The Worst Idea Of All Time - Domore 1: Digital Fur Technology
Episode Date: March 21, 2020The fellaz take a surprisingly long amount of time to start talking about Dolittle after their first watch of the Robert Downey Jnr epic. Discussions on cinema temperature and how nice it is to be in ...a dark room eventually makes way for disappointment at everything in the movie that comes after the intro cartoon. We learn not to mess with Disney and Guy reveals his juicy inside info. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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We have no choice but to embark on this perilous journey. It's all good. Yeah, we're sweet. Yeah, absolutely. We've just watched Dr. Doolittle for the first time in a cinema.
As forecast, you have to excuse that, we are live in the time zone as advertised.
That's great.
A cinema.
This is Gonzo Film Reviewing.
Unto ourselves.
240 seats in that cinema.
I counted, and there were two people in there.
One was me, and the other was Guy Montgomery.
That's right.
We pretty down-the-line sort of cinematic experience initially.
At some point, Tim and I got sick of each other,
so I went for a little wander.
You got sick of my banter,
but then I just bantered loudly at you from across the cinema.
That's right.
Which is very, I don't know if cathartic is the right word,
but satisfying to just be able to bellow rude shit
across an entire 240 seat cinema.
That's right.
That you haven't spent money.
We paid $11 for these tickets because it's a Monday and we got the whole cinema to ourselves.
It was so satisfying.
Almost good enough to justify watching the film, but not.
You can hoop and holly.
You can make inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times about inappropriate moments without fear of retribution,
either that you feel within yourself, like what you might describe as shame,
or from those around you.
And, I mean, this is the movie itself.
I think it speaks to the film that we are not talking about.
Well, we will address it.
But it's a fun – what was sort of, you know, it was hanging
over me as quite a long Monday is already quite a fun day.
Yeah, I really like the, this is the thing about going to the movies, you can't get away
from the fact that you're just in a nice dark room for a bit, for like two hours, and you
don't have to do any work.
Yeah.
And that's cool.
They regulate the temperature, so it's just about pitch perfect.
I always take a sweat of myself when I go to the cinema.
I just don't like to get a little bit too cold.
You don't want to take the risk.
Well, they can be colder than you think.
I've been in the odd cinema that has been too cold.
I went and saw, I think it was Rogue One, and the air conditioning broke,
and it was a packed cinema, and it was very sweaty.
Too hot.
Way too hot.
That's more of a rarity to my eyes.
So those are two things that can go wrong when you go to the movies.
The other thing that can go wrong is sometimes the movie's bad.
That's right.
And sometimes you do know this or you expect this.
Sometimes you don't.
Yes.
In this instance, I think we were somewhat expecting the movie to be bad.
Yeah.
And in that respect, the movie delivered.
You're damn right.
We had expectations going in, and they were met.
Well done, everyone involved.
This movie was very confusingly bad.
It actually started off very well, I thought.
Very well indeed.
Yeah, really strong, efficient storytelling.
The opening gambit is animated in sort of an old-timey cartoon book style.
Like an old Disney, sort of a Cinderella Disney style.
The fantastic sounds of Emma Thompson narrating over the footage
as she very neatly sets up the story.
What we have is Dr. Doolittle as portrayed by Robert Downey Jr.
There's a man.
Or a cartoon of Dr. Robert Downey Jr.
He's smart.
He can talk to animals.
He fell in love.
The woman died at sea.
And that's it.
And so he could talk to animals. They fell in love. The woman died at sea. And that's it. And so he could talk to animals.
They tried to do Up.
Initially, yeah.
And they got pretty close.
Up worked so much harder than this.
Oh, of course it did.
Up essentially laid out a six to seven minute short film at the top of itself.
Which was the entirety of human life.
Dr. Doolittle probably made an entire movie,
realized that they hadn't established why everything that was happening was happening,
and then wrote a two-minute short story to begin it.
That two-minute short was good, and I liked it.
And then as soon as we crashed into live-action filming,
real life, I was like, put me back in the cartoon.
You felt robbed.
That was cool.
Just quickly before we move on to the actual story,
an important detail within the animated opening is that Lily Doolittle,
which was his wife's name, and Dr. Doolittle, Dr. John Doolittle,
they set up a sort of a large scale, what would you call it, a refuge?
Like a sanctuary.
A sanctuary, an animal sanctuary.
So they'd accept all animals.
They would come and visit them, and they could heal them.
They could live there safely and happily.
And at the death of his wife, his beloved,
John Doolittle becomes this sort of eccentric recluse
who no longer accepts new patients.
He will no longer talk to people.
He's let himself go.
He's got a long beard.
His hair is scraggly and unkempt.
He wears clothes that are terrible.
And there's a pretty...
So in the cartoon,
there's a scene where it has, very similar again to Cinderella,
all of the animals dressing Dr. Dolittle,
like putting on his scrubs, putting his coat on,
getting him ready to go into surgery.
Is it Cinderella?
It's Snow White, isn't it?
Snow White.
Sorry, you did wrong.
Come on, brother.
I know.
Fuck.
This is the big time.
I know.
You're going to go out there throwing out the wrong disney movie i'm blowing
it here we only get one shot to film in the time zone hopefully we get two more i don't know uh
i don't know how comfortable they are with us being here to be honest but luckily for us this
entire cineplex is empty that's right sometimes it's good to be in new zealand so in the real
when we cut to the real life one,
then they do the getting his clothes on scene again.
And I was like, they're just doing Iron Man,
but a shit version of it.
They really were.
And that sort of rings even.
You know, it's like the hand goes into the glove,
the foot goes into the boot, the animals are assisted.
Which echoes of insanity,
considering that Downey Jr. has just walked free of this franchise.
Absolutely.
And everything remains somewhat on track, though.
They introduced CGI pretty early.
Before we actually get to see Doolittle in the real world,
we watch this young boy and his family,
his dad portrayed by Chris Finch of The Office fame.
Finchie!
Squeal, Billy, squeal!
Disgusting man.
And the first CGI animal we see,
because CGI plays a huge role in this film,
is a little squirrel in a tree.
And as soon as we saw the squirrel,
you said CGI is obsessed.
What did you say?
Oh, I said that digital effects artists
are obsessed with digital fur technology now.
We are getting not just films,
but entire franchises being lifted on the sales of
digital fur technology everyone in hollywood right now who works in a studio is sitting on a big pile
of money like smorg and they're going get me the most accurate digital fur technology everyone's
obsessed with these little hairs and the fact that we can do them on a computer now what is it all for cats this it's a
bad idea and we need to stop looking for excuses to do digital fur technology you know how long
it's a fucking cult man you know eyes wide shut was supposed to be an allusion to this underground
cult that is sex cult that happens in hollywood i think that exists and it's turned into this
church of digital fur technology it's a sort of more platonic fur-oriented cult?
Ironically, you want to know who's to blame?
Probably Sir Peter Jackson, a New Zealander,
for kicking off this whole fucking big old boner
for computer digital effects in cinema again.
Well, anyway...
You know who was good? Spielberg.
He knew how to use a puppet.
Was E.T. a puppet? E.T. was a puppet. You better believe it. Jaws? Yep. He knew how to use a puppet. Was E.T. a puppet?
E.T. was a puppet.
You better believe it.
Jaws?
Yep.
No way was Jaws a puppet.
Jaws was a fucking puppet.
It was the 80s, man.
It was the 70s, wasn't it?
Yeah, maybe.
There you go.
Were they going to make it on a Commodore 64?
I think not.
I always get scared.
I always shake my boots when I veer into technological conversations with you.
You all-knowing, all-seeing freak of nature.
So this young boy is hunting with his parents or his dad and his brother
or his uncle and his cousin or some bizarre combination of family
that is vaguely alluded to but never properly illuminated.
And he loves animals to the point that he hates the hunting.
And when he's meant to shoot at the ducks,
he deliberately pulls the gun away and shoots into the air,
accidentally in doing so clipping the aforementioned squirrel,
who he then feels terrible about.
He's pretty hard out, actually, because this little boy sets up
how much he doesn't want to hurt animals, and his dad's like,
we hunt, it's who we are, we shoot birds and shit.
So we've got this big dramatic scene, and he's shaking in his boots,
lining up the shot, he throws it to the side and shoots.
And then we've got the wide shot of all the ducks flying away.
It's like, great, all the animals are safe.
The boy did a good job.
And then he fully nailed the screw.
Yeah.
Fully got him.
To be fair, he's a hot and cold actor, this young kid.
And I don't want to be criticizing anyone under my own age.
No, to be fair, under 18, I think.
But the guy has no control over whether or not he's doing a good job or a bad job.
In this instance, he does a good job of conveying remorse and feeling badly.
Of all the things we could be talking about,
I don't want to take pop shots at this young buck's acting chops.
Well, he does a better job eventually than the young girl who winds up acting opposite.
This is brutal.
I thought she was also about 13 or 14.
She got cast in a high-budget Dr. Doolittle franchise film. It's a movie. This is brutal. I thought she was also about 13 or 14. They're fine.
She got cast in a high budget
Doctor Dolittle franchise film.
You're in a movie.
They're good.
If you're in a movie,
you act.
We know they've got the good,
like trust them.
It's good.
You want to take pop shots
at anyone?
Let's talk about
Robert Downey Jr.
for 30 minutes.
Well, here's a guy
who shows up to work
and experiments
with the way
a human voice can sound
every single second of the day.
Good God. I feel like he has
too much power. That is what I feel
like. You know when
there's kind of that meme of
going to KFC and you
hold up a chicken nugget and a picture of a chicken
and you go point to the bit of the
chicken where this is from. I want to hold up
a global map and get
Robert Downey Jr. to point to where his regional accent is from. I to hold up a global map and get robert downey jr to point
to where his regional accent is from i feel like he doesn't have enough fingers on his hand
the guy is literally taking from everywhere and i respect it i can only describe it as
mrs doubtfire at like 70 effort no one but then jican as well. No one had the confidence to tell him to do one voice.
Yeah.
It's like, I just, I can't help but think he showed up and everyone thought, well, it's Robert Downey Jr.
He knows what he's doing.
Yeah.
You don't tell, you know, you don't direct Robert Downey Jr.
I'm going to concentrate on these kids and let Robert Downey Jr. do what Robert Downey Jr. does.
This is the good thing about Disney, the mouse, the mouse's
house, the Iron Mouse curtain
grabbing these Marvel films. Because you don't
fuck with Disney. Disney's got
balls. They get directors who come in
and swing their dicks around and they don't get intimidated
by the likes of Robert Downey Jr. with their crazy
voice ideas. Yeah. They lay down
the law. They say, this is what Iron Man
sounds like. It makes for more...
Oh, you can walk through. It's okay. you uh they they make more consistently you know serviceable films or films
that meet a certain like their their floor is lower but their their ceiling is also lower like
i would it's more exciting to see it becomes exhausting of course because you don't understand
half what the guys say absolutely but it's more interesting to see him doing that than just that sort of wisecracking.
It's also very difficult to figure out
what his...
There's backstory alluded to in this,
and I feel like if we knew where he was from...
Is it Liverpool?
Is it Scotland?
They reference the University of Edinburgh.
I think to ask anyone to tell us
exactly where his voice is from
is asking too much of that person.
I will say, growing up, I remember there was a tattered copy of Dr. Doolittle in a bookcase in my house.
Yeah.
And you're right.
And that was not to myself, by the way, for those of you listening along.
We're just ushering people in.
We're just sort of letting people know that they can enter the toilet, which is located directly behind the camera.
We have positioned ourselves in a fantastic location.
What would be described as a main thoroughfare
if there were more than four people in the cinema.
So, and it's like,
I think this speaks a lot to the era
and location of the film.
Like it looks sort of...
Oh yeah, because when are we?
It was like the house was like 19th century.
The houses look like the 1600s
no i think it's a little bit later than that yeah they're all stuck i quite like like
again and i feel like we always come back to this when we're talking about these high budget films
that are sort of storytelling failures but set our department set dresses costuming i mean they
all had a lot of fun they got given big paychecks they were like this is where we tell our story yeah and they did
it was a very
sumptuous
film
you use that word
it's a fucking nice word
say it
sumptuous
yeah how do you spell it
S
U
M
P
don't know
I
I go T U O U S
you know one of those
double U's
yeah
double U's like where it's got a U and then an O and then another U yeah I go T-U-O-U-S. You know one of those W's? Yeah.
Double U's.
Like where it's got a U and then an O and then another U.
Yeah.
Sumptuous.
Sumptuous.
Anyway, they've done a fantastic job,
and you can't take that away from them.
You can't take that away from them, Robert Downey Jr.
Try it, though you might.
The rest of the film, it's not irrelevant, but it's like... No, it is, I think.
This is a costume film.
This film, I feel like they really were making a play to set this up for a franchise.
Because there is...
Basically, the cinema-going experience for Guy and I was hearing an animal, of which
there's about 20, and going...
Who's that?
James Corden.
Emma Thompson.
Who else? Yeah, for reference, James Corden is Emma Thompson, who else?
Yeah, for reference, James Corden is actually not in the film.
But he was in the trailer for Peter Rabbit.
And he was in the trailer for the new Trolls film.
Hopefully alongside the McElroy brothers.
I thought it was Tiffany Haddish.
No, that Trolls movie, that's world tour.
I think they're in Trolls 2.
Which is already out.
Yeah, I think it happened.
I haven't done the research.
Me neither. I really should know that. It was not Tiffany
Haddish who voiced the goose.
It was Octavia Spencer. Oh shit!
Having a whale of a time. Yeah,
fucking A. Everyone was having fun on there.
I actually would love to get up some of the other cast
members because... People did a good job.
Kumail Nanjiani was there.
He had a lot of fun. Rami Malek was
Chi Chi, who was the gorilla.
Oh!
Emma Thompson.
I was trying to place him the whole time.
That would never have occurred to me.
Polly the parrot.
John Cena was the voice of Yoshi, the polar bear.
Kumail Nanjiani was Plimpton, the ostrich.
Uh-huh.
Octavia Spencer was Dab-Dab, who I assume is the goose.
Yeah.
Tom Holland.
Just hold your mic a little because the cable's coming in and out. There we go. Unreliable cable was Jip, who I don is the goose. Yeah. Tom Holland. Just hold your mic a little because the cable's coming in.
There we go.
Unreliable cable.
Was Jip, who I don't remember who that was.
Jip.
I don't know, man.
Craig Robinson was the squirrel.
He had a sort of almost comic.
A lot of these actors had almost comic turns.
What were the reliable laughs that you got out of the movie?
There were a few.
Sprinkled amongst it, there were a few laughs to be had.
I'm trying to remember. There there was i laughed like twice i have a funny feeling antonio bandera
said something funny but i can't remember what it was didn't write it down either i wrote a few of
them down um i thought that something smells wrong the dog says this something smells wrong
and that's coming from
someone who loves butts
loves sniffing butts
loves the smell of butts
yeah
and then
that's a movie that knows
what it is
who it's for
and there are
flashes of this
amongst what is otherwise
Robert Downey Jr.
can't let
whoever says that
have the line
and goes
you do like butts
yeah
Robert Downey Jr.
steamrolls anyone else
having a good time
anyone having a shot at a laugh or a moment Robert Downey Jr. steamrolls anyone else having a good time. Anyone having a shot at a laugh or a moment,
Robert Downey Jr. will kick down the door
and interrupt proceedings.
Can I ask you this?
Do you think that the trailer represents the movie we just saw?
No.
Fuck, man.
Let me say this.
I don't think the movie we saw represents the movie we saw.
Confused?
Somewhat. Something about the pacing and the editing I don't think the movie we saw represents the movie we saw. Confused?
Somewhat.
Something about the pacing and the editing and the hint at scenes that you see 10 seconds of,
which you know went for minutes,
it's very weirdly put together.
And then it just kind of ends out of nowhere.
I can't really articulate it, but the rhythm of the film didn't work at all.
The pacing's really weird.
I just constantly, things were just happening.
Nothing mattered.
And then it just ended.
The boy, for example.
So at the start of the movie, you're like, okay, a lot of this movie is going to be about the boy. It's going to be a romance story between the boy and for some reason she's not a princess
even though she's...
Rose.
Yeah, Lady Rose
who's the daughter of the queen,
reigning queen of England
who has fallen ill from poison.
Actually, the whole plot
of the movie is doodle
and it's got to find
the antidote for the poison
for the queen.
The queen has been poisoned by...
An advisor.
Yeah, a cunning advisor
who's next in line
for the throne and the clarity
of that story and the very plainly painted villains within it is to be commended yeah
because it's a kid's movie yeah which cats was not for the record well it depends who you ask
um so we spent a lot of time with the kid up front he's the first character we see on screen
we're like it's the kid it's all about the kid um i even hesitated with the kid up front. He's the first character we see on screen. We're like, it's the kid. It's all about the kid.
I even hesitated that the kid was going to gain the gift of speaking to animals
to the point that Doolittle has it, which sort of happens,
but not in a magical way.
He just kind of academically learns it as the movie progresses
to set it up for a sequel where he grabs the reins,
like Spider-Man and Iron Man.
It's suggested that there is a something it's there's this there
is a magical quality to being able to speak to animals like he but he sort of learns it
poly sort of pegs him and says to him you're special in a way that no one else is i felt
like there was a bit of a tease though because because then he goes oh my god i can talk to
animals i'm doing it right now and she's like no i'm a parent that can speak english i'm the
shit i know but then he winds up talking to the other animals.
Him and Doolittle.
Doolittle, it feels like there's kind of a magical quality to it.
Like he's so articulate with the animals.
It takes so much effort to look effortless.
And also, these motherfuckers should meet Eliza Thornberry
if they think they're the only people with that ability in the world.
The point I was trying to make was.
And between you and me, something amazing happened.
It's all set up for us to spend time with the kid
whose name I do not recall.
But then...
Stubborns.
As soon as Robert Downey...
Very good.
As soon as Robert Downey Jr. kicks down the door,
it's the Robert Downey Jr. show.
And he has got to be the smuggest, most selfish actor
that's ever been on a screen.
And to be honest, it's kind of what this role required
because it's so weird and flamboyant.
It's very similar to Johnny Depp's role in the Pirates franchise
to the point where I was like, I think this is just an audition tape
for him to take Johnny Depp's role in Pirates now that Johnny Depp's cancelled.
What?
Pending further investigation by the public at large.
Jesus.
It's a giant claw machine.
Why is it vibrating?
Firing itself up.
Oh, my God.
And this claw is giant, by the way.
For those of you who cannot see, which I imagine is everyone,
we're talking about a claw that would be four to five times the size of the claw
in the Toy Story franchise.
It could pick up my head, my whole head.
It's called the giant claw.
Danny Jr., Jack Sparrow, sorry, at least his voice was consistent throughout the film. You're a good man. It's okay The Giant Thor Yeah Downey Jr Jack Sparrow Sorry At least his voice
Was consistent throughout the film
You're all good man
It's okay
Thanks
Like
I guess you put him in a movie
Because you want to see him right
Yes
But then you
You want to see other stuff too
You want to see a movie
Yes
So
This doesn't have that
This is just him
Doing
The strangest accent
It's so weird Oh it's kind of fun He sort of goesest accent. It's so weird.
Oh, it's kind of fun.
He sort of goes,
It's okay to be scared.
It's fun for him.
It's fun for him.
Maybe it's fun for you
because you're like,
I would have fun doing this.
Do you know what it feels like to me?
It feels like he showed up
on the first half set
and he was excited,
he was free,
he had a lot of creative power,
he could do what he wanted
and he did this voice
and it came out
and he wasn't totally in control of it.
He hadn't thought about it.
He's like, I'm a good actor yeah this is a big a big
budget franchise there's nothing to worry about here i can show up i can have a bit of fun i can
be myself i'm no longer under the iron curtain of disney let's have a party right he started doing
the voice and the voice sort of got away from him and he was like okay and then he showed the next
day he's like well i'll just steady the ship i'll get the voice consistent on the second day and
then once i've got that going you know i'll settle into the rhythm and he didn't quite get it.
And then it was the third day,
the same thing happened.
And then after three days,
he was like,
we've already got what would be five to 10 minutes of the movie.
I'm an over my head here.
I've not yet got the voice.
No one on set has the authority or the confidence to tell me to rein it in.
So this is it.
So he had probably quite a long time working where he was just like,
fuck.
It's like the,
it's like the only thing I can say to is if you're trying out a new joke that involves a voice
or if you've ever been in a scene on stage where that involves a voice.
Once you start.
You're swinging massively.
You're like, here I am.
Here's the voice.
Here's the character.
And it doesn't take.
And then, you know, one minute, two minutes and you're like, someone's got to come and bail me out.
Dude, no, if you're Robert Downey Jr.
in the lead in the new Doodle franchise.
Because there's no other adults that are there with him the whole time.
The villain comes and goes a bit.
Michael Sheen.
Antonio.
A very enjoyable comic turn, actually.
I thought he was a fantastic pantomime-style villain.
Yeah, he's good.
Also got a good laugh from me when Robert Downey Jr.,
they're on boats.
At one point, they're racing to some archipelago and that's where the the the antidote which is contained within this tree of
eden which can only be found using the research of lily doodle who was dead at sea at the start
of the movie um they're sort of racing out there and doodle is on his way early and then michael
sheen catches up and the idea is he's going to destroy him so that he can't go back and save the
queen in time and he sort of sees him through his uh what's it called when you've got one telescope monoscope
a telescope unit uniculars boy it's called a telescope telescope and he uh he sees michael
sheen he goes oh there he is that chinless freak and then michael sheen sees him his lips when he
goes did he say something about my chin he said said something about my chin. And then his henchman next to him goes, it's a fantastic chin, sir, or something.
Now that dude, the lieutenant, fucking good.
He was funny, yeah.
He had like three lines and he knocked it out of the park.
I reckon they picked him up off a stage in London being funny.
No, I've seen him and stuff.
We'll look this time.
We'll figure it out.
We've got two more runs at this.
Yeah, but I thought Michael Sheen's sort of comedic performance.
He did what he was there to do.
And you accurately said that this is a lot of hard work for everyone involved delivering this script.
Oh, my God.
Because he got some real dungers in there that he had to say out loud.
He was sorry for good actors when they get delivered some shit.
It was just like, you had to say that out loud?
Nah, man.
Look at their bank accounts. Yeah, it's true.
What do you reckon Michael Sheen got for that role?
Five million dollars?
Is he at that level, do you reckon?
Five mil seems high.
I honestly don't know how much actors get paid.
Me neither. Maybe a million.
What, Danny, did you get 20 million dollars? Yeah, I reckon.
That is so much money.
That is so much money.
How much
money does this movie cost?
Do we know?
Can you Google that?
We can.
You've got to go through it, though, a little bit.
Now, look, I'll grant you, winding up with $4 million in your pocket is a lot.
But when you go, the actor got paid $20 million, right?
How much do they get in their pocket?
Oh, yeah.
Let's all take a moment to feel bad for Robert Downey Jr.
And the other millionaires in Hollywood, guys.
That's right.
They've had it tough.
It's tough.
Sometimes people watch their movies and discuss them in unflattering terms after the fact.
The budget was full, my God.
Gone.
So Cats was $100 million.
Yeah, was it $60?
Where do you think this one sits?
$60.
No, less than that. $50. $50 mil. $60? Where do you think this one sits? $60. No, less than that.
$50.
$50 mil.
$60 mil?
North of $60?
$70?
$100?
North of cats?
$120?
$130?
$150?
How much was that?
It was $175 million to make this movie.
Oh, no.
And to be fair, they've made back 150 out of them.
Have they?
Yeah.
How do you do that?
How do you do that with this movie, man?
People love...
Oh, Danny Elfman did the music
of Simpsons fame.
Oh, true.
He's done lots of movies.
I don't know.
I don't know where the money comes back.
Fuck, man.
I'm sorry. Now I'm deep in the Wikipedia page
I've lost you to the wiki which is fine
if you want to check out Robert Downey Jr's
voice in this you can just watch the trailer
and it's pretty on display for the
it's okay to be scared
nah I think to truly absorb
just how insane the decisions he made are
you do need to watch
the whole thing
which is not something I'd ordinarily recommend and don't go to the cinema for this you may die, you do need to watch the whole thing,
which is not something I'd ordinarily recommend.
And don't go to the cinema for this.
Nah, let's talk about that, actually. This will be remembered as one of the worst movies of the year, undoubtedly.
Going to the cinema for this, kind of a treat.
Having the whole cinema to ourselves was so nice.
Yeah.
It was fucking great.
Well, as we discussed, we're going to be welcoming people
into our lounge for this next screening, I think.
Essentially, that's what we had, right?
It was like our room.
Imagine having your own big cinema at home.
That's what this was like.
Do you know what you need to do?
Start a $175 million movie.
And then I can do that.
Get yourself a paycheck.
Yeah, you're not wrong.
You've got a projector.
It broke a year and a half ago and never got it fixed.
I'm sorry for that.
No, that's okay.
Were you saying sorry to me or sorry to the people walking past the camera?
I was saying sorry to you and your projector was.
Yeah, I think the next screening is at 12.50pm, which is a slightly more social hour.
I am not looking forward to it.
Who's the flick for, Guy?
Because who are we expecting to turn up for this?
Like, it's a kids movie, right?
Which is why it was something that when we started
getting into it, I was like, oh yeah, this is a kids movie.
Eight to twelve years old. It feels mean to
and their parents. To like,
give the worst idea treatment to a legitimate
children's film. That seems silly.
Well, do you know the beauty of it is, it's impossible
to gauge if there's no one else in the. Well, do you know the beauty of it is it's impossible to
gauge if there's
no one else in the
cinema.
At that point,
the movie is just
for us.
Okay, so the
first one's free.
It's a free hit.
Yeah.
I would just like to
say, while I remember
quickly, that the
Robert Downey Jr.
information I had
was a friend of
mine did the
junket for
Doolittle.
Explain what a
junket is to the
people.
A junket is sort
of like, you know,
you see all those talking heads interviews
where actors talk about their roles
and there's often one or two of them in the room
and they're sort of going,
oh, we had a good time on set, whatever,
and they get asked the same inane set of questions
by about 70 to 80 journalists in three hours
in a hotel room in a day.
It must be horrible, right?
It's exhausting.
There was an old meme of Ben Affleck on his Batman tour
with a slow zoom in where there was a moment where he truly let himself feel how he was
actually feeling and it is one of the most forlorn gazes i've seen in all my years but uh
robert downey jr is uh before he enters any room it it must be set at,
I believe,
78 degrees Fahrenheit.
This is the amount of power that this man now has.
And a lot of the actors,
Michael Sheen and whatnot,
were asked...
Why is that?
What?
Because, I guess...
Wait, sorry, you were saying?
A lot of the other actors got asked
what the deal is with Robert Downey Jr.
and his temperature-cont temperature controlling maniacal ego?
Not the temperature controlling, but they said, you know, it's incredible to think just how political language is
and like the way that you can get around saying what really happened.
But they're like, you know, it was a really interesting experience on set.
There were a lot of, you know, it was a really exciting and challenging story to bring to life.
And like, you know, all of these words which sound positive,
but if you read between the lines of people saying this was a fucking disaster.
This is terrible.
From where to go.
But no, Downey Jr. also for his, and this is how he knew it was going to be a bomb
and a pretty cunning PR workaround.
All of his interviews around Doolittle were to be done by children.
interviews around Doolittle were to be done by children.
He didn't let any independent thinking adults interview him about the film,
which I think is... That is genius!
It's pretty good, eh?
Holy shit.
That is some Tony Stark evil genius shit.
How do you get away with explaining why you spent $175 million on experimenting
with your voice?
You get kids to ask you about it. explaining why you spent $175 million on experimenting with your voice,
you get kids to ask you about it.
Realistically, he was just thrown into the digital fair technology part.
He saw an opportunity and he exploited it to his own ends. He chooses his opportunities.
That is so smart, though.
Good on him.
Yeah.
Massively good on him.
I think the Hollywood filmmaking industry needs to stop being so precious
and pretending like filmmaking is easy and a rose walk and that everyone's nice.
And they should do real honest interviews after the fact
so we can appreciate the hard work and dedication that goes into making these things.
I want to see interviews.
Maybe this is a bit worst idea, Cullen.
But I want to see interviews, not with the stars.
I want to talk to craft services.
I want to talk to costume.
The people who actually know what it was like.
Fucking hair and makeup, they know everyone's secrets.
They really do.
If we could get them in front of some e-news journalists,
now we've got a product.
Now we've got something I want to see
don't give me your
fucking junket
your junket's something
you're trying to give to me
I want to hear from
the hair and makeup person
these are the people
who we could probably
access if we so chose
I guess they don't want
to be chased out of
Hollywood
you're all NDA'd up the
west I would assume
but like it could be
a whole other
I mean you get two
films out of it
if it was a total
shit show making
Doolittle you make Doolittle you put it out you wait 12 months because of it. If it was a total shit show making Doolittle,
you make Doolittle, you put it out, you wait 12 months,
because these movies don't really have a show,
but you make the making of.
Well, Rebel Wilson is the first person I saw
to publicly, loudly distance themselves
or make fun of cats at the British Actors...
BAFTAs?
Yeah, something like that, where she said she's half...
The British American Fire Tobacco Awards.
Yeah.
Big tobacco getting behind film, finally.
I'll say that.
But she said half of her dress was some event from Australia
and the other half was she'd been at a funeral for the movie Cats.
That's nice.
There is a grace period after a movie that you've been involved in
and a lot of people
have worked hard on
where it is rude
and disrespectful
and unprofessional
to shit on it
but I don't know
what that grace period is
and the point at which
you can say
I guess the end of the cinema release
maybe
the thing with Rebel Wilson
is I don't think
well I guess
she had some big scenes actually
she worked hard
but you know
she wasn't at the level
of like
the lead
whose name I've already forgot
Francesca Francesca Hudgen Francesca Hayward Hayward nice I don't think she worked hard francesca vanessa francesca hayward hayward
nice i don't think she worked hard who reba wilson yeah as jenny any dot for her saying she had to
like learn the choreography and shit you're on the record as saying she did not bring it no she
didn't do a good job i'm just saying she tried hard so it's like you know the thing that you're
saying about being disrespectful about the film in the wake of it,
it's like she had some investment in this, in Cats.
We're not talking about Cats, we're talking about Doolittle.
Unless they've got producer credits where they're getting a cut of the box office.
I reckon once you're out of there, hang as much shit on it as you like.
Does Robert Downey Jr. produce?
Or does he just act?
A woman named Susan Downey is listed as a producer.
That's his wife.
Well, there you go.
I'm pretty sure that's his wife.
You are correct.
So she produces.
Downey Jr. is not listed as a producer.
He gets top billing as the star, and rightly so.
Second billing, Robert Downey Jr.'s voice box
worked overtime on this thing.
Do you know, a lot of people say it's impossible
to act in a movie
where you do all of the accents in the world.
And Robert Downey Jr. said,
technically, yes,
but not if I do them all at the same time.
It's kind of worth seeing for the voice, isn't it?
It's rude and wrong
to do accents from countries you've not been to
and mimic experiences of people you have not met.
But if you bury them underneath layers of accents that you are familiar with all of a sudden we're dealing with something
else you know what's happened we we let him get away with Tropic Thunder into blackface with no
consequences and now he is drunk with power yeah he thinks he can do anything it's the same thing
as my dream of having a button on your Spotify that plays all of the songs you like at the same
time just to test the
theory as to whether or not that would make for a better song i like all these songs individually
why wouldn't i like them together that's robert downey jr with that seems like the audio equivalent
of i like cake so what if i eat all the ingredients i'll just eat a cup of flour crack a raw egg into
my mouth it's more like i'll put all of the ingredients for 10 different style of cakes in the bowl
and make it one big cake.
Yeah.
And we don't know what that cake tastes like yet.
It's true.
It'd be a big cake.
We know what it sounds like.
It'd be big.
And this movie's big.
It sounds confusing.
Yeah, it's big and confusing,
which this movie is both of those things.
How long have we got to the next screen?
It's actually 12.45.
We're all right.
We're all right for a bit.
Hey, how do you feel about seeing this movie
another couple of times?
Honestly, I think...
I'm fine with it, eh?
This thing, it doesn't...
It's not too long.
This next screening will be okay.
The reason I'm looking at my watch
is because I really want to get a coffee before it.
Oh, God, that'd be good.
I want to set ourselves up for it.
I think the next watch will be fine.
The third watch will be harder.
I'm really disappointed we're not doing the four
I'm sorry about that
I fucked that
honestly
don't sweat it
it's a small mercy
I might stick
oh
should I leave the gear with you
no no
see what you do
even to say it
the idea of it is funny
it's the same thing
as going to cats by myself
the next day
by the time you get to that moment
yeah
it's like
I feel like we're already
doing enough to research
you want my honest opinion
I think you should
stick around
and see the movie again
easy for you to say
mister I've got to
go to work
is this not work
do we not work
that's why
that's why this is
I think we're just
so great
what are you looking
are you looking at the timer
I'm looking at your balls
we've been talking for like
35 minutes
it's nice
to just be in a cinema with your pal.
Like, this is just time.
It's a holiday, isn't it?
So it's hard to get too depressed and downtrodden and worked up about it.
It's just funny to see so much money fail, but then apparently not.
I'm confused that it's making money.
I mean, in Hollywood, if you break even...
Something's gone wrong.
Does that constitute a failure still?
Yeah, absolutely.
If you spend $175 million,
you expect to make twice that back, I imagine, right?
I reckon, yeah.
Big gamble, big payoff.
High risk, high reward filmmaking.
What's next for digital fur technology?
I understand they're going to re-rub the 98 dr
dildo with eddie murphy i wouldn't mind seeing that franchise come back to life so i would love
it oh wait are you serious no okay i would love it if they were playing i mean it would literally
only be for us but if they went do a little 2020 do a little 1998 do a little 2020 do a little 1998 2020, Doodledool 1998. Doodledool 2020, Doodledool 1998.
What do you mean?
They put that on at the cinema?
Yeah.
Oh, that would be nice.
Should we watch the Eddie Murphy Doodledool at some point?
When we have the time.
Yeah.
I've got nothing left to say on this watch, Tim.
Neither do I.
Two out of five.
Doodledool.
There's a dragon in this movie.
We have no choice but to embark on this perilous journey.