The Worst Idea Of All Time - DIRECTOR'S COMMENTARY (TWO)
Episode Date: July 30, 2017Tim and Guy enter the studio to provide an audio commentary for the film, We Are Your Friends. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
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Today.
You ready?
Okay, let's go.
The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer.
Everybody run!
Ends here.
This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately.
Borderlands. Now playing.
You gonna play that dastardly intro again?
Try, try, try, try, try, try, try.
Ow!
This movie's still fine.
There's a colleague, a pastor
One of them dies, that guy's screw
One of them's a hottie, his name is Jay
One of them looks like Johnny Depp
And his name is Johnny Depp
Classic Maximum Joseph
Agree!
Ah!
You forget that films are supposed to have a plan
Ah, great to be in the room!
Pleasure to be here
It's Spinnally Timbly Wimbly.
And your boy, Flash.
Let's get that door shut, shall we,
while you're getting set up and ready and whatnot.
Is that okay?
Is that cool with you, guy-guy?
No worries from me, big boy.
Yes, bro.
Just settling in to watch the film
we know and love so well.
We are your friends
for the first time in a week, roughly.
Oh, and I'm thrilled to see it
Here's the back of Zac Efron's head
Just like it is every single week
I tell you what
This has truly been a tremendous adventure we've been on
And I can't wait to rip into this director's commentary with you all
Oh boy I'm so excited
We've never quite gotten to the bottom of whether or not
The squirrel imagery that's on the headphones and his laptop are foreshadowing to squirrel's death.
I feel like we should really reverse Google image search then, because I think it must be a DJing brand that paid for a little bit of exposure.
Yeah, I know, but it's still too coincidental, even with that in mind, to not be a thing.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I know what you're saying.
I mean, do you feel that the character named Squirrel could have just been substituted to be squirrel to kind of confuse
people they're chicken and the egg so you think maybe the product placement came first and they
named a character after that is that what you were saying yeah maybe that was maybe they specified in
the contract that they carved out they said we'll get take x amount of dollars or whatever you're
going to pay us in megan Oppenheimer and Maximum Joseph,
and we'll also take a character being named after our product.
So good to be here.
We've been through a lot together during the course of this podcast,
and this is going to be the last direct commentary we do,
and there's a tinge of sadness about it.
There's certainly a feeling, I think,
that a page is being turned for the last time.
And I've got to tell you, Tim,
it feels good for both of us at the same time to be turning this very heavy page.
Would you say that your deck is full of diamonds
and your mouth is full of concrete on this turning of the page?
May it always be full of diamonds and concrete.
Both.
I've been mixing my metaphors.
I've been putting concrete and diamonds in my mouth
and concrete and diamonds in my deck.
And I'm due a trip to the hospital.
I'll bet you are.
Loads of two holes
you don't want
hard substances in.
You said it.
You said it, man.
So,
that beanie's pretty cool, eh?
We don't talk enough
about Johnny Depp's beanie.
It's pretty dope.
We don't talk a lot about
Johnny Depp full stop.
Yeah, that's true.
And for good reason.
I feel like we do it
pretty early on in the season.
Did your parents ever teach you,
or where do you think you picked up the wisdom,
if you don't have anything nice to say,
don't say anything at all?
Absolutely my dad.
And do you feel that, you know,
through the medium of this podcast,
we abide that tenant?
Yeah, I guess not.
Which just goes to show,
we didn't listen to our parents too good.
And your parents don't know everything
When did you realise that your parents
Weren't the sort of
Computer programmed people
Who knew right from wrong
And were just fallible people
Like you and I
Yeah I can't remember the exact incident
But I'd have to have been about 9 years old
That's pretty good.
How old do you reckon you were when you figured that one out?
I couldn't put a number on it, but I was sort of naturally,
embarrassingly, my inclination was to respect authority
until later than I would have liked.
I would have liked to be...
Like 23, 24?
Yeah, roughly.
That's when you figured out your parents were fallible?
Or just everyone was fallible.
I thought everyone else had been getting everything perfect
and I'd been fumbling every opportunity,
or not every opportunity, but making mistakes.
We're going deep early in this movie, aren't we, Guy?
We're here to talk about the film,
not your deep-seated insecurities, am I right?
You sure are, Tim.
You sure are.
It's pretty amazing that they...
Does that say gig?
I've always wondered.
We have never figured that out.
What is tattooed on Jarhead's hands?
Jarhead's got three fingers,
from his middle finger to his little finger on his right hand.
And it says jig.
And it's that kind of font that you often see
in gangster rap albums from the 90s.
The oldie English text,
I think, if you're on a Microsoft Word document.
But the other thing I was going to bring up is squirrel's fringe having the blonde the blonde tips yeah like rogue
also it's the same thing with johnny depp's facial hair there are a few elements of it which uh hit
and miss in terms of continuity it's just crazy that on a like i mean i know this wasn't a fully
fledged blockbuster but it's still a pretty wide release film
that you would let the cast get away
with that kind of shit.
Because it's just like,
what the fuck's going on here?
Why is this hair different
in this montage that's at the start of the film
from later on?
I almost feel like
that some of that footage they shot there
was maybe for use in like a,
either not promotional material,
but even in the pitching stages.
Yeah, but even so. A tonal reference piece they even in the pitching stages yeah but a tonal
reference piece they submitted then if it's tonal reference keep the tone when you make the film
what's more what's more honest to tone than change the original idea what are you what are you
talking about this is my point if your tonal reference piece has a particular hair color in it
and they go yep
we'll green like that maybe don't change the hair color i think i think you can change the hair
color but i do think that they should make their mind up one way or the other he's covering it
there it went down the wrong hole i actually don't mind jahid acting. I think he's pretty good.
You've been a Jahid...
Enthusiast.
Enthusiast, yeah.
More or less since dot one.
I've always found elements of his character traits
quite jarring, funnily enough.
Frustrating.
But do you think he's a bad actor?
Nah, he's consistent through the film.
And I think it's pretty good.
I would love to figure out where this was shot and go to this diner.
I think that Paige, he's quite a well-known actor,
I think whoever plays Paige acts the pants off this film
and kind of makes it difficult for anyone else to keep up with him throughout it.
I'll say that.
Bold.
Well, at first when we did the podcast,
I was like, this is the best character in the movie.
And then it's like, maybe it's not a coincidence that the best character is also the best actor.
Yeah, well, a lot of people contacted us when we kind of got into about the 20th watch when they were like,
okay, so we've looked up this movie you guys are watching and that guy's very famous and a very well-known good actor.
So like, know your shit.
And I still haven't bothered to learn either his back catalog of films
or his name so apologies for that i've seen him in a few films i think he was in the accountant
which we saw together that was so funny we went to la and guy and i were like you know what we'll
go see a film just take our minds off the podcast for a bit we're doing a bit of podcast business
here everything's getting a bit full on we'll go and take a break go and see a movie and who's the fucking co-star but page harrell yeah it was nuts he was going by a different name then and we did
have no idea because we didn't know his name because we didn't do our research and the guy
on the poster was ben affleck i've always thought that the music making elements uh that are shown
in this film like him dragging a audio file an audio file that says techno yeah that's like
they're pretty bad huh absolutely i mean just use fruity loops or something they'll probably give
you the right to use that for free just for promo but to drag a file called techno across two inches
like you're using garage band the thing is as well and i know this is a small point and it's way bigger fish to fry in this film but like if you were trying to give the uh character the sort of context of being
struggling right like would even macbook or do you reckon it have a cheap windows laptop
maybe we'd still have a macbook it's an old MacBook. Creatives have MacBooks, don't they? Yeah.
And does GarageBand run on Windows?
No, sir.
But you also, if you're a half self-respecting DJ,
you don't use GarageBand to make your beats. Then you probably use something called Ableton, I imagine.
Ableton Live or your bloody Serato.
Can you make music on Serato or just mix music?
No idea.
I'm not a DJ.
No, neither am I
Anyway
These boys are scrubbing up
They're off to party
For the first of many times
In this film
Also don't mind the soundtrack
Don't
Love
Love love it
Don't mind it
Another thing we haven't made a lot out of
Is
Or we barely mention it
Because we barely talk about Johnny Depp
But he says later pop
It's just another one of the weird illusions
In this film to
To dads or just
like the relationship between the main characters and their parents no but specifically dads there's
a lot of dad shit going on in this film which has never it's it really i think does probably speak
to some shit going on with the writers of this film megan oppenheimer and max joseph i wouldn't
give for an opportunity to get inside their heads
and find out what they're like what are they thinking what was the filmmaking process not
gonna happen there was um max joseph did a reddit ama and someone asked him were you aware of these
two jokers who are watching your film a bunch of times or like this podcast where they're doing it
and he said something to the effect of i don't want any i don't want to know about it. I don't want any part of it.
I thought he said something like, yes, I'd rather not think.
I don't know what to make of that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was like, I don't want to interface with that project.
And do you know what I say?
You can make that longer, Guy.
This is what I am.
No, I'm all good.
Do you know what I say?
Fair or bloody enough, I wouldn't want to touch us with a barge pole.
No, certainly not.
Remember back in the halcyon days of season one when we were like,
I wonder if Adam Sandler knows we exist.
To this day, probably not.
Yeah, probably not.
Tell you what is true, Patty Schwartz still follows me on Twitter.
Does he really?
Yeah, I can slip that motherfucker dm anytime i
like that is fucking fantastic god that's good there were times when i sent him a message asking
him if he wanted to be on a podcast do you know the probably the coolest thing that has ever
happened from my frame of reference is the fact that like global superstar lin-Manuel Miranda did a performance of Hamilton.
Patty Schwartz went to it and he freaked out when Patrick Schwarzenegger came
backstage because he knew about him from our podcast.
I didn't know.
Did you not know that?
I didn't know or had forgotten it.
That's amazing.
I got shit faced once.
This is like a year and a half ago.
And started DMing Lin-Manuel because he followed me on Twitter.
And I was like, fuck it.
One day this guy's going to unfollow me.
And it'll be like that time when it'll be like that girl that got away, you know?
That you didn't make your move and you forever regret it.
Which is another part of my psyche. You were rat-faced at the tip of his ascendancy.
I was just like, dude, you're the dude.
I can't remember exactly what I said, but I was just like, tremendous.
You are tremendous.
And we engaged in a little back and forth for a few messages,
and he told me that.
And I was like, boy, howdy.
I could die tomorrow.
Happy man.
That is incredible.
From the horse's mouth.
I could show you the exchange
Lin-Manuel Miranda
Is a horse everybody
He's very much a human
We want to correct that
Rumour that's been
Flying around the internet
To all the people
Who insist that he's a horse
Has a horse ever written
A smash hit on Broadway
Before
Yeah yeah yeah
Cats
Andrew Lloyd Webber
Wrote Cats
He is very much a horse
He is But what we're saying Is it's just limited To Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote Cats. He is very much a horse.
He is.
But what we're saying is it's just limited to Andrew Lloyd Webber. There are no other
horses who are out there making musicals. Is he really a horse?
Google it. You've picked up your phone.
Complete the task.
No, that wasn't a Google whether or not Andrew Lloyd Webber is
a horse. I remain pretty
confident in the fact that he is not
a horse. Well, you know
what? We'll never know we asked and answered
as we say on the podcast neither of those last two things you said are true which i respect
what what is your opinion of colored records like the one that uh james reed's flicking around
i own a few uh like i own a far side record which is uh like sort of half blotchy red and half blotchy blue, and I love it.
I think it looks fantastic.
I like them.
Far Side.
P-H-A-R-C-Y-D-E.
Oh, boy.
They're a West Coast hip-hop group.
I'm sure you would have heard of a few of their songs.
Yeah.
Runnin'.
Not off the title. Drop. Those are their two best-known songs. Yeah. Running? I don't... Not off the title.
Drop.
Those are their two
best known songs.
Righto.
I'll play them for you
sometime.
Sounds great.
We'll catch up over a beer.
Fantastic way to spend
a director's commentary
of this film.
We Are Your Friends,
a true masterpiece
of cinema.
What's your relationship
to the movie like now, Tim?
It is...
frayed,
is how I would describe it
in one word. It's kind of like... tim it is frayed is how i would describe it in one word it's kind of like
this movie is a friend who isn't a friend it's someone who insists on inserting themselves
into my life who i'm never ever happy to see but i expect them constantly you know what i mean
someone who i'm not at the level to just kind of draw the emotional energy together to be able to go dude i
i fucking hate your guts and i never want to see or talk to you if i'm not much mistaken recently
when you caught up with this friend you said hey dude i can't wait to see you an extra eight times
than is necessary i'm not talking about you and coded language i'm not talking about no you're
not talking about me but you know the framework
of what you're describing which is a friend that you don't really like yeah you are someone who
just looked this friend in the eyes and said that's bullshit you're mixing two things together
what that was about the penalty reflects that we committed a crime and you you need to pay
a crime penance for that it's too much penance for a crime that was barely committed
the crime was that we
left a little too long
between episodes
maybe a few days
too long
so I penalised us
with eight additional
watches
constantly though
I was thinking today
do you know the first
time we watched this film
it was in
it was during the
New Zealand International
Comedy Festival of 2016
and it was
feels like an age ago
in the Monte Cristo rooms
excuse me that's disgusting just a little burp on the microphone didn't pick up any of an age ago in the Monte Cristo rooms excuse me
that's disgusting
just a little burp
on the microphone
didn't pick up any of it
you're in the clear
we were running a pop-up
comedy venue
during the festival
and we watched it
in the bar area
do you remember that
and that seems like
to me
two people from the audience
went and had sex
in the bathroom
that's right
during the podcast
outside of the
context of the podcast
not even while we were
watching the movie
while we were watching the movie.
While we were delivering our comedy gold to about 30 people in a dungeon.
I said before that sort of back and forth,
so tits are tits, get people a little hot under the collar.
I think it's the fact that we both have these. Speaking of, is there some way that we could get a little hot under the collar right now?
My friend, for you, yes.
Brilliant.
Okay, very good.
I'll turn the heater on to 100.
Thank you very much.
Should we maybe flick the light on as well?
Should we get some more light in the room?
Nah, we're good for light.
Okay, very good.
So, yeah, I mean, fuck.
Let me drill into this a little bit more, mate,
current relationship with the film.
Have you got anyone in your life
who is sort of a constant annoyance but they're about
they're just about uh not necessarily there are i mean there are people in your life who
naturally colleagues or whoever who you uh mild well it's not even yeah yeah you just get you get
along with it you know you get along with everyone because life's easier that way.
But as a general rule,
if I had a relationship with someone in the real world
like I do with this movie,
Where Are Your Friends?
I would do everything I could
to get that person out of my life.
Tell me about it.
Tell me about it.
So that's this film.
It's like...
It's a friend you haven't built up the courage to tell to go
away you're not realistically it's not a friend it's just a fucking it's a person isn't it who
just thinks you know it's an it's an unbalanced relationship this movie keeps running around to
my place going oh let's hang out again let's hang out again i'm like oh for fuck's sake how much is enough never enough according to me you're right
exactly i like this scene every time squirrel is making love to sarah from the club who seems to
be quite a sexually confident and i'll say it very attractive woman uh and when they're having sex
in reference to the fact his nickname is Squirrel, she says, Where are those nuts, Squirrel?
Because squirrels hoard nuts in the winter.
Or do they hoard them year-round?
If anyone knows anything about this, surely it will be my friend who is well-versed in both bears and squirrels, Mr. Timbat.
Well, they say squirrels are the bears of the miniature world.
And if there's one thing I know about bears, it's that they hibernate during the winter.
So I imagine that their friendly mini furrens,
squirrels,
are probably on a similar track.
So during autumn or fall,
when all of the nuts are falling down,
they bundle them all up,
they eat some,
they put most of them in the bank.
Then during winter,
they fuck off to sleep for all season.
And then when summer comes
they're just chowing down on a little uh you know fruit basket for bears for bears to hibernate
they don't sort of store food do they they eat it and store it in their bodies they don't store it
in the pantry or anything that's right bears don't have a pantry but squirrels do there's probably
something about like the scale of everything you know like squirrels don't have enough mass to be able to put it away to sleep it do you know what i'm saying like it
works on a bigger beast but with a squirrel it's its frame is too small to store that much fat to
be able to surely do you know there's a known for the hibernation is fucking madness huh yeah
a bear goes away for months are you telling me that is fucking lunacy my
understanding is that they wake up occasionally so it's not just a straight coma for three months
but but they're spending like you know 90 of their time asleep for a whole season that is amazing
do you think that when they must,
surely their joints and their muscles would go crazy if they didn't.
Do you think when they wake up,
that 10% of the time they're sort of doing stretching?
I reckon they probably are.
I mean, it's what we do now,
and we only sleep for about a third of the time
that we're about, you know, a third of the day.
So it's about eight hours out of 24.
Cumulatively, for your entire life experience,
to be asleep for a third of it
seems like too much to miss.
Especially because my understanding is that
we still don't really know what sleep's all about.
A lot of theories out there, but no one's so sure.
My theory?
We want to get closer to the bears.
Really?
Yeah.
And do you think that that's propaganda
that's been planted by the bears,
or do you think that's an idea
that's naturally taken seed amongst humans?
I think it's biology.
There's no propaganda in biology, man.
It's just nature.
It's the indisputable truth.
Have you ever heard of a company called Big Biology?
Look it up on Google, Tim.
Tell me about it.
Tell me about Big Biology.
Pretty much, it is a propaganda PR firm
hired by the head of biology globally, Dr. Frank Lubinitz.
Famous, of course, for Lubinitz's theory of sleep.
Yeah, in which he says, sleep more to be like the bears, with very direct diagrams.
Yeah, weird dude.
Strange how he got that position to be in charge of all of biology across the world
it's weird how all the previous head biologists were maimed and killed by bears hey it's very
strange very mysterious back to this film that we just happen to be watching um i mean what can you
say i really like wound up for a big bit of commentary on what was happening I love that chair
there's a beautiful sort of 70s
or maybe even earlier style chair in the foreground
that is a weekly highlight
it's one of those chairs that you would see
in a furniture store and you're like fuck that looks like
a good chair and it's got a price tag on it
it's four and a half thousand dollars
for the one chair
and you're like who is buying this shit
James Reid from the feelers for the one chair. And you're like, who is buying this shit?
James Reid from The Feelers.
Oh, man.
I've really got very little to say about this movie.
It's something that I've spent so much time in the company of
that I am numb to...
Do you even remember growing up to do?
It's highs and lows
yeah
I can put the pieces together
I'm getting flashbacks
right now
when I look into the distance
mostly of Shaq
stopping a full tyre
with David Spade
inside of it
with his dick
it's so funny
that's a funny gag
you can see how
when they said that
I don't think
that was intentional at all
because he juts out his gut like it's going to stop on his stomach which makes sense if he's a big man it You can see how when they said that gag... I don't think that was intentional at all because he juts out his gut
like it's going to stop on his stomach,
which makes sense if he's a big man.
It's kind of almost a fat joke,
but it's just bad CGI
that they kind of missed the proportions or whatever.
Nah.
It just goes to show how tall Shaq is.
A normal tyre would hit even a tall man in the gut,
but Shaq's so tall it hits him in the dick
because he's too tall.
A normal tyre would not hit a regular-sized man in the gut, but Shaq's so tall it hits him in the dick because he's too tall. A normal tyre would not hit
a regular-sized man in the gut.
It'd hit them even higher.
If you think, like, say, a six-foot dude,
where would it hit you?
No, lower.
Think of how high a car is.
It'd hit your knees.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
Wait, so how does it...
Because it's like a tractor tyre.
Where does the tyre come off of?
It's just lying around the mechanics.
Yeah, these guys have got no respect.
No respect.
Would you rather spend time with the grown-ups or the fuckboys?
Ooh, top question.
IRL?
You mean like if the characters were real, who would I rather be with?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fuck, that is a good question, dude.
Are we throwing the gals in there or nah?
Nah, just the fellas.
Because if we're throwing the gals in there, it would definitely be the gals.
I reckon that'd be a lot of fun to hang out with for an afternoon.
Oh, sorry.
I thought you meant that is entirely my error.
You mean the Sex and the City
gals. Yeah which gals did you think I was talking about?
I was thinking of all the female
part you know. Oh yeah no we
had a second season dude. Yeah we had a whole
52 weeks of Sex and the City
too. Yeah we did.
Tell you what I have been trying to bury that
memory pretty fucking deep.
So um okay who
was it for you? Okay, my ranking.
I'm going to go first.
The gals.
Yeah.
Then I reckon probably Sandler and the crew.
Yeah.
Or Lenny.
Lenny, Fader and the boys.
Fader and the fade outs.
Lamonsoff, McKenzie, Higgins.
Higgins. Higgins.
Good on you, boo.
That was a weird bro.
But that's my order.
What's yours?
I think I'd go with
the grown-ups.
This might just be
because it's in the order
I've spent the most time with them.
But I'd go the grown-ups,
then the gals,
then the fuckboys.
Would you put the
the fellas ahead of the gals? The grown-ups then the gals then the fuck boys would you put the the fellas ahead
of the gals the grown-ups fellas yeah these guys aren't fellas they're fuck boys uh yeah i think i
would put the i mean but you know oh they're all as bad as each other actually aren't they
incorrect i mean the thing with sex in the city too is the setting and story and length were terrible oh okay we're doing
another picture um but the characters are like i would hang out with them i mean they've got a
whole canon of tv show which was pretty great to draw on for us to know that they're uh three
dimensional and deep and conflicted and interesting and funny and and you know that's very true but i was not i was
not including the tv shows canon i was right that's a good way to do this as a purist i was
taking the experience entirely from what i'd the time i'd already spent with them i still think
about this okay hold on let me ask you this do that like am i are they cool with me being there all three groups like if they kind
of invited me in are we sweet no you're right on the cusp of acceptance they're kind of like
okay so i don't know why my answer changes it's like i don't know why but this guy's hanging out
for the day he might be cool he might be dick in that case my order goes the fellas probably then
the fuck boys and then the gals which is a total i think you don't
think that you as you are would be accepted by the gals no man definitely not why not i'm in my
late 20s i'm a new zealander i'm just some weird dude if they if they were like oh it's it's it's
our friend crazy term we love him he's we he's. That's who you could be by the end of the hang.
Back yourself.
I don't fancy my chances of taking that on,
unless it was forced by some sort of magical spell.
And these guys, I think, would be fucking ruthless to a hanger-on.
But the fellas are like, they're from the burbs.
They're blue-collar workers.
They would find you a novelty.
Yeah, and they're used to making friends with just all walks of life, you know?
You could be their Schneider, dude.
I could be their Schneider.
Precisely.
I mean, Schneider didn't get a great time, but he had a place in there, you know?
I was re-watching an interview where all of them were on Conan with Norm Macdonald.
That is fucking brutal.
If that's the one
I'm
yeah yeah
thinking of
like there's a lot
of them on
there's Swartzen
Spade
yeah
it's all
oh it's all of them
except for
Kevin James
and Chris Rock
it's the heavy
medicine crew really
yeah
I'm trying to remember
no Kevin James
isn't there in that one
they're swapping anecdotes
and then
Robert Schneider's almost had his hand up for the entirety of the video.
Oh, my God.
Such is his enthusiasm to contribute.
It is painful to watch.
And then they go to, like, I think Conan generously is like, Rob, you got something to say?
And then he tells the worst story anyone's ever heard.
Yeah.
And wasn't it about, like, Sandler getting on a private jet or something?
And it's just like, dude, no, I give a shit.
This story is bad.
Yeah.
I think I have told you this.
I met Schneider.
I interviewed Rob Schneider.
How did it go?
It was fine.
I think I talked to him a bit about his...
This was fucking maybe before the podcast.
It must have been.
This must have been before the podcast kicked off.
It was when I was at Hauraki, a radio station,
which is now pronounced Hauraki.
And Rob Schneider was touring down in New Zealand for some reason.
I think I mainly talked to him about his Buddhism
because I found it interesting.
But then we cut all of that
for the interview that went on here.
There was like the time
I talked to Andrew WK.
I ever tell you about that?
No.
Oh my God.
You're a huge Andrew WK fan,
aren't you?
Yeah, I fucking used to love Andrew WK.
I would,
in my very, very early 20s,
I'd just listen to Andrew WK
and get fucking blitzed
and then go into town on
a friday and saturday that's when i was working like jobs that i hated when i was at office jobs
and i was blowing off the most steam anyone had seen and i was a fucking terror i was an absolute
terror but i interviewed andrew wk once and the thing about him is there's this huge conspiracy
theory online that he has been played by multiple people like he's this
character and i fucking quizzed him hard out about it and didn't get a straight answer out of him and
i've since come to the at the time i was like this is it the the dude is a fucking fraud it's a
character that multiple people have been and i've come to the conclusion that they probably love
people thinking it's a conspiracy theory because he's not that interesting a character.
But with this interesting dimension to it, more people get on board.
Otherwise, it's just a really fucking stupid party rock dude.
And so to this day, do you think it's good marketing or do you believe it's a conspiracy?
Probably both.
I think it probably is a different joke, but it's like, who gives a shit?
It feeds itself.
Who gives a shit?
And they're like adding to the mistake of never admitting it, but like dropping enough breadcrumbs that they're like, oh, no, it's not.
But it is.
Just to keep people on the hook.
No one gives a shit.
Well, I don't, at least anymore.
But they did a great job
in creating just the right amount of intrigue yeah well i didn't know who andrew wk was
till when now you'd brought it up no when you first revealed yourself as a huge fan of his
hey do this press your headphones right against your ears
it's so good in this thing because this is all about the music.
Yeah, dog.
And really look at the film and just say what you're feeling.
Okay, I'm feeling adulation, excitement.
I'm feeling happiness, joy.
It's exciting.
Yeah.
It's always good.
Do you know what?
I don't know that the um that the actual
visual accompaniment
is always earned
but anytime that
anything uses
classic cartoons
yeah
as a
as an insert
in its film
yeah
or a TV show
whatever
I love it
I love that
that old style animation
I always find it
satisfying
it always scratches
an itch
I'm always like
yes
is it nostalgia buzz
or is it beyond that
is it like
the aesthetics of it it's just the aesthetics and buzz or is it beyond that is it like the aesthetics
of it it's just the aesthetics and the idea of it i think how do you say aesthetics because i've
heard it being called aesthetics quite a lot recently those people i think are wrong yeah
that's my gut feeling as well man yeah hey back to the film sorry everyone quick detour into
andrew wk land we are at the party with the looking pool now at James Reid's house
to be honest
I noticed this about
10 weeks ago
I've never brought it up
but there are people
all through that looking pool
right now
I guess James Reid's turning
you know he's looking
the other way
as the weeks go on
no but they're just
dabbling their feet in right
are people actually
swimming in there
there's one
torso swimmer
I believe
okay
it's neither here nor there
anyway
oh look
we've milked
details
we've milked
all the use we can out of the looking but hey do i have a beer on the run somewhere is that a thing
that beer right there's got your name all over it on you dude truly a pleasure do you know what i
love and i've oh elsie is that her name yeah um i've got this rat in the studio with me handmade
by elsie handmade by elsie who is i think a fan in Wellington, who's a schoolteacher.
That's correct.
Who tuned up to one of our live events
in a self-made Brady the Rat King costume,
where she had all these hand-stitched rats on a coat.
Fuck, man.
That's what I love about this shit.
People making things.
You've got to love that.
You've got to love that.
It's crazy not to.
I think you've got to take a photo of us, buddy.
Is it time? Yeah, it was before before but we didn't take a photo oh we got so caught up in our chitter chatter
what we're doing everyone is we're chronicling uh for the online world um each hour we're taking a
little little picky to show where we're at it's only fair it would seem where'd i put that bloody
phone and in the film uh zeis fron is in James Reid from the Feelers studio
getting a pretty good nose in.
It's actually sort of,
if you think about it in terms of the movie,
it's a real sort of,
James Reid from the Feelers,
it's a real back-rubbing moment for him.
He's sort of saying to Zeiss Fron,
hey, I reckon there could be something here.
Come into my world.
I'm going to try and mentor you,
help you make music.
And now he's offering opinions to Zace Fron,
which is when you're really starting a professional relationship.
No, no, that photo's no good.
It'd be a huge breakthrough opportunity, I guess,
in the world of the film
for Zayce Fron
or Zicole
yeah I mean it's not
I guess
you know
when observed by itself
it's not necessarily
bad filmmaking
they're getting the job done
they're telling us
what's up
Tim's taking several photos
with the flash on
nailed it
they're fine
I nailed it everybody
nailed it
so yeah I think
this scene does it's job
until the end
when what James
from the feelers is doing
goes from being helpful
to being quite reductive in the context of making a song i know you got to be efficient for the sake of the
movie but i feel like it's similar to uh zicoly dragging around bars of music that say techno
near the start of the film it's kind of disrespecting the craft it's meant to be all about
what hour are we in three yeah cool dude everyone, for this admin that's bleeding onto the podcast.
You're all right.
We've done, I think, a pretty good job of hiding our admin
in this whole three-year journey we've taken with our audience.
You know, more or less.
Apart from when it goes horribly wrong and we must discuss it at length.
It's true.
Durcom.
Sorry, dude.
You keep...
No, it's all good.
Everyone's getting set to get wet, as my friend Tim Batt it's all good Everyone's getting
Get set to get wet
As my friend Tim Bat would say
Because everyone's getting in the pool
And everyone understands that reference
From a 90s ad about a water park
That only exists in New Zealand
It's a good ad though
It's really stuck with me
You know
It's just a good line
Do you know what always bothers me about this scene
So all of them except for Coley are wet from having jumped in the pool.
And they all just get in the car.
Sopping.
They never discuss that they're going to leave Squirrel's car all wet and smelling damp for the next week.
It's just terrible, isn't it?
It's an outrage.
I mean, I guess he lives in the desert or it'll dry out pretty fast.
But still, everyone's drenched.
It's a minor quibble, but a quibble all the same.
Quibble or quibble?
Quibble.
Oh, look, man.
If you start asking questions about words.
Ironically, what I've brought to the fray is whatever the thing is.
A quibble?
I think it's a quibble.
I've got no quibbles with you.
I have no quam.
I have no quarry with you.
Quarry?
Oh, look, let's not get caught up.
In the behind-the-scenes footage
when Zicoli said that Squirrel is his character's best friend,
I always thought just because of living together, I guess,
in my mind, I'd always assumed it's Jarhead.
Do you know what I mean?
I was assuming that of the group, those'd always assumed it's Jarhead. Do you know what I mean?
I was assuming that of the group,
those two had the closest relationship.
Yeah.
I mean, it's interesting because it's like you've formed an opinion of this
over the length of times you've been watching,
but you must have known from the first watch
that that was...
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, exactly.
That was proven wrong.
But I've maintained it.
And then that scene that we just see
where Squirrel and Zicoli share a joint
down on the water
and talk about
their feelings
or whatever
the fuck
Megan Oppenheimer
and Maximum Joseph
were trying to
communicate at that point
what were those
assholes smoking
when they made this
man I would love
a word with them
if only there was
some way we could
get in touch
I'll tell you what
I think
flick that light on mate
it's probably at that
time of the hour
oh god
that is a harsh light
isn't it huge change in tone it is are you not into it nah it's probably at that time of the hour oh god that is a harsh light isn't it huge change
it is are you not into it no it's okay i'll survive okay um so look so millie what to say
about her you know what's she doing at the moment do you follow her online at all or anything like
that no sadly not that time it was for 50 minutes not an hour what are you up to we were
10 minutes late posting this one good on you good math yeah i'm fast you sure i'm fast runner
a good guy he's the flash that's why they call him that that's exactly what they call me it's
a good backpack that zacky frond's got in this film i'm in the market for a good uh double strap
backpack at the moment because i've got one with one strap and I think it's given me quite a back injury
because I loaded up with quite a lot of weight.
The old single strapper.
The old single strap.
Really fucking me up because it's asymmetrical.
Yeah, you were telling me that actually.
I've got some back pain.
I'm always two strapping.
Now, what I am concerned about is
I've read recently online,
I think just sort of, you know, happenstance.
People talking about getting older, getting into their 30s,
and what they keep saying is the commonality is that they don't bounce back now.
So, like, hey, guess what?
You've got to be preventative.
If you've got back pain, you've got it now.
There's no way to go backwards.
So you've got to prevent getting back pain.
And now I've got it, so I'm like, dang, maybe I've got back pain now.
You're 30.
29 currently. I'm 30 in a month you
can still what should i do for my birthday get rid of your back party that's what you should do
i reckon on an ergonomic mattress if it's when you're 30 you've still got a month to correct
this back pain i bought one of them fence well i didn't my fiance bought one of them fancy
mattresses that comes in a cardboard box it That's a double brag for everyone at home.
Fiance and fancy mattress.
I was kind of using fancy mattress ironically because it's way cheaper than a normal mattress.
There's like a million companies making them now.
It's like Casper and all that.
You know they come in a cardboard box?
Casper?
Have you ever listened to a podcast in the last year?
Casper's everywhere, buddy.
I have not listened
to a podcast for a long time.
There's a bunch of these...
Yeah, you know what?
Who cares?
This movie's still going.
I care.
What's Casper?
It's a fucking...
It's a company with these beds.
If everyone else already knows,
then don't.
It's a company
that make these beds,
but there's a lot
of different companies
making the same sort of bed.
It's a good name
for a bed company. It's like... It's like what's make these beds But there's a lot of different companies making the same sort of bed It's a good name for a bed company
It's like
It's like what's happened is we've figured out a new way
To make beds and now all these different companies have popped up
To bank on it
And it's memory foam they deliver it to your door
And it's a bit cheaper than a normal
In a sprung mattress but it's comfy as fur
I can see why that company's going off
There's a lot of companies that's the thing
It's like light bulbs, right?
Someone invents a light bulb,
suddenly you got Philips
and fucking whoever else making light bulbs.
Who else makes light bulbs?
Panasonic?
I don't know.
Suzuki.
Sony.
Dell.
Yamaha.
All your main companies.
I only use Dell light bulbs.
BMW for me.
Man, they've got wheatgrass in this movie
We never talk about that
Never have I seen it before
Is that definitely wheatgrass
That is grown there
I reckon
I notice it every week
It's the kind of bonehead thing
You'd have in an office like this
They've got wheatgrass
And a bar of gold in this scene
Fuck bro
Imagine
Fuck bro
Okay maximum Joseph
Real paint by numbers approach
To character detail
Yeah that'll be cool They'll have gold and wheatgrass Max Joseph you fuck bro okay paint by numbers approach to character detail yeah
they'll be cool they'll
have gold and wheat grass
max joseph as far as i
know has got catfish and
that's it right in terms
of hits i think he's
popular online but by
virtue of his success with
catfish right because it's
like a show about online
behavior yeah i guess
fucking know what catfish is actually about i think i saw the movie when it came out at
years and years ago it's about uh you to catfish someone you create a false person online and you
lure them into some sort of relationship or and so the show is is them kind of peeling back by
visiting them in the real world and being like hey that hot 18 year old girl from california
is actually a 45 year old male who lives down your street
who you've been communicating with online.
I thought that they created the characters themselves
and then they'd show up and it was like a really dark vision of punks.
And they'd be like, hey, that person you've just been talking to,
that was us, you fucking idiot.
Did you think that's what it was?
Because I would love it if that's what you
thought it was
just let me live
in that reality
you can
it's a funny idea
the irony is
I want you to
catfish me
by letting me be
strung along
with a fantasy
of what you think
catfish is
man this is
Maximum Joseph's World
we're all just
living in it
ain't it the
fucking truth dude
yeah dog
tell you what
if there's any more
of that stuff,
one more stuff, please.
We are in a scene that is just getting me in the mood to party.
We're in a nightclub where there are all manner of people.
It's a real cross-section of society.
We've got...
Actually, it was weird.
Someone brought up once, a fan fan got in touch with us and
said you guys have never brought up this uh moment in the film where zuccoli encounters a uh transvestite
in the club and has a disgusted look on his face i'm gonna say whoever you are sending us that
message i think you're being a little oversensitive because that um awesomely dressed transvestite person who's at the club who's just fucking dynamite like
dynamite threads there's not a lot of attention paid to that feature on screen i'm not even sure
that we see zicole's face afterwards to be honest with you and as somebody's seen the film 40
something times i feel like i'm speaking with experience when i say they're not
painting they're not drawing a big line under that jesus christ i'm that person are you all right
mate yeah i'm good okay have we broken a chair are we cool hey i tell you what i think we're cool
these chairs i got these two chairs and that really comfy couch for 50 bucks i remember when
you made that purchase.
I was happy for you then.
I'm happy for you now.
I had fleas.
Yeah, the clouch, as I call it, was a liability.
I call it a clouch because the L stood for liability.
All the fleas are gone now because I bombed the fuck out of them.
Man, it's a shame that's the only way to kill fleas.
Just bomb them.
Yeah.
It's called a flea bomb.
Yes, it is.
This guy knows it.
Fuck.
There's always been the worst anecdote.
Hey, fuck you.
The water fountains.
Yeah.
The fountains debacle.
It's either a bad anecdote or a bad bit of script writing,
but either way, someone should be crucified.
That is a good bit of fucking detail, though.
There's a shot of... They really pay attention to people calling people on zack's phone hey so um so coley gets a
phone call for and fuck it pains me we never find out what the subject matter of the call is but he
gets a call from jahid and it comes up with this caller id where there's a photo of jahid pulling
the fingers to him and actually now whenever guy
montgomery the man to my right calls me i i got the same photo of him and now it comes up with
him am i pulling the fingers every time i call you oh not anymore actually because i had to get
my phone repaired because i've fucked up the screen at a bachelor party but so now what am i
doing nothing it's all wiped it's all factory default but let's recreate
that photo let's get
that back in the mix
yeah let's do it man
let's do it
fucking hell what
have you what in
terms of we've seen
this movie a lot of
times what do you
think the moral is
supposed to be like
what do you think
they were intending
it uh this is
maximum joseph's
fountainhead by
ayn rand uh
follow your dream you've read recently.
I've never read it.
Not recently.
I read it ages ago.
You read it like a year ago, right?
That's recent.
No, that would have been like three or four years ago.
Excuse me.
Pretty much it's just saying, hey, just do you.
Capitalism rules.
And that's what Maximum Joseph is trying to communicate here.
Do you reckon that-
No, there's no real-
Apart from squirrel dying,
which none of them seem to be affected by,
there's no real consequence for anyone's actions in this movie.
You're fucking wrong.
The moral of this whole film is supposed to be
follow your dreams and be steadfast in following them.
That's the same thing as-
Every fucking movie ever?
And Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead. Oh, okay. Ayn Rand doesn't get his heavy hand- This film doesn't get so self-righteous, them that's the same thing as every fucking movie ever and on runs the phone right oh yeah okay it
doesn't get as heavy hand this film doesn't get so self-righteous but pretty much it's like
hey other people are gonna fall by the wayside but you do you it's bad news
like what does the coley learn what the fuck does he learn he fucks up his friend and mentor's
relationship yeah he commits a hate crime right now by punching a guy after calling insinuating What the fuck does he learn He fucks up his friend and mentor's relationship Yeah
He commits a hate crime right now
By punching a guy after insinuating that he's gay
Like he just fucks everyone over
In the company he works for
Do you know how you deal with misogynists
Accuses them of being gay
And then punch them in the face
Yeah dude
Way to be woke
But there's no consequence
He's a bad guy
in this film
but because of how
good looking
I guess
Zay's front is
gets away with it
with those pretty eyes
he gets away with it
they are pretty eyes
though
give him that
I'd give him one
and worse yet
they haven't even bothered
to make Somaly
pretty eyes
they haven't bothered
to make Somaly
good or bad
she's kind of ambivalent
isn't she
it would well I don't know nah she's good to make Somaly good or bad? She's kind of ambivalent, isn't she?
It would... Well...
I don't know.
Nah, she's good.
Yeah?
I think so.
I was going to say
it would be way more fun
if they made her a villain,
but in actual fact it wouldn't
because then it's just a movie
with like six dudes
who are terrible
but presented as heroes
and the one female is a villain.
So at least with ambivalence it's kind of
a more complete character in some ways i mean people are complex they're not heroes or villains
in the real world uh yes but i would argue that somaly is not a complex character i don't know
what i don't know what her motivations are at all what does she want out of this movie
I don't know what her motivations are at all.
What does she want out of this movie?
Fucking good.
Fair play to you, man.
Well, she goes back to school eventually.
I feel like she... We don't even know what she's fucking studying.
No, no, no.
Whoa.
You have dropped an anvil on me, dude.
We've seen this movie a number of times.
And if I had to say that number out loud, 45 sounds right.
It's more, I reckon.
I think it's 46, maybe.
Maybe more than that still.
But we've never ever, I don't think, talked about what does she want to learn?
Like, what does she go back to school for?
Much in the same way the screenwriters and creators of this film,
Megan Oppenheimer and Maximumoseph have glossed over uh such
sort of trying to get into details so have we i think i reckon law and i don't know what i'm
basing that on it's not a bad guess people like learning about the law even when they don't know
what they want to do with their lives they don't study law and the clues that we've got uh she
is like a pa so there's a lot of kind of technical paperworky
stuff yeah and she's she seems like the kind of person who's in charge of doing the contractual
obligations i like that i like that detail you know and that's that kind of lends itself to a
technical legal someone with a an ability to be persuasive yeah that was she's going to university to be hot you don't need a degree for that my
friend i was trying to think of a gag to undercut the serious tone i'd indulged him but uh i wasn't
impressed with how i thought you did pretty good all right let's go to a music festival in las
vegas nevada you've been to nev No, I've got no real desire to go there.
I don't think it's for me.
Oh, man, I love gambling.
That's why I could never go to Las Vegas.
Is that how much you love gambling,
that you wouldn't take yourself to Las Vegas?
Absolutely.
Though, my brother's been to Las Vegas,
and he said it's fucking fun,
just in terms of an entertainment destination,
because there's so many shows and stuff on.
Yeah. I would love to go and catch celine dion in the 37th year of her 25 year contract to perform music in los vegas she's still going i would imagine so she's
surprisingly young celine dion yeah well she yeah because of you know she is mama's still alive
you told me that the other day it shocked me to my
core because i i think i started following sheer on twitter after she tweeted something real funny
about donald trump i was like this is the the the um what do they call it the medium is the message
today you ready okay let's go the hunt for the wildest movie of the summer everybody
ends here this is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately
borderlands now playing
this is funny because it's coming from sheer this the message itself isn't inherently funny
but the fact that it's coming from Cher is hilarious to me.
So then I started following her,
and it turns out her dear old mum, who's in her mid-90s,
still going.
Tremendous.
Ain't that something?
Anyway, sorry, I think you were saying something pertinent.
Nah, I highly doubt that.
I have quite often found this scene passable at worst.
I think that they do a pretty good job.
Well, they're just so good looking.
And the notion of these two good looking people being on drugs.
Yes.
And getting excited that they're going to hook up with each other.
You know, they represent it pretty accurately.
You can see them right now getting boners, respectively.
Kissing on the mouth.
It's a good kiss.
Powerful kiss.
It's a good passionate kiss.
And now they're about to go
and run around,
which is what everyone does.
I don't like the headband-y thing, eh?
It's neither here nor there, man.
I don't like that he's wearing
a singlet that says LA on it
when he's in Las Vegas.
I find it infuriating.
I don't like his necklace.
It's kind of a cool typeface though
what else is going on here
oh look we got billboards
we got LED lights
we got a big old
ferris wheel
lit up at night
we've got
what the fuck
is this thing
is it like a monorail
like an indoor monorail
thing
it looks like a gondola
or not
a ferris wheel
sort of gondola like the london
oh is that fuck in my head you're totally right man that's a ferris wheel you're on
in my head it was more like a transportation thing like a monorail like a monorail like
halfway between a monorail and a gondola it'd be a pretty funny thing to do a gondorail
hey we're really high on drugs in las ve. Let's go get on the monorail. Fuck yeah.
In homage to this episode.
Written by Conan O'Brien.
And starring Phil Hartman, R.I.P.
Yeah, long may he R.I.P.
Okay.
I don't know if that...
Long may he not be reanimated into this mortal coil.
Yeah, stop reanimating people from the dead
it's crazy stuff i'm looking at you whoever brought back walt disney
god damn we're really up against it we're doing some dancing is what we're doing now
the christmas tree thing we never got to the bottom of heart there's two of them both of
these characters to suggest that they have financial problems
and then to rent the most expensive hotel room that has a grand piano in the corner
has always been confusing to me.
It just feels inconsistent in the story.
Like, commit to the details.
They're in the honeymoon suite for sure, eh?
Or maybe it's just the fancy hotel.
And do they have sex right now?
You know the old saying.
Riddle me this, Tim. You know the old saying riddle me this
Tim
you know the old
saying guy
hold on
at what point do you
think that they're
having sex
this is more
important
alright alright
fair enough
okay
I'm looking for it
he's still wearing
his jeans as far
as we know
that
he's never
taken his jeans
off
you have to be
showing everything
you don't
you are the reason
you just have to see him take his jeans off.
Guy Montgomery, everyone listening,
I'm not even talking to him anymore.
He's still sleeping in his jeans right now.
I'm not even talking to him anymore.
I'm talking to you, listener.
Guy Montgomery is the reason bad movies get made.
But we have to be led along the garden path,
hand in hand,
showing every single thing on film.
No, that is wrong.
Every single conclusion wrapped up for us neatly
because we can't do the goddamn mental arithmetic ourselves
to get from point A to B.
They're in fucking bed together.
She's digging her nails into his back.
They're on bed together.
He was shirtless the whole time.
He was wearing his jeans the whole time as well.
Well, then let me get an old one out of the closet
and dust it off, Guy Montgomery,
because you are a real piece of shit.
Yeah, I sure am.
But you've got to do something to pass the time.
Well, ain't that the truth?
There's one thing this podcast has taught me.
The sands of time, they will keep falling
no matter what's happening around you.
It doesn't matter if you're watching a film or if you're not.
Time is the constant.
Time is in all of us.
Letting the days go by.
What song is that?
I don't know.
It's something about the talking heads.
Oh, yeah.
I know the song.
Yeah.
Yeah, you like it.
That's their, like, biggest song, isn't it?
Might be.
Could be.
Should be.
And it was used in their campaign for a shortly lived New Zealand TV series,
I think based on two people being in purgatory, maybe?
How did a project about two people being purgatory go over the line?
I think I made that up.
Yeah, you've got to have made that up.
I think I made that up.
That's crazy talk to me.
Oh, boy.
Do you wear the dressing gown when you're in the hotel room?
I don't. No? I. Do you wear the dressing gown when you're in the hotel room? I don't.
No?
I can tell you that from recent experience.
I was in Portland, Oregon a couple of weeks,
like a week and a half ago, something like that.
Great hotel room there.
Yeah?
Is that the Hotel Deluxe?
All right.
Shout out to those guys.
They upgraded my room because no one's there at the moment.
I was fucking stoked.
Hey, man.
We're really up against it.
And there was a lovely looking...
I just like...
Other people have worn it.
I'm not...
I don't need that.
I never think about that.
I think about how cool it feels.
Oh, do you put it on?
Yeah, I walk around in it.
Are you a dressing gown dude?
Not in the house.
Oh, you leave to...
Wait, what's your vibe? are you coming from i only wear
dressing gowns in hotel rooms if they have a dressing gown i'll be you better believe i'll
be wearing it gotcha gotcha i'll be walking around role-playing what kind of role play dude
yeah close the deal we'll sell it for a million i love it do you have a big old cigar in your
mouth and a very old motorola that's got to flip out and an antenna you need to pluck and raise up from the phone?
I have a very, very large cigar in my mouth.
And I carry a rotary telephone.
You gave me those photos of Spider-Man on my desk by the morning!
Exactly that.
That's the guy.
That's you.
Yeah.
That's what I'm like in hotels.
On the street, pretty regular respectable respectable
guy do you reckon um that peter parker spider-man and clark kent superman would ever like get
together because they're both journalists in the print field which is a dying medium now i think
uh the idea of them being at the same media conference or like
gathering of the press at the same time i think that is highly likely whether or not they
ran into each other i don't know not for me to say one's marvel and one's dc that's the problem
so it's hard to get those very difficult to get them in the same room but oh it's not unheard of
there's marvel dc crossovers especially in the video game world
but more to the point
I've got a new question for you
how
do you reckon
Superman gets drunk?
uh
no
I think
oh he might get a buzz on
I don't think he ever gets drunk
I think he could put away
like an infinite amount
of human beers
like a thousand beers
and he'd be a tippled
yeah
and he'd be like
he'd be having a good time if he Like a thousand beers and he'd be a tippled man. Yeah, and he'd be like, he'd be having a good time.
If he drank a thousand beers,
maybe, but...
I think he could drink
like 24 beers on a night out
and still be good to go.
Yeah, but some humans
can do that.
Not like good to go,
but some people can do that.
Scottish people mainly.
Okay.
Boy, they're good drinkers.
Increase the number.
50 beers.
Even more, I reckon.
This is a guy who could
fly against our gravity he could he
could drink like 500 of our beers yeah but he'd be drawing attention to himself at that point that's
absolutely true and i think exactly what he wants wouldn't it be good if you're a superhero spending
all your time you know doing unfun stuff to just like go to a bar and pound piss and impress
everyone with your piss drinking abilities
can i have 500 beers please does everyone want to gather around and watch me drink them
because i'll do it and then i'll melt all the bottles of my laser vision which i also possess
you plebs i'm gonna kill all of you with the you are about four plot details away from getting a
you know a contract to write the new Superman flick. Oh, I've just
described the plot of that one
that Will Smith was in.
Hancock. Yeah, exactly.
I think. I can't even remember if I saw it.
He's going to be the genie in Aladdin.
Yeah, I heard. That's cool, man.
Do you reckon Will Smith's had work
done? Because I've been seeing him recently and I'm
like, your face, man, your face.
I haven't uh
seen anything with will smith involved in it for ages what about a suicide squad didn't see it
fair enough not for me tanya romero is really up against it now she uh no yeah i afford to pay off
the mortgage on her house and now zeiss front is about to discover that the company he's working for,
Gold Star Realty Solutions, should actually be called Gold Star Realty.
Fuck you.
We're about to destroy your life.
Because that would be a more accurate representation of what the company does.
You can't always put your name on the tin like that.
It doesn't always work.
No, it's marketing 101.
Yep.
But his reaction to this is not to do anything apart from feel bad
until he puts the money in his shoebox.
Is that not wrong?
What are you talking about?
His reaction to this, the fact that the company he works for is not a good company,
it's not anything.
It's just like, oh, well.
No, he feels terrible.
Look at him.
His ass darting all around the room.
And he says,
he says,
yeah,
page,
surely we can do something.
Oh,
fuck.
How do I not know the script of this film by now?
Cause we can't interface.
But there was always true.
It was true of the other two.
And I,
I,
I mean,
I got pretty fucking confident with grownups too,
to the point where we put a script together
that vaguely resembled the finished product.
But this movie.
This movie right here?
This film.
Too hard.
You see the chandelier?
There are certain details you remember.
I think if we really put our minds to it,
we could put together more or less.
What an amazing use of our talents.
What a phenomenal conclusion to putting together
the collective genius
of Tim Beck and Guy Montgomery.
You know, you've got to have
something to work towards. It's all about deadlines.
And fusion.
I still don't know
how he earned $15,000
from being in that room.
Okay, so...
Touch money.
What do we know?
What do we know?
Let's do the math.
He reckons he's going to get,
what did he say,
$350,000, I think,
for the house?
Would he pay for it,
like $40,000?
Yeah, not a lot.
So that's...
You can...
Telescope it out, man. I can it out man i can't at the bottom
at the bottom it'll go longer let the ground do the work for you guy okay let me explain something
dude i'm good to go guy's microphone is on a stick he has generously and selflessly agreed
to hold the stick the whole time because i was struggling to figure out how to make it work
otherwise when we were setting up.
But the thing is, he's doing
the hard work. We could make the stick
longer. I like doing the work.
It's a monopod. I like rolling my sleeves up
getting down in the trenches.
It just blows my mind.
We've been here for hours
watching this film. We've only been here for as long
as the movie's been going, which is barely 45 minutes at at this point let's pretend that that's true for a second it's still
a long time to hold a stick to your mouth hey it's been on the ground for a while life's all
about balance who do you uh like the best in this movie the backpack i told you you like the backpack fuck yes it's good looking it's
functional it's helping can't say that for a lot of the characters in this movie which backpack
zach efron's when did you tell me that many times before i don't know i thought it was this watch
maybe it's all starting to it's all starting to um you know bend into one
fucking i'll tell you what though i do enjoy this moment every week i love that how quickly he cuts
both sides of that cake that will always sorry sorry everyone to fill you in what's happened
is is uh james reed from the feelers and somaly have come home from james reed's birthday
celebrations presumably at a highfalutin la restaurant where somaly i assume has booked months in advance um they've gone out for a
lovely dinner they've come home he's a bit chopped and then he's just fucking shooting his mouth off
about what poor service he's received and then like is railing and then goes into the fridge
and there's this gorgeous birthday cake there and he's like oh i've been a bit of a dick and
somaly's put all this work into trying to make my birthday yeah you know a. And he's like, oh, I've been a bit of a dick. And so he's put all this work into trying to make my birthday,
you know,
success.
And he's like,
I know this is his internal monologue folks.
I know how I'll rescue this.
I'll be fucking into this cake.
So he just,
he just fucking holds it.
He cuts himself a slice.
He grabs it with his hands.
He just starts eating it.
He gives a bit to,
to,
um,
to Zicoli.
Zicoli's all over that shit.
It's just,
it's like,
it's cake fest. Fuck summer shit. It's Cakefest.
Fuck Summerfest.
Cakefest is the shit.
And I love it every week.
I love the twists and turns.
You're not wrong.
It is an often enjoyable moment
to see them cake in hand.
And I tell you, Alice Sneddon, I think,
was the one who really tipped me off to it.
She laughed herself pink when they ate cake from the hand when we watched it with her.
Why?
Because she's like, why are they eating?
She found it disgusting.
Oh, that's the hilarity.
Absolutely.
I remember defending it at the time.
I'm sure you did.
I could see how they felt.
Man, the movie's really struggling along now,
so they do rightfully insert quite a large amount of conflict.
And it's about time that they address some of the simmering tension.
Or lack of, but do something to generate tension.
You can't just have these bad people plodding along, getting their way.
Something has to come in their way.
And it does, in the form of one of them having maybe had sex with one of their partners.
This movie's fucking crazy, isn't it?
When you get into it.
Isn't it crazy, dude?
Yeah.
I look forward to 50 years from now, people watching this movie as an obscure piece of pop culture.
And just being like, what was really...
No one, and I mean this hand on heart,
no one will be watching this film in 50 years.
Not a single human.
That can't be true.
Okay, let's go back 50 years from now.
What is it, 2017?
267.
Was that 77 Or is it 67
67
77
67
67
Yeah boy I got it
Boys had a head for sums
Just ask my father
Steven
Don't ask him
Mid 60s have you been watching?
Uh, I don't know.
I haven't even watched the hits, let alone the misses.
But you would have watched weird movies from every era that you might not necessarily remember.
Nah, dude, I'm exclusively a blockbuster kind of dude.
It's just the podcast and solid gold hits.
Is that true?
I mean, kind of, in a way.
Unless they're sort of, you know,
genre pieces that are successful in their genre.
But I won't seek out a movie that's failed,
which is what this one did.
You know what I'm saying?
Good movies fail, though, and rise to be successful.
Oh, The Room actually is probably an example.
But I would call that a genre film.
It is.
The genre is bad films,
but it's very good in the genre.
Bad films is a genre.
It's very popular.
For what its title is,
people are surprisingly into it.
It's because we've just gone so far
inside of our own assholes
because we haven't had a world war
in long enough that we
now celebrate only two things.
Things that are ironically
Do you say ironically
bad or ironically good? Like if you were describing
the room. Ironically bad?
Yeah. It is bad ironically
or it's like ironically enjoyable.
You watch it ironically. Ironically enjoyable
and nostalgia. And I tell you what. You watch it ironically, yeah. Ironically enjoyable and nostalgia.
And I tell you what, there's no way to live.
There's no way to create art.
It's unsustainable.
It's gross.
We need more earnestness.
Do you know how you get more earnestness?
World War.
Bring it.
Come on, North Korea.
It feels like a very, very grand sort of way to cultivate earnestness.
Two to ten right there.
Yeah.
In a step.
That's intense.
Can I just immediately, and I don't often do this on the podcast,
immediately retract and apologize for the comments I made moments ago.
It's been a long day.
Yeah.
And it's probably going to get even longer.
It definitely is, because this movie will keep going.
And so will we, in some way, shape, or form.
Ain't it the truth.
What do you think about this scene?
Well, here's what I think, guys.
They're in a sushi bar all four
of them two of them get up to pursue a romantic interest on a whim and it doesn't go anywhere
and i always want to meet the girls that they're chasing i want to see how the interaction goes
down i'm so interested by what possibility the film is open and they never fucking deliver on it
instead we get this half-baked pseudo-philosophical chat
from a fucking burnout DJ who's just been punched up
by his former mentor that he had sex with a girlfriend of.
And screw it.
Maybe.
A barely fleshed out character who we found out went to university
from a fucking behind-the-scenes press junket interview
with an entertainment channel.
I mean, for Christ's sake, this scene shouldn't be in the film.
But if it is going to be in the film the cameras are on the wrong two characters we should be right now staring at
johnny depp and fucking jarhead either striking out or successfully chatting up two beautiful
women in the valley at a sushi restaurant but i'm just looking at two assholes who i've seen for the
last 45 weeks unsuccessfully try and pull off some kind of deep and meaningful.
Oh, that was so articulate.
You surprised, I'm sure, even yourself.
And I got to tell you, I couldn't have asked for a more honest response to what was a pretty simple question.
Couldn't agree more.
So this is always fun.
The house.
couldn't agree more hey so this is always fun the house yeah i always enjoy this for the idea that jarhead is truly losing his mind at this point in the film his lines are delivered spectacularly
well yeah like uh what do you give a man who has everything pulls back a mirror just more of that
man that is yeah fucking don't it's good also because it's interesting in the
question is it um is jahid the character has he prepared these lines for each room he shows his
friends or is he improvising the lines in the moment and flow and you know as a performance
artist that man is in flow right now he isn't even aware of what he's doing it's too genius
That man is in flow right now.
He isn't even aware of what he's doing.
It's too genius.
He doesn't.
What are the other things?
Oh, he just walks into a room, bangs on some of the drywall and goes,
Cole, this could be your studio.
Simproof the walls.
Wide-eyed.
We cut to another room.
It's brilliant.
And this party's fun as well. It does drag me along Just by virtue of someone else's hard work
Which is the people who put together this track
Yeah
They're riding on the coattails
It's a pretty common trope that they use in the movie
Where are your friends?
It's like, oh, we need people
Playing a banging hot track
We need the film audience to film something
I know, we'll cash in on the hard work of a different artist
Musicians
And why wouldn't you?
I'll tell you what though
I am dancing along right now
Yeah
It's good every week.
But it's nothing to do with what the film's
done, I don't think. It's just the song's a banger.
And also
they give the subtlest of hints
here. I didn't pick it up the first time I watched
it, but Squirrel kind of
is pestering Johnny Depp quite a lot through the
movie for more, not movie, sorry
this party scene, more drugs.
And if you just watch
it in passing the first time you're like yeah whatever the guy wants drugs but then the more
times you watch it the more you're like this guy they really wanted to make sure everyone knows
that squirrel's taking too many drugs i don't know if i'm with you on that actually i only know one
time when he gets a pill of johnny depp is it multiple or is it just that one he does drugs but he's like
Johnny Depp tells him
at one point in that scene
hey nah man
and then Squirrel
pesters him again
and Johnny Depp
gives him some drugs
well fuck
it'll always be funny to me
they sing
Santeria by Sublime
and it will also
always be funny to me
that there are people
on the left hand side
of the screen
still at the party
I finally saw them
I think that might be
the first time I've seen them.
You've told me about it a number of times.
And it's a man and a woman.
Yeah.
How about that?
A real success for gender diversity in the film.
The two people on the other side of them.
A man and a woman.
And a barbecue now.
Love that.
I wish we had seen them barbecuing.
Yeah.
I don't know that they use the barbecue.
I think it's more of just a party prop. We never it is a party art department we're like we'll put a
barbecue in there and then maximum joseph and megan oppenheimer would have been like but we haven't
seen them barbecuing and the art department would have been like yeah but we already spent the money
on the barbecue like do we need to have the same conversation just because we don't see the penis
going to the vagina doesn't mean they haven't had sex. If we see a barbecue, the insinuation is they have grilled.
Okay?
Hey, he's got a bullet necklace.
Yeah.
I've never seen that before.
Of course he fucking does.
Next to a tattoo of a male lion.
Well, that's what I've been looking at every other time.
I've never noticed the necklace he's got is a bullet.
What they're trying to very subtly establish
is that Jarhead is an alpha male. All right. I've finally got a the necklace he's got. What they're trying to very subtly establish is that Jarhead is an alpha male.
All right.
I've finally got a piss.
It's happened.
I'm amazed it took this long, to be honest, as long as we've been watching the movie,
which is roughly an hour at this point, I guess.
And Squirrel is wearing, as if not to emphasize the fact he might like drugs enough,
board shorts that are covered in marijuana leaves,
and a cosmic sweatshirt that shows sort of a ripple in the galaxy.
Anyway, the boys generally week in, week out,
do a pretty good job of freaking out and reacting to the fact
that their friend is overdosed on drugs.
I actually don't mind this part.
It's when they cut at the funeral, which becomes i think cloying i would like to see them sit in the shit for a bit longer i don't
think that happens enough they've kind of got their shit together by the time they're at the funeral
but in the immediate aftermath of squirrel a character that we're meant to have enjoyed and
got along with and rooted for throughout the film a sort of uh a central focal point, I guess,
in terms of Ziccoli's relationship to the real world is dead at their hands,
as we've emphasized before, and they just go to the funeral
and get on with it.
It's not enough.
But, hey, what would I know about making a movie? Not enough. But hey, what would I know about making a movie?
Not much.
I'll tell you the funny thing about this room.
The funny thing about this room is that there's no air circulation
and it doesn't smell as good as outside smells.
That's for sure.
Outside generally doesn't smell.
Oh, it depends what outside you're dealing with.
If you're at the farm, it sure as hell does.
I'll tell you that, mate. Fair dink depends what outside you're dealing with. If you're at the farm, it sure as hell does. Outside, hell yeah, mate.
Fair dinkum.
Bloody cows and sheep.
You're one of the least
rural people I know.
I know, and it pains me.
Oh, that's not my beer.
What's that?
Another different...
Where did I put my beer?
Oh, fuck, there it is.
Get it together, Timbo.
Christ.
Jesus, on a popsicle stick
I've got to say, the fact that Paige does send a text there
Obviously it serves the character well
But that's a bad guy move
You've got to do more than a text
He's a former employee
You should know him personally
Oh sorry, the guy who died
Yeah, I got you
Don't just text one of the other guys
What is the appropriate way to deal with, you know,
close friends of someone you employed dying,
who you also employ?
I think who you also employ, it's probably, you know, to...
Send around a group email.
Say, look, it brings me, you know,
it is with an incredibly heavy heart that I have to let the rest of the
office know that one of the
Gold Star Realty Solutions team
passed away over the weekend
this is a time
for
mourning we would like to extend
our
what do you call it?
Condolences.
Condolences to his friends and family.
And what else do you say?
You say, look, I'm really sorry this happened to you.
You go to the funeral.
You don't just send a text to one of your other employees being like,
hey, I'm sorry that that person died.
That's just not what you do.
And also, fuck these guys.
I don't even care that they're fighting.
You should be fighting.
You're both baddies.
If you have two baddies, I don't know, baddies would get along.
Some of our goodies should get along, right?
What?
Well, the idea of it. One goodie, one baddie. Well, like, if there are two baddies, I don't know, baddies would get along. So my goodies should get along, right? What? Well, the idea of it.
One goody, one baddy.
Well, like if there are two baddies, in my head I'm like,
of course two baddies wouldn't get along because they're baddies,
so they wouldn't like each other.
But then I'm also like, oh, if they're both baddies,
they could be baddies in the same way, and therefore they would get along
in the same way two goodies would.
Two goodies will get along.
Not always.
A goody and a baddy won't get along.
Wait a minute. What two goodies don't get along?
It's just possible for...
Oh, Captain America and Iron Man.
Do they not get along?
No, that's the whole plot of Civil War.
Yeah.
Well, you know, you've got to put something in your movie.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
But, you know, it's reductive of me to think that all baddies get along
Of course they don't all get along
They've all got their individual agendas
Often that's what makes them a baddie
In the first place you know
Their individualism
Which makes it so interesting that we lord capitalism so much
What I like in comic books is when the baddie
Starts off with good intentions
It's always the best isn't it
i'm always like oh you got me again i can't even think of a good example of that you got me again
with the twists and turns um apparently in the watchman the the baddie and that is like you know
sort of good intentions gone awry i don't know know. It's all... Magneto...
We don't need to get into this.
Look, the film's still going.
Where we are right now...
Here's something I'd like to say.
Yes?
Aside from the detail.
Let me...
Hold on.
Let me paint a picture
before you get into that.
We're at a point in the film
where Zac Efron
has cheated on James Reed's girlfriend,
gotten the shit kicked out of him
by James Reed,
and has now returned to James Reid's pad to apologize to him
while James Reid wears a heavy net.
And also confessed that his friend Squirrel has died.
So he's sort of looking for guidance beyond professional,
but sort of just like support in some place.
And what I've always wanted to know
is the name of the song that plays in this scene
because it's not in the OST.
Is it not? No. it's not in the OST is it not no
um
it's not on the track
it's not playing right now
it's not listed anywhere
no it is
it's kind of like
oh it is
real quietly
it is still playing
it's quite somber
it's almost Nick Cavey
but it's slightly more upbeat
or
you know
just less morose that line's always shat me where they always serve fair trade organic it's slightly more upbeat or just less morose.
That line's always,
shat me,
where they always serve
fair trade organic.
It's lazy writing.
Yeah, it really is.
They haven't even done anything
with the thing.
They've just said a thing.
That is a line that juts out
and you're like,
that's a real,
we'll punch it up later one, eh?
Yeah.
Fucking hell, man.
You can really notice those.
A vegan cafe where they all
serve only serve fair trade organic there's huge problems stuff missing all over there is because
tell us what okay let's do it let's dig into this so what's the line of dialogue she's she's at a
she's looking north hollywood is that even a place? She's at a cafe that only serves fair trade organic.
Vegan cafe that only serves.
She's at a vegan cafe that only serves fair trade organic.
Now, first of all, you've given me a number of adjectives on what they serve, but not the noun.
And people in real life don't fucking talk like that, do they?
Nah, man.
Maybe it's because we're not in America.
Maybe that is how they talk in California.
Well, it doesn't sound very Cali-fun to me.
Are we having Cali-no-fun? If that's the way everyone speaks in California. Well, it doesn't sound very Cali-fun to me.
I'll be having Cali-no-fun if that's the way everyone speaks in California.
Which, in my experience, it isn't.
It's not a maladoo, that is a maladota.
Correct, amundo.
One thing that they do provide Ziccoli with
pretty steadily throughout this film
is a good supply of weed
and they don't suggest
whether or not
it serves him well
or badly
I mean in the sense
that nothing goes wrong
for him really in the movie
I guess it serves him well
but they're sort of
always plying him with that
with weed
yeah and it's
dying most of the time
he's always turning to weed
it's because it's in California man
they got
they want to
they want to cash in on that cool...
They want to get money from the big weed lobby.
No, they just want the film to appear cool
so people will go and see it.
And how do you do that?
By something slightly naughty but kind of legal now,
which is weed in California.
We've got to bring back that dog ain't going to hunt.
I've been trying to find a way to shoehorn it in for the last 45 seconds,
and it just hasn't happened for me.
But it was a great saying, and we've got to bring it back.
To watch this movie with the idea that chemistry will eventually surface
between Zeiss, Frond, and Somaly,
let me tell you this, Tim.
That Dog Ain't Gonna Hunt.
To persist with this film into its 46th outing and expect a different outcome,
i.e. a better film than the one you got last time,
tell you one thing for free, folks.
That dog ain't going to hunt.
I tell you what, though.
You will watch it try and hunt week in, week out.
Because if you don't...
You're not fulfilling the promise of the premise.
And that is paramount.
As I've always said.
You have always said that.
Fuck, man.
Who runs with those big, chunky headphones?
Fucking no one.
It destroys the suspense.
Who puts their, like,
if you're wearing these sort of lightweight shorts
and you put your phone in your pocket,
it's going to bounce around.
It's going to be a real freaking nightmare.
Hold it in your hand.
Yeah, absolutely. I don't care about the aesthetics of the film. your phone in your pocket. It's going to bounce around. It's going to be a real freaking nightmare. Hold it in your hand.
Yeah, absolutely.
I don't care about the aesthetics of the film.
I want to see a true-to-life representation of what it's like to go for a run
with a phone and headphones.
And I've got to tell you,
having chunky-ass fucking earmuffs
hanging around your neck
while you run around in the heat,
that ain't accurate.
You've got little earbuds in.
If your phone dies,
you pull them out,
you wrap it up,
you hold it in your hand.
You don't put your phone in your pocket
and your headphones around your neck.
That is the least effective use of space
I can imagine.
At worst,
you would hold your headphones in one hand,
your phone in the other
and deal with the cord in front of you.
Maybe bunch it up in one hand.
Never what is represented in this film.
The crazy thing is as well,
is I could be wrong here,
but okay.
Pioneer have thrown some money at this film
to get the Pioneer DJ Fest in there.
The headphones he's wearing,
if I'm not very much mistaken,
are Sonys.
And I even think I know the model number.
MDR 700s.
They've been around for fucking donkeys they're cool
headphones but maybe that's why he has stickers everywhere to protect the branding that is uh
not a bad theory i've had a pair of sony headphones which look similar to those
i think oh maybe they're not the ones i was thinking of actually now i'm looking at them
that this film helpfully provided me with some very close-up headphone shots. It's entirely possible he has a pair of DJing headphones
and a pair of running headphones.
They look like some real munched-up Sonys to me.
Equally needlessly chunky.
I don't even know if Pioneer make headphones.
The idea that we trust Zac Efron's character,
Zacoli,
to make a high-quality song at this point in the movie,
beyond the fact that he has to because he's about to play a big DJing gig,
is ridiculous.
I have absolutely no confidence in his ability to make music.
Has your timer gone off in the last hour?
No.
Crazy.
What is your concept of time?
I have no right idea.
No earthly idea.
You're not far off.
Cool.
Dutch angle on that.
Do you reckon that was intentional?
So the shot that we're seeing is Zac Efron running in the mid-ground.
We're quite a distance away from him,
and the background's kind of like power lines and fields and shit.
But it's on a very
jaunty angle and I don't think they intended that
I think they just fucked up the shot and then we're like
well that's what we got so that's what's going on
in the movie
who gives a shit about
our constant ramblings
not me why is anyone still
here you know easy on
boy give yourself some credit
we've been in this room for
four hours
oh no
not quite
three hours
I don't know
one and a half hours
how long is this movie
I think about one and a half hours
I think this is hour four they're eating up to
you okay you sick at the thought of it
intensely that's okay
look at this point in the movie you're meant to be excited for the opportunity
um but to be excited for the opportunity.
But to be excited for the opportunity, you have to care about it.
And I don't know if I've re-emphasized this point enough throughout this watch of the movie,
but that's something that's very difficult to do at this point in time.
Also, at these moments in the movie when Zicole is meant to act overwhelmed by meeting people, extras, or cameo appearances or whatever.
There's definitely cameos, and we just are not cool enough to know who these people are.
But what I really like is the idea that everyone's more likely to be like,
holy shit, that's Zac Efron.
But that's acting for you.
People pretending to have different feelings from what they have in real life.
Do you reckon Wes Bentley would make a good Wolverine?
Certainly a relative of Wolverine.
Sabretooth?
Is that a real character?
Who is related to Wolverine?
Uh, yeah.
And the way that, what, a Sabretooth tiger and a wolf are from the same genus or something?
You got it.
You got it, boy.
Are all people related?
Yeah, dude.
You just gotta go far enough back.
Hey, man, that's beautiful stuff dude preach
it man that's the truth baby hey man hey come on baby i like this character look me in the eyes
vaguely jazz man i fucking love you brother all right no worries dude all right i'm open to you
i'm open for you oh no not 24, not this again. 24-7.
I've met this dude.
Walk through the door, come on in, have a look around.
I've met this gentleman before. Make yourself at home.
Uh-oh.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Put your head on the coat and then put your coat on the hook
and then take off the rest of your clothes.
I want to see you naked.
Exactly right.
Ten times out of ten.
I want to see your stuff jangling around.
Do I make myself clear?
Perfectly.
Yeah, crystal.
It doesn't mean I'm going to do it.
It just means that I comprehend what you're saying.
Oh, crystal nuts.
P.S.
Crystal nuts.
That's a good name for a stripper or something, isn't it?
That's my stripper name.
Crystal nuts.
And in the red corner, my stripper slash boxing name that's my stripper character it's a boxer
i'm not allowed frustratingly it's a very specialized talent that i'm not
hypothetically do you know it would be? The thought of having to watch this movie
a third time in a row after this.
Hypothetically, which of course we won't do, but that.
That is a crazy idea to me.
And I would like to articulate to you more clearly
the problem with my very specialised style of stripping.
This light is harsh.
To box, I must strip. And to strip, I must box. my very specialized style of stripping is that this light is harsh to box the movie's harsh
I must strip
and to strip I must box
and I'm allowed to do
neither of those things
at the other's
place of practice
my true passion
cannot be satisfied
it's so weird you bring that up
because I
just this morning was on
YouTube
ever heard of it? no I haven't was what happens on youtube well there was a video
they put together of all adam west's moments on family guy because he passed away last month i
think and one of them was uh there's like a skit where where mayor west the mayor of Quahog. Mayor West. Mayor West.
That made the cut.
That one made the cut.
He comes back.
There's some confusion.
He comes back.
He's talking to Peter or Lois or something.
He's like, something about, oh, that dry clean is not open right now.
And Peter or whoever says, there's no dry cleaners.
It's a dance club.
And he says, oh, that explains a lot.
And then it cuts to him and his dry cleaners just fucking like rocking out.
And then the phone goes.
He goes, I love this song.
Such a simple gag, but it's really well executed.
His voice was really tremendous, huh?
Yeah.
I kind of didn't realize, but you watch all those Family Guy clips,
you're like, Adam West had an amazing timbre.
Yeah.
God, what a cool fucking voice.
Unlike any other.
Really cool.
So cool
I can't believe the hubris
I don't think there's anything cooler than a cool voice
Don't you think?
I fucking love a cool voice
Who else do you think has a cool voice?
So like a lot of old British
Like Jeremy Irons and Tim Curry
Those dudes like
Oh my god unbeatable
Classic voices
Even to an extent like your Rowan Atkinsons and your John Cleeseys.
You like those voices.
I like the Brits.
And fair cop to you, as the Brits would say.
We're coming to the conclusion of the movie,
and I feel like I should be happier than what i am
it's okay this is the director's commentary after all and we've wow we've been wildly off course
i think we did our job i'd like to say this i still can't believe that zach efron's character
cole carter would think that him playing a recording of his friend who just passed away
of a pretty banal conversation.
And obviously he feels the gravity of it because he knows that his friend recently passed away.
But the audience have no context for this.
He's just playing them snippets of his shit fucking chat with his mates.
Not wrong.
And the idea that everyone's going off.
It's bullshit, man.
It's unbelievable.
Hey, I'll tell you one thing, though.
I forgot he had a last name.
And in light of the fact that it's Cole Carter,
do you reckon that's a reference to the nanny?
Because there was that character Cece Babcock?
Yeah, I reckon Maximum Joseph and Megan Oppenheimer
were definitely tipping their hats towards...
To Fran Dresser.
Yeah.
And whoever that British guy was.
And Niles. Whoever whoever that British guy was and Niles whoever that
also British guy was
or was he American
something's ringing
and I don't know what
because I thought I
turned everything to
flight mode
it doesn't matter though
because we can't
oh is that your thing
yeah it's the timer
I got it
you did good kid
thanks buddy
alright alright
well we're just
documenting the journey
folks because we're
we're at the end again this is the end that's not the truth my only friend the end all right
zach we get it a lot of doors making the doors making some big bold appearances
at uh tim and guy's podcast Emporium this week.
I watched that Dustin Hoffman movie, Mr. McGorham's Wonder Emporium.
Didn't mind it.
I like Dustin Hoffman.
I like his energy.
I'd like to get a meal with him sometime.
Why do you always get multiple options?
Trust the process Because I'm not using the selfie camera
I'm using the main camera
It might not be framed up right the first time
There was that a great comedy answer for you guy
And you're so glad you asked
It was an all time classic
Honestly though that flash has blinded me
And I can barely see what I'm doing on my phone
It's intense Honestly, though, that flash has blinded me and I can barely see what I'm doing on my phone.
It's intense. For someone to love.
They have no, apart from their physical chemistry shown when they're at the music festival in Las Vegas,
these guys have nothing to suggest that this relationship will go the distance.
Someone to love.
This song is a fucking banger
This one's a good track
I could be someone
I gotta say
And that's the title that's come up
It says where are your friends
It says directed by Max Joseph
An unconvincing display
From Max Joseph, Megan Oppenheimer
It all this week
That's all you baby
that image
this has been a real journey
this director's commentary
has been anything but
a director's commentary
and I am almost apologetic
for that but not
because
for us to sit through
another watch of this
in our current circumstances
at this point
I think is
borderline fucking heroic
you know
we always shirk that title
when the the good people who listen throw it at us but i'm not going to shirk it anymore i'm a
fucking hero and you're a hero and we're heroes in this together watching a movie i like where
your head's at champion us did you text that to me no i sent it through the wonders of email
Did you text that to me?
No, I sent it through the wonders of email.
Classic.
So it had full fidelity.
Fun fact, everybody.
If you send an image through Facebook, it'll lose some of its quality.
That is neither fun, but also a fact.
Is it?
Probably a fact.
Who's to say?
Credit sequences.
I love that.
Zac Efron just on drugs at the party, nodding his head left to right.
Here's an interesting fact about this.
I heard, I can't remember where I think I read it online.
I heard I read it online somewhere that it's not actually,
the original edit, it's not actually cash in that box.
It was a dog turd.
Holy shit.
But you don't get to see it in the edit. You don't get see her reaction where'd you hear that i can't remember it's crazy mate
maybe some interview maybe it was the same way that we found out how squirrel went to college
because it's not referenced i fucking i know that we've probably picked over the bones of that a
little bit before but the necessity for you to watch the bones of it the necessity for you to watch junket interviews
to understand the plot of a movie is in some ways quite avant-garde
and almost not ahead, but about time.
It's a credit to driving people to online.
That's what the people want.
It's like if you want to see the movie, see it.
If you want to get the movie,
watch all of the associated materials we've put out.
There is a website.
There is a Twitter account.
There's an Instagram.
There are several interviews with the E! channel
where we drop very essential plot points
for you to understand the movie through.
Movies are like jigsaw puzzles.
I didn't get an email from you for what it's worth.
Oh, boy.
I'm sorry about that.
That's okay.
I don't want you to have to drag this onto the
bloody party. That's not what we want at all.
We want all of our
admin to be done invisibly.
Oh my goodness.
Oh man.
I gotta tell you this.
I'm gonna take a wheeze.
Well now we're in
an awkward zone aren't we?
Oh actually I'll wait for you to do your job,
then I'll do my job,
and then we can both be free of the burden
of watching this movie.
I know, I know, I know, I know.
I don't know the words, and I'm mic'd up.
It's the most embarrassing circumstances.
It's about as bad as anything can go.
Absolutely.
I'll tell you what, now that I've got my email open,
there is so many emails Absolutely I tell you what Now that I've got my email open There is
So many emails
From
People wanting to get in touch with us
Isn't that charming
Very much so
Hold on
I wanna
Oh
It says I'm not online
That'll do it
Guys gotta piss everybody
Really
We need to
We need to sort this out
Nah it's okay
It's not an urgent matter at all
It's urgent to me
Baby
We got a good credits
Roll going on at the moment
Lot of names up there
Do you want me to do some shout outs to them
Yeah be good
Hey I gotta say to Alex
In the Kitchen Incorporated
I heard some horror stories
About what happened on set
But shout out to you guys
for doing your best with what you had and that's all anyone can do in this world to the transportation
captain slash coordinator jerry robbins man you gotta learn about google maps because i gotta
tell you going analog was a real fucking hindrance to the entire production process
i mean i respect the idea that you know your way around the state, but frankly... Just before you go to exit your bladder,
just give me a confirmation that the technology is holding out.
Man, I got an email from my friend Tim back.
That's great.
Okay, that's tremendous.
You go sort that out.
So, everybody, you're back in the capable hands of one
Timbly Spindly Wimbly.
Hey, I love this.
Remixed and additional production by Tiger and Woods.
That's funny. That's on one of the tracks, which is called Need Your Lovin'. I love this. Remixed and additional production by Tiger and Woods.
That's funny.
That's on one of the tracks, which is called Need Your Lovin'. It's the Tiger and Woods remix.
Hey, shut that door.
Moths, get in.
It's nighttime now.
That's just me yelling at Guy, everybody.
You don't have to be too concerned about that.
A lot of tracks being used in this film.
And I do understand that this was a pretty low-budget movie.
I think it was less than
10 million dollars and i oh fucking shutterstock is actually shouted out and the bit called archival
footage provided by and getting images oh my god this is a stock footage film i thought that
director and writer's commentary was just a goof but it turns out it fucking wasn't.
Anyway,
my point is,
I've forgotten what the point was.
It's gone.
But,
I'll tell you one thing for free.
We're doing the movie again. Ow!
This movie's still fine.
There's a colleague who passed it.
One of the guys,
that guy's screw.
One of them's a hothead
His name is Jay
One of them looks like Johnny Depp
And his name is Johnny Depp
Classic Maximum Joseph
You forget that films are supposed to have a point
Today
You ready?
Okay, let's go
The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer
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