The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Thirty Nine - Boners
Episode Date: April 13, 2017Your fav fuccboiz are joined by sister podcast Boners Of The Heart's Rose Matafeo and Alice Snedden for a one-off Little Empire extravaganza taped live in Melbourne, Australia. Hosted on Acast. See ...acast.com/privacy for more information.
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This is a Little Empire podcast. Visit us at littleempirepodcast.com and on Instagram at littleempirepodcasts.
Are you going to play that dastardly intro again?
Try, try, try, try, try, try, try.
Ow!
This movie's still fine.
This is a cully bastard.
One of them dies, that guy's a squirrel.
One of them's a hothead, his name is Jay.
One of them looks like Johnny Depp, and his name is Johnny Depp.
Classic Maximum Joseph.
Oh, wee!
Ah!
You forget that films are supposed to have a point.
Hello, and welcome to the worst boner of all time live event.
Filmed in front of a live studio audience in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.
I'm Tim Batt. I'm Guy Montgomery.
I'm Rosemary Fair.
I'm Alice Sneddon.
And together we'll be talking for
roughly an hour about
the cinematic masterstroke that was
directed by Maximum Joseph, written
by Maximum Joseph and Megan Oppenheimer
called Where Are Your Friends? Are you excited?
Oh yeah!
There's so many fucking people in the room.
And you guys have gotten super fast.
What a turnaround.
Did you get through our high-tech, high-security door guy?
The Burley Tom who just waved anyone with an iPhone
or a piece of paper through?
Burley is his new name,
and he's done such a service by helping out today
that I don't think you should be reading on him.
I think he was agonising over where to wear stubbies,
and I think they really sort of put that muscle impact in.
I think it was great.
Shout out to Tom.
Thank you, Burley.
Shout out to Tom.
Also, I just wanted to get a sentence in.
All right, fair enough.
Your time will come.
I just wanted to feel comfortable.
I like slower because I think that's early.
I'd put it up real,
what I like is get it
real nice up near my mouth.
Make sure everyone
can hear me.
A little hair on that.
Guys,
a little context
for what's just happened.
A couple hours ago
everyone was sitting down
in a hotel room
on Ligon Street.
That's right.
Beautiful hotel room
that Tim's staying in.
Yeah, lovely.
I don't want to
steal the ownership of the room over it but it was my hotel room that Tim's staying in. Yeah, lovely. I didn't want to steal the ownership of the room over it,
but it was my hotel room that we watched it in on my tablet,
and we're all kind of...
It's a real testament to the quality of the hotel.
Yeah.
Should we give out the address?
Yeah, fuck it.
66 Ligon Street.
What room?
The 116.
It's the Quality Comfort Inn.
And I'll tell you what, names sometimes can be deceiving.
It's right across from like a function room.
And there have been so many functions in that room, like a 70th birthday.
Yeah, I'm not, Rose isn't talking about the hotel.
She's talking about my room in the hotel.
Yeah, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's across the corridor from an events room.
Who would have their 70th birthday?
When I first got in there,
I felt like I was in The Walking Dead
because it was nothing but old people seeing the Flower
and Garden show in Melbourne and they're
just cramming up all the
stairways. It was a nightmare.
Sorry.
I went to that show. I just wanted to
see those people in their natural environment.
They are exactly the same.
A lot of
confused
middle-aged women
and disgruntled
middle-aged men
just walking around
together.
Was it like
that Android game
Plants vs. Zombies
in real life?
It was a lot like
the game from Android
that I've definitely played
Plants vs. Zombies.
Fuck Android.
I want to introduce
the people
who we're joined by
who aren't normally
on our podcast. Fuck Android. Fuck Android, introduce the people who we join by who aren't normally on our podcast.
Fuck Android.
Fuck Android, bro.
Guy and I have watched the film today for the 39th time,
which is special.
It's our big 39th anniversary.
We do a big one every year.
We've got two special guests joining us from their own podcast,
legendary, fantastic podcast, Boners of the Heart.
Alice Neddon and Rose Metafayo are joining us today.
Do you even know who we are?
Yeah.
Who knows what Boners of the Heart is?
Oh, great.
This reminds me of the Hercules and Xena crossover episode.
I fucking love that episode.
Are we Hercules or Xena?
Shotgun Hercules.
You're Hercules, I'm Xena.
And you guys are Michael Wess.
We're gladiators in the background.
But like
quite far out of focus because we're too
lean to be really of the time.
But you're both making a scene
trying to get in shot.
Angling around.
This is the second time that Alice has watched the movie
with us in actual fact
and the first time for Rose
I want to kick off with Rose
do you want my sweater?
no no no I was shivering because it was the first time
I was like
very convincing bit
I was excited I was excited to watch it for the bit. I was excited.
I was excited to watch it for the first time.
I was genuinely excited.
Rose, you're a real film buff.
Not everyone knows that about you.
Oh, really?
You bloody, you can't get enough of the celluloid, the cinema.
I was just excited, you know, the opening credits were playing,
the studios, you know, things were playing.
Oh, the little Indians?
I'm not alright
I had pseudo-epidurine
while I watched this
just a heads up
I'm very sick
so maybe that
added to the
enjoyment of it
but I was looking
forward to it
I mean that
excitement dissipated
very quickly
but
truly quickly
it's very positive
but we're talking
in the past tense
so take us through
not at all
I don't mean to
mansplain the tense.
You're mansplaining time
to me.
The concept of time. Well, it needed to be
explained.
I definitely wasn't going to step up. Back me up.
No, fuck you. I'm not on my own.
We're all playing for the same team here.
I hope.
Take us through the journey of the first time of watching this film.
It was, okay, so.
When you were Rose Medefayo.
First up.
I mean, you guys were all just kind of dead behind the eyes,
and I was genuinely excited.
But, I mean, what do you mean?
You want my review of the film?
So you told us that you were very excited going in.
You saw that.
Yeah, we got all scooched up
on the bed
all four of us
piled around the tablet
piled around a tablet
I know
it was quite depressing
the worst thing ever
the worst
you don't want to watch
any movie on a tablet
the TV in my room
doesn't have HDMI
it's the strangest thing
it's a JVC
with one of those
curved screens
on the front.
Very odd.
It also doesn't have a microwave, which
is like, how much does that cost? More than
that!
The bathroom and the kitchenette
are adjoined with no
divider. It's so weird.
I hated it, except for the
fact that you can make yourself a cup of
tea while you go for a pee.
You can do that anyway anyway you can take a shit
while looking at a toaster
which is very disconcerting
I loved it
you put a lot of
instant noodles
for your stay
that you haven't eaten
yeah
did you anticipate
there would be a microwave
and there wasn't
yeah
you should have brought
them all the way
you're an adult
eat some fucking
proper food
well I have
that's why I've still
got them there.
This isn't why I brought you guys into the hotel room.
Judge my diet.
I'm sorry.
So we're in there.
We're Rosemade.
Let me set the scene.
We're Rosemadefeo.
Yeah.
We're watching We Are Your Friends for the first time.
We're excited.
And then.
A pop to pseudo.
I ordered a lamb kebab on Uber Eats.
It was delicious. I mean, I can't really remember much of the film
to be fair
it's an awful
awful, truly awful
film, right?
I like films and I like bad films
but this is, and I've been on
I've seen both, I mean I've been on
Worst Idea of It, previously
the last time we watched
Sex and the City
The first season
I was very optimistic
Yes
But that was only because
I watched half of Grown Ups 2
Sex and the City
was during Edinburgh
where I literally
lost my fucking mind
because of that film
But this one
is in a weird middle ground
between being
like quite camp enough
to be enjoyable
and good enough
to be good
It's right in the middle there.
I would contend the problem is that those movies were
if not aggressively bad
certainly aggressively bad.
I didn't really have anything else up my sleeve.
They celebrated it.
Those two movies they celebrated their shittiness.
And then this is
the issue with watching this movie over and over
or even for the first time as it turns out
is it's earnest.
And you can tell it wants to be good.
And the fact that it's Mr. Mark makes it, it's not fun to taunt in the same way.
You know, it's like telling someone their baby's ugly instead of.
That's fine.
But the thing is, some babies are ugly.
Yeah.
And they need to be told.
Not any babies walking around with a false sense of confidence.
That's how they behave.
I'm having a weird flashback to being on stage and real baked
and talking about baby something.
Was that on this podcast?
You are asking the wrong guy, man.
But yeah, in conclusion, I think for me, first time watch,
it was hard to watch a film about a group of people,
a group of men who have like the archetype of men.
Oh, gender card, here we go.
No, no, no.
The archetype of men who have rejected me in my late teens and early thirties.
Like how was I rejected by those guys?
Like it was quite triggering for me.
It was quite triggering.
It was emotional.
During a big party scene, you became very sad and said,
I can't watch this because I know if I was at that party,
everyone would hate me.
You said they would hate me if I gave them the chance.
I think it was the second bit
It was like
heart-wrenching
what you said
It was just a hell on earth
basically
Yeah, those parties are terrible
They're terrible
They're so bad
Alice, what
This is the second time
that you've seen the film
Hey, what's that second watch like?
I've forgotten
It's actually better
than the first, I'd say
Is that because you felt
like a Sherpa
guiding the little am rose along the...
Which is so bold of me, considering how many more times you guys have watched it.
No, I enjoyed it, mostly because I knew what was coming.
Yeah.
And, boy, it really lived up to its promise.
You knew Screw was going to die.
I did.
First time I watched it, I knew he was going to die.
Spoiler.
That's right.
Are you spoiling your previous episode of the podcast?
Yeah, definitely.
Don't listen to this if you haven't listened to that one before.
Imagine if we tried to do a podcast where we were watching a movie 52 times
and not doing spoilers in the review.
That'd be tricky.
But Rose, I was watching your face.
The room set up real weirdly where there's kind of a fuck mirror in front in the review. That'd be tricky. But Rose, I was watching your face. The room set up real weirdly where there's like kind of a fuck mirror in front of the bed.
That's crap.
The way that we had it configured is like you could look at the tablet,
or if you look behind that, it was the mirror looking at everyone else looking at the tablet.
And I was watching Rose's face when Squirrel died, and it was magic.
And then real quietly, I just said, I'm Squirrel.
That's true.
You definitely are.
And I'm the one who sold you the drugs.
You totally are.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Fuck, bro.
But yeah, I mean, the final scene was pretty amazing.
Okay, that scene we were talking about,
there's no any kind of filmmaking put into it
to make that a climactic scene.
It's like it happens by accident.
It was the last day of shooting.
Yeah, yeah.
Or it was like a very bold choice by that actor,
like an improv choice.
They're like, he's supposed to wake up.
And he just doesn't wake up.
And they're like, we have to keep this in the movie.
As with all movies, they're shot chronologically.
And so he realised two thirds of the way
and he's like,
this is going to be a bomb.
There is a darker possibility.
Has anyone seen him
in anything since?
None of them
are that good at acting.
Imagine.
We just have to work with it.
We have to work with it.
Keep rolling.
We're running really late.
But yeah,
and then there's a weird thing
Because Squirrel's death
Is supposed to be a big thing
And then it makes
The final scene
Like
It's quite actually
Quite horribly sad
Because it is basically
The story of a young man
Who can't deal
With grief properly
You know what I mean
There's one interpretation
It's a film about
A lot of things
It's a film about
Four men who don't know
How to react
Or interact with women properly
Yeah it's so many Different movies, isn't it?
It really is.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a musical.
It's a coming-of-age tale.
It's a Red Bull ad.
It's a story of a young woman who...
Come on.
Is underdeveloped.
Well, it's sort of her journey to going back to education, right?
Because at the very end,
while we're wrapping up
all the loose ends,
she goes back to school.
Don't try to listen to anything good.
In the movie,
does she go to Stanford
or does she just have the key ring?
I reckon she's at a community college.
She never confirms nor denies
that she was at Stanford.
She definitely just walked through campus
and was like,
the key ring's the only thing I can afford.
Is that how college works?
Yeah.
I never went to university.
Is it just like a lot of merch everywhere?
Yeah, there's so much merch.
That community college she's going to at the end of the movie,
that ain't Stanford.
No, no sir.
No, the community college probably sells mouse pads.
All three of you went to university,
but both of you guys have degrees, eh?
Was there a lot of merch when you guys went to...
That was the saddest thing anyone has ever said about me.
You three went to university, but you two have degrees.
I didn't do either, Rose.
You don't need to feel bad about it.
I've got one for you.
Which one would you give to Rose, the BA or the LLB?
It's a spear, I don't need it.
Yeah, it's good to see that law degree's really cooking for you, Alice.
Oh, God.
We're all in the same hotel room.
I guarantee that I will at one.
Everyone needs to open their body language up.
I don't like what's happening on stage.
Everyone's getting very snippy at each other.
Oh, all right.
Everyone's very angry.
You're the one who just threw out the beautiful net.
Yeah, I know.
Tim's gaslighting all three
of us. Come on.
It honestly was intended to be
against me because I neither went to university
nor have a degree. No, no, no. You didn't even get the opportunity
to drop out of university like
I did. I had a scholarship that I
lost, right? I didn't bring that up.
You did not have to mention the scholarship.
I only got the scholarship.
But no, I'll tell you, I only got the scholarship
because I'm half brown as well.
And I support that. I have nothing.
What bit of that do you support?
All of it.
You were just not supporting it.
Oh, whatever.
I'm a bit stoned.
Because we watched the
movie so
many times
and it would
be too easy
for this
podcast series
to just be a
dumping ground
on a film
we don't want
that
so what we'd
like to do is
pick a bit of
the film that
we genuinely
liked every week
oh shit
and so
Rose
no don't
start with me
the movie that
you've just seen
You have to take it first
Like we've burned 39 enjoyable moments each
What was your shining light of the movie this week?
Oh no, oh no, okay
Get that mic in nice and close so we can all hear you
For those of you who are here for the first time
I'll give you a bit of thinking time
The shining light is we just have to name one thing you enjoyed from the movie
Rose just watched the movie
for the first time
less than 30 minutes ago.
I liked the
music.
Oh shit.
No I didn't like the music.
I like
It did
Oh it's hard. It's hard because
it's horrible horrible So that guy
The guy with the
Baseball bat guy
I enjoy him
Paige
Paige
I like Paige
As a character
Not really a character
But as an actor
Paige Farrell
He's the guy who owns
The property company
Oh yeah he's hot
Yeah yeah yeah
He's fucking hot
He's super hot
Why have you said
You could eat breakfast
Off that bridge
On a nice shot of his nose
As a compliment?
I said that.
It wasn't me.
I said that.
I would love to take credit for that.
You lusted after him though, didn't you, Alice?
Yeah, I think he's pretty hot.
He's a bit of you.
Yeah, he's all right.
Well, I think maybe this is a good time to incorporate
a bonus of the heart segment.
Because the film, while failing to sort of resemble
anything worthwhile as a cinematic adventure,
certainly parades a series of different muscular fuck-pois.
That's true.
Thank you for your correct pronunciation, finally.
Boy knows how to read, boy knows how to talk.
Proud of you.
So the segment is...
Oh, yeah, the segment is a quick-fire round
called Hot Yes, Hot Not.
I like that Rose got out of Shining Light as well.
I couldn't even name one at the end.
She said one of the guys was hot.
It was a lovely segue, which we'll just undermine.
Oh boy.
There's such a power struggle on this.
I love it.
Now do you see what I fucking deal with?
It's not easy, my job. I love it. This is what happens. Now do you see what I fucking deal with? It's not easy, my job.
I make it look easy.
You're gaslighting me now.
It's not the first time.
Alice, no, hold on.
What do you see
as your job
on Boners of the Heart?
Keeping it on track.
Rose, what do you see
as your job
on Boners of the Heart
trying to call her out
for her fucking lies
that's bullshit
neither of us
are successful
I described
I described
I described
our relationship
I was there like
Alice the other day
she was like
doing the reverse
of Munchausen's
via proxy
by saying that
I wasn't
trying to tell people
I wasn't sick
only one knows
what that syndrome is.
That's a deep pull.
I only know about it from Sixth Sense.
It's when you convince someone that they're sick.
And I was doing the opposite by convincing Rose that she was well.
She was being a little soft cock.
Anyway.
Okay.
Is it hot or not?
I thought the segment was called hot or not.
Hot or not.
Yes, that's right.
Okay.
Hot or not? I thought the segment was called hot or not. Hot or not. Yes, that's right. Okay, hot or not.
Okay, hot or not.
So you guys reel through some of the characters you know in the film.
And then we'll... We have access to magnetic or schmagnetic as well.
No, no, no, of course.
No, no, no.
You guys...
Okay, so we've got paws on paws individually.
Yeah, the rules are simple.
So...
It's a paws on paws.
It's personal.
And then there's a...
And then there's mutual pause.
But...
Because it's four of us,
so I guess it's group pause and group unpause.
And mutual pause.
And mutual pause between us,
but not mutual pause between you two.
They get mad at me,
because when they're explaining the show,
I'm usually making a hand gesture
while they're recording,
being like...
And they're like,
fuck up, Tim!
You're just with
the patriarchy
you are the patriarchy
I didn't realise
usually Tim
and I record
worst thing of all time
and it's just
I walk into the room
we talk and they walk out
and he does it all
I didn't realise
that I was walking
into like some sort of
weird family dynamic
between the three of you
there's accusations
flying all around the room.
You're like someone's lovely boyfriend,
like one of the daughter's lovely boyfriend
who's come into the family dinner
and the family's quite dysfunctional.
And you're just like, oh, goodness.
You're trying to crack jokes and lighten the mood,
but everyone's very, there's a lot of history there.
Okay, so, and then if you think someone's hot,
you say hot yes.
And then if you think they're not hot, you say hot no.
Hot no.
Whatever.
Hot not.
Sorry, hot not.
Very important.
And then if you think they're like magnetic, you say magnetic, which is different to them
just being hot.
So you can be a hot magnetic, a hot schmagnetic?
Yeah.
Yes.
Very unlikely though.
It's an unlikely combination.
Or schmagnetic, which is the opposite of magnetic.
Would hot schmagnetic be like a fuck doll?
You clearly don't understand how the game works.
Would there be someone with no character that's like, you know, attractive?
What's the word I'm looking for?
Someone who's like got an attractive personality?
Someone who would be like hot schm Someone who would be hot magnetic would be like
Chris Pine.
Oh, so it's like
a lack of charisma.
No charisma.
Charisma.
But hot,
like on the other side.
I think Chris Pine
has some charisma.
I don't mind.
I saw him cry
at the Oscars
during the Selma tribute.
So you take that back.
For the love of God,
can we start the game?
He's a professional actor. He knows when to cry.
They were all watching.
That's terrifying. Like, if they come on
screen, they're going to turn on the tears like that.
Lest they be, you know, painted into a racist
corner for the rest of their professional career.
Yeah, if you didn't cry during that, you're a
bigot.
You guys begin the game.
Quick fire round. I can't stress this enough.
Zac Efron.
Hot yes.
Hold up.
Are we using...
No, you've got to pause.
Group.
You're right.
Group pause.
Are we using external world terminology for the characters?
Rose doesn't know all of the character names as we do.
You can do...
Makes me sad.
Do whatever.
Okay, character names.
You go.
Group unpause go Group unpause
Group unpause
Squirrel
Pause
Can I just say
It's nice to see this segment
Kill live
Unpause
Squirrel
Hot
No hot not
Magnetic
Fuck me
Hot not
Magnetic
And did you say schmagnetic?
No, I agree with her. Okay, so
group pause.
So he's good looking but you don't think he's got charisma?
No, no, no. Not good looking but he has
charisma because he dies.
Okay.
Group unpause.
Johnny Depp.
Hot knot. Hot knot
schmagnetic. You said it was, well group pause. You said it was, oh no Johnny Depp Hot not Magnetic
You said it was
Group pause
Solo pause
Pause
Nah never mind
Unpause
Still in my pause
You said it was unlikely
But I knew we'd do Johnny Depp
And I knew it'd be a hot schmagnetic
Unpause
Jarhead
Hold on, group pause
I thought Johnny Depp was hot not
He's hot not and schmagnetic
Which is a likely combination
No, no
Oh, well, no, no
Okay, group unpause
Pause
I think he's a hot schmagnetic
Unpause
Jarhead Hot yes Magnetic Pause. I think he's a hot shmagnetic. Unpause.
Jarhead.
Hot yes.
Magnetic.
Rude pause.
What the fuck?
He is the most... I'm thinking about fucking him right now.
I did not see that coming.
I thought you guys had more self-esteem than that.
No, definitely not.
He'd have a real long Muscly penis
And it'd end just below his nipples
With like a fist at the end
Fuck I just
Being decked by his own penis
I feel like we'd fuck but we'd never kiss
Pretty woman style yes
Pretty woman style but he's the hooker
And you're Richard Gere Yeah Group unpause Pretty Woman Style, yes. Pretty Woman Style, but he's the hooker.
And you're Richard Gere.
Yeah!
Group Unpause, Paige Terrell.
Ooh, Hot Yes Magnetic.
The guy.
Which one?
The guy with the nose.
Pause, which one?
The guy with the beautiful nose.
Oh, Unpause, Hot Yes Magnetic.
Tanya Romero.
Hot Yes Schmagnetic. Pause, who's that? Hot yes, magnetic. Tanya Romero. Hot yes,
schmagnetic.
Pause. Who's that?
Group pause.
Did I watch this movie?
You watched it twice. The mum with the son.
Oh, get off. Yeah.
I'm kidding.
Group never mind.
Alice pause. What's your answer?
Hot yes, but schmagnetic.
Unpause Alice.
Only I can unpause me.
Unpause.
Don't I know it.
I've worked with you in a production capacity for the last few months.
That is absolutely true.
James Reid from The Feelers.
Oh, hot not.
Paws, you don't have to do what I do You piss egg motherfucker
Pause if you want to say that
So I
When you did the
What's the guy with no hair
What's his name
The guy with no hair
Jughead
Jughead
No Jarhead
Sorry I'm thinking about someone else
Hold on group pause
Jarhead's got no hair
Yeah that's great
The guy with the great fringe
Yeah so no
I'm talking about Jarhead
I don't actually think he's hot
But I think he's magnetic
Hold on we're talking about
No we're not
I know I'm just talking about
Because when Alice said
That I don't even
Have to do all the
Pause can I just say
It's great to do this segment
Unravel live
Unpause
Oh yeah Group unpause James Reid The DJ is going to do this segment Unravel Live. Unpause.
Oh yeah.
Group unpause.
James Reid.
The DJ.
Hot knot.
I'd say he's the kind of guy
I'd probably have sex with though.
Really regret it afterwards.
But like he probably is a juicer
so it'd be nice in the morning.
That's true. he's a natural
bullet kind of guy
hey segment closed
yeah
we've been done
forever
forever
okay
please give a big
round of applause
for Hot Not Hot
yes
that was great
thank you for being
hard with that
that was fun
building to a real
spicy crescendo
and then it's sort of
all just
yeah
it's tough isn't it?
I want to ask you guys in terms of like have you ever explored your feelings
for any of the boys or the girls
or the girl, oh we didn't cover the girl
what's her name?
we can all fucking agree she's hot yes
magnetic
hot yes
magnetic, I could make an argument for magnetic
and I will
the floor is yours Tim Somaly is a character with Hot years schmagnetic. I will make an argument for magnetic, and I will.
Floor is floors, Tim.
Somaly is a character with a few floors,
which is delightful to see in a movie that shies away from vulnerability.
Okay, pause.
Hold on, this is an over conversation.
I know, I'm going to say pause.
Yeah.
She isn't even interesting enough to have floors.
That's the problem.
She doesn't have floors.
She's in a damaging relationship with an alcoholic workaholic.
Well, no, just alcoholic.
Right, so that's clearly a projection of her self-worth dissipating.
She's in terrible financial straits to the point where it almost feels like there's a pseudo-prostitute-y vibe
to what is happening in her life.
Wow, patriarchy.
We say sex worker on boners, Tim.
Yes.
Absolutely.
You said hooker.
I did.
I'm not saying that she is a sex worker.
I'm saying there's shades of that when you blur those boundaries
between the person who employs you for your sole job,
like that is your sole income,
and you're also having sex with them.
It's a power dynamic.
And this is why she's magnetic.
Yeah.
Because we see her through the film
wrestle with this tough relationship
with James Redd from The Feel
as a man who had a stratospheric career
on the New Zealand Top 40 charts for so many years
and then just absolutely fall by the wayside
and then get mocked on a podcast years later.
He's trying to pick up the pieces.
He turns to the bottle.
It's not fucking hard
to not just be the assistant of a DJ.
That's not a situation.
You don't mean sold into that situation, right?
Worst day of your job
when you forget to charge the laptop.
That's a fireable
offence.
This was a fool's errand and you've bested
me and I'm willing to
lay down my sword and accept defeat.
No, it was fun. It was like when your friend goes out
with someone hot who's got no personality
and you see them try to talk themselves into it.
No, no, she's just
she's alright. You just don't know her. You just don't know her like I know her. When she's not around people and you see them try to talk themselves into it. No, no. She's just... She's all right.
You just don't know her.
You're rude.
You just don't know her like I know her.
When she's not around people,
she's real interesting.
And the first week or two weeks,
you sort of...
Well, maybe they're just interesting
behind closed doors.
No, they can't.
People just don't turn it on and off.
Also, how much of a psychopath
would only be interesting behind closed doors
and then be fucking boring around your friends?
I don't know, Rose.
Maybe the most interesting
people in the world
we just haven't found out yet.
Hey, I'm very excited
by the fact that we've got,
we normally talk into
different kinds of microphones,
but these ones remind me
of karaoke,
which means that we can do
a real good singing job
in front of a room of,
there's literally like
150 people in here,
which is exciting.
Are you ready to have our musical
live taboo? Remember in the early days when we were
organising this live show, some of you might Melbourne,
we were going to do it in Tim's hotel
room.
It was a squeeze at four.
I mean. Would have been so fun
to try though.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Getting sentimental
with James Reid.
Beautiful stuff.
Oh!
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Things have happened.
Get it off the...
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What do we have here?
Yes!
I'll explain what's just happened, everyone.
A beer got knocked over
Which is what drew my eye
And I got very concerned
And then I saw what knocked the beer over
And it's a MacBook Pro box
Live at the gig with a sticky on it
Saying for the fuck boys
That is amazing
Who gave us this?
What is your name person?
This is from Susie.
This is from Susie.
Is that an American accent?
No.
Okay.
It wasn't.
One out of two ain't half bad, Tim.
Thanks, buddy.
Can we get a big round of applause for Susie?
What a lady!
This thing's heavy.
Wow, I mean, this is quite beautiful. This is a MacBook.
No.
No, it isn't.
It's too heavy to be a MacBook.
This is so cool that someone orchestrated a live,
real-life version of this. No, I'm just excited.
We've never been put in this situation before,
whereby we have a real-life getting sentimental
with James Reid situation on the stage.
So can I posit that before we open the actual MacBook Pro box,
we opened the MacBook Pro box
that we saw
about 45 minutes ago.
I'm going to keep holding this.
I'm so excited.
So for those of you,
this is presumably
one or two first times
we got dragged along
this evening.
Can you see the middle
with James Reid?
It's a segment in the movie
where James Reid
from The Feelers,
successful DJ
and mentor to Zicoli.
We're just feeling the weight of the MacBook Pro box between ourselves
and Rose is making a great animated face to illustrate it's quite heavy.
Careful.
Everyone's on surprise.
To be fair, if you look at it, it's the old computer,
so that could be, am I right?
Technology's going so fast.
But no, so he reveals to Zicola he may have gotten a little sentimental,
and he gives him a gift.
And the gift is contained within a MacBook Pro box.
Each week we speculate as to what is in the box.
Rose, I think, Alice, you've done it before.
You thought that maybe it was.
It was like a coffin for a pet.
Yeah.
Good remembering.
Yeah.
And terrible judgment on what would be in there. It's so dark. Yeah. And terrible judgment
on what would be in there.
It's so dark.
Yeah, well,
I've buried a lot of pets.
Sometimes you see
what you want to see.
But, Rose,
you, as yet,
have not taken a guess
as to what's in
the MacBook Pro box.
So, when you saw
James Reid gift Ziccoli
that MacBook Pro,
what did you think was inside of the box?
As a visual reference, it would fit in this box.
It's slightly more recent, so it's a little bit thinner.
I threw it up and it made a sound.
And now it's throwing me off what my original guess was.
It's probably Lego.
It's too heavy.
I think, I think.
Not in this one, Rose.
You're looking at it like...
Too big, too big, too small for a baby? I don't in this one Rose You're looking at it like Too big Too big
Too small for a baby
I don't know
I mean
Talk us through it
Well my theory
I had this theory
When I was watching it
I was telling you guys about it
Is that
I don't remember
What was her name
Tanya
Tanya
Tanya
Hold on for a second
Do you want to let Rose
Start to explain
What she was talking about
This is literally
Before you shut it down what I have to deal with.
Like, it's not even put on.
Like, it's actual fucking, like, horrible tension.
I was just trying to remember if you'd talked and I couldn't remember.
So I took a stab in the dark about the anecdote.
In the Uber on the way here, Alice said that we'd all been negging her too hard.
She's fighting back.
Yeah. Sorry.
I had a theory about Tanya
Romero. Yes. Tanya Romero.
And you know how he rings her up
and she's like, oh, my son Richard.
And then he's like, oh, that's funny. It's my dad's name.
And my idea
was that he is ringing
his own grandmother
and
guys
Tanya is his
grandmother from like the past
and Richard
and Richard that she's talking about
is his dad
who we haven't heard anything about in the film right
we know that Richard is his dad's name.
Richard is his dad's name. So when he goes over
to his house later on with his
boss, Paige, and the little boy, like,
why would you put Richard in there playing? That's his father,
but at a younger age.
And he has time-travelled
back in time. So what's in the
MacBook Pro box? So, that
brings me to my next point,
which is,
is his own baby self?
So James Reid can also time travel.
So it's his own self.
So you know how like you leave in front of an orphanage like a baby with a note or whatever,
but it's 2015.
All the time.
It's a classic trope.
We had to stop on the Uber here
Because Alison just had a baby
She had to drop off at an orphanage
It was terrible
There's like five of my kids in this room
That's a classic thing
But the updated version of that
Is putting it in a MacBook Pro box
It's like a little Trojan horse right
Because you're like
Here you go
A MacBook Pro
Ah it's a child
So hold on So to what end? like a little Trojan horse, right? Because you're like, here you go, a MacBook. Ah, it's a child.
So hold on.
So to what end?
To make him face his own, like, himself, right?
It's like a school project.
It's like keep the baby alive. Yeah, keep the baby alive.
Keep yourself alive.
We can be better than this.
I love that.
I like that a lot.
I love the idea that
this movie has turned into a sci-fi
quite like high concept
adventure tale
where Zac Efron has to
raise himself
from
infancy to adulthood.
Is he equipped for it? Clearly not.
The kid still lives with his parents in a pool that's got no water.
Well, someone else's parents.
That's what it's all about.
He doesn't have parents.
He's discovering what it's like to be a parent and what fatherhood's all about.
Did anyone else just watch the cogs in Tim's brain click into gear?
That was so good.
I did not pick up on any of that.
That was so good.
I did not pick up on any of that.
Alice, I would love to hear what you think is in the MacBook Pro box this week.
It's going to be so embarrassing after that.
I just thought it was more fruit.
Well played.
They've got so, in an earlier scene, and we've probably talked about it before,
they have all together, I don't know if it's the set dresser or whoever,
but they put so much fruit in there.
There's no way they can get through.
It's two of them mostly.
Even if you're having smoothies for every meal,
you're not getting through that much fruit without some of it spoiling.
There's no chance.
So what I assumed was that was the key to his success and that he thought he'd share it by offloading a few bananas
that if he didn't would otherwise go rotten.
We were just imagining when we were watching the film,
the runner of the film, talking about like,
okay, so we cannot, we just can't, do you touch the prop fruit?
Because there's a prop fruit and we just need to keep those things separate.
We're renting this house for the day.
If you want a banana, Zach, we've got heaps out the back.
We've got heaps out the back.
There's heaps on the catering table, but please, can we just leave these ones?
Guys, can I open the box? No!
I'm still
enjoying Alice's idea that they've got so
much fruit that they're packaging it as something
else, and they're like, please take it.
And this changes the context of
going to a friend's house. You know when you go to a friend's house and they're like,
hey man, do you want an apple?
That's not them being nice.
That's them being like, oh fuck, I got the ratio wrong again this week.
Was your apple double entendre there purely accidental?
MacBook?
Oh, yeah.
No, that was a total accident, Tim.
Yeah.
Can I open the box now?
Can I just say from personal experience,
if you do find yourself in a situation with too much fruit,
you can freeze the bananas.
That's just a PSA.
You could freeze anything.
Well, shut up.
No, bananas keep really well.
That was the quickest retort I had.
Yeah, well done.
Shut up.
Or you can let them go off and make a lovely cake.
That's true, but hot type.
Sorry, I just feel this is important.
Is it?
Muffins.
It is important.
You have to peel the banana first
because if you're in a situation
where you're peeling a frozen banana,
it's fucking, it's dark.
It's a nightmare.
I feel like you've just been reading
the Arrested Development wiki page.
Trying to get it out there.
This is actually from real life experience.
You guys know, What I found out about
Alice the other day
Is that she's
Got a phobia of goo
Yes
And that would be
Genuinely
Like
We were eating
Eggplant chips
The other day
And then I went
Oh it's just like
Kind of fried goo
She couldn't eat
The rest of it
And so that is
The ultimate goo thing
Isn't it
The banana
Yeah
I don't like bananas
I'm opening the fucking box.
I'm sick of you dudes.
All right, all right, all right.
Oh my God, guys.
We've got glassware.
Oh my God, that's dangerous.
Single fin summer pale ale.
Ah.
One says summer.
I wonder if I'm supposed to open it.
That represents summer.
Oh.
Those represent summer beers.
It says summer and time.
It says summertime. And then it says good time. It says summer and time. It says summertime.
And then it says good time.
Oh, whoa, that's a deep cut.
And there's books?
Careful.
Yeah, there's books, yeah.
This one's Dick Boss.
I just killed.
Getting someone on the podcast.
This is their podcast that they've invited us onto, right?
So unfamiliar with the canon that you say,
Dick Bot?
Brody!
Brody Rat King!
Brody!
Yeah!
Brody the Rat King.
That's such a good picture.
What's the book itself?
Mathematics and Sex. Oh my god, this is so nice. That's such a good picture. What's the book itself? Mathematics and Sex.
Oh my God, this is so nice.
I can't handle it.
Okay.
All right.
Is that because you feel too humble too?
I can't read them.
There's a part time.
Tim and Guy.
Well, don't say the nice note.
Oh, why not?
Oh, well, I want to.
Do you always do what you want to do?
Yes.
Thank you for all the laughs over the past years
Long time stalker
Oh no
And then it says
Say my name
Abort
This is friend zone territory
Someone's trojaned into the wrong bit of the podcast
Quickly we must shut the box
I don't know what's going on.
Well, thank you so much, Susan.
Thank you so much. What an amazing thing.
You guys are so lucky.
We are very lucky.
Very lucky.
And I mean, that gave everyone what?
An hour, two hours to think of a shining light?
Nah, I'm bored of that.
Guy, I want to know what you thought of the movie this week.
It's always fun
I'd say two things
always fun watching
with a first timer
and more than that
so much fun
watching with a first timer
which as you
accurately observed
you can watch
watching the movie
the whole time
I would have seen
about 10%
of the action
on screen
and Rose
Matafayo's face
told a story
what was I doing
it was just a story
of abject despair
it was really
really bleak
your face
was a dancer
now that's a deep cut
that is a very deep cut
that's some season one
episode 29 bullshit
huge fan of your own podcast
big shout out
to worst idea of all time
great show what a weird thing to do nah just do it have your own podcast. Big shout out to Worst Idea of All Time. Great show.
What a weird thing to do.
Nah, just do it.
I mean,
you know,
we're in our waning years.
You've got to enjoy
everything you can.
Oh my God.
Are you acutely aware
of that?
That like things
are really
winding down now?
And are you sad about it?
No, I feel so good, dude.
Are you talking about being closer to death?
No, I'm talking about, well, the death of the podcast.
Within about 20 minutes of the movie,
Alice broke out in hysterical laughter by herself
and said, it's so funny because time is finite.
Oh, no, contextually.
I'm so happy you remembered that line.
I just killed
you were
you were saying
because you said like how many times have you guys seen it now
and we said 39
you said that's so fucking weird
I couldn't imagine doing that myself
especially considering that time is finite
which is a good point
I know I've watched the West Wing Like three times though
Did you enjoy it?
Yeah, nah
Huge fan
Well, that's a good story
Guy
Guy
Guy
Guy
Guy
What did you think of the movie, dude?
Oh, look man
I gotta tell you
This We Are Your Friends movie
Yeah
This is a slice
of Montgomery
straight out of the gate
yeah
nah
fuck man
I'm so sad
I'm so miserable
watching this movie
you were man
I've known you
for so long
and you were
a happy person
I am
and like the darkness
that descends upon you
when you have to do this
is fucking terrifying
it is and hearing like you halfway through do this is fucking terrifying. It is.
And hearing you halfway through being like, it's so weird.
It is so weird.
It's so fucking weird.
And it's been three years.
And it just keeps...
And it's just like...
That feels gross now that you've said it out loud.
It's just...
It's fine.
It's just what?
Say, up to four hours of your week.
You know, every week.
You know what's crazy, though?
That we... Three years. Like, we're a bit late sometimes
in getting an ep out,
but we have not missed a week
except for the little short breaks
in between the seasons, which are like...
Is it weird to think that the amount of time
you've put into this over the last three years together
is like the amount of time you could have...
You could have feasibly raised a child for one year.
Don't do that.
You could have raised a baby. Don't do the list of things. You could have feasibly raised a child for one year. Don't do that. Don't raise a baby.
Don't do the list of things.
You could have raised a baby.
Tim could have got a long, sought-after degree.
That's true.
Three years is enough time for that.
Rose, you could have finished yours.
Alice, you could have got a career in your degree's profession,
maybe, if you wanted.
Slap!
One day I'll represent myself and it'll all come full circle.
You'll be horribly out of practice
and probably on quite serious charges.
I would suggest hiring a professional.
It'll be killing rows.
I'll fucking kill you.
That did get a little bit requiem for a podcasty there,
but it's just, it's hard.
And I do mean it when I say having you come on
and getting to watch someone experience it for the first time,
because there's no perspective,
and it stretches beyond just we are your friends.
It's like watching a movie is not the, it's not, it's real, it's so.
What are you trying to say, boy?
Has it ruined watching films for you?
Not all films, but I...
You're legit unravelling.
He's breaking down.
Hold on.
No, no, no.
Give him some air.
I'm cool.
I'm cool, guys.
What are you trying to...
I'm the same happy-go-lucky man who walked on the stage.
Speak your truth, man.
I want to hear what's happening.
No, it's just...
It's gone too long
and it's gone fucked
and it's fucked now.
It's great you guys are here,
but it's fucked.
It's all fucked.
Oh, no.
Oh, boy.
I feel like you're just
coming to terms
with what you've done.
Well, when you said
time is finite
and I remembered immediately
like one of the most
vivid people
who I respect
against not to
which is
last year we were
very lucky to get
Paul F Tomkins
on the podcast
and when we finished
the record
he said to us
afterwards
he said so what
are you guys
going to keep
going after this
and we were like
oh we're thinking
about it yeah
and he's like
don't
don't
you're young
don't
and also with
fear in his eyes
he was very
genuinely worried
particularly about you
he said he was like
looking over at you
a lot during the film
because he'd already
seen it
and he was like
just watching
your deadness
like emotional
void
of a man
that is not
what you want to look like
when you're meeting
your heroes
but your worst
foot forward.
But it's, yeah, it just, it feels real.
And like coming back, I flew back from New Zealand.
I got up very early this morning.
I had a hellish flight.
And I...
Oh, I got to Australia by plane.
Yeah, I did.
I know that you've got to get the boat tomorrow
to be back for next week, Tim.
But,
and I was just like,
all I could think was that the first thing
I'm doing when I get off this plane
is heading straight to a hotel room
to watch Where Are Your Friends
for the 39th time.
And I was like,
what a fucking stupid thing to do.
Oh man,
but yeah,
no, that comment.
It's hard not to take all of that personally
With the scientific gravitas
that you added to it Alice when you said
and time is finite
I laughed uncontrollably
when you said it because you're speaking
truth to power to borrow a phrase
bandied around a lot on your podcast
She loves speaking T to P
T to P It's like it's a lot of time that yeah we're not getting that back She loves speaking T2P. She loves speaking T2P. Genuinely, T2P.
T2P.
It's like, it's a lot of time that, yeah, we're not getting that back.
Time only flows in one direction.
Yeah, but you've seen Arrival.
Yeah.
So true.
And then I don't quite know what the conclusion is.
But then think about it.
Okay, look.
Okay, look.
Okay.
Okay.
Guys, stop it.
And stop it.
All right.
Here we go.
Because think about the Wikipedia pages of your lives, right?
All right.
Still don't have one.
All I want in life is to have a Wikipedia page
while I'm still young enough to get asked for ID
so I can show them that instead.
When was the last time you got asked for ID with that moustache?
I got asked for ID last night.
Really?
Yeah.
But you were being pulled over.
No, no, no.
I was in a bottle shop.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
That person was just fucking with you.
No, no, you guys, you're funny.
But it is an accomplishment.
It is an accomplishment because you put time and effort into something that means something
to a lot of people, clearly.
And I think you guys should be proud of that.
And in the Wikipedia entry of your life,
there will be one sentence about it, sure.
See, this is shades of what you were saying
in the first time we had you on.
I like this.
Yeah, I think unless this is the best thing
they do in their career.
That's what I'm afraid of.
And then it will be the whole Wikipedia.
I'm playing in a 38-seat room.
I have not seen a 38-seat room.
I have not seen a single one of these faces.
Oh, it's like only 38 people laughed there as well.
Hey, look, we're burning out of time.
Do we have any other important business we need to get to?
Oh, mate, you haven't even told us what you think of the movie. Yeah.
Gaslighting us.
Is that what it is?
Yeah, that's what it is.
What did you think
about the film, Tim?
In your own time.
Keep it on track.
What did I think
of the film?
Look, I enjoyed it.
What's not to enjoy?
We've got a pumping
soundtrack taking us
through a rollicking ride
of highs and lows
for an hour and a half
featuring four guys
I can relate to.
You're on autopilot
dude. Yeah.
You're just plugging in different words
for things you enjoy. It's true.
Hold on. Sorry.
Okay, hold on for a second.
Apparently we've got a call coming through
live in the show.
An authentically live call
coming in.
Hi, it's Tim and Alison Guy here.
You're on with all three of us. Hey.
Oh, boy.
Hey.
I think I know them.
Hold on.
Who is it?
It's fucking Joey.
Get out of here, Joey.
Get out of here.
I just want to say These fucking These motherfuckers
I don't really listen
To their podcast that much
I'm only listening
To this crossover rap live
Because I'm a big fan
Of the girls
But I just want to say
You guys are fucking
You guys are good
Joey
You guys are good cunts
Just while I'm at you
Can I just let you know
That your presence
On the podcast
Has led a person Who was eager enough to come to the show
to be in the front row to just dive into his phone real quick.
I think I might have to cut the call.
Nice stick around.
Hold on.
Joey, you still there?
Joey?
Joey?
Oh my God, Joey just killed himself.
Joey legit just killed himself Fucking hell
You sir
Joey and Squirrel
You have a lot to answer for
I'm so glad you're not pinning that on me
Because I felt like that was head of my way
You're going to be fucking Squirrel Nick mate
Fucking hell
Tell you what
I'm turning you in
That might be fun
Between the four of us
There are four
Squirrel
Lead characters
Well you got
A bloody self-professed
Squirrel over here
I mean you were
Squirrel because you were told
Rose put her hand up
So what
Rose is Squirrel
We're casting ourselves
As the four fuck boys
Squirrel
Zicoli
Always
Every time
Carrie
Adam Sandler.
Jarhead.
Jarhead, you're going to shave your hair.
Which means that we're fighting over Squirrel and Johnny Depp.
Oh, one of the best.
I'm Squirrel, 100%.
Hold on, actually this makes more sense.
Squirrel.
Yeah.
Johnny Depp.
Why?
Jarhead.
Yeah.
That's literally, yeah, we said that.
Oh, did you?
Sorry.
That's what I'm disagreeing about.
That's your fucking lord agreement.
Hang on.
I've got a completely different room right now.
Why am I Johnny Depp?
Like all the acting and shit.
Yeah, you dabble in a bit of acting
and you're constantly changing your facial hair
which throws us all off.
Oh, shit.
You sponsor.
No, never mind.
What?
Nothing.
I can't say. She's going to go deep in on Johnny Depp. Yeah, never mind. What? Nothing. I can't say.
She's going to go deep in on Johnny Depp, I can tell.
Yeah, I was.
Oh, right.
Yeah, no need for that.
Thanks, Alice.
No, you're welcome.
I think that's right, though.
I think you are more of a Johnny Depp.
Then I am not a Skrill.
Well, yeah.
Morally duplicitous.
That's true. That's true. Why is that true? You can't just say that's true twice anditous that's true that's true
why is that true
you can't just say
that's true twice
and believe it's true
there's nothing
exactly right
do you guys want to see
one of the funniest things
you can do
hey Alice
you're a contrarian
stop being a contrarian
fuck you
I'm not a contrarian
I am not
it's like the bird
that drinks the water
keep doing it
it's automatic
fine shit bowl fine oh come on you're alright It's like the bird that drinks the water. It's automatic.
Shit, bro.
Oh, come on. Are we running out of sweet, sweet daylight?
Well, look, you didn't do it, and we do it every week,
so fucking spit out a shining light before we put a foot in this thing.
Fuck, bro.
Do you know what I was real into this week?
Seeing We Are Your Friends, an incredible film for the 39th time
that was made in 2015.
Filler, filler, autopilot bullshit. Filler, autopilot, bullshit.
Filler, filler,
chicken dinner, mate. No shit.
My favourite bit of the movie this week
is the fact that when they're in the
car together, Somali and Ziccoli,
I get the sense that they actually shot
that in motion and it wasn't just
a screen.
And it's that
kind of commitment to realism
that I appreciate about the
film. Did they fake and get
a CGI department to just whip up
a bunch of people in an
American apparel
car park to do a makeshift music festival?
No. They invited a bunch of fuckos
who would be drawn
hook, line and sinker with a little bit of bait called Zac Efron to a music festival that doesn't exist to just hang out and be filmed and sign their release.
You know?
Yeah.
I love that about Max Joseph.
He gets the job done.
Can I ask you as a crossover kind of segment, do you guys have any apologies for this week?
segment, do you guys have any apologies for this week?
I would like to apologise to either of you as
guests or anyone in the room for
saying that it's all gone wrong and stuff.
I actually, I did have a real good time.
It was lovely. Honestly, all four of us were in bed
watching a movie. I remember saying, wouldn't it be great
if we didn't have to do the podcast and just
stayed here watching movies we liked instead?
And that was how I felt.
My shining light was not on the screen.
It was in the hotel room at the downtown of Ligon,
room 116.
I all of a sudden feel very uncomfortable.
You're not even in the room, are you?
Do you have an apology, Alice?
Just an apology to my flat
Who I'm currently staying with
I did not put my dishes in the dishwasher
And I
The dishwasher was empty
Did you at least rinse them beforehand?
I put them in the sink
Did you turn the tap on for
You know, two seconds
Only to fill up my glass
That is even more disrespectful.
That's fucking awful.
Yep, I'm a real cunt.
You're a real cunt, Alice Sneddon,
and may I take the opportunity to say,
you're a real piece of shit, Guy Montgomery.
Thank you.
Thank you all.
Tim, do you have any apologies to make?
Do you know what?
I absolutely don't,
because I feel like
if we start opening up
apologies on our podcast
we'll start remembering
shit we've said
and analysing it
and I don't think
that's something we want
We do get to see if
Rose has an apology
I'm sorry for bringing
the apologies
No no no
I apologise for
Hindsight's 20-20 Rose
but the damage
has been done
I want to do a no air I know we're out of time people are going to get mad Well hindsight's 20-20 Rose but the damage has been done.
I want to do a no-an.
I know we're out of time and people are going to get mad
because we're supposed to leave the room
but I want to do a no-but.
Well it's great to address
that you're making people angry before.
I don't mean to be offensive
but you're fucking hideous.
I'm not trying to be a bitch
but you just suck as a human.
I know you're going to get angry but I'm going to keep going
Are you playing me right now?
You're nagging yourself now
You can't pin that on me
No But is a segment of the podcast
where we try and figure out
which bits of the movie
potentially were done
improv'd
off the back of the scene
which was most obviously
improv'd
when they're having
breakfast together
in the hotel
the morning after they
shag
that shit eating grin
tells me you've got
something up your sleeves
Ned
I did
once you mentioned
that improv thing
I fucking loved that scene
it's a real game changer
if you go in
knowing what you're
looking for
it can be
a very enjoyable movie
in patches
certainly so good no I didn't think it was although one scene I noticed that I thought If you go in knowing what you're looking for, it can be a very enjoyable movie in patches, certainly.
So good.
No, I didn't think it was...
Although one scene I noticed that I thought was the opposite of improvised
was when they were in the car together, the girl and the guy.
So I'm Leon Ziccoli.
Yeah, when they were in the car together,
and Rose and I determined that there was definitely a runner
who was lying on top of the car,
putting lines down in front of the girl.
Like an iPad. Yeah, like a line
player so she could remember them.
Oh man. I can't believe of all
the deplorable and not that talented
male performers in this movie, you're choosing
the shit on the woman. Well, that's
feminism.
Touché.
Fucking touché. Doesn't even make sense. It's a hot button word. Touche Fucking touche
Doesn't even make sense
It's a hot button word
Oh yeah
Okay so No Buts is
I guess the
Through the drugs montage
Would be very
Very improvised
And specifically I guess
When they get into that
Weird kind of
London Eye-esque
Ferris wheel bit
And like Zac Efron's like
Got his legs up and stuff
and she's fooling around.
But I'm imagining the actual staff of that ride
freaking out at the production crew,
being like, they cannot do that.
Sweet Kevin.
Yeah, it's funny you should bring that up
because the attendant on that very ride
is the love child of Ziccoli and Somali.
Oh, wow.
A child so beautiful they cannot be looked at
named Kevin.
Sweet Kevin. Yeah, and you're child so beautiful they cannot be looked at named Kevin. Sweet Kevin.
Yeah.
And you're right.
He is constantly, you know, put upon.
He's this sort of really.
He doesn't want to tell his own parents off.
No, well, I mean, who does?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm trying to remember which timeline we went into,
but either he fell through the Ferris wheel
or he pushed Somaly through the Ferris wheel.
Oh, yeah.
Someone definitely died by falling down
through all the railing of a Ferris wheel.
And I'm really sorry if that's a trigger
and someone in this room has died
by falling down the inside of a Ferris wheel.
That's so unlikely, but so awful.
Yeah, that is a bad, you know,
because you just don't know these days, do you?
Well, look, that seems like as good a point as any
to wrap this into that other. Watch 39. Watch 40 is traditionally speaking don't know these days do you well look that seems like as good a point as any to watch 39
watch 40
is traditionally
speaking
where we do
a director's commentary
and I'm looking
forward to that
so it'll be fun
next time
what
you're looking
at me with such
an accusatory face
no no
that's how I look
when I'm thinking
I love my little boy
there wasn't a pride or a love face.
It was like...
Well, I was befuddled by how much I love you,
but I do love you.
I was reckoning with the fact that I'm in this bed with you.
And these two lovely...
Do you have anything you want to say to me?
They're woman, guy.
Okay.
You can say it.
I think this has torn us apart a bit.
No.
Because I see the relationship these guys have,
doing a podcast every week, doing something awful.
We don't even have to do our podcast, and yet we just...
When there's no natural enemy, you make one out of each other.
That's the thing.
We've got a...
That's fine.
There's nothing in it.
Cool crowd, though.
I love a crowd who cheers when a drink spills.
Taxi.
Hey, come on.
Let's all go to get a taxi.
Yeah, there you go.
Come to my show.
Let's do it.
I don't know when I'm going to put this out,
but hopefully it's soon.
Guy.
Please come to my stand-up comedy show.
It's on the rest of the Melbourne Festival.
It's called Let's All Get in a Room Together.
9.45 in the Forum Theatre.
Head along to my website,
guymoncomedy.com.
I'm doing a show
called Sassy Best Friend.
It's at 8.30pm
in the Melbourne Town Hall.
Please come.
I'm doing a split bill
with Donna Brooke Banks
in the Victoria Hotel.
6pm every night.
Be there.
And can I also say,
we are all part of
a New Zealand improv group
called Snort
and we are very good at it
and we're just trying
to show people in Melbourne
and it's proving really difficult to prove it.
It's on on the weekends at 11 o'clock,
Thursday, Friday, Saturday,
and Mondays at 6 p.m.
It's called Snort.
If you want more information,
just look it up on the internet.
This motherfucker has done all his shows in Melbourne.
Congratulations.
Thank you, and I'll be in New Zealand,
so if you're part of the very small part of the population
that listens to our podcast in New Zealand,
come to...
Fucking, you know, just, yeah, you're all good.
I want to take a...
If you're listening in New Zealand, bloody cheers, mate.
We love you for it.
There's so few of them.
I know where the numbers are.
Huge shout-out to America.
What I'm going to do is I wanted to call for us
doing an audience selfie because this room is so packed with people.
I want to thank you guys so much for coming out today.
And oh, this is the thing.
I should have ended the episode.
Please give yourselves a big round of applause.
This is the end of the episode.
This is the end.
This is the end of the episode. This is the end. This is the end. Ow.
This movie's still fine.
There's a colleague who passed out.
One of them dies.
That guy's a screw.
One of them's a hottie.
His name is Jay.
One of them looks like Johnny Depp.
And his name is Johnny Depp.
Classic Maximum Joseph.
I agree.
Ah.
You forget that films are supposed to have a point.
Thanks for listening to this podcast.
If you're thirsty for another, why not try...
You were so mad at the fact that they did stuff with the camera.
Why did it have to zoom into his eye?
Why not?
What's going on in a monkey's brain?
I want to know.
Get me in there.
Well, what insight did you gain from the cool CGI shot where the camera zoomed into his eye?
I gained that the title of the film was Kong Skull Island.
And that's what he was thinking.