The Worst Idea Of All Time - Domore 3: CATS (2019)

Episode Date: March 23, 2020

What's with dragons in movies? Tim and Guy CANNOT stop singing songs from CATS and rank the CGI'ed animals (the monkeys were great). Tim pitches a prequel to Dunston Checks In. Guy wants Marvel to chi...ll out on the muscles and Tim wants fat and skinny X-Men! Also a definitive explanation of why The Wild Thornberries was a better execution of the Talks-To-Animals format than this movie. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 We have no choice but to embark on this perilous journey. Welcome along to episode three of three of Do More with Timbuk Garmagoran. We've just spent a day, which I just did the maths. We did five hours with Dr. Doolittle today. It's not that much for us. Yeah, but it is a lot by ordinary standards. We've just exited the Cineplex. We are in the upstairs car park here at West City Waitakere. And we're standing. We're ready to put our foot in a car.
Starting point is 00:00:47 I think it's important to note that we're standing because I would imagine this is the first podcast in the history of the world to be recorded upright. We've done one before, I think, in the studio where we decided to stand. It was like season two or something. Do you remember once we recorded a prototype for a podcast that was never released where we just held eye contact
Starting point is 00:01:02 for about 45 minutes and talked to each other? The eye contact project or whatever the fuck it was called. That's a great idea for a podcast that was never released where we just held eye contact for about 45 minutes and talked to each other. The eye contact project or whatever the fuck it was called. That's a great idea for a podcast. Yeah. Eventually, I guess it stops being interesting and then you're just talking though. Yeah, but interesting stuff does happen
Starting point is 00:01:15 when you can't break eye contact with someone. It was quite a long time as well, I think. Yeah, we went for longer than I thought. That episode was ages. Anyway, we have now seen Dr. Doodle three times out of three. And mercy me, it's good to be back out. We had the entire cinema to ourselves once again. We're a bit stir crazy in there.
Starting point is 00:01:34 So out of a possible, wait, hold on a second. Let me do the math here. 600. 720 tickets. The cinema successfully sold 14. Yep. So that's 14. In fact, we were quizzing the staff about it,
Starting point is 00:01:50 sort of seeing how it was going, seeing if we were going to have an impact on programming like we did with Cats. We were assured by the good people at New Market Rialto. And they said, probably not. They just require us to play it a lot of times. So we just keep putting it on during the day. And full admission, we were actually late to the screening of Dr. Doolittle.
Starting point is 00:02:07 So we walked into this, as we bought the tickets, the woman who'd served us all day behind the counter said, She was getting a real kick out of it too. She said, oh, you guys are by yourselves again. And so we were like, oh, that's cool. And we went to the cinema. No one in there. The movie was just playing.
Starting point is 00:02:23 It actually shocked me because I think that's not automated I think there's a projectionist that needs to put it on and stuff so like at what point do you just not
Starting point is 00:02:32 hit play it felt like the definition of insanity it was it was a very for me like a Schrodinger's cat thing it's like
Starting point is 00:02:39 shit does happen when you're not there to observe it it actually does keep ticking over it's the tree in the forest isn't it? If Dr. Doodle screens
Starting point is 00:02:46 at 3.10pm at Waitakere West City, is Dr. Doodle playing? And we can confirm the answer is yes. We've cracked it. We really stretched out this time. We took full advantage of the cinema. We spoke freely to one another. We ran around, did a few laps.
Starting point is 00:03:04 I gave the movie a standing ovation up and down every single aisle of the 240-seat cinema and then started a Viking clap, which is where you stand at the front of a crowd and you clap your hands together above your head to try and get everyone to clap in time. And you joined in pretty begrudgingly after like— It's because I was with you for your standing until the last— I thought you were done and then there was another row left and i was like oh man this is enough and then on top of that you start because that took minutes and then i wanted to come all the way back up because we were sitting near the back but i wasn't happening truly it's really tiring to clap constantly it was um a really arduous third watch in a row yeah Yeah, very restless. I think the knowledge we were
Starting point is 00:03:46 on our way out meant we probably I certainly didn't give it what it was due. We were on bad behaviour too. If we did this and there were other people in, particularly for that last one, it would have changed the tone quite a bit. A hundred percent. I think the other people in the cinema serve a purpose.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Part of the reason you go to the cinema is to watch something around people. We live in a society. We live in a society we live in a society it's about regulation yeah and without them it did feel like again it was just tim and tim and guy left their own devices quite literally uh i did some emails looked at some photos you did a few emails and then i you got upset yeah you got i don't like it and then even when I was taking a note later on, Tim said... Yeah, because you were on your fucking email. Eyes on the screen.
Starting point is 00:04:28 No, it was in my notes at that point. You could see I was in my notes. And I'll tell you what I wrote. You're not looking that deeply at your phone. I don't think I've got the eyesight to determine that. Oh, really? Yeah. What I wrote is,
Starting point is 00:04:37 why do all these movies have to end with a CGI dragon? Is it just me, or do all bad kids' movies at some point involve a dragon? And it's always in a cave and the dragon always turns out to be fine. Dragons are cool when you're a kid. Yeah, and adults kind of like them too, but I just feel like dragons are played out, man. Yeah, too many dragons. Doolittle didn't need one.
Starting point is 00:05:02 It really didn't. And that, you know know it seems insane to say but it sort of breaks the realm of the movie yeah they do a bad job of establishing any coherent language yeah because it's like if it's all the animals that's fine but then it's like and there's a drag like because it's otherwise set in our world in the real world and it's like and then there's a dragon yeah it just pisses me it pisses me right off, Tim. When you compare it to the trailer, which has got the, how would you describe that kind of languid, soulful,
Starting point is 00:05:36 female-sung version of What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong? I describe it as bad. Okay. It's really slow and moribund. What does that mean? Sort of, I believe it's in the same family as Morose, but sort of like quite somber and downcast and downbeat. Imagine if it was the original Louis Armstrong version.
Starting point is 00:05:54 I mean, they had $175 million to spend. They didn't need to hire a producer's cousin. Do you know where my mind goes, though, is what was the Michael Moore, Bowling for Columbine, that used that in that incredible scene. I've not seen Bowling for Columbine. I don't know if it holds up, but it probably is a doco, so it's fine. The trailer set me up. I don't know if this was just me being a bit primed for it,
Starting point is 00:06:15 but I thought it was going to have a bit of an undercurrent of being about climate change and environmental issues, and it didn't at all. And it seems like such an opportunity there to just doll up another doll up another because they say wonderful world and it's and it's like it's big sweeping shots it's like the planet animals living organisms yeah we're out here and there's kind of like elements of it super subtly the ship that the baddies are on is coal fire coal power it's a period piece they weren't worried about climate change at the point this movie was made. No, I know, but you can kind of, yeah, but fucking,
Starting point is 00:06:48 you just reverse engineer that shit in to the film. Yeah, I mean, they were. It felt like an opportunity. And why wouldn't they? They were trying a lot already. I just, there's no cohesion. You're right. The word cohesion is what springs to mind.
Starting point is 00:07:00 There's nothing that, apart from the fact that Robert Downey Jr. is doing his batshit accent the whole time and he can talk to animals. There's nothing to otherwise unite the spare parts of this movie. It's really really annoying. Do you think it's badly edited? I think
Starting point is 00:07:18 the editors were answering to a variety of different people and motivations. It feels like a lot of hands on it. Yeah. Because that's how you get those little glimpses of a scene. And actually, if we are going to talk about glimpses of a scene, some comedic beats do hit, and one of them which hit every time, and I would not be able to forgive myself if I didn't say as much. Listen, to be fair to you and to Robert Downey Jr.,
Starting point is 00:07:40 the following worked. Yeah. When we're on Michael Sheen, aka the scarlet pimpernel uh his ship chasing doolittle someone goes to kill a fly and they slam down like a spatula but there's a perfectly fly-shaped hole in the spatula that the fly survives through and then we hear the fly say it's a miracle i'm the chosen one i'm gonna change the world and then it flies out of the ship window and immediately gets gulped by a gull and you hear the sort of yeah and then it cuts back to michael sheen inside going a thesis on whales or something it's all like really over the top pantomime sort of children's villain entertainment that joke works because they don't hang in it yeah it's like a
Starting point is 00:08:21 nice little sequence that plays out and then we fuck off onto a different thing and it's great that one works well done we haven't even mentioned the fact that Will Arnett is also in this movie how are you feeling? what's in your heart? I just think it's crazy
Starting point is 00:08:39 tell me the emotions that go through you when you go through Doolittle I feel fine. I'm just like, I just want to, honestly, this is rude to you, but I just want to finish talking. I want to finish all of it. I want to finish talking about it. I want to finish feeling bad for doing my emails.
Starting point is 00:08:58 I want to be in the car, driving home, listening to music and talking about literally anything else. This is bad. This is different from Cats. Cats, we were excited to engage with. Cats, the music we were listening to music and talking about literally anything else. This is bad. This is different from Cats. Cats we were excited to engage with. Cats, the music we were listening to was the movie. We actually were singing Cats in Doolittle this time. We just got so bored, we started singing songs from Cats.
Starting point is 00:09:18 And there's something to be said that we got to see. There is connective tissue. At one point, also a constant laugh, Robert Downey Jr., when he's dealing with the tiger, the tiger's saying, you won't outsmart. And then Robert Downey Jr. leaps in spite of being weighed down by significant metal chains. Yeah, it cuts to him three stories in the air on a windowsill
Starting point is 00:09:38 that he's done in an instant. And he's next to the window, and he's got something to reflect the light. And the cat's saying, you won't outsmart. It's Barry the tiger. you won't outsmart. It's Barry the tiger. You won't outsmart. And then he flashes this little dot of light past the tiger's eye on the floor. And the cat goes, oh, what is it? It's over here.
Starting point is 00:09:55 And then Robert Downey Jr. goes, no, it's over here. And then Robert Downey Jr. starts talking about cats, being like, you can always distract a cat. And that was very cats for me. And that was really nice. That honestly felt like home. That felt like a place in the movie I wanted to stay for longer. And then there are moments of mood, which certain songs sync up to very well.
Starting point is 00:10:15 Ghosts, Taylor Swift's original song from the Andrew Lloyd Webber, Tom Hooper collaboration, Cats 2019. We sung that reprise several times. Buster for Jones also Bustopher Jones Bustopher Jones I'm not skin and bones that's the word from the saltest
Starting point is 00:10:33 of cats I have to sing that because it has been in my mind every single day since we did Why We With Cats it's like
Starting point is 00:10:38 do you remember when Britney Spears made a song using AI they like got an artificial intelligence program to write a song for her. It might have been poison.
Starting point is 00:10:48 Toxic. And the taste of your lips. But it's like cats is like that. I know we're not talking about cats, but I will say this. Cats is so catchy. Listen to the way we gravitate back to cats. It's crazy. We want to sink our fangs back into a little bit of cats.
Starting point is 00:11:03 The other world that I could have spent more time in the movie on, and it sort of had shades of Dick Van Dyke's character in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Did you watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? I don't know if I've seen it once ever. I think that in a way, that was an inspiration for this film
Starting point is 00:11:16 because Michael Sheen's villain had shades of the child catcher, very sort of over the top, lampoonish style villainy, but also quite ominous. And genuinely, I think if you're a child, scary. But then also, Dick Van Dyke's character was an inventor in this movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
Starting point is 00:11:32 And I wanted to spend a lot more time with the Rube Goldberg machines. We've got a few of those. We've got like in the house, at Robert Downey Jr.'s house, there's like a railway train that runs above your head, sort of, between the, above your head and between the ceiling. Sort of a mezzanine track for the mice. Mice are driving that. And then when he's cooking lunch for everyone, he turns on a machine and like it starts processing these apples.
Starting point is 00:11:55 And then later on when they call the whales, they beckon the whales, he sort of built this multi-instrument hyphenate that the monkeys play that sends sonar waves through the water. It's quite cool. It's got like a violin taped to a brass instrument like a tuba phone and then it points to the water and blasts out a signal i want you like i want to spend more time around those inventions the whale net thing's kind of cool too it's a neat idea yeah it's the kind of thing that
Starting point is 00:12:18 you'd be like hey i wonder if that'd work where they get a big net and they put it in the water and they talk to the whale to draw a whale in and then they put... Humphrey. They put Humphrey the whale in the net and then Humphrey drags the boat along at speed and just fucking paces it. I think if you could communicate with whales, within our reality, I feel like the whale would go downwards. Like, would swim down and pull the boat down.
Starting point is 00:12:44 But if you can just get the whale to sit at that service level, why wouldn't it work? Yeah, man. Because they're so big, they're already carrying, like, however much they weigh, a ton or something. They could probably carry a ship. What do you think of the CGI on the whales?
Starting point is 00:12:57 Pretty good. I thought the CGI was pretty good all around. Could you rank the animals in terms of worst to best will go? What's the worst CGI you saw in the film there's a long shot of what is it of it's early in the film and it's oh i think it's john cena's polar bear and i think that's bad it seems to be easier to do close-up cgi and i think that's o2 digital fear technology to sell it i But this movie was pretty good on the CGI. It was pretty seamless.
Starting point is 00:13:28 The monkeys were fucking sensational. I'm convinced they were real monkeys. You grow into it. That first time you see a squirrel that flecks from the CGI industry, you're like, oh, this is CGI. But then eventually your eyes adjust and you just accept that as the world. It might be. Or it might be the squirrel's the worst, perhaps.
Starting point is 00:13:44 Especially coming out of the cartoon intro and then suddenly you're in the real world. So that's a big year change. And then suddenly there's CGI in the real world we're seeing on top of that. And you're like, oh, fucking, I don't know about all this. It's a nice animation style.
Starting point is 00:13:56 You'd want to sit in it for longer. Yeah. Or even bookend it. Because they've... Emma Thompson's... Oh, you go. And that cartoon as well, it's definitely Robert Downey Jr.
Starting point is 00:14:04 It's not a generic, based on the illustrations of the original book. It's him being Doolittle. And Emma Thompson's narrator, who's introduced real top-heavy. It's like, bang, here's the story. Here are the details you need to know. I'm talking over pictures so everything is laid out as clearly as possible. Totally abandoned until halfway through when they're losing their way again. And so they reintroduce it.
Starting point is 00:14:24 It would not be a stretch. So sorry for that cough. It would not be a stretch for the movie to bookend itself by ending on the same style animation. Emma Thompson's already speaking over it. It would at least just feel neat. And this movie's not. The floor drops out of this film.
Starting point is 00:14:41 The end just comes out of nowhere. Yeah. You feel very like, it's very jerky it almost works for it i think it's why that second watch whisked by because it's like even cats you know cats it feels like i would identify a moment i'd be like this is the beginning beginning of the ends of cats and then i watched 30 to 35 minutes more of songs but this is like you don't even know what marks the ending it's like all of a sudden they go, you know, you're plodding along. It's like, and we're out of there.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Was this as bad as you were primed for? Yeah, about perfectly. And one watch wouldn't have said that. One watch I would have been like, this is not as bad as, like people were really mean about this movie. And after one watch I was like, that's not the end of the world. But after three when I think about
Starting point is 00:15:27 if I'm in a hotel or at home and I'm flicking channels and like this not cats I keep thinking about cats cats stop thinking about cats
Starting point is 00:15:34 cats stop thinking about these fantastic cats so if I'm flicking channels and doodles on I'm not sticking around for a moment I'm not like curious to see one bit
Starting point is 00:15:42 I'm like okay get going get out of here do you fear that the worst idea of all time has broken your brain for film though as well because a lot of people say that to us we'll express an opinion about a movie while out in the wild and people say well yeah but you know you're fucked in the head mate from your podcast and we'll say well that's fair enough and i i feel that especially i don't think i've ever felt it more viscerally than watching doolittle i'm like like, I don't know what's broken, the movie or me or both.
Starting point is 00:16:08 Both, because outside of the podcast, you would know better than to watch Doolittle. I think that's right. I'm not a child, though. It's not made for me, you know? But I love Pixar movies. Yeah. I went to the cinema to watch Toy Story 4 and cried. You're right.
Starting point is 00:16:25 And Robert Downey Jr. being the leading man in this does sort of lean into the 25 to 35 male market. Who acquits themselves well? Who comes out of this movie better or neutral to how they went in? I think Emma Thompson loses points for doing it. Oh, okay. Well, John Cena throws down a great performance. I think John Cena does well.
Starting point is 00:16:44 I think Kumail does well. I think Kumail does well. I think he's notably the funniest, which is all you could ask for if you've cast like... Whoever voices that dancing orangutan, I'm fucking here for them. And I want a sequel, which is Antonio Banderas in That Monkey, and that's the film.
Starting point is 00:16:59 What's it called? Dunstan Checks In? Again? The first one's called Dunstan Checks In, eh? This will be Dunstan Checks Out. And it's about him getting off the island with Antonio Banderas. Is it connected to the universe of Dunstan Checks In? Yeah, it's a crossover.
Starting point is 00:17:18 So is Jason Alexander in it? No, because it's a prequel. This is the origin story of Dunstan. This is Dunstan's dad. Dunstan's dad has dancing fever, and he needs to get to Ibiza, and he does so with Antonio Banderas to dance his little tushy off,
Starting point is 00:17:35 and then meets the mum. And then Dunstan gets to New York. Dunstan the son then gets to New York. Wow. It's an old monkey, though, because I think we're, it's not explicitly said, but all the clues lead us to believe that the Doolittle is set in,
Starting point is 00:17:49 they should call it the Doolittle, is set in the early 1800s maybe. They spent a lot of the time in this movie and by a lot I mean... What do you think of Dunstan Checks Out though? I'm all in for Dunstan Checks Out. I was just going to say... Who will they cast as the love interest for the monkey?
Starting point is 00:18:06 Like who's going to voice the. Winona Ryder. I love that. I love that for her. And I love that for you. It's a great career move. Yeah. Who's directing?
Starting point is 00:18:16 Hooper. No. Put him back in. No, no, no, no, no. He's ready. No, no, no, no. There's no songs for this. He goes two good, one bad.
Starting point is 00:18:22 No. There were no songs in the King's Speech. It was just Colin Firth going, today, Junior. Safety Brothers. Oh, wow. It's stressful. It's interesting.
Starting point is 00:18:33 It's full on, but it's fun, and it's funny, and we've got a lot of like, you know. I like it. I like it a lot. Wait, who did Big Lebowski? The Coen Brothers. The Coen Brothers should direct this film. Dunstan checks out.
Starting point is 00:18:47 Coen Brothers direct. Banderas, whoever the voice is, Ryder. Yes. The time, 1920s Ibiza. Yes. Yes. This sells itself. Come on.
Starting point is 00:19:00 The Roaring Twenties. It's of this time as well. Produced by Robbie Margot. Oh. She's not in it. Mar robbie margo there's a tricky one that's really not it's not at all it's a good movie i was i was gonna say yes um that the movie spends a bit of time trying to figure out what irony is yeah he says uh robert downey He says Robert Downey Jr. describes something that's ironic to, I've lost it now, Stubbs. The boy.
Starting point is 00:19:27 Stubbs? Stubbins. Stubbins. Fuck, yeah, nice. Is it? It's in the neighborhood. It's around the word stubborn. I keep saying stubborn.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Because that's one of the characteristics he has. That's how I remembered. He's a stubborn young boy. He keeps saying, I'm doing it. And so he's called Stubbins. Gotcha, gotcha. That's a trigger the memory I used. Anyway, Downey Jr. is trying to explain what irony is to Stubbins,
Starting point is 00:19:46 and then Banderas comes in and says, no, this is what irony is. Both of them give pretty site-specific examples and don't really illuminate what irony is. And then all of this to say, this is really roundabout, is it not ironic that a movie called Dr. Dolittle failed because it tried to do so much? or failed because it tried to do so much. Fuck me.
Starting point is 00:20:13 Yeah, I guess so too. Are you laughing at me or are you laughing with me? Because I cannot tell. Everything. Mainly at you. No, mainly not at you. Mainly with you. It's fucked.
Starting point is 00:20:25 That's very funny to me and you're not wrong who comes out of this movie badly who's it damaging not Manzookas he's the same character in everything he does and I love that including him just being himself
Starting point is 00:20:37 horny voice telling on podcasts like you hear him on Comedy Bang Bang that's him big shout out to Comedy Bang Bang if you don't know you see him on Comedy Bang Bang, that's him. Big shout out to Comedy Bang Bang. If you don't know it, it's a... You see him on Big Mouth, it's just him.
Starting point is 00:20:50 You see him in this film, he's still just a hornbag. He's carving out quite a nice niche because we know him as that sort of, you know, improvisational podcast talent who is now getting his due by showing up in the movies. But as a child, if you sort of of piece together you know the the roles he has he'd be this really cool cat you know he's like he might probably not be seeing me because he didn't come out through podcasts but he's carving out this interesting world where people would always be stoked to see him show up yeah yeah like not just with the knowledge of his career to the point at which he is now but like just seeing him and everything like who is this guy
Starting point is 00:21:21 why is he not in more yeah yeah and i like the idea of that and like doing a kid's movie like this is a good move for that and for kumail although i don't know why it bothers me but he shouldn't be that muscly who kumail not in the movie not in this movie oh you're talking about his upcoming role in the marvel Cinematic Universe. He should be there mostly. He's too strong. Fuck you. Fuck Disney. Stop making everyone that strong.
Starting point is 00:21:50 Yeah, actually, this is... Okay, now we're off topic. This is why they should reboot X-Men and celebrate the blob and Juggernaut and get some big boys on screen. Someone for me to root for. And some skinny boys. Get Toad, but make him cool. It's just ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:22:10 And also, if you get everyone to be that strong no one looks that strong it's like you put all of them next to each other you're like oh and they were almost killing themselves like did you see that thing henry and i know this is the thing they all do but henry uh kevil that's how you say his name is he's superman at one point yeah yeah. He was talking about the state of dehydration he had to get in for a bath in The Witcher, the Netflix series. He's like, yeah, I didn't drink any water for two days. You're fucking near death just to shoot a scene to look ripped.
Starting point is 00:22:35 I've not watched The Witcher, but I'm pretty sure it's not worth it, dude. Absolutely not. You need better people by your side. You need people saying, hey, Henry, you've got millions of dollars already. Hollywood's bad. It's a bad scene, man. man it's a bad scene it's making people do bad things dehydrating themselves for bath scenes etc do you think do you think do little it's going to get a
Starting point is 00:22:57 sequel because i don't think it's like a given that it won't i reckon it might no they didn't do it they haven't earned it not Not that you need to in this world. Ice Age did. Did it? It earned the first one. It earned the first one. I saw Ice Age at the cinema. I took my young cousins.
Starting point is 00:23:13 We had a great time. Okay. Can't remember the characters of the story. There's a big acorn that creates a huge fissure. Is Romano in there? You'd like to think so. Is it Ray's brother? Oh. One of them's in it.
Starting point is 00:23:23 Krang. Krang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Out of the Shadows. Yes it Ray's brother? Oh. One of them's in it. Krang. Krang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Out of the Shadows. Yes, Ray's brother. Would this movie, a do-little we're talking about, have improved or suffered with more characters? There's a lot of people in there,
Starting point is 00:23:37 but what if you just keep chucking things in the pot? Nah, man. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Nah, nah, nah. We love the Dancing Monkey. Maybe you'll hit another one of those. You've got a handful of characters not unlike the Dancing Monkey or Jeff
Starting point is 00:23:50 or whoever the guy was on the boat. You've got guys you want to see more from. You've got people or animals and you're like why are you not sticking around? I want to spend a bit of time with you. You've already got those characters that you're craving in the movie. It's not about throwing more darts at the board
Starting point is 00:24:05 it's about looking at what you've got and saying how do we build the best score here and it's just i i think of a similar thing if i'm trying to write an hour-long show with jokes or i'm trying to write jokes it's like concentrate on the promise you have in front of you you don't need to keep going further and further out and like creating this more like you know this super vast world of characters and then eventually looking at all of it and not even realizing which of them are good and which of them are no good because you just can't see the forest for the trees because you're just looking at a list of names as far as you can go like you need to fucking boil it down to its
Starting point is 00:24:36 component parts be like this this and this okay these are the things we like this is what we need to concentrate on what should do little have been what is the core of do little do little should have been uh the the setup is fantastic the cartoon at the top is brilliant i wouldn't mind not unlike into the spider verse but i wouldn't mind like more multimedia elements like you've got this fanciful world you introduce this cartoon element early don't be afraid to deviate back to that if you had trouble shooting a live action stuff go back into the cartoon world like you can you can animate and take care of the story even just to use it as interstitial to get us from point a to
Starting point is 00:25:15 b and it can you know they can be these great bookends or chapter beginnings or endings and like it can just clarify this was a book hey yeah it's not just a book. I don't know. Not this particular story, but like the premise. And, you know, the Thornberries did it better than me. The Thornberries is a great show. Wild Thornberries. If you don't know, it was a Nickelodeon show. It was about a girl named Eliza Thornberry, voiced by Lacey Chabot. And she would go around talking to animals with her family.
Starting point is 00:25:43 Her dad was a nature documentarian in the mold of Richard Attenborough. It was a great show. In this one, I think you just need the same story. Doolittle, he's depressed. He's morose. He's down and out because his wife is dead. That's a weird jumping off point for a kids movie, by the way. We'll get to that.
Starting point is 00:25:59 Yeah, it's pretty grim. So you need the call to action, which is like, if you don't go and do this, if you don't go and take care of business for the queen the setup's brilliant pretty much all the animals will cease to have sanctuary if you don't do this thing it's i think yeah yeah i think from there it's just streamlining the story it's like i mean beat for beat technically it should work it's just not funny enough it's not funny enough and there are too many characters who are thin and not fleshed out. You're in this so deep. I love it.
Starting point is 00:26:29 Like, you're a studio exec going, fuck, we might need to pull the plug. Well, I'm looking at it like, this is what fucks me off about Hollywood, and what almost inspires me to be like, I'll just make more stuff, and some of it will eventually be good. It's like, I feel like I can see the studio exec sitting in there being like, we've almost got it. Like, we have all the component parts to make a delicious movie here yeah and then like they pull out the first try and they're like oh that's not quite it instead of baking a fresh cake they just put more icing and ingredients on it and then they go this is this a cake you've got the ingredients you've got the book you've got the money make me a fucking cake just like they guess they just they're happy they're fine with it being bad or wrong like
Starting point is 00:27:10 they've i don't i mean all of the it's all money isn't it that's the imperative they just need to make money that's all they want to do and that's why the timelines are all wrong because they say this is when it's coming out this is why the sonic movie is exciting because they put something out into the world and everyone said, no, no. And for the first time, like, I can remember really. They were like, okay. All right. We'll go back and we'll fucking sort out the shit that's pissing you off.
Starting point is 00:27:35 You can't do it all the time. You know what they didn't do that for? Cats. They did not do that for cats. Everyone told them this is terrifying. And they were like, well, you're getting it anyway. Yeah. And, you know, but cats still is a bit of fun and like you can't do it all the time you can't you can't let audiences choose what you do like writers on tv shows they have obsessive fan bases sometimes they say they can or they i don't know what their relationship with the
Starting point is 00:28:00 forums are but if you go on the forums it'll fuck your head because you'll be going somewhere and some intelligent fan will send you apparently though the writers have lost for using internet forums and you wouldn't know it to watch the end of the fucking series all i'm saying is just i don't know read the room try a little bit harder just because you got robert downey jr and 10 names in gold embossed fucking you know font on a black background at the end of the trailer, that doesn't mean what you've made is good. It's not ready. Just because the end of the trailer looks good,
Starting point is 00:28:31 it doesn't mean it's ready. And it pisses me off. It was bad. I guess it's the difference between making a good movie and making a marketable film. As long as people get in the door and pay their ticket price. This is the grown-ups thing. It's like Adam Sandler says, Hey, here's the poster. Me, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Sparks. As long as people get in the door and pay their ticket price. This is the grown-ups thing. It's like Adam Sandler says, hey, here's the poster.
Starting point is 00:28:50 Me, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade. But we're kids. The movie's about us being grown up. Sort of. The rest fucking day. And I guess the rest we'll do on, we'll figure it out on the day. That's marketability. Yeah. People go to that movie.
Starting point is 00:29:02 So, and the- How great is the Sandman going at the moment, by the way? God bless him. Fuck. He's a legend. It's a very... Downey Jr.'s doing it now as well. We know he's capable of greatness.
Starting point is 00:29:14 And he just shits something out. At one specific thing. Downey Jr.'s got a single gear. The thing that's shocking about the Sandman... He was good at Chopping Thunder. Yeah, exactly. But I think he was... He can do, do like pomposity
Starting point is 00:29:25 and smugness and over confidence. You look at the whole Iron Man career. Yeah, yeah. Piscis Bang Bang I enjoyed. I haven't seen that. I haven't seen any of his early career before because he was like,
Starting point is 00:29:35 he was on a skyrocket to fame and then he was an addict. He was ill and he disappeared. He took care of himself and then he came back and had a great renaissance. Why are there so...
Starting point is 00:29:46 I think Iron Man was like his coming back, wasn't it? Yeah, because he got nominated for an Oscar for playing Charlie Chaplin. Really? That's a movie I'd see. Huh. That I haven't. So many... And I've seen Doctor Who three times in a day.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Films and sitcoms start off with the woman's died, the mum's died, the wife's dead. Yeah. You know? Step by step, I'm pretty sure. No, that was Suzanne Somers, wasn't it? Full house. Full house, definitely. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:11 I think there's a raft of them. I'm pretty sure at least one of their mums and so far. Do you know what it is? It's the two male creators bring a script, and the note they get is the woman, the characters aren't strong enough. You need to go and rewrite them. And they go, oh, okay, rewrite them, you say.
Starting point is 00:30:25 And they go away and they just kill it off because it's too much work. And they come back and they say, a man with something to prove. Interesting. Because that's the jumping off point for this as well. Because it really feels like there should have been a movie before this
Starting point is 00:30:39 so that we can ingratiate ourselves into the Lily character. True. But then we're just like here's a two minute animated emma thompson prelude you know what might i want to see lily do you know what might scare critics and punters away from dunstan checks out what it's association with the do a little universe we need to create space and distance between the two films. Mate, look at Birds of Prey. Doing very well.
Starting point is 00:31:07 Where did that come from? Suicide Squad. Everyone fucking hated the former and everyone's getting pretty into the latter. It can be done. Dunstan checks out. The Coens are the ones to pull this off. It's an exciting opportunity
Starting point is 00:31:20 for you to get in at the ground floor. You're going to make a lot of money. Everyone's back on Winona as well. She never left we left her we did leave her for stealing god we're pathetic we're fucking animals hey we're just disgusting we're low down dirty dogs these people were dehydrating themselves for bathtub scenes left right and center they take a couple of fucking candles or whatever from the mall and suddenly they're cancelled. How much money do you need to not drink water for two days? What do I need to pay you?
Starting point is 00:31:50 A surprisingly low amount. Right now, oh wee, it would not be a lot. How much for you? Let's start proceedings at $5,000. Two days, no water. You taking it? am I allowed to drink other things? no
Starting point is 00:32:08 well no liquids you can eat food so you can eat fruit you know like apples have got a lot of water in them I'm not doing it for $5,000 really? I'd fucking do it in a heartbeat
Starting point is 00:32:18 for 5k? if I could eat apples yeah 4k? no apples now we've got a negotiation on our hands. Can I eat other fruit that is in apples? Bananas only.
Starting point is 00:32:29 Oranges? No. Grapes? No, only bananas. Only bananas. Other foods? And steak. That's the two.
Starting point is 00:32:40 Two days. One to clog you up, one to flush you out. Two days, only bananas and steak. Two days, bananas and steak, no water. I fucking reckon I could do it because I don't need a lot of water. These guys are doing it for a product that people will enjoy. For money. I'm doing it for money.
Starting point is 00:32:58 They're doing it for money. It's all the same. But also, I think I could. I think I could do it a lot easier than some other people. This is a dangerous zone to be in, dude. Seriously. I reckon I could do it. I might start up a pledge me.
Starting point is 00:33:10 It's so pointless. Imagine if we got the money. It's so silly. It's interesting. Is it? Why? You'd be sick. Your wife's a doctor.
Starting point is 00:33:18 She wouldn't be happy. Two days, I reckon. Easy. I reckon toward the end of the second day it would start to get fascinating. One day I would do accidentally as it is. Yeah, I was offering you a lot of water today. I was fine. Well, I had to drink a whole bottle
Starting point is 00:33:33 on the second screening. But I'm quite good at retaining water, I think. No one is specifically good at retaining water. No, no, no. Trust me on this. No, no, listen to what I have to say. I am. I don't sweat a lot.
Starting point is 00:33:45 I'm good at retaining water. The thing I'm taking issue with is what you're saying. I am listening to it. All right, so final verdict, Guy. Let's put a bow on this thing. This was Do More, the limited series where we see Doolittle three times with Robert Downey Jr. What is your final verdict on the film after seeing it for five hours today?
Starting point is 00:34:07 It's okay to be scared. Don't go. Do less. Do less with your life. Don't go to the cinema. Stay at home. And read a Wikipedia page of your choosing. This has been Do More.
Starting point is 00:34:23 I hope you've enjoyed it. Goodbye. We have no choice but to embark on this perilous journey.

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