The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Thirteen - FitzHigham
Episode Date: October 15, 2018Guy and Tim are struggling to hold on so they've brought another special guest into the fold: This week, British Comedian, multiple world record holder and Commodore of the Royal Navy, Tim FitzHigham.... Also, as part of the NZ International Comedy Festival, the boys have recorded the epsiode live in front of an audience in downtown Auckland at New Zealand's only full-time comedy club, The Classic. Enjoy. Somebody should. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Just unbelievably, even the credits are sexist.
How do you fucking make credits sexist?
How have they achieved doing that?
There's Liz. They're not saying who it is, are they?
They're not saying who's doing what. Here we are, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the
worst idea of all time live record edition. Episode 13, we'll just flick it down a little
bit. We're joined, my name is Tim Bette my name's Guy Montgomery and we're joined
by Tim Fitz
hi ladies and
gentlemen
good evening
all the way
from England
oh yes
I'm so glad
you brought me
here for this
halfway across
the world to
see this film
do you want to
see the credits
is this what
you were waiting
for
I think we
should name
some of these
people
forever
Steve Austin
really
oh wait we
know him
should have
if you look
see Dennis
there's the gym teacher
Dan Patrick
we like the gym teacher
so now
you thought
for time
international comedian
that Arnold Schwarzenegger's
son features in this film
he does
Fred Boyd
he's there look
oh there he is
Patrick Schwarzenegger
I was right
he's the guy
he's the one that doesn't
get any lines
right
okay
are we down for the credits now?
I think we're there.
We just had to double check that I'm not...
The movie's going on.
All right.
Now, for those of you in the room who don't know the concept,
if you came...
Fuck, what are you doing here?
If you came here, you must know.
Tim and I are watching Grown Ups 2 once a week for 52 weeks,
and we're reviewing it immediately afterwards.
After last week, we got in James Acaster.
He just looks shattered.
He looked genuinely shattered.
I was sleeping.
I was having a really good sleep this afternoon, and I woke up,
and I was like, oh, I was late.
I was late.
The reason this whole thing's running late is because I was sleeping.
And I tell you, the worst reason to get out of bed
is to come into the city so you can watch Grown Ups 2.
For how many times?
This is the 13th.
13th.
13th time, Tim Fitzheim.
Was it lucky?
Was it unlucky for you?
Listen.
Are they all unlucky?
Listen, I appreciate you coming in on our podcast, but we'll be asking the questions back.
I want to get your initial thoughts.
What do you think of this film, this Hollywood film that we're watching 52 times?
It's very well lit.
Isn't it?
There's definitely been
a lot of money spent on the lighting.
I think that. Now, that sounds
like an errant comment,
maybe a slightly cheap comment, but
it has been noted in previous episodes
that the thing with this movie,
the thing that'll get you is that it has all the
appearances of a good movie.
It looks slick enough.
It's shot well.
As you say, it's lit well.
The sound mixing, fine.
The stunts are very slick.
Relatively impressive.
Yep.
Quite seamless.
And yet, terrible film.
I'd just like to gauge from the people in the room,
who's seen Grown Ups 2?
Anybody?
Both of you two have? Nice. Why? who's seen, who's seen Grown Ups 2? Anybody? Both of you two have?
Yes.
Nice.
Why?
There's three,
there's three.
Actually,
this podcast kind of
inspired me to watch it.
You watched it after
we warned you not to watch the film.
Because we say that every week.
Yeah,
I know,
but it enriches the listening experience
to know what you guys are talking about.
I see.
If you can't hear him,
Mike,
the man said that
it enriches the podcast experience
by going through it.
I mean, it's already so rich,
I don't know how you could handle any more.
Hang on a minute, this is reverse marketing.
Holy shit.
What you've achieved.
What the fuck is this?
We've got an audience, baby.
What you have achieved here
is that you have become a successful marketing tool
for grown-ups too.
That man would never have
watched this
he would never
have had to spend
what is it
nearly two hours
of his life
let me ask you a question
did you pay money
to see it
no no no
thank god
and how many
episodes of the podcast
did you listen to
before you watched it
I only discovered
the podcast a few weeks ago
so maybe
six or seven
and you're like
I just have to know
well yeah
it makes it a lot easier
to get through the podcast
to listen to the podcast
you could have just
stopped listening
to the podcast
you don't need
to listen to the podcast
it's a dud mate
the whole thing's shit
no listen
we're getting off track
in record time
let's keep this puppy
on the track
Tim Fitzhiem
our international
comedian guest for this week by the track. Tim Fitzhigham, our international comedian guest this week.
By the way, if you're listening to the podcast,
the man who created the podcast just said this podcast is a dud.
Which is not, again, it's reverse marketing.
It's genius.
I don't know if anything that's happening right now is genius, Tim.
It's really quite bleak.
Today.
You ready?
Okay, let's go.
The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer.
Everybody run!
Ends here.
This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder
to buy tickets immediately.
Borderlands, now playing.
So there's a little bit of admin.
Should we do the admin first or do you want to do the admin later?
Any questions for Tim up front?
What I noticed immediately in watching it with you, Tim,
is often, like when we had James in last week,
he was sort of, I found it energising to have someone else watching
and experiencing them watching it for the first time.
You were really visibly, your body language
was very depressed. Yeah, it was painful.
The whole movie. It was like
you were one of us. You'd watched it
12 times already. You weren't even like,
I'm going to enjoy how shit
this is. You were just like, what's going on there?
And I came in so positive as well.
When I got out of bed, I was really
positive about it. I thought, this is going to be a great film.
Watching it with you guys.
We even had popcorn.
This was great.
It all had the set-up of being exciting and great.
And then it started.
Some bits were painful.
What juts out at you?
Just from memory off the top of your dome right now.
At what moments were you just... Because you did.
You were doing this.
You did the head and the hands.
I may have done that.
Was that five minutes in?
Roughly.
Yeah, I may have.
Can you remember specifically any moments which warranted that sort of reaction?
I may have hit that.
I think it was in scene one when the deer, the moose, was in the bedroom.
And I thought that was a great set up.
I thought, that's brilliant. They're waking up. They're in love. This is fantastic. And there's, that was in the bedroom. And I thought that was a great set-up. I thought, that's brilliant.
They're waking up, they're in love, this is fantastic.
And there's a moose in the bedroom, that's really funny.
It's quite a big start.
It's a big start.
It is a big start.
It's a big start.
I thought this is obviously a good thing.
This is going somewhere.
It's got all the hallmarks.
They've clearly borrowed it from Hangover, whatever it is, with the tiger.
It's that kind of a joke
and then the moose
the deer is just there to wee on everyone
oh yeah
and it's an early set up
for the film in that something will happen
and you'll think right this must mean something
it's going somewhere, it's great
nothing means anything in the film
and then they manage to scare the moose with
dirty laundry
I don't know if that makes any sense I mean anything in that film. And then they managed to scare the moose with dirty laundry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know if that makes any sense.
I mean,
but it's one of
the first things
that made me wonder
if things were
going to make sense.
I also question
whether a deer
could go downstairs.
I do wonder that too.
I wonder that.
You can't,
what you've got to,
because when you're
watching it,
this is,
because I have this
problem with Tim each week
when you nitpick and you go, this is ridiculous,
how can this be in the movie?
But if you extrapolate across the whole,
you can say that about everything.
We want to make an edit where we take out all the superfluous bits,
and you probably get like a trailer.
Yeah.
I'm going to break it to you, Tim, I'm not sure that was a real deer.
Are you questioning the veracity of that mighty beast?
I think elements of that deer were CGI.
Well, I think you're right.
Someone spent money CGI-ing a deer.
It's the incredible thing, Tim.
For that gag.
Like, and this is why I...
How much money does it cost to CGI a deer?
It seems like someone...
Like, someone here must work at Weta.
We're in New Zealand.
So someone must know how much money you'd have to spend
to get that deer on its...
Deer can't go on their hind legs.
Can deer go on their hind legs?
I don't know.
Hind legs, clearly a very good gag.
But the point is...
OK, not for everyone.
But my point is that it doesn't look plausible,
and the deer's...
No, but this is what I'm talking about.
And how much wee is there in a deer?
And how does it stop and start the weeing so much?
I know
Enough to piss on a family
I mean this is the thing though
Is that you get so obsessed with
Speculating over this detail
This shitty little detail in the film
You can do that to every single moment
To see
We've now been talking for five minutes
About the deer
The deer is the first 30 second gag of the film
Of an hour 40 minute film
But then as it turns out, a vitally important character.
It bookends the whole thing, doesn't it?
The whole thing.
Listen.
You go.
If I may.
Tim, we introduced a new segment with James Acaster,
which I would love to get you to do,
and that is, look, you're an international performer,
you're a fabulous comedian, you can improvise.
Don't build it up. You can improvise.
Here's the bit.
Yeah?
Guy Montgomery and myself are studio executives.
Yeah.
And you've got to pitch this movie to us to get it made.
And preface it with your preface that you do.
Guess what, mate?
Tough times.
Tough times.
The global financial crisis has hit us hard.
Piracy's on the rise.
We're struggling to really find a profitable gold film that's going to just put us head and shoulders above the rest.
We need critical acclaim. We need fantastic box office performance.
What's your idea, Tim Fitzsimons?
Okay. So firstly, thank you for seeing me at such short notice.
I know how busy you must be with your studios.
You know how...
You know how Heineken...
You know how Heineken doesn't really taste like anything?
And it's kind of quite a bland lager.
It's my favourite beer. I'm glad you brought it up.
With no real ups and downs
and highs
it's just
it's just
and you can
you can literally sell it
anywhere in the world
and
and people will buy it
oh yeah
I've got an idea
that if you could take Heineken
and make it into a movie
that's what I'm pitching to you.
That's what I'm saying.
Kynokin, the movie. The bones of your
proposal are really exciting to
us here, Tim. But I mean,
what I'm wondering is how... Oh, and it includes
a weeing deer.
Well, look, I'm on board. I'll sign the check
right now. I'm not going to lie, that's a sweetener.
You've got your gun hoe with the pen there.
It's got coffee and cock. What I'm wondering is how are not going to lie, that's a sweetener. You've got your gun hoe with the pen there. See, this is Guy. It's got coffee and cock.
I mean, what I'm wondering is
how are you going to transfer those qualities
of Heineken, the beer, and all of the great
market value that's obviously built up over the years.
How are you going to do that in a new movie?
Well, just like Heineken, I'm going to
take all the right ingredients
and somehow mess it up.
That's what I'm going to do with that.
I'm going to take all the great cast members
that they appear to have somehow,
and I think it's got to be blackmail in some cases,
have got into this.
So you're telling me you're going to blackmail celebrities
into making the Heineken equivalent of movies?
Yes, that's what I'm saying.
I'm on board.
Okay, and that's how this gets made.
I know, right I'm on board. Okay. And that's how this gets made. I know, right?
Amazing.
I don't...
Wow.
I mean, can we go into some plot points
that you think will be a selling point for the film?
I think definitely a drugged bus driver
for a children's bus.
I think that's a winner.
I think if you could take...
It's like they've taken comedy
and thought it wasn't good enough.
And so had to put something else on top of comedy.
Do you mean the gag they've thought of?
Or comedy as a concept?
As an entire concept.
So in there, there are moments where you go
please stop now
that's a great gag
don't do anything
don't do that
yeah you're right
because there's some
accidentally hilarious
moments in the film
there's bound to be
you've got some of the
best performers in the
world in a film
well some of the
best performers in the
world in a film
there's bound to be
some bits of gold
in there
because those people
are funny people
they slip through the
net
it does seem like they have this quite naturally leads into to the top three
uh which is another new feature where we sort of pick out a list of top three moments in the film
so yeah last week it was the top three physical gags was it stunts stunts now this week what we
wanted from you tim are the top your top three belly laughs. Because I saw a few creeped out of your bloody gullet there, mate.
No, that's definitely true.
I don't...
I really...
No, in descending order.
Wow.
I haven't really ordered them.
Make it up.
It doesn't matter.
I haven't really thought them through in the linear way.
I liked the PE teacher.
It just made me laugh when he went,
anyone want to see me climb a rope?
Who wants to watch me climb a rope?
I don't know if you guys have seen the movie.
That's dead on.
That's exactly how he sounds.
I like that.
But then they had to mess it up
with a wacky camera angle.
Yeah.
So it's like,
so that was half a bellied off. it up with a wacky camera angle. Yeah. So it's like argh. So it was
that was half a bellied off. I've got to
knock half off for the wacky
camera angle.
And then
who's the guy with the
son who is... Bubdy.
Special. Oh, Kevin James.
Kevin James. Yeah. Kevin James
when he said
when his son's eating ice cream,
and he just doesn't even look at him and goes,
that's butter, son.
That's a funny laugh.
That's a funny line.
And we can say this because we know the script off by heart.
Now, Bean says, this is the best vanilla pudding I've ever tasted.
And Kevin James says, that's not pudding, that's butter, son.
Did you not, because I've watched that.
A lot?
Yeah, a couple of times.
Did you not think that was irresponsible parenting by Kevin James?
Do you not think you shouldn't have your five-year-old boy
just hoeing into a tub of butter?
I'll be honest, a lot of this film is not sending out very good messages.
I mean, the fact they force feed alcohol to a dog.
I'm glad you noticed that.
Isn't it great?
There's a lot of bad messages there.
You can easily skip over that shot,
and I think I did on my first couple of watches,
but yeah.
Because your mind can't believe what it's seeing.
Yeah, it's cognitive dissonance.
It's actually a callback, that,
because the lady who's doing the bear bong to the dog,
because they just needlessly introduce people
and bring them back to try and send,
like, lend some sense of
callbacks. I don't know.
But she was the mum at Kmart
yelling at her kids on the way into Kmart.
Oh, right. I wasn't four kids.
I didn't get that.
And you wouldn't have.
Honestly, it was about six or seven in when I was four.
I'm like fucking
viewing it on a different plane, bro.
No, you really are now
it's really true
yeah so we've got
one and a half
barely last
and then the third one
came almost immediately
after that scene
where they said
that the costume party
would be
1980s themed
costume party
and the genius son
kind of goes
wow
the 80s
that's 70 years ago
and then Kevin James
just drops his fork
and that's funny
no fuck it
you look incredulous
but I'm with you on that
that made me laugh
actually
so what made me laugh
most in this movie
was silence
that's what I'm saying
I appreciate the end point there
but that's not funny man
here's the fun fact about
it's the way the kid's going hey and then he's going bang there's something about dropping there, but that's not funny, man. Here's the fun fact about... It's the way the kid's going, hey, and then he's going, bang.
There's something about dropping cutlery that's funny.
Keep it.
Today.
You ready?
Okay, let's go.
The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer...
Everybody run!
...ends here.
This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately.
Borderlands. Now playing.
Kevin James' son in this film is actually played by two boys who are twins.
Identical twins.
Oh, wow.
Some of the Olsen twins.
Oh, yeah, because that means they can do it cheaper.
Yeah, exactly.
And they can kind of skirt around labour laws.
Oh, wow.
Allegedly. Do you around labour laws. Oh, wow. Allegedly.
Do you have labour laws here?
I floated to Guy recently that we should try and get to a point
where we can distinguish which kid is which in which scene.
Oh, that's good.
Try and pick out the twins.
Well, actually, I think they have got slightly different...
Now you say it, I did notice they do have slightly different teeth.
Oh.
So I think you really could nail that.
Are you fucking with us?
No, I think you could.
Are you just going to make us look at this kid's teeth for the next 40 weeks?
We've got to pay attention to something.
I reckon the teeth could be the thing that might give it away.
Okay, well, I mean, that's technically...
It's two and a half belly laughs, but we'll round it up.
Swedish rounding and whatnot.
I mean, you also...
During the movie, you had some sort of epiphany
where it occurred to you that this follows
some sort of traditional British filmmaking framework.
Well, no, yeah.
I think it's, there was a thing in Britain called the carry-on films,
and they were brilliant to start with.
They are amazing films.
Some of the first carry-on films are some of the best films ever made.
What is a carry-on film?
They were all called carry-on something, something, something.
So it was like carry-on up the K were all called carry-on something, something, something. So it was like,
carry-on up the Khyber,
carry-on on the buses.
And as in a carry-on,
as in a right,
proper carry-on.
As in a hilarious situation
that spins out of control
and weaves itself
into a conveniently
length film.
Fast.
And it's not quite a fast,
but it was very postcard,
kind of cartoony-style humour.
And it had...
The cast list was stellar.
I mean, everybody that we knew and loved
from the immediately post-war comedy period
was in those films.
People like Kenneth Williams.
I think Sergeant Bilko was in one.
Phil Silvers was in one.
I know all these people.
Kenneth...
Exactly. But it was a huge cast list.
And yet, some of the later films were not great.
Grown-ups, Tuzian.
They were.
And I think that's the thing.
They've clearly got here...
I mean, you have to say Adam...
What's his name?
Sandler.
Adam Sandler, yeah.
Sandler is better.
He's a bit of a genius.
He's a genius because what he's worked out is essentially a way of spending time with what are clearly his mates.
Yeah.
And being paid an enormous amount of money.
Correct.
To basically just sit around and it's almost like he's come up with a Saturday Night Live pension scheme.
And that's it.
That's what it is.
That's amazing.
What is incredible is that James Acaster last week
had exactly the same takeaway.
He's like, because we're going, this is terrible.
I mean, do you think they're having fun on set?
And he's going, fucking A, they're having fun on set.
They're making a shit product they don't care about.
They're just hanging out with their mates,
getting paid heaps of cash.
Absolutely.
And I think also you can tell that
because some of the lines, they don't even say them properly.
So you can't actually even...
I'm straining and going, what was that line?
What did he actually say?
And the guy's going...
And the director, Dennis Dugan, who we know as the doctor
in the hospital scene, is going, we need to take that again.
And Chris Rock's going, fuck that.
I am not here to do retakes.
I'm here to get paid and leave.
And actually, the doctor's actually quite a good actor.
I thought he was pretty good.
He's actually playing it straight.
Now, Tim Batt, I'd just like to check in with you.
Obviously, it's a different vibe this week.
We watched it on a computer in a room,
and there's an audience for the podcast.
Where are you at?
What's your mental state?
How are you feeling about the whole she shebang horrible really bad i thought that
this and it's been uh how many days since we did it will be eight or nine yeah yeah it's been a few
um did you miss it well generally speaking tim what happens is that if we do it uh outside of
the seven day regular rotate i i have a new zest for the film. That
did not come through today at all. And I wasn't reinvigorated by a guest or the live audience,
which thank you very much, all of you, for coming. But you've done me no good. I feel
depressed. I feel nervous again. I feel very worried about the rest of the watches.
We've got 40 to go.
Do you think you're going to have to just keep upping the stakes?
Are you essentially going to have to watch the film by the end
just to get through it?
Are you going to have to do that ascent from the Sky Tower
while you're watching the film just to kind of spice it up a bit
and get some kind of...
Well, some ideas have been postulated around certain chemical enhancements
of the watches of the films,
which I don't think we'll ever, maybe some of the fun of the podcast will be we'll never explicitly say what we're on,
but it's up to you to guess what we've done before we've watched it this week.
Well, I do think we generally occasionally are approaching a level of delirium
where it will be very difficult to tell if we are on drugs or we're,
I mean, it's a weird little three-hour mental bubble that we do go into each week where you're not really engaging with the real world or society at large and i
mean it's it's really nice to have people like you come into and and dip your toe in the in the
grown-ups to pull break up speak it's painful monotony yeah i mean it the the material is
essential it's it's fat children.
That seems to be a big, like, inspiration for a lot of the gags.
Well, part of the jokes, I think, would be a more fear.
Well, yeah.
Push-up bras?
Push-up bras appear to be a big theme.
Emotions.
And people with bald heads.
So it's just like, those are the three go-to.
It's like, hang on a minute.
Have we done a joke about one of these three,
or vomit or wee, as a side thing in the last five?
No, we've got to get one in.
That's the bottom line.
Have we not done enough of those?
It's kind of a weird, it's a weird go-to thing, isn't it?
Well, it's a weird, the tone of the movie is weird
because it's not pitched at adults. It's not pitched at-to thing, isn't it? The tone of the movie is weird because it's not pitched
at adults.
Who are they making this movie for?
I think this movie, and I was thinking
about this as I was watching it, I think
this movie is actually
intended to be a family movie.
I think this is a movie
that is intended
for parents to be able to
take their kids to and for both
of them to laugh. So I think that's
the intention. That's the only way
that I can... They've missed on
both targets.
They have attempted to shoot down the middle and
you two guys would be the middle and not
even you're laughing. So they've missed
two targets, not even hit the thing in the middle.
If you're aiming for the bullseye,
Monty's on one side,
I'm on the other of the peripheral of the bullseye target.
And the arrow has gone sideways.
Yeah.
I wonder actually if the whole success of this movie
is that there are a lot more of these podcasts out there.
And basically a whole like 52 million people
are making a podcast about Grown Ups 2,
and that's how it's getting the viewing figures.
I mean, as a concept for a podcast, where do you see this going for us?
Because when you're watching it with us, you can see our body language,
you can see how we're acting.
Oh, I see it going into meds.
I see it, you know, hardcore doctors being involved in this by the end.
I can see we're only on, I say only, you're on 13 and you've got
to get to 52. 39 to go.
Exactly. Not that anyone's counting.
As a joke in the film
would be, that's only 70 to go.
He's got the format.
That's the kind of,
I mean, I just see it
by the end is going to be a real,
it's going to be a tearjerker.
Monty, let me ask you directly.
How's your mental well-being and fitness at this juncture?
I mean, I'm usually pretty upbeat.
It's like it's just quite a mean-spirited laugh.
They can't see your eyes on the podcast.
I'm just going to describe the dishevelled man
sitting next to me going,
I'm usually quite upbeat.
And I want you all to imagine a man who,
if he was slumped, like, lying down
next to a bottle shop,
would not look out of place.
That's how upbeat and...
You're not upbeat with those guys, though?
They're fucking getting it done.
Look.
Upbeat, lying down.
I just, I just, it's, well, I said sort of,
at the start I said with 39 to go, there's 39 more to go.
And that was sort of to be like, only 39 to go.
But that number's so much bigger than the number of times we've watched it.
You've done a Tim.
I've done a Tim bat.
Because I was like, you've got these benchmarks.
You get through 10 or 11 and you go,
well, we're a fifth of the way there.
And that's how I was looking at it.
I was like, a fifth of the way there?
That's so far along.
But that means that we've got four-fifths of it to go.
Correct, yeah.
That is a much bigger number, Tim.
It is.
Four times, in fact, if you do the math. Correct, yeah. That is a much bigger number, Tim. It is. Four times, in fact,
if you do the math.
And, I mean...
Also, how many hours of your life
are you going to spend on that?
Oh, this is an interesting statistic,
Well, three times 52,
pretty much, is the situation.
Why?
Oh, because...
It's three hours,
it's an hour 40,
plus the podcast,
and then you have to, I mean,
I get to just walk out
after we record.
Tim has to go home and, like...
Slap it up on an internet somewhere. Like, play all this stuff with a computer that I don't know how to just walk out after we record. To me, it's to go home and, like... Slap it up on it.
Like, play all this stuff with a computer that I don't know how to do.
On an internet somewhere.
Nice.
I think there's one...
It was difficult...
Where's the heart of this film?
You guys have seen it loads.
Oh, I can tell you.
Okay.
Because I know what you mean by that,
which is kind of the spiritual heart of it,
but there's a specific moment in the film where there is
oh maybe there's two
when Chris Rock is talking to his son
saying don't go and kill yourself because you're precious
cargo before he takes his driver's license
if you kill yourself I'll have to kill you
there was a joke in the movie I had for the first
time today
which is unbelievable at this stage
fuck what is the other one
I don't even know why that is the heart of the movie.
I don't know what the fuck
you're talking about.
Oh, I know what it is.
It's Higgins.
It's where Higgins
is talking to his son
and trying to rekindle
some sort of relationship
and it's a genuine
moment of heart.
But then the third one
I'd argue is...
Monty's taking a shit.
No, I just wonder
is it the kicker
when the little kid...
So all three
parent-child relationships
at the moment.
I don't count that one.
Well, it's right...
Because the one moment you get behind
the kid being the kicker,
he squashes him.
There's no,
there's no heart,
that's not a heart of the film, Tim.
That's just where they try,
as an attempt at emotional resonance.
That's not the heart.
But I think they almost pull it off.
No.
So it's more like three attempts
at cynical emotional blackmail.
Yes.
Is that what you're,
that's a're... Absolutely.
That's a completely correct way.
There's no purpose.
There's nothing redeeming.
It's just a series of failed jokes.
And when one joke fails for long enough,
they just do a hard cut to another set up for another failed joke.
And it goes on and on.
And occasionally they'll reference one of the failed jokes from before
and it just keeps going until an hour and 41 minutes of your life's gone away.
Okay.
And Adam Sandler does a burp snart before he's going to fuck his pregnant wife.
Let me stop you there, Monty.
Let me, let's pull this aeroplane up.
Let's grab the wheel, let's grab the old sticks and pull it up,
because it's time.
It's time for the patented worst idea of all time, shining light.
Just in fairness, they don't always hard cut on the jokes.
It's that one that
Doesn't go
They cross dissolve
It's definitely one
That goes nowhere at all
And they just
Cross dissolve it
In a desperate bid
To like go
I
It's just
The editor going
I
The maniacal
Laughter of Steve Buscemi
Yeah yeah
Cross dissolves
Into another scene
Because they're like
Well there's nothing here
Hey
Hey
That is one of the
fun ways to watch
the film
is imagining the
editor in the
booth going
what I mean
come on guys
have I got all the
reels
isn't this the
dailies
are these all the
ultimate takes
the editing
again the editing
is brilliant
just like the
lighting
brilliant
brilliant
there's that one
there's that one
moment where the girls meant the little daughters meant to cry hold There's that one moment where the little daughter's meant to cry.
Hold that thought for one moment, because I want to preface this with the shining light.
So this is the part of the podcast where we say a genuine moment of the film where we enjoy it.
I should have said that.
A part of the movie which we genuinely enjoy.
I'm sure I will try.
I'm sure I will try. I'm sure I'll try.
There's the moment...
The reason I think the editing is so good, I don't know if you noticed,
but when the girl is meant to cry
because she's lost her...
Mr. Gigglesworth? The monkey
to the deer, this
doesn't make sense, even when I'm saying
it.
When she's meant to cry, she clearly can't cry as an actress.
And there's a quick cut.
Hands off Becky Fader, mate.
Have you noticed that?
She is a torture force in this film.
And then they cut immediately.
They literally go, it clearly doesn't pan out for her in the crying stage.
I can't believe you because I think she's probably the finest actor in the film.
Exactly.
That's my point. There we go. probably the finest actor in the film. Exactly. That's my pick.
There we go.
You've hit it on the head.
Okay, so now...
The Shining Light.
The Shining Light.
The Shining Light.
The Shining...
Who wants to go first?
I wrote it down, but I've sweated it off,
and now I can't remember what it was.
The Shining Light.
Shit, what does it say?
I wrote it on my hand.
I shouldn't have done that.
It's... My Shining Light, it wasn't really to do with the movie, it just changed the viewing, it say? I wrote it on my hand. I shouldn't have done that.
My shining light, it wasn't really to do with the movie, it just changed
the viewing, was finding out that Arnold
Schwarzenegger's son plays one of the frat
boys and is
one of the worst actors in the world.
I mean,
it would be interesting to research and see,
did he go to a frat, whatever that is,
and if so, is he
essentially just being asked to play himself
and is clearly unable to do
that? That would be what I'd like
to know. Was he the progeny of
Schwarzenegger with the house?
No, no, it's not the
maid. It's the actual wife.
You think Schwarzenegger would give his love
child his very distinguishable
surname? Yes, A and B.
It's like Higgins, though.
It's like he's trying to make it up to him.
Publicise him in a film.
That seems a bit tactless to his wife.
I mean, no longer, maybe, I don't know.
Are they, who can say?
This thing's going off the rails.
Shining light for you, Tim.
Shining, shining light.
Struggling.
Shining light.
He's struggling.
Oh, I know know I've got it
It was that moment where the policeman
Does a
Starsky and Hutch jump across the bonnet of the car
And caves the bonnet of the car
That's got to be one of your belly laughs
You were losing it
That's funny
That made me laugh
Genuinely destroying the bonnet of the car
The problem they've thing with that,
the problem they've got with that policeman character,
who is, I think he's got some of the best moments,
is that all of the jokes that he does
have been done in Police Academy by Hightower.
It's the same jokes.
It's exactly the same jokes.
But at the end of that, Shaq...
Big tall policeman, same thing.
Tim, you're shining light, please.
Oh, God.
I've been trying to think of one.
Come on, just figure out what's on your hand.
Oh, I can't.
That's illegible.
I can't read out that at all.
Awkward?
Yeah.
Is that what this is?
Did it say awkward?
Well, that word's just.
Just?
And I think that's dead.
This is a good listening experience, this part.
Yeah.
I'm going to go with...
I quite like the bit where they break
and the bus driver smashes into the back of the bus.
They killed Nick.
It's like, you've killed a man.
That's quite funny.
No, they haven't killed him.
They have definitely killed him.
What I'm noticing...
He's heavily medicated.
In all of your moments,
it's a physical moment that doesn't involve dialogue,
almost exclusively.
No, as I said to you,
the silence is the best bit in this film.
You know, I'm going to stand by that.
My shining light today is part of that monstrous scene
that takes place inside of a Kmart where...
There's a lot of Kmart, by the way.
Oh, my goodness, is there what?
We have delved into this in previous episodes.
They definitely paid for a bit of the movie.
Which I think you actually initially brought up
a couple of episodes ago, Monty,
where Adam Sandler comes up to Higgins and says...
Hey, crocodile dumb D, how'd it go with the kid?
That's the line.
That is the fucking line.
You know it.
And it's a fine and brief and rare moment
of talented acting by Adam Sandler in this film.
That's a gem buried amongst
other stuff.
Because there's an entire bit
where he goes,
Kmart, Kmart, Kmart, Kmart.
Yeah, yeah.
Kmart, Kmart.
They get paid by the mention.
It's like, yeah,
I think,
I don't know if we said this
in a previous podcast,
but it's like
how Shortland Street
has to use a certain amount
of te reo Māori
to get funding
from New Zealand.
Is that right?
I think that's right.
And I think that growing-ups, too,
had to mention K-Mart a certain amount of times.
Same sort of thing.
It's appalling.
How are we going for time?
No, it's done.
We're done here.
The only thing I could think of,
the only thing I wanted to finish my set,
or not finish my set,
but the one thing I did want to say
is that at the end,
where there's that massive fight scene going on
and the band just carry on playing. The Jaguars band.
They carry on playing. Chris Rock's daughter
singing. The only thing I could think
of was
this is like being on the
Titanic.
This is how they must
have felt as they saw the iceberg
hoving into view. Yes.
And like the people were playing and I
felt like the three of us
Were on the deck
Of the Titanic
Hurtling towards
The end of something
Terrible
And that was my only
Sort of feeling about that
What a journey
What a fitting metaphor
To wrap up the episode
Tim thank you so much
Tim for time ladies and gentlemen
Thank you
Bloody brilliant
So much more
don't play it
into the mic
you're fucking
going to
peak it out
you can see
the sound waves
there I really
fucked that up
guys thank you
very much for
listening as
always unless
you're off your
bloody chops don't
watch the film
don't watch the
movie
follow us on
Facebook at the
worst idea of all
time we'll be back
next week for our
14th viewing
the end that's us Facebook at the worst idea of all time. We'll be back next week for our 14th viewing.
The end.
That's us.
Tim, you want to say anything while you're here?
Yeah, I quite like the bit where the... Please.
Where the hormonal woman threw the beer keg in the guy's head.
That's quite funny.
There you go.
And on that note, thank you for listening.
Catch you next week. This has been
a live record of the worst idea of all time.
Thank you, good night. Sorry if your precious time slips away.
Live and fall back.
Today.
You ready?
Okay, let's go.
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