The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Five - Frayed

Episode Date: October 7, 2018

This week, Tim and Guy attempt to drill into the accounting practices of Hollywood, animal cruelty on screen and also attempt to name five characters from the film. One thing is clear, Tim and Guy's relationship is growing strained. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome along to the Worst Idea of All Time with me Guy Montgomery and myself Tim Batt. This is week five as we engage with the worst idea of all time. What is that idea you say? Well I'm so glad you asked. This is a podcast in which myself and Guy watch the movie Grownups 2 repetitively, once a week to be specific, and then we release a short podcast of about 20 or 25 minutes talking about our feelings, our thoughts, and what we think of the movie week to week and a little bit about ourselves as well along the way. Occasionally. Probably more and more as the viewing sessions continue.

Anyway, this was numero five. Numero cinco. Or as the French would say, cinq. Is that right? Un, deux, trois, quatre. Cinq. Cinq. Cinq.

Have you ever been to France? No Do you know how you spell cinq? No C-I-N-Q Do you know how to spell cinco? I reckon you could guess It's pretty phonetic

C-I-N-C-O You got it You cracked it Muy bien I know that because there was an NFL player Called Chad Johnson Who wore number 85 And he legally changed his name by deed poll

To Ocho Cinco That's awesome spanish for 85 yeah i think he's in prison now okay so grown-ups too what a film what a film this time um gotta be honest me and guy mentally but i was just looking over at him uh we were on different characters usually we're huddled up on the same yeah that's right usually we're sitting side by side today i think there was there's a definitely was definitely a change in atmosphere in the room. It was more chill. I think we checked out mentally quite early on in the piece.

That's right. I remember the whole movie, but I just wasn't engaging with it as intensely as I have in previous weeks, which I think, as far as mental health is concerned, is a really sage piece of decision making. Fuck yes. I mean, you... Can you imagine engaging with this film five times with full mental capacity? It'd be crippling. I don't think it's possible.

Now, you were coming in, you were not in a great mood even before we watched the movie. I was fine. You were not. Be honest. You were feeling a little bit blue. I was... I'm just... I'm tired is all.

That's all. I've been up since 4.30am. Wow, what better way to celebrate making it 12 hours into a day. Not quite 12, what, 10 hours I guess it was. Yeah, when we started. You were a little bit of grown ups too. Now Tim, I mean, early on, you know, immediately right off the back of seeing the film for the fifth time, what are your takeaways, how are you feeling, what do you want to talk about this week um i i did want to delve into some stuff

what was it i wanted to talk about um the party scene because we skimmed we seem to skip over it a lot there was something that we keep saying in the film that we keep forgetting to mention on the podcast and you brought it up this week i can't remember what it was well and i said let's remember to talk about it yeah well, I sort of put the onus of remembering on you, which you have neglected. Dang it. No, we will sit here and remember.

What? You can't. This is horrible content for the actual... We'll get it. You know, this is like... Just stop talking if you're not remembering. I'm not going to remember. I'm having a great day. I went for a run. I feel like I'm getting...

All right, let's run through the movie. So we've got a moose at the start. It's a deer. Adam Sandler calls it a deer. That's right. We established this week that the thing at the start is a CGI deer because Adam Sandler calls it a deer. And what we've learned from watching this movie five times

is always trust Adam Sandler, who wrote deer. And what we've learned from watching this movie five times is always trust Adam Sandler who wrote, produced and starred in this film. Do you know, I never realised that they named, oh fuck, I've forgotten his name, like one of the main, David Spade's son, Higgins' son. Brayden. Brayden, yeah. Brayden Higgins. It took me the fifth watch to figure out that they'd given him a name, but they actually

say it quite a lot. In fairness, the sheer number of characters being introduced means it's forgivable to forget i mean and even from week to week to remember it one week and forget it the next week that's okay too yeah i can't do you think you could name five characters from this movie by their characters names lenny fader yeah played by adam sandler yeah higgins who never gets a first name yeah that's true donnie mckenzieenzie is Chris Rock's son. Fuck off. How do you know that?

Because I've watched the credits twice. Oh, right. I feel like you're cheating if you've watched the credits. Well, no, because I've already run out. So even then you can't name? No. Bumpdy. Bumpdy what?

Bumpdy. Nick? The bus driver? How amazingly forgettable is this movie? We've seen it five times and we can't name five characters out of approximately the 30 characters that are in it. The 30 hundred. That's amazing, man. That's a cinematic feat to make a film so bland and forgettable that you can't even grasp onto shit when you try.

There were moments in today's viewing, which previously I've been happy to look past or just ignore as cinematic negligence or whatever, but today they irked me and they ground me. Throw me specifics, Monty. They irked me Throw me specifics Monty Okay here's the first one

When Adam Sandler takes control of the school bus And does this Thing where he goes He says like I'm your bus driver today And then does this dumb trumpet motion With his hands and makes his eyes It's more of a clarinet motion And sticks his tongue out

and it's just like, me and Guy were watching that today and we've mentioned it in previous weeks though not in the podcast and just been like, that is some fucking lazy movie making right there That is Adam Sandler like really really mailing it in, that's Adam Sandler, I actually I created the metaphor today I said it to him, this is Adam Sandler, this is what it's like

when Adam Sandler is picking up his kids from school and he's got no energy, he doesn't want to be doing the task but he's doing the task and the kids get in the car he's like I should try and be funny and he half-heartedly less than half-heartedly I'd say he gave it about 22% pretends to play a clarinet and do a silly face not that that's even like referencing something it's not like if he fully committed to that gag it would be any funnier because it wouldn't be but just do it because you're making a movie bruh like those few seconds of film that have made the final cut in the release and the version that we're watching uh how much would that equate to in terms of money like if you boil it all down to the promotion and

the production budget and how much everyone spent getting run on board and all that shit and you divide that by the number of seconds in the film, that shit gag probably costs hundreds of thousands of dollars. Yeah. So what the fuck, Adam Sandler? So you've got to respect Adam Sandler for putting himself in a position to be that powerful. I actually had a specific request this week. People really enjoy your theory or the excitement that you feel around sort of these movies with household names where they're all mailing it in uh and the success that

you feel they're guaranteed oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah totally it's an account it's strange accounting practices in hollywood yes and listening back to some of the podcasts i feel like i haven't really necessarily pushed the right buttons uh to ask you exactly sort of the science behind the theory or why why exactly and i know you've sort of mentioned in passing me before is it such a sure thing that you put these four recognizable faces on a poster yeah are people going to go to this movie well i don't know the accounting like exactly i if i did i probably wouldn't be doing a podcast where I have to watch the movie every single week. I would probably be making movies in Hollywood and be filthy stinking rich.

But I just know that when you kind of like, there's all these weird ways that, okay, I'll give you an example. And fuck, I don't have this verbatim. Like I wish I could Google this right now. No, no, no, no, no. But it's something like, you know, the first two Star Wars movies

still haven't made a profit or some shit like that because of the weird way that they do the accounting around it and the numbers. Like, they can make anything a success or anything a failure, really, like in terms of the taxable amount that the movie makes. So you look at the greatest flops of all time. What's that, Waterworld, maybe?

Yeah. And that Disney movie that came out i think two years ago what was it called john smith i think it was cool yeah yeah which is the fucking like literally the most boring name that i could think of for a movie especially for kids i mean why why have why have hollywood or the producers or execs behind these not willed these particular stinkers to success i guess there are limits to the theory that you can make anything you know not tank prevent it from tanking and i'm not saying you can like invent a huge box office success but i'm saying like you can make a movie profitable

do you think the movie needs to meet certain standards or do you no no not at all i just mean like some okay so the case of john smith like that movie just took an ass ton of money to make and nobody saw it. So it's like you don't have enough places to hide the expenses. Like it's just, that's always going to bankrupt a little small studio that we know is Disney. So, and obviously, I mean, I'm asking you to sort of expand on your conspiracy, do we call it a conspiracy theory?

Sure. There's a little bit more than maybe you've researched for. I didn't tell you coming in that I was going to be sort of hammering you like a bloody nail. But where do they hide the losses? Where do they find the profits? I mean, do you know anything about the margins, the sort of fine print? There's a lot in there about franchising and stuff. Pixar's Cars was one of their least successful movies as a film,

but every single child in North America, obviously I'm using hyperbole, had that fucking backpack and that bedspread. And that lunchbox. And that lunchbox. So therefore, the movie becomes an unbridled success. Now, I'm dubious about this film that cost... The franchise value on grown-ups too.

Well, yeah, that's true. Who's buying a grown- Ups 2 bedspread? Who wants to sleep? Who wants to buy their child a bedspread with Adam Sandler's creepy face plastered all over it? He does have a creepy face, eh? You know what? Adam Sandler's got a creepy face.

Do you reckon he's had work done? No, he hasn't had work done. That's his face. Look, and I've got to say, there were moments in today's movie when I turned to you and I said, that's some really real acting from Adam Sandler. Yeah.

But I did find his character more deplorable than the last four times today. So you're coming around. He yells at his kids. Yeah. A lot. Yeah. Without any real prompt. And you still don't get where I'm coming from with the bully thing,

because Stone Cold Steve Austin arrives on the scene, and they always try to set up the fact that Kavanagh, who is Stone Cold Steve Austin arrives on the scene, and they always try to set up the fact that Kavanagh, who is Stone Cold, has been a real dick to him in the past, but I'm never getting that sense. I just get the sense that Adam Sandler, a.k.a. Lenny Fader, has just always kind of slightly misread the situation, been really antagonistic,

and just been a bit of an arsehole his whole life. Well, it's entirely possible. I mean, I suppose. I think what when i saw adam sandler i saw a flash of the real negative adam sandler and i mean i'm still i still stand by the idea that adam sandler was with me through childhood i'm still an adam sandler fan but uh it's when he's when he's in kmart which they mentioned six times explicitly in in in the name of each film that's how you fucking make this movie profitable. Product placement.

And he, so he gets bullied because he never fought back to Stone Cold Steve Austin in intermediate school or whatever. Yes. And he falls off this exercise machine. Yes.

And then Kevin James shows up and is laughing at him saying, gotcha. And he sort of turns on him. Yeah, because he tricks me. Oh yeah, you weren't so tough., yeah, you weren't so tough. You know, you weren't so tough. You never jumped off the big 35-foot drop of the water hole.

But you can see in his eyes there's some realism there. You can see the evil part of Adam Sandler sort of flaring up, and it's probably one of the strongest pieces of acting in the movie. That and maybe when he yells at his daughter, who's tiny and just this adorable little girl. He just repetitively yells at her. Hey, I want to take a step back because we are getting fucking deep into this movie,

like, concerningly deep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Too deep. What have you got for me? I want to read you a customer review of our podcast. Did you read this? No. Someone wrote us a review on iTunes.

This is it. That's very flattering. Well, you haven't heard it yet, but it actually is. It's amazing. An important podcast about an important film. This podcast is good enough. I don't like your tone.

They're being mean. They're sarcastic. I don't think they are. I'll read it different. This podcast is good enough that I would even listen if they reviewed a movie other than Grown Ups 2. When Guy and Tim failed to talk about Rob Schneider's hot daughter turning up and the game of bow and arrow roulette, I realised to my embarrassment

that I've actually seen the first grown-ups. Superlative podcast reviewing. Five stars from G-Doggy. G-Doggy, thank you. It sounds like at the end there, G-Doggy's reviewing G-Doggy's review more than the actual podcast. That's meta.

I've got to say, I actually got, someone wrote on my wall on Facebook, which is a hell of a piece of social media, I've got to say, just from Dob1. You can't just review everything now, man. I'm not. You can't just review Facebook.

That's stupid. Well, I mean, but if I was, I would say things like it's incredibly Moorish. What I am going to say to you, Timbett, is that the review was from a man named Todd who's been listening to the podcast and for whatever reason, despite our suggestion not to watch the film, he watched the film.

Oh, no. What did Todd think? He said... What's he done? I appreciate you have to suffer for your art, but for the love of God, man, are you okay? Why are you doing this you doing this man we got to do one year we got to do a year i'm so into the idea of 52 52 times i think 52 is certainly certainly the

maximum amount of times um so i mean to some other tweets who might be listening oh yeah uh you know what todd i mean i think that sort of question is the beauty of the podcast and why it's happening is we don't know why we're doing it, and we're certainly not enjoying it. There was a real sense of dread in the car on the way to the house today. We arrived in the house. Tim Batts sort of turned his back on the couch and sort of faced the back of the couch

as though he was terrified to look at the TV. I mean, morale is low. Anyway, you've got some tweets you want to share. Well, I only won, actually. I thought I had a whole bunch. It turns out I've only got one. It's just from Alice. She said, why do you keep starting the week with this torture?

And in fairness to Alice, we took that feedback on board, and usually we've been watching at 9 o'clock on a Monday each week, whereas today you'll find that we watched it sort of around 2.30. That was out of necessity, though. That wasn't a find that we watched it sort of around 2 30 so there was out of necessity though there wasn't a choice that we made no no but i mean i actually got i got some stuff i went for this run i was telling you about you know i mean i sort of started off the day i was in a in a good mood feeling positive hey i've also i'm just searching through my tweets now i've not only tuned out to the movie i've tuned out to your droning did you you see that it's pronounced speaking sure you saw you said guy in a um an interview that you did recently to sit through this movie week after

week is probably the bravest thing i've done uh true or false well obviously the the obviously it's a reasonably transparent plug got the article right here on my phone it's a reasonably transparent plug that i i placed in an interview that i don't even know if anyone read but uh i i do i do genuinely think that you know i've i've taken up running before i've done push-ups in the morning before i've done various different things which i don't enjoy but i do because i understand that there's a there's you know it's for the greater good do you feel the same way about this podcast i do i think there's a benefit and a payoff i do feel that doing this i don't feel there's a benefit or a payoff which is why i think i qualified it as one of the bravest things i've

done is because we are valiantly sort of dragging ourselves into this room week after week with no visible end game, no light at the end of the tunnel, no redeeming quality. And frankly, I don't know the numbers on this thing, but I still don't know that anyone is or would listen to this. It's not, you know, it's not enough. It's not enough to justify doing it. I wouldn't describe it as a glamorous sort of behind-the-scenes look. To paraphrase what you just said using your own words, this is from the same interview,

which you appear to have done with some online zine or something of that nature. Coup de main. If anyone, you know, better give them a point. I wouldn't even know how to spell that. It's French, like song. The question asked was, what is the most heroic thing that you've ever done?

Guy's response. I didn't, first of all, just before you respond, I didn't like the question because I haven't done much. Guy's response. It's actually an ongoing thing that involves a very subjective interpretation of the word heroic. I'm currently involved in a social experiment slash podcast with a friend called Tim Batt.

That's nice that you called me a friend. In which we watch and discuss Grown Ups 2 once a week. Anyone anyone who has sat through grown-ups too once is already a hero in my eyes but to sit through this movie week after week is probably the bravest thing i've done if against all odds this sounds like the sort of abomination you'd like to listen to the podcast is called the worst idea of all time and then you've provided a link yeah so you're you can't you like you write what we're doing that's the feeling i get i don't write what i'm doing i just didn't have i didn't have anything heroic in my back catalog of actions and i freaked out and i thought how can i how can i work this

so i plugged a podcast that we do now it's time now it's time for the worst idea of all time shining light what was your your favorite shining moment my shining my shining light today tim was selma hayek adam sandler's wife mrs fader i'm sure we hear her name at some point but i don't remember it uh she's yeah she should definitely know her name by this stage She is leaving the house Her kids are hanging out at the bottom of the driveway Getting ready to go to school And Adam Sandler's hanging out with his children In sort of a rare display of competent parenting from the man

And she's actually going the other way She's driving to work She's not taking her kids to school Even though they're leaving at the exact same time And they're going in exactly the same direction Because it's a small town Anyway, she leans out the car window and she says have the best last day of school ever my glorious children i love you all uh and it's sort of i don't know why i like it so much you think guy's embellishing that delivery and he's

not yeah she actually doesn't stumble over it in the middle like i did but there's something about it it happens every week and i guess the absurdity of the yelling and the fact that she's sort of wishing this positivity on her children while neglecting them so blatantly it's sort of it's it's an exciting and interesting paradox and the way i'm talking about this ridiculous moment and this ridiculous film tells me that we are certainly on track to lose our mind oh yeah we're going, we're going deep. We're going deep on this one, boy. I can't even think of a redeeming moment of the film for me today.

Surely. Come on, Tim. Not to say that it was so awful. It was just, I think I'm putting up walls now. I think I'm putting up mental blockades so that I don't get too involved in it. You were, I've got to say, I was disappointed by your contribution as a viewer of the movie today. What are you talking about? I felt like you were checked out.

Well, listen, man. I watched the whole thing. Yeah, I watched the whole thing. And you actually went for a piss, and I didn't pause it. I said you can pause it if you want. I know what you said. I know what you said. I said it stays on.

Yeah, no, you didn't say it stays on. I said the movie keeps going. No, you didn't say either of those things. I said it stays on. Yeah, no, you didn't say it stays on. I said the movie keeps going. No, you didn't say either of those things. I said we must continue. No, you said I'm not going to pause it. I think my favourite part of the fifth viewing of Grown Ups 2 today would have... Shit, I don't know, man. I really...

Fuck. Do you know what I liked? I liked how genuinely vacant Kevin James' child appears to be. I don't think it's acting. I think they've just found some dumb kids. This is transparent from you. I know. You didn't even enjoy any moment of the movie this week. No, no, no.

There were bits. No, you see, you're making this up because we talked during the movie about how that overcooked the stupidness of the character no you said that and you you agreed your eyes agreed with me they they they labored the point we get it kevin james's kid is stupid you did not that is not i i'm sorry i shouldn't i shouldn't attack your shining light but i'm i'm saying you know this is why i think you need to focus a little harder next week tim do you know it's a weird bit of the movie when uh they're at the party and a dog is doing a beer bong i'm so glad you brought it up assisted by a human it's not like the dog do you know who the human is

do you know who the human is? Do you know who the lady feeding the dog the beer bong is? You know when they're coming out of Kmart and there's a woman with four children pushing a trolley towards the mall? Oh, yeah, and they go on about how awful it would have felt. And she goes, I wish I never had you. Yeah. That is the same character who feeds the dog the beer bong at the party. How in God's name did you figure that out?

Can you see? I thought you just saw the dog. Do you see her? You see the lady. It starts off. The shot. God, see, if you paid any attention, you would know what I'm talking about. The shot starts on her pouring a beer into a beer bong.

And you think, oh, hey, hopefully she's feeding it to Frank the Tank from old school. And this movie has one redeeming feature. But no, the camera pans down and she's feeding it to a dog. And she says something like take it you animal and it's the lady from the from the car park see it's moments like that which is so unsettling because you go okay i i get it you're trying to like make a goof make it funny make a little gag in the movie there you don't understand that this is abuse like this is an evil see but they're thinking beyond that they're thinking is the stand-up comics i think

kevin james is a history in stand-up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. This is a callback. This is a classic callback. When is the dog drinking? It's a buried... No, it's not the dog.

It's the recurring character. It's a buried treasure for those of us who watch the movie five times and pay attention in the fifth viewing, Tim. Shut up. And you're lucky I even shared that with you. I should have kept it to myself gone home and thought about it in private are you done what is the callback to

the character it's like it's a treat it's a treat to have a recurring character in the movie she doesn't need to throw a beer down a canine's throat she doesn't throw the beer she pours the beer the dog looks like it enjoys the

beer bong let's do you reckon this is going to get worse let's go home do you know what this will just i think it's getting better if anything um hey something else i want to mention briefly uh you insisted on doing a little bit of drinking through this one you insisted on having two beers and i tried to say no yeah look i just i just thought of myself what is it one hour 40 minutes 101 minutes yeah yeah your theory is to stay good enough to drive is like good enough to podcast which i can it's got its merits but i just think what we need to do because if we're really going to commit to this for 52 weeks guy we've got to have interesting elements brought in each time.

And so, like, we can't just go blowing our load at episode five with introducing beers. I hardly think drinking two beers during the fifth viewing is what we would constitute as blowing our load on the fifth watch. All right? All I'm saying is it's a beautiful day. You know, I was feeling a little blue about watching the podcast. I thought, what's a little, I mean, what is just,

how much do we want to torture ourselves? And obviously a lot because we're doing it every week. But, I mean, what's wrong with having two beers during the movie? I feel like we, yeah, okay. I think I stand by the decision. Okay. Look, Tim, you know, you're a great guy. Hell of a guy.

I've got to be honest. You know, there's a lot of stuff you do I respect, but the way you behaved today was unprofessional, and I don't think I can be in the same room as you for much longer. Okay. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to take your feedback on board, quickly ignore it, come back next week, do the exact same thing again,

and we'll see what you get. All right. We'll see what you get. Also, this week we're going to set up a Facebook page, worst idea of all time. And, I mean, to people like Todd who have watched the movie, I would quite like to incorporate a feedback segment. So we'll get the

page set up if you like the podcast like the page and uh and we'll be able to take your feedback ideas everything on board or people like that person whose name i forget um if you just listen to the podcast g doggy then uh review our review podcast yeah i mean i guess what i'm saying is is we need you we need you Can't stress that enough. Can't stress that enough. Don't watch the movie. Don't watch the movie. We'll do that for you. My name's Guy Montgomery. I'm Tim Batt. Now go forth and prosper.