The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Fifty One - Coyote
Episode Date: November 25, 2018Guy and Tim have taken their camper (thanks Jucy Rentals!) to Joshua National Park, California. It's late, it's isolated and the boys are getting a little freaky. In this episode, the movie appears to... have taken a backseat to delightful stories ranging from childhood bike injuries to a very recent adult pant-crapping incident.We find out what happened to Patty's grandparents and hear some positive words about Braden's acting ability. We're having a WONDEFUL time. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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It was hard for you, wasn't it?
Hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time, episode 51, coming at you live from
Joshua Tree, just
outside of Los Angeles in California, America.
Yeah, we're in a national park now.
What up?
It's like an unspeakably beautiful night and we're inside a camper van.
Kindly provided.
Hey, how do you like that?
No light?
This is a good idea.
Okay, cool.
We're in pitch blackness now.
A camper van kindly provided to us by Juice from Juicy.
Hey, this episode of the podcast is proudly brought to you via us by means of Juicy.
Juicy Rentals.
Juicy Rentals.
And can I wax lyrical about this bitchin' ride for a second or two?
Yeah, tell me about it, bro.
It has tricked the fuck out.
Like, there's two cookers in here.
There's one that's built into the van and one that you can take if you're a camper.
We haven't cooked anything from the van.
But I bought chili.
I've got a can of chili.
But it's nice to have the option.
I'm going to cook chili later.
You're going to love it.
Are you going to cook it tonight or in the morning?
The doors are electric, which was a real mindfuck.
Like, they're sliding doors.
It's a panel van, but they're automatic doors.
This is something we need to talk to Dodge about rather than Juicy,
but I don't think you need electric closing doors.
Yeah, guys, you're over-engineering.
You're overthinking it.
We can just close the van doors ourselves.
It's easy, bro.
I've done it so many times before, unaided.
I've had a lot of practice.
I'm really good at it.
I actually kind of enjoy it.
What else are we rocking?
There's USB ports in the center console.
There's a solar panel on the roof.
There's also an apartment on the roof, what we call a penthouse.
Well, we call it that because that's what it's called,
because it's got a label on it called penthouse.
What it is is it's basically like this wind-up, semi-rigid pop-up tent
that you sleep in, and you can get to it.
It's on the roof of the car
it's fucking crazy guys you gotta get you gotta get one of these juices you gotta you gotta get
one of these juicy because that dog gonna hunt that dog ain't gonna hunt we uh at the hotel we
were staying at the um at the standard on the sunset and there was this beautiful thanks to
center family beautiful waitress uh who we named deirdre. Deirdre? Sweet D.
We called her Sweet D.
I still to this day
have no idea
what her actual name is.
she was from the
south of America.
Yeah,
and we were like,
teachers are cool
southern saying
and so she yelled
at her co-worker
who I think was,
was he from Louisiana?
No,
he was from,
yeah,
he might have been.
Oklahoma.
Who knows?
I think he was from Oklahoma.
He looked like he was
from Oklahoma.
Real Oklahoma vibe on his face
Like without missing a beat he just goes
That dog ain't gonna hunt
And I didn't even know what he said
What he said is that dog ain't going to hunt
And then we spent the better part of the morning
Speaking in southern accents like this
And saying that dog ain't going to hunt
Oh that dog ain't going to hunt
You think that you're going to get out in the desert
And record a podcast after watching Grown Ups 2 for the 51st time in a juicy van?
That dog ain't going to hunt.
Well, guess what?
Wait, before I forget, we've got to mention our second sponsor of the episode.
That's right.
That is Simon Orr.
And I am an Orr of Simon.
Yeah, thanks very much to Simon as well.
So here we are.
We're in the desert we've just watched grown-ups 2 for the 51st
time in our lives and we're in america for some reason and none of this is making any sense to me
right now yeah you know the reason that we are here yeah is because we've watched Grown Ups 2 51 times.
Isn't it amazing that if you do something absolutely bafflingly stupid enough,
amazing things will happen
and people will throw money at you
to travel to another country.
Yeah, this episode's brought to you by the fans.
Thank you.
Yeah, anyone who contributed on our Indiegogo,
you're a bloody legend as we say
back home in new zealand i've become so sensitive to my new zealand accent since being here dude
yeah in what ways like so we were at a party folks in malibu last night and we were hanging
out with a bunch of really cool teenagers but we're 27 and and we're not used to being old yet because we're still in our mid-20s.
But we were like, oh no.
And then also it was real weird because we're New Zealanders
and both Guy and I have quite thick Kiwi accents.
We were coming in pretty hot.
We were freaking out.
Oh man, I scared the shit out of me.
We were freaking out a lot of teenagers at the party.
Yeah, it was like the Kmart, but at a slightly different age range.
We're just worrying people in America.
That's what we say back home in New Zealand.
We say, if you're freaking out the sheep, you're worrying the sheep.
You've got to be like, no, no, no, don't make all that noise in your Jeep.
You will worry the sheep.
You'll worry the sheep.
We're worrying the Americans, bro.
Who cares about whether or not sheep are worried?
Sheep just want to eat grass and walk around
with each other. You can't
worry a sheep. Do you think
they experience worry or is that just a
construct we've attached to them? Because we like
to make everything about us.
I think you can startle a sheep.
I don't think you can worry a sheep.
I don't think a sheep can be
worried about its life. Imagine if you couldn't
startle a sheep as well though. You cannot startle this sheep. Are think a sheep can be worried about its life. Imagine if you couldn't startle a sheep as well, though.
You cannot startle this sheep.
Are you a sheep?
You're an unstartleable sheep.
Yeah, I am a sheep and you cannot startle me.
Anyway.
I want to talk about one of two things.
One of them is either the movie or the other thing is a neat story about that party.
I really...
But I'm going to leave it up to you, Guy.
I really don't want to talk about the movie, bro.
Oh, so you want to talk about the other thing?
What's the other thing, Tim?
I'm not going to do it because it's up to you.
It's your call to come out of the closet.
I'm comfortable sharing this with the podcast.
It was a pretty funny thing that happened to me this morning.
I'd worked sleep in the fantastic penthouse apartment on top of a juicy camper.
I woke up. I was still a little out of it a little hazy from the night before yeah and i um i was like oh i've got to go i've got to do a wheeze so i i get up i'd like somehow jump
there's a ladder but we never ladder up i fell i heard it happen i didn't see it but i heard you
i fell from the top
Of my camper van
Onto the gravel driveway
Where we were staying
And then I lay there
For like
I don't know
A couple minutes
Because it hurt
Yes
Then I got up
Pulled down my pants
And started urinating
And then I was like
Oh I gotta do a fart
I'm gonna do a fart now
And then I sh like, oh, I've got to do a fart. I'm going to do a fart now. And then I shat myself.
I completely bloody shat myself.
I'm pretty sure I heard the moment.
Like, I heard a very wet fart.
And I'm pretty sure I heard a noise resembling like an uh-oh.
Like a noise of regret, verbalized regret on your behalf like something has not gone
terribly right i shat myself at a mansion in malibu and then what i did is i said to tim
hey tim because we were sharing our penthouse i said i shat myself can you give me something
to cut like i pretty much took off the underpants threw them over the fence
I pretty much took off the underpants, threw them over the fence.
Tim gave me a towel kindly provided to us by Juicy.
Yeah, Juicy, I'd recommend you burn that towel if we don't do it first.
I wrapped the towel around my waist, put on a t-shirt,
and walked through the house past all these sleeping teenagers who had just been freaking out the night before.
They were climbing out, man.
They were good sleepers.
Went and cleaned myself up.
You know what my favorite bit about the party was?
They were playing Simon and Garfunkel's
Bridge Over Troubled Water on repeat
about a hundred times in a row
at the maximum volume on some
very loud speakers.
There was normal party music going on
in the normal
party area of the house.
But in this other wing of the house, just blaring
out, Bridge Over Troubled Water again and again and again and again and again. party area of the house. But in this other wing of the house just blearing out It's a very
French over troubled water
again and again
and again and again.
It's a very unique thing
that they were doing
at the party.
That's fucking crazy.
So now that we've
talked about that Tim
Now that that's off our chest
Can we knuckle down
and get to work please?
We bloody should
because we're not here
Can we roll our sleeves up
Yeah.
Bloody put a belt on
put on some steel cap boots
and our big boy pants. And go down
to work. Down in the mine.
Can we go down the mines and talk about
Grown Ups 2? Excuse me elevator
operator. I work here in the mine
and I need you to take me down to the bloody
depths of the 51st watch. That's
right.
Hey so this is the second to last time
we've watched Grown Ups 2.
Oh interesting choice in tense there for that sentence.
I don't know.
You could have picked either, and I think it would have been somewhat correct and somewhat incorrect.
That's okay.
Tim, you asked me a question during the movie.
You said, am I going to miss watching Grown Ups 2?
Am I going to miss Grown Ups 2?
Will you?
No.
Will you miss me?
Probably not.
Like, we live nearby.
Yeah, that's true.
We do stuff together.
We'll still be friends.
Like, I cannot fucking wait to stop watching this movie.
It'll be good, eh?
The movie was happening tonight, and I just could not for the life of me look at the screen.
I could not bring myself to look at the tablet and watch the movie.
Yeah.
could not bring myself to look at the tablet and watch the movie.
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure that's not usually how the movie going experience goes.
No, we usually knuckle down.
Well, what I'm saying is usually when you go to a movie.
Oh, I see.
You like to watch the movie.
Yeah.
I'm pretty sure if we're not capable of looking at the screen anymore that the movie's having an adverse effect on us.
Well, yeah, but I mean, you're saying that in a way like we're suggesting the movie is bad if you watch any
movie 50 times on the 51st you're probably going to avoid the screen i'm going to venture out on a
on a limb here now you be careful now hold on guy stop for a second think about what you're saying
i want you to really watch yourself out there buddy I'm gonna tell you
Hold on now mister
You can't stop me
I'm gonna tell you what I think
Oh god
I think Grown Ups 2 is not a very good movie
Oh Guy Montgomery
How dare you
I think the fact that we've watched it 51 times
Is ridiculous
Yeah
Do you wanna know what I think?
What do you think?
I think you're a real piece of shit, Montgomery.
I respect you,
but I fucking hate you.
I respect you,
but I do not like you one jot,
not one iota,
not one scintilla,
not one atom of your being.
Scintilla?
There isn't a single atom of your being that I like.
I respect all the atoms which comprise you, Tim.
Yeah.
But I do not like you.
I don't like what you're doing i don't like the way you carry yourself as a human being yeah you're a real piece of shit
tim bet you're a real piece of work okay yes i don't know like what are you gonna miss watching
grown-ups too it's certainly not certainly not some people have asked that in earnest like uh
like it's a serious question like you know because you do it every week and isn't it part of your life?
Hey, guess what, guys?
Oh, that's a bad example.
I don't know how to pick an example without sounding like hurtful to a particular set of people.
But it's like chemo.
It's like, I'm not going to miss chemo.
Yeah, but it's not chemo, is it?
Of course it isn't.
But I'm just saying.
But that's the example.
I'm just saying.
Fuck, there's a beautiful night sky out here.
Can we go outside, Tim?
I would love to.
Oh, you mean now?
Yeah.
Oh, fuck.
I'll have to carry the bits and the bobs.
We'll do that after.
Yeah.
We're going to go for such a good one.
Well, we might as well do some features while we're here.
While we've got you.
We've made up these dumb games that we play.
The first one goes like this.
Puppet Doms. Party time. Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa,
Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa,
Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa, Papa coyote in front of us. Patrick, you'll kill the coyote.
Patrick Schwarzenegger just murdered a coyote in cold blood.
It's not called murdering when you're driving a camper van, Kai.
It's called vehicular manslaughter.
Well, whatever he did, he shot one of that coyote dead.
What did you enjoy about Patrick Schwarzenegger's performance?
I enjoyed the vengeful look in his eye every time a coyote was on screen in the movie.
Because to be fair, when a coyote kills your grandma, you got bones to pick.
A lot of people don't know this about Patrick Schwarzenegger, but both his grandparents were... Both sides.
Both sets.
Both grandparents on both sets.
Four total grandparents were murdered...
In separate incidents.
By a vicious pack of coyotes.
It was the craziest thing.
It was the same coyotes.
Yeah.
But they...
They had a real vendetta.
The coyotes are big fans of divide and conquer.
So they managed to basically create situations, scenarios,
where they would get each one of Patty Schwartz's grandparents alone in a room
and then just fucking devoured them while they were still alive.
It's horrible to talk about.
Yeah, yeah, it was pretty gruesome.
It's very insensitive for us to bring it up now.
Yeah.
Anyway, he didn't really have a vengeful look in his eyes
in all those scenes, didn't he?
He was looking out for coyotes to kill.
My real Patty Schwartz party time is there's a wide shot
which lasts for about, I don't know, three quarters of a second
during the rendezvous
with the grown-ups at the quarry.
And it's when he does the, like, Taylor's doing the wolf whistle
to summons all of his brothers from the frat.
And Paddy, like, chucks his arms up in the air.
And his arms seem to go up in time with the guys coming.
So, like, as the numbers increase, so do Paddy's powers.
And that is displayed by Paddy's powers.
And that is displayed by Paddy with his arms going up.
Good work.
Good work, Patrick.
Good work, Tim.
Good work, Tim. I was getting there, bro.
Just give me a second.
Good work, Patrick.
And yes, Tim, you too.
Good work, Tim.
Thanks, dude.
I didn't really have a Paddy Schwartz party time this week.
I thought it would be pretty funny if Patrick Schwarzenegger,
if he secretly went out and got tattoos of our faces.
Yep.
Love it.
On both of his butt cheeks.
Love it.
But obviously that would be a funny thing that's probably not going to happen.
That would be funny if we did the reveal to Patty.
We sent him a photo on Twitter or something being like,
which will happen.
Yeah.
This is a few days away.
This is happening really soon.
We'd be like, hey, Paddy, guess what?
Your face is tattooed to us, both of us.
Full-grown men.
How do you think you'd, like, how would he feel about that?
No, but imagine if he tweeted back and he was like,
guess what, boys?
Already got you.
I got you covered.
He had a tramp stamp of us
That'd be bitchin'
That would be dope
How do you think he's gonna feel
We're like reappropriating his face
I'm just gonna explain what happened there
So we're in pitch blackness
Turn the strobe on
Yeah the strobe
So I've got a torch
I've got a torch hanging up in the van
And uh
I just need to check periodically
we're not going to run out of batteries on the mic thing.
And the torch occasionally will click into strobe mode,
and Monty is a big fan of it.
I'm a big fan of the party.
Look at this, when I knock it,
when I hit it like that,
oh, now we're at a party beach.
Whenever we talk about Patrick Schwarzenegger,
there should be a strobe light going.
Oh, that's making me feel really ill.
I'm turning it off immediately.
There we go.
What was your shining light, bro?
Well, I tuned out of a lot of the movie, bro.
We basically just had a big chat while it was on.
We were looking at it.
This feels like a...
Because the CineFamily event will be...
We're sharing it with the fans,
but this feels more like a personal...
This is like a goodbye...
Retrospective.
It's like a goodbye.
Yeah.
I didn't even think about it in those terms.
Time to say goodbye.
Yeah, you got it.
My voice is fucked up at the moment, man.
That's right.
That was in that movie Step Brothers or whatever.
Do you know
I went to high school
oh no sorry
I went to intermediate school
Do you know I went to high school
with Will Ferrell?
I went to intermediate school
with Hayley Westenra
and she sung that
on like the last day of school.
I didn't know that.
Yeah I was in a musical
with Hayley Westenra.
There's a really interesting
fact about you.
Hayley Westenra
for all of
people who don't know our listeners who don't know
who Hayley Westner is, she's a very successful
New Zealand opera singer. She's a national
treasure. They call it popera what she does.
Yeah, just because she's young though.
She's singing opera.
It's a pretty easy thing to do, isn't it? You just put a P in front of the word
opera and suddenly it's a different word. It's popera.
Popera.
It's funny the labels we all come up with.
Popery is a fun word. Yeah. Popery. It's funny the labels we all come up with, isn't it? Potpourri.
Potpourri is a fun word.
Yeah.
Potpourri is a good smell.
There's a lot to be said about potpourri.
What's potpourri, though?
Because that's another different thing.
No, it's got to be the same thing.
Potpourri and potpourri.
I think you've just been mishearing potpourri.
Oh, really?
I think potpourri is a dish.
My suspicion is you've been mishearing it. What the fuck is that car doing out there, dude?
It's got its headlights directly in on us.
No, it's just parking.
Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
Or going for a drive.
Do you know what I would do if I owned a vehicle?
Drive it.
Drive it where, though?
Roll up, roll up, roll up, roll up
Roll up to the mystery tour and
Roll up, it's an inspiration
Roll up to the mystery tour and
The Steepoosie Mystery Tour is coming to take you away
Coming to take you away
Take you today
Guy, what you might have noticed, or maybe not, is that I skipped a syllable in there
because one of our fans tweeted at me and said, why the fuck have you guys...
Oh, no, it was on the Facebook.
He goes, why have you never said the Steve Bussi mystery...
Steve Bussi mystery tour.
Yeah, like that.
Like, roll it into one and then you don't have to force an extra syllable into the Beatles song.
That's why it works.
And I don't think it works. Just for clarity the beatles song that's why it works and i
don't think it would and just for clarity tim i don't think it works the way we do the theme song
but i appreciate you getting in touch and we gave it a go and now we know on our second to last one
yeah no i'm telling you in general i think the theme song's terrible oh i see the whole thing
yeah oh i enjoy singing it with you yeah anyway. Anyway, Steve Buscemi mystery tour.
Steve Buscemi has suffered an injury, as you all know.
Well, I took Paddy.
I think you should say.
Yeah, yeah.
He's left with 40% feeling in his body and his arms are permanently in the touchdown position.
What could cause this very unique injury to...
Can you see that light out there?
Steve Buscemi.
Yeah, I can see that light out there.
What the fuck is that? I don't know.
Is that a hiker?
That's really weird.
That's a weird light. Because what we're looking at is
the desert and like a lot of
rocks and stuff. Like no one should be out
there. And far off in the distance is
a torch. A really bright light and it's moving
kind of strangely.
Like not walking. Someone's probably just
going back to their car. Yeah.
I'd say so but it's kind of late to be out
there. I was in the middle of speculating
about what caused Steve Buscemi
to suffer from this very unique
injury that he's suffering from.
I'm kind of freaking out about this bright light
outside. I wouldn't worry about the bright light.
Okay. Oh my
God it just went out. Are you looking at it?
It's changing
color, dude. Yeah, I'm looking at it. It went
red. It's a white light and it went
red briefly. No, it's not. You're an idiot. No, it did.
It's someone walking with a
torch. Okay, you're probably right.
Let's continue as planned. Or it could be
a UFO. We are in America. Yeah,
boy. If I was an alien,
I would definitely go to America because you get the most press there. That's why all the aliens are in America. Yeah, boy. Now we're talking. If I was an alien, I would definitely go to America because you get the
most press there.
That's why all the aliens go to America. We watched
Independence Day the other day. That was a funny movie.
Yeah. Anyway, the
Steepie Steepie Mystery Tour. What caused
Steepie Steepie to have this very unique injury?
He was driving a scooter
down to Venice Beach so he could have
a beer with his old friend.
A beer and a taco.
You're not listening to me.
You're just looking at this guy. I am listening to you,
but it's two people
and they're here.
They must be in that car
that's behind us.
Absolutely.
Or they're park rangers
coming to question
what the fuck we're up to
in which case
we're in a bit of trouble, bro.
No, we're not.
No, they are going to a car.
We are fine.
Okay, we're good.
Oh, they are going to that parked
car behind us. They're going to fuck off.
Now we're really alone, guy.
Occam's Razor, bro.
Nice use of Occam's
Razor, bro. Thanks, bro.
You're totally right. That was the correct application
and conclusion.
Steve Buscemi is on his scooter going down
to meet a friend for a beer and a taco
at Venice Beach.
He's driving the scooter pretty quickly, too quickly if you want my honest opinion Buscemi is on his scooter going down to meet a friend for a beer and a taco at Venice Beach. Yeah.
He's driving the scooter pretty quickly, too quickly if you want my honest opinion about it.
And he goes careening in a comical fashion right through a red light, right through a volleyball game on the beach.
He's arrived at the beach now, right out into the ocean. Just blindly driving a scooter into the ocean.
The scooter stops, obviously,
as anything that hits a body of water
when it's in motion will do.
Sure.
You know, I was once riding my bike
back home from school with my friend John O'Gould,
and he turned to me and he said...
Quick shout out to John O'.
And he turned to me and he said,
do you think I can ride this bike across that pond?
And there was like a full
Is Jono Gould Jesus? And there was like a full
30 metre pond to our right. I was like
no. And he's like I'll bet you
10 bucks I can. And?
And turned his bike and rode
into the pond. And? And made it out
about 2 metres before it just stopped.
And he just. Yeah no shit Jono.
Went top thing of his bike into the water.
Jono's a fucking lawyer now, dude.
That's a concern.
He's not a bright lad.
It's a pretty stupid thing to do.
Oh, bad at physics, good at law.
Anyway, yeah, Stevie Stevie pretty much did that,
and a shark came, and it didn't bite him, obviously,
but it just nudged him really powerfully
because the water is the shark's natural environment. Nud it was a powerful nudge that's a very interesting verb
and adverb it was a very interesting injury yeah yeah that's not what you'd expect to happen
nah dude a lot of traffic through this part of town yeah it's still not that late even though
it's really dark here in california because it winter. It's quarter past nine, so people will be doing their thing.
Anyway, hey, thanks for the Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour.
Shark attack, but not in the way that you know it.
A powerful nudge, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah, and then whatever happens to him happens.
Yeah, as a result of riding his scooter too fast and blindly through a red light on Venus.
Yeah, well, there wasn't a lot of sort of cohesion to the Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour this week,
but that's what you get.
Sometimes you open up the oven and the bread's not cooked.
You go, that dog ain't going, huh.
You shouldn't have put the dog in the oven.
Get the dog out of the oven.
Do you reckon that's how hot dogs got invented?
Get the dog out of the oven. My reckon that's how hot dogs got invented?
Get the dog out of the oven My parents are coming over for dinner
Someone put a dog in the oven accidentally
No
Dogs love weird spaces
So do cats right
So a dog jumped in an oven
Owner didn't realise the door shut behind him
That's a hot dog
Owner turns on the oven to preheat it
To make a casserole
If you turn on an oven
You're going to notice there's an animal inside the oven.
No, man, not if your light's broken,
which it was this time.
For the inventor of the hot dog.
Yeah.
Well, we're covering a lot of ground tonight, Tim.
We're covering a lot of ground.
Far and wide.
That is our reach.
Far and wide.
You know, my shining light
was the blue paint gag
that happens to Principal Tardio at the school.
Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh, the one where he gets dumped on him from above? Or the footprints? No Principal Tardio at the school. Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Oh, the one where he gets dumped on him from above?
Or the footprints?
No, no, no, the footprints.
But just when the paint came out of the car.
They went to a lot of trouble for that gag.
That's a funny gag.
Yeah.
You know.
Okay, cool, man.
You've got to respect that.
Cool, man.
I dig it.
I feel like I'm running out of conversation about grown-ups, too.
Yeah, no, fair enough.
I'll give you my shining light.
I'm running out of conversation about grown-ups too.
Yeah, no, fair enough.
I'll give you my shining light.
Let me pick up that ball which you've so ably run with for the last few yards.
I've been running down the rugby field with a ball.
I thought you were an NFL man.
Trying to score. Did you change coats?
Trying to score a try.
Good man.
What a good man.
So my shining light is that Brayden Higgins is secretly a fucking good actor, man.
Yeah, you were really loving Brayden Higgins during this during this watch really enjoyed his performance and i know you
were yelling it you were shouting out about brayden look i'll scream it from the rooftops
brayden higgins is a good ass people need to know about brayden higgins i'm gonna tell everyone i
meet in hollywood uh to hire brayden higgins and they won't know who i'm talking about
but he's in hunger games and everyone tells me course they won't. But he's in Hunger Games
and everyone tells me he's great in there.
But he's a dick.
Do you know his name?
I mean, his character in Hunger Games is a dick.
Do I know his name?
Yeah.
No, dude.
No, I'd be saying it if I knew it.
Neither do I.
As far as I know,
he's just a guy called Braden Higgins.
He's Braden Higgins.
Yeah.
And he's a warlock.
I'm really scared
that the following thing's going to happen, okay?
Tell me what you're scared about.
We're going to end the podcast,
and we're going to go for a wander in the desert with a torch
because it's so attractive.
That seems like such a cool thing to do.
And we're going to fucking die out there.
That's obviously what we're going to do.
We're not going to die.
I'm really good with coyotes.
Okay.
And scorpions and whatever other things they have here. No'm really good with coyotes. Okay. And scorpions
and whatever other things
they have here.
No, I don't reckon
we'll run into any scorpions.
Well, it's hard to say.
Scorpions are only little.
You said you were going to
tuck your socks into your pants.
Are you going to do that?
That's when I thought
it was a real threat.
What?
I'm not convinced it is.
Scorpions are a real threat.
Yeah, but we'll be
chucking a light around.
Won't they scurry?
No, they might be
attracted to the light.
Nah, not scorpions.
They're frady cats.
What do you think would be a good...
Do you know if you pour alcohol on a scorpion, it will sting itself to death?
So if we, what, just go walking around with a bear?
Not bear.
Bear's not strong enough.
But if you have a spirit, if you've got something like whiskey or vodka,
and you pour it on a scorpion, it will kill itself by stinging itself.
It goes crazy.
I didn't know that.
The more you know, eh?
It's a good fact.
We should have bought some vodka so that we could kill scorpions.
It's kind of weird when you string it together.
I didn't come out of the desert to kill scorpions.
I came out of the desert to conquer grown-ups too.
Well, we did that, for sure.
Guy, I feel like this is a good place to leave it.
I feel like if these are our
last words before we go out into the desert for our untimely death i i'm happy with the life i've
led yeah i'm sad for the people i'd be leaving behind but i'd like to say they'll be okay they're
all strong people i'd like to thank grown-ups too for bringing us to the desert yeah i think that
was a very good thing of grown-ups too to do. Yeah. To host us
out here. Thanks peeps.
You know
it's a very expensive movie
that we've watched a lot of times
and now we're going to go for a walk in the
desert. Possibly die.
So thanks very much for listening.
We're not going to die. We might though.
We've got muesli bars.
Well that changes everything. We're definitely not going to die of malnutrition. No. I'd never suggest. It's something that's going to die. We might, though. We've got muesli bars. Well, that changes everything.
We're definitely not going to die of malnutrition.
No, I'd never suggest...
Something's going to kill us.
Nothing's going to kill us.
Shit.
Uh-oh.
I think I broke the torch.
Oh, no, I did break the torch.
Damn it.
That's really a game changer.
You broke the cord it's attached to.
Bugger.
Anyway, we've been the worst idea of all time.
And we'll catch it...
Truly living up to our name. We'll catch The worst idea Of all time And we'll catch it Truly living up
To our name
We'll catch it
Cinefamily
Or never
Yeah
As the case may be
Yeah
Thank you very much
For listening
Yeah thank
Hey
Thank you for listening
Yeah
Sincerely
Like
What are you up to
You can follow us
On Facebook
Don't though
Don't watch the movie
Don't follow us For the love of god Don't watch it Don't watch the movie. Don't follow us.
For the love of God, don't watch the movie.
Don't listen to this podcast.
Just go about your business.
Pretend we're not in the room.
Yeah, just have a normal life.
Okay.
All right.
We love you guys.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye. Cause before you know it, your precious time slips away.