The Worst Idea Of All Time - DirCom: Gods Not Dead
Episode Date: April 30, 2018This was originally recorded and released for our Patreon supporters in May 2017.Sadly, the writers, director, producers or anyone else associated with God's Not Dead were not available for this audio... commentary for Guy Montgomery and Tim Batt from The Worst Idea of All Time podcast have stepped in.This 2014 Christian film (currently 14% on Rotten Tomatoes) features an all star cast including Lois and Clark's Superman: DEAN CAIN vs. Hercules: The Legendary Adventure's KEVIN SORBO. It's Faith vs. Atheism, Guy vs. Tim, Son of Krypton vs. Son of Zeus. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You prayed and believed your whole life and here you are.
Explain that to me.
What do you say to people that are offended by your show?
Because you pray to Jesus in every episode.
If we disown him, he'll disown us.
When a 12 year old watches his mother dying of cancer,
a God who would allow that is not worth believing in.
Life is really a tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury and signifying nothing.
Pureflex presents God's Not Dead.
Hello.
We've got so many credit sequences to go through.
You could have used that as the reveal.
A freestyle releasing production.
Yeah.
Yeah, I didn't really yes and myself.
You're right.
Yeah, don't worry.
I'm going to be having a few of these little coughs to begin with,
and then I'll be right as rain.
Okay, very good.
I like that you scheduled them in at the top.
Yeah.
Hello, welcome along, Patreon subscribers, to a director's commentary of God's Not Dead, presented by
myself, Guy Montgomery.
And myself, Tim Batt.
We're taking a departure for another statement-oriented title film.
We are your friends.
To this statement-titled film, God film god's not dead yeah the emphasis is
all wrong hey when i say like that god's not dead god's not dead god's not dead god's not dead
who's not dead god's not dead no he's still with us and if you check in with uh the film god's not
dead you'll see he's his spirit lives uh well and true in the body of this genial white gentleman
who is strolling the university campus with his girlfriend.
I love that effect.
Such a good psych out at the start.
The credit sequence that says God's dead
and then like some sort of street graffiti artist
spray painted not in the middle of those words.
Ordinarily we would rope in the director and writer
and or producer
of the film
but we couldn't get them
at such short notice
unfortunately
so you've got
old Timbo and Guy Guy
filling in
yeah
for this special audio
event
and can I say
to those of you
who chose this film
thank you so much
it is
well this is the second time
I'm going to have seen it recently and i don't mind
it at all yeah yeah i'm not dreading this one but i mean there's so much fun to be had if you're
watching along which i mean do you there's no real need to there's no right or wrong way to do it but
it is it's just a very silly movie with a point to to make yeah the point is god's not dead so if
you've seen the movie
poster then you're probably halfway there yeah and if you're looking at the movie now there's a
young woman in an equab uh and her traditional muslim stereotype of a father driving her to
university yeah uh and if you're wondering whether or not ala is or is not dead uh in the world of
this film god's not dead we're not going to address that. No.
But if we were,
Yeah.
we would say,
well, actually,
there'll be a spoiler if we said it so early.
But rest assured,
that question is answered
later on in the film.
Is it?
Yeah.
Okay.
When the young Muslim girl
renounces her faith for Christianity.
Oh, we are getting ahead of oneself,
aren't we?
Oh, yeah.
So, look, there's a lot to like about this film and there's no real need to be watching the film while you're listening to this. Cause
we are going to give you all of the information you need to know. Um, in the first opening moments
of this flick, we're going to hear the entirety of a news boys song uh a christian rock band who we're going
to see referenced both visually and out loud many times and then we get to meet them later on in the
movie in fact if this is a vehicle for anything i wouldn't say it's for christianity i would say it
is specifically for that christian rock band the news boys who hail from australia our cousins to
the northwest yeah that's all fair and for those of you who are curious as to the
plot the young muslim woman who i mentioned earlier on in the director's commentary she's
removed her knee quab as soon as she she stepped onto campus here at hadley university how'd you
get the name of the university they wrote it down on a sign god that's and they got it in in shot
excuse my blaspheming so now we've got our film's hero,
and I think his name's Josh,
all-American boy with an all-Christian haircut.
I went and got my haircut cut
in between the first and second watches of this film
because I looked at Josh and I was like,
I'm getting dangerously close to that boy's haircut
because I haven't had a trim in a while.
So I went out, rushed out, got a haircut.
You won't believe me, but this is 100 true got a haircut
um for this audio i didn't know i didn't know the reasoning behind the haircut was you're afraid that
you were probably if you're worried that you are picking up on characteristics either physical or
mental of the characters from this film does that not suggest that maybe the message got through to
you and you're renowned you're afraid the wrong message got through to me. I'm running away from the intended message.
It's the same reason I got engaged.
We were watching We Are Your Friends so much.
I was like, I've got to do the opposite of what these guys are doing.
That's a quick shout out to my fiance.
What a great foundation for a long and loving marriage.
You're a charmer from the old school, Tim Bette.
I love the shit out of you for it.
We've been introduced to such a diverse cast.
We've got a Chinese guy who never jokes about anything.
Can you please just go back quickly and pause on the shot of the bumper?
No, it won't work.
Oh, because we've got to rental.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
It'll work for that.
But if people are syncing up to what we're
watching it's not gonna work if we so um but the bumper stickers are american humanist meat is
murder and i heart evolution yes and this is the atheist character whose clock also isn't working
yeah because god does not like atheists clocks to to work. She wakes up in the morning, it's flashing midnight.
Which means either it's half past flashing midnight or her clock's lost power through the night and her alarm didn't wake her when it should have.
Or it's midday.
Okay, now we're getting into what this film's really about.
I'm so excited because this is the first on-screen appearance of Superman.
You may know him as Dean Cain.
Any Maria Bamford fans will know him as
being her love interest in lady dynamite and i mean it's just so good to see superman back on
the screen reprising his role after um more than a decade away from it and also going up against
and i'm sorry this is a bit of a spoiler hercules himself this is the battle
that comic book fans have wanted to see for generations forget justice league forget super
friends forget whatever that batman superman one was called batman the dawn of justice forget
what was the marvel one called the avengers the impact of you listing off all the movies to forget
When you've already forgotten most of the ones you're trying to remember
It lessens the impact
I think one's called The Enforcers or something
The one that's got Jessica Jones in it
Forget that
This is the goods
This is what we want to see
We want to see Superman versus Hercules
Son of Crichton
No, wait
What's the planet called? Krypton Son of Krypton versus Son of Crichton. Yeah. No, wait. What's the planet called?
Krypton.
Son of Krypton versus son of Zeus.
That's right.
And more excitingly, the battle plays out not through physicality and the powers which they wield through their shared mythology.
Yes.
But it plays out philosophically.
It plays out through thoughts and emotional actions.
Through the mind.
The toughest muscle of all.
A lot of people call...
What's the love muscle?
Your dick?
Well, for me, it's the mind.
Is it your dick?
You just set me up for that.
The love muscle.
I haven't heard the term before.
I would assume it's your dick.
Yeah, you...
Would that mean...
Maybe that's just reflective of my upbringing
with two older brothers
and a public school education.
But if someone says love must,
I'm going straight to the genitals.
And why would...
Where do you go with that?
Do you think heart, maybe?
Well, I thought because, you know,
people all across the gender spectrum
might like to have a love muscle, so I thought maybe the tongue across the gender spectrum might like to have a love muscle.
So I thought maybe the tongue is the love muscle.
But then I'm like, I think I'm overthinking it.
I think it's got to be a dick.
No, I like it being the tongue, actually.
Anyway, we've got...
Most people have a tongue.
Yeah.
Even Jebediah Springfield had a silver one.
He sure did.
Everyone gets one.
Jebediah Springfield was a silver one. He sure did. Everyone gets one. Jeff Adias Springfield was a bad man.
So many adventurers
and colonists were.
Yeah.
But he did deprive
the good people of
what eventually became
Shelbyville,
the ability to marry
their cousins.
We now return
to the plight of our hero,
a young Christian man
who was about to come up against the
weight of the intellect possessed by young hercules a man who's renounced christianity
to become an atheist uh on account of probably a quibble with his father zeus i guess yeah that
would be the natural conclusion to draw from you seeing kevin sorbo on the screen where he
fucking belongs ladies and gentlemen.
Look at that.
Look at that hairline.
Look at that facial hair.
Look at the jaw.
Take it in.
Can I say this?
One of the most satisfying elements
of Kevin Sorbo's performance in this movie,
God's Not Dead,
is that he is a very Christian man
in real life himself, right?
I don't know.
I don't know if that's true.
You keep saying it as if it's true.
I've looked it up on Wikipedia
between saying it's true and reconfirming it's true.
Right.
And so he knows,
because the character he plays is a very smug,
atheist philosophy professor.
A right old 4chan poster of a man.
Exactly.
He starts to move by reading,
with the very clean handwriting of an 11-year-old,
very neat 11-year-old handwriting,
a list of philosophers,
all who he reveals to be atheists.
And so he just relishes the role of playing
smoke atheist professor.
And you can tell he relishes it because he knows full well
that he's Trojan horsing the message of Christianity
inside of his role.
Yeah.
And it's so nice to see someone having that much fun on screen.
It's kind of his version of being able to play a villain right for most people undertaking this role be
like yeah okay whatever the character's an atheist you got it no problem that's cool he's smug okay
got it but in this case it's like the equivalent of um someone who beats people up you know if
you're a pacifist yeah it's like yeah i'll undertake that i'll be the villain i'll be your
villain said kevin sorbo knowing full well that he was a small cog in the machine of a christian
i don't want to say propaganda movie but it's not the most skillful storytelling to prove a point
i've ever seen but that being said i tell you what guy brought this up on our first watch this is a
movie with a point which makes a refreshing departure
absolutely from the films we normally have to digest and i will take this opportunity to
reaffirm our thanks to our patreon people for picking this film for us undoubtedly so here we
have uh kevin sorbo laboring over the fact that uh several philosophers who are quite well known
are atheists.
He's about to make everyone,
and this is where the movie gets its title from,
his challenge to the class is to get everyone to write down on a piece of paper, God is dead.
God's not.
Oh, yeah, God is dead.
Sorry.
That's right.
You got me.
And sign their name so that once everyone in the class agrees,
he has to have unanimous consent from the students
to just gloss over that bit of the curriculum
where they talk about if religion's valid or not.
Exactly.
So he's like, if everyone could just sign this bit of paper,
we can get on to the goods.
Exactly.
And now we meet yet more characters.
This movie, what it likes to do early up
is just lob a lot of different people at you,
you know, as though their stories aren't going to overlap.
It's a real hallmark of films that we seem to watch hey just like here's a guy okay don't pay too
much attention because here's another guy here's another guy you know what's a good movie whiplash
whiplash is a good movie it's about three people i watched that on the plane recently really intense
yeah like a little while ago but the whole movie i was leaning closer and closer and closer into
my screen you've seen it before no oh yeah what a treat it really was i really like the airport that they used for this film they
couldn't afford to get an actual airport it's very clearly just the front of a small hotel
lobby absolutely i don't even know if they could print a sign saying international airport i think
they photoshopped onto some like it's amazing what you can do with sound if you just have the sound
of a plane going overhead while you shoot in a hotel lobby,
you're like, oh, yeah, I get it.
Okay, I see what you're doing.
The people we were just introduced to were Reverend Dave, I want to say.
So unimportant.
And I never caught the other gentleman's name who, I'm not sure what country he's from,
but he's got an accent which suggests somewhere in Africa, maybe the Caribbean, but I think Africa.
I would agree.
And he's a missionary who's come to visit his old friend, a fellow pastor in town,
and they're going to go to some theme parks somewhere in Florida.
Oh, is that?
I didn't even pick that up on the first watch.
Is that what's going on?
Yeah, that's why they're catching up.
They're going to theme parks?
Yeah.
That's so weird.
Yeah.
They're two fully grown men.
Yeah, but they just love theme parks, man.
Not as much as God, though.
Well, God loves theme parks.
You know that the world is just God's.
They say it's just God's theme park.
That would make so much sense to me.
That would make an...
Because, like, you know how we play the Sims?
Yeah.
That's just God.
Yeah.
Only he doesn't, like, gloss over all the nudie bits.
Yeah, exactly. He wants to get in there. Yeah. Maybe he's't gloss over all the nudie bits. Yeah, exactly.
He wants to get in there.
Yeah.
Maybe he's got his own version of nudie bits, though.
Because does it ever occur to you that it's weird that we're all kind of still here,
just driving inside the lines and not stabbing each other on the streets, even though we could?
Maybe that's God's version of censoring our genitals.
He's put some hard and fast rules in where a few people will go hog wild
but on the whole we all kind of follow the rules no because the the blanket rule on genitals and
the sims yeah it's universal yeah there's no exceptions within it unless i think some guy
made a mod yeah anyway i guess it's like made a mod Metamod, metamod, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cyberkinetic cock.
Shout out to Ray Columbus, New Zealand musical icon, late and great.
Here's the showdown that sets the tone for the rest of the film.
The Christian pupil, the atheist philosophy professor,
two weighty intellects going toe-to-toe for the first of many times,
all merely a red herring, a subplot in the build-up to the great battle
between young Hercules versus Superman,
son of Krypton.
Son of Krypton versus son of Zeus
versus Christianity
versus Josh
versus a Chinese gentleman
who's constantly on the phone
to his father
who lives in a car
versus
Islam
versus
making a movie
there are other elements
there's lovers
come and go
and there's a few women
scorned in this film
well they're not really scorned
they're
yeah one of them's scorned
scorned
scorned
I hath scorned a woman
I hath scorned you
I don't know Tim
what did you think
of watching this movie
the first time around
I was in there
you know
I'm still watching it now
Kevin Sorbo does do a good job
i think of acting in this role because um the script is very like you know what this thing's
watchable yeah this thing's watchable you guys and we're coming from a pretty um funky yardstick
which is watching we are your friends 43 times but i mean this is still they've got a purpose yeah seeking to make it happen through this film
they've got a point they're trying to explore it it's what kind of freaks me out about it though
is i'm fearful that this is how some christians particularly in america view
the world or at least like the atheist west that everyone is out to fucking hammer the
crap out of them for their beliefs yeah just string them up and make an example of them
like kevin sorbo yeah you know well can't we all just get a bong hey who's this guy
i'm your cool uncle steve yeah that Yeah that is classic cool uncle Steve
I understand why you think that Tim
And I think the reasoning that you say is sound
Because they did make that
They made that exact movie
In this movie
Yeah
In this film
You're fearful of the point
Because the movie illustrates the point perfectly
Which isn't a coincidence
Oh
Okay sorry I may have misspoken
What I meant is like
I'm concerned that that's
how they think the world is that we live in that that anyone who's atheist is just out to
fuck you up if you're a christian well the people who made this movie clearly do think that and this
is they've captured that moment yeah they have they have in the eyes of these filmmakers if
you're christian you're good but you're constantly getting shit on from everyone, if you're Christian, you're good, but you're constantly getting shit on from everyone else.
If you're atheist, you're a
smug sack of shit who secretly
does believe in God, but you don't want to
see. If you're a
woman, you're at the behest of men
for most of your life.
And if you're
Muslim, you're
incorrect. Until you figure out
you want to be Christian.
Yeah.
Can I say this also?
I don't know if it's, and I don't want to say,
not all Christian relationships,
but this relationship looks so shit right from the outset.
Hashtag not all Christian relationships, guy.
But it does look awful.
They've been together for six years.
This woman is perfectly cast.
She's such a good actor because you hate her, i hate her let me own that let me let me use i statements i
fucking hate her she's so um you know she embodies that uh what's the word i'm looking for that kind
of nagging wife archetype those are the words you're looking for.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And just very self-righteous as well.
She refuses.
And also, the script's quite unnecessarily harsh on her.
She doesn't want her boyfriend to defend Christianity's honor
in the philosophy
philosophy class because he'll risk looking like a fool and not getting his um it's more yeah more
that he jeopardizes his grades which kind of jeopardizes their whole future together because
he wants to be a lawyer and it's it's tough you know and the portrayal of this atheist journalist
is that all atheist journalists are sneaky yeah like, like just an angry, conniving bitch
who throws a cell phone the wrong way
in front of everyone's mouth.
Sneaky, incompetent, and with a broken clock.
Now, this dude, whose name I forget,
Willie something,
he's the actual guy from Duck Dynasty
because I suspected he was,
so I Googled it and it's actually him.
That's his actual wife as well.
Is it?
Yeah.
Did you look that up?
Yeah.
Good stuff.
And he comes across in this movie
looking like a dear sweet angel with the star-spangled bandana
that's so good he literally does have that guys if you could see what i can see you'd appreciate
that gag and what more importantly i'd like to reemphasize tim's point that this journalist
uh she does hold her phone facing the wrong way.
And you can tell that's a director's choice.
Can't stress that enough.
Because she does it every time.
And the bottom half of her hand is covering the microphone.
So it would be impossible for her to transcribe any of this interview.
That's so true.
They're plotting the idea that all atheism-based blogging and journalism is shonky and made up from half-truths and lies.
She runs a blog, which I think she calls The New Left.
And she keeps going, it's whatever my name is from The New Left here.
I want to ask you some questions.
She hasn't pre-arranged any interviews.
And all the Christians are always like, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
Let's hear her out.
Hard out.
Which is great.
And I think a very charitable and Christian thing to do.
So they talk to Billy Duck Dynasty, and she's just like, why are you murdering ducks, you unspeakable fuck?
That's the other thing is that they've valued the waters too much.
Because if you want to go for Christianity, that's great.
If you want to go for vegetarianism, that's great as well.
Or veganism, whatever it is.
But you can't split the focus here.
Pick your battles.
Yeah.
Because they really just crowbar that in.
They have a sticker on the bumper and they're like, oh, we better thread this through.
And it never comes back really, is it?
Yeah.
But it does make a beautiful connection between like, you know, Christianity and the red-blooded
beef-eating American, which frankly is what I aspire to be.
That's why I'm trying to get my citizenship.
I like the sound of this Mr. Bat
You want to get over to America
You want to get your feet on the ground
I've been told that if I can consume a 72 ounce steak
Inside two hours by myself
I will be granted citizenship
Who
In the Americas
Where have you come across this offer
A guy told me
A guy
On Venice
In Los Angeles Did he look trustworthy for? A guy told me. A guy? On Venice.
Venice Beach in Los Angeles. In California, yeah.
Did he look trustworthy? He did to me.
Did he have any documentation? Like, did he have
the contract which said that you'd get citizenship?
He had written a lot of notes.
Yeah? Yeah. Is that your question?
Were they typed up? Is that the question you're
asking? Were they, like, printed on? No, no.
He'd written down a lot of notes that
he carried around with him in a shopping bag.
And did he articulate this point pretty
clearly to you? He couldn't
have been clearer. There's no opportunity for
misunderstanding here. I don't want you to be
ripped off by a shyster, Tim. Unless
the smoking pipe
that he was holding had sort of
some influence on what he was saying. I can't imagine
the two things are linked,
but I'm putting two and two together here and getting four.
Oh man, this is so good, this moment.
You take the reins, bud.
You can grab it.
You relished it when we watched the film.
We've got a young Muslim woman
who's attending this university
which seems to be just infested with Christianity.
That's unfair. Oh, the dude's parked in the disabled spot too that's so rough this i think her dad might be syrian maybe um and where he's waiting in the car for her she's putting her knee quad
back on so the inference is that she wears it only when he's in kind of eye line um but she
doesn't sort of her faith isn't strong enough to keep it on outside of that. So look, she's putting herself back in her kneecap and this blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman comes up to her.
All-American track star called Valerie shows up.
I'm sure.
You're so pretty.
You don't need to wear that.
As if that's the reason why all the women who do wear knee quads in the Islam world,
in the Muslim world,
they're just like,
oh, I'm having a terrible face day.
I'll chuck one of these on, shall I?
It's about modesty, man.
It's the all-American solution.
It's a cultural modesty from their customs and religion.
It's not because they feel ugly that day.
You fucking Americans. Anywho. customs and religion it's not because they feel ugly that day you fucking americans any who's it's kind of low-hanging fruit yeah we shouldn't don't let but don't let all the
heavy-handed uh sort of misfires throughout this film confuse you because they're they're
intent is pure yeah their heart is true yeah clear. Clear eyes, open crosses, can't convert.
Yeah.
And this dad, you know, he's trying his best.
He's giving his daughter a speech about how he understands how hard it is for her to be a Muslim woman existing in this world.
You've got to feel bad for him at this point in the movie, though, because he doesn't know that his character is not the hero of this film.
Yeah, that's true.
Neither do we as the audience. So we're all losing soon. I think we've got a suspicion that he might is not the hero of this film. Yeah, that's true. Neither do we as the audience.
So we're all losing soon.
I think we've got a suspicion that he might not be the hero of the story.
You and I know that.
But he does have a nice line in there where he says,
I know how hard it is for you to be part of a world that you can see but not touch.
And what you'll notice the filmmakers are doing now
is they're slowly bringing together all of the loose characters.
I was in a world that I can see
but can't touch once.
It was Legoland when I was a kid.
Mum was like,
you keep your hands to yourself.
I was like,
oh, that looks so good.
That's pretty brutal.
Would you have peeled bricks off
or did you just want to feel the walls?
Oh, I just feel everything.
It's the same, isn't it?
Yeah.
Now we're in a church.
Yeah, so they've slowly started
weaving together the stories
that will play out
over the two hours it takes
for them to convince you that atheism is bogus.
This is the alternative title of this film.
And this pastor is too hot.
Oh, we love to laugh.
The atheist journalist typing up a shitty interview.
Oh, we glossed over that scene, though.
We're in a church, and Josh, our man who has taken up the mantle
to defend Christianity against Hercules, son of Zeus,
has gone to his local pastor to seek some guidance
because Kevin Sorbo, son of zeus has laid down a challenge he
says listen mate i'm going to give you three lessons and if you can convince the student body
that um there's any validity to your christian beliefs and that that you know god might exist
what is the reward he's kind of he's kind of like i'll forgive you or something for holding up the class.
If he proves that he does exist.
Yeah, like what is the reward for Josh?
The way that young Hercules sees it is Josh will never win.
Yeah.
He's just like, I'm going to allow you space to make your case, but I'm going to shit on you every single time.
It's not a fair debate.
No, it's ridiculous.
It's for distraction. it's for destruction it's
like a four it's a straw man argument it's a 45 six year old college professor who also just
happens to be the son of zeus debating theology with a fucking freshman student a deeply christian
freshman and who by the way isn't open to the idea that he could be wrong so both of the like
both characters are wrong in their argument yeah but hercules is being a smug son of a bitch about
it at least josh has got some uh humility well the smugness qualifies his earnest conviction god i
hope his name's josh i'm not getting this wrong the whole time i tell you what i delight in the
fact that his pastor whose name i think is dave he looks like a dave he also looks
like the paddle pop lion and also like chad kroger from nickelback look like the paddle pop lion
battle pop was a very good ice cream uh on a stick very cheap sort of one dollar option you could get
they've got it in america no i think so i'm not so sure. It's one of those, you know, straight. Chocolate, rainbow, rainbow, rainbow.
That's so good.
That's like an ally.
I'm a rainbow.
How have I not heard that before?
Because it was a mistake.
By the way, this is really great.
So there's a poster for the Newsboys gig that's in the background here.
Okay, what does it say?
And if you look closely, it comes into focus at one point.
It says it's free entry at 7pm.
Free and 7pm.
Oh, it does say that.
Good spotting, Monty.
God, you've got sharp eyes.
You are used to looking
at backgrounds of films, eh?
I really am.
You are used to a film presenting,
hey, this is the thing in focus
and the foreground.
Please pay attention to this
and you're disregarding
those instructions. Absolutely. But he he bragged so soon he'll show
up to meet his he's reading the uh the parts of the bible that he was told to by pastor dave
pastor paddle pop lion uh and he's gonna tell his girlfriend for their sixth anniversary he
got them tickets to this free concert i'm just like Doesn't she give them to him? No, he gives them to her.
Oh, right.
God, that's funny.
Before he gets in trouble for reading too many books.
It's like getting a mail order voucher for like a buy one get one hot dog and giving it to someone as a birthday present.
Like, I got you this.
It's like you didn't get me anything.
This is mailbox rubbish that you've repurposed.
It is Dave. Reverend Dave. He just sent him a text message josh did yeah what did the message say i wasn't even paying attention to it
so like josh went to reverend dave in the church he was like bo zeus is on my fucking ass about
getting this class converted and he's put me in charge of converting them. Give me a hand.
And Reverend Dave's like,
you want to read these following passages from scripture.
And then Josh is like,
the fuck, bro, that's not enough stuff.
Oh man, this is real.
Yeah.
This is real dramatic.
This is the,
they start pulling at the fabric of,
a loose thread on the fabric of atheism here
by giving the atheist character who has a
love interest in superman and a burgeoning career as an online journalist but they're together let
me say that yeah she's lois she's lois lane yeah she's a journalist who's with superman yeah but
that that's so true this movie is so much less interested than that, than convincing this atheist character
that she needs to be a Christian.
And the way they go about that
is they give her cancer.
But hey, hold on.
We're at a doctor's office.
Yeah, we're at a doctor's office.
And this doctor keeps calling her
and she keeps ignoring it.
Anyway, they give her cancer
and they take away her boyfriend
Yeah
And then she has to confront
Mortality
They're testing her
Like God tested Job
Yeah
She's a regular Job
Yeah
They're illusions
Don't have time for my illusions
So she's just found out the bad news
She's got cancer Her reaction to that is I don't have time for my illusions so she's just found out the bad news like she's got cancer her reaction to
that is i don't have time for cancer which frankly i can get on board with i actually i reckon if
someone first told me i had cancer i didn't suspect i had cancer i think i would have a similar reaction
in the state of shock i just but i don't have time for that yeah you know that's a very i think a
very human reaction i agree this film we want to be fair to the film
absolutely there are bits that i enjoy yeah this this woman's back josh's girlfriend and um josh
is reading a book and he's got books in the background of frame he's got books in his bag
he's got so many books this boy he's the most educated boy in america America. He's going to fight Zeus' son.
Zeus' son.
He's the most educated boy in America.
And he's going to make Zeus' son dumb.
Didn't stick the landing on that, eh?
Not at all.
Anyway, his girlfriend's, boom, free tickets.
And she is pumped.
And then they hug.
And then they go, definitely not fool around. I don't even know if there's a kiss on the lips in this movie. No, there's a boom, free tickets. And she is pumped. And then they hug. And then they go, definitely not fool around.
I don't even know if there's a kiss on the lips in this movie.
No, there's a kiss on the cheek, I think, at one point.
But they are very much not married.
And I think we all know what that means.
You wonder why their relationship's going off the rails.
Get some fucking.
Sexual tension climbing out every pore.
That's true.
He looks like he doesn't have a pube yet this clean shaven
Disney prince
Jesus Christ guy
he's got a bald
eagle baby
his cat's got claws
everybody
nothing on his balls
either
didn't realize we
were being joined
by the ghost of
Joan Rivers
over here
well what can I
say
not even close
oh R.I.P
R.I.P
to the great lady
truly the queen of sting.
Oh, we're still in the convo, you guys.
Just a heads up, everybody.
Now she's pissed off he's reading books.
He's like, I'm going to prove that God exists.
And she's like, it's going to be humiliating and you're not going to get to be a lawyer
and you're fucking up my life.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is the cut and thrust of her argument.
His argument, I think, is like, listen, I've got a moral duty as a Christian to uphold
my beliefs.
And hers is, just sign the fucking bit of paper. Yeah. His argument, I think, is like, listen, I've got a moral duty as a Christian to uphold my beliefs.
And hers is, just sign the fucking bit of paper.
Yeah. So it's a real, if you have studied ethical moral theory, it's a real Kant approach, Immanuel Kant, versus a sort of utilitarianism, which she represents.
Yeah, a can, if you will.
Kant.
Yeah.
It's Kant versus Kant. You will. Can't. Yeah. It's can versus can't.
You can sign the paper or I can't sign the paper.
Exactly.
God, you're good.
Thank you.
One of the greats, everybody.
Is she gone yet?
No, we're still in the convo.
That's okay.
How much more can we egg out?
Oh, okay.
They're smiling at each other again.
So he's sort of slightly relented?
No, she's still persuading him. Oh, she's saying sign the stupid paper. She's smiling as a other again. So he's sort of slightly relented. No, she's still persuading him.
Oh, she's saying, sign the stupid paper.
She's smiling as a sales technique.
We do have sound, but it's very quiet in our headphones.
It really is.
Very quiet.
Mainly so that we don't accidentally commit any copyright infringements.
That looks like a beautiful, nourishing hug.
What I wouldn't give for a hug like that from a couple like an all-american
Christian couple like that do you want both of them to hug you at the same time
you're like a little child was gently welcome into their embrace and then I
want to get a tiny little boner you want to get your love and they'll both they'll
both feel it against their leg and they'll look at me and they'll be like
what and then I'm so sorry this is this. You too. This is a lesson in human behavior and biology.
Here's an interesting plot wrinkle.
Pastor Dave.
Yes.
An unnamed pastor.
Yeah.
From parts unknown.
Africa?
This is him talking about going to theme parks, by the way.
Oh, yeah.
He's talking about seeing an undersea submarine.
I thought they were going to a national park, because they talk about parks a lot.
Oh, yeah, roller coaster.
Yeah, that's definitely not in a national park.
It's the 16th biggest roller coaster.
He's pumped about it.
Yeah, but they've decided to give Pastor Dave the character trait of not being able to start a car.
A strong offer from the filmmakers.
And they are not afraid to go back and drink from that well time and time again that's the whole point though it's the only thing preventing these two
from going to the theme parks is that he can't turn on a car yeah they never try someone else
yeah they don't think about getting a bus they don't think about getting a train or a flight
i'm pretty convinced he's doing it wrong the other pastor never attempts i know and neither does the
other guy who shows up they don't even call a mechanic i mean there's really no helping
this guy so they they're in his volvo his suv saves car in the world apparently so i gather
and he tries to turn it over he doesn't so he calls a rental company and that comes look we'll
pick this up later because we're back gabon to zeus's son hercules yeah we're
back in the lecture theater and i think uh the clues in the title everybody these these theaters
during this film really are treated as as a space for lecturing and they do you observe this later
on in the film they don't blow their load all at once they don't i didn't use that terminology. They don't... I blew myself.
I blew myself.
So he's not quite so secure
in his arguments
and he's not that confident
on his first bite of the apple, right?
Yeah.
Beautiful stare down there by Sorbo.
That is fucking vintage Sorbo.
That is quintessential Sorbo.
Yeah.
So now Josh fumbles around
his struggles.
He is watching some good Christian porn on his laptop,
which he has to hide from the fellow students.
No, that's not what's happening, guy.
You're being disingenuous and unfair to Josh.
I was going to do a gag about what constitutes Christian porn.
Oh, let's explore it.
Probably just regular porn, but they feel shame.
So he now starts his first argument,
which is pretty much built on the premise
that you can't prove there's not a God,
therefore there might be a God.
That's right.
His first foundational brick is,
I accept that Kevin Silber has told you all
you can't prove God,
but I'm here to tell you you can't unprove him.
And it's like, well, nah.
Yeah. Well, I guess that's actually can't unprove them. And it's like, well, nah. Yeah.
Well, I guess that's actually not a bad starting place.
And then they...
You know what fascinates me most of all?
There's a Lenovo notebook in this classroom
that gets a lot of screen time.
Why?
Lenovo's probably Christian tech.
They've got a lot of MacBooks, though,
so it's not like they've got some exclusive deal.
This is so good.
So Josh sets out on doing a bunch of lectures, and what they're obviously doing is aping of macbooks though so it's not like they've got some exclusive deal this is so good so josh sets
out on doing a bunch of lectures and what they're obviously doing is aping um like all the atheist
videos that are on youtube that are presentations about like look we've done carbon dating we know
how evolution works the earth is not 6 000 years old it's 13.7 million so this is like the filmmaker
billion uh the filmmakers are taking an opportunity to
try and answer all those through film yeah and they do they do a good job they did well look
they do a job with mixed results i would say very mixed results it'd be fair to say you didn't find
the movie quite as persuasive as i did though that's true i would say yeah like you're christian
now so i guess that's absolutely true so in that regard yeah and i agree with this point which is
more or less uh you can't say that god doesn't exist and then say the big bang happened yeah
that is that is his central that is an excellent summing up, Guy Montgomery,
of what Josh is just trying to articulate through his presentation.
If God's not real, then why did the Big Bang happen?
That's basically it.
Because there was apparently nothing and then everything.
And what he says is he goes, that would only happen.
He says the Big Bang is God's jizz is what he says.
He did.
He did say that he said
according to genesis god said let there be light and lots of famous people have said if there was
a supreme being who could create creation that's how it would happen therefore i'm right god's real
we're back with the paddle pop lion ladies and gentlemen yeah and he's out of um the car park
which is good he's got a roof over his head
which I'm happy to see
he's called the rental company
so he's going to just
get a different car
he has not taken any steps
to fix his
supposedly broken car
I find this
so agitating
and when you hear
the sound effect as well
I've never heard a car
make that
what they've clearly done
in post is layer
a bunch of different
car not working sounds together.
They're also trying to make it look like Pastor Dave, the Paddle Pop Lion's got a really busy schedule.
So far today, on the day he was going to go to the theme park, instead, now that he's in the office,
he has to meet two different groups of people and have lunch with someone
yeah huge
and then the other
unnamed pastor's like
oh it sounds like
you need a holiday
from doing anything
yeah
and he's not wrong
paddle pop line's
working so hard
getting those
getting those paddle pops
into the hands of kids
all over the world
you know streets exists
like all over the shop
but with different names.
And it's got a different name
everywhere.
Hearts somewhere?
Australia I think.
Is it Cornetto?
Or are they two different companies?
I think Streets owns Cornetto.
Yeah.
Cornetto.
God damn.
So much of this movie
exists in this lecture hall.
Yeah.
And then there's a good
little takedown of
Richard Dawkins which i
love you hate richard dawkins i don't really have an opinion on him but i love that i love that
obviously it's like one of the first because that would be the first reference point for any like
um smug entry-level atheist yeah absolutely the thing about dawkins is I think, like Richard Hitchkin.
Wait.
Christopher Hitchens.
Yes.
That's what I'm trying to say.
He was like a way, I think, more aggressive and full on dude.
But because he didn't have that entirely proper, posh English accent that Dawkins has got, he got like less shit for it.
And because he's dead as well.
And he was kind of a cooler dude.
He was a little bit more Bill Hicksy-ing.
Yeah.
He did, he was, he.
He was like a smoking, drinking.
His main.
Philosophical atheist.
He didn't think women were funny, I think was his main defect.
He had a lot of defects, dog.
He also hated Muslims.
Did he? Hated Islam. islam yeah we hated all religions but i think he's one of those dudes who specifically hated them but i mean hey look he's looked into
it a lot more than i so fuck i don't know maybe you know something i don't i don't know but i'll
tell you what dawkins always gets a rough time because while he's taking down the fundamental beliefs of Christianity,
it sounds like he's got to stick up his ass and a toffee apple in his mouth.
And it's just way easier to get madder at that dude and be like, fuck off, Poynter.
You're not the boss of me.
God is.
Exactly.
So on the back end of this argument being laid out by josh young hercules uh counters
that stephen hawking's exists uh and that is enough to take the wind out of joshua's sails
uh and that's i mean yeah they just they they get a um stephen hawking quote from something i can't
remember what it is but then josh accuses it of being guilty of circular logic there's like some
good attempts that i i know what they're up to i get it i get it but like you can't come away from
this film not thinking it's propaganda because you need it doesn't matter what the viewpoint is
they're trying to do the way in which they do it is like cool anyone who's wrong anyone who's like not on
the side of what we're trying to prove either has cancer or is ethically bankrupt and won't visit
their own mother who's suffering from dementia and uh we're just gonna fuck them up um and we're
gonna just like throw a lot of straw man arguments to you literally inside a
lecture hall but we're gonna do it with characters so it sounds more like a movie and a little bit
less like straight propaganda into your veins that's the great thing about it also but i mean
i am of course glossing over the fact that this film is really about zeus versus superman because
we're not quite into that bit yet because we haven't seen enough Dean Cain.
No.
Oh, this is good.
This is a hallway confrontation.
It turns out that atheists have remarkably fragile egos
and I guess having God for a dad
and being a demigod yourself,
you'd be confronting a few father-son issues.
Absolutely.
It's hard not to have a complex about that.
And so Hercules has pinned Josh in the hallway saying,
straight up, dude, you are not going to win this argument
because I am a lecturer and you are a freshman.
Hercules, by the way, he loves sophomores.
He hates freshmen and then they go away for a summer
and he's one of those teachers or professors
who when you come back after the first year,
he's like, I was just gassing you up for the first year.
I'm actually a real good fun guy
and we're going to be mates now.
And you're like,
nah, dude,
you're actually an asshole.
That's not how being,
like having relationships works.
And then when you become a senior,
he dates you.
Yeah.
This is the life cycle of Hercules.
It's soon to be revealed that Hercules
is fucking one of his former pupils.
Well, not just fucking her.
I think she lives with him.
I think they're together.
Yeah, but he treats her like dirt.
God, he does.
At this point in their relationship, he does.
He's such a baddie, everyone.
The main atheist in this film is such a baddie.
There is a huge confrontation brewing between Josh and his terrible Christian girlfriend.
That he can't have sex with.
Oh, God.
Do you know how easy this would be to resolve if you guys could fuck and then have a chat afterwards?
Do you know how good the sex between these two would be
if they decided to just throw it all away after this?
But no.
Six years, he does one thing that she disagrees with.
I guess the message is that her faith is weak.
I don't know if it's weak.
It's just that she doesn't have to prove anything.
I'm kind of on her side in some ways when you frame it like that.
Because her whole thing is, just sign the fucking paper.
It doesn't mean anything.
You know, like, if you believe enough in your faith,
then why do you need to not sign a bit of paper?
It's bigger than him.
Yeah, I know.
He's a messenger.
Yeah, he thinks he is.
And he's doing a disservice
to all the other pupils in the classroom
if he neglects his Christian duty.
Ironically, I think that's called having a God complex.
Like your ego is so out of control
that you think you're imbued
with all this responsibility.
There's definitely an element of this.
Are you kidding me?
Josh is like,
I'll get up in front of the,
I'll fucking.
Josh is Jesus, by the way.
Just so we're all clear,
Josh is supposed to be, he's set up to be jesus in this film and i don't know my biblical references
well enough to tell you who kevin sorbo is representing kind of the devil based on his
facial hair but i'm sure there's someone like ponch's pilot or something that he's actually
supposed to embody but josh very much is supposed to or maybe moses i guess i don't know he's like
he's a messiah but he the
woman flocked to him and he has the most useless boner in the world yeah his love muscle's not
getting any work at all this bit makes me sad wait oh no this isn't the bit but this is what
sets it up so our young muslim heroine um is walking home she's listening to music on an ipod
mini haven't seen one of those in a few years it's a nano dog no it's got a screen it's a mini Is walking home She's listening to music On an iPod Mini
Haven't seen one of those
In a few years
Nah it's not a mini
It's a nano dog
No it's got a screen
It's a mini bro
Oh wait shuffle
No you're right
Sorry it is a nano
You're dead right
Yeah boy
God damn
Haven't seen one of those
In a while
Did it take you back
Seeing that
Yeah it does
She's listening to
Christian music
And she's about to
Change it to listen
To some Christian
Description
Oh no It would be a real shame If someone in her family Found out that she She's listening to Christian music and she's about to change it to listen to some Christian scripture. Oh, no.
It'd be a real shame if someone in her family found out that she'd secretly been cheating on Allah with G-O-D.
Oh, say his name again.
God.
They have set this up very pornographically.
We're looking at her on her bed.
I actually love how they've done this.
I don't think it was 100% intentional,
but her younger brother's in the house,
and she's sort of babysitting him, I guess,
but she just got home from school.
It looks like he's playing on a calculator, by the way.
It fucking does, eh?
One of those five-in-one games.
And so she's on her bed, eyes closed,
back on the bed,
listening to Christian scripture,
and they've set it up perfectly
like she's watching porn, and the little brother just opens the door and they've set it up perfectly like she's watching
porn and the little brother just like opens the door and comes in and catches her doing it and
it's the most shameful thing that could happen yeah and it's also very high stakes as we later
find out it's a fucking great metaphor for masturbation though eh listening to corinthians
well there's your christian porn that's what we were talking about just before oh now we know
yeah it's getting that ipod the movie's the movie's not afraid to ask and answer questions Well, there's your Christian porn. That's what we were talking about just before. Oh, now we know.
Yeah.
It's getting that iPod menu you still got.
The movie's not afraid to ask and answer questions, which I love.
Nano.
What is that?
What did we decide it was?
You said it was a nano.
I said it was a nano.
It's a nano.
I trust you.
And it's pretty much a very stressful time to be this young woman now.
Maybe I'm being a horndog, but it feels like all the shots of her paints are in quite a sexually suggestive light.
You're absolutely right.
Superman is about to reveal his true colours.
Oh, boy.
And they are all
gold, red and blue, baby,
because he is a hero
not to be trifled with.
Gold, red and blue
is such a powerful statement
because you've swapped out
one of the American flag colours
for gold,
so it's like
he's mainly American
except when it counts
he's all about that dollar
we made it slightly better
so they're having dinner
this is um
atheist report
this is Lois Lane
and Superman
sitting down
to tuck into some
five star food
Superman okay
Clark Kent
has been promoted
to partner
at his law firm
Lois Lane
diagnosed with cancer
and still with a broken clock.
They both are very excited to share their news.
How will it play out?
Time will tell.
Wow, except if the clock doesn't start working soon.
Am I right?
The scene will still happen,
but we won't know how long it took.
That's true.
I don't usually laugh at people having cancer
and nor may I ever again,
but it's just, you know know the way that this plays out
is superman says could you not have told me another day could you could this not have waited
till tomorrow she rightly outraged because lois lane is a fiery reporter independent clever Clever, vivacious, hungry for the truth,
and turning every stone for the bright, shiny light of facts.
Superman, however, does not believe in the concept of love.
He actually gives a confusing speech here.
I get it.
They're trying to paint him as a hyper-capitalist,
and he's just like, hey, hey listen you broke the contract we had inferring that uh the contract they had is that they were going to have a great life together she was going to be a famous blogger and he was going to be a big shot
lawyer and no one would ever get sick which is it's insane to me how obviously to each their own
how obviously capitalist he is like his entire core belief system runs in like
contrary to everything
that her blog represents
yeah
I don't know how
oh that's a good point
I don't know how
she's overlooked
these ethics
yeah
you know
all the way until now
when he reveals himself
to be the biggest
arsehole it's possible
to be
but they are both
united by their atheism
do you know my thought
when I watched that
was fuck
that sucks for her
because she's going to have to pay for that bottle of champagne
That is exactly what went through my head too
Yeah
So Superman walks out on the mail
Not what we're supposed to be paying attention to
But he bailed and it's like
Dog that wine will not be cheap
Yeah you know that's going to be expensive
And you're on a bloggers wage
What do you make $7 a day
And this is a beautiful part of the movie by Pure Flix, Christian Netflix.
I love the production company.
It's called Pure Flix, where they mishandle diversity in the film.
Yeah, I would say it's a real fumble of the ball.
They introduced a Chinese character who they sort of just treat as a sort of someone who they can filter questions
through, someone they can convert really. Another win for the Western world as the way
of Christianity convinces those from as far away as the East, the Orient, that it's the
right way. He's probably the most likable um character in the film though actually i've forgotten his name
but this kid is cool and he stands up to his dad later in the film which i'm always a fan of i mean
so does the muslim woman but she will get to it yeah we'll get to it i don't want to put
cats before horses here he's got comedy chops too yeah yeah absolutely like for his delivery there's a
line that the asian actor delivers where someone's like are you joking and i think he says i'm
serious always yeah it's perfect timing that's very funny yeah that's right but it's perfect
it's a perfect performance by the actor for a line that is written for the very express purpose of communicating a cliche.
Yeah.
So you've got to respect his professionalism.
You've got to respect that.
He took a shiny turd and turned it into gold.
And he's got a dope vest on, which I'm always appreciative of.
You don't wear any vests yourself, Tim.
I'm not a vest man
but you like people with the confidence to wear them it's not necessarily confidence it's just i
find them a bit preppy i tell you for myself i love this character uh rental car driver
aspiring amateur uh actor now he's in shit to the point where i actually thought he was a stand-up
comedian he's got an amazing voice this guy from the rental company I actually thought he was a stand-up comedian. He's got an amazing voice, this guy from the rental company.
And he's a very confident performer.
Like, he's a good actor.
But he seems like a character actor who's been in tons of films.
He does a bit.
And he's just a fucking breath of fresh air into this very earnest film.
I would happily follow him away from this car park all the way to his audition for the role of someone in Death of a Salesman.
That's right, yeah.
Yeah, he reveals that he's late for an audition at one point for like a Amtram...
Death of a Salesman production.
Death of a Salesman.
And it would be so much fun.
It's sort of, I feel like he's a glimpse of a mighty wind.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
That's dead on.
You know, if we follow
him we're gonna go all the way to the audition hall for waiting for guffman yeah but i'd settle
for best in show you know you could call him the the christian fred willard which means he probably
didn't get caught masturbating in a cinema that's probably more likely fred will i god i miss seeing him i haven't seen a movie that has
a minute in a while and i'm missing his face he is so good he's so funny god damn that guy is good
yeah oh man i feel like he was really hiding his light under a bushel in the american pie
franchise and i get why he kept doing it because you got to pay the bills no is who oh wait
I'm thinking of Jim
Zitt you think of
Eugene Levy I am I'm
confusing the two
because they're always
in the same movie
Fred Willard but I
know who Fred Willard
is as well see I love
Fred Willard yeah
everything I love I
was thinking of him
when I said I loved
him I meant it I see
but then I got
confused with Eugene
Levy with the American
Pie thing yeah but I
think they are both in
American Pie anyway aren aren't they?
The first one.
It's possible.
Anything's possible.
I don't remember.
Anyway, the Paddle Pop Lion got another car and it won't start either because God's testing him.
That scene took about six minutes.
And if you're an atheist and you're young Hercules, you also get to have the world's biggest sink in your house.
Oh my God.
Can I tell you about this sink, ladies and gentlemen?
Think of the biggest sink you've ever seen in your life triple it that's the sink we're dealing with also I just
realized there's a new relationship element at play the romantic partner of Hercules is also
Superman's sister look yes yes, yes. That's right.
I was just trying to connect all the dots.
You know in your head when people are like,
it's my brother's wife's cousin's dog's sister.
And you're like, okay.
And you're trying to map it out in your head and follow the dots.
That's what I was doing just then.
The sister of the dog.
The cogs were turning.
Yeah.
She's a real bitch.
I like Superman in this.
I like him because he's got one of those phone cases that is also a portable charger.
Oh, does he?
Remember when those were all the rage?
Like a, what are they called?
Movi movie?
Yeah, exactly like that.
Something.
Old Captain Nerdy Books is carrying a stack of books.
I didn't notice this before.
This is the character from the lecture theater. Yeah, no kidding. She's one of the students. She's a stack of books. I didn't notice this before. This is the character from the lecture theater.
Yeah, no kidding.
She's one of the students.
She's a librarian.
Yep.
And they don't have a computerized checkout system,
which baffles me.
No, they don't.
We will probably be the last generation to know about that.
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Stamp card system in, like, school libraries.
Unless they deem it interesting enough to teach.
How could you? How could you?
Does that mean that the Dewey Decimal System will be gone?
No, because that's how you order the books.
Well, it's not how you order them.
You order them online.
We are really going off the rails here.
A lot of dad jokes.
We're almost an hour into the film now.
That's a good feeling
Because it does go on
I know I said I enjoyed it
At the start
And I did
But it's just a long time
To be in the company
Of
The argument
The shine wears off
A little bit I guess
Mina
Is the woman's name
Who is
Hercules' girlfriend
The student
Former student
Oh no current
Former student
Hercules' girlfriend
Superman's sister
What a great film title that is
it's like sister sister mother wife aunt i get that they're trying to paint kevin silbo as a
dickhead but they've leaned right into it in the script day like he's a he's a fucking monster
yeah he takes all these
opportunities to
and I'm going to
screw this word up
I'm trying to add it
to my lexicon more
yeah
admonish
admonish
yeah admonish is good
where's the B
and where's the D
in that word
there's no B
admonish
admonish
is that the word
okay
he admonishes her publicly in front of all the um
you know professors because they're his mates because he's a professor at a dinner party sorry
that hasn't happened yet i apologize you know what tim there's almost there's almost an element
here whereby they have they take away so like they take away a lot of his social graces to the point that they almost associate all atheists with autism.
It's like all atheist people are slightly autistic.
Yes.
And even, I think...
Because they do it with the journalist as well.
They don't...
Yeah, that's true.
Every actual atheist in this film...
Everyone else is a pawn.
An agnostic pawn to be won by either side.
Every student in the lecture hall is a prize
for whoever can present the strongest argument,
but they're just pawns in this chessboard
of the devil versus God.
Yeah.
There was a fly-in shot just before.
That was quite nice.
Oh, that's cool.
Top right corner.
I did have something I was going to say.
It's gone now.
Sorry, I really derailed your train of thought.
No, that's okay.
My excitement for seeing a fly
there was something about
um
there would have been
he's being a woman hater
oh
I don't
yeah I don't know if he
he's just got
because
we learned that his
mother died when he was young
and I think it means
he's just got
sort of problems with
uh
with women
with his relationships
with women in general
because it doesn't seem to be
an issue with his
interpersonal relationships generally.
He's got friendships with these other professors.
But why does he treat this woman like shit?
They're mostly all other smug male professors, though,
if you think about it.
And a few, like, ador-
And then a few fawning woman professors.
Oh, that's the point I was going to make.
You're talking about how all the atheists are lumped
with, like, no social skills whatsoever in this film.
Because that's one of the final arguments that Josh makes.
Also, she was cutting her carrots long ways.
And unpeeled.
Yeah, in a real weird order.
Fucking weird.
One of the final arguments Josh makes is that, oh, goody,
if you don't have God, then what are you answerable to?
How can you have morals if you don't have God?
Which I've always had trouble with.
But never to fear
because our favorite car rental dude
is back.
Well, we can look forward
to discussing that argument
in a moment soon to be with us.
See, you guys on Patreon,
when you picked this film,
you were like,
Tim and Guy are going to have
a lot of fun with this.
But shame, guys.
We've leaned into the film's intent
and we're discussing
I think it's quite nice
It makes for a pleasant change in analysis
For me
Don't tell me this guy's going to fuck up a car again
Hey dude
I've got bad news for you
Can you hear that?
It just seems so unlikely
That it would happen three times
I know
Across 24 hours
But when you're a lion
And you don't have opposable thumbs
You can tell that he's no good at studying cars Because he's equally as confused and flustered I know. It costs 24 hours. But when you're a lion and you don't have opposable thumbs.
You can tell that he's no good at studying cards because he's equally as confused and flustered every single time.
This is probably when the movie really starts to get a little heavy handed in suggesting that atheists are not goodies.
I'm so bored.
This movie's boring on its second watch.
Yeah, it's got another hour to go.
Good God.
I'm feeling really sleepy and bored.
Nah, it's alright, man.
If you can enjoy Hercules' version of socialising
right now,
he is bragging that he's tricked a student
into trying to convince his so good i love how good
he feels about fucking up a first day first day student he's like this piece of shit i am going
to wipe the goddamn floor with him you're not even going to be able to recognize him as a human
being once i'm done with this dude i'm going to tear him several assholes that did not exist prior.
He spits while swilling his
red wine.
So good.
And I love this
smattering of people around the house.
It's quite an
awkward layout. It's so odd.
This is not how dinner parties happen.
You don't have people in the hallway just so you've someone behind no you don't you don't have people you know balancing
the shot at dinner parties socializing also i think the optimum number is 12 i think for a
small gathering you looked into this i read it somewhere 12 means that uh there's enough people
that they can break into separate factions of conversation. And anything less, it puts too much pressure on the speaker to engage the entire floor.
12 is so many, though.
But here they've got, I think, they've got eight, including the partner.
They've got nine.
Oh, this is so good.
Subtitles.
I've tested out of several classes, including math and chemistry.
But in one of my required classes, introduction to philosophy, there seems to be a lot lot of talk about god the chinese character explains to his father who lives in a car
god the father replies why god there is a lot of argument as to whether he exists replies the child
what does your professor say says the dad he's very certain that god doesn't exist says the child
then it's simple says dad god does not exist thereby demonstrating this filmmaker's um point you know there's some uh credibility to it
i assume uh that he's trying to paint that chinese stereotype that they're all blind
authoritarians i don't know if you're an authoritarian if you follow authority
maybe you're not maybe it's the wrong word uh but you follow it and earn the right to dole it out, as told by that.
As told by Ginger.
Yeah.
Lois Lane.
She's a redhead, everybody.
You don't know that because we didn't give you that information.
We thought it was unnecessary detail.
And now...
Oh, yeah, this is fucked up.
So Kevin Sorbo's partner forgot to take a bottle of wine out of the boot of the car for a day
and then the refined palates of all these smug alcohol drinking sons of bitches
from uni
the DNA crowd
drugs and alcohol
that's funny too because they're all creationists
yeah
good gag guy
not mine I don't think
he then quotes the Latin phrase which I can't remember what it is,
but the English is know thyself, particularly your limitations.
And then everyone at the table gets it,
except for his loving partner who's prepared a delicious cock au vin for the table.
Everyone laughs at her and then realize, uh-oh, was that rude?
We don't understand.
And his ass is on the way to getting dumped.
It's fucked up, man.
You don't,
as you said in the first watch,
don't roast your partner in front of your mates.
No.
It's a recipe for disaster.
That doesn't make any sense to me.
So we're sort of at the point now,
the midway point of the film,
which is when, um,
Lois Lane decides to potentially renounce her.
Oh no,
she,
she tries to maintain her,
her anti-Christian stance.
See,
you're getting sleepy now too,
aren't you?
Look at you.
No,
I'm just trying to remember the details.
She's getting an MRI at the moment.
And for some reason,
they've got this exchange
where the nurse is like,
you wearing any metal?
If you are,
this machine will rip it
clean out of your body.
She's just like,
okay,
sweet as.
Yeah.
They're trying to show that
the loneliness
and atheism
is what they're trying to show.
And also that,
you know,
Christianity doesn't
immediately exclude
the use and application
of modern science.
Wait, she's not Christian, though.
She's atheist.
Yeah.
But they still respect the results of the scan.
Who's they?
What are you talking about?
The filmmakers.
Oh, God, you're going broad.
Okay, yeah, sure.
Oh, that's...
It's not on screen for long enough, nor do I care enough to get into it.
Josh is delivering a Stephen Hawking quote he found to rip down.
I don't know.
What's it all for, though?
No one saw this movie.
I was trying so fucking hard to rent this, you guys.
Last night, I will confess, my original search may not have been the most legal,
and I didn't find a reputable site from which to obtain it. then i was like fine i guess i'll pay for it so i tried to get it on google
movies and uh new zealand is not a region that they have negotiated a fair price for this movie
for so it's not available here in my home and then i went to oh what's going on there oh that's me
sorry uh netflix and it's not on there.
And I went to one other place.
I can't remember where it was in there.
I was like, fine, I'll go to iTunes.
Went to iTunes.
Do you know how fucking hard it is to order a movie off iTunes sometimes?
It's real hard.
It's all this weird shit about authorizing your computer,
and then you just try it a bunch of times, and it doesn work for no reason and then suddenly one time it does yeah i've had
trouble with it before as well you've rented this film twice i understand i think i've paid for the
rental a couple of times now but the interesting thing is when i try oh amazon.com is the other
place i tried to get it so it's trying to get a rental from amazon.com to stream it and it's got
4.4 average star rating out of five but it also has its rotten
tomatoes rating on the same page which was 14 which is fantastic so it's like if you bought
this movie you rate it and you loved it but anyone else who's like a film critic or whatever
a real stinker stinking up the place what a big disgrace
yeah
I can't remember
I was going to make a broader point
when you started explaining
the struggle to rent the film
mate
if this film's taught me anything
it's that you can't hold on to the past
you've got to just keep moving forward
I'm sorry about that
what is that?
it's the cable
getting a bit
miffed now they kind of
needlessly bring two characters together this to me is one of the few moments uh amongst many where
i feel like the movie is padding um pastor dave and what did you say this character's name is
again mina mina uh talking to one another about the nature of relationships And faith And this conversation
Doesn't go anywhere
They can't have sex
I can't even remember
This conversation taking place
And I saw it
For a few hours ago
They're eating
What looked like
Two of the most disgusting
Cheeseburgers in the world
And
They're bad
Undeniably flat cola
Yeah
I mean
This place is about
Oh
And the chips look cold
This place would get
Torn asunder on Yelp.
Oh, my God.
Forget about it.
It wouldn't even come up if I was next door to it and I had ranked,
give me food places by location.
It would be like, do you know what, Tim?
It's like two stars.
We won't even tell you about it.
I don't respect Yelp or I don't respect people who write reviews on Yelp
individually, but then if I'm in a new place or I don't respect people who write reviews on Yelp individually.
But then if I'm in a new place and I need to make a decision in a hurry, I will defer to Yelp.
In spite of the fact, because I think the aggregate might be enough.
Individually, I don't care about any of the people who have written on Yelp.
But somehow I still follow it.
I hear completely what you're saying, dude.
It's crazy.
Isn't it?
Same with TripAdvisor.
Probably use TripAdvisor more than Yelp, actually.
I wonder if there's a microphone you can kind of swallow
or you just sort of keep it inside your mouth,
like put it on the roof of your mouth or something.
You probably just get a lot of, which I hate hearing.
Yeah, a terrible noise.
God, I hate hearing that shit on a mic.
You can hear it a lot on NPR podcasts.
If you listen for it, you can always hear their mouth going.
Because they use very sensitive microphones.
I think I've got that thing.
Yeah, you do.
Myosophonia.
Now that you've made that offer, you've just given so many other people a problem.
It's preferable to not have that consideration or listen for it.
I'm so sorry.
I've ruined it.
Just like I've told you that Chad Kroger is the Paddle Pop Lion.
Yeah.
An interesting fusion.
Is that how you say his name?
Chair Kroger and Avril Lavigne still together?
I don't think so.
Quite keen to Google if they are, but everything's in flight mode.
Darn tootin'.
Oh boy.
Now we're talking about evolution.
Josh has the helm in the lecture hall.
Yeah.
What's his argument against evolution? so this one is um he goes charles darwin when he was discovering
evolution said nature does not jump so what he's basically saying is like there's a progression
that goes roughly evenly distributed in terms of the changes that we see but i think what josh then
goes to talk about is one of the there's like these
different periods where there's an explosion of growth of organisms or in changes conveniently
forgetting that certain environmental factors will happen where it's like hey awesome there's
enough oxygen and the temperature's good let's all grow heaps he just doesn't even mention that
that's a possibility he's like do you know what's more likely charles darwin represents the totality and absolutism of atheism and so when he says
nature does not jump and then we see some features in the fossil record that there was an explosion
of growth therefore god exists it's like no dude those two things are disparate. It's applying the bullheaded Christian philosophy of creationism onto the opposing argument, right?
It's kind of true, yeah.
Yeah.
It's like there is no space for nuance.
To each their own.
If that's what you want to believe, that's all good.
I'm just saying the particular argument he goes with hasn't.
And got this young skinny lad convinced.
I got asked today if I consider myself a lad.
And I said, not in a thousand years do I consider myself a lad.
Was that in an interview?
Yeah, it was in an interview.
For the talk show Banter?
Yeah.
Can you see where he got the question from?
Absolutely.
He was like, I'm going to host a TV show called Banter.
And he said, tell me about that title.
Which is a point of contention because I fucking hate the name.
But I'm not allowed to say that in interviews because I asked the people who are making the show.
And they're like, please refrain from telling people that you fucking hate the name and tried to get it changed.
So I have somewhat.
That puts you in a bit of a tight spot.
You've just said it here.
Oh, no.
These are pals, though.
These are pals. You're listening. You're all're all good we're mates we go back ages you give me money you've helped me
out you know we're a big way we're all good oh and here's a great slow clap scene oh my god
hercules is so unhappy now because josh made a bit of headway in his arguments this time.
Over the faceless masses. He also is about to reveal his, to use the Greek mythological term,
Achilles' heel as he confesses to the reason he doesn't believe in Christianity or God.
Oh, is that this bit?
I'm pretty confident.
Maybe.
No, I think it's later.
Maybe it's now
oh look this is he's quoting scripture right yeah oh he's quoting job yeah you're right it is this
bit and so he says i don't believe in christianity because my mom died when i was young after being
pushed needled by Josh heavily.
No,
it's a confession here.
This is an earnest revelation of his Achilles heel
because he's trying to use this argument
to pin him to the floor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
By this wiry young Christian.
Josh suplexes him.
He's wiry and slippery.
As if you could suplex
a man with the strength of 10 men.
You know?
It's not going to happen, Josh, although it does in this film because this film is not an accurate strength of ten men. You know? It's not going to happen, Josh.
Although it does in this film, because this film is not
an accurate depiction of Hercules.
Foregone conclusion. It was filmed here
with Kevin Sorbo, that series, in New Zealand.
New Ever Zealandia.
I never saw the show. I only saw the advertising
materials. I believe it's where Xena
Warrior Princess came from. I think
it was a spin-off from Adventures
of Young Hercules, or whatever it was called. With Dame Lucy Lawless. I think it was a spin-off from Adventures of Young Hercules or whatever it's called.
With Dame Lucy Lawless.
You got it.
She should be a dame, eh?
A great dame.
National government would never make her
a dame though because she's all about damn whales.
Yeah, she loves whales.
She loves a whale.
Not in the same way the Japanese love to eat whale. Entirely the opposite. Yeah, she loves whales. Fuck, she loves a whale. Not in the same way the Japanese love to eat whale.
Entirely the opposite.
Yeah, different kind.
So many ways to love whales, eh?
Well, I would say that I love whales, but different, again, to Lucy Lawless's and Japan's love of whales.
Yeah.
My love of whales is like just a faraway admiration of them as a big old animal.
Yeah. You ever seen a whale? Yeah, I've seen big old animal yeah you ever seen a whale yeah i've
seen whales before where did you see a whale uh i've seen orcas yeah and the marlborough sounds
oh in the wild yeah far out man yeah a pod yeah that's dope seen a lot of dolphins we get to see
a few dolphins in new zealand and that is always exciting lava bloody dolphin who doesn't love a dolphin if you don't love a dolphin you don't have a heart dolphins
are very popular now this is um this is harrowing probably one of the most problematic scenes in the
movie uh it is problematic it's just stressful to watch yeah it's domestic abuse the um Domestic abuse. The Muslim daughter has been ratted out by her younger brother for listening to Christian scripture,
a.k.a. Christian porn, and her traditional father is none too pleased with this news.
He strikes her upon the face.
Not once, but twice, I believe.
And then boots her out of the house.
But is it possible that he just hates Apple?
It seems...
I mean, any way you cut it,
it's a huge overreaction,
but I feel like,
even though there shouldn't be a sliding scale
of how upset to be,
this can't be just about Apple.
Well, I don't know.
Some people are passionate about their products
and their companies.
Maybe this guy was a real Zoom proponent.
We just haven't really seen any exposition to suggest that he's an Android user or investor.
I mean...
Maybe he's a Microsoft dude, though, you know?
But there's just nothing to suggest that's the case.
Well, it's the inference.
Oh, man.
I've got to tell you.
Have you seen the new Guardians of the Galaxy?
No.
Okay, never mind.
Probably shouldn't ruin it for people listening too.
There's a moment.
It's good.
It's near the end.
Nice one.
Just sit on that.
Sit on that.
Oh man, so this guy's kicked his daughter out of the house
because he doesn't even really know that she was listening to scripture, right?
She didn't get caught out.
It was just the brother told the dad
and the dad was like,
yep.
She looks at,
he looks at her iPod
and presumably
sees that she's listening to it.
Like the first thing I would do
would be delete everything
and be like,
nah, he's lying.
He's a six-year-old boy.
Of course he's lying.
He's a liar.
Six-year-old boy's lying.
He's a little breaker.
I'm so sorry for you
for having to go on this.
It's just hard to,
hard to stay excited
About this film
Isn't it?
It's getting late in the day too
Getting dark out these parts
I'll tell you that for free ladies and gentlemen
The sun is setting
There was a beautiful golden hour moments ago
But you can't see that
The idea of the Chinese student's dad
Living in a car
Which you put forward on our first watch
Is the only thing holding me at this point It is truly a delightful concept and you can tell that it's starting to have an impact on his
uh grip on reality because his son just called to say he's being persuaded to believe in god
and his father said you don't know who's listening to these phone calls you are going to jeopardize
your brother's scholarship with talk like that holy shit i didn't catch that in the first or second watch um cancer ridden lois lane's now at a computer um trying to type
out her feelings and they've done this so shitly because she has to say out loud each word that
she's typing like just show us don't literally show us don't tell us yeah in this just show us
the screen that'll be enough and play some sad
music so we know how to feel so we've got our emotional cue but she doesn't have to verbalize
it because you would never do that by yourself in a room and now she freaks out and breaks her
laptop oh which just doesn't seem to help i'm sorry i know i should have more uh sympathy for
this character of course because this is like, but they've done a great job
in making me not like her.
There's a good cry
there, though. She's got
phlegm lines
in the mouth.
She goes, yeah, she throws
her head back and wails,
and that good bit of spit connecting the
top and the bottom. I mean, if you lose everything
and you've got no one to turn to,
what is there left?
Jeebus.
God.
Yeah.
That's what this is.
Oh, sorry.
That was rhetorical.
My apologies.
No, no, no.
Now here's Mina strutting in with a fuchsia top.
It's a good color on here.
I quite enjoy the shade.
While Kevin Sorbo explains why he's destroying the freshman's
argument in high school off the strength of this film i would love a web series called kevin sorbo
explains everything and it's just him taking one little subject matter every day and he sits down
at a table with a cup of coffee and tells me about the thing. Have you seen the video, The Atheist's Dilemma?
Is that the banana one?
Yeah.
I feel like it would be like that.
Yeah, bro.
I have.
It's a tremendous piece of content.
Truly, truly damning.
Yeah.
For the atheists among us.
Anyway, Kevin Sorbo turns out you can be too much of an asshole.
And his partner, Mina, Mina is saying see you later
and he's like I fundamentally disagree with this
which I think is trying to sort of foreshadow
or suggest something in reference to him
and his refusal to accept
Yeah, a fundamental truth.
So it's like you're being faced with overwhelming evidence
that your relationship's over
but you're refusing to accept it In the same way that God exists
But you won't acknowledge it
Great metaphor
Filmmakers
I just remember saying that these guys use Pastor Dave
In Unnamed Pastor
God is good
God is good all the time
God is good
It's a good bumper sticker
Yeah it's quite a nice turn of phrase
The paddle pop lion
Paddle pop lion's gonna save the Muslim girl
Because that's what you do when you're a Christian lion
Raw like a lion
Get the ice cream to the Muslim girls
They put raw like a lion in some paperboy looks
Hot dog man
Paperboy newsboys.
The newsboys.
They're bringing the good news.
Who gives a flying hoot?
Maybe that's why they have that.
There's so many posters and mentions of them.
No, you can't call yourselves the newsmen.
Oh, is that what they're called?
No, you can't be called the newsmen.
It's too creepy.
Well, it just sounds like a journalist at that point, right?
The newsmen.
Yeah. The newsboys is like a journalist at that point right the newsmen yeah the news boys it's like a playful playful little evangelist these these are quite old guys they're certainly not boys anymore he looks so much like the paddle pop line it's incredible
he's got the same eye shape you know the paddle pop line always kind of has that sympathetic look
with his eyebrows drooping like that.
He's got it.
He's got the gift. It's not really fair to say this, but he's got the most horrible hairstyle.
No, it's all good, bro.
He's like Sean Penn in Dazed and Confused.
He looks like Spicoli.
Is that his name?
Sean Penn is in Dazed and Confused?
Yeah. Is it Dazed and Confused yeah is it Dazed and Confused
what's the other
or Fast Times at Ridgemont High
I don't think I've seen
Fast Times
he's got a lot of face eh
which I'm all good with
I dig it
I dig his face
and he's wearing
a comfortable sweater
yeah that's a
comfy
like a bit of polar face
wrap me up
in a bit of that
really tell we're on our
haunches with regards to what to discuss here
yeah soz so back into the film we go um the muslim girl has come to pastor dave for help
she's a muslim woman i shouldn't keep calling her a girl she's like 22 or something by the
looks of things and she's like hey listen listen buddy i'm a christian and uh one thing i know
about christians it's
definitely not in the ten commandments to go against your father's wishes yeah i've read up
and so she's she's left home and basically pastor dave is like you've done the right thing by
completely ignoring the religion you were born into and your father's wishes as well
come be with the flock my child i'm paraphrasing but you know it's sort of what he was this standoff uh could have used i reckon probably two more boners um just to set the
scene for what guy's talking about vis-a-vis love muscles we got hercules in a lift in a powerful
dominating position going josh going with josh in the foreground josh orders the lift and
kevin sorbo's in there.
It's tense.
Because he's like, do I get in?
Do I not?
Do I get the next one?
No, I'm going to man up and do it.
So this is the day of the final argument,
I do believe.
Bit of a homoerotic vibe
in how they've set it up.
This movie takes place over three days.
The third day is going to make its closing statements
in the trial of Christianity.
Oh, so this is the one that I have the biggest problem with.
I've got small problems with all of them.
Earlier when I was saying how they don't start off too heavy-handed,
this is the point you made when we watched it the first time.
The scriptwriters suddenly just get super sure of themselves here
and start just fucking taking
shots left right and center at the beginning through josh's their vessel the filmmakers are
like hey listen we've got a few questions about the official account of how evolution and the big
bang happened so maybe we should just like take on this thread and have a listen to this and then
by this third and final diatribe to the class he's like fuck atheism fuck you god is great
if we didn't have god we wouldn't have morals i'm right you're wrong and what do you what do
you think about that argument tim i just kind of hate it i hate the idea that morals and ethics
are predicated on you having to answer to someone in the afterlife because it completely removes a
altruism you can't be nice
to anyone if you're just doing it for transactional reasons and b i actually think there is like a
utility from a social point of view of being nice to people and that is you get to live in a nicer
society because you should act in a way that you want everyone to act which i know is the golden
rule and in the bible but that's just because it's a good idea. They don't have monopoly over that concept of do unto others.
Someone didn't ferry that message to Josh in time for this final speech.
Now the argument that Christianity makes is if that first one doesn't work,
it's like also if you do bad stuff,
you're going to get locked in a furnace where the guy is going to butt fuck you for eternity.
Yeah. Hey, look,fuck you for eternity. Yeah.
Hey, look, it's not for us.
And I respect the hell out of Christianity.
I think it's done great things.
And I think there's lots of Christians doing good things.
Don't subscribe to the beliefs myself, but everyone do what you want, man.
Hide out.
Josh gets so...
I'm more of a James Reid from the feelers kind of a guy.
Yeah. Josh gets so I'm more of a James Reid from the feelers kind of a guy yeah so
this is
as it turns out
much more persuasive
than either of us
give it credit for
it takes freaking ages
oh man
persuasiveness
does not equal
time spent explaining
in fact I think
there's an inverse
relationship to the two
if you have to
explain your point
for fucking half
an hour you know i'm going to pay less attention to it and here we all are paying less attention
to josh and presumably tim and guy as they trudge into the hour and 23rd minute i just wanted to see
hercules fight superman was there so much to ask and i love that they picked two juggernauts of the small screen kevin silbo and
dean kane who i think were on screen at the same time in those roles like it was both in the late
90s that those shows were on well this was another question i was asking i haven't looked up all the
performers in the movie but do you think that they all are christian do you think do you mean
do you imagine that a christian film would hire an all Christian crew and cast possibly aye
because then it would
surely that would
pump up your belief
except the soundies
soundies are godless
folk who will take
any job they can
that's right
cash hungry
heathens
I think you would
though
because then you'd
all be picking up
each other
it's like Adam Sandler
exclusively hires his
friends
so everyone's like
well it doesn't matter
if the movie's gonna stink
because we're having
a good time doing it
I can understand that though.
Yeah, here we go.
Here's where the filmmakers
start laying the big hits on.
It's not enough that you're
teaching us to critically think about religion.
You're teaching anti-theism.
Why are you doing it, Kevin Sorbo?
What happened in your life
to make you so scornful
of religion?
And he lays a honey trap.
Well, yeah.
It's not really a honey trap
if you badger someone.
It's weird that he's going
to become a lawyer,
right, this kid?
He doesn't look a day over 17.
He doesn't have a pube
on a ball.
He does strike me
as the kind of guy
who would have just a mound
with no external genitalia,
like a Kindle.
Do you reckon that's where the name Kindle comes from?
Here's the trap.
He's asking,
why do you hate God?
Oh yeah, that's right.
Why do you hate God josh keeps repeating kevin silva says because he took everything away from me everything away from me and now he's cooked because he's played his hand he said that he does
know god exists and he is a messenger of the devil he He's agreed with the proposition that God is real to hate.
Fucking gotcha there,
you sons of bitches.
Yeah, and now watch as...
I just want to be at the gig, man.
Get me to the news, boys.
The news, boys.
Get me to the news, boys,
at a police that's not the stable center because we couldn't get the rats
can't even sing uh yeah and it does sort of limp out now they borrow a note from the dead
pod society so they got super confident in what they were doing and then they're like fuck we
need something emphatic to sort of really push this thing over the edge have you seen any good
movies lately and they're like well there's one where a teacher was a good guy and all the pupils liked him and they stood on the tables
they're like well no one noticed that we steal that because in our story the good guy is a student
as well and yay verily they'll stand up and say i am spartacus oh captain my captain i am spartacus
god is not dead.
The first student, who's the Chinese guy we were talking about before, says.
And then a guy called, like, J-Dog, I think?
They call him G-Dog when he gets his one line earlier on in the film. Well, he calls himself G-Dog.
Yeah, but the scriptwriters did it first.
Oh, and then all those bright, shining American faces stand up and announce to the world,
God is in fact not dead.
Kevin Sorbo is dead.
I don't believe in Zeus,
but I do believe in Jesus.
That's right.
Seems a little harsh to me.
You can choose both.
Choose both.
Choose a big screen tally
and life at your flat with a lager.
Kevin Sorbo is such a sore loser
he doesn't even say anything to Josh.
Now Josh is the teacher
of the first year philosophy class.
Have you seen that?
Which is not a life he's signed up for.
That's how you get the job.
You present a central premise
or thesis to a student
and if they disprove it to you
that's the real honey trap.
You say I'm going to argue this with you
and then if they beat you
then they become the professor.
Yeah that's good.
But you can also be
if I was Kevin Sorbo in that situation,
I'd be like,
well done.
You did exactly what I wanted you to.
You formulated a very good argument.
I'm the man.
I'm still in control and in charge.
I fostered intelligent debate in my classroom.
Yeah.
And just regained your omnipotence.
He's too proud to be that shifty, though.
He is.
Oh, man. He's too proud To be that shifty though He is Oh man Is he taking him to see
Paperboys now?
Everyone's so
Newsboys
Sorry
Fire out
God damn
It's hard to care about this film
Yeah
They're about to tie up all the loose ends
But it's going to take half an hour to happen
Yeah fuck it
And also
Oh no
There's one more dramatic plot point
That we've got to look forward to
which really comes out of the blue real squirrel moment yeah and you might have uh put that the
the baby before the cart there or the horse horse out with the next i haven't said who or what
exactly anyway we'll get to it what we're going to delve into now for the probably next eight
minutes or so is starting another car because the paddle pop line
and his friend from far away um they want to get to those theme parks and who could blame him you
know well it turns out what is preventing them from being able from being able to start a car
was preventing past the day from being able to start a car is apparently he doesn't believe in
god quite enough yeah did i ever tell you about the time when I tried to get a Big Mac, but because I didn't have enough faith in God, I couldn't get it?
No, you didn't, Tim.
The story starts at 9 o'clock in the morning on a Friday.
I had hankering.
I had a hunger like I've never had.
I knew I had to get to the Golden Arches and get their signature product, the Big Mac.
So on I sit on my toes, my tippy toesippy toes like a t-rex walking over there all excited
couldn't get this soon enough went in said one big mac please they said i'm afraid we don't start
serving big macs until 10 30 a.m sir i said very well i went away walked around the block a few
times killed some time got even hungrier for that sweet sweet big mac came back into the store said i'll
have one big mac please by this stage it's 25 minutes to 11 anti meridian i go to pay for said
order put my card down card says we cannot read your card please swipe it i say okay it says
cannot read the magnetic strip please insert it i say It says, we cannot read the chip. Please swipe your card. I say, okay.
And then finally, it accepts.
Thank God.
I punch in my account.
Savings.
I punch in my PIN number.
That's for you to find out.
And I order.
Accept.
Then the card declines.
Not enough money to complete the transaction.
And that day, I did not get a Big Mac.
That's not because you don't believe in God.
You don't know that. I do.'s not because you don't believe in God. You don't know that.
I do.
That's because you didn't have enough money.
Well, maybe I would have if I believed in God.
God would have delivered.
It's the longest way of saying you want me to buy you a Big Mac.
Yeah.
Superman is confronting mortality now as his mother with dementia.
He's unaware that she's talking to him, him actually but she professes a very profound quote it's about the devil letting you have a good life because you'll have a shit
afterlife um in light of the fact that superman's just brought up the fact he's like listen i haven't
but i've been an arsehole my whole life and my life is fucking baller and you've been an arsehole my whole life, and my life is fucking baller. And you've been such a lovely, pious, moral woman, and yet look at you.
You're in suffering.
How's that the case?
And she's like, yeah, devil will let you get away with it for a bit, but you'll get fucked up in the end.
Yeah, hard to F out.
A lot of stuff being put forward.
Hey, Tim.
Yeah, should we go to sleep?
Yeah, man. Just a little nap
Pack her in
Pack her up
Pack her in
Pack her up
Pack her in
Let me begin
Yeah we get it
This is a movie
Without much sin
What I would like to see
Is more
Fucking
There you go
A thousand percent more fucking
It's amazing how often
The solution is
Hornier
That would be the note I would have put on the script
If I got to be the script editor
Oh this is so good
The Hastings Centre
The Hastings Centre is
What we think
They've filmed it outside of the Staples Centre in LA
And they haven't got the rights to use it
So they've like changed it in post to the Hastings Centre
Unless the Hastings Centre exists and we're both morons.
We're not morons for knowing of like medium to large sized event centres throughout all of America.
It's totally permissible.
It's a good plural, eh?
Oh, this is so good.
So Lois Lane uses a media pass to storm the green room of the band Paper Boys.
I'm not taking the bait so she's she's just she's burst in there and one of the news boys has quite rightly said do we
schedule an interview and she said no i just want to ask you some questions she pulls out her iphone
she holds it the wrong way she starts throwing questions about god at them. And they're very lovely about it.
Well, they're just like,
they're so secure in their faith
and they're so rich that they're like,
well, this is really no matter for us.
Also, they all appear to have led a life free of sin
because none of them are nervous or squeamish
at the proposition that they're about to get probed.
They're so likable though aren't they they're like
charismatic and nice as they come they're so lovely and they're not even actors man they're
musicians who got put in the film yeah these guys are great poster boys funded the film even
christianity except that guy with the heavy australian accent he's okay but compared to the rest of them he's
just he's the drummer and they all kind of tease the drummer for being the drummer
yeah you think he's smart and he's just the drummer you know who was the drummer in
the beatles ringo who's still alive also ringo check mate not quite barely even check
uh this guy
it turns out
it's pretty good
that we've still got
Paul walking among us
eh
well unless you believe
the conspiracies
do you believe
the conspiracies
absolutely not
look at Abbey Road man
look at the cover
I love how
Sergeant Peppers
is facing the wrong way
that evidence is
so good
that's someone
someone has developed
that with
too much time on their hands.
You just cherry pick details and repeat them over and over until they get drummed into certain people.
Boy, that sounds familiar.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about our podcast, The Worst Idea of All Time.
We don't have a broader purpose.
Also, this is a great, great moment.
Guess what?
All the Christian characters are coming to the Christian fucking gig
at the end of this Christian movie.
We get told at the end of this movie,
I'm really blowing the load of the big reveal.
At the end of the movie,
it literally tells you in text on the screen
to text everyone you know in your phone,
God's not dead.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They do do that. Which just kind of kind of i mean i don't mind all
of it in the lead up to that but it kind of undermines the sentiment it undermines it because
it's the title of the film if it was an instruction that was divorced from film promo it would have a
little bit more integrity yeah but you're just texting your mates the name of a movie listen
superman versus Hercules.
Yeah, yeah.
Text that to a hundred of your friends and you'll be doing God's work.
No, I'm just promoting your film.
Kevin Sorbo is about to masturbate his heathen penis to several pieces of paper that students wrote on saying God's not dead. That's how you get the worst baby cuts.
So bad.
Or is he?
the worst baby cats.
So bad. Or is he?
Instead he actually reads
a note penned by his mother
who was a Christian
who died when he was 12 years old.
Poor Kevin Silbo, eh?
Wonder what he's doing right now.
Did I read out this whole letter?
I don't remember.
I don't care, man.
Fuck, I don't care.
This is such an emotional moment
and I do not give
three-fifths of a shit.
Do you know why?
Why?
Because that motherfucker's about to get rolled by a hitman.
Don't.
Don't, don't, don't.
Don't ruin it.
Do you know what this voice is?
This is everyone's little sister.
Tim, no.
Tim.
Guy. That's exactly
It's a one syllable name
It stands out so much
When you do it to them
My older sister was called Alice
And my little sister would go
Alice
You gotta add more syllables
When you're having a whinge
Uh oh The sky is falling You've got to add more syllables when you're having a whinge. Uh-oh.
The sky is falling.
And do you know who's falling with it?
Who?
God from the cloud.
To remind me he exists.
Kevin Sorbo is trying to make peace with his Mina.
Gives her a ring, but he gets the answer phone.
Because he realizes he's done wrong.
Then, a newspaper clopping catches his eye,
announcing that the Christian rock band,
The Newsboys, are playing in town tonight.
Tonight, he says.
But that's tonight!
And off he goes into the night.
Hey, Tim.
Yes?
Is this recording on the...
Is it deliberately called Kill Me?
Oh, yeah, I changed the name of the file.
It's a Kill Me 0172.
Yeah, on the digital recorder I'm using,
if we want to capture our voices through microphones,
you can name your files different things.
And I was using it on a TV shoot recently with Guy,
and I got bored, so I called all the files kill me.
It was actually...
Oh, did we miss the scene where the guy comes in
and he's like, can we have a moment?
It's important.
Oh, nah.
Is that here?
Oh, nah, fuck, we did.
God damn it. Fuck, it was the best bit of the movie yeah shit shit shit the manager yeah the manager
of the newsboys pops his head in as lois lane comes into fire questions at these guys and then
she announces that she's got cancer and why does god exist if there's so much suffering in the world
and then the manager comes in right at that like pivotal charge moment he goes hey boys you're on
in five and the newsboys goes you're gonna have to give us a minute this is important he goes
thanks guys and as he walks away there's no information out of them thanks is not the
correct response to that it's okay or that might be a problem or i'll make it work or something
like that but at a maximum it's it's okay. I hear you.
Never thank you.
Thank you, boys.
Thanks, boys.
Yeah, it's pretty funny.
Fuck, it's good.
What do you think about their music,
by the way?
Uplifting?
I've heard worse.
I've heard better.
But mainly,
I've heard better
because I hate it.
Yeah?
No, I don't hate it.
It's fine.
It's like this movie.
It's just kind of, you know,
it's not very affecting to me.
Fuck, man.
They picked out the stadium, though, didn't they?
Yeah.
It's no hiding that.
You looked them up on Wikipedia, didn't you?
Oh, yeah.
They've been nominated for a lot of Christian Music Awards.
And they've won something for a video.
They've been around for donkeys, though.
I think it said they formed in, like, 85. Do you been around for donkeys though. I think it said
they formed in like 85.
Do you know when I formed?
87.
This band predates me.
That's pretty fucking crazy.
That was a good shot transition
wasn't it?
Over to Kevin Silbo
from the band.
It's really weird.
It starts raining
for no real reason
in the movie.
It's because sometimes
it rains dude.
Fucking hell man.
But like in the last shot
it was
Now hold on.
That drama.
There's a real shit drumstick twirl
and then almost completely the camera
gives the biggest shit-eating grin
you've ever seen delivered by a drama.
Also, he wears a tie and tucks it into his shirt
like a fucking dropkick.
Yeah.
You know you're going to be drumming.
I understand, though.
It's dry and then it's wet.
Hercules is rolling
And God's like
Hey more tests for you
Here's some rain
But it's so obviously a bucket
Because it's like
In one very specific spot
And it stops
While in shot
If you know what I'm saying
Yeah
It's pretty weak
Oh you gotta wait
No jaywalking
No jaywalking bro
Even atheists know that
So he waits.
People have some pizza outside.
And then out of nowhere, boom, comes...
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait for it, wait for it.
Boom.
There's the bucket.
That is such good, funny, cheap rain.
And the pedal pop line and the pastor are nearby at the lights.
Here we go.
Oh, this is the money shot, you guys.
Oh, shit.
I thought he went the red. So he actually did wait for it for the green kevin silbo crosses and he just got
fucking annihilated by a car you guys i can't express how hard that car hit him
and threw him into the air we got some kind of gopro shot looking at his body going up like
bird's eye view we are the eagle watching Hercules being taken down by a fucking automobile,
which would never happen in real life.
And then he comes back onto the ground.
He hits that concrete hard.
Yeah, and then the pastor, Dave, and the unnamed pastor,
who also turns out to be a doctor, have a look at him.
They say, you're going to die.
His ribs are crushed.
Blood's going into his lungs. They just look at him and they're like yep that's what's happening they say you're gonna die
but no one's not too late and tell us you believe in god yeah that's true they convert him with his
last breath they make literally no attempt to save his life nah and also like to the point where i
think if this went to court,
especially in America,
he might be culpable
for, like,
accidental manslaughter
or something.
No remorse is shown.
They stand up afterwards
and they're like,
something beautiful happened here.
Oh, you gotta wait for that.
Wait for that to unfold.
Kevin Sorbo is, like,
with his last breath
struggling to articulate
why he's so pissed off
at God to this pastor.
But then eventually
gets converted successfully.
I would be so fucked off if I was hit by a car and dying.
And some guy kept telling me to believe it.
Like I'm not dying.
But in the world of the movie.
And like for the people who go to it.
They're concerned about Kevin Silbo's immortal soul.
It's so rude.
Try and keep me alive before you give up on me.
Yeah true bro.
It's a good point
Call an ambulance
Somebody call an ambulance please
Oh no he does say that actually he says call an ambulance
But I like that the doctor knows enough
To look at the guy and instantly
Diagnose him as his lungs are filling up with blood
I actually thought they were going to do an emergency
Trachy
Which is where you jab like a pen into someone's
Esophagus to create an airway
What's it called?
pipe
way too heavy
but they didn't do it
they just watched him cark it
it's too visually confronting
the rain doesn't really add that much other than the idea that it washes away your sins
because everyone is getting esophagoid at this point
that's what the rain's all about eh
do you know what a rainbow is?
A rainbow is God's promise, I think, to Noah that he won't flood the world again.
Do you know what a rain bro is?
What's that?
Fucking ally, dude.
Yes, dude.
Yes, dog.
There is a guy who plays Ultimate Frisbee with everyone.
Doesn't matter who you are
Yeah
Mad respect
Mad respect to the rain bros
Man
Honestly
If I'm dying
And there's some fucking minister
Leaning over me
Being like
Say that you believe in God
Tackle the shit out of them
I will dude
I'll take that on
I'll take that feedback on board
Fuck you man
You just killed Hercules.
But he did save his immortal soul from going to hell.
That's cool.
No, we don't know that.
He's securing that information.
There's no altruism.
It's like you say.
This is like how you don't believe they had sex and we are your friends.
No.
It's so heavily implied.
But this Pastor Dave only did that for himself.
No, the Paddle Pop Lion does admit
like in his final breaths
he's like,
sweet, God's real.
Or whatever.
Words to that effect.
He accepts Jesus
as a saviour.
Yeah, and Pastor Dave
does that.
Why does he do that?
Not for Hercules.
He does it so that
he knows he helped.
No, he does it for Hercules, man.
Oh, that's right.
Duck Dynasty guy shows up.
Yes, bro.
To promote the film.
Yeah.
Literally to promote the film.
He comes on the big screen at the Staples Center in disguise,
positioned above the newsboys.
He congratulates.
He somehow caught wind of this bullshit fucking learning exercise
that happened in three classes of a first-year philosophy paper
at some small-town campus.
And he's like, whoever was arguing with that philosophy lecturer,
God send a car to
fuck him up he's dead now everybody put your phones in the air text a bunch of people and let's throw
the fuck down and then you know what he says he says i've just been talking to my dad or my granddad
i can't remember who it is i'm really sorry to do this but will all the people of color please get
out of the staples center god i don't even know what
you're talking about i literally i know that there was an incident i can't remember the particular
but they set billy up from duck dynasty as a real good guy in this real straight shooter
but i tell you what all that goodwill is eroded by the fact that he literally
tells you the film watch it to text everyone you know the words god's not dead which is the name of the film
and it is galling yeah and what else is galling is that image of billy is superimposed there's
no way that that's actually on that big screen that's quite freaky and then you can tell also
the the young uh muslim woman who's now converted to christianity recognizes recognizes Josh as the guy who argued with the philosophy lecturer,
and then he gets a boner and she gets a heart boner.
Love muscle, love heart.
They can't do anything about it.
Of course they can't.
She's converted to Christianity, by the way.
I just don't know if we made that clear before.
The guy from Duck Dynasty told everyone to text.
So everyone just takes out their phones.
No one can dance along to the gig.
It's the most ant-social thing to do
Everyone take out your phones
For the next three minutes
We're going to text people
Yeah he should
Text a hundred
He's like
Hey text a hundred people
That's reasonable
He said everyone's got about a hundred friends
Text a hundred people
God's not dead
And they'll text a hundred people
And then
It's a million people
Seems so unlikely
That all of them would text
God's not dead
A lot of them would be like
Stop texting this number
Hard out Or who does New phone who does That's a classic Seems so unlikely that all of them would text God's not dead. A lot of them would be like, stop texting this number.
Hard out.
Or who dis?
New phone who dis?
That's a classic.
I actually, I'm so over new phone who dis.
What do you mean over it?
Just every version of it.
I haven't seen a fresh spit on it for months now, you know?
Should we try in the dying moments of this film to come up with a new phone who dis?
No, because I'm giving up on it.
I'm over it.
Oh God.
What if we could get a real hot spin on it though Seems unlikely
God damn
This song is
Rubbish
We're both at creative lows
I resorted to
Some pretty borderline
Content moments
There are
Seats at this gig
They've got chairs out
That's bullshit
There are chairs everywhere
There are rows of chairs
Between everyone
And everyone's standing up
Fucking hell
We're nearly done everyone
They got external shots
At the Staples Centre
And then used some tiny
Probably the same hotel lobby
Like the hotel meeting room
That they used as the airport
This was all shot in one location
You know what guy
If I had to go out on a limb
I'd say not our best work
You know what though isn't that a fair
reflection of the um film yeah movie making efforts no they tried with this they had a
like you said they had a point we didn't that's true sad roaring like a lion superman is about
to do something i can't remember what it is What is he about to do? Text his mum?
Text Mina?
What the fuck is he doing?
Oh he received the message
God's not dead
Everyone's receiving the text
Oh yeah okay
So this is the fucked up bit
So
Son of Zeus has been killed
Everyone by a car
Hercules is dead
There next to him
The ambulance has arrived
But like he's dead
But Pastor Dave
is not done
with flouting the law.
Pastor Dave receives
a text message
saying God's not dead
and the two pastors
are fucking
happy as Larry.
Thick as thieves
these two are.
Just smiling,
goofing off
in the face of someone.
Well,
so shouldn't God's not dead
have an apostrophe?
All of these people.
It did in some of them.
Oh, okay. Oh, that's nice. This whole spectrum of grammatical accuracy Also, shouldn't God's Not Dead have an apostrophe? All of these people. It did in some of them. Okay.
Oh, that's nice.
This whole spectrum of grammatical accuracy is represented.
I'm pretty sure non-paddlepop line past is rocking a goddamn Blackberry.
I like the device agnosticism in this film.
Real good.
That is fucked up.
That guy is so happy
That Hercules died
What did he say?
He was like
Think of all the joy in heaven right now
God smiling on us
Because he got that text message
Saying God's not dead
You are literally over a dead body
You're standing over a dead body
That was a person moments ago
Yeah
No matter what you think happens in the afterlife
Show some goddamn respect
Yeah Fuck Okay ago yeah no matter what you think happens in the afterlife show some goddamn respect yeah
fuck uh okay the good news is that we are mercifully close to the conclusion of this movie
this was um they have to play two whole paperboy songs one at the start one at the end
this was a good uh a good test of us oh here we go okay so we've gone to black And now the title text says Join the movement
Text everyone you know
God's
Not
Dead
Neither are Tim and Guy
How about you market
Your own fucking movie
For a change
What about that
For a cool spin
But we came pretty close
God's Not Dead
The movie was inspired
By the following legal cases
Where university students
And campus ministries
Were condemned for their faith
And then it lists A whole bunch of court cases boy howdy everyone thanks for
picking it thanks for sticking with us it's been a real pleasure bringing it to you we'll see you
again you can't lie to everyone at the end yeah they know they've been here guy yeah well thanks
for listening though i do appreciate we had some moments yeah love you love you buggers out there
yeah we love all you buggers out there we'll catch you soon eh yeah real soon okay bye