The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Twenty Four Point Five - SOLO (Lost Bet)

Episode Date: November 28, 2016

SPONSORED BY AUDIBLE.COMTimbly ventures in the cold We Are Your Friends wilderness by himself after losing a bet in the previous episode. Talk of super villain baby cryers, vomit-filled bathrooms and... dried up cake await you. Plus, an overly extended metaphor to describe the film involving aeroplanes. Let Batman's despair be your podcast enjoyment!Trailer: The Male Gayz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a Little Empire podcast. Visit us at littleempirepodcast.com and on Instagram at littleempirepodcasts. Are you going to play that dastardly intro again? Ow! This movie's still fine. There's a colleague who passed out. One of them dies, that guy's screw. One of them's a hothead, his name is Jay.
Starting point is 00:00:20 One of them looks like Johnny Depp, and his name is Johnny Depp. Classic Maximum Joseph. Agree! Ah! You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to The Worst Idea of All Time, featuring special guest Justin Batt for episode number 24.5. number 24.5 um i imagine this episode will be called something resembling uh solo or lost bet something like that because that's what's happened i've watched the movie by myself
Starting point is 00:00:53 uh in the little empire studios all of my lonesome no guy montgomery because i lost a bet in the last episode which true fans will know and if you're not a true fan i don't begrudge you that uh the show is nonsense the worst idea of all time for newcomers is a format in which generally guy and i watch the same movie once a week every week and keep reviewing it uh this is our third and final year of the worst idea of all time and if you've been with us for a little while i thank you for staying on board uh it's a great pleasure to do this for you every week bit of a pain in the ass this week it was a pretty depressing watch uh just by yourself once you've seen a movie over you know 24 times you know you get it i get what movie's about. I get what it's trying to do. And I mean, I admire their ambition
Starting point is 00:01:51 and I like the ambition that's gone into it. I like that they had a purpose, that they tried to exact that purpose. There's obviously some misguided skill and experience that's gone into this film what I would say is that they did not perfectly execute what they aimed to achieve anyway I'm getting ahead of myself let me let me see the scene let me paint a picture for you it's a blastery overcast day here in Auckland New Zealand God's Own Aotearoa and this was
Starting point is 00:02:29 not something that I was looking forward to uh lost a bet with Guy on the last episode knew that this was coming up and I've been putting it off for some time I was going to watch the movie the other day uh on Friday night Today's Monday is when I'm recording this. And I didn't do it because a guy had double booked himself for two comedy gigs and made me host one of them for him while he hosted this other event that I wanted to go to. So he kind of fucked me there as well. And I was planning on watching the movie that that night but I was uh before I went and hosted the the gig for him but I was just so mad at him for screwing me out of uh what what he was doing is he was hosting a film
Starting point is 00:03:19 festival or a film competition grand final for something in New Zealand called the 48-hour film competition which is a fantastic contest that we put on every year I actually won it one year a few years ago not to brag but there it is I've already bragged now so I can't take that back that's on the record guy was hosting it had a great time I was in a far smaller theater than him uh hosting a another comedy gig but it was a good time i enjoyed myself i was just pissed off at guy that i couldn't see the grand national final of the 48 hour film competition but look to the task at hand we are your friends uh a movie an experience mainly just a soundtrack with some pictures put to it because if there was one thing that struck me by myself just engaged with the screen for the
Starting point is 00:04:13 last 90 or so minutes it was that and this has never hit me quite as um strongly before but we've always recognized that the pacing really takes a hit at a certain point in the movie you you go in hell for leather you're on this freight train of a movie we're picking up steam there's good efficient storytelling happening at the start we're meeting all the characters we get their motivations we understand sort of some kind of trajectory for this film plot. And then everything grinds to an obscene halt as if someone has missed the clutch while they've shifted gears. And it's like if you were driving an 18-wheeler and you just hear it going down from fourth to first. A clunky, horrible, hard on on the ears you know something's broken mess you experience you feel it you feel it in your bones and the point in which i experienced that
Starting point is 00:05:14 happening this time because i'm not sure if we've ever pinpointed the exact moment but i feel like i've got a good handle on it this time because for me this time watching the movie solo for the 20 i think fifth time um it was the moment when zuccoli comes out of his pcp fueled dream i was going to call a nightmare but it isn't really because he's kind of having a lot of fun it's the sequence where there's um a lot of rotoscope involved that kind of goes into this animated sequence and uh it kind of cuts in between real life action of the party being shot and and zuccoli uh being like this animated image and everyone at the party being animated and stuff it's just this quick cut sequence it's pretty neat it's good it's a little bit of visual variety which is a good thing in a
Starting point is 00:06:05 movie like this so we do that and then he kind of falls down like he's dropping off of a cliff like he's dropping into a pool of water back first that's sort of what we're seeing and hearing actually i think there's even some water sound effects uh as the cartoon body of Zac Efron falls down into this kind of imaginary cartoon body of water and the next moment he is we don't know this yet but he's waking up in James Reed from the feelers house on his couch in his lounge room and I think it's the first bit of the movie that we experience where there is silence there is no dialogue for a hot minute and there is no soundtrack and everything up until then has been uh you know repartee with these generation y dudes who are just trying to make their way in the world figure out who they are and make a
Starting point is 00:07:05 quick buck along the way or just some pumping electronic dance music to carry us across the void of this terrible script but in a moment it all gets stripped away there is no soundtrack there is no dialogue we just have zack efron passed out on a couch. And it feels like that is a critical moment for the pacing of this film. Everything just falls away. We do that fifth gear to first gear transition without the clutch being touched. And you know what, guys? It feels like the fucking gearbox is going to be ripped asunder and just fall out the chassis of this 18-wheeler of a movie.
Starting point is 00:07:43 You know? You've got to be careful putting Zac Efron at the head of this 18 wheeler of a movie you know you've got to be careful putting zach efron at the head of a film because that is a powerful engine to drive a vehicle and you've got to be ready for that you've got to have you could have all the wheels you've got to have the rubber on the wheels is what you've got to have you've got to have a sound script which comprises both a coherent plot correct pacing and believable dialogue you've got to execute it with some good actors you've got to have skillful practitioners in the art of filmmaking i'm talking camera people sound recordists editors post-production people people people doing coloring. I don't understand
Starting point is 00:08:27 that, but what I do understand is that apparently it's a big part of films. You've got to color it right afterwards. You've got to get that color to communicate the emotion of the scene. And some of those bits come together in this film, and some of them do not. In some ways, it reminds me of uh grown-ups too a film which i myself have seen at least 52 times um potentially 53 because i feel like when guy fell asleep i would kind of text the both of us and that i had to bear the brunt of his bad times um anyway i won't i won't begrudge him that i'll begrudge him this but i won't begrudge him that I'll begrudge him this but I won't begrudge him that
Starting point is 00:09:06 but actually I won't begrudge him this bonus watch that I've had to do solo anyway because it was my big mouth that got me into this mess I've just got to accept that and move on but with grown-ups too we said this season one you can go back
Starting point is 00:09:18 and listen to me saying it again and again you have to sign up to how you can get a free trial listen to the first season if you haven't already it's in a lot of ways a competently put together film i can see everything the lighting is great i'm not left wondering what this person's face looks like because it's in shadow there are some people who know how to make a film working on that set you know but the missing bit of the car is a plot and really a sort of normal script um maybe normal is not the right
Starting point is 00:09:57 word but like intelligible there's some stuff that doesn't make any sense like there's no there's no person in the real world that i've met who i could ever imagine delivering the kind of responses to things that happen out loud that happen in grown-ups too um very strange maybe that's reflective of the tiny bubble that i live in i don't know maybe there are bits of america that exist like grown-ups to the universe or the grown-ups universe and i'm just so sheltered in my ivory tower here in new zealand that what i have mistaken to be idiocy and kind of lowbrow humor is actually just just a different way of experiencing life and living on earth that I just haven't had a lot of exposure to.
Starting point is 00:10:48 It's possible. It's possible. But my read on it is, you know, all I can judge the world on is through my own eyes. I can't put myself in someone else's shoes unless I walk them. And I have not walked the shoes that would justify the movie Grown Ups 2. And there are parallels with we are your friends because there's a lot of stuff that happens in this movie where it's like i get that you've made a film with people who know how to make films but you guys haven't quite pulled it off it's it's as if um you're watching a jumbo jet where there's all the equipment all the machinery is there and the pilot's just not a hundred percent sure how to get the thing to lift off so he's just kind of like
Starting point is 00:11:31 pulled down the lever which makes it go forward the thrusters are on but he's not picking up the speed or he's or he's not adjusting the flaps right for it to take off at any point and it's jarring it's confusing you get bamboozled in the first i don't know 20 minutes or so of the film because you've got a lot of confidence in it because you're seeing the mechanics of the plane you're seeing a twin engine 747 that boeing has put together with all their years of experience and engineering now and you can't see the pilot you can only see the plane but the pilot becomes apparent when the thing tries to take off and it can't. And that's this movie.
Starting point is 00:12:09 That's We Are Your Friends. Can't take off. It can't get its big, grey, steel wings off the ground to take you to another place. And most movies that do well, this one did not do well by the way you can look that up you can google that from memory it was a real box office bomb most movies that you will enjoy that you will remember that are kind of indelible marks on your film memory your history of cinema and your own brain they will be the jet engine that is correctly calibrated at the right angle to take that plane up in the air and you will soar with it and this is just a big heavy hunk of metal with a big jet engine
Starting point is 00:12:53 that never takes you into the sky and it's disappointing it's disappointing because you feel like all the bits are there uh and it just never quite comes to fruition now look it's it's on my shoulders as a solo man this week to um to do all the business the business of the podcast this week so i'm gonna do it i'm not gonna i'm not gonna wimp out of uh that great responsibility so here is my shining light and we have discussed this in previous episodes of the podcast, but I don't think I've ever mentioned it as a shining light of mine. So here it is. Brunches on me is a line that Paige utters to the boys
Starting point is 00:13:35 when he sees them in the diner in the initial bit of the movie when you think that jet is going to take off into the skies. And what I love is that it is clearly night time like if i had to guess based on uh what we're seeing outside the lighting and whatnot it's after midnight it's like 12 30 1 a.m something like that and we know this because they go to all the trouble of showing us page's very expensive looking vehicle which which from memory might be a Ferrari, as he blips it with the security. You know, you hit the keyless alarm thing.
Starting point is 00:14:12 Blip, blip. And Johnny Depp has his famous parlor trick of whistling at it. You know, he's... I can't remember what the line is. You'd think I'd have it by now. But he's referencing how much money Paige makes. And he goes, indicating that everyone should look at this very flashy, expensive vehicle.
Starting point is 00:14:31 And we do. And it is surrounded by night. The only vehicle that has been more surrounded by night is Kit from Knight Rider. Because that was driven at night by Michael Knight. That's two times the night. This that was driven at night by Michael Knight that's two times the night this one was just at night but I love that page says to the boys
Starting point is 00:14:51 as they're seated eating what is definitely an after midnight supper kind of I don't even know how you describe that meal I would describe it as a pre-sleep eat that is the meal you have before you go to bed and it is way after dinner. You can't call it dinner.
Starting point is 00:15:08 It's probably way past supper. Supper seems like about a 9 p.m. to me. The pre-sleep eat, and he says, hey, you know what, boys? Brunch is on me. And there's something fucking baller about confusing the time that much. That's what I love about Paige.
Starting point is 00:15:24 He's confused. He doesn't understand how the world works he thinks you're supposed to have sex with diamonds and eat concrete and that brunch is served in the middle of the night he doesn't understand the ways of the world but he delivers his unique mistaken insight on on his experience of things with such a lot of confidence and swagger that you are along for the ride. And it is, it's special. Don't know how else to describe it.
Starting point is 00:15:57 Seeing someone who's that wrong with that much confidence, you can't help but be a little bit swept up in it. And for that, my, my the actor whose name i forget uh but he was in the accountant and apparently he's in some good tv shows which ones escaped me off the top of my head page a good actor given a garbage script convincing me for the last 24 watches that what he was saying was correct and it was only on the 25th when i was watching this movie by myself after a couple of whiskeys to cut through the impermeable depression that was watching a film for the 25th time by yourself um that i realized that he he's called the time of
Starting point is 00:16:41 day and the meal that is appropriate for all wrong. And I love that about him. So what is in some ways a mistake is actually the shining light. And that makes that light shine even brighter. Because I love it when a mistake can be highlighted for what it is and celebrated for being different. You know, I think the French have a word for it. And I've never known what that word is. But it's like the the mark on cindy
Starting point is 00:17:07 crawford's face she's got like a a nice little freckle or a kind of mini mole thing and it's uh that concept that the imperfection is the thing that makes it all the more perfect uh leonard cohen rip had a lyric in one of his songs, which I think was, I'm going to butcher it, but he was noting how the cracks are important because the cracks is how you let the light come in on something. So it's a beautiful sentiment, and I feel like I've put a lot of weight on Page's miscalculation of what the time is.
Starting point is 00:17:44 It's also possible he's just on a lot of weight on Paige's miscalculation of what the time is. It's also possible he's just on a lot of cocaine and has lost track of time and genuinely believes it to be brunch. It's also possible that the diner they are in is similar to a Denny's but independently run based on what I can see. There's not a lot of branding, not a lot of logo, not a lot of bright color palette which would indicate a franchise flashing around their surroundings to me uh and that they actually have ordered brunch like you can do at a denny's but at any time of the day so it in fact is one in the morning but they're eating waffles a la mode which is with a little scoop of ice cream on there thank you little miss sunshine for educating me on that so that is a brunch meal but they are just having it at the at the wrong time at any rate whatever has happened here
Starting point is 00:18:31 it was my shining light this watch that is for damn sure um now in the middle of this episode as always from here on in i would like to take take a brief break to have a message from our sponsor. And that sponsor is audible.com, ladies and gentlemen. We've made it. And by we, I mean me because I'm by myself this time. And I would love to tell you about this fantastic provider of premium on-demand audio content that is www.audible.com and specifically audible.com slash try now is where you want to go uh listen guys have you ever been in a situation where you want to consume a book but reading just isn't for you i know i have because uh i seem to suffer from
Starting point is 00:19:22 some kind of mental condition where if i read like three pages of a book, I will fall asleep. It is like some text induced narcolepsy. It is insane. I don't know what has got me to that point or what kind of overstimulation I've exposed my brain to, to condition it, to engage in this phenomenon every single time. But if I just sit there and read i will fall asleep in record time takes me a very long time to finish a book audible.com slash try now is the answer because audible.com are audio books read by skilled people with fantastic voices for example my favorite author isaac asimov has a very famous series of books called the Foundation Series.
Starting point is 00:20:09 They're a great sci-fi series. I'm attempting to read them at the moment. But I think a better idea would be listening to them on Audible because at least the first one is read by a man called Scott Brick. And who is Scott Brick? He was just a man who was described as having a golden voice by Audiophile magazine. And he's read over 600 audiobooks. This guy knows what he's doing. A fantastic voice, a brilliant book, a sensational author, and most importantly, an amazing service. If you go to audible.com slash try now right now,
Starting point is 00:20:44 you will get a free audio book with a 30 day trial. That's where you sign up. A-U-D-I-B-L-E dot com slash try now. Thank you for sponsoring this show, Audible. And you're back with just me,
Starting point is 00:21:00 Tim Batt, on episode 20, where did we say we were up to? 4.5 I think of the worst idea of all time just Timbo all by himself I wrote down a couple of notes which I'm going to refer to now
Starting point is 00:21:15 just to get me back on track here's one here's an observation that I had engaging with We Are Your Friends by myself this week now we've talked about the fact that richard is the name of the kid that zuccoli when he's talking to uh tanya romero over here's on the phone so he's he's in that call center for gold star realty solutions dick full of diamonds
Starting point is 00:21:41 mouth full of concrete when he hears a baby crying and in the back of tanya's call and he said sounds like sounds like you've got a little monster there he doesn't repeat it he doesn't stutter but i did but that's not in the movie he said sounds like you've got a little monster there and she said yes it's my son richard and he flips out because his dad's name was richard as if everyone has their own individual name. Read a fucking book, would you please, Ziccoli, or better yet, go to audible.com and listen to one. Anyway, there's a lot of people out there and not so many names is the point I'm trying to convey. But the observation I had this week is when you hear that kid crying in the background, it's clearly a baby. You can tell
Starting point is 00:22:22 it's a baby. It has the cadence and the pitch of a baby. It's a baby's cry. This is a kid I would estimate to be maybe six months, maybe nine months at the top. It's that kind of cry. And yet, later in the movie, when we go and visit Tanya Romero's house, when Paige and Zicoli are there in person through nefarious means to take her property away from her, really,
Starting point is 00:22:48 to swindle her, to bamboozle her, like snake oil salesman of yesteryear, we see a shot of the famous Richard Romero, the kid of Tanya. And I tell you what, that kid, he's about six or seven years old. He's at a desk, he's about six or seven years old he's at a desk he's coloring in and it's a hard thing for me to rectify it in my head there's not a lot of options here uh one is that inextricably this is a six or seven year old kid which has a unusually and peculiarly young
Starting point is 00:23:22 sounding cry when he gets upset he reverts to infancy and he sounds like a nine months old which to be honest is kind of an incredible skill bordering on superhero level ability because that would be an amazing way to get people's attention in a crowd imagine if he carried that into adolescence if he was like a 25 year old dude and uh he imagine if he broke up with a girlfriend as like a 25 year old guy and he starts crying and he cries with the exact pitch of a six month old baby how fucking terrifying would that be as the partner of richard romero it would be so scary what a frightening realization to come to like you would assume that he's pumping it through a speaker somewhere in the room but then you're looking at him and it's matching up perfectly with the way
Starting point is 00:24:18 that his mouth's moving and you can't quite figure out what's going on in your head is there anything more emotionally affecting than a baby's cry it is hardwired into our dna into our biology to respond to that in a very immediate visceral way and so to have that to be able to just call upon as a superpower as an adult i think would be really an amazingly powerful thing um and as we know from spider-man with with great power comes great responsibility so then it raises the question does richard romero grow up to be a villain or a hero because i guess there are some situations where uh you could kind of apply the baby's cry to draw attention of a crowd to someone you know like the bystander effect where if someone's in trouble something's going wrong someone's being attacked or something but there's a large crowd
Starting point is 00:25:10 around everyone will just assume that someone else is going to step in but because everyone sort of makes that assumption and they don't want to put themselves out there as being the one person who will step in and put a stop to it and put themselves on the line as a result of that like nothing happens there is just this paralysis of the crowd when no one wants to take any action what if it's like that and this guy has the ability to to cut through that glass of the bystander effect by virtue of his 25 year old nine month old cry that he is able to call upon at any given moment so i guess what richard would then have to do is insert himself into a situation where people are in trouble and then uh i guess the way that i've explained this ability is that he doesn't actually help
Starting point is 00:25:57 but he is like a human siren that draws people in because then someone thinks that a baby is under attack or you know know, a baby's in trouble. And then they step in and help the actual adult person who's, you know, suffering some bad circumstances at that given point in time. Or, or he could be a villain, you know? It'd make for one hell of a bank robber do you know what the ultimate diversion is a baby crying especially if he's wearing a balaclava like bank robbers do so he rolls in there identity hidden the security cameras are on him he's part of a small team of say four dudes that he's buddied up with and uh just when they kind of like pull out the guns and the in the note that says give
Starting point is 00:26:43 me all your money and in the big sack which has got a dollar sign on it and they hand it over to the teller and then just to kind of like really knock them for six he starts crying just wailing like an infant and then everyone's confused they're like what's happened there's a baby in here there isn't a baby in here if he managed to combine that with a learned skill of ventriloquism he would be able to throw his voice his baby's cry across the room so that when the police come they get confused into thinking that a baby is in the scene and they're like searching for it so when the cops are like radioing into that one hero citizen who's managed to pull out their cell phone and
Starting point is 00:27:25 engage with the police to let them know what's happening richard romero's super villain is there to be able to throw the situation in the robber's favor by um throwing his voice across the room and then people are kind of like looking for this baby that they can all kind of hear but no one can quite see where it is and everyone would have their head down against the ground because that's what you do when you're robbing a bank anyway right you get everyone to like press themselves against the ground so it'd be very confusing and it would add uh no police want to mess with a baby you know what i mean in a hostage situation you really want to be as careful as possible but you throw a crying infant into a bank that doesn't actually exist,
Starting point is 00:28:05 but for the intents and purposes of the police, they think it does. That is an incredibly complicating factor. That is extenuating circumstances. You're going to have to call in your expert hostage negotiator from that police department, or maybe the FBI,
Starting point is 00:28:24 to try and sort that out and then maybe you've got enough leverage to be able to take a bit of the money and escape without getting charged I don't know how those negotiations work that is just one possibility I've cooked up in my head I assume that's probably not what the negotiator is there to do I assume they're there to bring a peaceful end to the situation so they can put them away but maybe they've never had to deal with a dude who's got both the gift of ventriloquism and the gift of being able to cry like a six-month-old baby while they're a 25 year old man robbing a bank before you know we haven't experienced this before so um anyway it's probably more likely that they just kind of
Starting point is 00:29:08 forgot what age he was in the movie and grabbed two different kids um for the sound effect and for the actor but whatevs look i want to talk about a detail that's in the film um that we've we've never noticed before i've never noticed before uh there is a famous scene you all know it no one loves it it's the scene after zicoli and somaly have hooked up at the music festival they've gotten a hotel room together in one plush suite the presidential suite it looks like it's got a grand piano in the back that we can see there a steinway maybe you know a dude can dream and one thing that i'd never noticed is while they're um eating their breakfast of uh a cheeseburger and whatever else zicoli ordered delivering the worst dialogue in the film that inspired a bit called no but
Starting point is 00:29:59 because it strikes us as being very terribly delivered improvisation. In the back of the shot, we can see in soft focus, a little mini Christmas tree. And at no other point in the film, so far as I've ever seen, do we have an indication as to what time of year this movie is set until now. That is taking us straight into at least the arsehole end of november the thick of december or if the hotel is very slovenly maybe mid-january at tops we are dealing with the winter months and the thing about california
Starting point is 00:30:42 where this thing is set is that they could get away with that because it's always sunny in california ignore the tv show titles that you may have heard telling you about other places in america that are always sunny it's always sunny in california i've been there in winter i think i might have been there in summer as well and the only difference was how hot it got but it was sunny all the time and now we know that we are your friends is actually a christmas movie it was aiming to be right up there with charlie brown's christmas it was aiming to be there with i don't know any other christmas movies you guys. Can't remember a single one. What a heathen I am.
Starting point is 00:31:29 There's got to be some... I think... What was that Arnie one about the toy? It wasn't last action here. Oh, God. What was it called? Turboman. He was like... He was this character, Turboman.
Starting point is 00:31:41 I know there's going to be a ton of people listening to this right now going, you fucking moron. That movie was called... But guess what, guys? I'm not as smart as you. I can't recall what the film was called. But We Are Your Friends was supposed to be the modern era, brand new entry into the canon of genre of film that is Christmas classics.
Starting point is 00:32:04 I just saw Bad Santa 2 very recently. Tell you what, I was in the right mood to see it. I was a little bit tired from memory. I was a little bit hungover, and I accepted that film for what it was, and it was fucking funny. It was just the right amount of stupid for me. I would put it in a class with old school and super bad.
Starting point is 00:32:23 It's not quite as well done as those, but it's just very heavy on the gags. And for me, the gags landed at the time. Judge me as you will. Some of you will see that film and be like, I no longer trust anything Tim has to say. And I cannot begrudge you that. Ladies and gents,
Starting point is 00:32:39 more business to get done in this episode of the podcast. Getting sentimental with james reed an important segment a segment we do every week usually uh introduced with a little ditty that guy and i uh sing neither of us can sing particularly well actually i shouldn't speak for guy i haven't heard him oh i've heard him he's got a register he's got i think he's got a range that he could probably nail if he, you know, gave it heaps. I'm not going to do the singing this week, you guys. I'm not going to do it.
Starting point is 00:33:11 Too embarrassed by my own voice. But I will deliver the segment, getting sentimental with James Reid. Here's what I believe is in the MacBook Pro box that he gives to Zuccoli. I theorize that it is the same birthday cake we encounter later in the film when it is James Reid from The Feelers' birthday, but it is a dehydrated version of the cake. So, what do we know about cake? When it's good, it's moist. What does moist mean?
Starting point is 00:33:47 Moist means it's wet. What does wet mean? It means it contains a lot of water. So what happens if you get a lovely, moist, wet, full of water cake and you dehydrate the fuck out of it? It shrinks incredibly, down to a size where you could put it inside a MacBook Pro box. What comes next? Well, if you've bought it yourself for your own birthday, I think we can all agree that's a pretty self-serving gift, and it also meets the variable of being sentimental. Because what is a birthday cake if not sentimental? It is a symbol that you give a shit that someone was born on that calendar day of the year many years ago and
Starting point is 00:34:26 that's all it is it's a symbol it is sentimentality at its core filled with sugar often with chocolate if you're lucky sprinkles are also involved so we dehydrate that cake that symbol we we pack it down we put it in a macbook pro box uh we chuck that sucker in the microwave when we're ready to do it up with a glass of water the microwaves vibrate uh the water molecules it heats up it transfers into the cake the cake puffs out into what a cake is supposed to look like whack that puppy into the fridge so we can reset that icing and then uh what we have is james reed from the feeler going out and getting so drunk with his girlfriend right that he forgets that he has given zicole the cake to give back to him he's he's he's blanked on it because that's how wasted he is he comes back
Starting point is 00:35:20 and he opens that fridge door sees the cake and is surprised to see something that he in a roundabout way has given himself through the vessel of zikoli the crying dj it's sentimental it's self-serving it's a dehydrated birthday cake in a macbook pro box okay i've written down another note which simply says what did happen in that bathroom to johnny oh yeah that's what that's about okay so just before squirrel dies and i feel like this is why we've glossed over this moment just before we find out that squirrel has kicked the bucket sorry Sorry for the spoiler, but we're up to week 24 and a half now, guys. Stay with me. Johnny Depp comes out.
Starting point is 00:36:10 This is like we're partying, we're partying. It's the night before we're partying, we're partying. We're smoking drugs. There's girls with their tops off. There's a swimming pool. We're having fun. We're drinking. We're singing Santeria.
Starting point is 00:36:23 We're having a good time. It goes black. We pop back back up it's daytime now uh the sun is out we're all feeling worse for wear zikoli the crying dj wakes up he looks in a terrible state jarhead wakes up he sounds in a terrible state he starts talking dehydrated gibberish nonsense to his friend. You can barely understand what the dude's saying. Claiming that he's had sexual exploits with some woman whose name he can't recall. And then what happens next in that sequence is Johnny Depp walks into the room. And he says.
Starting point is 00:37:03 He says something like you won't believe what happened in that bathroom or it's words to that effect and it makes that world famous whistle sound effect that he can do on command, does that again and my question is what did happen
Starting point is 00:37:19 in that bathroom Johnny Depp what went down what have you seen because I've had a picture in my brain of like what it could be someone's vomited maybe from too much alcohol and drugs they've partied too hard and there's spew all over the room maybe there's like a crazy amount of spew that's hit the walls and even the ceiling in some sort of projectile vomiting maneuver someone's had too much to eat they've engaged in too much party and now they've spewed party back up into the bathroom uh maybe maybe
Starting point is 00:37:53 the bathroom has been punished in the worst way imaginable alcohol uh as we know is uh it's it's got a terrible effect you know It's a diuretic. It'll make you piss out, and it'll also give you diarrhea if you drink enough alcohol. So maybe some nastiness has happened there. But maybe we're not using our imagination enough because this is a movie of twists and turns. So maybe something really crazy,
Starting point is 00:38:21 maybe something wonderful has happened in that bathroom, and we never find out because in the next breath we're discovering that our good friend squirrel has kicked the bucket and i for one am very curious to find out what has happened in that bathroom i think i'm going to leave it there um i appreciate i appreciate you guys being here. I don't appreciate Guy not being here. This is Tim Batts signing off for hopefully his only solo mission in this grand voyage
Starting point is 00:38:52 we call the worst idea of all time. Look, it's been something bringing you this 24th and a half episode and I hope that I've got the number of the episode correct. Who knows? Only time will tell. But I would like to thank our sponsor, audible.com,
Starting point is 00:39:07 which you can get a free 30-day membership and one book, one whole book for yourself at audible.com slash try now if you go there right now. And we'll catch you very soon in a real episode with both of us. God bless you and take care out there. This movie's still fine. with both of us. God bless you and take care out there. You forget that films are supposed to have a point Thanks for listening to this podcast
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