The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Twelve - Boners
Episode Date: May 26, 2015Fresh off a comedy tour, Guy has arrived back in town and first order of business is sitting down for a late night watch of Sex and The City 2 with Tim. It's not pretty. As the lads come, probably the... closest to blows since their project begun, the over-exhausted mental spillings of the plucky kiwis are juvenile, puerile and just plain stupid.Guy is keen to discuss boner etiquette, Tim's digging into the Rat King mythology and ringing random phone numbers. Meanwhile the one dozenth watch crawls depressingly by. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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It's the worst idea of all time
It's the worst idea of all time
It's the worst idea of all time
Season 2
True colors
That's why I love you
So don't be afraid, Gamma Gomory
It's true colours, true love
You got it wrong.
Yeah, I know. I'm tired. I'm sleepy.
Sarah Jessica Parker's epilogue makes no sense.
This entire movie is a waste of time.
It's a convoluted disaster.
Now, now, you're just tired and cranky.
You don't mean that.
I'm not going to argue with you.
I am tired and cranky.
Welcome to The Worst Idea of All Time, episode 12.
Today, our movie is Sex and the City 2
As it has been the previous 11 times
And what a great time we had watching the movie
I do apologise for being late
But life
It's entirely guys' fault
Got in the way
Let me say that
Life gets in the way
What I'm trying to do right now
Is I'm trying to skip to
Exactly
Two hours and eleven minutes
Into the film
Why?
To find a fun number
Of a jewellery store
That we're gonna ring
Cause it features
In the movie
This is a fool's errand
Yeah what do you think
Is gonna happen
When we ring it?
Nothing
You think it'll just come up
With a disconnected
Kind of thing Yeah You're making it nothing you think it'll just come up with a disconnected kind of thing
yeah you're making it you're calling it a make-believe jewelry store in abu dhabi
um the first numbers are 203 which i think is an american prefix for like
cali isn't it something you're an idiot 203 203
Like
Oh I'm an idiot
You don't know
You're gonna feel like
You're gonna feel like
A right piece of shit
If it is California
And rightly so
You're an idiot
For thinking that
You can call up
A fake
There it is
It's not even
It's 026
Okay so what
So we put an
RBW country code on there
So we've got to find that out first
This is the worst content
Guy how did you find the movie
Content listen to you
Mr fucking king of media
The rat king really got to you
The rat king did not get to me
Tim I didn't enjoy this movie at all
At no point did I think it was good
At no point did I find a was good. At no point did I
find a reprieve. There was no shining light.
Your company
fluctuated between being incredibly
enjoyable and entirely insufferable.
I'm not happy.
There was a cat, a sleeping cat, next
to us for the duration of the film.
I could not have been more jealous of the cat's
existence. You tried to eat the cat at one point?
Oh, to be a cat.
What's so good about being a cat?
The cat has no obligations to anyone.
The cat just slept through the movie.
Yes.
You want to be asleep
That's basically
You're jealous of the feline
Because you wish you were asleep right now
Yeah
Yeah
And also because the cat didn't
Absorb any of that
The movie happened around the cat
As far as the cat knows
We could have been watching
A cinematic masterpiece
That's the beauty of being a cat I guess
Ignorance is bliss
But then it's a double edged sword
Which is a stupid saying No it's not double-edged sword, which is a stupid saying.
No, it's not.
Well, it is, because if we were watching a masterpiece, the cat wouldn't know.
You know what I mean?
It can't enjoy the heights or the lows.
Ignorance is bliss.
No, not always.
Yes, always.
The United Arab Emirates International Dialing Code is 971.
971.
So what do we do?
We go plus 971 on a cell phone? Maybe find gold jewellery. 971 So what do we do? We go plus 971 on a cell phone?
Maybe find gold jewellery
971
Okay hit me with those digits
02
02622
3221
3221
We'll do it on speakerphone
I don't know if this is how you ring it
Unbelievable Big phone. I don't know if this is how you ring it. You didn't recognise the number you dialled.
Unbelievable.
Who would have thought?
Well, hold on.
I just might have done it in the wrong format.
Was it 971 or 972?
971.
971.
And then what have we got?
Who are we testing?
This is just...
Well, you've really got to pick up the slack, mate.
No, all you're doing is avoiding...
Cover.
All you're doing is avoiding talking about the movie.
I'm trying to...
You've come up with some stupid fucking harebrained,
far-fetched attempt to get out of talking about the film.
You knew full well going into this
you were never going to get through to a jewellery store in Abu Dhabi.
I absolutely didn't know that.
Stop looking at your phone and look at me.
Engage.
Hashtag look up, Tim. I want it I absolutely didn't know that. Stop looking at your phone and look at me. Engage. Hashtag look up Tim.
I wish everyone would stop.
You haven't earned it.
I wish everyone would stop
looking at their phones
and look at each other.
Oh man.
I remember a world
when people had conversations.
I've wanted to punch you
in the face a lot of times.
None more so than right now.
I remember going to parties
where people would remember
and live in the now.
Not live through their screens.
That would bring me so much joy to just fucking lay one on you.
Put your fucking phone down.
Just a closed fist, full force face punch.
This movie is turning us apart.
Yeah, maybe.
Can you even remember being at the wedding?
No, dude.
I can't remember the Queen Swans.
I can't remember the crazy couple.
I can't remember jack shit of all that fucking stuff.
All Tim and I had to get through this movie was a nip of whiskey each,
a hot cup of Milo, a bowl of Coco Pops,
half a bag of M&M's, so that's actually quite a lot,
and half a bag of candy.
And I'll tell you what.
What?
They all made it better.
Yeah.
Anything that you can engage with during the film,
which will distract you from watching the film,
is an improvement on the film.
I cannot imagine how unreasonable
the cinema-going experience must have been.
I'm going to gouge my eyes out.
Unless you went into the cinema and went into gold class and had like a menu and people who would bring you food
and drink during the film you were essentially in there left your own devices you can't talk to
each other like we can while the movie's going you're actually just in there with this movie
savaging your face it's like you're lying down and this movie just takes its trousers off
and just bends down and it's just has its wicked way with it has its wicked wicked way with you
yeah there's a lot of truth in what you're saying um it sounds like hyperbole but it's really how
i feel what you're saying is true. I feel like it's true.
You know what I mean?
I've just Googled the phone number as well.
It's coming up empty.
Of course it's coming.
I don't know what made you possibly think that that was going to be a real jewellery shop.
I didn't necessarily think it would be a jewellery shop.
I just wanted to know what was at the other end of those digits
when inserted into a phone.
This is like what 11-year-olds do when they watch a movie or tv and they see a number and they think it's real
and they call it this is what sex and city tours done it has reduced you to having the intellectual
capacity of an 11 year old incorrect i have the childlike wonderment and furious curiosity of a
child that light is a diet and no guy that's why you're trying to eat cats all the time and fall asleep trying to eat a cat or try and fall asleep you looked very lustly lustfully lustfully if you
look at something lustfully or lustfully i don't know which is the right word that doesn't mean
that you want to eat it in this case you did and i don't think that you should be bragging about
having the childlike wonder of an 11 year old an 11. An 11-year-old is a moron compared to us.
To me.
I will never be embarrassed.
I will wear that on my sleeve till I die that I have the childlike wonderment of the world.
Get a tattoo saying I'll never be embarrassed on your sleeve.
I don't know where it would fit.
The only place I want a tattoo is currently occupied by Patrick Schwarzenegger's face.
I was fingering Patrick Schwarzenegger's face the other night.
I was doing a role play.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Fingering it?
It's disgusting.
It's not disgusting fingering your own flesh.
Jesus.
His tattoo isn't on any orifice.
It's just on my butt cheek.
Christ, pick a different verb.
No.
I need to say words that garner a reaction out of you.
So if I leave, don't look at your phone and try and call up a fake fucking jewelry store.
I resent you for it.
I resent you.
What for?
Being born.
No, you don't.
You got a dumb face.
No, I'm not allowing it.
You got a dumb fucking face.
You know what?
You got a dumb fucking face.
I hate your stupid fucking face. You know what? You've got a dumb fucking face. You stupid fucking face.
Everything about you is stupid.
You're a stupid do-do head.
I'll allow it.
More adventures with the Rat King, though, this week.
I feel like the mythology of this movie
has developed to the point where Lazarus,
which is the demon spirit that lives inside Carrie's hat
she wears at the wedding has formed
Some sort of binary relationship
With the Rat King whereby you need to be
Supporting one or the other
I think
What are those religions called where there's only one god
A monotheistic
Religion
This is like the other one
Where there's two
Di-theistic I guess that would be called
I'm just throwing Latin together Two and two and making four here This is like the other one where there's two. Diathistic, I guess that would be called.
I'm just throwing Latin together and, you know,
two and two and making four here.
You're just mashing syllables against each other.
I guess.
And ascribing meaning to them after the fact.
I wonder if, like, you're Jewish,
where that sets you on what path within the world of Sex and the City 2.
Do you automatically become aligned with Lazarus
or the Rat King or neither?
Do you get to kind of pick your own path?
Or is being Jewish, like is Judaism a third option?
It's like Rat King, Lazarus, Judaism.
I don't think that traditional human religions exist
or are relevant in this context.
There's a lot of Joes in this film.
That's not, like, you abandon your...
They talk about it.
You abandon your religion.
It's brought to the fore.
You abandon your religion and you choose a side.
I see.
Look, I don't want to talk about the mythology of the Rat King
or Lazarus right now, Tim.
What would you like to talk about?
You've been dancing all around the movie.
I want you to tell me
what you took away from it.
Do you tell me?
No.
The hot shot?
You're a fucking switcheroo.
You're the slipperiest fish
I've ever spoken to.
Like a fucking salmon on the boat.
What have you offered up here
that's so good?
You've called me up
for trying to offer things up.
You haven't even listened to anything I've said and every question I've asked you you've just me up for trying to offer things i've said and
every question i've asked you you've just avoided by saying well why don't you tell me
i just i just bogus spun a great yarn about the mythology of this film which i've engaged in
heavily obviously talking about all the jews that are in it and which side they're going to pick in
the great war lazarus the rat King Where will you stand?
It's nonsensical
Alright I'm going to run circles around you
By offering a shining light
Just to show up what a fucking moron and a cunt you are
That's not going to do anything to disregard me
My shining light is actually a battle
Between two things Samantha said
But I think the one that will win out
Is when she's looking at the
dress in the dress shop and she turns to carrie and says what's the worst thing they could say
about me if i wear this dress and carrie says what the hell does she think she's doing and
samantha looks at her and says just went to the top of my list and i love it i love the delivery
i love her mainly her, how her face looks.
Very animated, very happy, and it's made up real well too.
I really like her lipstick.
It really pops off.
This isn't the first time you've sung the praises of Kim Cattrall's acting in this film.
She's a good actor.
She lights up the screen, you say.
Big time.
Not in every moment, but she certainly punctuates a lot of the film with her goodness do you find
moments like that you haven't watched a lot of the show but does that hark back to the tv days
for you and that's when the movie sings if you will i imagine so any bit of sex in the city
the tv show that i saw was such a long time ago you know it was such a long time ago that i can't
i can't it's shapeless in my mind it's like
when i still live with my parents i think that that was on telly six seasons i think it started
in the late 90s i think so that'd be about right because i didn't move out of home till what
2006 that'll be right so in the late 90s that's old that's old bro These ladies It's funny like Excuse me old
Cell phones age movies
Yeah they do eh
They really put a stake
In the chronology
Of when it was
Checked together
I'm pretty sure
Blackberry pearls
Is what people are
Rocking
Rocking in this
I like that technology
Provides a really strong
Timeline for you
Yeah big time
Well thingy's got a
What
iPhone has she got like a 3GS.
Yeah, 2010.
I think it's a 3GS. 5 years ago.
We've got a cat with us, folks,
for this watch.
We've got a cat dog. A cat dog
is a neighbour's cat that comes
around to my house all the time. Did I tell you about
the note that they sent us, bro?
No. The neighbours attached a note to that cat's collar that. Did I tell you about the note that they sent us, bro? No.
The neighbors attached a note to that cat's collar that said,
I can't remember the exact wording, but it said,
stop feeding our cat.
It belongs to us.
And we were like, we're not feeding your fucking cat.
You just, like, need to look better up.
We didn't say this, obviously. This is what we'd said to each other.
It would have been useful.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was what we'd said to each other. That would have been useful. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was a real exercise in productivity that day.
But it's just like, fucking send us a note because your cat likes hanging out with us.
We're not feeding it.
You're just a shitty owner.
What a passive-aggressive New Zealand way.
Come around here and tell that to my face, bro.
Let's have a chat. Writing a post-it note and putting tell that to my face. Let's have a chat.
Writing a post-it note and putting on your cat's collar.
Let's have a goddamn...
And they were across the fence.
They could yell at us.
They could yell that at us.
I don't want to go over there.
We'll get the cat to do it.
Cats can't talk.
We'll put a note in its collar.
Brilliant.
That's brilliant.
Actually, my flatmate Nick, who you'll remember from episode 29 of season one, Prawn Salad.
He's the gentleman snoring in the background.
He wrote a reply.
He had a note of reply.
I can't remember, but it was words to the effect of, fuck off.
We're not feeding your cat.
Look after it better.
Because that cat had a lot of kittens.
The note of reply he wrote was shaving fuck off into the cat's back.
God, that would have worked.
Well, the note of reply fell out
because I saw it on our front doorstep
and I assume it just fell out of CatDog's collar.
Fell out.
Yeah, well, I don't know.
I don't know, man.
Who even knows at this point, you know?
What was your shining light?
No one knows.
I've said previously that I find the scene
between the Danishish architect and kim
cattrall at the restaurant uh gross and over the top which is the entire point of it obviously but
i find like when they're both fellating the shisha pipe it doesn't do neither of them are doing
anything for me like they're both sexy people and I don't want either of them fellating me.
Do you find Ricard a sexually attractive man?
Yeah.
His accent throws me a little bit.
I don't think I do.
He's a bit seedy.
He's a pretty seedy dude.
But when he stands up and they give you that,
like he's in profile and his bone is poking out of his linen
Not poking out
But like poking through his linen
Not poking through
Like you don't see any flesh
It's protruding
Protruding
So it's pop-teating
Protruding's the right word
That tickles me
Okay
Oh you're like
That's your shining light
An erection
Yeah
An erection on
Or just like on
screen the gall of ricardo the the gall of that man it's like because you know like
i guess if you're that confident and you just want to rock the boner through trial
go for it but i've never rocked a boner through trial like that if i ever get a boner in trial
i'm poppy in the poppy inow, I'm Poppy in the waistband.
Poppy in the waistband, that's my business.
No one else's.
You've long wanted to have this debate on boner etiquette, haven't you?
I wanted to open up this conversation with you, yes.
When did you first figure out that when you get a boner
in an inappropriate public space, Poppy in the waistband?
Oh, mate.
I don't know.
Early days. It's just like it's hardwired into into you sure yeah i'd agree with that which is why this flagrant flouting of
the rules tickles me so it's insane and in the city or not in a what is in the city but in a
country where it's like you know that that that's going to ruffle a few feathers
and cause problems for you.
So you like that he's taken what is just assumed.
It's just a known.
It's just, it's a known known.
Or it's even an unknown known because it's so obvious.
You wouldn't even question it.
And he's turned the paradigm upside down.
Well, it's just because for me,
he's wearing like loose linen trousers and a loose linen shirt
and it raises the question of,
I mean, it could be worse, arguably.
What's a,
he poppies in the waistband,
he's got like his shirt is unbuttoned
in the lower parts.
And then he's just a little purple-headed monster
peeking through the curtains.
Yeah, that's never a good look.
Never a good look on foreign soil.
You're walking around,
you think that you're all covered up
And everything's tickety-boo
But you've got a fucking
I don't even think diplomatic immunity
Would cover you for that
I think if you were a foreign diplomat
And you had the purple
Purple-headed monster
Purple-headed monster poking it
Do you know what?
I think it's actually more offensive
Than if you were fully naked
It's weird, eh?
If you just had the tip of the the erect penis popping out so to speak yeah
if you had that bloody titanic sinking behemoth but just the tip they call that iceberg penis
they call it they call it titanic sinker they call it uh i don't know what they call it
i used to get boners at the weirdest times.
Please,
tell me more.
You sound enthused.
Yeah.
Not a conversation I really want to engage with
right now.
It was mostly like,
say we do a family road trip.
Nothing underwater
is going to happen
in the story,
by the way.
Yeah,
I assumed.
But like,
driving along, say we're on like a five-hour drive to go
to some place and there's like a place in the city in the middle or a town in the middle that
will break up the trip and we'll go we'll stop to get like a snack or whatever or say ice cream
you're going to napier you pop out at palmy north okay would it be geographically that doesn't make
a hell of a lot of sense But we'll go with it
So anyway
You're gonna pump out a pulse
I've had an obedient flaccid penis
For the duration of this car trip
As soon as
As soon as the mention
Or as soon as we're like
Literally a minute
From pulling into the town
To get ice creams or whatever
Yeah
It's like
Something stirs
In my flaccid
14 year old penis
And it's like
What? We're getting ice cream? And it just jumpsyear-old penis, and it's like, what?
We're getting ice cream?
And it just jumps up.
It just jumps up, and it's so exciting.
You've got to do this fucking huge song and dance,
taking it in the waistband.
Like, there's three kids in the back of this fucking wagon, you know?
I can't hide this.
You know, it's just a whole kerfuffle.
This has really stayed with you, and I think just, it's really warped you bro.
It's not warped me.
I'm a high functioning human being.
Yeah, roughly.
Like, I'm not going to take life tips from the guy who calls up phone numbers to come up and move.
I'm just saying you've got a lot of weird sexual stuff.
How's that a weird sexual thing?
No, it's led to weird sexual stuff.
What weird sexual stuff have I got?
You know.
The stuff.
You know, the stuff.
The weird stuff.
No, no, no, you're right.
You're right.
You're not wrong.
Very rarely am I.
So yeah, Shining Light, Ricard, Dick Spurt, Linen Boner.
I'd like it to be known as Dick Spurt's Linen Boner. I'd like it to be known as Dickspurt Linen Boner.
That's the name.
It sounds like a James Bond movie.
Dickspurt Linen Boner.
James Bond villain.
Yeah.
He would be too.
He's actually got a boner made of linen.
He's got that sketchy accent that you can never pick,
just like a Bond villain of old.
Actually, and Bond villains of new as well
because of what's his name
the one who's arguably
bisexual
and it's like
my bone is like
a lizard's tail
you can cut it off
but it will grow back
twice as strong
stronger
with a higher thread count
oh
a boner of Lennon
and he ejaculates buttons it's next level loose buttons very useful though
jesus um well i think it's time for my favorite segment and that is
where's he going what's he off to Where's that Well You tell me
Well I know where it is
I know where it's at
So that's why I'm asking you to tell me
It's on the corner of Bleaker and 10th Street
A little known cafe called Mahogany's
Very popular eatery amongst the bourgeoisie
The glitterati if you will
That's right, the Upper East Side.
Many famous paparazzo
frequent this cafe on their downtime
between movie premieres. Including the
ones who killed Diana.
Really? The most famous paparazzo of all.
Yeah, they
hang out at Mahogany's.
Mahogany's a lot. They also hang out
at Mahogany's. Mahogany's is across the road.
The evil nemesis of Mahogany's. Yeah, that's the Lazarus Cafe. Mahogany's. Mahogany's a lot. They also hang out at Mahogany's. Mahogany's is across the road. The evil nemesis of Mahogany's.
Yeah, that's the Lazarus Cafe.
Mahogany's is Rat King territory.
Hero.
The man who consumes more caffeine per capita than any country in South America.
Let's call him...
Caffutino.
Per capita.
There's one capita. There's one capita.
There's one in the capita.
One head.
One head there.
Anyway, continue.
What?
Actually, he's launching it.
This isn't anything to do with anything,
but he's launching something called the Capita Catheter.
Oh.
So what is that?
Like a one-laptop-per- per child style program, but for catheters?
I guess, yeah.
Like everyone gets a catheter.
Everyone gets a catheter.
In an Oprah style giveaway.
You get a catheter.
He wears a large duffel coat, which has catheters.
Wow.
Sewn into the insides.
You're all about coats, aren't you?
Coats and penises.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what I'm going to be going for at the end of these episodes.
So look, it's your legacy.
We're in Mahogany's.
We're joined by our caffeined crusader.
And were you going somewhere with that?
Yeah, he was dashing off to snap some paps at a movie premiere.
So he's a pap-pap.
He's following the paparazzo and photographing them.
That's right.
He snaps paps, baby.
He is a very clever man.
Well, he's not.
He's losing a lot of money on the business venture because no one is paying any money
for photos of paparazzi taking photos.
What he's doing is art, guy.
You can't throw it into the commercial realms of looking and saying,
is this making money?
No, then it's bad.
This guy's running at a loss.
All of his properties, his camera, his furniture,
everything is being repossessed.
Mark, a true artist.
As he sits at Mahogany's.
A true artist.
A true artist.
Hashtag true artist.
Hashtag look up.
He is a true artist loses everything. Hashtag true artist. Hashtag look up. He is a true artist, though.
It's a real comment on hypocrisy
and the surveillance state.
The nanny state.
And, you know, celebrity culture.
Because we're all very prepared to buy our magazines.
There's some media university tutor out there just wetting themselves with excitement at the points you're raising right now.
See, the funny thing is, it's a Trojan horse, I'm afraid, because I'm mocking you.
I'm reeling you in with bait and mocking you.
Mocking your life's work, your teachings.
That's right.
That's right, humble media tutor.
That's the thing about it. We've lured you into this 66th episode of the worst idea of all time. It's right. That's right. Humble media tutor. That's the thing about...
We've lured you into this 66th episode of the worst idea of all time.
It's a trap.
The thing about mockery is that you've got to be close enough to the subject matter yourself
to be able to really fucking lampoon it.
Yeah.
You've got to be in there.
And that's when the mocker becomes the mocky.
Oh, you've got to be careful where that line is.
Behind that kitchen bench, Tim,
I have a whole army of media lecturers and tutors
who have been listening to this conversation,
waiting for you to broach the topic,
and then in turn mock you relentlessly and ruthlessly for it.
It's all gotten terribly meta.
Terribly, terribly meta.
I think of all the watchings we've had of Sex and the City 2 so far,
I think this is the
closest it's done it's come to undoing us the episode started off with just like genuine abuse
of one another yeah it's devolved into like a barely coherent meta commentary i i kind of like
it when we're this tired though because i feel like there is absolutely no barrier between my thought process and what
you're hearing like what you what is coming into the microphone is just there's no more in my brain
than what you're hearing do you know what i mean you're getting the totality of my thought process
i enjoy that where there are silences i'm literally thinking of nothing there is nothing
in my brain.
When I most felt that, like just your brain literally bleeding into the microphone, was
the morning after you'd drunk an unholy amount of gin.
Oh yeah, I remember that.
And you were really suffering for it.
Was that in the, it was about in the 30s somewhere.
Late 30s, I reckon.
I don't know.
Maybe the 40s.
I just don't recall.
I was in a lot of pain
a lot of pain that day
yeah this watch really
um
I felt like it really
for the first time
wow
I guess it has the other times too
you always forget how much
punishment it'll deliver
but it really
beat down on us
the issue
I felt like Batman
versus Bane
and it was Bane
I think the issue was
it's very late
and
you just like especially now that we's very late and you just like,
especially now that we're this far in,
you just want to get to Abu Dhabi.
Yeah.
I mean,
you don't enjoy Abu Dhabi.
Nothing good comes from being in Abu Dhabi
other than the fact that you know
It's just progress.
that you've pretty much like
put away an hour of the film.
It's advancement.
And it just takes so long to get there.
Yeah. We just kept like trying to check where we were like has the fucking have they had the fight yet are we
on a plane yet like the yeah and you were saying it and we'll say it again but the threads that
they drop like the the sort of seeds they scatter to grow into hooks that we're meant to be invested in and interested in.
Like, Carrie's writing a book.
I feel like that is just a token effort
to reference the fact that Carrie has written books
in the TV show.
Yeah, it really doesn't...
No one gives a flying fuck about the book.
No one in the world of the film,
no one as a genuine fan of the show
watching the movie is invested in the book.
In fact, the book in fact the book
that gets the most screen time is that suzanne summer's guide to menopause it's like fuck well
they had a lot of units to shift yeah i know but thing is you're gonna wonder whether that's the
best marketing scheme oh it's so weird like movie. A movie costs so much money.
And books... I'm not used to seeing books advertised in a blockbuster.
Let me just say that.
I didn't see one single reissue of Lord of the Rings appear in Transformers.
You know what I'm saying?
Or Lord of the Rings, for that matter.
Which would have been a great time.
It feels like a way better opportunity Than Michael Bay's
Trilogy da shit
And the end credits
It's just
Some member of the Tolkien estate going
If you enjoyed that
You'll love the books
God damn that would be terrible
What's a good
Hey
What's a good movie you've seen recently
Have you seen Mad Max
Oh
Oh wee Boy do I wish i was doing a podcast
about mad max it's a different conversation god damn isn't that a rollicking good time it really
nailed what it was doing i was excited from way to go i paid like 30 to see it in imax in 3d and
i might do it again i don't i don't want you coming in here and enjoying yourself
on the back end
of what has been
a miserable 25 minutes
of conversation.
Well, I'm just trying to reach
for a bit of sunlight
in this tomb.
You told me to bring this up
during the podcast.
I've just remembered to do it.
What?
Lamb and Soft.
So, I watched the trailer
for Pixels,
which is the movie
that everyone got...
This isn't me talking this is
the internet talking everyone got really excited about it until they found out adam sandler is in
it and i think may have produced it um it might be a happy madison production yeah um so it's about
uh video game characters coming to earth like as aliens and destroying the Earth. I think it's still okay.
The world's best players have got to take it on.
Everyone's just, again, this isn't me talking, this is the internet,
but everyone is just so bummed that Sandler's in it because it looks great.
The special effects and stuff look so awesome.
The way that they've done it, the style that they've applied to it looks so dope.
Anyway, the reason I bring it up is I was watching the trailer this morning way that they've done it like the style that they've applied to it looks so dope anyway the
reason i bring it up is i was watching the trailer this morning and i noticed that they mentioned
the name laminsof in it and um someone messaged me and i can't remember what movie they were
talking about but it was another sandler film yeah that's right and it was something about
someone owing money to laminsof or laminsof owes someone else money? Why is he even Eric Laminsov?
So is Laminsov like the connective tissue of the Sandlerverse? You've lampooned me before for believing that all media exists in the same universe.
And like all Adam Sandler films exist in the same universe.
Two very different things, but yeah.
No, the same.
We'll go forward with the second claim.
No, the first...
I never thought you were being very serious about it, though.
But are you...
No, I don't think I was.
But the Sandlerverse thing,
like this Laminsoff little nugget,
I mean, I don't think it's any more thought out
than Sandler just really wants the name Laminsoff
in every one of his films.
Better than that.
He's just so exhausted,
he can't be bothered coming up with any new names.
Shit, that would be an indictment on us can't be bothered coming up with any new names. Shit.
Yeah, that would be an indictment on us all that he keeps being able to make them.
That's just the society for allowing it, you know?
I'm okay with it.
Do you reckon Grown Ups 3 is going to happen in your heart of hearts?
Yes.
Are you going to watch it with me?
Yes.
It's going to be impossible not to.
Like a moth to a flame
I really think we deserve some walk on roles in that film
If it gets made
I can't see it happening
But I think we deserve it
I worry
About what?
This film that we're watching
Sex and the City 2
You say it
You say it's name
Look me in the eye
And say the words Sex and the City 2 How say it You say it's name Look me in the eye And say the words
Sex in the city too
How's that make you feel?
That made me feel nothing
But
I don't think it's doing good things
No
No
No on a lot of different levels
Not to our relationship
As men
Not
It's not doing good things to us as men either.
No, as individuals.
Because it just.
Oh, yeah.
We just sit here and you just like deride these women.
Because they're the protagonists.
They're the ones who are like acting out all of the problems and the bad things about the movie.
So that's where the frustration is beamed into.
This is why Mad Max was so good.
It's disastrous.
Mad Max was kind of like...
It was so satisfying because...
No, we're getting into something right now.
You seem like...
Fuck you.
I love action movies.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
No, look at me.
Don't talk about Mad Max.
I'll just say this one thing
Everyone likes Mad Max
This one thing
And then we'll move on
Whoopty shit
There's a million people
Talking about how good Mad Max is
And why it was so good right now
There's no one talking about
Why Sex and the City 2
Was not good this week
You're being a massive dick
Just hold on for a second
Let me say this
I've just watched
Sex and the City 2 with you
For like
Fucking What feels like A month I mean just tonight a second let me say this i've just watched sex in the city 2 with you for like fucking what feels
like a month i mean just tonight it feels like i've been watching it for a month in a row
it was a very satisfying movie to watch because it was like the undoing of the worst bit of all
action movies and i love action movies but the whole like woman hating aspect flipped it on its head and it kept all
of the awesome bits of the genre and just changed that and then it was good that's all i'll say
about it now we can move on we're gonna have to watch sex in the city 2 again in about two days
so put that in your brain and keep it keep it close to you at all times. When you're in a good mood and something good happens to you,
I want you to remember that.
And I want you to get sad.
I want to see a little tear, ideally.
Because I want you to know that there can be no joy or love in your life.
Not truly.
Because you know that we have to watch this movie another 40 times together.
That's so many.
That's about 90 hours worth
of sex in the city too.
Look at me, guy.
Look at, wait, seriously, look at me.
Look at me with both eyes in my eyes.
It's longer than 90, it's close to 100.
Wow, there we go.
That is a big old
fucking desert
to traverse.
As grand and desolate as Abu Dhabi herself
find out
what the fellas think of Sex and the City 2
next week and by next week
I mean quite literally in two fucking days It's the worst idea of all time
It's the worst idea of all time
It's the worst idea of all time
Season 2