The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Forty Seven - Germans
Episode Date: November 20, 2018Guy and Tim are on the road again, the road to watching Grown Ups 2. With just 5 episodes to go - the boys' mental sanity appears to be at an all time low. The boys momentarily become German tourists,... Tim reminds everyone that Stone Cold is in the movie and there's a serious questions asked of the co-hosts' parents. Plus a confusing toilet paper themed shining light and a beaut of a Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour. And you know what else? You do not mop tar seal. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hey everybody and welcome to the worst idea of all time with myself Tim Batt and me Guy
Montgomery. This is episode 47. five we did it five to go and
it's a pleasure to be here conditions are perfect yeah things couldn't be any better if they tried
to be better they couldn't be that's how I feel that's certainly how you feel Tim um let's dive
straight into it no let's not We've got to launch a product.
What product?
Oh, right, us.
We're the product.
You better take the reins on this one, bud.
Clearly I am ill-equipped.
So if you're listening to this, that means that we've launched a Kickstarter in the hopes of getting us all the way to Los Angeles, California.
Los Angeles, California.
Los Angeles, California.
Which is such a long way away for us Kiwis.
That's right.
It's like a dreamland that doesn't exist.
We're not going to bore you with the details here.
Someone made up.
But suffice it to say, if you're listening, please click onto it.
It's on our Facebook page.
We'll bore you with the details plenty.
Are you joking me?
The details are.
People want to hear the details.
Look, the details are we didn't make any money from this.
We want to do the last episode in LA.
Yeah.
And we'd love a helping hand.
Just a gentle hand lifting us into the airplane.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh.
Guys lost it.
Guys, go on, people.
No, I was just saying I like it.
What you're hearing
Is a broken man
A broken man
At the end of
Too many grown ups
I won't stand for that
Look I genuinely feel like
What say we've
We've climbed Everest
And at the very start
Of the descent
There were some
Crags
Some icy tundras
Schism?
Yeah some schisms
Is that the word you were looking for?
A crevasse, maybe.
There's like a, what I'm saying is it was difficult.
It was difficult.
Chasm's the word.
They say that when you climb Mount Everest,
you've only done half the job,
because getting back down is just as dangerous as getting up.
And I feel like that analogy is perfect
for the grown-ups to ascent and descent.
I genuinely feel like we're almost down at the lowermost base camp
and we've got a bunch of Sherpas with us.
Are they as good as Tenzing?
Someone's probably shipped in some Blaze pizza.
I'm thinking that's how far down the mountain we are
that we've got access to Blaze pizza.
Bro, let me tell you how good both Tenzing and Blaze pizza are.
Tenzing's a good enough Sherpa to bring those artisanal ingredients,
and Blaze Pizza are good enough to warrant bringing them on the trip.
They're both as excellent as each other.
It's a match made.
And I look forward to seeing you and Tenzing at Blaze Pizza in Los Angeles, California.
I don't think you'll see Sherpa Tenzing in Los Angeles, California.
So anyway, the analogy, the mental imagery that you were painting there is that we're on the way down.
Well, what I'm saying is that I'm so...
Nearly done.
Yeah.
Nearly done, love.
That's us.
Oh, not long.
Some sort of...
My knees hurt.
Some Geordie British guy just about to finish six.
Oh, nearly done, love.
Not long now.
It was the office episode where he's got to throw a boot over the bar.
Yeah.
And then the closeout is, it's not dawn.
Finchie's gotten his rocks off with someone.
It's been a while since I saw that show.
Bloody good show.
Great, mate.
It's really nice detail to pepper in there.
So we're on the mountain, Guy, you and I,
inexperienced, ill-equipped, and ill-advised.
We came in hardy like a bunch of German tourists
going into a national park in the middle of central North Island, New Zealand.
But much like the German tourists, we didn't bring a compass,
we didn't bring rope, we didn't bring enough rations, food, sunblock,
or clothing to keep us warm overnight, and we have lost our way, Guy Montgomery. We didn't bring enough rations, food, sunblock, or clothing to keep us warm overnight.
And we have lost our way, Guy Montgomery.
We are lost.
We cannot see the wood for the trees.
No, I'm saying despite those seemingly insurmountable odds,
I mean, we didn't bring any supplies.
We are German tourists, as you stated,
in a national park in the North Island of New Zealand.
My name is Franz.
Okay, Franz.
Okay, Franz, What I'm saying is
we have made it down the mountain.
Who are you going to be?
Klaus.
Oh, Klaus.
My old friend.
I remember when Klaus and I
were in school together
in Berlin
because it is the only German town I know.
It's more of a city
when you think about it. I'm not from germany i'm from new
zealand what i'm saying is that despite those insurmountable odds you don't commit man you
gotta commit to the bit i've always said that because if you piss off germans shit gets real
real all of a sudden all i'm saying is that despite the fact we didn't take supplies,
we don't need to worry about the supplies anymore.
We could survive on oxygen and walking daily.
There's only five to go.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
We're so close to...
Like we can see...
People can't hear us,
but they can see us.
Okay, you can see a church spire
in the faraway town.
You're close enough to like civilization to a settled town that they've got a spire, some sort of church spire.
What religion are the Nepalese?
Yeah, I wouldn't imagine you'd get a lot of spires down near the base of Everest.
I don't know.
They're Buddhists predominantly, I'd guess.
That's probably right.
Hey, good on you, Nepal.
Yeah, this is a pretty relaxed one.
Shout out.
Massive shout out to Nepal. Massive shout out. And to on you, Nepal. Yeah, this is a pretty relaxed one. Shout out. Massive shout out to Nepal.
Massive shout out.
And to Buddhists,
actually.
Yeah,
mate.
Covers more land mass,
mate.
Gotta get the numbers up.
Get all your shout outs out now.
Get them all out at the top.
Jesse,
happy birthday from your dad
and your uncle,
Mick.
Shout out.
Any other shout outs?
Shout out to my son,
your son,
Kevin,
who's doing his first ever half iron man marathon today at five years old kevin we're cheering you on from here god bless we're so it's too bad your
dad couldn't make it there's just business was calling i just i've got to drive the truck that's
why i'm ringing the radio to get the shout out to you mate shout out we're not on the radio
anyway soon though i'd like to talk about
There's a sentence which I always
Sort of am surprised by my saying
I'd like to talk about Grown Ups 2
Please tell me more
First of all
Klaus
I noticed
Franz or Fritz
Whatever your name is
That Jansport
Undeniably stumped up some money for this movie
They did this time
They hadn't in all the other times we've watched the movie they had but they'd done it so well my theory is that jansport is so
popular and ubiquitous that you don't even notice their product in there because you're so used to
seeing a jansport backpack it doesn't even jar you out of the world of the film you're just like oh
of course i appreciated that you had the audacity to use ubiquitousness. Ubiquitous.
Ubiquity.
I only know about it because of Roy Ayers.
Yeah, you chucked it in there with such a lot of enthusiasm and confidence,
but you kind of slowed down when you got to it,
like a speed bump in the road?
No, it wasn't like a speed bump.
It was like me slowing down past a fancy restaurant
in my new car to be like,
Ubiquitous.
Yeah, I'm like, hey,
Looks delicious.
Yeah, my car is called Ubiquitous.
I'm showing off my car to the diners.
Oh, right.
So you were slowing down for everyone else, not for yourself.
I was slowing down for everyone.
Baller.
Goddamn word baller.
Anyway, well, we sort of derailed the point,
but Jan Sport, good work on some sub-product placement.
Well done, Jan Sport.
I want to know when people talk sales figures about growing ups to how many tickets or
how much it raised if that includes all the sponsorship deals well it's 80 80 million dollars
is the nine figure do you think 80 million dollars plus no 80 million was the production budget
or not so how much is that it's more of it made 230 it made 230 mil but we don't know
if that's just ticket sales,
at what stage that includes DVDs and Blu-rays,
if it includes the sponsorship.
If you think about product placement,
they're not paying on like a,
they're not going to chart,
they're not on a commission,
they're not charting how well the movie does,
then taking a percentage.
So you're saying it is in that 230?
I'm saying,
well what I'm wondering is how much of the 80 mil production budget.
We're seeing Jansport.
We're seeing Motts.
We're seeing a lot of Motts.
You know who we should be seeing?
Blaze fucking pizza.
It seems like a match made in heaven, you know?
Well, with those delicious fresh ingredients and the rate at which they sort of churn those pizzas out one after another.
Hashtag as delicious as the last.
Hashtag art is anal.
Those ingredients are fresh, hand-picked, and delicious.
And the whole pizza only takes 180 seconds in a flash cooker.
How cool is that? The trouble with what we're doing here, Tim,
is we're not getting to the end of a lot of the points.
I wrote down like four points.
I didn't even know you had a point.
Where are you going with this one?
You do not mop tar seal.
All right.
Tell me more.
When Principal Tardio, when the kids, the classic pranksters,
probably a couple of sophomores knowing those guys,
probably Larry and Steve.
Yeah.
They are a real laugh, I tell you what.
But you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of them.
You don't want to be on the back end of one of their pranks
because you'll be walking out of a locker after two months of summer you'll be pretty thin
i heard they once stole the puritans mascot with the dude still in the suit yeah they did and put
them on top of the library i was on the road there for you were not i was fully there for that right
i was the one who suggested we put the skewer like just up through the suit so he actually
couldn't get out of the suit.
That was my idea.
That is a sick gag, bro.
Larry actually fully laughed and said,
that's a really good idea, guy.
Fully sick.
That was the dopest moment of my life.
God, that's fully sick, bro.
Anyway, so when probably, presumably, Larry and Steve
filled up Principal Tardio's car with blue paint in the car park
and he opens it and all the paint comes out,
the janitor, the school janitor is standing next to him
in the car park on the street
with a mop and a bucket on wheels
full of hot soapy water.
I've never seen anyone mop tar seal before.
It's about 8.30, 9 o'clock
depending on when the school day starts.
What is he doing out there?
This is a guy who's so good at his job
that even on the last day of school,
everything is so clean.
The only place left is Principal Tardio's car to clean.
That's it.
And so do you think he knows,
because it's a yearly prank,
he knows that the car's going to be filled with blue paint
and he's standing by?
He's so ready, bro.
But he's ready enough to not tell him that.
Yeah, if he's such a good employee, you'd think he'd tell Principal Tardio. Because he enjoys a good gag. Just because he knows doesn't and he's standing by. He's so ready, bro. He's ready enough to not tell him that. Yeah, if he's such a good employee
you'd think he'd tell
Principal Tardio.
Because he enjoys a good gag
just because he knows
there's a man.
And you wouldn't want to
dob in Larry and Steve
because if you get on
the wrong side of Larry and Steve
they will ruin you, bro.
They will fuck you up.
They will eat your shit.
They will actually ruin you.
They really, yeah.
Fully sick.
Those guys are classic.
Honestly, if you're listening
Larry and Steve,
shout outs to you guys.
You're an inspiration.
Just some of the most classic
sort of pranks is i know
a little while ago during the steve buscemi mystery tour i theorized that steve buscemi's
character in grown-ups too is a time traveler who sustained his injuries that we see in the
second movie but are never fully explained
that those occurred because he had travelled back in time
and seen him fool around with his own girlfriend
and kick his own ass
for hooking up with his girlfriend
on a different timeline.
It's certainly one of your more spacey mystery tours.
Or so we thought, bro.
Because today, in the party scene,
everyone's an 80s garb, except in one shot,
and I think it's the fight scene between Adam Sandler and Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Yeah.
Stone Cold's in this movie, folks.
And everyone else is in 80s garb.
Like it's a big reveal.
Like someone listening to the podcast for this long wouldn't already know Stone Cold.
Oh yeah, by the way.
Well, last week just reminded me
how many superstars there are in this
that I've normalized.
You know?
It's just like, oh yeah,
there's Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Sorry, anyway, I disrupted your point.
Someone had to.
So during that shot when they're fighting,
there's two hands
and cast arms
up in the touchdown position
which is the same position
as Steve Bisch
in the background
big sort of surreal arms
almost
so you don't see his face
you see the arms
I think it's a nod
to the fact that
Tim you were right
which they figured out
while they were shooting
the film
which is interesting
in itself
which they figured out
when they were listening
to the podcast
and they've since
written into the script.
And somehow gotten into our media
that we're watching it on.
And so the arms
are the exact same injury he sustains.
I put it to you
that it's him from the past
while he was still injured.
The script writers and filmmakers have actually
put in hard evidence
of that conspiracy theory.
This isn't a family movie.
This is a time travel movie.
So all the family messages, of which there are many,
reference podcasts 1 through 46 if you want to hear about those,
that is all merely smoke and mirrors to hide the...
That's how brilliant this film was made, bro.
that sort of smoke and mirrors to hide the... That's how brilliant this film was made, bro.
It took two dudes to commit to watching Grown Ups 2
once a week for an entire year
for us to only just trip over what they did
on almost the final view.
If you want evidence that this thing's coming full circle,
is that you're like,
this is a subtle triumph of cinema.
It really does dovetail nicely against our coming down the mountain.
We're grateful.
We're happy.
I don't want to take it away from you.
I don't want to take away the notion that that's true.
You were so cocky at the start of this watch too, guy.
That's what I enjoyed.
I enjoyed that you went into the music.
Well, to be fair fair we both were a
little bit but you you started it man and you were like look at me i don't even this movie
just goes around me i don't even take it in anymore i can just sit there and watch it and
it's fine i didn't say i didn't say the last sentence i just say the leading and stuff i did
say i feel like i'm covered in like a non-stick surface and the movie just happens around me and I'm immune. What I didn't anticipate
was how long the movie is,
which is 101 minutes still.
Which is interesting
considering we've seen it
four dozen times.
I don't know.
Three dozen times.
I guess the thing is
it takes you on every watch a journey.
That's what I've always said.
Every watch a journey.
I'm going to get that printed out
and put in a shitload of fortune cookies.
Because every watch takes you on a unique journey through your emotions.
Do you know what I'm saying?
At the start of it, I was...
I'm going to say that I don't because I want to hear you explain this.
I was...
Yeah.
At the start of it, I was arrogant and I was like,
Oh, this is fine.
How many times can you let something get to you when you know it's coming back for more?
Sure. This is totally okay not okay but just like not i was numb i've said it before i was dead
and this was a numb viewing initially but then eventually i can't remember the specific moment
but it was part of the movie um i got really restless and sort of quite aggravated you started
playing with stuff i started playing with stuff in the room.
I started playing with stuff in the room.
I wanted to shout out, but I didn't.
We've done that a few times, eh?
Yeah, it was fine.
Just in the middle of the movie, one of us would just scream.
It's weird.
I think it's fair to bring up how arrogant I was at the start of the movie
for this new fortune cookie I'm launching, which is every watch a journey.
It's difficult to market a fortune cookie with only one message because, I mean, by definition, it sort of removes the mystery of the fortune cookie.
I've got an idea for your business.
We're still ironing out a few of the kinks there.
What if you only put a fortune in every second cookie?
Oh.
And then you either get that advice or no advice.
Now you're really playing with the game
because what would you do
if you opened up a fortune cookie with nothing inside it?
Dude, I would go so deep inside my mind
to try and find meaning into what...
It would be like a really zen comment.
You think that means you look down,
there's nothing in your fortune cookie,
then you look up and you're just floating in purgatory
Well, mentally, yeah, because you'd be going like
Does it mean there is no meaning to life?
Does it mean I shouldn't be looking to desserts for authority on how to live my life?
There's a lot of questions being asked
And then my mind goes to
Have you just tripped over a beautiful metaphor for grown-ups too,
which is an empty fortune cookie,
which we're trying to read the meaning of when there's no filling.
Or the final thought you'd probably have if you opened an empty fortune cookie
would be like, or did they just make a mistake at the factory?
Are you suggesting we've gone nuts? I'm suggesting someone's made a mistake at the factory? Are you suggesting we've gone nuts?
I'm suggesting someone's made a mistake at the factory.
And we shouldn't be talking about empty fortune cookies.
At what person?
At the fortune cookie.
Me.
At my new fortune cookie factory.
No.
Go deeper than that guy.
Are you talking about the people who made the movie?
Or us?
I'm talking about the people who made us. Is this a'm talking about I don't know Or the people who made us
Is this a slight on our parents
There's nothing to do with our parents
This is probably something to do with our parents
But this is nothing to do with our parents
Look man I'm just trying to
Just trying to shoot the breeze with my pants
No do you know what you're trying to do
You're trying
You're taking several steps back from the edge
Because you don't like what you see
You're not a fan
I'm a massive fan
take my hand and spit into the abyss guy montgomery i just had a look at it i said
little friends with a dessert business i didn't think it would come to this you're trying to wig
out you're trying to wig me out i'm doing it too it's happening time for a shining light here's one in the scene where you first
there's a slightly overweight blonde woman long hair and she's wearing a green dress
and she just over the shoulder of the lads uh you see her load hmm i'd say no less than four
dozen rolls of toilet paper into a grey panel van.
And then, do you reckon she gets in the driver's seat?
Do you think maybe she gets in the passenger seat?
That's what I'd do if I'd already loaded up all my toilet paper.
That's what I was expecting.
She went back to Kmart, man.
Do you know the thing with Kmart is they've just got so many of your essential needs in one convenient place
and all priced at something affordable.
Yeah, it's all there. It know something affordable yeah it's all there it's all there it's all there my shining light uh was we're at the party wiley the driving instructor steve buscemi steve buscemi is dressed as Flavor Flav and I've always
taken it for granted
that he
keeps sort of
throwing out
sort of Flavor Flav
references or
you know
lines which would allude
to the way
Flavor Flav speaks
what my showing light is
Wiley's
commitment to character
for an 80s costume party.
He is so method.
He did not break through the whole.
No one else is doing that.
Stone Cold's not talking like the Terminator.
Adam Sandler's not busting out Bruce Springsteen hits.
Wiley is Flavor Flav for the duration of that party.
I have to correct you.
Just on the end.
Because it's not for the whole party
because that laugh he gives as it cross dissolves into the final sequence.
Look, no.
That's not a Flavor Fade laugh.
Don't get that take away from Riley's commitment to character at the 80s party.
What that is is they were finishing the shoot and Dennis Dugan freaked out
and was like, oh, shit, Steve, we don't know how to end this one.
We're just going to need to pick up. It's just you laughing, okay! We don't know how to end this one. We're just going to need a pickup.
It's just you laughing, okay?
We'll just fucking crossfade or whatever.
And he's like,
oh, I've just made this really big decision
for my character Wiley
in which he doesn't break Flavor Flav character
the whole part.
He's like, we're probably not going to use it.
Just throw it in.
And he did it.
And then, and now, you know,
it's come back to bite him on the ass
and that is not fair
I like that
your Steve Buscemi
has really
like highlighted
what a great actor
Steve Buscemi is
it's cool man
I dig that
he's patting himself
on the back
through this entire film
he should be man
Boardwalk Empire
peace bro
Steve Buscemi
performance from
the heavens
I haven't actually
watched Boardwalk Empire
neither have I
I heard it's good
this is about ready
to jump onto
a little bus
Yeah it probably is
We painted it up ourselves
And on the side of the bus
it reads
I wonder what Paul McCartney would think if he heard us singing this.
Probably nothing good, eh?
Roll up for the mystery tour and roll up, it's been inspiration.
Roll up for the mystery tour.
The Steve Buscemi mystery tour is coming to take you away.
Coming to take you away. Coming to take you away.
Take you today.
Yeah, it is time for the Steve Buscemi
Whistry Tour.
Down Wisteria Lane.
Where we go to Wisteria Lane.
That's right.
And visit a couple desperate housewives
you may have seen on the silver screen before.
And guess who Eva Longoria's most recent love interest is.
You won't guess.
It's Terry Hatchet.
That's right.
They're both coming out of the closet and throwing off that macho, chasing, straight image, desperate housewives look that they had.
Now they're a couple of guys and they're loving it.
That's right.
And Steve Buscemi or Wiley moves in next door.
Here's how the theme song goes.
Come and knock on our door.
I don't know this theme song.
We've been waiting for you.
We've been waiting for you.
Where the kisses are his and hers and hers and three's company too.
It's three's company.
It's a reboot starring Steve Buscemi, Lois Lane from Lois and Clark.
And the ghost from that Paul Rudd movie
where Eva Longoria is a ghost.
What movie is that?
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Her and Paul Rudd are married and then she dies
and then he's trying to move on
and she keeps coming back as a ghost.
I hope that's real.
I've just made up a whole movie.
Anyway, so those are the roommates. It's Wiley from Grown Ups 2, I hope that's real I hope it's not anyway
so that's the
those are the roommates
it's Wiley from
Grown Ups 2
Lois Lane
and a ghost
who has lost
Paul Rudd
to someone who's
still living
how could CBS
not pick it up
is the more pertinent
question
some people will say
why
CBS will say
how not
so that question
is either
you know
you putting your
hand up for a role
at CBS or the
exact reason that you do not work and you heard bro yes i just got cast as steve buscemi
in that sitcom in three's company reboot 2015 that's incredible yeah leave that door closed
it's so hot in here it know It's so hot, right?
My back is sodden
It's like I've been driving in a car with leather seats for nine hours
The reason I shut all the doors is so we don't get heaps of outside noise
But you can...
No
No, no
If you're going to be a child about it
We'll sweat it out
Fine
Alright
So we're in the land of the three company reboot
Yeah And Wiley is hosting a drinks So we're in the land of the three company reboot. Yeah.
And Wiley is hosting drinks because he's trying to get rumpy-pumpy with Lois Lane.
But guess what?
He's got a 7 a.m. exam tomorrow morning.
He's doing a driving exam.
Jesus Christ.
Hold on.
So I'm playing Steve Buscemi, who's playing Wiley, playing Steve Buscemi.
No.
No, no, no.
How does this work?
It's not important.
What's important is that Wiley, on Wisteria Lane, hosting a drinks party to try and get it on with Lois Lane.
Eva Longoria is moaning about Paul Rudd in a corner somewhere.
But he's got a driving exam tomorrow morning at 7am.
Not one he has to take, one he has to issue
because he's a driving instructor.
Even in Wisteria Lane.
I don't know where that is in America.
It's got to be inland.
New Jersey.
I've never seen them at the beach.
NJ, bro.
Oh, but then they've got the Jersey Shore.
So I hear hear unless that's
all a conspiracy to snooki um anyway so he's got this driving test and he's he's trying to encourage
last lane to stick around and and she just wants to to have another have a port she's got a really
nice bottle of port and uh she's like oh come on wiley let's just drink
this bottle of port together and while he's like you know i'd love to but uh while he's like alma
fudd from new jersey uh i got a driving i'm hunting and christopher walken raised him from age eight
it was yeah yeah he's a stick anyway so but lois lane using her powers of persuasion talks him
around and they split this bottle of port.
And the next morning, and this is where Three's Company
kind of meets Desperate Housewives in terms of sort of dramatic plot
because Three's Company would never address this.
This is sort of like Flight with Denzel Washington.
Wiley gives a lesson.
He does the exam at 7 o'clock.
And the kid, and when you're doing the driver's exam,
you've got your own driver's wheel and an emergency brake
so that if someone starts fucking it up,
it's like, don't worry, kid, I got this.
Boom.
And the kid runs an intersection, runs a stop sign,
and there's a big 18 cab truck, big rig coming up.
cab truck. Big rig coming up.
And Steve
Buscemi reaches
across and slams
his hands, because there's not an accelerator on his side,
slams his hands on the kid's leg
into the accelerator and they just get
past the big freight train and onto the other side
of the intersection. But he rams
into a lamppost with
his arms down there holding the foot
on the accelerator.
Yes, he does.
He gets caught on either side of the steering wheel
and rams into it, his arms frozen in the touchdown position.
Absolutely, I'm with you.
His body left with nothing but maybe 40% or 20% feeling.
I cannot remember the exact number.
Medically accurate, good enough.
He has to run away from town
because he knows he's got too much alcohol in his bloodstream
to get away with it. That
is the Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour. What do you
say? I'm with you, buddy. I'm with you
110%.
I think
it's going to be a really good meaty role for you.
Me playing Steve Buscemi, playing Wiley,
playing Steve Buscemi on Three's Company
the reboot 2015.
On Wisteria Lane, crossover series.
Really looking forward to getting to know Lois Lane better,
to be honest.
You won't get to know Lois Lane.
Lois Lane's played by Terry Hatcher.
Yeah, and journalists are fun.
People to hang around.
It's the real alcoholics.
It's going to be a good time.
It's going to be a great time.
Where else do we need to visit?
What's next on our destination map?
Because I've got a feeling
Yeah I've got an idea
I have some semblance that there could be some judgement going on
It could be judgement day
That's what you were doing
You're a pound as well
I was knocking on the door
Who's that?
It's me!
It's Paddy!
Whoa
Who? It's Paddy! Whoa.
Who?
It's Paddy, let me in!
Hold the phone there, mate.
Now, exactly what are you here to do?
What do you want with us?
Come to the fucking party, bro!
Yeah, when?
Right now! Who are you again? Because the summer random wants to show off his dumb new cast. Patty Schwartz. Party time.
He's got 20 kilos of self-raising flour.
What's he cooking in there?
What's he building in there?
It's Patty Schwartz party time.
It's party time.
With Patty Schwartz.
Yeah, I mean, it took a while, but we got there.
We'll go with the real life one first.
I heard online, which means it's true.
It's not true.
Patty Schwartz and Miley Cyrus are making heaps of sex tapes.
25, 7, 365.
All the time.
Yeah, that's, you know what?
That's entirely up to them, you know?
Oh, yeah, definitely.
Do it.
Do it.
Absolutely do it.
Don't upload them to iCloud. Watch them delete them. Shoot them again. It, yeah, definitely. Do it. Do it. Absolutely do it. Don't upload them to iCloud.
Watch them delete them.
Shoot them again.
It's tricky, though.
If the information's out there,
the hackers are crazy.
They'll hack anything.
It's not like someone's grandpa.
It's crazy.
It's hackers.
They're not magic, bro.
They're not magicians.
You know?
They're fine.
Yeah. Good luck to them um the sex tapes i have no
desire to watch i just like that he's making them i like that they exist and i like it's an activity
that he's what if getting involved he was really into role play and one of his sex tapes was an
exact shot for shot remake of the scene at the quarry elaborate elaborate but they have to act out every
single character and then so they do it with a green screen or whatever so that they populate
the entire landscape of the shot there's like 85 people in that so yeah i know it's a detailed sex
tape okay some real high production values so they have like locked off cameras and they do
that thing where you can be in the shop with yourself? I don't know.
They've done it real nice.
So it looks like they're all separate people.
Even though their bodies and faces are all the same.
It's like the way they're moving around and interacting with each other.
It looks like there's a bunch of people there.
You have to look kind of close to know.
Would you shoot the whole video at once before you have sex?
Because that shop would take days.
It's a pretty expensive sex tape.
Sting ain't got nothing on these two.
To be honest
I guess the disappointing
thing for me when I
watched it was they
didn't even eventually
have sex
it was just exactly
what I've described
a shot for shot remake
of the scene at the
quarry in Grown Ups 2
well
and it's only
Patty Schwartz
they did all the lines
I mean it was
it's bang on
well hold on
if it's got this
following line
then we've got to
hit it on the hands
and if not
then it doesn't
does it include the cool zoom where braden higgins says summertime with his thumbs up glasses on and
the lilo there's a video out there on the internet of patty schwartz doing that exact thing well
guess what bro we got a hit on our hands we didn't produce it we're not going to see any of the
profits it doesn't matter i'm excited for whoever will Which is Patty Schwartz
Obviously
Yeah
Anyway
He made that sex tape
My Patty Schwartz party time
Is
I had a movie one too
Oh you go
Mine is movie two
It was his hair
I don't think we've paid
Enough attention to it
It's a good classic
Frat boy hairdo
Because you're seeing
A lot of David Spade
And seeing a lot of
Brayden
And they've both got Bl blonde straggly hair.
Patty Schwartz has blonde hair too,
but it's not straggly.
It's delicious.
It's a brownie blonde.
Dusty.
It's a dusty.
What's your one?
It's at the party.
There's one shot where he's tugging on his shorts heaps.
Just tugging on his shorts.
So either he's he was
nervous as an actor and didn't know what to do with his hands which is a real problem you face
if there's a camera on you poor ricky bobby does a very funny joke about it in talladega nights oh
yeah anyway it's either that or it's a decision he made as the character he was playing being
awkward being petty shorts not being awkward He had to go pee. Oh.
But he can't let anyone know that because you're in the middle of
antagonising the entire town.
Fantastic actor playing a role where he
has to do the potty dance or real life
awkward Aquaman son of a governor.
You decide, internet.
I feel like we should throw
a text number out.
399. Text 399.
We don't know where that will go
where does
399's not even
enough digits
it might just bounce
it'll probably come back
to you
hopefully costing you
nothing
we could put a poll
on Facebook
I'm definitely not
going to do that
and I know you're
not going to do it
so
I'm always making
polls on Facebook
you are not
yeah
nah man
all the time
you're a fucking liar
what we are doing though
I'm going to mention it again we're trying to get money off people we're trying to perform a shakedown You are not. Yeah. Nah, man. All the time. You're a fucking liar. What we are doing, though,
I'm going to mention it again.
We're trying to get money off people.
We're trying to perform a shakedown.
Yeah.
An online shakedown.
Guys, we want to do the 52nd episode in LA.
We've booked CineFamily.
Yeah.
It's going to happen on February 17th.
Well, I mean,
either CineFamily is going to have us
and no one
or us and a lot of people
or CineFamily is just going to be empty
on the 17th of... We're just going to be left with a bill
what are you
oh you're alluding to the fact
that we might not come to LA
if they don't give us money
that's what I was trying to do
and we've also got another event after it
yeah
at the next night
special event
at UCB
at UCB sunset
because UCB are good people
and Cinefamily are good people
everyone seems to be good people
they're so kind to us
and the
we just
but we need it and I'll tell you what we approached a couple of good people. Everyone seems to be good people. And we just... But we need to...
And I'll tell you what,
we approached a couple of airlines, folks.
They said no.
Yeah.
I think...
And I was so sure that we'd get flights
and then I think...
I said this to you.
I was overconfident.
I didn't realize that airlines don't value advertising
on grown-ups too focused podcasts.
I think I text you words to that effect
when you said, I can't believe they weren't interested.
And I said, yeah, it's a really fucked up idea.
Yeah, I think I'd lost perspective.
We're both in too deep, mate.
We've got this Kickstarter.
You can link to it through the Facebook page.
You guys still believe us though, right?
You know we're doing the right thing here, right?
We just need a few dollars, man.
Get back on our feet.
That's all we're asking for, man.
You know us.
We're friends.
We're not crazy.
We went to grade school together.
It's me.
It's Steve.
Anyway, the other thing is that we recently did a crossover podcast
with some guys at Read It and Weep,
in which we discussed, it's called Read It and Weep. grown-ups too they're really fun guys so you can find that
somewhere as well and that's it i want to go for a walk it's stinking hot is it hot well walk to the
to water i don't want to go for a walk because it's stinking hot it's not oh yeah that's what
you're saying yeah yeah i feel like even a walk in the sunshine would be less hot than this living room right now
yeah
it's disgusting
it's like we've locked ourselves
in a greenhouse
yeah we're on a real anthill here
and there's a five year old outside
with a brand spanking new magnifying glass
there must be such a weird concept
if you're listening in America
because it's winter there
it's like
winter
it's like winter man
it's like
the opposite of summer man
but we don't get snow here.
There's snow over there.
It's real cold, man.
Hey, and shout out to all my peeps in Nova Scotia while I'm here too.
You guys are dope.
Hey, big ups to Nova Scotia.
Big ups to the United Arab Emirates.
With someone?
Like there is a friend group because I think there's only one collection of people.
But it's reasonable numbers.
Someone's downloading in Dubai.
You're our sixth most downloaded country,
or fifth most downloaded country.
And we've got a lot of countries on that list of that track.
Thank you very much, United Arab Emirates.
But who the fuck are you guys?
What's your story?
Can you please get in touch if you're from UA?
That was episode 47.
We are at Basecamp.
Repeat, we are at Basecamp here on the Worst Idea of All Time.
Join us next week when we review Grown Ups 2.