The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Seven: The Volume Thing

Episode Date: January 14, 2019

Tim is in power pose with all the drinks, ready for another review of Sex and The City. He's once again broken the movie into bite-sized chunks so he doesn't choke on it. Monty isn't happy with Carrie... not getting recognised for her great joke. Charlotte definitely got ebola. Anthony is a wedding gift. What's too big to be a chair and too small to be a couch? Plus, the correct order of acceptable numbers on a volume slider. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 We just have a good rhythm together, you know, he sort of feels me out, I feel him out, and we go for it. Welcome to the worst idea of all time, season four, the secretly recorded Sex and the City numero uno season. My name is Tim Batt, and I am recording in Auckland, New Zealand. I'm Guy. I'm in uh new york city um this was an intentionally energetic intro for me guy because we're on video chat you are literally in bed you're in a very low energy body position right now on bed and i actually have just propped myself up i was as i watched the film i actually i watched half this half the film, I actually had to, I watched half the film,
Starting point is 00:00:49 this is the seventh screening, by the way, everyone, on a train from Philadelphia to New York. And then I watched the other half slowly melting into my bed here in New York. And when we started recording, I realized I was still in my sort of quite negative, quite laid back position. I had two pillows propping up my neck. And so I've gone into a slightly more physically ready and upbeat pose,
Starting point is 00:01:15 not dissimilar to Kate Winslet in the film Titanic. I'm on my side. I am opening up my body language to you tim it's not to say i'm happy but i'm doing what i can to be presenting i am uh maybe i should do the entirety of the podcast in power stance uh fists clenched held above my head this is what big wig ceos recommend you do before you go into a board meeting because it gets it gets the hormones juiced up gets them all nice and juicy for you yeah absolutely i would like you to keep your arms up for as long as possible i hope you have your notes in front of
Starting point is 00:01:56 you because um i don't want to see those arms coming down that uh this may be a challenge i've also got uh just to add to the difficulty setting a lovely little smoothie and a coffee that I've just made and both of them will go bad in record time if I'm here with both arms above my head like a jackass the good thing is you can visually verify
Starting point is 00:02:16 when I fuck this up I don't think you're going to I have no reason to doubt that you Tim Batt a man who's shown nothing but pig-headed commitment to this premise time and again, absolutely has the guts and the gall to go all the way. No guts, no glory. Even right now, I don't want to be doing it.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Look at me. I'm just lounging. I've got two pillows here on my lovely bed, and look at you, Mr. Power Stunts. I'm in Power Stunts. I'm good to go. I'm ready to merge two companies into a conglomerate. Let's get it done.
Starting point is 00:02:53 Tell me about your screening. Let's do a hostile takeover. I want to put my hat on because I can see myself and my hair is messy. I want to look good for you. Hands are where you can see them. How was the screening for me? well i i did the old timbo special of splitting the movie in twain um enjoying half of this delectable treat late at night next to my lovely wife in bed uh because i think that this is a movie not to be consumed often in one
Starting point is 00:03:22 chunk you might choke on it Real choking hazard on this thing. It's big. You get it in your mouth, you don't realize what you're dealing with. So I like to break it apart. First half was good. And then, I couldn't really get to sleep afterward.
Starting point is 00:03:36 So I was, you know what I did? I listened to the Spongebob Squarepants musical on Spotify and mentally reminisced about old times when we went and saw it live on broadway yeah yeah that was a good night you were what you were your brain was so asleep so a whir and a buzz from half of a sex in the city too that you thought you'd take things down a notch by listening to the music of bikini bottom is this what i'm to believe it's kind of the opposite
Starting point is 00:04:04 and that my brain was so starved of stimulus it kind of started ramping itself up does that make sense not a lot to me but i mean you are a unique specimen to me if my brain sure am i'm in power stance right now do you think that you're the only person in power stance right now do you think there are business people across the globe who are currently getting ready for a big meeting? There's $75 billion worth of humans in power stance right now. Jesus. And it's less people than you'd think.
Starting point is 00:04:36 How many people? And what's your contribution to the $75 billion of net worth to those in power currently unlimited potential and is that uh recognized by the other people in power starts or is that something that you sort of have to constantly tell them you bring to the table we're lone wolves baby that's how people in power starts operate we're sole operators they had to grab the world by the short and curlies if the short and curlies were um about a foot above our heads because that's where our hands are that's right so as we were uh you watched half the movie you listened to the i'm done with power starts no no
Starting point is 00:05:20 no no no no no no no no no no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Thank you. Stressing me out. Putting your hands by your side. Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay. If I make noises like that, dear listener, rest assured, nothing untoward is happening to me, save for Tim flouting his earlier statement and drinking alternating sips of his coffee and smoothie. The smoothie is a beautiful deep purple.
Starting point is 00:05:45 It looks fantastic. So you listen to SpongeBob SquarePants, and then you fall asleep or are you still awake? No, I listened to a bit of Hamilton after that. And then I was reading, read a little bit of my book, and then just sat there thinking for another while. Not a great sleeper guy. No.
Starting point is 00:06:07 So at what point were you like, after you watched Half Sex and the City, you were like, I should go to sleep right now? And then you did three different activities. It was almost like I can't take any more of the movie. And then you did three different activities. How long after you finished watching Sex and the City did you go to sleep? Who's to say? I don't know when I nodded off.
Starting point is 00:06:28 Early hours of the morning, guy. And then how much sleep did you get? Not a ton. Not a ton. Five hours? Goes, yeah, maybe slightly under that, I reckon. That's right, that's enough to operate. So then Zoe gets up and do you start watching immediately or do you... Yeah, maybe slightly under that, I reckon. That's right. That's enough to operate.
Starting point is 00:06:49 So then Zoe gets up, and do you start watching immediately, or do you... Fuck, PowerStarts, man. Put your hands up! No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. I'm done with it, man. Moms, they're aching. Guys in PowerStarts, he's found a way to position the mic. So he's like a boxing announcer position the mic so he's like a um boxing
Starting point is 00:07:06 announcer it's coming from the ceiling in one corner weighing in that's not what they say they always specify which corner they knew they are so good at that it's one of the most important things i want more details on your screening so you get Zoe gets up do you also get up? absolutely not I'm still in bed which is not a good way to do business and you start watching immediately in bed yeah I do I do
Starting point is 00:07:35 and uh I must have like interrupted it somehow as well because you messaged me saying hey I'm going to be a little bit late because I'm on this train from Philly. You're in Philadelphia. That's amazing. Like the cheese guy.
Starting point is 00:07:50 And I was like, I don't know how this has happened, but I am also running late. And I'm not quite sure because I thought I managed my time pretty well for us to be arriving at the station at the scheduled slot on the timetable. Look, man, there's not a ton of detail to give you. I watched the
Starting point is 00:08:10 same movie again. It's Sex and the City. Wasn't happy about it. I was alright with it last night, surprisingly. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, you were grumpy this morning. You sent me the same joke three times across two different mediums tim would you like
Starting point is 00:08:25 to share that with the listener who's hotter than miranda hobbs i don't know tim who miranda stove that's not the punchline you sent me oh what did i say miranda oven fuck yeah i fucked up my own joke you did guy what tell me about your circumstances for watching this film it sounds like you were traveling very quickly uh just pretty much just knew i knew i had to get down to business bog standard garden variety first day at the office sort of job uh i watched half of it on the train bluetooth bluetooth headphones on so surround sound audio uh and then i had to that was like you know that was a an hour and a half train ride so that was about right in terms of um that was relaxing but then had to catch you know the metro to get uh home and
Starting point is 00:09:25 then just as soon as i got home tucked straight back into it uh didn't really like it at any point just scrolling through my notes to see if anything got me going uh i tell you what i did enjoy what did you enjoy uh i managed i managed to stay exactly where i was uh this note's not it was there was a small set it's uh at the start of the movie so all is well everyone's their relationships carrie's bragging about their life in new york uh and the last line of her voiceover is before we see her with mr big is and i imagine to stay exactly where i was in love and then uh in the original motion picture soundtrack you hear a saxophone line and i've written it in parenthesis here so i could recreate it for you
Starting point is 00:10:19 but obviously i didn't write it as music i just wrote the words and it's something along those lines but um i thought it was fun i imagine the player of the instrument sort of being like oh this isn't the hardest note i'm going to play it's not the most exciting melody but i can see how this will be deployed in the film and i'm happy to put my uh my artistic integrity on the line for it sounds like you might be dealing with a saxophone maybe an alto sax kind of a sound almost definitely the instrument yeah i can't remember the flourish uh directly offhand but like the mariachi band that i equipped you with last episode this gives me a musical cue to look forward to in my next watch that's right i also um i i then got taken i didn't get taken out of it i started getting quite grumpy quite quickly after
Starting point is 00:11:11 that though when they start looking around that penthouse apartment uh in the same building where they see that first dud and uh carrie starts doing one of her jokes and i'm on the record of saying i'm not a huge fan of her comic sensibility but that's not to say that it's not for you know she's built a career out of it she's obviously got fans and you know there's a there's a an audience for it and all power to them uh and she makes a joke when they're looking around the house she sort of uh pretends to own it she says hello i live here now and everyone sort of smiles along uh and the when she's out on the balcony. The greasy realtor says to Big, your wife has quite the sense of humor.
Starting point is 00:11:52 And I was like, fucking say it to her. Laugh. Do anything except just pretending she's not in the room and saying to Big, oh, wow, you've got a real live wire over here. It's ridiculous. If you and I are in a room with a third party and you make a joke,
Starting point is 00:12:17 that third party would never say to me, well, your friend has quite the... They'd go, oh, good one. It's fucked. Isn't it it to be fair i think in this nah i think you're being too harsh on the realtor and the staging of the room carries quite a way away and berg is standing right next to the realtor he should have done this sideline comment he should have done this then good one you know great gig great gig i was just telling your husband that i think you've got a great sense of humor that's not even the line that deserves it she when she walks in and sees
Starting point is 00:12:56 this penthouse apartment that is just absolutely stunning she says oh i hate it it's horrible it hurts my eyes to look at that i enjoy every time because she sells that to me and also guy i've got another third surprise drink oh my gosh what time is it where you are it's like 10 20 a.m it is this is whiskey from last night but there's there's a bit left yeah good for you. So those rock ice cubes you use, they're not cold right now. They're room temp. They're room temp. The whole operation is room temperature.
Starting point is 00:13:34 Whiskey, of course. Well, whiskey can be drunk at multiple temperatures. It's a versatile drink. Isn't it? Felt like you were going to go somewhere else with that yeah that's absolutely right and i i don't mind it at this temperature actually it's not too warm or anything it's okay do you think i'm being uncouth by uh not having a chilled whiskey no people drink it without ice that's what i'm saying yeah i think it's totally fine i think um you know it's totally fine. I think, you know, it's a heck of a pallet you're running.
Starting point is 00:14:07 I don't know if pallet's the right word, but it's a heck of a lineup of beverages you're running there. I like multiple drinks in the morning as much as the next man. But 10, 20 a.m. on a Monday, just neck and whiskey alongside your coffee and your smoothie. I mean, your body's going to be in all sorts. Nah, I think i'll just be ready for any situation the day throws at me especially if i can have 20 seconds to prepare
Starting point is 00:14:30 if someone gives me a heads up on what's happening power starts and i'm rolling in there slightly drunk highly caffeinated and with all the vitamins my body could want or need it's all liquids from here on in guy you're off solids yeah speaking of solids and you know diets uh one moment that i felt tremendous empathy in the movie uh the bluetooth headphones doing a lot of heavy lifting when charlotte uh her tummy starts rumbling in mexico and uh look without going into too much detail myself i uh had what wound up being a pretty comfortable sort of – my tummy was making noises. And I was in a situation where I had to find a bathroom pretty quickly over the weekend. And thankfully, I did. tummy was making and then the sense of release that my body experienced upon sitting down
Starting point is 00:15:25 uh i felt immense empathy and fear actually for charlotte when she was walking along and her tummy was going and i was like oh i mean it's not worked out for you before it's certainly not going to work out for you this week but my heart goes out to you sister i had a deep think about that moment this week because i got to thinking about what the incubation period is for gastro the movie leads us to believe it's because she opens her mouth and gets the shower water in there and that's what causes it
Starting point is 00:15:54 it's not long enough so then no and moreover the people who watch this movie the people who identify with Charlotte like Charlotte's entire notion that she can't movie the people who identify with charlotte like charlotte's entire notion that she can't eat the food in mexico because it's going to make her sick is it's ludicrous right it's um it's borderline ignorant and then for her to then
Starting point is 00:16:17 become sick by getting what like all the people who identify with charlotte and you know think of her as the character to whom they most relate when they see that happen in the film then that's just gonna you know um perpetuate the fear they experience about holidaying in mexico you think it's some bad role modeling by the film huh doubling down on people's um ill-founded fears here's what i was thinking though and this certainly won't help uh this cause that you're describing i reckon she's picked up the ebola virus and i think that that uh you look shocked that that sound that you hear from your guts isn't the normal kind of tummy rumble i think it's her insides liquefying like your organs being turned to blood uh look you know i don't want to cast out immediately on your bold statement but
Starting point is 00:17:06 i you know you'd get the feeling that without any serious medical attention or none shown on screen her body mounts a pretty spectacular uh comeback against what is more or less as i understand it uh a virus with a 100% fatality rate. Yeah, you got it. And that's what makes it a miracle in the film, and overlooked. Everyone gets their own miracle in this movie. Tell me Steve's miracle. Steve's miracle is the gift of forgiveness.
Starting point is 00:17:43 You know, the capacity for human forgiveness is truly a miracle and he receives that gorgeous gift from miranda samantha's miracle is she uh gets out of her cancer um all good gets the all clear that's what happens before the film but it's in the world of the film Yeah, it happens before the film, but it's in the world of the film. Neither of these miracles hold a lot of water for me so far. Charlotte's is, if what you're saying is true, undeniably a miracle. How dare you doubt what I'm saying being true. Suffer through and then beat Ebola over the course of 24 hours in Mexico, is nothing short of a miracle.
Starting point is 00:18:26 Carrie's miracle? What's more believable, Guy? Who getting gastro in like six hours from an open mouth in a shower? Or her being the one person who's ever single-handedly defeated the Ebola virus? The first one. The first one is so much more likely. You couldn't even finish describing a longer incubation period look i'm not saying that you know the timeline laid out for gastro is 100 accurate
Starting point is 00:18:52 i'm just saying that it's more likely she got a little bit of an upset tummy i just your definition of miracles is all over the map here and also for stuff that's contained within the film you're a mess i'm all right mate anthony is a wedding gift we have overlooked this fact week after week well not really week after week but episode after episode because we are um geez packing these watches in i don't think that you should treat a human being like that it's it seems uh it seems bad to me why they just gloss over no anthony is a wedding gift he's a human being no no no he's not the gift she doesn't get like you know unfettered unbridled access to Anthony, his services.
Starting point is 00:19:46 He's the best wedding planner in town. This we know. He's getting paid all the same because Charlotte and Runkle, as part of the gift, have offered the services of the best wedding planner who probably at a cut price rate. I think it's very generous. I think everyone's making out like a bandit here.
Starting point is 00:20:06 It's the clunky wording of it that she says that he is the wedding present from Charlotte. I'm like, the man is not a wedding present. The man is a man. He's a human being. He's a person you treat him with some damn respect. His services may be the gift. That's quite fine.
Starting point is 00:20:24 But he is a human with his own agency and rights. And hopefully love, which we see in the second film. Well, I'm glad you brought it up because at the start of the second film, there's quite a lot made about the fact that Anthony and Stanford are getting married. It's a gay wedding, guy. Yeah. getting married and uh it's a gay wedding guy yeah well obviously there's a there's a big song and dance about the uh the sexuality of the two uh you know parties involved in the wedding but more specifically i feel like all of the gals sort of uh speculating and gasbagging about uh there there being some sort of tension or history of dislike or just just you know like that they
Starting point is 00:21:06 didn't get along yeah but there's no body of evidence to suggest that at all in this film i mean maybe it's from the show except that at the stroke of midnight on new year's they have to down a big bit of alcohol before they give each other a kiss that doesn't suggest they don't like each other it did to me that's how i read it they were like oh well you're the person i'm standing next to i better get briefly fucking hammered just like i'm doing with my whiskey enough to qualify how surprised they are at their marriage i don't know i feel like it's completely it's completely overblown at the start of the second these are two people who just don't know i feel like it's completely it's completely overblown at the start of the second these are two people who just don't seem to know each other very well and slowly get to know one another in this movie i mean it would also appear and again this is probably a huge
Starting point is 00:21:56 blind spot having not seen the series that these are the only two gay men whose lives cross over in the universe of these characters. And so it's almost a marriage of convenience. Which seems fucking crazy when you think about the lives that they're leading as cosmopolitan women of New York City. Can I give you a shining light? Yeah, I'd love it. You know the bit where Carrie's trying on 600 wedding dresses? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:27 And during the shoot, there's quite a few people there. Samantha's there. Stanford is there. Charlotte is there. And there's a brief shot in addition to the photographer, who I get the sense is a real guy. Do you get that feeling that the photographer we see a few times, it's like, that guy's a person. He's a someone. He's not an actor. That's a real guy do you get that feeling that the photographer we see a few times it's like yeah
Starting point is 00:22:45 that guy's a person he's a someone he's not an actor that's a real guy uh there's like just one brief fleeting shot of a a woman and a man who i guess are playing the part of like art director and she's sort of got that look of like a pen half in her mouth sort of like thinking and then pointing, sort of directing something out. And it's just such a big offer. And it's a lovely self-contained character piece. And every time I watch the movie,
Starting point is 00:23:18 my eye gets drawn to her because I think she kind of overshoots what was required in that shot. So we get it it you're overselling this yeah but those are and those are the moments you really do wind up being drawn towards and enjoying uh those those little flashes of over over performance that aren't aren't cut down well it's quite a it's quite a glamorous movie you know uh my My shining light this week was the seat in the therapy that Steve and Miranda go to.
Starting point is 00:23:54 The therapist is also, I can't place her, but she's semi-famous. Who would place their therapist? She's in a show, huh? She's a character actor of some description, of note, but she's... She's in a big TV show. She's a character actor of some description of note. She's in a big TV show.
Starting point is 00:24:09 She's dishing out advice to Miranda and Steve, and they're sitting sort of quite uncomfortably close together. What they're sitting on is halfway between a seat and a couch. And I don't know if that's art department or if that's a therapy trick for couples therapy where it's like you sort of force closeness upon the couple so that they can confront their problems head on but it was very cunning it was very sweet i thought uh what a ridiculous fucking chair but then i also thought about the the the service of the chair and i was like well you know what i don't know who's in charge of this decision if it's a therapist or a set person but i like it you don't think that it was just staging
Starting point is 00:24:52 because you know how like when you're doing stuff for tv and film you've got to like be unnaturally close together because the camera kind of distorts the keep an eye out for it man it's a weird size it's neither a chair it's too big for a chair it's too small for a couch what do you call that a chouch fuck i don't know you've got me there mate i uh man i i can't find i can't find the the relationship theory but oh there she is her name is joanna gleason guy. Semi-famous name as well. Joanna Gleeson's a good name. She's a Tony Award winning musical theatre actress.
Starting point is 00:25:34 Let's have a look. She won the Tony for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Oh no, she was nominated in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Into the Woods. I think that's what I know her from. She won Best Actress in a Musical for Into the Woods. That's interesting. You haven't seen Into the Woods as a musical though, right?
Starting point is 00:25:56 You've just seen it as a James Corden vehicle as a film. No, I've seen the old movie version of it. I haven't seen it on the stage, nor have I seen the James Corden version, but there was an older movie made. Really? Which I think is a lot more true to the stage production. Well, anyway,
Starting point is 00:26:18 Joanna Gleeson's got a very interesting chair, and that's all I'll say about that. Very good. What do you think we recognize her from though because presumably it'd be a tv show you'd think we you know we weren't children of the theater no i don't know i'm i'm like i'm trying to fit i i don't know that there was a movie before the 2014 version i reckon you're off your chops. No, no, I'm saying what do we recognise her from, right? Because she was very familiar to both of us, but
Starting point is 00:26:50 she's in the newsroom, she was in the Wedding Planner, Blue Bloods, The Good Wife. She also appears in Love and War, several episodes of which she also directed. ER, Murphy Brown, and The Outer Limits. King of the Hill. I don't know what she's from
Starting point is 00:27:07 but what i'm trying to tell you is that there's no your your whatever version of into the woods you think you saw doesn't exist mate there's only been one production of it as a film in 2014 i might have seen maybe i've seen like a taped um performance of the stage show this it was years and years and years ago why would you have seen a taped version of the stage show and like enough to remember her from but oh i no i don't think i know i don't remember her from there i just remember into the woods i don't remember her from. I don't even know if she was in the performance I saw of it that was taped. I found the photographer, though, Guy. And?
Starting point is 00:27:50 And you'll never guess. He's a photographer. He is 75-year-old Patrick Demarchaleur. He's French. And he has shot for all the greats. Calvin Klein, Giorgio Armani, Chanel, Gap, Gianni Versace, L'Oreal. I could go on and I won't. But he's still alive, which is great.
Starting point is 00:28:20 His birthday is on the 21st of August. I'd love to hear that. Did you know he was Leo from the date or did it say so it's two days after my birthday so you know although the cut off is either the 21st or the 22nd I think
Starting point is 00:28:37 well those Leos they don't go down easy they go down swinging hey while we're on this track of looking people up i also found uh you know what's been bugging me the woman who sells samantha her dog or like adopts it out to her on the street yeah did you recognize her as well uh no i don't get anything from her. Suzanne Cryer from Two Guys and a Girl, which was the original Ryan Reynolds show, right? Yeah, Two Guys and a Girl in a Pizza Place or something.
Starting point is 00:29:15 Yeah, that's what it was called for the first couple of seasons. Then they shortened it up. She was on that. Surely she's in other stuff. She's also a Broadway performer. Oh, she's in Silicon Valley. That's what i've seen her in recently she's like she's she's a hard-ass um ceo who takes over from that weird dude it's really nice a lot of credits to um my god she's impressive to be in this exhausting mind map of you fucking piecemealing together bits of
Starting point is 00:29:43 popular culture you've come across in your 30 odd years tim one of the huge sources of conflict in this movie and one of the things i think that drives a wedge between carrie and big before their marriage is the stress and uh you know general sort of um exhaustion associated with planning a wedding uh you have had some experience with this from the inside uh from what i could tell i was obviously i'm friends with both you and zoe and i was uh free i was friends with you and sort of uh you know in pretty close proximity to you while you guys mapped out your wedding day uh and i would say that both the way you approached that time and the event itself were a roaring success so my question to you is where do you think carrie and biggie going wrong what's the cause of tension between them and who needs to do more he needs to do less and uh you know
Starting point is 00:30:37 what are some things that they could talk about to maybe uh ease the stress for next week's screening they've got mismatch expectations of what this wedding's going to be and do you know what despite the fact that carrie's doing all the work i kind of put this on her she hasn't been updating big about how it's been changing over the time he is awestruck by the fact that the guest list has ballooned out to a staggering 200 people mate and why wouldn't he be 75 yeah down from 76 not one moment before 76 trombones yes 75 wedding guests no what have you got against 76 wedding guests coming to the wedding anthony he's like um he's got a weird thing with numbers you know it's like when you're on the remote on the tv and the volume's at like 37 you're like can't
Starting point is 00:31:35 have that we're going to 40 35 maybe 36 or 38 just to get an even in there but preferably divisible by five dude i get it i am so on your level with exactly how you described your reaction to those numbers like always first option multiples or divisible by five it doesn't matter if it's slightly too loud or slightly too quiet in my mind's eye i know that i can divide that number by five and so it's all good if for whatever reason there's some other picky prick watching television with me and they say it's too loud or it's too quiet i will acquiesce by going to evens i would never ever watch a television show at 37 volume even if that even if like listening to something on a prime oh no good i even i don't know what it's like on your android or microsoft products but
Starting point is 00:32:35 when i'm using my um my volume control on my iphone or on my computer it has to be an even uh i i don't go in divisible by five on that but it's always got to be in increments of two i can't be one volume bar from the most volume the most volume or two down does apple give you a number no but they give you like it's it's quite the way they do it, it's done in like little blocks. So say there's like probably. You can tell what's kind of a half of a unit and what's a whole unit. Yeah, you've got like 16 little blocks.
Starting point is 00:33:16 And so you could either be at 16, you know, all the way down in numbers of one, it could be 16, 15, 14. But 15 is just ugly to me. It's got to be 16 or 14 that's a nightmare apple what are you guys doing it's making out of 50 help out your customer base the android doesn't have a number windows does and that would you better believe i will have my volume set to an even five uh on on the screen i'll adjust the speakers but on the system itself it's got to be a speaker a speaker is no man's land that's the wild west out there you can fucking have that
Starting point is 00:33:52 all sorts of crazy angles i don't give a fuck and sometimes as long as you've got your number situation sorted out you could point that knob at hey chuck it at nine o'clock chuck it at noon if you want to blast shit out if you're testing the speaker put it at three but as long as on whatever digital display is showing you a volume that's a factor of five you know we're going to be okay we're going to be good here it's so nice when you and i get on the same page i think we can probably circle back to what you're saying about uh carrie and big's approach to wedding planning carrie's not bringing big enough into the fold because i am genuinely curious you've got expertise you know you're a man who knows what he's talking about here uh so look i think carrie needed to get big
Starting point is 00:34:41 more informed along the way on what was happening i think Big needs to pull his fucking finger out of his ass and participate in this wedding a bit more than he is. And, yeah, that's Timbo's two cents. Do you know when I especially thought that Big needed to pull his fucking finger out of his ass? How pathetic. I was just, like, really angry at him for not getting out of the car and going to the wedding. Pull it together, mate. When he's on the phone and he's saying to Carrie, I was out front.
Starting point is 00:35:12 You know, she's like, where are you? I was out front. He can't even jilt her properly. Make the fucking team. Here's what I love about Guy Alexander Halifax Montgomery. You are still in this as a story and as a film. I love that. You're still there.
Starting point is 00:35:35 You're in it. You're still getting emotional at the Brooklyn Bridge. You're still pissed off at John. I haven't had goosebumps at the Brooklyn Bridge for three screenings. But it's just, i don't know he's sort of trying to have it both ways i'm like if you're going to jilt someone at the altar do it in cold blood do it quietly smoke screen out of there you do not get to play this thing twice you don't you don't get to be doing the jilting and then call the woman who you're jilting or man woman jilt too or a man can jilt a man you know look but just fucking have the guts to go through with it
Starting point is 00:36:12 he calls her up he says i was out front um it's more offensive to sort of semi-grovel and be like i think i can save face here believe in yourself make a decision and believe in yourself what he needs also is mates he's got no one to talk to about how nervous he's feeling he's got no no friends you know beyond carrie and the friends who are in her sphere like he's got none of his own friends have you noticed this the guy is entirely alone harry and steve are as close as he comes and they're not even his friends they're carrie's friends partners this is quite a common thing i think of men his age though you can quite easily especially if you're in a sort of high stress work environment which he is he's struggling to manage a mutual fund worth perhaps billions of dollars without basic reading and writing skills like the
Starting point is 00:37:07 man has got his work cut out from every single day he turns up at the office but when that happens and you get a bit older those social um situations sort of drift out of your life a little bit and you just don't prioritize it you like having a bit of me time you don't get that same value out of the social interactions that you did as a younger man and your friends drift away it's it's a common it's sad but it's a common thing i think of uh middle-aged men that's interesting i i just think yeah i can see what you're saying as well because then it's like if you've sort of fallen out of touch with your crew it's pretty tough to then resurface only because you've got a problem you need to talk through like fuck man tell me about big's crew who were big's boys who were who were the big boys back in the day uh the big boys you've probably got like a second string high school quarterback
Starting point is 00:38:03 who still walks around with the swagger of someone who won a won a serious game uh you've got a theater sort of lethargo someone who they used to tease about being gay in high school almost definitely and so as a reaction to that that guy went and had sex with a lot of the girls who he was doing stage shows with and could only confront his true sexuality you know 10 years down the line when reaction to that that guy went and had sex with a lot of the girls who he was doing stage shows with and could only confront his true sexuality you know 10 years down the line when he's 28 and uh he told them all and they were all very supportive but they were aware that they'd sort of alienated this guy throughout his formative years and so they carry that with them and while big would do well to keep in touch and talk more about it and you know this could have seriously
Starting point is 00:38:44 been quite a good springboard to an even closer relationship. I think that that hangs quite heavy over his head and he feels a certain amount of guilt about that. All the jokes were made and, you know, there was no malice in them, but you can't undo the past. And aside from that, a couple of twins. Some twins. undo the past and uh aside from that a couple of twins some twins some uh male female twins one of two men both pranksters fraternal or identical
Starting point is 00:39:18 identical you have just described the most dangerous element that you could have in a friend group two identical twins who love to goof fuck i cannot imagine the hijinks they would get up to what i want to ask you this tim can you imagine two identical twins who don't love to pull pranks i mean mean, you are literally, you've been custom built in God's laboratory for pranking your identical twins. The greatest prank of all time has been fucking put in a bag and given to you on entry onto God's green earth.
Starting point is 00:39:58 And you're going to spit in God's face? No, thank you. You heathen. If you're not maximizing the comedy of your own split egg situation you can get fucked and go to hell and you can hang out in the ninth the ninth level of dante's what am i trying to say dante's thing the nine levels of hell dante's inferno i'm trying to communicate yeah perhaps dante's in our connections going Dante's thing the nine levels of hell Dante's Inferno I'm trying to communicate yeah perhaps Dante's in this
Starting point is 00:40:29 our connection's going is he going to the devil he could be our connection's going to seed Tim and I think we've we've probably got out quite a lot of good stuff
Starting point is 00:40:39 I've got more notes but I'm just going to carry them over to next week or I don't know whenever the heck we next watch this thing wise um thanks so much but I'm just going to carry them over to next week or I don't know whenever the heck we next watch this thing wise thanks so much
Starting point is 00:40:48 all there's left to say is thank you very much to this episode's sponsor Bigs Boys if you're a middle aged man who's fallen out with the crew give us a ring 555 Big Boys
Starting point is 00:41:03 and you've got an on demand friend service like spotify but for friends to run a platonic uh male focused friend fixing service i don't have the bank of contacts in new york to probably get this thing off the ground like it's going to take years of research and hard work and also it's quite a sinister thing to be making friends with someone and they go ah we get along so well and for you to explain i'm only making friends with you so i can fix you up with other people who need to make friends like it's a long fucking road to walk but i would love that i think um you know my heart uh yeah i think i think big is really wanting look i'm opening up a whole nother can of conversational worms or the same i'm opening up the same can that i've already opened from a different angle i'm gonna put all
Starting point is 00:41:59 of this on the back burner we're gonna brew up some lovely worms next time yeah thank you bigs boys bigs big boys the big boys giant fucking hands sausage cocks god i love them see you next watch everyone we just have a good rhythm together you know he sort of feels me out i feel him out and we go for

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