The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Twenty Five - Matafeo

Episode Date: October 27, 2018

Rose Matafeo joins Guy and a whisper quiet Tim on the 25th watch of Grown Ups 2, throwing some much needed positive perspective on the project. That positivity though, stops well short of any kind of praise for the film. On the contrary, Rose is so disappointed by former comedy juggernauts and what they've been reduced to by participating in the hot mess that is Grown Ups 2. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time, I am a whisper quiet Tim Bant. My name is Guy Montgomery and we've got a special guest this week because miracles do happen everybody It's only Rosemary Faio Hello, hi Purely by chance really I couldn't have got it out of being a guest on this podcast this week Yeah, well you're sort of waiting for me to leave the house here in Edinburgh No I'm not, I'm just hanging out

Are you? I was eating my granola and yoghurt You did watch, well, let's be honest, you watched the first half of the movie. Look, I've watched the first half of the movie twice now and disappointed both times. I leave it exactly the same

point, I think. Just after halfway. Yeah, aren't you curious to see how they resolve all of the conflict? No, absolutely not. I would be happy to never, ever... I don't like leaving things unfinished, but I would happily leave this film unfinished, really. Why, and you have.

And Tim, in reference to your whispering, what's going on with you, bud? It's the middle of the night, and it's the middle of the week, and there are many flatmates with actual, real, proper jobs, so I've got to keep this shit on the d because it makes for quite a creepy vibe yeah man it's intensely creepy it's creepy for me and i'm the one whispering for god's sake i think more than anything it would be creepy for your flatmates

i'd rather walk out to see you talking at normal volume into your computer than to watch you just whispering having a weird one-sided conversation about this movie yeah But the intention is that they don't wake up whatsoever. So hopefully it won't come to that. I know, but I'm just saying, in a hypothetical situation, if they did, it would be much more comfortable for them if you were talking at a normal volume. Well, that's the difference between you and I, Guy. I'm risk-averse. You're not risk-averse at all.

That's not being a risk-averse. Is it? Someone's on Skype. Someone just came on Skype. Well, look. So I'm awake and I'm here and I'm talking to you guys in Edinburgh and I've just seen the film for the 25th time. And boy, did it rock my fucking world.

Truly? Yeah. No, not truly. I was so depressed, bro. I was so sad. And I got really anxious. And then I started thinking about how many more times we've got to watch it and I started getting real

like, is disparate the word? Like despairing. I think that's the word. Despairing, yeah. So, you were experiencing abject despair in the face of Adam Sandler's fucking stupid gob. You nailed it, Mattifyo.

My question, oh no, but also this is getting somewhere, guys, because fucking stupid gob you nailed it Mattify um my question oh no but also this is this is getting somewhere guys because 25

inspiration we're nearly we're nearly halfway there like that is just mind blowing I'm really

just I'm really impressed now at first I thought you guys were just so this is a fucking stupid idea

and it is a stupid idea but the more it goes on the more strangely proud i become of you two um this is inspiring it is i'm here to inspire you guys because seriously it's like it wasn't even a thing to achieve and you made it a thing to achieve this never existed as a challenge to anyone this never was a thing that anyone has done before or anyone wanted to do because no one should do it because it's stupid.

But you guys have actually given it, you've deemed it with meaning. You've actually turned something horrible into something that is just a beautiful thing. I don't know. That's very kind of you to say, Rose. Shit, Rose, I'm real touched by that. Thank you.

Because I've been talking to some people I don't know because I've had to pass out on opportunities to do things because of watching the movie on this trip I've been on. And I've said, if you hate it so much and if it makes you so sad, why do you keep doing it? And the answer usually is because no one will remember the people who watched Grown Ups 2 25 times. And I've said this in previous podcasts, you know.

I mean, we'll go down. Well, we won't even go down in the record books as failures because we won't even make it to the record books. It's got to be 50 too. There's no record book for this. That's the thing. We're forging a brand new path and record book ourselves could you could you get into the world book guinness book of world records no because it hasn't been like verified although these podcasts should probably

serve as some sort of you know evidence physical evidence they're hard asses about that i saw in the news the other day about this really stupid one where it was like the most amount of soldiers dipped into a soft-boiled egg. And they did it in New Zealand. Of course. Oh, so stupid. It was so stupid. The eggs looked really concerning. It was concerning how undercooked they looked.

Oh, that's not good. I know, but they all had to do it at the same time. And it was just so stupid. So I think don't even aim for the world records. Was it verified? It was verified. It was a record the irony if we did get this

verified as a world record would be the person verifying it would have to actually be with us for every screening so they would by virtue of that

actually be part of the world record exactly which is kind of an interesting concept you guys one of you should have been ordained

as a Guinness Book of World Records fuck you're right I'm ordained as a minister actually of the church I did it online when I was like 14 oh god I've been ordained as a Guinness Book of World Records. Fuck, you're right. I'm ordained as a minister. Actually? Of the church. I did it online when I was like 14.

Oh, God. That's fantastic. So in the church of life. Classic thing for you to do. I printed it out. I got it laminated at home. Because I think I actually got the idea from friends. Because I think it means I can marry people.

Yeah, you can. That's all you can do. And also read witness documents. I don't have to be just to the peace to do that. I used to fly, when I was like 15, I'd fly as Reverend Guy Montgomery. I've still got that on my flybys card to this day, because they used to let you put any title that you want, but then they changed the rules later on.

But I'm still the reverend on that. My brother did that with his one card. He was Sir Digby Chicken Caesar, and it made us laugh every time. That's a pretty funny name. It's from Michelin Web, seen that? Yeah, I haven't seen that sketch. Oh, it's so good I was also

Chinan Labong on my one card that's really good I enjoyed that which is a quote from one of the great friends episodes so Tim

you sounded really depressed when you were describing your viewing experience 25 times of the 25 where do you think one being the most depressed 25 being the most enjoyable

where do you think this screening fell for you with regards to how you felt throughout? On a scale of 1 to 10, how am I feeling? No, 1 to 25. So if it's number 1, that's the worst viewing you've had so far, and if it's 25, that's the most enjoyable. Oh, okay. Probably top 5, probably 5 or 4.

No, it's pretty bad. Yeah. Is everything all alright at home? is there tension in the flat? do you want to talk out with us? no that was a yes why did you make that noise?

why did you pause like that? nah everything's groovy around here I just feel like I'm going insane I'm in the kitchen right now because the internet got cut off and so i'm having to do this on 3g but the only place i can get 3g in the house is in the kitchen what has my life become man that would make you feel kind of insane is it dark it's very dark the only thing that's on is i've got one light and it just happens to

be a fluorescent light so it's casting a really like horrible light over the kitchen. And I'm just looking at our stove. Do you guys feel that now I've been thinking a lot about life and, and death, um, obviously, cause that's what I do think about a lot. And,

um, obviously going on a long plane journey, I had a long time to think about it. And do you feel like every second of your life is precious I don't feel like that let her finish the thought

do you genuinely feel like this is when you're old, when you're on your deathbed will you be like why did I do that why didn't I? No. No. Okay, really?

Absolutely not. I'd like to counter-argue first, Tim. Please. Have you been asked this before? No, but I have considered this. There's a sort of, I don't know if it's a proverb, but there's a saying, if you feast every day, then when will you feast? Which is sort of like, if the only meal you eat eat is a delicious banquet then the effect of eating a delicious banquet is removed because it's all you know this is a sobering this has a sobering effect

this is a leveling this is leveling exactly this is like um david brett in the office when he says if he quotes dolly putnam says if you want to if you want the rainbow you got to put up with the rain and this is the rain do you know what philosopher said that dolly patten people say she was just a pair of tits what's the other one where it's um oh god i i remember i printed it out in an office once like you tried to recreate it um what's the other one that he says yeah yeah how do you want to be remembered no no it's a thing that it's a lyric that he puts up on his wall oh disa ray it's a lyric that he puts up on his wall. Oh, Desiree. It's a Desiree. Desiree. Desiree. What is it again? What is it?

I'll Google it. I'll Google it. In the meantime, Tim, would you like to say why you don't think this is a waste of time? Well, that was a pretty good angle that you're coming from, but I was coming from a slightly different angle where I don't consider this. I mean, it's depressing, which makes a nice sort of yin to the yang of my normal, pretty happy life. sort of yin to the yang of my normal pretty happy life. But also I think that I'll look back finally at the end of this project with a lot of sense of accomplishment and achievement. Because whilst it is a ridiculous thing, and Rose has mentioned that,

it is a thing. It's a real thing. And it's a thing that's going to take a lot of time. And maybe hard work's the wrong word but well i think to me to me it seems like um no i do i do agree with you guys i'm just thinking you know that maybe that would cross your mind uh at some point because because but for me it seems like because i would just waste two hours every week um doing you just go you know just fucking around on the internet right like and that's the same amount you guys are spending

this year on this but i feel like it's almost and i've been thinking i've been looking into a lot of meditation techniques at the moment that's interesting so yeah well because i'm looking to start meditating because i feel uh I feel terrible all the time. And I really think that this could be your way of meditation every week. Because it's the same context. Like, you're watching the same thing, but you're, like, getting different meanings out of it every time. And it's something very stable about that. Like, meditation, you're supposed to, like, sit there there you're supposed to observe everything that comes in and just goes

away it's kind of what you're doing you're just letting this movie wash over you and you're just experiencing whatever you know i do feel like there's a level of plausibility to that argument yeah because we're we're hitting the same you know it's like a it's like a constant and what is essentially a pretty unstable lifestyle it's sort of it's one thing which is always there week after week. That's what I was thinking, actually. But that's what I was thinking the other week. I was thinking of you guys, actually. And it's funny because in a year,

you guys are both young, hip men and living lifestyles. Thank you, Rose. We're living lifestyles that are constantly changing and you're artists, and so all the context is changing all the time. But to have one thing that is the only stable thing

in your lives is this and things are constantly changing in your lives but this year this is the one thing and I love it. I'll say that to Tim as well

that it will be interesting to listen back and hear about where we were respectively in our lives and I remember really early in the podcast Tim I posited that this was all a ploy to

strengthen our friendship. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you not say that that is probably what's happened? Do you know something, man? So we've had a little bit of action the last week in terms of people getting interested. A student from the Auckland University of uh wanted to interview me for a unit um about the podcast and she said what is the effect of the podcast been and i i listed our friendship as being a good effect of it so that was just uh one day ago that i was having that discussion oh that's hit the nail

on the head and we got this write-up from some guy yeah we just got in front of me now yeah that I was having that discussion. Oh, that's funny as hell. And we got this write-up from some guy. Yeah, I've just got it in front of me now. Yeah, do you want to, can you sort of venture into that? Because it's really weird when people find things that we're doing which we don't know we're doing. Yeah, well, what the guy did is he referenced this thing called Superplay, which apparently is a phenomenon in video games, particularly really old and basic ones like Mario and Sonic and stuff.

Should we give him a name as well so that we can credit him for his effort? Yeah, definitely should. It's quite an interesting name. Trying to figure out the stairs real quick. The blog is Media Glutton. Gertrude Perkins, maybe? Yeah, Gertrude. That's the one. So he's describing the Superplay phenomenon

where you play the game so much that you kind of get into every single facet of it you do a speed run where you try and complete the game as fast as possible and you play it so many different times that you basically discover everything that is to discover about the game and this guy's suggesting that we are applying that philosophy to this film and i'll just read a little piece which is near the end of the blog. Tim and Guy are experiencing Grown Ups 2 in a way that nobody involved in its production could have anticipated or likely wanted. The project is so unreasonable, so intense, that every aspect of the film has to

be scrutinized, from the casting to the financing to even the folio. In their own way they have demonstrated unparalleled mastery of Grown Ups and from the sound of it with every week bringing a new stage of despair elation or exhaustion this mastery is hard one i thought he sort of he hits hits a lot of the nail on the head there yeah i think particularly by bringing up the point that no one involved in the making of this film ever probably considered that someone would see it as many times as us no yeah that's kind of even the director probably hasn't seen it it's a disposable movie, this is a throw away movie

you're supposed to pay your ticket and see it and never experience it again but that's now the beautiful thing bringing it back to putting meaning into something that's meaningless yeah, I feel that. You create your own meaning for things. And I think it's great.

I really hope the director finds out that you've been doing this. Dennis Dugan, our boy Dennis. We've talked vaguely in passing about how great it would be to get Adam Sandler on the 52nd podcast, but I just don't know if he'd be on board with the whole project. We should start. Does he have Twitter? I don't think he does'd be on board with the whole project. We should start. Does he have Twitter? I don't think he does do Twitter.

He's got to be on Twitter, surely. Nah, probably not. None of them are on Twitter. Also something to discuss where you said you wanted to discuss Sky which was and something I noticed

in the steering of half of the movie is that there is a shot it's when they're all at the party with all the college kids or whatever

on the cliff and stuff Kevin Jones has this horrible towel over his neck and he's a massive and they're all just staring they're all just looking

at like the Taylor Lautner and whatever and those guys and stuff and then you just kind of go it's David Spade Adam Sandler Chris Rock in a row

right and I I love Saturday Night Live and I loved Saturday Night Live from you know the 90s where it was their heyday you just kind of go it's david spade adam sandler chris rock and a rose right and i i um i love saturday night live and i loved saturday night live from you know the 90s where it was the heyday the i have the bad boys of snl dvd it's a great one but they were genuinely like they were the andy sandbergs they were like the cutting edge yeah like you know they were yeah and they were the then they were funny at the time and stuff. But they were the equivalent of, you know, the people that you love on Saturday Night Live now

who go off to do movies and stuff. And just that shot was just so... They all had a cold, dead look in their eyes. It was just so depressing. Like, it just makes me so aware of the passing of time so fast. They're going to be dead soon. It's like a shot of the day the comedy died

in a way yeah I was thinking about that a lot watching it today because being here in Edinburgh and there's so much

going on and there's so much creativity and like some of the funniest shows I've seen in the last couple of days

in my life I've watched and I'm like this is what Chris Rock was this is what Adam said like these were guys

who were on the hustle to let it be understood how funny they are. And then you reach that level of success where you're still like public interest and your desire to be critically acclaimed is still sort of at, sorry, what is it? The equilibrium, like it still meets perfectly. Right, right. And then eventually it gets to a point where you just go, fuck it, I've proved myself. perfectly right right and then eventually it gets to a point where you just go fuck it i've proved myself yeah when do you get it when as a creative like surely they are creatives they're comedians and they create you know humor or whatever well hold on let me just stop you there let's use correct tense we the only assumption we have is that they were they were creatives well yeah so

sorry they were creatives on a new tour exactly yeah that's true but at what point i know i mean i know some other factors come into it like money and all that but at what point do you hit a point where you are successful and stuff but you're so successful that it makes you stop wanting to like something with the thing within you that wants to create and yeah yeah create new things and be productive as a creative human being in your field, in your particular set of skills, it just disappears. It seems to have gone.

But instead of just you also disappearing from the public eye with it, you continue to have the same output, just with no investment in the product. Absolutely. I guess it's not even like the loss of integrity of what your your art is but it's the complete loss of like the will to do what you think you're here on earth to do it's like what are they doing are they just

making money to just live in their fucking way i mean i drove past david spade's house when i was in la on the start was it nice it was? It was okay. You sent me a photo. It was cute. It was great. Yeah, it was with this guy. But it's kind of like, what are you doing? You're just doing these fucking awful movies to just finance this lifestyle that you'll just live until you die and have no kids and have no legacy.

Do you think that they're... What about Joe Dirtman? That was good. Joe Dirt's so good. In conversation, do you think if you went to a barbecue with those guys and they're all goofing off, no cameras, they're just a couple of lads hanging out. I guess they may enjoy life in a different way.

I reckon they used to live to work and now they're just working to live as well. Okay, I'm going to play devil's advocate, but I really respect what you've just laid down. He's gone. so with a film like grown-ups 2 there were three writers involved one of whom was adam sandler now they already had a template for grown-ups 1 which neither guy or i has seen but apparently is quite a bit better than this one so what we've got is a project that would be so easy to write between three people you

could probably shit it out in a number of a couple of months, three months, say, and on a pretty relaxed schedule. Production time for this? Minimal. Fucking minimal. I estimate that this thing was shot within, what, three months? All up? But, you go on, sorry. So it's a massive paycheck. I think in terms of profit, it was somewhere in the region of $150 million. That's a big old paycheck for not a lot of time or a lot of effort.

And maybe we're, you know, painting all the people involved with this film, or the stars at least, with the brush of grown-ups too. Whereas in fact this is simply a paycheck so that they can go on and do the other creative things, like Chris Rock doing another tour. It is absolutely a paycheck because Rose was saying, we were talking about Brayden Higgins. We needed to do the line, no go, stay.

Yes. And then Rose said, do you think actors are, what was the question? Well, actually it wasn't really a question. It was actors are stupid. Yeah, actors are stupid. But it's funny how, because of that particular line, he committed to it so much. And sometimes I find acting really funny. I don't think I could ever properly do it

because I feel like, you know, you have to have a lack of self-awareness to be an actor. And that's usually what makes him boorish to talk to, like, you know, like real, like legit actors and shit. Wow, good insight. Well, but it's just, it just um how how do you not see like bad writing and just not no one says anything or or it must be so hard you must either be killing you inside or you must not care to have to deliver such terrible lines and you said it

was just because it's their job it's their money they're getting paid a lot for it well i think with the case of brayden higgins he's a young man who he's in the hunger games and stuff like he's at a point in his career where if someone goes do you want to be in a multi like tens of millions hundreds of millions dollar comedy picture with adam sandler at the helm you trust him you trust that legacy and no snl history you were talking about you do not no i'm not saying you should no I'm saying that you don't I'm saying he doesn't give a fuck about Adam Sandler's legacy

because it's so tarnished from the last how many years Don't mess with his own heart and fuck it he's just like what about the one that plays his own sister

Jack and Jill that's bad that's my boy actually a funny movie if anyone wants to give it a chance someone was just telling me today

that it's a terrible film well is that the one with Sandberg yeah right it's that it's a terrible film well is that the one with sandberg yeah right it's like it's it's at least hits it's it's not like grown-ups too which treads this weird line between bang for kids and grown-ups like it's properly crass yeah here's another interesting point though i was talking to her about about it at work we're talking about the nutty professor and big mama's house and stuff and how those there was a

period of time where everyone was just okay with those films everyone was okay with body swap films everyone was okay with like body transformation like people wearing a lot of prosthetics being a fat person doing fat jokes and stuff sure we were all okay with it and we see and we still look back on it and mate i love it i love big mama's house but if you watch the trailer now, it's like, what the fuck is this movie? But that was... But it was a certain... Yeah. I really truly... Maybe it's because people have outgrown the genre,

which usually doesn't happen, because genre is somewhat timeless. Yeah, sure. But maybe Adam Sandler and co. operate in a faction of comedy films that just have truly no... Like, there's no place for them anymore. No, but they know what they're doing.

Do they though? They're creating to a formula. Do you think Adam Sandler gives a fuck that we're doing this conversation right now? He's just sitting in a house with his wife and kids watching. He's like, listen to this song. It's called About Piece of Shit Car. I used to be hilarious. And his kids are going, you are hilarious, Dad. What about... Yeah song it's called about piece of shit car i used to be hilarious and it's because going you are hilarious dad yeah what about yeah it's kind of funny like

to compare adam sandler to someone like steve martin who is still a person who did shit movies and stuff and you know has been working ever since he was young but but he still has um a need for creative output in other ways he didn't he didn't help he didn't single-handedly helm like a ceaseless torrent of shit movies like he that's true they weren't from his production house he was sort of gambling on certain projects and hoping somewhere although i reckon cheaper by the dozens fucking dope i really dig that movie i actually haven't seen it but i love bonnie hunt i love bonnie it would come out looking very good after this this movie but yeah this is a good point

as well though have you ever discussed the fact that this is a fucking sequel as well what do you mean discussed it in what regard we've discussed a lot

of things over the last 24 episodes to be fair when I first saw Grown Ups the trailer for Grown Ups I'd be like oh I'd see that

kind of as a joke go along to the cinema to watch that and so I really reckon once you've finished this 52 weeks you would watch Grown Ups and you'd be like holy shit this is actually a terrible movie but sequels just have

an incredible way of being insanely bad and obviously at the house, is it different people? is my question it is quite different Rob Schneider's different as in even production it is all the same but the reason really Rob Schneider's oh no no

but as in even production like is it same director same writer same director really just real briefly

just a quick side step um uh speaking of Rob Schneider apparently Nick is his

the character Nick in the film is the brother of Rob Schneider's character that is referenced precisely zero times in the movie only the brother of Rob Schneider's character. That is referenced precisely zero times in the movie.

I only found out about that from the internet. That was a post-production decision. They were like, well, maybe if we make him his brother it'll make more sense. We don't need to reference it. We'll just know and say so in interviews. It's insane. In reference to you talking about the sequel, Rose,

that was pretty much the reason we chose Grown Ups 2, was because what could possibly be worse than Grown Ups? Yeah. Put a 2 on there. Yeah. All right, Tim, we're running out of time. Your shining light, please. The Lamensofts house is at number 116,

which was a flat that I stayed in in Newtown, Wellington, 116 Daniel Street, and I dug that flat. Made it nostalgia. Made you nostalgic. Yeah. That was a terrible sentence. Mine was when David Spade's at the train stop about to pick up his son,

there's a shot of him, like there's shots from both sides of him. There's one from the angle that the train's coming in. There's this couple hanging out behind him who look like they're going to get on the train yeah as the train pulls in it becomes obvious that the last carriage is going to land on them and there's no door in and they're just standing there looking at this train without any way of getting in and then the shot changes so you can't see them again and it goes back and they've just disappeared like it's

like they just gave up on getting on the train because there wasn't a door immediately in front of them that's so great. Are these good things? Yeah, this is what we like from the movie this week. So, Rose, I'll just explain what The Shining Light is. So we got really concerned that if we just continually, episode after episode for the entirety of the episode, talk about how shit the movie is, we'd go insane prematurely. So we just like to pick one thing that we enjoyed in the movie from our most recent watch. Right. maturely so we just like to pick one thing that we enjoyed in the movie from our most recent watch right i think um well one of my long-lasting favorites one of the two times i've seen the first half of this film is well i would what i noticed is that when john luvitz comes in

to the class with his jet obviously he's a janitor and stuff i didn't see in the first one that he fully brings his mop and yeah you know, think halfway into the room, like right next to the girls. Oh yeah. There's no way that they couldn't have seen him. And also the mirrors in front of them. There's no way they couldn't have seen him come in with that mop and then come through.

Like how fucking stupid must this woman be? Woman in the world of this movie of this weird subspecies. I know. And, but, but I mean, I, to turn into a shining light,

my favorite line, one of my favourite lines is when he's exiting and says to the gym instructor, say it's true even if it isn't. I've talked about that line. It is so good. It's a great line. Yeah. It's a really good line. You've talked about ad nauseum. Well, guys.

No, you did. You picked a great one. And thank you so much for joining us. Hey, thanks for having me. I'm sorry I talked about some deep shit. I've been going through some... I loved it. Rose, can I just say quickly before you go that it's been a fucking delight hearing you and Monty wax lyrical

about some of the stuff and pick up the lion's share while I attempt to not wake up my flatmates. Oh, that's good. And I've been highly entertained by listening to you two, so I think this one's a goodie. So thank you. We're doing this one's a goodie so thank you

we're doing this in my room and Guy won't be in my room I'm trying to eat my couscous yeah Rose has been eating couscous the whole time the food's so nice they named it twice

hey a Seth Rogen quote well that's I was about to start yeah we can't talk about it now we're running out of time what I will leave you with is for some reason

I've got a small biography of Simon Barnett up on my screen right now at New Zealand On Screen dot com. Simon Barnett, for those of you who don't know, he won the Best Presenter Award in the 1993 New Zealand Television Awards. And we'll just leave with a quote from him apropos of nothing. Okay. Being a radio broadcaster is a great job for me because i love people everyone's got a story to tell and i really enjoy hearing their stories

you