The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode One - Zacole Pasta
Episode Date: May 4, 2016Guy and Tim are back in front of the screen. A screen that will be playing WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS, the Zac Effron 2015 DJ movie once a week, every week, for the next year. It's an exciting time. A brand ...new shiny and altogether shorter adventure awaits our heroes. With no Sandler or Sex gals to hold the boys back are we in for a free and easy ride? Only one way to find out. Welcome to Season Three. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Tim and Guy, we are your friends, we're born to come back again, worst idea of all time.
Yes, Tom.
Gee whiz.
How about that?
That was a hell of, that was really coming through my cans, Tim.
I quite like that, I like that a lot.
Ashton Brown, thank you so much.
Thank you, Ashton Brown. Guy, we're back. We're back, we. I quite like that. I like that a lot. Ashton Brown, thank you so much. Thank you, Ashton Brown.
Guy, we're back.
We're back.
We're back in the studio.
It's another sunny day
here in Auckland city town
and we've just watched
for the first time on record
We Are Your Friends.
I'm jazzed.
Same, dude.
I'm fucking pumped up
for this year. This is going to be a sweet 52 watches. Same, dude. I'm fucking pumped up for this year.
This is going to be a sweet 52 watches.
It is plum.
The duration, just right.
It's got a banging soundtrack.
It's got some actual story.
People are acting in this movie.
It's fucking dope.
Yeah?
Yes.
It's efficient.
It's a model of efficient storytelling.
There's some drag and some bits.
Hey, Tim.
It's not flawless.
Yo.
How are you in general?
Oh, I'm all right.
How are you?
You seem more excited by watching We Are Your Friends
than you do by your own life.
Dude, I'm just like, I've been itching to get back to the potty,
to be honest, itching to get back into here
because lots of things seem to have gotten in the way of that happening recently.
We actually arranged to watch this movie
for the first time a few weeks ago
in Melbourne
when we were at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival
and we booked a time and everything
and I came around to your Airbnb
and then I was just like,
I can't fucking do it, man.
I can't do it
because I just couldn't bring myself to um yeah
that was quite amazing we sort of looked at the looked at the film square in the eyes and shied
away we were just like no not today today's not the day but today was the day it still is the day
and i'm so glad that it was if this movie has taught me anything it's to seize the day i wouldn't
say to to um love every day day, but it does leave you.
There's a take-home message, isn't there?
And it's pretty heavy-handed.
There's a real Carpe Diem vibe to it.
I was actually trying to think, because there's some actual shit that happens,
or there's one thing that happens in the movie.
Maybe we should leave spoilers for maybe the first five,
and if people want to watch it, they can.
No, no.
This is the beauty of podcasts. You can say, hey, if you really want to watch the movie before we talk about it
yeah that's like uh would i mean would you say watch the movie hey so this is crazy because this
is this is um i mean our first two movies were grown-ups too and sex in the city too
the first two movies we created only inps 2 and Sex and the City 2. The first two movies we created.
Only in the darkest hours would we suggest to people that they watch those fine pieces of cinema that we made.
But this one, I'm like, well, do you no harm.
Watch it, don't watch it.
It doesn't make a difference.
It's fine.
This one's not poison.
It's like water with a bit of lime cordial in it.
It's like.
It won't hurt you, but some people will be like, oh, it's a bit off.
It's like when you've had a Powerade and then you fill up the Powerade bottle with water.
Yes.
And then you're like, oh, this doesn't taste like water.
And it doesn't really taste like Powerade.
Yeah, it's not great.
But I know it's hydrating me.
Yeah, yeah. And it's fine. like Powerade. Yeah, it's not great. But I know it's hydrating me. Yeah, yeah, and it's fine.
It's fine.
Yeah, it's this.
So I think the first thing to do for those, this way we cover,
it's a coverall for those who have and haven't watched the movie.
I think just as a listening experience,
it's probably more fun to not see the movie
and then sort of assemble a movie in your mind.
Yeah, people often talk about how warped the vision of the movie is
by the time they've gotten through all the episodes.
There's no reason for you to see the movie.
Put it that way.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's a movie.
These guys, they live in the valley in LA.
These four guys, they've even come.
There's like a whole crew complete with a friend who's named
after an animal who's kind of the goofy off-sider
Squirrel
A la Turtle in Entourage
True, nice
Yeah, there is always that guy, eh?
Well, in those two things
Yeah
It's two out of two
Out of that sample size, 100%
That's right
That's the thing with statistics
You just have to get the right sample size
And pretty much they're going to ride Zac Efron's burgeoning DJ career
all the way to the top, baby.
And that's the movie.
That's literally the meat and potatoes.
That's all there is to it.
They're not contributing to society in any way.
And actually in some parts they do quite the opposite,
where they have to take a real office job in real estate,
and they do bad things.
Yeah, they're baddies then.
It's legal, but it's immoral,
like all things in the banking sector are.
That's right.
I would like to say the movie comes in super, super,
super hot at the top, and the boys are real pumped
because they're going gonna go and flyer
uh to college to promote a gig they're putting on on a thursday yeah and i was like coming off
the back of being in melbourne where you have to fly like you have to promote your own show for
people to come because it's a very big comedy festival uh and you have to fly to do that the
way they sold flyering i don't know who was the researcher on that,
but it was grossly inaccurate.
You just got to put some French EDM behind it
and everything becomes,
like I reckon I could vacuum the house
and film myself doing it
and if I had one of those slow motion cameras,
like a really nice $4,000 red
that records everything
at like a billion frames per second
and then chuck like some Phoenix under it
or something, it'd be like, it'd be dope.
Some Daft Punk to me just
vacuuming crazy shots from like
the carpet's perspective looking up
at me and then me looking down at the carpet.
You're describing a click hole video.
Do you know the guys from Phoenix and Daft Punk all lived
together in a house before they became successful
respectively as facts in Daft Punk? They were all in a single band
together. Called a single band together called a single band
the movie is quite
fortunate in that
it does have like
the
you know in
grown ups too
when halfway through
the movie
the DOP was just like
and now a music video
they have that
as an out
at all times
but it's not
sort of super jarring
and out of place
it's like
whenever the movie's
dragging or they're like
we've got some pretty
garbage storytelling going on here.
It's just like cue music video.
Yeah.
Whabam.
And then there are other parts which are like Wikipedia
informational YouTube videos condensed into.
They've grabbed that motif, which I've seen actually pop up
in a couple movies the last few years of like riffing
on a high school sex ed video style of thing where it's like
outdated graphics and it's very in.
It's very retro cool.
And they give that a bash to run you through the gamut
of the spectral EDM genres.
Spectral.
What was 60 beats per minute?
They're like reggae.
Reggae is dope, but it's slow.
It's 60 beats per minute. Dubstep isgae Reggae is dope But it's slow It's 60 beats per minute
Dubstep
Is 140
But it's actually halved
So it's 70 beats per minute
And then you got
House
No there was something
Before house
No it was house
110 to 130
They really
Shat on Electro though
Electro wasn't even in there
And then they're like
Hardcore
And Zac Efron's like
But I don't know
How to dance to that
But he's also kind of
He's DJing Making a joke At the god damn Juggalos yeah that's who i saw in that video that they popped i read a
really interesting fuck have you seen that that juggalo doco nah i haven't seen it but i read a
real interesting essay about uh juggalos in between in between turns uh in between my time
spent with why is it that movies have to come in fours?
Why does...
What do you mean?
What do you mean in fours?
Adam Sandler, David Spade, Chris Rock, Kevin James,
Carrie Bradshaw, Samantha Jones, Miranda...
Charlotte.
What's Miranda's last name?
Or Charlotte.
Charlotte Runkle, Miranda Steve.
Miranda Brady
Did she take his name?
I don't know
Then you've got the four boys in this one
Why are you so afraid of fucking around with a different amount of leet?
Or like
Well
If you have two
That's a buddy film
I think it's the movies we've picked
I think we are the self-selecting
Entity of that
Mate
From a sample size of three
What's a movie?
100% of movies
Have four people in them
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
four of them
yeah
but what's
is there any good movies
that are
three musketeers
no the Matrix
is more than three
it's like a billion
Ghostbusters
four
the ghost
no Ghostbusters is four
you've got
Dan Aykroyd
Bill Murray Harold Ramis and and The Ghost? No, Ghostbusters is four. You've got Dan Aykroyd.
Bill Murray.
Harold Ramis.
There's the guy who joins later.
I don't know.
I've only seen it once.
Doesn't matter.
So this movie, this fucking movie.
So it can't really compare to the first two that we've seen because it's like, it's pretty coherent and shit, man.
It really caught me off guard.
It's a joy to be around.
It really is.
Like, this is going to take a while to wear down.
Imagine you're at a cocktail party and the first person you meet is Adam Sandler.
And the next person you meet is Carrie Bradshaw.
And after both of them, you're just like, what is life?
And then you meet someone who's like...
Zac Efron though.
Yeah.
It's actually perfect because I reckon
from all the interviews and stuff I've seen of Zac Efron,
which isn't much,
but I reckon he'd be a fucking cool dude to hang out with
for an afternoon.
I think I've heard that Sarah Jessica Parker
is actually super lovely from some people who have met her.
I've probably said it last season,
but I really enjoyed her comedians in cars getting coffee. haven't seen that she seemed lovely yeah i'll bet she
seems very personable and shit but zach efron i could bro down with him this i'll tell you what
though this movie it's a big old bro down oh this one's for the fellas yeah this one is for the boys
mix up a drink put your dick in it stir iturp it down, boys, because this one's for you.
There's only one female character in the entirety of the film.
Literally.
There's one, one, one, one, who gets lines at all.
And the only thing we know about her is that she wants to go to Stanford.
But it really bugged me that the major was never mentioned, like what she actually wants to do with her life.
She went to Stanford.
She went to Stanford for a bit.
She couldn't afford it.
So she dropped out.
Her name is Sophie.
She's played by Emily.
We'll get the pronunciation by the end of this season.
Eastern European surname.
And were you buying the chemistry?
I really like this.
So there's a bit of a love triangle situation.
Pretty much Zac Efron or Cole.
Zac-ole. We'll call Efron or Cole. Zac Cole.
We'll call him Zac Cole.
Zac Coley.
Zac Coley, my boy.
Zac Cole's good because it's like Zac Cole as well.
Zac Cole, he wants to be a DJ and somehow he's at a night gig at the club
telling the only other woman who are cast in the film
are there to fulfill one role,
which is to walk up to...
Oh, yeah.
Two roles, sorry.
Either titties or to walk up to Zac Efron
or Zicole when he's DJing
and request Drunken Love.
That's what...
That was the casting call
for the females on this movie.
And those who got the call up
did their jobs admirably.
Yeah.
But he gets taken under the wing of this sort of older style DJ.
Well, it's funny, isn't it?
Because they keep hammering you throughout the film
about how we've both got such bad cops.
You'll have to excuse our voices.
They keep setting him up as being old man river of the music world like he is that
they keep making he makes all these jokes about young people in the youth and how you're not a
real person till you're 27 all this stuff the dude appears to be about 34 but they've set him up to
be the oldest man in the universe he's meant to be like i guess now when we talk about another
characters are that well drawn like he's this archetype of an old washed up alcoholic dj he's meant to be like i guess now when we talk about another characters is that well drawn like he's this archetype of an old washed up alcoholic dj he's still like looks like he's
got all the bits of a cool life but isn't necessarily happy with himself it's it's not
super dissimilar from um what's his name aldous and uh get him to the greek oh elder snow yeah
yeah he's kind of like a huge deal and semi sort of washed up
at the present time
we've seen
but it's less fun
because he's
not Russell Brand
and I think this is
true to form
yes firstly that
but also
electronic dance music
musos I think
are a lot more earnest
than rock stars
I think there's a lot
of rock stars out there
they're just like
oh mate
we'll just fucking
you know
we'll play some jams
and shit
but it's all a bit
of a laugh isn't it
it was quite a funny moment at the start of the film when
Zac Efron is at the
Thursday night gig that they flyed for
and he's DJing the side room and he's sort of
got no one playing for him and he just puts his headphones
down and walks away from his kit because he's like
well what am I doing with my life
and then he watches the guy
who's DJing the main stage who later turns out to be
washed up Eldis
and Zicole, it's like Tim you turned to me at that point the guy who's DJing the main stage, who later turns out to be washed up Aldis.
And Ziccoli, it's like, Tim, you turned to me at that point and you said, well, this is quite full on
because at this point in the movie,
Ziccoli is recognising that the entire scene
and industry is hollow.
Oh yeah, it's because of how they shot that as well.
It sort of pans around,
switching between a first person perspective
of Cole looking around the club while he's just sipping on a beer.
Zicoli.
Zicoli, I beg your pardon.
And then looking at him looking disappointed.
It's just like showing the hollow emptiness of a bunch of gyrating people
who are just like trying to get chemically enhanced enough
for this to be a good time for them.
And it's just a bit sad.
And that's right up front.
And you're like, this is the world that Zac Efron is trying to conquer in this film. And you're like, oh, this is a bit sad and that's right up front and you're like this is the world that Zac Efron is trying
to conquer in this film and you're like oh this is a bit fucking grim it felt like we were about
like at that point I was worried we were going to be trapped in a terrible nightclub for the year
uh but you break out of there though I do like that about the movie too that it's not all at
night and in a club like it feels very open it open. It's crazy that the big pinnacle event that he's working towards
at the end, spoiler alert, Summerfest, is outdoors and at daytime.
By the way, whoever organised that Summerfest gig,
heads are going to roll because there was a huge programming
and technical snafu.
Nobody is coming back next year to Summerfest, you guys.
It's an absolute disaster.
There are huge chunks of the gig when no one's playing.
There's thousands.
Let us paint you a picture.
So it is, I'm going to call it Saturday.
Everyone is at Summerfest.
The promoters have done a great job marketing this gig.
That's right.
Thousands of teaming masses.
Bus backs.
Beautiful bodies. Billboards. Targeted Facebook advertising. That's right. Thousands of teaming masses. Bus backs. Beautiful bodies. Billboards.
Targeted Facebook advertising.
Everyone is there.
Everyone who you want to be there
is there. I'm talking thousands of people
squashed up against each other. That hot dude
from the football team you've been waiting to talk to.
That cute cheerleader you're too nervous to approach.
Who would have thought that if the cute
cheerleader and the hot football dude just talked to each other
in the first place, they'd realise they both
wanted the same thing. A long term
loving and healthy relationship with one another.
Which kicks off at Summerfest.
So that's where they meet to kick this off.
So, we've got all of these beautiful
people ready to rock and
just like at a normal music
festival, they all just go to an empty
stage and politely wait
for the act to come and start playing
so we're just like we're there and zach efron's in a very chilled out entertainer very slow kind
of way considering there's a billion people waiting for him to start playing just rocks up
with his backpack slowly pulls out his macbook plugs it into the DA, which, the DI rather, which I have to say, you would never do that
because you'd check with the sound effects
and you'd get that.
You'd have to fucking cut the camera.
It's madness.
There's been some sort of communication breakdown.
It's insane.
It's pulling out all these USB MIDI devices.
You've got a little keyboard thing.
Literally scores of people just watching Ziccoli set up.
A guy they don't even know.
They're fine with it too.
There's no holding music.
There's nothing to keep the vibe going.
It's just like they've sucked the air out of the outdoors.
There's no atmosphere.
So then.
There's no gravity.
People are floating up into space, joining orbit, going into orbit,
joining orbit.
Our boy Ziccol, kills it though.
He starts it off as he explained it would before.
You got to start low with the bass line because that affects the waist of a human being.
That's where it gets him swaying, swishing around.
Yeah, this is what he explains how music works out loud, sort of as a narrative device,
but also at the start he's doing it to Emily,
or no, Sophie, sorry.
Sophimile, Eastern European last name.
Sophimile.
Sophimile.
Sophimiflies.
Sounds like a Greek character.
Sounds like something you give your dog.
Greek mythology.
Fleas.
Sophimiflies.
Sophimiflies.
Available from all good pet stores.
Anyway.
Also, Zicoli sound I think this episode
is being brought to you
by Zicoli
a delicious new
pasta product
carbohydrate free
promoted by
Zac Efron
when Zac Efron's
getting in shape
to film Baywatch
all he eats is
Zicoli pasta
should mention actually
this episode
is sponsored by
Big Pipe
Zicoli
Big Pipe Zicoli.
An exciting new fiber broadband service
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When you're sick of the internet, eat it.
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The only fiber to give you fiber.
Big Pipe.
No, it's actually got no fiber in it either.
It's pretty much just water.
Anyway, what were you saying about Zicoli?
Oh, he explains how music works
like out loud
to her
at a party she's hosting.
He mansplains music.
He does a bit,
eh?
He does a little bit.
But he walks her through it.
Yeah.
And then,
so he's sort of applying,
it's quite like,
a lot of the storytelling
is very heavy handed. At the end, he's applying all of the shit that's been said out loud and brought up through the film at the end of it. And the last track he plays, which they do like, it's quite, I guess there was only one way that they were going to do this, but it's quite bold to set up the entire climax of the film to be this one song that's going to make or break this young pastor eating dj as a coley and like the song by all accounts has to be sweltering hot yeah because that's
the entire film rides on this moment it's all built up to this one thing and they're
quite actually it's a bit of a cop out but probably but probably the only way to do it really,
to not foof yourself, would be roll credits there.
So it's like the first fucking note is about to hit,
and then you hit the credits, and you actually just use
someone else's huge banger, like a big old Daft Punk.
Yeah, I had Calvin Harris bounce in my head when you said you'd play the first night
but i think no you'd have been furious if they hadn't played a song i know but um yeah like i
like that they did good on them for doing it the song fucking wasn't that good it's actually started
with a lot of promise it reminded me of this track that came out in the late 90s i think by a group called the orb called
oh oh no fuck actually maybe it's not the orb no it's orbital fluffy white clouds is the track
uh so it starts off real like kind of um soundscapey because that's what zach efron's
been taught by the dj master who in his collective 35 years of infinite wisdom in the
music realm has,
uh,
no,
and this to be true,
you gotta be authentic to yourself.
You gotta,
you gotta go out there and get the organic sound and you gotta bring it to
the computer.
And then you gotta bring it to the stage.
Zach,
everyone,
I'm ever full on chat with Zach.
Everyone's like,
but isn't all electronic music digital.
And he's,
and he's like, yeah, but it can be digital,
and it can still be organic.
And then he opens up this cupboard, and it's full of Zicoli pasta, organic, carbohydrate, fiber-free.
It's water.
It's water and plastic.
It's a little bit of Gatorade and a whole lot of water is what it is.
it's a little bit of Gatorade and a whole lot of water is what it is.
Uh,
it's,
it's,
it's going to be a weird old,
weird old year for Timbo and, and Guy.
Yeah,
it will be,
but I'm looking forward to it.
I'm really looking forward to digging into this one.
Did you have anything?
Obviously we quite enjoyed the film and I,
I think it was the only thing that jumped out as a,
Oh,
look,
there's some pretty bold, just by virtue of what it is, misogyny about the film.
Just sort of baked into it a little bit.
Not a little bit, quite a lot.
Which I wasn't expecting from director and writer.
What's his name?
Max Texter?
No.
He's always on his bloody phone.
Max Texter is someone on twitter i think max specter
no it's like max flex joseph maximum joseph bringing the noise the guy who did um catfish
catfish uh because whenever i when i saw catfish and i've seen him the mtv show which is pales in
comparison to the movie um he seems like a pretty kind of switched on,
balanced dude.
But I mean, would you agree with that assessment?
It might be a bit unfair
because what I like about this film is it's a genre film.
And I think it actually has now the genre.
I don't know for sure because I'm not like in the scene.
I'm not a scene dude.
But from the outside looking in, I'm like, yeah.
If I was 19, I saw that movie.
I was like, I'm going to be a DJ now.
Yeah.
Boys.
I can only imagine the boners that 16-year-old boys in high school would have got watching this film.
Fuck yeah.
Pointing them straight to the next pile of cocaine and nightclubs.
Absolutely.
With no idea how to talk to another person.
It's like, have you seen that documentary Scratch? No
I reckon you'd be into it, it's quite old
now, came out in the 90s I think
late 90s, but it's all about turntablism
and it's like, you watch it and you're like
right on, someone give me $3000
because I'm buying some techniques
it's one of those
it's sort of like a poor man's
vision of that, yeah I think if you were younger
and impressionable you'd come out of that movie being like a poor man's vision of that. Yeah, I think if you were younger and impressionable,
you'd come out of that movie being like,
yo, I'm going to be Zac Efron,
and I'm going to kill my friend by an empty pool,
and then I'm going to be fucking rich
and have sex with beautiful women.
That was another thing that happens in the movie
which we didn't have to confront
in Grown Ups 2 or Sex and the City 2.
Spoiler alert.
Spoiler alert.
Someone dies.
Yeah, and it is very unanticipated.
It's quite shocking.
Yeah.
The movie's kind of coasting for the first hour and 10 minutes.
Everything is coming up.
Zicoli.
Yeah.
I mean, the product's taking the market really well.
People are scoffing it down.
This guy is a pastor.
Millionaire.
They keep painting old man River Jimbo as a villain,
but it's kind of like he does some dickish stuff,
but he's just more of like a flawed guy who overall is pretty fine.
But they keep sort of trying to paint him as being this real bad dude.
But what he does, he basically takes Zuccoli under his wing and offers him equipment and housing and opportunities and just shit.
And PCP.
He spikes in with PCP the first night they meet,
and they go out and get lit as fuck.
Now look, full disclosure, I've never had PCP,
but I don't think the film's depiction of your experience on PCP
matches what I've heard about it.
Because everything I hear about PCP is people getting superhuman strength
and beating up police officers. The way this movie movie makes pcp look it looks like a delight it looks
like a acid like a friendlier acid where what will happen if you take pcp is you go to this
awesome party and the paintings will start winking at you and then suddenly everyone will become a
smiling cartoon and they'll want to dance and kiss Yeah, and you kind of go in and out
a la
AHA's
Take On Me
in a rotoscoped fashion
where you're in the real world
and then you're not
and you are and you aren't.
It was a fun,
it was a fun sequence.
You know?
It's fun and games.
Didn't get that in Sex and the City 2.
didn't get that in Grown Ups.
I think the actual,
like the tagline for this movie
was we are your friends
so long as you bring
pcp to our party it's a big old pro pcp propaganda piece yeah and it's about time that those pcp
lobbyists started getting their act together with their communications campaign because there's so
much negative press about pcp that's right we're gonna start countering it are you on are you on
you're on the pcp train i may or may not have accepted certain contributions from big PCP.
PCP is now sponsoring the podcast.
Try the new PCP-infused Zicoli pasta.
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Zicoli with PCP.
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Yeah, fuck.
It's not.
I haven't heard that PCP does that to you, though.
I've just heard that it's a real aggressive thing.
Yeah.
Super aggressive.
And it's also very, like, I didn't know it was still around.
I don't think it's in vogue.
I thought it was a 90s thing.
I know nothing of it apart from its name and that it was a 90s thing I know nothing of it Apart from it's name
And that it's not a good thing
To put in your body
I got spiked in Melbourne
Yeah your drink got spiked
Yeah well
Tell the story
It wasn't my drink
I um
Well yeah okay
You didn't get spiked
Uh well
It depends how you look at it
You took something from a
You took something Offered to you from a stranger?
Yeah, but he didn't tell me what it was.
He offered it to me.
It's not like I snatched something out of his hand.
No, but if you're spiked, that's something that happens to you.
You were complicit.
Yeah, okay, that's fair.
That's probably fair.
I was in a nightclub in Melbourne, which turned out out to be a gay nightclub which i wasn't aware
when i walked in with some mates and then i was like is it is it all good that we're here we're
not killing the vibe for anyone but everyone was just having a good time so i was like this is
cool this is fine everyone's a bit fucked up we're good and then a dude uh offered me a little vial
that just said the words party juice on it and i was like i fucking love parties so i drank it but then it had a an intensely
chemical taste to it and um what you've never drank party juice before this doesn't taste like
a party at all and i took a healthy swig out of that vial which i should have in retrospect been
like if it's in a vial you probably don't drink that much of it. How big was the vial?
From memory, a few inches.
Yeah.
A few inches tall.
Tim's holding his fingers about two and a half inches apart.
And so I took a good healthy swig and then I was like, yucky.
And then I had another beer and then I vomited my guts out,
which was a good thing.
I figured out the next day because the next day i was telling someone they're like yeah it's probably bloody ghb it's like oh that stuff and ghb is
it can be it is sometimes used as a recreational drug but it's sometimes used as a date rape
drug that's mighty unpleasant very much you so. You shouldn't label GHB
as party juice. Certainly not.
Nah.
CD cleaner, maybe.
That's what it used to be in.
They used to put it in CD. Everyone was
getting CD cleaner. Getting fucking
wazzed off it. Really? Yeah.
Fuck, people just put anything in there, eh? I know, man.
People just want to get
out of it.
So this movie is advertising drugs for a lot of it and but then eventually they're one of the mates dies squirrel
yeah and then they're like oh and then the boys all have a little fight because they're like oh
you killed him yeah there is a brief moment of that where they try and lay blame at each other's
feet but then that kind of dissipates rather quickly.
Never feels like it gets mega resolved,
all that stuff.
It's sort of, I don't know,
it kind of, it's just
a bit of a,
it's just a fine
96 minutes of nothingness.
Tim and Eric fans will be pleased to know
that Eric Werheim makes a
cameo appearance. Altogether too brief.
Altogether too brief.
A cameo appearance as the priest.
At the funeral.
Which is pretty cool.
I don't think you hear him say anything.
Non-speaking role, uncredited.
Yeah.
Don't look at the credits because they may have someone else's name there,
but rest assured it is Eric Werheim.
He did it under a performance name.
He would too.
Eric Werheim's exactly the kind of dude who would do that.
And especially get a script like we are,
your friends would just be like, yep.
Yep.
Sure.
This is my big break.
Absolutely.
This movie is exciting because it's so different
from the previous two that we've picked.
There's drugs.
There's death.
There's titties.
There's dance music there's
white guys wearing tank tops for africa we had that in grown-ups too it's true actually that's
true do you think patrick schwarzenegger and zach efron would get on fuck yes i am like you would
have to convince me they're not already friends in real life irl well i check in with patty
schwarzenegger's snapchat every day have you never seen i've never seen zach i've never seen a
crossover i i think those two fucking we got to get those kids together man if this podcast can
achieve nothing else like in the three years that it will have existed for by the end of this
we got to get zach efron and patty schwartz together would you like to be in the room with
them oh it would be an honour, but I
don't even, I don't know how much
friendship I can handle. That'd just be
too intense.
My little cynical heart
would explode. Overwhelmed
with genuine
bro love for each
other. For those boys. For those boys.
They should start their own pizza chain.
Schwarzenegger should take
his money they should do a crossover between blaze and zicoli yeah oh there you go pastor
base patty can take all of his experience that he's had in the franchise pizza game and the
monstrous wealth that he's created for himself out of a little injection of early capital
into a business that now lebron j has dipped his toes into, I think.
He dipped his toes in a while ago, man.
I've got to say, fuck we called it.
Yeah, bro.
Honestly, we did so much work for you, Blaze Pizza,
you sons of bitches.
We didn't call it.
We fucking made them, dog.
And every now and then now, very occasionally,
when we've tweeted, they've tweeted a little reply back,
and then I'll turn on a dime
Because it'll be a nice message to Blaze Peach
And they go I hope you're enjoying Blaze Peach
And I'm like where's my fucking money
You guys owe us some serious coin
Some serious cheddar
And I know that you've got it
LeBron James is on your team now
God damn it
Yeah LeBron James has got money
So anyway what I meant by all that was that
Paddy Schwartz will be bringing his knowledge and capital to the game.
Zuccoli is the product.
So you put those two things together and you've got a recipe for success.
Zac Efron's probably got a bit of capital to throw behind it as well.
I don't know, man.
God knows.
Have you seen that guy's body recently?
Zac Efron's?
Yeah.
Is he shredding for Baywatch?
He's like, genuinely, because The Rock is in Baywatch as well.
Yeah.
And they like...
Are they comparable in any way?
Yes.
Really?
Yes.
Fuck, how did he...
Because he's not...
His build, naturally, is like...
Look, he's a gorgeous dude.
He's a very good-looking man.
But he's in no way, shape, or form rock-like.
Rock has a base.
Rock is working...
Hard work and dedication.
He used half of this film as an opportunity to train for Baywatch.
Fuck.
Well, not half, but I'd say a quarter of the movie is Zac Efron running.
A lot of running.
You could probably cut a short film about zach efron running every
day just from the footage you could probably cut a zikoli advertisement from zach efron exercising
in this movie fuck that's a good idea i might try and carve out some time and get to that
i'll be you don't find the time yeah i'll bet you i don't know hey tim just quickly uh because we
are running out of time.
Oh, fuck, we are too.
I would like to share with you my shining light.
And it's not that the film in itself was not unpleasant to watch,
although I do fear we've lost perspective on what is and isn't a good film.
Undoubtedly.
I would like to say that my shining light, it got a genuine chug of for me.
So at one point in this film, spoiler alert,
Zac Efron bones James' the only female.
The fleamonger.
Yeah.
He bones the only fleamonger in the film,
also the only female character in the film,
who is the girlfriend of the cool DJ guy.
And they come to fisticuffs.
He does it through like the stupidest thing ever.
He saves a photo on his phone so that when the fleamonger calls him,
her picture is them, like, semi-nude canoodling.
Yeah.
And he leaves his phone next to the fleamonger's actual boyfriend
who sees the phone ring and is like, hey, man, so this isn't very cool.
Anyway, eventually time passes, and he goes back to the house to try and make up with the uh the washed up dj
and they talk to each other and they both look like garbage uh and the washed up dj says to
zicoly you look like shit and zicoly says so do you and then washed up dj says yeah while he's
drinking whiskey well i actually feel terrific.
And it's so funny.
It's such good writing.
Fuck, it was good.
It honestly got me right in the ghoulies.
Loved it.
Did you have a shining light?
This is going to sound pretty dark, but it was screw dying.
Because it added some genuine, it was like, fuck, man,
we've finally hit a movie this time Yeah
Nothing happens in either of the previous two of our choices
And in this one it's like
There's some fucking journeying you know
That's so true
There's a voyage
Shit there's going to be a lot of parables coming out of this movie
Parables?
A lot of parables
Comparables
I don't know what I'm saying
Parables is like a story from the bible Yeah yeah A lot of them This, con parables. I don't know what I'm saying. Parables is like a
story from the Bible.
Yeah, yeah.
A lot of them.
This is a very
deeply religious movie.
Cole is Jeebus,
but also kind of
Judas as well,
because you shouldn't
have slept with that
guy's girlfriend,
even though he was
sleeping around on
her, I don't know,
flea monger.
It looks like a
confusing industry to work in. It looks like a confusing industry to work in.
It looks like a lot of flexible morals
and not a lot of magnetic north on the old moral compass.
I'm looking so forward to continuing this journey with you.
I'm so sorry, but we're going to have to end it there.
We've got to rush off and do something.
I want to leave you guys with two parting things.
Firstly, is another just huge thank you very much to Big Pipe
for continuing to support the project that no one believed in.
And also, whoever is doing the social media at Big Pipe,
I really appreciate that at one point you tweeted out,
we will not come.
Someone tweeted Big Pipe being like,
and you won't throttle our family members.
And Big Pipe responded, no, we will not come to your house
and throttle you or your family.
They've got an excellent social media team.
Excellent.
It was really good.
Big Pipe are bloody good.
And if you sign up to them in New Zealand,
use the code worst because it like shows them
that we sent them a customer
and it'll keep them on board and happy.
And God knows they're on board.
They're in the room right now pointing guns at us
as we read out this paid for spot. And the last thing that i want to do is i'm gonna we're gonna go out on
that ashton johnson intro that he made for us we've we've actually been sent probably somewhere
in the order of 10 of these intros and i reckon we'll cycle through a few of them we'll play
maybe all the ones we've received in a friends only episode just as a fucking little uh little
journey through that undoubtedly induoubtedly and dubitably.
Also, if you are in New Zealand,
we're doing a live event this Saturday night,
11pm at the Monte Cristo,
the second episode of We Are Your Friends.
We're going to watch it.
We're going to talk about it.
We're going to play electronic dance music afterwards.
It's going to be a hell of a time.
And before that, Guy and I are both about today
to kick off two weeks of comedy shows
after doing a week in Wellington,
after doing three weeks in Melbourne.
Come and see our shows if you're in Auckland, please.
The good times never stop.
Otherwise, live your lives.
Try Zicoli pasta.
Live every moment.
Yeah.
Full circle, people.
It's good to be alive.
Tim and Guy, we are your friends friends we're going to come back again
worst idea of all time season three