The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Fourteen - Matrix

Episode Date: October 16, 2018

Guy and Tim are back at it again and there's no guest to hide behind, no special format to break up the monotony, just a straight, back-to-basics watch of the movie. The vibe is a little grim however Guy endevours to invent new ways to absorb the movie to increase enjoyment and the gents ponder a few future episode ideas. A discussion of A-class drugs, the nature of intellectual orientation and The Simpsons features. As per usual, Sandler is a terrible man, Becky is great and don't watch the movie. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to episode 14 of the worst idea of all time. My name is Tim Batt. My name is Guy Montgomery. We just watched Grown Ups 2 for the 14th time. Did you? Did you do that today? Is that what you did with your wife? Are you doing the same thing we're doing? You should have told us. If you were, we would tell you to stop immediately. Stop and desist. There's no point in both of us doing it. Anyway, so the premise, obviously, we watch Grown Ups 2 in review every week for 52 weeks. This is the 14th week. It's on the back end of the Comedy Festival, which has just been in gone.

And congratulations, Guy Montgomery just named the 2014 Billy 2 winner. Thank you. That's sensational. Thank you. Thank you very much, Tim. And what I like about the podcast that we're doing is that many life events will happen,

some good, some bad, but the one constant is that once a week you and I will sit down and watch this terrible, terrible film. that's right and uh nothing can send you crashing back to earth faster than a grown-ups two screening without a guest i think i i really felt the absence of anyone else in the room this week it was just you and i again doing it old school as it should be because this shouldn't be easy if it's easy then there's no point in doing it. We were talking to some documentary filmmakers yesterday who wanted to interview us about the podcast and they asked

why, this is a bunch of questions, their final one was why are you doing this? And it was a really, it was a stumper. It was a real stumper, it was a great question I mean they were making a pretty groundbreaking piece of documentary I'd say and I think it's coming out on FX.

I don't know if that's true. I'm not sure if that's true at all. Anyway, Tim, how are you, mate? Pretty gutted, pretty gutted. I got about halfway through the movie, and Guy, you'll have noticed this, person listening listening you won't because you weren't here but i just started laughing hysterically and yeah yeah when it dawned on me that i have to watch the movie another 38 times after this one that's right we had a few moments throughout the film today that was that was for me a very a very enjoyable moment just to see the mania in your eyes as you realized that because you said because we were both just sort of slumped in the couch just staring at the screen blankly and you said we've got to watch this movie so many times.

And about 40 seconds of hysteria followed. And it was sort of, it was nice. I feel like that was the moment, of all the podcasts we've done so far, that was the moment you realized the sheer scope. The enormity. Of the project, or as you aptly use as an analogy before, the mountain ahead of us.

Yeah. This mountain that we've got to scale. I also, I tried a trick today, you would have noticed, Tim, around about the yoga scene where john lovitz comes in and pretends to be a yoga instructor i was trying to laugh at all of the jokes so i was trying to find every single moment that the directors and the writers and the actors thought there'd be a laugh point i was trying to laugh at that moment and i did like three minutes and I think in doing that it was a very effective experiment because what I found is that one of the main faults

with this movie is they're asking too much from the audience in terms of laughter there's no light and shade what they're doing is they're just firing out like a joke every five or ten seconds in the hopes you'll laugh the whole way through but I believe in Italian renaissance art that's known as fermato.

Truly? I think that's more the blending of light and shade, and I also think I've mispronounced it. That sounds more feasible. At any rate, no, you're totally right, man. They put a gag in every 15 to 30 seconds, especially they really front load the start of the movie with it. And you couldn't

laugh for all of that i mean but even if it was good enough it would be impossible to laugh yeah you've got to allow that much your audience some breathing room some chill out space in between gags and hey why not take a punt on character development and yeah laughter here's another story here's well here's another thing. Because I don't think we're eligible to complain about the lack of plot anymore because we watched the trailer. And between the movie and the podcast, while Tim was getting set up, I loaded up my phone and we watched the trailer for Grown Ups 2.

Just now, just before. Literally, however long this podcast has been going, that's how long ago it was we watched it and they don't even suggest a hint essence of plot or character development in the movie it is essentially the trailer is just a hodgepodge of the sort of grandest physical skits yeah or throwaway lines half of which they don't even use in the final cut of the film yeah it's just like look this is we've made this heap of shit where this is the trailer this is what the heap of shit's gonna look like they did if you want to watch it that's up to you there was a clear sign posting of what the movie was and we probably should have watched the trailer before we started to do this concept in fairness in fairness

to the film they also had like the a joke from grown-ups in the trailer. It was like, Last summer, four friends shared an unforgettable weekend. And then they showed a joke from grown-ups one, and it was a funny joke. I think it was probably funnier than any of the jokes in grown-ups two. One of the kids... It's all about getting wasted. One of the older guys says, I want to get wasted,

and one of the kids is overheard and says, What's wasted? And Adam Sandler, quick on his feet, goes, That's when you have a hankering for ice cream. And so all of a sudden the kids are going, I want to get wasted. And then Adam Sandler's daughter, who's a phenomenal actress, goes,

I want to get chocolate wasted. And I thought that was pretty, I might be out of touch with what's funny and what's not at the moment. This movie will do that. You can't see north or south anymore. You don't know which way is up. It really spins you around.

It's like being in the desert, in the Antarctic desert in the summer. So it's always light. So you don't really get any direction from that. And you don't have a compass. There's no compass on you. And you're just in the middle of it. And you're just like, what way am I facing? Guy, how are you feeling?

Just about everything. How am I feeling? Well, there is always solace in the actual recording element of the podcast because this is, this means that this is the longest, like it's from now until next time, this is the longest amount of time there can be in between screens of grown-ups too. I actually watched an episode of The Simpsons this morning, the one with the dishwasher detergent where Homer's on the face of that Japanese.

Fishbowl. Fishbowl, yeah. And in it, at the start of it, because that's the same episode where Marge Simpson becomes the listen lady at the church because Reverend Lovejoy's a really... Listen lady. Yeah, yeah.

I'm the hello, the listen lady. Listen lady in my SysLac, yeah. I don't think I want to continue living or something. Anyway. Yeah, that's right. And in the episode, at the start of it, they all go to church and none of them want to go to church except Marge

and everyone in Springfield's sleeping in the church service. And they get home. And Homer and Bart and Lisa all run inside and take their church clothes off. And Marge is like, no, why are you so happy? You shouldn't be late. And they're like, because this is the longest in between going to church. Walking out of church, this is the longest it will be until we have to go to church again. And that is how I feel coming out of Grown Ups 2.

It's like the Simpsons going to church. Right. This is the longest time before you have to get your stuffy suit back on and your dress shoes that you hate wearing and your tie that's ill-fitting. So in saying that, this moment makes me happy, that must be a pretty damning sort of statement on where my general attitude towards the movie and the podcast is. Yeah.

But that's the mountain this is just this is like a little this is like a you know this is like dessert after you ate all of your broccoli when you're seven yeah this is like okay the broccoli experience is terrible but i have to say even this week like not even the promise of a podcast record with your good self could really pull me up. I was still pretty gutted. Tim, you said, should we get coffee before we do the podcast? And I was like, yeah, we can get coffee, and then thought about it for two seconds and said,

no, can we just get this thing over with? And then Tim said, yeah. Let's get it done. And here we all are. Love doing the podcast. But you've got to understand, folks, that this movie will drain every ounce of your will to live like we're happy guys me and guy we're happy guys

we're just rocking along through life leading really fabulous lives you know fabulous did a um did a gig last night at the classic didn't know i was on did you got a phone call at eight o'clock from lauren going hey you're emceeing how was the you're emceeing yeah yeah and i did not know so i called up a cab rocked on how was the gig yeah it was all right very quiet crowd but very respectful you know like they weren't big laughers but they were did you do did you do material or were you just making it up oh yeah i i uh mostly material a little bit of crowd work yeah a little bit of crowd work and did anyone kill um uh it was a hard crowd man it was a hard crowd, man. It was a hard crowd.

I thought... Probably all laughed out from the festival. Who closed out the first half? Oh. No, I can't remember. Someone killed pretty well. Good for them. Kate Hun was on, who won the...

Oh! She got second place in the Raw finals. I've got to say, do a shout-out to someone. Okay. David Koryos made me promise. We've got two place in the Raw finals I've got to say Do a shout out to someone David Kourios made me promise We've got two fans of the And then we'll move back into the normal featured A shout out to Nicole Winkleman and

Ben Westening They're my mates and have been massive fans Of you and guys since you live So hey Hey Nicole and Ben. Hope you're well. Thanks for listening. How lovely.

I can't believe you're listening. So, I was asking you about your mood. Oh, yeah. Okay, so bad. So, anyway, let's just press forward. Haven't thought of a top three for today. Should we think of one now on the fly? Do you want to think of one or should I think of one?

You can think of one. Okay, we're going to do it right now. I'm going to get you on the fly do you want to think of one or should i think of one you can think of one okay we're gonna do it right now okay get you on the fly top three memorable like extras okay uh which is something that i think you can only pull off if you've seen a movie 14 times i don't know if he's an extra because he's got a speaking role i'd say featured extra maybe uh yeah no that's what i mean patrick schwarzenegger oh yeah it's good to watch him it's Arnold Schwarzenegger's son Tim Fitzhine broached this topic last week but especially in the

final fight scene because like this is Arnie's son right he should always if he's going to agree to do a movie you'd always think he'd be like

he'd always stipulate that he has to win his fight scene but he gets knocked the fuck out by Brayden Higgins and that's really funny with a great move

and I've said this many times as we've watched but Brayden What does he do first? I think he kicks him first And then he does a forward roll Into a jumping dive punch

It's one of the better fight scenes in the movie I'll pick one And then you pick number one It's gotta be They disrespected our freedoms Oh Blow Dryer Boy Blow Dryer Boy Who's in the fight scene

What's up Blow Dryer Boy This is one of the frat boys Who is in the movie Twice That like highly visible Once in the car When they encounter I don't know his real name

But McKenzie Boomer We're gonna stop using the names Chris Rock's son No one's seen the movie Chris Rock's son when they encounter, I don't know his real name, but McKenzie Boomer. We're going to stop using the names. Chris Rock's son. No one's seen the movie. Chris Rock's son is taking a driving test and pulling up next to them at the lights is the freight boys.

A couple of college boys. I think this has even been your shining light once. Yeah, it has. And back left, there's a blonde guy with glasses on. And he says, He disrespected Alfredo. He disrespected theo he disrespected the crap out of it

it's the dumbest voice yeah in the whole film and then he's also in the fight scene and he gets taken down by guys I would say

favourite character maybe the gym teacher yeah he's probably not my favourite my favourite my one is

Taron Killam from Saturday Night Live he's one of the guys who cleans the car when they go into the car wash the men's car wash which one is he he's the one who's he's on the windshield and he's one of the guys who cleans the car when they go into the car wash the men's car wash which one is he?

he's the one who's like he's on the windshield and he's bird shit on the windshield and he looks at Kevin James and he mouths the words bird shit sexually and then he starts licking the bird shit

yeah and I don't know if I actually like that or not I'm a bit confused it's actually brilliantly funny but um I mean it was a weird top three I was actually really struggling

to come up with any of the extras or just any moments I enjoyed. Overall, with the extras, I think one thing we both noticed again tonight in the fight scene, the big Graham finale fight scene, they obviously shot it in a linear fashion chronologically because by the end of it, if you're watching the extras during Taylor Lautner and Adam Sandler's fight, they are so tired.

They're just like swinging with half a meter gap between the fist in the face it's hilarious there's two there's like one very particular shot where there's uh yeah two dudes engaged in a fist fight and they're standing so far apart like their fists wouldn't even touch the other guy's face just swinging just swinging and it looks shockingly bad if you pay any attention to it um doesn't hold up you know you hold it to the light and it disintegrates in your hand that's what a lot of this movie is but i'll tell you what a couple of things we noticed today any attention to it doesn't hold up you know you hold it to the light and it disintegrates in your hand that's what a lot

of this movie is but I'll tell you what a couple of things we noticed today for the first time which is amazing after you've seen a movie as many times

as us I'm ready what are they I don't remember Peter Dante holding hands with Shaq yeah

where Higgins he's in the tyre and he pukes never seen this before but when the shot goes back and it's got the two cops in the

background peter dante has obviously grabbed hold of shaq's hand and shaq just like shakes his hand off yeah it's quite a funny little it's funny and then we we speculated that they're trying to sneak in jokes so there's obviously like a standard of joke which is too high they think for the film because it'll make the rest of the jokes look bad. And so this is one that just sort of flew under the radar because the other thing that I thought today was, you know the gym teacher who we obviously love? Yeah.

He's got his great line, who wants to watch me climb a rope? Yeah. And he jumps on a rope. It's probably one of the funniest parts of the movie. Wait, no, do it. Back from the mic a little bit and do it properly. Who wants to watch me climb a rope?

That's very good um very good and he he jumps up the rope and it's like funny easily the funniest one in the movie and then they undercut it so it's like the the the laugh crescendo the laugh point in that in that joke is too high that if they continue on with the rest of the movie and do the hard cut to k-mart or whatever that they want to um that it would be it would make the rest of the jokes look awful. So instead they put a terrible tag on it where Bump D, Tim Meadows' son, says, yo, you've got to put those Easter eggs back in the basket

talking about his balls. So what you've interpreted is that they know that the line the gym teacher delivers is funny and then they've gone, fuck, it's too funny for the rest of the film, so they have to take the edge off the joke. I've got a few theories about stuff like this where there's just a moment that juts out of the movie, and in the final edit they've watched it back and they've said,

okay, we've got to get some footage to put into this bit and this bit. Because the other one was when Adam Sandler's yelling at his daughter after the dance recital for no apparent reason, he says, but out, this is grown-up stock to his daughter. And it's like, that's really harrowing. And so they would have watched it back. She's just shouting in the little girl's face. That's right, for no reason.

She's just being lovely. And so they looked back at it in the final edit and they said, we've got to mellow. This is dark. This is dark. We've got to mellow this yell. Yeah. Because Adam Sandler has got to have a certain amount of yelling lines in the movie.

So we're going to mellow this yell, and they do a cutaway shot of the girl just poking her tongue out, which kind of makes it cute, but also even more depressing that she's just had to develop this coping mechanism for Adam Sandler as a father who is just yelling at her all the time. He treats everyone terribly in this film. I mean, have you got any thoughts? Well, I mean, let's stay on the Adam Sandler vibe.

We've mentioned this in passing in episodes gone by, but I don't think it's had enough attention. Adam Sandler attempts to drag his child at one point in the movie because he can't be bothered potting her to bed properly. He reaches over the bedside table and grabs what appears to be like a sleepy time medicine something and um she said she says quite rightly and i think this is another case of becky unfortunately having to grow up ahead of her years she goes no daddy like that that's not okay you're trying to pour medicine down my throat

i'm not sick no daddy and he says you don't want just one slug? I thought you liked this stuff. Fuck you, Adam Sandler. You're a bad man. You're a bad man trying to drug your kids. You're yelling in children's faces. I'm nervous that we're going to start going around in circles soon because that lends itself to the conversation around how everyone in the town essentially is bad

and they're all bullying each other constantly. Except Higgins. Higgins, yeah. He's all right. Higgins is all right. What was your shining light today? Did you have one? My shining light today?

Actually, I mean, it was only for two minutes, but the experiment, this has less to do with the movie and more to do with my reading of it today. I do call it a reading now. It's no longer a watching. I think this has gone beyond just watching something. And my reading of the movie today, when I made the when i made this

sort of the critical thinking and academic decision to try and seek out the laugh points and i did start laughing i found one laugh since i mean the jokes are coming so thick and fast one laugh led on to the other laugh and for a while it was actually working in a sense i was genuinely laughing at the ludicrousness of the joke rate of the movie and in that moment i was enjoying the movie not for the movie that was made but for the movie that they thought they could make and spectacularly failed to make and so that wasn't actually in the movie but today that was my shining light you took the blue pill to to borrow a matrix to mix to mix movie metaphors because that's like you've been given the choice it's like you can see through the matrix which is what we've been doing i think kind of in weeks gone by

but this time you're like no i'm going to voluntarily go into the matrix that's right view it as it was intended to have this is how that's right that is how i was trying to watch this as a fan of the movie would watch it and um i mean it's it's you look like you were having a bloody ball and if that's if you know and if you i don't know like it was enjoyable i i could in that moment i could imagine someone enjoying the movie i'm going to try and do that next week um it's not sustainable like there's only like it's like salvia or some sort of drug which only is very intense but it only lasts for like 10 seconds what's that stuff you need in daytura daytura

except daytura lasts for a while it just doesn't end well never ends well yeah there were some kids who did daytura at my school really how'd they turn out uh i don't know what they're up to now but i'm pretty sure they got lost in a forest and one of them lost some toes that sounds right it sounds about right datura often leads to people winding up in places and they don't know how they got there and and almost invariably naked interesting like so many times did you get like did you get those propaganda stories about not why i don't know if it's propaganda i haven't actually tried datura but about like't do dayture a guy i know did a guy my cousin michael knows did dayture and he thought he was an orange and he peeled himself with the with the fruit peeler that actually that specific one sounds familiar but i'm not sure if i heard it attributed

to dayture dayture didn't really feature at all in my consciousness till later heard lots of bad stuff about p and um heroin um but not where the positive p and heroin stories for where are they coming this is the thing people don't realize about p tons of successful people do p on this on the semi-reg i'm not going to get involved with it though myself i've never done p and I don't think I want to start. That was as close to an ad or recommendation for pee as I've ever heard. It's not good. Don't do it, obviously. Here's my shining light from Grown Ups 2 today.

There's a line near the end of the film, and maybe that's just why I liked it because we're closing in. Selma Hayek says, Do you want to put Becky to bed? She's tired. Adam Sandler says, Blah, blah, blah. hayek says do you want to put becky to bed she's tired edam sandler says blah blah blah no i don't want to i'm just trying to enjoy some delicious punch here you go she says you wouldn't want to drink too much punch around all these children he says i think i'd be fine and my shining light is selma hayek says actually no you wouldn't

because there's just something something she nails the delivery of it it's very honest and truthful and lovely and funny and it says a lot about her as a person and that she's willing to put up with sandler's shit and take it kind of with good humor and good graces yeah and actually what something we did talk about briefly during the movie was um the different marriages chris rock's marriage is fucking great in this movie it is a healthy marriage they have a diaper date i mean they're running on a they love each other they're running on a great schedule with the kids i feel like you and me we're like chris rock and may rudolph if we were picking a couple from this film which i'd like to i'd like to think so hey tim singers we're about to wind down i just thought we might um

quickly discuss some of the ideas we have for upcoming podcasts because i think some of them are really great so the one the one we we mentioned in passing with james acaster is we're gonna do uh we decided we're gonna write a radio play um a play between the gym teacher character and the sort of hippie yoga teacher character uh not the yoga teacher the high school no but he's sorry he's carrying he's a high school teacher but he's carrying a yoga mat in the film sorry my bad he's the one who goes all right little bro it's time to find your nest man so we're going to write a piece of fan fiction based around them having a conversation in the staff room that will be a whole episode so that will be a 20 to 25 minute radio play between two characters we will watch the film before we perform the play maybe

even we'll dedicate the first five minutes of the podcast to just a quick debrief on how we felt before we launch into it. Well that's a great idea. Some others that we've got coming up. We've got a director's commentary. Yeah we'll probably do that around episode 26 like at the halfway point. So we want to do it for something big. Absolutely.

Do you reckon that'll count as a viewing? Yeah that'll count as a viewing. So we'll do a full director's commentary for the film that you can download as an audio file, and if you ever wanted to watch the movie, just hold out till that one. That's absolutely right. I've also got a very good friend named Gus

who has watched Grown Ups 2, no, Grown Ups, sorry, Grown Ups 1, voluntarily over 10 times. He thinks it's one of the funniest films ever made. And so what i've offered to gus and what we will do probably in a few episodes time is gus grown-ups biggest fan in the world is going to join us for his first viewing of grown-ups 2 and a debrief afterwards i mean i think he's going to be a real sort of beacon of light of positivity it's kind of weird if he's such a big

fan of grown-ups 1 and he never got around to seeing grown-ups 2 well he's such a big fan of Grown Ups 1 and he never got around to seeing Grown Ups 2. Well, he's also watched Step Up 4. I think, is there a Step Up 4? There's Step Up 3D. The two movies he's watched the most in his life are Grown Ups and Step Up 4. I don't know if I want to meet this guy. He's actually a really good guy. Have we got any others?

I mean, those were the big three that I was thinking of which I sort of wanted to let people know something to look forward to. Maybe we should do a day tour episode. Yeah. Watch it naked in the forest. Yeah, man. See what happens.

I mean, anything's possible, guys, all right? The sky's the limit. Reach for the stars and achieve your goals. We'd love to hear your suggestions as well, and we love getting feedback from you motherfuckers. That's right. We will endeavour to post, now that the Comedy Festival's over,

we'll probably be able to be a little more interactive on the Facebook page. We'll endeavour to post, now that the comedy festival's over, we'll probably be able to be a little more interactive on the Facebook page. We'll endeavor to post the drinking game rules at some point this week. Sorry. Have we got the piece of paper? Yeah, I think it's in my room. It's meters away from me. Okay, we're going to pull it off.

It's going to be a good week, guys. Welcome back. It's great to have you back. It's great to have you back. It's been a pleasure watching. We'll get Tanya on. Yeah, we've got to get Tanya on. That'll be another thing. I mean, got to get Tanya on that's another

that'll be another thing that's I mean lots to look forward to on the landscape see this is this is for the listeners but this is also for us Tim this is for us to look forward

to something Tanya is the extra who gets hit in the back of the head with an ice cream scoop by Colin Quinn we got in touch with her on Twitter

she's going to be on our podcast at some point so there's there's a bit to look forward to there guys thank you so much for listening. Have a fantastic week. Don't watch the movie.

I've been Guy Montgomery. Don't watch the movie. I've been Tim Bette. See you later. Lots of love.