The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Thirty Seven - Shade

Episode Date: November 9, 2018

This epsiode the podcast has taken a turn. The boys decided to record during the last half hour of the film, while they watch the remainder of the party scene play out. Plus Guy has decided to fall asleep during the first hour of the film. Luckily, a plucky Tim is attempting to pull the pair back from the edge of dispair in spite of not just a tired co-host but also people on the internet trying to cease the project.An depth discussion on Paddy Swartz and Miley Cyrus' rumoured romantic union, a shout out to all builders and an intro prodived by amazing comedian and musician Reggie Watts awaits you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, I'm Reggie Watts, and you're listening to The Worst Idea of L-Time. Hello and welcome to the podcast. That's not how we start the podcast, guy. Live a moment You're talking to me, we're actually recording right now? Yes. Well, what we're doing is we're trying something slightly different this week, whereby we've actually still got roughly 30 minutes of the movie to go. We're at the party scene right now. The party scene has already been going on for quite a while. Guy has just woken up as well in the last, I'd say, five or six minutes. I've given him a peanut brownie to help him get to.

Farm-baked, specifically. How's that treating you? Yeah, it's good, man. Good. I'm glad that, I mean, I'm so tired. Yeah. I'm so glad that we've made this decision. Well, this streamlines the whole process in a lot of ways. glad that we've made this decision well this streamlines the

whole process in a lot of ways we've cut a slight corner on this one especially

considering you were asleep for the rest of it and now you're just you're watching it as you

do the podcast you know it feels like a cut corner. Making a free throw. Yeah, man.

I'm questioning the whole project. I'm questioning the whole thing. Really, really, really, really questioning it. I thought we got a lot of good love over the internet over the last week yeah it's been a while

between innings for us except today um except today can you explain what happened we got um I think the kids call it

shade these days we got shade thrown at us on our Facebook group some people throwing shade we chucked up the uh poster of last week's episode, which I'll put a little quote on,

a little pull quote from yourself, old Monty. And I spelled Taylor Lawton's last name wrong, so sorry about that. Very embarrassing. It was embarrassing. And some guy wrote under it now I can't remember the exact wording and he subsequently deleted it

but he said like come on guys this only had 19 likes do something more constructive with your life for fuck's sake I like that we are creating a breaking point for someone else

neither of us know who the person who wrote this message is I like that we are creating a breaking point for someone else. Neither of us know who the person who wrote this message is. But I like the fact that he is so impacted by what we're doing from that far away that he's melting down online. I can't imagine how Adam Sandler will feel when he finds out that we are watching it. I did send him a message. I replied to his comment. And I said to him, your feedback has been noted and quickly disregarded. Thank you.

Oh. And then he deleted his message. And he sent us a message. He sent us like a non-public message, like not a post. Yeah. I don't know how to get to it, though, because I don't understand all of these things. It's unimportant. Hey, look, can you please make sure you're in charge of the shape and general feel of this?

Okay, all right, fair enough. All right, here we go. Episode 37 is what we're up to right now. That means we've got 15 more watches of the movie, plus the remaining bit of the movie that's playing out right in front of our eyes. This is a creepy bit at the moment where Adam Sandler's talking to his daughter in the bedroom. The lighting's very ominous while the party's going on downstairs in Lenny Fader's backyard, comprising of hundreds of people and various members of the old Jay Giles band,

famous for their hit, Cinefold, I think is the name of the song. No, no, no, no, no. That's the one. And yeah, there's a lot happening. There's a lot happening in the movies. I'm sure you can appreciate. We got sent a message from that guy i i don't know his name i was going to leave his name out anyway but you were going to say his name on the podcast the guy who was

throwing shade at us because he sent us a message afterwards and he said hey listen i'm sorry i was i was so negative to you guys i had a fight with my girlfriend I don't want to bore you with the details but I got into a negative zone words to that effect I mean I quite like that

we're part of his personal life like that like that we are a reasonable outlet for

sort of frustrated or confused emotion from a real life argument someone said with their spouse. Yeah, it bled through, man.

Like, I love that. You know? We, I mean, and we deserve it. We don't deserve it, but we have created this thing where we're watching a movie for the 37th time. Like, if you are going to chuck

some negative energy at someone, it might as well be us yeah totally um here's another guy who isn't even the original guy this guy's name is cody scott and he just said um please just give up and i i put a post up i put a post up publicly saying um something it was in response to the haters today no love for the haters well guys some of you are trying to slow or stop us completely

but we won't we're watching it again tonight you just watch us and then I put a link there to a YouTube video and if you click on that link you will find that it is to a Stan Bush song called Never Surrender and the lyrics to that song go

Never surrender, never say die you've got the heart of a hero never surrender I think it was the theme song for a movie called Kickboxer I think with Jean-Claude Van Damme in the 80s and it really just captures the spirit I think of what weClaude Van Damme in the 80s and it really just captures the spirit I think of

what we're doing here Tim Bat the wiry tenacious fighter Tim Bat of the project you know

you're sleeping your way to the top slippery you're sleeping Guy Montgomery in a way where you're not having sex with someone but you're literally

asleep but you will still in fairness to me I did the first 20 minutes I was so tired and I said I said to me I did the first 20 minutes I was so tired and I said I've never seen you so tired

I'm not this is no way I'm not gonna I'm just gonna fall asleep yeah and it was a really deep

and effective sleep and like almost to the point where it's contentious that this is my 38th watch 7th yeah

and that like I missed the bulk of 20 minutes blackout, wake up suddenly we're at the party scene, Tim Batts thrust a microphone under my face well here's the good news

I'm picking up the slack with our regular features today and I want to kick it off with the Paddy Schwartz party time, because we've been inundated since our last podcast with people posting up to our wall, and we really appreciate this. Everyone letting us know that Paddy Schwartz, it would seem, is now dating Miley Cyrus. That's right, romantically linked.

Which is pretty fucking cool for Paddy. Well, yeah, I mean, I look at this news and I sort of get excited. I think, I mean, if we know anything about Paddy, we know that he's a man who's not afraid of partying, certainly likes to party, has been seen partying before. And, I mean, you look at a girl like Miley, who's obviously she's sort of diverging quite far from her family-friendly Christian child star image,

and also exploring the possibilities of a party herself, you know, whether that be through smoking a drug like marijuana, say, or just drinking a high-percentage IPA on a Tuesday afternoon, you know, and getting snapped by the pap, a pap snap, doing that. And so, I mean, for the union to take place between Patty Schwartz, who, as I've said, knows how to party, and Miley, who's exploring more of a party girl image, is exciting. I think it's a real miracle that, I mean,

the big gossip wheel hasn't been churning faster and harder in American news on account of this revelation. Tim, I'd love to know what you think about the union. I'm so happy about it. I've got nothing but love for Patty Schwartz. Both of us are in that boat, I think. I actually quite dig Miley Cyrus. I think she's cool.

And, I mean, you know, as a lot of people have said, she was famous for her song Party in the USA Patty Schwartz This is known for his partying It's a It's a Patty Schwartz party In the USA This couldn't be going any better

I hope they get married And have little party kids There's a party in the USA They will come out Of Miley Cyrus' Whom Twerking Right there

In the operating theatre They will be By the age of three tearing rooms asunder where most kids learn how to walk they will be learning how to overact into it into a scene and just out act anyone in the room you know what i mean it's going to be huge and um i couldn't be happy about it I want to go to their wedding Do you know how great that wedding would be bro It would literally be the best party that's ever happened

It would literally be the best party that's ever happened And you know that Billy Ray Cyrus Is going to be there A hero of mine Are you kidding me Have you heard the song Achy Breaky Heart Don't tell my heart My achy breaky heart

I just don't think it'll understand You have heard it You have heard the song So listen On to a more serious note With the Paddy Schwartz Party Time today Now I couldn't remember whether or not you've brought this up before Guy But when we first meet the lads at the quarry from the frat,

he gets handed a beer, Paddy Schwartz does, by one of the other guys. I have brought this up. Oh, you have? Okay, damn it. Well, I'm going to do it anyway. It's like a double beer,

multi-handed disaster. No. Oh, no, it's not that. No, no, no. It's similar, but it's not that. So he gets handed a beer, and I didn't check to see that it had a cap on the top of it, but presumably it's a full beer.

You wouldn't hand someone an empty bottle. And then Paddy Schwartz starts swinging it around, and you can tell there's no liquid in it. And in between those two times, about 10 seconds has passed. So one of two things has happened. Either, number one, Paddy Schwartz has bitched out in the same way that Adam Sandler's kid and Chris Rock's kid did and tipped

it out somewhere. Or Paddy Schwartz just slammed a beer in 10 seconds, bro. Which I in my experience, I've only seen that done once before. And I'd like to share when that happened. A little tale. Crump, I don't

think listens to the podcast. He's an old school chum of mine. A great man. Crump, I don't think, listens to the podcast. He's an old school chum of mine. A great man. He's a builder. Yeah, bloody good on you, Crump. Crump got... Hey, shout out to all of our listeners who are builders. Yeah, and builders who aren't listeners.

Yeah, yeah. Hey, yeah, shout out to all builders. If you're in construction or in some way associated with housing, I'd like to do a shout out right now to anybody who's never listened or never will listen to the podcast. Basically just any carbon-based life form. Hey. Shout-out to you.

Shout-out to anyone who thinks this is a stupid idea. Yeah, we don't want to limit it. Not just to, you know. This is a shout-out to the haters. No love for the haters. The haters. Matt Ali, he told me out to the haters. No love for the haters. The haters met Ali. He told me I'm the greatest. I got the fever for the flavor of a crowd pleaser.

From the west to the east to the north to the summertime. Makes it hot. Getting jiggy with it. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Na, na, na, na, na, na. There we were. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. On a lovely summer's day.

I can't remember whose house we were at. We were at a house party, you see, Guy. And there were some boys from the South Island at the party. Yeah. They challenged Crump to a drink competition because apparently they weren't aware of Crump's legendary drinking. Lady Mainlanders. Crump actually, I believe if memory serves,

got told by the doctor once that he had to chill out or he would, how do you say, die. I believe this. And he did. He shifted into a lower gear and subsequently he's doing awesome. He's bought a house. He's doing great. Good job, Crump.

So anyway, so the first guy goes and just gets the beer, opens the cap, boom, down the hatch, right? As fast as gravity can pour it. And he thinks that he's won the drinking competition. Unbeknownst to him, Crump has drunk the beer faster than gravity can pour it by literally like tipping the beer perpendicular to his head and sucking in, Swing the beer perpendicular to his head and sucking in, sucking in 330 mils of water, yeast, sugar. I think there's barley in beer. The whole contents of that body sucked in.

Hops. Malt. Hops. There we go. Faster than gravity could pour it, mate. That is remarkable. He schooled that South Islander. He really schooled him.

He really embarrassed him at his own game. So suck on that, mate. Okay, we're at the sort of climactic fight scene of the film right now. This is when all the extras come out to shine. We're dancing on the ceiling. And like Charlotte, Chris Rock's daughter, is sort of singing. Can you see Adam Sandler there in the hat? Yeah.

Do you reckon he turned up this day? Because you don't see his face in most of this shit. I reckon he just got a stunt double to come in for him. He's a pretty general build. Like, there'd be a lot of people who could be Adam Sandler.

Yeah. He's in the most basic costume. I mean, but like, why would he, why would Adam Sandler just take this day off? Because fucking, he's, he clearly took all the writing. He's done the other 39 days off. Why would Adam Sandler just take this day off? Because fucking...

He's done the other 39 days off. He took all the writing days off. We really should meet up to write the script, Adam. And Adam's like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. I'm going to Hawaii. This movie is a triumph in terms of showing that dreams are big. Dreams are free. You can ad-lib a one-hour, 41-minute movie,

and it can still have an emotional core, it can make a cohesive sense. I mean, you can meet really meaty, sort of three-dimensional characters who pop off the screen. In a lot of ways, this movie is representative of the American dream, in that if you choose

that you don't want to work but you throw enough money at a situation, you'll be able to get even more money out of it by cheating people out of their money vis-a-vis theater goers. Yeah. So, in a lot of ways, Adam Sandler's really superseded Arnie's dream,

but he's used Arnie's son in the vehicle to do it. There's a beautiful poetry. What we're watching now is Kate Hudson's brother, Paul Hudson, who's dressed as Indiana Jones. He's in a fight scene, which, honestly, it looks like he got hired for the job and on his acting CV he'd written Stage Combat. And they were like, okay, whatever, Paul.

And then Paul was like, no, no, it would be really cool if i could use it if i could use the stage combat that'd be really great because i'm actually really good at stage combat and they hired him uh and then he wound up doing this sort of fucking elaborate ludicrous dance i don't know it's like capoeira what he's doing i don't have any point it's like he's gone to three capoeira classes and claimed that he did stage combat and he's just busted that out it's so um fuck tvs are distracting eh when they're on like the movies it's all it's all there you know yeah whenever there's a screen around me I my natural inclination is just look at it

that's how they're designed man we're conditioned I read a a book about that once um by a professor who had done

this research into the effects of television and uh it turns out all of them are bad ah yeah

bullshit they're all bad effects uh like TVs brainwash you because of well actually his research was all based off old crt tv so it's probably different now but how they the flicker rate the refresh rate the hurts at which they they go at they fuck with your brain man they really mess with you they make you vulnerable tim susceptible to advertising tim i feel like i'm really uh not doing a good job on the podcast this week and i just want to man they really mess with you they make you vulnerable tim susceptible to advertising tim i feel like i'm really uh not doing a good job on the podcast this week and i just want to say

sorry to you for that uh you're doing great how dare you and i would like to pick up the slack uh i mean time is we are moving along at a rapid rate oh yeah uh so pick it pick up pick up the slack and uh take over the Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour. The Steve Buscemi Mystery Tour is coming to take you away. Coming to take you away. Take you away. This may or may not have been influenced tonight's theory on how Steve Buscemi sustained his injuries, which he refers to once in the film.

We haven't seen the first grown-ups, so we have to guess each week as to the origin story of them. And this may or may not have been influenced by a particular brand-new Christopher Nolan film that's come out, which I've seen twice in a week. However, I now believe that Steve Buscemi's character time-travelled back in time and kicked his own arse. Why? That sounds like Looper.

Yeah, or Back to the Future in some ways. Bruce Willis, Joseph Gordon-Levitt movie. Oh, it does sound way more like Looper. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I mean, this is elaborate. You think Steve Buscemi's character in Grown Ups is a time-traveller? Here's the interesting reason.

A self-loathing time-tra time traveler. Here's the interesting reason. A self-loathing time traveler. Here's the interesting reason why. Steve Buscemi is such an emotional animal in Grown Ups and Grown Ups 2 that what he did is he discovered a time machine by accident. He went back in time and he saw his previous self fooling around with his girlfriend,

which is completely kosher because it's still him yeah but in in the moment in the heat of the moment he didn't rationalize that it was him confusing he just went that's not me someone else is following around with my girlfriend and started kicking his own past versions why did he take it out on chris rock because chris rock saw the whole thing play out and he knows And Chris Rock can't tell too many people And Steve Buscemi knows that

Because it will alter the course of future The future And so it's just a little inside joke There's all these rules around time travel You've got to obey It's very confusing Hey can we just I know it's not necessarily related to Grown Ups 2

But I have I got to do a podcast this week and I'd like to discuss it. Okay. Have you listened to Serial? No, I haven't. It's from the magazine This American Life. Oh, okay. It's like a non-fiction story told bit by bit,

like a serial, like the clues in the name. Yeah. And it is honestly phenomenal. Now, I was in Wellington for work this week. I had a bit of time on my hands during the name. Yeah. And it is honestly phenomenal. Now, I was in Wellington for work this week. I had a bit of time on my hands during the daytime. I literally spent an entire day walking around Wellington in some weird figure eight, listening to the podcast Serial. Fuck all right, mate.

So Moorish. Christ. It was so good. I can't believe how unrelated this is i mean that's a great recommendation i assume i will definitely check it out it's a hearty recommendation and npr they make a fabulous podcast there's no doubt about it but jesus mate you are off track monty what do you expect i want to read a message adam sandler is mercifully finally going to bed after what is the longest

biggest most ludicrous sized day he's gonna make love to his pregnant wife in the way that he really gets her in the mood is by farting

burping sneezing in her face I did it I burped started I did it for the baby I did it for the baby so we had some fans in Sheffield get in touch with us

And I said basically thanks for getting in touch And I can't remember what they said actually Or what I said But they sent a subsequent message which is this I'm going to read it for you now Guy Okay please Cheers for getting back to us that's so cool Sorry to message you again so soon but I thought I should share

Got my housemate into the podcast too That's what we in New Zealand call flatmates, or in America you'd call a roommate, I guess. Yeah. A dorm mate. Yeah, mate. What have you. It sounds like you've swallowed the mic.

Got my housemate into the podcast too. So tonight when I said, shall we watch a film, he was all, hee let's watch grown-ups too and i'm like hey yeah why not fuck i actually need to go back and listen to old worst idea episodes of some kind of therapy for the mind rape that just happened you guys are hardcore i mean like you're onto some check yourself into Guantanamo Bay for fun shit right there. I'm stunned.

Even after all the warnings. What? Some crazy alchemy going on for that bollocks to turn into a hilarious podcast. I might kidnap Adam Sandler and force him to listen to it for the rest of eternity.

So that, I didn't realize it had such heavy platitudes at the end i probably wouldn't have read it if i knew that but that's lovely it's very sweet i don't want to blow our own trumpet but it's just it's nice that we've got people in sheffield watching uh listening rather and um i like that they vent they dip their toes in the water with a watch of the film and and then they quickly jumped out of the water and they went, this water's too shitty. It's confusing, isn't it? I mean, whether or not we want people to watch the movie.

Like, say you've listened to every episode of the podcast so far, and if you're honest and this is you, God bless your soul, and you have never watched it, do not watch the movie. But, I mean, if, you know, you find yourself with two hours on your hands, and you're curious, and you're thinking,

because I can only imagine what bizarre picture we've painted of what is essentially just a regular, sort of high-budget, sort of family-friendly, or what is it meant to be a family-friendly comedy film. Like, in passing, we've referenced the most obscure moments of a film.

And so I can understand the curiosity and it builds and it builds and it peaks and you want to watch it. Do you, okay, here's what I want to do

with our remaining time on the podcast if I may, Guy. Let's try and attempt to do what Peter Dante was unable to do in his press junket let's try to describe what this film is in a concise yet poignant and alluring manner i'll be i'll be the describer you'll be the interviewer guy montgomery thank you so much

for coming in uh it's a real pleasure and an honour to meet you. I guess my first question is, can you briefly tell us what is Grown Ups 2 and why should we go and see it? It's a very exciting movie. I'm not actually involved in it, sort of really whatsoever, but I mean, I was lucky enough to catch a preview. In the movie, Adam Sandler,

he's moved back to a city and his grown-up friends are there, it's all these dudes, and pretty much it's just, they're sort of like really bored, and I think, when I watched the movie, I sort of read it as like a sort of, a cry for help, you know, from the characters within the world of the film. It's them saying, hey, look, we're really not doing very well right now. None of us like our jobs, our families.

And it's actually sort of quite a bleak commentary on where we're going as a society in the 21 the in the 21st century and if we don't sort of look around and and pay attention uh to our family and friends and the fact that you know what we're doing has real life ramifications um you know your precious time will slip away what do you say to critics who have suggested that adam sandler didn't even write a script for this film um it's difficult to argue with isn't it i mean gliding all over the subject that you've well the subtext that you've read into this this piece can't possibly have existed on the fly i mean surely you've tried to dissect a complete turd and you've found

something that couldn't have existed on the fly is true couldn't couldn't have existed on the page it would also be another way of putting it in the sense that it couldn't exist on the page because there were no pages this is a this is a very sustainable operation we're running on the film here so what we thought is rather than um writing printing a script, we'll just circumvent that whole part of the movie-making process and we'll just vibe it, really. We'll just show up on the day and just fucking vibe it. This roleplay has gone to a really odd place. But what I'd like to do to close off the podcast

is I've found the message. Merciful, merciful. I've found the message from the guy. I'm going to read it verbatim. Now, should we name him? Probably not, eh? Just give him his initials. J.R.

J.R., baby. Hey, guys. Really sorry about the hate. I was in a dark place when I commented before. Brackets. I was in a heated fight with my GF.

Won't bore you with the details. Close bracket. And have realized now that it wasn't fair to take it out on you guys you don't have to do what you do but do it anyway for your fans and i respect that anyway i've since deleted my comment i hope we can let bygones be bygones jr we absolutely can we're not here to hold grudges we're not in the business of um you know taking things too too sensitively and too much no way jose um i appreciate you getting in contact with us even if it is to say what the fuck are you guys doing with your lives i still that's one more message than i would have got a great sunday today and it was really undone by this and look i would like to apologize to you tim and to the listeners. I feel like I've been barely hanging on by a thread in this episode.

And, I mean, I guess that is of interest with regards to the podcast, the whole operation. This has been a real struggle for me. It's been a real push, Tim. And that's not good enough. So I'm going to be coming in next week. I'm going to have a notepad. I'm going to be, you know, really watching the movie.

Really watching the movie, you know. Justin Bieber posters presented courtesy of Bravo Entertainment. I just got told by the credits. Where are their

Justin Bieber posters? Probably at the high school in one of the kids' rooms. I think it said that it wanted to thank the Commonwealth of Massachusetts as well.

The great thing about the way we've done it this week is that the credits are literally finishing right now. The last thing on the screen says, This is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and locations portrayed in the names herein are fictitious. Any similarity to our identification with the location, character, or any person is purely coincidental and not intentional. Also, a note that no animals were harmed in the making of this film including the CGI and then

presumably for Sony make believe make believe now Columbia Tristar pictures did they merge

I thought they merged so Sony Pictures owns Columbia Columbia owns Tristar nobody cares who owns

who owns us though fucking no one thanks so much for listening we'll be back Columbia owns TriStar nobody cares who owns us though thanks so much for listening we'll be back better, stronger next week we didn't do our shining lights my shining light doesn't exist my shining light

was, oh wait a minute I had a different Paddy Schwartz as well which I'm now going to transfer into my shining light do it so fast do it so quick I had a different Paddy Schwartz as well, which I'm now going to transfer into my shining light. No, it's not my shining light. Do it so fast. Do it so quick. Go now.

Oh, he makes an O with his mouth. Yeah, good shining light. Hey, I've been Guy Montgomery. I've been Tim Baird. Love every day Cause before you know it Your precious time slips away Live every moment