The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Twenty Four - Shit

Episode Date: August 12, 2015

Guy and Tim are separated still by thousands of kms (or miles, if you like) and several timezones but NOTHING will stop them watching Sex and The City 2 for the two dozenth time. The boys are ups...et but sobre. Depressed but communicating.Some fans got in touch who watched the movie with their reviews. Coffee Guy gets a late and quick but still very meta mention this week. And a scandal that Tim's labelling TateGate looks at what might bind Brady The Rat King with Aidan Shaw's kids... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 🎵 Hello and welcome along to what is categorically at this point in my life Season 2 unacceptable you didn't enjoy that watch fella it wasn't even like last week where i actually felt anger and vitriol this week i just i just became deranged i just i couldn't interface with what was being laid down yeah i uh i had trouble with that as well. And then I just started like really zoning in and then zoning back out. I noticed things I'd never seen before. Well, that's exciting. What episode is this? This is the 24.
Starting point is 00:01:14 Four, right. Jesus. So I'll just kick off with this as a little thing I noticed. Have you ever seen before the fact that when sir jessica parker's talking on a cell phone there's a pink piece of cloth that they put between her face and the iphone no it's real weird every time she's doing a phone call there's this like yeah it's a piece of cloth that's always there i don't know what that's protecting from i reckon maybe she's a germaphobe oh shit do you reckon wouldn't that
Starting point is 00:01:46 just wouldn't be willing to work around it you'd be better off disinfecting the uh the surface of the iphone though surely i suspected it was something to do with like chafing because they would shoot for so long with those fake phone call scenes but i'm chafing a lot yeah smooth it's smooth glass you can't chafe on glass that's crazy yeah I'm spitballing here I don't know I think I think maybe it's either Sergius or the character of Kerry Bradshaw is a germaphobe and I actually respect that I had a friend who used to wipe he used to wipe uh he used to wipe down everything what did he do he'd put napkins across the whole table at McDonald's and napkins underneath everything on the tray
Starting point is 00:02:27 before he could eat it. It was insane. Isn't it funny how you get people like that in life who are very particular about things like germs and that sort of carry on, but they'll still eat at McDonald's. They'll still go there. They'll still eat the food,
Starting point is 00:02:39 but they'll just find how to make it work for them. We're very adaptable. Well, then this guy um about i don't know a year later when he was uh going through a binge drinking phase at university drank a cup of his own vomit so it's like what's it all for nothing wow i once i knew a guy uh at a party once who ate a tiny little bit of his own poo for like 12 beers oh which is the memory he never even got the beers that is promised of all the sort of story swapping and things i've heard across everyone's university career eating your own poo yeah that's for 12 beers that's
Starting point is 00:03:19 probably the lowest yeah i it took him a long time to shake that for from his sort of persona yeah well because it's not it didn't sound like it was forced like he wasn't a victim no bullied from the telling that that's a voluntary decision yeah i hear that it was sort of a contractual obligation that he entered into of well relative soundness of mind and uh you know no coercion physical threats of violence or anything you don't come back from that it's hard to he's he's made a good go of it but it's i would estimate you know the guy do you still talk to him uh i i don't he lives in a different town than the one i live in he doesn't do you think does he have a spouse do you think um i know that
Starting point is 00:04:02 he was with the partner for a very long time and i believe they're still together yeah do you think um i know that he was with the partner for a very long time and i believe they're still together yeah do you do you know if the partner knows that the person that she's with or he's with ate their own shit yeah yeah absolutely she's she's aware because she's been on the scene for a very long time i've done embarrassing things in my time in fact i'm on record on this podcast as having shat myself as recently as within a year ago yeah but i can live i can live with that knowledge i don't think i could walk around knowing i've eaten some of my own we've gone we've gone like blue very quickly fyi on on that note of when you shat yourself when we went to los angeles last year for the first season are you cool with the fact that i've
Starting point is 00:04:43 started telling that story on stage because uh i have and i am naming you every time i tell it uh that's news to me tim sorry i probably should have checked that out with you first i'm okay with it that's good i always think that the um i always think that shitting yourself stories kind of are the possession of the person who shat themselves and saying that though it never occurred to me to say it on stage so bloody lather up mate and get involved
Starting point is 00:05:13 sorry mate it's your story but it just came out one night and it was it worked quite well so we're running with that at the moment look that's okay if you haven't listened to the podcast before it's not usually this entrenched in feces although uh pretty much it's a podcast in which tim batten myself garmick on we watch and review the movie sex in the city 2 every week for a year which is
Starting point is 00:05:36 roughly about 52 weeks too long for the podcast to be happening yeah now funnily enough though at one point i wrote a little song during the movie which was pretty much it was called this is a this is a bowl of shit in the middle of my day okay this is four women shitting in a bowl in the middle of my day i just remember melody i just like to remind everyone as well that we're still on opposite sides of the world. So guys in Edinburgh are in the thick of the world's greatest performing arts festival right now. I'm in New Zealand. What time is it where you are? Right now it is quarter past 12 a.m. That's quite late.
Starting point is 00:06:20 Do you feel alone? Very much so. Zoe's actually left town for about a week. So this is... For another man. Do you know what I've done? For a better life. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Well, no, for work, firstly. But secondly... Okay. I mean, obviously, that's the lie you'd feed someone. Anywho, my night this evening has been Going to the latest Judd Apatow Rom-com by myself Not recommended to do that And then following that up by watching
Starting point is 00:06:50 Sex and the City 2 in my bedroom By myself with everything switched off For two and a half hours Fucking terrible Terrible choice of evening events Yeah, you haven't done well I want to hear your song cheer me up mate i it was part of like a half hour stream of consciousness consciousness melody i was
Starting point is 00:07:10 creating it was sort of like for a woman shitting in a bowl in the middle of my day i i can't actually recapture it because i literally sang if anyone i actually thought it's a shame we don't use our phones because i could have periscoped this to people. I was properly going bananas today. Really? Did you lose your grip? More so than previously. I was yelling. I was yelling at the gals. Oh no. Literally yelling at my computer screen.
Starting point is 00:07:39 What were you on about? Just like, no! You don't get to introduce a pro- you don't get to say that like a lot of what they're doing they haven't earned the right they haven't earned the right to crowbar in feelings yeah into this vacuous hole vacuous hole vacuous hole we'll get to that but i do want to hear your your song first i i tried to do it i don't i i can't recapture it it was just like of the moment right but pretty much i wrote down i started writing down the lyrics as i was singing it and i got confused between the writing and the singing so in my book i've written four women in a bowl and then in parenthesis shitting and then in the middle of my day and like that's that's a note
Starting point is 00:08:29 obviously it's of the time but you know if someone was to find this this diary or this whatever it's this joke book i don't know what you'd call it at this stage i mean these are the etchings of a of unstable person. Imagine if Edinburgh, Scotland went Pompeii all of a sudden, and that was like a significant record of human activities captured forever in volcanic ash. And they were like, what were people up to back in the day? They were writing abstract poetry about women in film. And they seemed really pissed off about it.
Starting point is 00:09:06 I'd be frozen with a microphone in my hand and tears streaming down my face it was so fucking awful this week man it was uniquely like just a really bad time all around i i get what you're saying because last week it was like there was anger um there was venom yeah it was like there was anger permeating the entire watch last week and all directed it uh patrick michael king which i think was warranted when you put yourself on that triple threat title for the creds you know director producer writer oh wee you are shouldering the blame that one's a flop mate you always say that's a red flag i also i also thought i don't know if i've either of us have noticed it before but the first line where carrie's talking about moving new york and she goes i like to think of it as bc which is yeah before carrie before carrie yeah i mean you know
Starting point is 00:09:58 you're in you know you're in trouble so she's she's at the outset of this film. She's set herself up as a literal Christ figure, which is incredible because there is precisely zero sacrifices that she makes. Every whim that she wants to indulge, she does. Let's go through it. She wants to go out to the film premiere. She drags her husband along who doesn't want to go. He's just been at work all day. She wants to go to Abu Dhabi.
Starting point is 00:10:23 She just does. I'm so on board with what you're saying. I found Carrie to be a real villainous figure in this watch. I thought she's running riot. There's no impulse control on that woman. She's running into ex-boyfriends and pashing them on the mouth. She's married. What are you doing, Carrie?
Starting point is 00:10:42 And to no consequence, still has the gall to call out Big for not picking her up from the airport oh I'm sorry I'm sorry did you forget what you did and then
Starting point is 00:10:52 Charlotte she just fucking rips Charlotte like several new assholes what were once two wonderful
Starting point is 00:11:00 fleshy cheeks smooth as a baby's bottom because of that fantastic moisturiser they presumably get given to use on set. She just puts maybe fires in seven to eight new arseholes. And then she has the gall, when they're dealing with Samantha's legal problems for fucking some time-traveling Danish architect on a beach,
Starting point is 00:11:20 she just rabbits on and on about all the fucking issues for cheating on her husband. And she goes, oh, yeah. And P.S. as an addendum to this, I'm really sorry that you were right and I was going to cheat on my husband. And that I pinned it all on the fact that you're insecure about your relationship. There isn't enough attention paid to the fact that what she says to Charlotte is fucking brutal. Like when she's getting in that lift and she just says oh everyone's cheating on their partners because your marriage is in trouble it's the fucking elevator
Starting point is 00:11:50 door you're on holiday mate can you rein it in can you fucking just take it down a notch she has no control it's funny as well that you say that there's not enough made of this I'm pretty sure at this juncture Tim that the only people who have
Starting point is 00:12:05 the i mean the daunting opportunity yeah it's pretty much down to us i don't know how this is renting anymore i don't know what the numbers of watching it are i mean i last week we put out a call we said to anyone who just had two and a half hours of their life and a life so glorious that they were okay with feeling really sad for that amount of time please watch the movie so you can understand um do you want to hear i think i would love to hear one i felt the response was a little bit underwhelming and you know how much i respect that yeah really stoked to hear that everyone way to be living balanced happy lives i'm so proud of every i'm so proud of you listener because you you you're right to ignore
Starting point is 00:12:53 us we're not and we're not well all right in the midst of our aggressive fervor for you to say do you know what i don't know that these two guys are making the best life suggestions for me right now i'm not gonna do that you are on the money one man who has taken our um calls and pleased to watch the film is a guy called mike kriko who got in touch with us and this is this is what he says right from the horse's mouth holy shit i took your advice from the last podcast and watched the movie what the fuck it is the worst it's racist homophobic sexist ham-fisted in its dealings with social issues and just awful writing i couldn't get through it in one sitting and i have no idea how you guys have done it i legitimately cheered when coffee guy appeared but it instantly felt sad again because i saw how much of the movie remained
Starting point is 00:13:40 there are so many things wrong with this film and it makes me mad my appreciation for what you guys have done is increased dramatically has increased dramatically well is it i i like that your appreciation for what we're doing is increased someone made a gif of coffee guy and put it on twitter this week i was deeply upset i think it's great that they isolated the moment and have immortalized it and pretty much reduced what is watchable of the film into one seven second loop but knowing that I have to do it for about I don't know
Starting point is 00:14:14 70 hours more hey but you found out a fun fact about Coffee Guy oh yeah well I did so I looked him up in the credits right yeah so what is he credited as? In Sex and the City 2,
Starting point is 00:14:29 Coffee Guy is credited as Coffee Shop Guy. Uncredited. Coffee Shop Guy. Okay. I think that's a pretty good name for him. So we've done pretty well by putting him by default under the label of Coffee Guy. We were only one word off the production sheesh.
Starting point is 00:14:43 Yeah, it was implied he was in the coffee shop he was in the first movie also in an uncredited role as Elaine's friend now sadly as someone who is not really familiar with any of the Sex and the City franchise preceding this film
Starting point is 00:14:58 which does seem ludicrously unfair as I say it out loud now I don't know who Elaine is but I know this guy is in some way he's loud now i don't know who elaine is but i know this guy is in some way he's got it i don't know either michael i think i was gonna say he has dirt on michael patrick king and keeps leaning on him to get in the movie but it's just occurred to me maybe the reverse is true yeah maybe michael patrick king has got incriminating information on every single person involved in the production of this film.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Would not surprise me in the slightest if I found that out. That's probably one of the most plausible reasons as to why it was made right now. Though, I mean, there's no getting around the fact that our four leading ladies all would have made
Starting point is 00:15:38 a pretty substantial amount of money out of this film just by signing up to it, right? Like we can all safely assume they all came out of this like bandits yeah they did and that they have to wear um balaclavas in public now because of the service they've done to movie making worldwide now one other thing i want to bring up just while you're talking about kind of the wider franchise and whatnot is um i sent you a screenshot of something i saw online earlier this week on like an amazon review or something like that someone's asking uh where's tate
Starting point is 00:16:11 in a scandal that hitherto for will be referred to as tategate so aiden um apparently has a son that he mentions at like the end of the tv series i think it's it's i don't think he's in the first movie at all so i think this is like one of the maybe the last season one of the final episodes um of the tv show yeah and he talks about his son tate now he he names his three boys when uh carrie runs into him uh and they have dinner together homer wyatt and... Not Tate. Yeah, not Tate. Another one that's not Tate. Which is what they call them at the Aiden dinner table.
Starting point is 00:16:50 So they were going, what the fuck has happened to Aiden's son? And there's potentially a really tragic subplot that's being alluded to by the fact that Tate's no longer in the picture. Aiden's not talking about him. It's a goddamn tragedy. But it's also a tragedy that Carrie cares so little about what's going on in Aiden's life.
Starting point is 00:17:09 A man she was formerly, I understand, briefly engaged to, maybe, or something, fucking didn't even, like, question it. They were flirting so outrageously, I really don't think that any of that family stuff was registering. I mean, he takes out a photo and shows the kids to Carrie, but I don't think that that's an adorable family was going through her head.
Starting point is 00:17:31 I think it was like, wow. I'm pretty sure you've lost a son along the way. I'm sure that was heartbreaking for you. I don't know how and I don't know why, but I have a funny feeling that the Rat King Brady is somehow involved in this. have a funny feeling that the rat king brady is somehow involved in this i wouldn't be surprised to hear of tate maybe being taken as some sort of underling i think i mean i think maybe tate faked his own death to avoid any involvement in the sex and city 2 franchise right i think i think i think tate who presumably was quite young maybe two or three
Starting point is 00:18:06 but precocious to say the least yeah um maybe somehow wrote himself this is the actor who plays tate who's also coincidentally called tate yeah uh sort of fraudulently staged his own death uh and somehow got the news in front of Michael Patrick King to ensure that he would no longer be involved in the franchise. And obviously, Tate didn't want us to dig this up. Michael Patrick King, it didn't occur to him because he just took it as read that the actor and character Tate had been killed.
Starting point is 00:18:41 And he's probably gone on to work in some sort of underworld mafioso franchise alongside our rat king who every week i just want to see more and more from i know i've got a hunger for brady guy i've got a hunger for brady that i can't quash there's no quelling it i need more brady i need more brady in my life i need. I need the animated series of what Brady the Rat King's up to. I want an entirely CGI-created spinoff. Maybe a fan-made web show of what Brady's up to in the sewers. I want him in my life.
Starting point is 00:19:20 I want more Brady. I think just anything else. I think anything else i don't two two and a half hours right it's a long time it is and i just there was i think it was 45 minutes and i'm not i'm not overestimating how long i spent singing to myself today i think there were 45 minutes of chants and songs today in the montgomery camp and that's a lot i mean i chant and sing to myself you know when i'm bored or whatever sometimes but 45 minutes of sustained chanting inspired by what was happening on the screen in front of me there's a line that's being crossed here and i just i don't
Starting point is 00:19:59 i don't know what i don't know what we mean i don't know what we mean to do about this. I don't know. I don't. I just. Tim, we're not even halfway. Yeah, I know. Sometimes I feel fine about it. And this week, I'm so. Yeah. I'm just scared.
Starting point is 00:20:16 I got big pangs of fear as well watching it this time. I was like, fuck me, Struth. I can't believe we're not even halfway. Like, the 50% mark. it's fine it's like because it gets incrementally worse the more like everything's gone we have we've derived all it we've juiced that orange there's nothing left there is a husk where we have skin once existed it's all gone rung rung the sex in the city to sponge dry it's it's all gone and we've got to watch it another 20 what seven eight times what i would love to see them i would like i think the movie it wouldn't be improved but it would
Starting point is 00:20:53 certainly be a more honest exposition of the production uh if we could remove all of the foley all of the music so all we get is dialogue i i think do you have any concept for how fucking barren this movie would be were it not for soundtrack soundtrack is doing so much of the heavy lifting i know and i think that's why i want to see it i just want at least it would be honest can you imagine working the sound desk and being given this film without any of the audio underlay and being like oh you've given it yeah and michael patrick king's like okay so you're gonna think i'm crazy we're still gonna release it and i'm gonna be like 100 honest with you right now 90 of the work is on your shoulders we've done what we can i need you to fix this i need you to fix this now uh and then the
Starting point is 00:21:44 guy's like what do you want me to do and Michael Patrick King just said I don't know just put some vaguely Middle Eastern movie sounding music underneath like all of the stuff
Starting point is 00:21:53 in Abu Dhabi for a start just in case any of the audience members dip out and forget that the girls aren't in New York City anymore fuck man
Starting point is 00:22:00 I don't even I just fuck just fuckity fuck fuck you make me sick got me lit like a candlestick can't get enough of it i was i was wearing what happened to pink pink was like one of the most significant artists of our generation and i have not heard hide nor hear out of here she she chose
Starting point is 00:22:21 maybe to fade into the recesses of pop music or our finger isn't on the pulse like it used to be. I actually wrote, I think it would have been in year seven. I would have been 11 years old maybe. I wrote a music assignment on Pink and I remember it vividly because the last sentence I wrote in my music assignment about Pink was after the release of her debut album.
Starting point is 00:22:41 And the last sentence I wrote was, right now, everything looks rosy in the world of pink jesus you're good from such an early age the talent was all there just wasn't fully i couldn't disagree more but thank you very much um the thing is with pink though and i've had this conversation with people believe it or not before but she was kind of like, you know, she was the biggest artist of our time because she was so crossover. The mums loved her. The girls loved her. The boys could kind of get into it a bit as well, you know.
Starting point is 00:23:13 She was huge. She was selling records for so long. Such big numbers. She was big. I don't know that she was the biggest pop star. I don't know at any point if she was sort of categorically number one globally. Here's another bit of audience feedback from someone who, for some reason,
Starting point is 00:23:32 watched the film and got in touch with us. So I say thank you to Joseph Adams, who said, Seeing Coffee Guy was great, and almost nothing else was. I think Michael Patrick King should have one of those Muslim call-to-prayer speakers hooked up in his house
Starting point is 00:23:45 And when it goes off he has to drop to his knees And apologise to the universe for bringing this film into existence Thanks Joseph It's dramatic But I like that you've brought in elements from the film Into your punishment I know that we said to watch it And I know that it's too late for some of you
Starting point is 00:24:03 Hearing you read these back said to watch it and i know that it's too late for some of you have i take it back hearing you read these back i'm feeling guilt like every single user review that you um fire at me makes me i'm wrecked with more and more guilt yeah i definitely take it back and i already feel bad about it i don't i i'm so confused i don't think i take it back i do i i take it back on both of our behalves it was a cruel thing to say we said it in the heat of the moment it's like when your parents
Starting point is 00:24:28 are going through a divorce and they say things they don't mean that's what was happening with us we'd said a lot of things we don't mean all of them maybe
Starting point is 00:24:35 in fact not maybe definitely do not watch this film Sex and the City 2 there's nothing good for you I think maybe sit down to it what you could do
Starting point is 00:24:45 how long was the episode of Sex and the City it was on HBO were they an hour or were they 30 I think they were an hour break the movie
Starting point is 00:24:52 into 30 minute increments so what is that five five episodes you won't enjoy yourself let's think about that like what are the episodes as they are in the
Starting point is 00:25:05 film so the first half hour is um basically the wedding it's the two it's the gay couple getting hitched and how that reflects on carrie's marriage as well right i think that's our first step yeah so that's that's pretty much it's it's sex in the city challenging uh you know what what is a marriage i think they're channeling the advent of gay marriage as a sort of a um well you know we could all rewrite the we could all rewrite the rule book for ourselves sort of piggybacking in on the goodwill of gay marriage in hopes that people can get invested in Carrie and Big's seemingly fine marriage. If Carrie just fucking stopped moaning about having to eat takeout. That really fucked me off this week, Tim.
Starting point is 00:25:53 I can't do the second episode yet. That Carrie gets so upset. What really spins her in circles is when Big comes home from work with the Sobu Noodle takeout. Yep, Sobu Express. Sobu Express. And he puts it on the table.
Starting point is 00:26:08 And she doesn't notice that. And she says, we're going to go to this movie premiere. And he goes, oh, yeah, I'm pretty tucking out. Yeah, yeah. You go, though, kid. You go have a good time. She's like, you go. And he does call her kid.
Starting point is 00:26:18 He's a condescending weirdo. And she goes, oh, I want to go with you. And he's like, nah. And he's being reasonable and she's like, she's been kind of reasonable as well. She goes, okay, we won't go. All right, I'll go with Stanford.
Starting point is 00:26:33 You don't have to come. She looks at the table. She sees that Big has bought what looked like delicious takeout Japanese noodles for two and she flips her lid. She pours him half a gallon of whiskey and says binge drink you son of a bitch that's how we're getting through this marriage is how we're getting through this night i refuse to sit in a house with you and eat takeout it's like where is the
Starting point is 00:26:58 in for an audience in that moment i would love i would love to sit in a house with big and watch the financial news and hear about the woes of his life and eat fucking takeout noodles and then maybe cap off the night with the literal greatest episode of deadliest catch in the eight seasons that's been on the air as we were led to believe in that bang and teaser they headed on the tally they god damn i want to watch deadly's catch with that man they keep picking at that thread of like of when carrie says that when carrie accuses big of not watching of watching tv and not a black and white movie i'm like you are you are grasping yeah you're just looking at something to be outraged about at this point carrie so let's just call call it down. I'm abandoning this episode thing.
Starting point is 00:27:45 I can't be bothered going through all five. What I do want to bring up... Okay, no, we'll do it at pace. We can do it at pace. Okay, all right. Episode two. So episode two is,
Starting point is 00:27:53 I guess, them going to the film premiere and then running into Miley Cyrus. That's a fun little episode, isn't it? Funnily enough... Oh, wait, no, they've got to pick out
Starting point is 00:28:00 the dress first, but yeah, sorry, you go. Yeah, it was them getting ready for the movie premiere while carrying big's relationship crumbles was the second and so funnily enough my shining light was buried in that um in that moment yeah a line i had not heard before uh when when miley cyrus and is on the on the red carpet at the same time as Kim Cattrall, and they're sharing that wonderful outfit. I heard off mic someone just yelling out, is that your mother?
Starting point is 00:28:31 Yes, I heard that for the first time too. I mean, I don't think it's a particularly funny or great line, but it was just nice to find something different in you in that moment. Definitely. I'm with you, man. It's like the cell phone cloth thing. It was just like, hey, hadn't noticed that before. Well, you were wearing headphones this watch, eh?
Starting point is 00:28:50 No, I had a little Bluetooth speaker sitting on top of a large glass. Hey, do yourself a favor, mate. Chuck on some good quality headphones next time. There's a lot of panning that goes on with the soundtrack. A lot of left to right with those crazy bongo type drums and sitars. It's a lot of fun. All right, I'll do it for you. So episode two is, yeah, Samantha taking on the fashion industry
Starting point is 00:29:17 by her saying, I'm 50 fucking two and I'll wear this dress that Miley Cyrus is wearing too and it'll be awesome. Episode three is they all decide they're going to Abu Dhabi and they account for that and they make plans. And I reckon they kind of, yeah, they get there. And we've got Miranda struggling with her mother issues and also Charlotte struggling with her mother issues. So that's the mother episode.
Starting point is 00:29:40 And obviously Samantha struggling with her hormones and Carrie just sort of pottering around being a general nuisance yeah uh then our fourth episode i guess is them just fucking killing time and abu dhabi it's just a holiday yeah which it is holiday this is what you're supposed to do for so much of the movie it's just like yeah we forgot to like add this is and plot those were the moments when i thought it would be really nice to hear the movie without any sound effects or additional audio just hear the dialogue because I'm like
Starting point is 00:30:10 that would really sort of shine a very ruthless light on what is a harrowing and sad trip fuck it would drag and then I guess the final episode is just all of the resolution crap we find out that the nanny's gay and we find out that Biggs bought a diamond for Carrie to reward her infidelity.
Starting point is 00:30:31 And we find out who the fuck cares. God damn it. So what you've got, none of those episodes are watchable. If I had to, I would watch the first episode. It at least resembles the TV show. The rest of it is just like...
Starting point is 00:30:47 It's like if a body dies in the ocean and it gets bloated, water bloated. Yeah. That's what this movie is. It's a water bloated corpse of a film. Wow. What a visceral metaphor. Yeah. I'm sorry. It's dark water-bloated corpse of a film. Wow. What a visceral metaphor.
Starting point is 00:31:05 Yeah. I'm sorry. It's dark and blue. Just like my feelings. My shining light this week is the shirt that Aidan's wearing in the souk. Is it linen? That lovely white shirt? Yeah, it is. And it's got an additional pocket too.
Starting point is 00:31:22 It's such a good shirt. I really dig that shirt. I think it's got quite a nice little knife pocket or a leatherman pocket too. It's such a good shirt. I really dig that shirt. I think it's got quite a nice little sort of knife pocket or a Leatherman. Yeah. And he's a practical guy. Do you know? He looks like he could build stuff with his hands. It's interesting that you say Leatherman because I've got a little Leatherman squirt,
Starting point is 00:31:36 which are the tiny little pocket ones, and I just broke, I snapped a blade on it just before the movie started by accident. I was trying to loosen a um a flathead screw and it was so tight that it snapped one of the blades in half how about that yeah i reckon you could send that back yeah they seem like i don't know it didn't cost that much it was you know i've had it for a while i don't think it's i think it's normal for a screw to be stronger than a Leatherman. Well, it depends how tight the screw is, as always. But they're just the little ones.
Starting point is 00:32:10 They're just the little wee Leathermans. It's neither here nor there. We're running out of time, Tim. Yes, we are. Hey, look, one thing that I just have to bring up, because we don't pay enough attention to this, and it's such a bizarre feature of the movie, that Suzanne Somers' book just keeps popping up. It's at the start of the movie that suzanne summer's book just keeps popping
Starting point is 00:32:25 up it's at the start of the movie it's in the middle it's at the end the fucking arab woman have got a copy samantha's hammering it they really hammer it at the end when all of the women in the room start whispering the name suzanne summers as they're pulling out the book which is very unusual i haven't been to many book club meetings but i'm pretty sure the tradition isn't you pull out the book that you're reading while you all whisper, you don't go, Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain, Mark Twain.
Starting point is 00:32:49 That's not normal. It's fuck it. It's just, it's ham-fisted is a word that again comes to mind. It's brutal, man. And it's just so odd because you don't, I mean, in terms of product placement,
Starting point is 00:33:02 I don't see a lot of books and movies that generally share audiences I want I'm going to buy you that book I actually had to reveal that to you because you were going to buy it for me or something and I had it in my diary to buy you that book for your birthday, for your present
Starting point is 00:33:17 I had it a week before your birthday so I could make sure I get it in time I'm not going to do it now because I won't be surprised My pledge to you is I will read that book within the week of you giving it to me yeah it looks big man the movie makes it out to be a real tone i've got it i've got a big appetite for knowledge do you expect suzanne summer's um book about navigating through menopause as a real page turner or do you think it'll be a bit dull i don't know that it will resonate with me but i mean i'm at least curious to see what all the fuss is about.
Starting point is 00:33:45 I'm watching upwards of 15 people every week rave about it. Very good. Although it does seem to me that pretty much all it tells you is to increase your hormone intake. And eat yams. Get yacked up on yams. Look, let's round things off there. Guy, tell everyone about your fabulous show
Starting point is 00:34:06 as well let's get more what is happening over there mate people are coming into the house okay they're looking at me
Starting point is 00:34:14 I look sad yeah you are sad all over their faces we haven't even we haven't even indulged what what the coffee man
Starting point is 00:34:22 might be happening oh my god well let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's let's What the coffee man might be happening Oh my god Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's
Starting point is 00:34:33 Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's
Starting point is 00:34:33 Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's
Starting point is 00:34:33 Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's
Starting point is 00:34:33 Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's
Starting point is 00:34:34 Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's
Starting point is 00:34:34 Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's
Starting point is 00:34:34 Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's
Starting point is 00:34:39 Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's
Starting point is 00:34:44 Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's
Starting point is 00:34:44 Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let's Let he going? What's he up to? What's that hat? That's the question.
Starting point is 00:34:47 Do you want to dive right in this week? More than ever. This guy, obviously, it's just occurred to him that he has been heavily sedated by Michael Patrick King, all right? This is not a character. This is a real human being who's coming to consciousness live on set through the medium of coffee. Michael Patrick King's one piece of direction
Starting point is 00:35:05 for this guy, or for the waitress serving this guy in the film, was make sure you don't put any actual caffeine in there because it will undo the effects of the rehypnol. He'll come to consciousness. He'll realize he's in Sex and the City 2 after the awful experience he had during Sex and the City 1.
Starting point is 00:35:18 Fuck. So pretty much what we're witnessing is a man sedated coming to consciousness live on camera and walking out walking off set he doesn't want his paycheck he just wants to go home to his family it's pretty fucking meta bro quite dark yeah it's pretty fucking accurate too that is a dark roast go on go on his name do you know what his name is go on i think i think i mean i reckon we need to reach out to this guy. I think we absolutely should.
Starting point is 00:35:46 Tom Stratford. Tom Stratford is our new Tanya ice cream girl. We need to find him. Did you know Tom Stratford grew up in the same town as Angelina Jolie, where she spent her early childhood? I didn't know that before. Lena Jolie, where she spent her early childhood. I didn't know that before.
Starting point is 00:36:11 It's never good when your trivia on IMDb is rooted in a very loose correlation to some other person. Hey, plug your show, mate. I can hear things that whittles are turning at your place. I need to get you out of here. Back to your Edinburgh Fringe Festival. There's people whispering all around me, whispering plans to watch shows. Look, I'm still here in Edinburgh and will be for what feels like the rest of time. I'm doing a show every day at 4.30 at Espionage with my friend Rose Matafayo.
Starting point is 00:36:40 It's called Rose Matafayo and Go Macomb Your Friends. We do half an hour of stand-up comedy each. The price entry i hear you ask is free i tell you uh which is not a sustainable business model but a great way to get people through that fucking door already a bunch of wonderful people have actually come along and said that they've uh been sent there by the podcast which has been the most flattering experience of my young life please come along we're doing it for so long it's really quite ridiculous nice one okay bro i've got nothing to plug because i am just a schmuck caught in the bottom of the earth in the middle of a new zealand winter so i will bid you all a fair adieu i think you're gonna have nightmares yep good to hear from you guy take care be gone foul demon

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.