're watching them in linear order, which with hindsight,
you know, and you know, I hope you don't mind me saying this, I think it's probably the
right way to do it. I think there's a world in which...
I honestly disagree, but go on.
Do you?
I think we did it right.
For the reason I just described.
We watch a franchise improve.
We watch a franchise grow.
No one else has that experience of Fast and Furious.
We're the only people who got to experience the Fast and Furious franchise improve over time.
You think about that.
I am.
That's actually quite beautiful.
Yeah, that's nice.
But I think what happened is
everyone got older with the franchise.
And like, you know, by the time
they got to experience these,
you know, like the Letty's death
and then revival,
Han's death
and then revival, you's death and then revival.
You know,
this wide variety
of magic tricks
that the franchise
shared with the fans.
They got to experience that
in a cinema where it was like,
oh, you know,
they get to experience it
in a way that we don't.
We see Han get revived
and then like six,
yeah,
and then like six movies later,
we're like,
oh, Han's dead
you know like
it's a very fucking
disorienting way to go
about your business
but I think
there's value
if you'd watch
the nine movies
then the tenth one
comes out
you're not
you know
you've spent so much time
you're not not
going to get like
stoned out of your skull
you're not not
going to get
obliterated
and go to the center
and be like
I wonder what they can do
that's beyond space.
You know, like, I want to see them
drive a motorbike into a black hole.
Now we're using
I statements, which I think is an important
step for you.
Fuck you!
Cunts!
And I'm sorry for swearing,
but that is how I feel
when I talk to you sometimes.
There is some good shit we haven't even discussed in this movie.
Namely, iced cappuccino.
Four of them.
Crazy, crazy spotlight.
Set that scene, Mr Montgomery.
So it's just been revealed that Brian O'Connor's
a cop. He shows up at his Elizabeth Taylor's hotel, reunites with his boss who works for
the LAPD, there's also an FBI agent there. The LAPD agent turns to one of his lackeys
and he's like, we better get four iced cappuccinos. And you'd assume that's enough, like that's
a big enough beat. And then the lackey goes, goes boss caffeinated or decaf and you get to see the boss be
like hmm do you know better make it decaf because I think he looks at Brian and
sees how hopped up Brian is all the time he's like you better fucking call it on this guy
and even that would be enough but then then in the next shot, all four of the central characters have like heavy, heavy looking decaf ice cabbages
with a cream finish, like with a cream top.
And it's not even in a Starbucks cup,
which is what I was expecting to happen.
I'm like, oh, this is how they paid for the movie.
It's just a fucking brandless cup.
They just decided to put a decaf ice decided to put it in. They're crazy.
They're like glass mugs. What is
going on? Why
was it so important? Why was it
so important to the script writer?
Why was it so important to the producers to
retain that? Why was it so important to
the director to not override everyone and be like
that is a fucking bonkers thing to put
in my car for 14
year olds.
Legacy though.
That's like,
it is fucking.
And they're fucking police officers.
They're risking their damn lives operating from Elizabeth Taylor's house every damn day.
And that beautiful architectural home.
Why are they fucking around with DK by Scampagitos?
It's so strange. You try living your life undercover in a mechanic's single bed and then you come to the only people
who know who you actually are. You'd be losing your mind.
I have drank coffee since I was 14.
Are you serious?
Yeah, I worked at a Starbucks for a year. I've never heard that order or even thought
about it conceptually as something that someone would want to have.
Do you know, what is a testament
to the way that this film is made
is the only thing better than the discussion
of the decaf iced cappuccinos
is the visual reveal of the...
It's like, you know...
It's a 10 out of 10 no notes
that it pops up after it's mentioned.
It's like, what the fuck did you just say?
And you know what?
It's four cops, four grown-ass male cops sitting around.
They're grizzled men.
Not even acknowledging that this is kind of unusual.
Not being like, hey, did you order this for me?
They're just like, fucking thanks, bro, honestly.
Why do we even have the capability to produce four iced decaf cappuccinos
at a whiff, at a fucking drop of a hat,
moments notice, at the cop shop in Elizabeth Taylor's house?
The house is not built for this, okay?
The house has clearly been designed for people to live in.
It's a beautiful family home.
Is it a little gauche? Sure.
It was built for Elizabeth Taylor.
She was a flashy woman.
It's filled with CRT computer monitors, which wore my heart to see.
That really brought me back to the early 2000s.
But then what kind of wacky-ass coffee machines have they got there
that they can just whip that up?
The guy who made them, he runs the machine, you know that.
It's like living with a Mr. Whippy.
It's like being Mrs. Whippy, is that what you mean?
Mrs. Whippy.
Is that what you're telling me?
Hey, what about this one?
You want time?
Buy a magazine.
Pretty good.
Pretty fucking good.
That really reminded me of Lethal Weapon, just in general time. by a magazine pretty good pretty fucking good
that really reminded me
of Lethal Weapon
yeah
just in general time
this whole
this is the thing
is that
and they don't
you don't know
what you're making
when you're making it
so we
like you know
say 10 years ago
we watched
Grown Up Super
the first time
we don't know
we're going to be
doing this
fucking
shit
forever
you know
they don't know
that this movie
like this movie
I think has a genuine watching it in the cinema tonight I was like know that this movie like this movie i think has a genuine
watching it in the cinema tonight i was like this is this is forever this movie will have a place in
cinematic lore like this is genuinely um so of its time it's so influential in the way that movies
were made and like the the length and breadth of the franchise afterwards yeah it's all this crazy
shit we're talking about now which is you know all of these like these hokey lines take on added value i guess you know and the
laughs don't matter a lot the difference between an ironic laugh and a laugh it's the same thing
yeah it's like it's actually it's actually beautiful like this is far and away the best
movie for action you know and all the other ones have bigger budgets they have bigger sequences
so this movie for action is the best movie for action, it's the best movie for comedy,
it's the best Fast and the Furious movie
by a fucking country mile.
It is.
I really love it.
In some ways, a massive tragedy
we only got to watch it one time.
But Tim,
that's how you're meant to watch movies.
I forgot.
Do you know, I was actually,
the last time I watched a movie that wasn't Fast and the Furious
was like August, bro.
Fucking insane.
We've not been leading healthy lives.
Not at all.
I want to tell you this.
I think we should wrap up the podcast.
Okay.
And I think what we'll do after we finish the record
is if there's anyone who has any questions or information
they want to impart, we can quickly do that.
Sure.
But I haven't done my shining light.
And it's going to pale in comparison to how excited we got about those iced cappuccinos.
There was a time in the world when being a pizza delivery person used to mean something.
That was a job that people had.
And it represented, in a way, status.
It represented where you were.
And it was a running joke inside of a lot of movies.
There were often stoned teenagers or dweeby fellas.
And it was a job that, I think they were driving their own cars and they'd have the big light
on top and it would represent the pizza company.
And it was something I always had a strange affinity to and warmth for I thought it
looked kind of fun the idea I think the idea of it that you know you get stoned
you listen to your music and you deliver a pizza yeah and traffic's gonna be what
it may be people aren't expecting things immediately they want them delivered you
know efficiently enough but it was and know, to see that captured in this film,
and this poor pizza guy, who just is trying to get his pizza hut, you know, from point A to point B,
and he comes across a street full of racers, and the guy who's, like, the pizza guy is probably 45,
and the guy who's, like, figuring out where the cops are with the radio is probably 20
and he's like, what are you doing?
And the guy's like, you know, roads close.
You have to find another road, pizza boy.
He didn't need that.
It was rude, but it was kind of sick.
And then the pizza boy's like you damn street racists
I just liked it I just liked it I liked it you know and I guess this is I know I'm entering
like a curmudgeon phase I think I'm aging rapidly because I crave life you know like this movie
it features cell phones it doesn't feature anything they're
reading a map at one point in this movie and I'm watching that and I'm like this is fucking
impressive they're finding out where a heist is happening from a paper map and also like it's
a lever to be on your phone and drive but what it was totally okay to have a full paper map out in
front of you and drive?
And I think about life was more complicated then in so many ways and worse,
but also, you know, I fantasize about it.
I think about the simplicity of it.
Like, honestly, mostly I think about the time left to think your own thoughts.
I think it's so, I just don't do that anymore.
And so there's something about the pizza boy, there's something about the paper map,
there's these phones. I see this movie and I think,
God damn, what I wouldn't give to be there
knowing how easily distracted and mushy my brain will be.
Well, ironically, I think by the sounds of it,
the thing that you are feeling so much warmth towards
is a slower pace of life,
and where that has been represented in a film called
The Fast and the Furious. whare tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō tō with this reflection. It's been at times an arduous journey, but mostly an absolute pleasure
to spend the year with you and the Toretto family.
You've come for me and at me
quite a number of times during this season.
Obviously you are like a regrettable piece of shit
and I think your moral compass has kind of gone skew-iff.
I think you've lost your way a little bit lately.
I think you're very lucky for the family you have around you
and I would hold them close.
I would hold them dear.
That's how I feel about you.
And saying that, it's been a delight bro.
I'm not too big to admit that when you're right, I'm not going to remember that.
Hey put it there mate, what a journey, what an adventure.
Thank you so much.
What a season. We're so much. What a season.
We're all done, we're free.
To go to our version of Mexico.
Watching movies once.
No, our version of Mexico is Tokyo.
We always talk about Tokyo. 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.