The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Twenty One - Drinking Day
Episode Date: July 21, 2015Guy and Tim decide to try and form a drinking game out of Sex and The City 2. Just like the Grown Ups 2 version of the game, things get messy quickly and the rules are less than obvious. Discussions o...f America's holiday pay, Charlotte's ample bossomed nanny and violent threats from Tim against Guy are all on the table. The lads also seem to have a strong yearning to return to their season one Sandlerific movie, which just goes to show: The grass is always greener on the other side. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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🎵
🎵 It's the worst idea of all time 🎵
🎵 To let them show You're too beautiful
Like a rainbow
Too many syllables in that end line, eh?
Choose one lyric
You can't just multi-layer all of the options you had
Don't just try out everything you thought you could
And hope to get away with it
Hello
Away with you
Welcome along to the worst idea of all time
Episode 21
Happy 21st Tim
Happy 21st to you as well
Guy
Halifax
Whatever
Montgomery
What was the other one?
Alexander's in the mix
There you go, Alexander
Timothy Christoph
Nope
Stefan
Nope
Mikael
Go more mainstream
Yefgeny
No, Anglo-Saxon
What comes to mind?
Neville
It's Andrew
Pretty close
It's good to be here
It's so good We've. It's a pleasure to be here.
It's so good.
We've just watched Sex and the City 2 on a projector. Ever heard of it?
On a projector in my bedroom.
And now we've turned all the lights off,
so we're in pitch blackness,
except for a blue flashing light of the USB stick
hanging out of my PlayStation.
Really going for kinners.
Really having a crack at it.
I'm going to pull that out.
That doesn't create any bad times later.
So, as promised, we celebrated the 21st birthday of Sex and the City 2.
A true American would celebrate their 21st birthday.
We got drunk.
Yeah.
We've been doing some drinking.
Someone asked you, like, what did you do today and if the day is monday through friday the response you're supposed to come back with is
i just went just went to work it was okay no big deal um but then every now and then if it's a
friday or saturday night that you're talking about which would make it a saturday morning
or sunday morning they go I got pretty wasted last night.
And guess what, folks?
We're there.
I'm glad that you explained it in such relatable terms, Tim.
I was afraid otherwise the concept of drunkenness would escape.
Not everyone knows where I'm coming from.
Well, I'd like to think now that they do.
Yeah, big time.
So here we all are.
We're all on board on the same page.
We're in the same ferry.
We've all made it.
We have.
And I would like to announce that the rules of this drinking game
can never be released to the public because they're unfair.
And there's too many of them and they're a bit stupid.
And to hell with them.
I would like to say that I think we might have talked about it,
is that it would be irresponsible to release the drinking rules.
No one's brought that up, but I concur.
On account of the fact that in some way
it would be surreptitiously encouraging people to watch the movie.
Oh, I see.
I see your argument, and i negate it how uh you know if someone's doing a drinking
game they're not buying the movie they're probably going to rent it from the one remaining united
video in their area united video whoa we've got the world on video so you wouldn't be like contributing a massive amount of money to
the filmmakers pockets just a tiny fraction of a cent you know it's it's less about who the actual
money is going to and more about the idea of people sort of just sacrificing hours of their lives,
their real lives, to watch it.
Oh, so you're coming from a time resource perspective rather than a dollar resource perspective.
Time is money or something.
That saying doesn't make a lot of sense to me,
time is money.
Do you know what?
Money is time.
Like, if there's any valuable commodity
that you can't get back or like you know get more
of you can't you can't increase it it's time so don't say time is money because money doesn't
matter nearly as much as time does time's got to be the most precious commodity of them all
you can't get more of it doesn't mean how rich you are i think but i think the idea of time is
money is rooted in
you're still ascribing value to money like you're yeah exactly we need to get beyond that
you should describe you should only ascribe value and money and as much as it is like
difficult for you to do something else with your time do you know what i mean like if you're uber
rich then you can do whatever you want with your time but that know what i mean like if you're uber rich then you can do whatever you
want with your time but that's because you have money but still the overriding thing is you want
more time i cannot keep up you definitely can this is an advanced stuff guy it feels like it
right now this goes central to the core of our movie that we watched today because it's all about
having lots of money and still finding problems anyway. I think it was Nelson Mandela's wife who in Nelson Mandela's biography
was writing about the virtues of how happy poor people are.
She said, the happiest people I've met ever have been farm workers.
They're the most satisfied with life.
They're the ones who get their joyous returns from being on this earth.
Are you still paraphrasing the Lady mandela or are you i ran away with it the first sentence i said was pretty
close to what she wrote down in that book but the rest of it you were just vibing i was vibing a
little bit it wasn't long walk to freedom just so you know it was a different one she wrote it
nelson mandela as far as i know wrote long Walk to Freedom but I was quoting a book that his wife wrote
I can't remember
what it's called
and so in watching this movie
do you feel like
it sort of
inspires in you
the feeling that
I believe it was
maybe
some
rapper called
Jellystone
goes
money can't buy me
a business
cause I'm
a bear
do you know that song? nah man not the way you sing it Jellystone Money can't buy me happiness, because I'm happy when I'm alone.
Do you know that song?
No, man.
Not the way you sing it.
Jellystone.
Jellystone. Really?
I think it's Jellystone.
You sound like...
Money can't buy me happiness.
You sound like Tom Waits, but...
Yeah, as well.
Like in rehab, drying himself out.
Wouldn't that be a tragedy if Tom Waits ever got to the point where he was like,
you know what, I've had enough alcohol.
Not if he started releasing collaborations with Jellystone, it wouldn't. It would be a tragedy if Tom Waits ever got to the point where he was like, you know what, I've had enough alcohol. Not if he started releasing collaborations with Jellystone, it wouldn't.
It would be a triumph.
That would be a net gain for the community?
I absolutely think so.
I mean, that is a curiosity that I think everyone is invested in.
Tom Waits and Jellystone.
It's been, I mean, for too long these conversations have been buried in obscure online forums.
It hasn't been in the public sphere enough.
Can I propose an album title?
Yes.
Jelly Waits.
It's pretty good, huh?
Yeah, it's not bad.
Okay.
The cover art is a picture of jelly which hasn't quite set yet.
Yeah, or jello for our American brothers and sisters.
Jelly on a plate. jelly on a plate jelly on a
plate wibble wobble wibble wobble jelly on a plate yeah that's what i'm talking about um now it's time
to get to the some of the important business i would like to find out what you were i feel like
we should go through some rules but only by memory I was going to ask for your shining light, but I guess that can wait for a tick.
So,
um,
most people would think that we wrote down costume change as a rule.
And it's just occurred to me that we didn't,
we wrote about 60 rules and they were very top heavy.
Like we wrote a lot in the front bit of the movie and then we got too drunk to
write,
to write any more rules.
I was going to say,
right.
The experience of writing the rules to the movie
sort of closely reflected the experience
of actually watching the movie,
in which at the start,
you're giving it everything,
and you're really like,
yeah, I'll fucking do it.
This time I'll nail it.
Yeah.
And then the movie breaks you
in the sense that within the last
at least third of the movie,
you're just completely
you're just in and out like you're no longer invested in a movie there's just something
happening around you you actually you were talking about how with grown-ups too like we really we did
watch it every week and with this like it's just hard. We keep trying so hard to engage the entire time through the film,
but it's just really difficult to stay in there.
We've really,
we've really pulled a number on ourselves because it is just too,
it's too little.
There's too little going on.
Too little and too long.
There's like,
there's not enough,
um,
both plot.
I can't stress enough how little plot there is,
but also visually on the screen, just if you want to see some things,
there's nothing there for you.
But Grown Ups 2, it didn't have plot either,
but it had an absurdly low amount of plot.
And also visually there was at least always a little bit going on.
They just threw a lot of stuff at it.
Yeah.
But I think in a vacuum you can create meaning
so and uh grown-ups too because there was like absolutely no plot you could kind of create these
strange meanings for yourself out of it but sex in the city too they've got just enough really
just enough really shit plot that it's relatable and you can kind of recognize where
they're coming from on some stage but it in no way could justify a movie or secondly a movie
that's two and a half hours yeah that's that's where i'm coming from there's no ammo in that gun
yeah and the gun is more detailed.
Yeah, I don't know.
I can't quite nail the end of the analogy.
You shouldn't try.
I was so keen to do it, is the thing.
I really wanted to bloody end that high five with you, Tim.
Thanks, man.
I'm sorry I didn't pull it off.
It's okay.
But anyway, so let's gravitate toward the shining light.
Okay. Okay.
okay but anyway so let's gravitate toward the shining light okay the shining light of the movie for me
obviously i'm struggling once again to think of it uh maybe it's rankle
uh it's oh no it's the shirtless guy's the shirtless guys playing croquet in the background of frame
when the ladies are all brunching at the big gay wedding,
at breakfast at the big gay wedding.
There's sort of a shot of them.
It's before Charlotte arrives, and it's just the three other gals.
And then in the background of frame,
there's just two really buff, ripped shirtless dudes who are part of a croquet game okay it's like it's not that
it's you know it's not that it doesn't look that sweaty they're just they're just putting it out
there for everyone to enjoy and i respect that yeah they want to show it to it that was my
shining light but then again they are in the middle east i mean they're in abu dhabi it's very
hot they're absolutely not in the middle east at a wedding there, they are in the Middle East. I mean, they're in Abu Dhabi. It's very hot. They're absolutely not
in the Middle East. They have a wedding.
There's no wedding in the Middle East.
Oh, yeah. Okay.
I hear you. What was your shining light?
What's the weather
like in New York City
on August the
3rd? It'd be hot.
Oh, well, that's why they're shirtless
Yeah
There you go
We see a clock
It says August the 3rd
It's like that time when you get the brief flash of McKenzie's watch
And grown ups too
Chris Rock puts his bloody hand to his face
And for some reason you finally get to know
What part of the year
3.59pm
July something
Is it around the same time of the year Is 3.59pm July something.
Is it around the same time of the year?
Is this because of America's... It's probably because of America's release schedule
because they put all their big films out in summer.
That's how they do things.
Did you ask me for my shining light?
Yeah, I did.
Yeah, you didn't?
Yeah, I did.
So I was going to try and find another way to cram Beidoun in there,
but I think it would be a cop-out.
And then it realized to me that I'm not 100% that we've ever used
Charlotte's big titty nanny's titties as a shining light
because it would have let them one.
But I feel like I've got just enough chemicals in
my body this week to kind of and i mean this is a verb not a noun to retard myself to the level
where i can appreciate charlotte's big tatted nanny's titties as a shining light so there you
have it uh they're the best bit of the movie I hope you enjoy them you've been
so staunch
in not letting
the movie win
resolute
you've been really defiant in your sense that
you've always said
you can't let them pull one on you in this way.
It's like what Dom Curry, I think, was trying to articulate last week.
For such a film that's built off a franchise which had such um admirable feminist beginnings and concrete
foundation to throw it all away in the second movie for some titties seems apparent but that's
where i'm at um well you're buying into that i've watched the movie 20 times and it turns out
there's not enough content in there to like find a new good thing with it every week.
So I finally got drunk enough and chemically affected enough
to accept their Trojan horse
of a terrible offer
into my heterosexual male Western white mind.
And it is Charlotte's big tittied big tits on the nanny.
Hey man, I respect you for
not only
you know buying into it this week
but also being able to
articulate the sensation so well
you're so welcome I guess
is that what you're looking for here
you're welcome
I was more trying to give you a
compliment than to take one back You're welcome. I didn't really need... I was more trying to give you a compliment
than to take one back.
I'll grab it.
But what I'll also do is just pack up the...
Can you hear that?
Oh.
What are you doing? What are you doing?
What are you doing with that double bass?
Oh, no way.
You've got to put that back down.
Oh, no.
You're going to hit that old lady.
What?
Where's he going? What's he doing?
What are you doing today?
What are you doing?
Brunch.
That is the question.
On everyone's lips.
Oh, that was a rule.
I forgot that one.
Every time coffee guy drinks, you drink.
That was one of the 60 rules we wrote down in our notebook.
That's a pretty primitive rule.
Pretty clear cut.
Yes.
If the coffee guy drinks his coffee, the very least we can do is drink our alcohol,
which in most cases will be beer.
In some cases will be wine, and in extreme cases will be antimatter.
But in normal cases will be water. Ant yeah don't drink that don't drink any antimatter don't breathe that it's like that guy it's like will it blend that reminded me
of another rule which was uh every time brady is on the cusp of harnessing the power of vermin
yes you must drink oh i see sure we're a lot of rules at the top of this film
um so our friend coffee guy follower of the one true god java uh sunk a lot of coffee this week
and i'm not sure whose turn it is to remember where he's off to next i don't think there'd
be anything wrong with us sharing our memory remembering it together
alright that's fine
do you want to take the leads on the
yeah well obviously the guy's
name is Miles Anderton
we know this
everyone knows this
that's how he's credited
in the credits of the film
and Miles
he hasn't slept very well the night prior.
I mean, he's had a bit of a rough go of it recently.
His dog, who's his best friend, obviously, Angus, a German shepherd.
Yeah.
He's had to take it to the...
There's a benign...
There was a tumour, it turns out, to be benign on the lung.
Oh, no.
And so, I mean...
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Is benign good or bad?
Benign is
As far as tumors go
It's the best news
You could have
It's the best of
Because benign is like
Benevolent
And menine is like
Malevolent
I haven't really thought about
The etymology of benign
Sorry
You go on with the dog thing
Well anyway
I mean
The good news is
It's benign
The bad news is
He's still got a,
he hasn't got very good insurance for his German Shepherds,
so he's got a, pretty much the holiday money he'd put out,
he's got to spend it on the dog,
and he's been having a very rough go of it at work,
so it was sort of.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Shit.
But he's regrouped.
He woke up in the morning, he went the legs, went for a good sort of four-mile jaunt,
and he's showered, and he went out for a coffee before heading down the office.
And this is where we meet him.
So he's sort of rebuilding himself from the ground up.
Wow.
So all he had was his dog.
Am I right in saying that?
Is that what you were saying?
All he's got is his dog and the prospect of a holiday from his long and arduous work as a bloody bean counter.
Oh, no.
And hinds.
Oh, God, they're the worst.
His job is quite literally to count the shucked green beans that go into sort of a 440ml can of green beans.
Because you can't have too many,
because then you're losing the company money,
but you can't have too little,
because then the consumers sue you.
So he counts out exactly 440 beans to every can.
You'd think there'd be a machine to do it, but there's not.
And so he's been doing this for two years straight.
He's been compiling his holiday time.
Oh, man.
And he's mapped out this fantastic trip. uh obviously as i've already mentioned that the dog's got a tumor i mean it's benign
but it will it will kill the dog early now of course um our java fiend of a man of being counter
of an individual of an anderton of a sir of a mister uh what you won't know about him is he actually he lives in australia um
that's where he's based he's just he's actually on his holiday when we see him in the film which
is the amazing thing but he's an australian bean counter which is crazy that's how he gets so much
time off the americans wouldn't wouldn't know this because they don't get holiday pay like we do
they don't have the same rules
they're very different i feel like they work you whoever they are they work you hard in america
they're trying to get you you get like oh boy would they get you get like a week of holidays
maybe if you're lucky if you're lucky this seems like a crazy thing you're gonna have more holidays
than that america Get it in you.
I'm on holiday right now, pretty much.
It's called being drunk, and I recommend it to everyone.
In which case, everyone has the option of being on holiday.
Can you remember any more rules, Guy Montgomery?
I'm trying to remember more.
Not remotely off the top of my head.
Charlotte takes something literally slash to obviously?
Oh, yeah.
Take a drink.
Every time Steve talks, you take a drink.
Every time a scripted joke bombs,
so they've written the bombing of the joke into the script,
you take a drink.
Did I scribe that one down?
I don't know if it's on the list.
I scribed it, I think.
Another rule was, welcome to the wedding.
Oh yeah, you have to finish a beer by the time Alicia Keys stops singing.
That's a rule.
Pretty much as soon as you start watching the movie, the rule is you drink a beer.
Welcome to NYC.
Welcome to New York City, drink a beer.
And also, maybe punch punch yourself oh yeah just punch
yourself yeah and whatever's like so you drink a beer and you punch yourself to say
to apologize to yourself essentially for watching the movie hit yourself in the gut
it's not quite the nuts or the um who would you hit a woman um jesus i don't really know just hit yourself in the
stomach it's a good gender neutral body part to give yourself a little smack in if you're watching
grown-ups you can't mean six and city too i'm reverting to grown-ups a lot in my head at the
moment i don't know what's happening there i'm regressing it's difficult to hit yourself hard yeah to actually hurt yourself i find you stop yourself before you get there yeah i think
so i'll i'll smash you out if you want i'll punch you right in the guts you don't need to do that
oh well it's up to you i'm just saying it is up to me do you think i've got a secret
subconscious yearning to get back into the grown-ups too do you think that's what this is about well yeah i think so because i i don't even feel like it's subconscious you think
it's entirely conscious i every time we watch sex in the city too i think to myself this would be a
lot better if i was watching grown-ups too yeah we've chosen an untamable beast and we've like
you know following we talk about with grown grown ups too and even earlier in the season
we've been wrangling with it
but in our head
in my head certainly
I've been like
it feels untameable
but we will
we will tame this
wild
we will find our victory
yeah
and just
every week
even as
obviously we took away
the bloody
times viewed
and chip into the
views remaining
I've sort of always had a blind confidence
that eventually we'll figure out a way to
enjoy or beat watching this movie
hasn't happened yet
it's just not going to happen
it's been 21 watches now and I haven't found a technique
to enjoy the film
I genuinely think it's categorically
impossible to walk away
from watching Sex and the City 2
and feel okay about anything.
But not in a way where you want to change things,
where you're like,
I'm so empowered to improve the world.
Just in a way where you're like,
well, we're all fucked because this movie exists.
It's discouraging.
Yeah, in the extreme.
It's disheartening.
The entire thing is disheartening yeah so what a negative fucking
you took a negative place i'm sorry for that but i i you know every week i struggle to actually
verbalize exactly what it's doing when we did grown-ups too we sat down and we sort of we
were invested maybe so punchy and fast it feels like now yeah that you
know it keeps us in there the whole time but this we sit down together and we watch about an hour of
sex in the city 2 and then we're just in a room where sex in the city 2 is happening around us
and it's a poisonous atmosphere and we're watching it and we're hearing it but we're not listening
i'm not as well as you can hear it hear it, but you're not fully in there.
It's like walking into this negative energy bubble.
Yeah.
Sitting in it and then talking about it and then walking out.
So what I would like to say is all hail King Brady.
He is the chosen leader.
There are a few things I can get on board with
And he doesn't get enough screen time
Considering that dude
Trained a generation of rats
To train all of the other rats
The entire Sex and the City 2
Is seeding the idea
That there will be a sequel
In which Brady is the rat king
It's outrageous how little screen time he gets
It's very subtle the way they allude to the sequel in some ways i appreciate the restrained the restrained approach to filmmaking
um they've really like it would be too easy to glorify brady in this film and to really drop a
lot of shit so that people would see the eventual rise of brady the rat king and then say oh they
had so many hints for us how did i miss this but they don't they legitimately only drop a couple
of little things for us to figure out that he becomes the ruler of the new york city subway
and then beyond you know it's just an intermediate stage the world because rats are everywhere guy that's the thing about them they're all over the shop
yeah I mean
I do like to think
that if there is some sort of
you know seismic global
event which sort of
puts a pretty big
stoppage on human life yes that rats will survive and
hopefully survive at least if not in intelligence and numbers to take charge and actually i mean
really see what they can get done i have high hopes i don't think that's going to happen as
long as there are this many of us human beings around oh i, I volunteer myself for tribute. I think it's probably a good idea if we just stop having kids
and we just let ourselves die out
and we just wait for the rats to take over.
And I think that our dead bodies would provide enough nutrition
for the original generation of super intelligent rats.
Well, because the biology behind the way rats digest food
is that they're the first species in which their processing has become so advanced
that they absorb, in essence, the IQ or the intelligence of whatever it is they're consuming.
This is a very old idea in science fiction, but a very new idea in how rats are going to take over the world.
That you eat the brains of your victim and you gain the brains as intelligence.
But this is the level of advancement that their actual digestive system has gone through,
specifically their intestines, is that it doesn't have to be the brain.
It could be any piece of flesh.
But in the DNA of the flesh is some of the tissue of the brain.
So you don't even need to eat the brain.
So you could eat a toe and you'd still get pretty smart.
If you ate the toe of, say, someone, I mean, like the most intelligent.
If a rat ate the toe of the most intelligent human.
Yeah.
I mean, yes.
Yeah.
I mean, they would absorb, depending on what the perspective,
what the ratio of toe size to rat size is,
say the toe was like 20% the size of the rat,
then the rat's intelligence will absorb like 20% of the intelligence
of the human whose toe they've eaten.
That's intense.
It's a lot of intelligence to consume.
It also reminds me of a rule that we wrote down,
which was the ratmanto
uh rule sorry portmanteau rats live around ports you can understand how to make the mistake
if there's a portmanteau in the film like this one's scripted in and a frenchin you must drink
into function and a fun function-ion. Into function.
What are the other ones?
You know, I can't remember.
Me neither.
There's one other, but I can't remember it.
It's interesting.
I don't know.
How do you-
I mean, how do you-
21's a lot.
It is, bro.
It is with this one. So 21 times two and a half is 40 plus 15 is 55.
55 hours.
That's a lot of time to be watching these chicks.
A lot.
How do you feel about the prospect of however many remain?
31.
Very scared.
Very scared. The fact that we're not at halfway yet is genuinely dark
and terrifying
and in spite of my drunk buzz
it's not enough to
grab me out of the
reality of this terrible situation
but what do you think about it
I don't know man
I think
but what do you think about it?
I don't know man I think
the only thing
yeah
that
I'm
like the only thing
that I'm really
that we're really getting out of this
is that we're spending
this amount of time together
weekly
yeah
in arduous circumstances
yeah
so there's a sense of camaraderie in that
I don't I'm not opposed to that but I don't do you know what else Guy? Yeah. In arduous circumstances. Yeah. So there's a sense of camaraderie in that.
I don't, I'm not opposed to that.
Hey, do you know what else, Guy?
You know, we got a lot of shit on these days.
Takes us out of town, but we need to sit down every once in a while and schedule out when we're going to hang out.
And you don't get a lot of friends who you do that with, eh?
Who you schedule out time.
You're like, fuck, well, I've got to hang out with Guy for three hours one night this week.
When's it going to be?
I've got none of my friends.
Even the way you phone him then, it's a sense of dread that's associated with the time.
Just because of the movie, not because of you.
I love hanging out with you.
Are those two things not entirely entwined with each other?
No, they're not.
That's the strength of our friendship.
Is it what it transcends?
It transcends
the Pavlovian response
of associating you
with the physical nausea
of this film.
Triumph.
I feel the same.
It's a good thing, ultimately.
It's a good thing.
It's a hard thing, though.
That's the thing of it.
It's so difficult
I really feel like I'm going to piss my pants soon
As well
I only took one lick through that
And I think I've drunk about
Some litres of beer
Three
Less than that
Oh no
I'd be drinking three litres of beer at least
I don't know how that converts to your American
Imperial system It's a lot of liquid Yeah three litres of beer at least. I don't know how that converts to your American imperial system.
It's a lot of liquid.
Yeah.
Three litres of anything is a lot.
Yeah, three litres of water would be a task, you know?
I don't know.
Something in that ballpark.
So, Guy, how do you feel about the remaining watches that we've got?
You know what?
Yeah?
You know, we'll come back
we'll take our punishment there's like there's a sense of it feels like there's got to be something
at the end of all this but i think that's what makes it so dreary is there's at the end of this
like there's just the freedom of not watching six and city two every week but there's at the end of this like there's just the freedom of not watching sex in the city too every
week but there's still so much sex in the city too to go through to get there yeah and there's
no external pressure to say you have to watch sex in the city too yeah so it's sort of it feels just
like such a hollow victory yeah i mean but you know what? It is fun.
It's fun.
You know?
Challenges are fun.
You know,
hard things are good.
They make you who you are.
Um,
but,
this room's really cold.
It's like,
are you feeling the cold in this room?
It's really cold.
I'm going okay.
The crazy thing is,
I'd never at any point turn the heater on in my bedroom,
but the projector creates enough heat
that it acts like a heater,
which is great in winter, which we're in now.
But in summer, my goodness,
you need to bloody open every door and window.
Get some air flowing.
It's a nightmare nightmare Which of these characters
Would you most like to have breakfast with
When you wake up tomorrow?
Samantha Jones
Public relations consultant
For what reason?
Her interests and mine are most aligned I feel
And what are your interests aligned?
Well I think we could talk about
Public relations and marketing.
And I could chew the fat on some big clients and big people that she had in some big events that she promoted how she did it.
How would you open the conversation with Samantha Jones?
Samantha, it's so lovely to meet you.
I've heard so much about you.
Thank you.
Can I get you a coffee?
Would you like something?
Yes.
What do you take?
Please, a flat white.
Okay, and how do you sugar?
One.
Warm it is.
One warm, two warm flat whites, thank you, Garcon.
So then I would obviously pull your chair out for you,
as a gentleman always should.
Why, thank you.
You're ever so welcome.
So, Samantha, tell me, you work in PR.
Yes.
What have you been working on recently?
Like, what's going on at the moment, if you don't mind my asking?
There's a great movie launch.
Really?
Yeah, there's this character.
He's a man, and he's in the jungle in South America,
and he makes love with a frog, and they have a whole new species.
It's going to be very interesting.
Wow.
So he makes, sorry, you said he makes love with a frog?
Yeah.
How does that work?
Well, he wakes up one morning, and the frog is on the end of his penis.
My goodness.
It's going, it's, you know, and he wakes up, sort of it's going it's and it's you know when
he wakes up and he's having a nice kind of dream you know sort of sort of dream it's like oh what
are you doing sure sure and he wakes up as the dream is culminating and he's sort of you know
he feels this frog so i mean like who who are you targeting with this movie who's your segment
it's the biggest target market you've ever heard of really the frog blowjob movie that's just a
mass market kind of a thing absolutely okay yeah i mean just off the top of my head no concerns
about maybe bringing some kids into that and figuring out what's going on. Children need to learn about biology and what, you know, every human is capable of.
Okay.
Okay.
So what sort of approach?
Are you going more of an online feel for this or billboards or like how are you going to get the word out?
We got billboards.
We got big billboards.
What's on them?
Well, it's pretty much just a frog
a frog
who looks full
of what
just it looks full
like it doesn't look hungry anymore
it's a full frog
um okay
uh
this movie sounds terrifying
your marketing scheme sounds lacking I've picked the wrong Okay, this movie sounds terrifying.
Your marketing scheme sounds lacking.
I've picked the wrong girl and I'll eternally regret that.
Hey, come on.
We're just having breakfast.
You ask a lot of questions for a guy I'm just meeting.
I also instantly retract my non-clemencia by referring to you as a girl.
Clearly, you're a woman.
And I apologize for that, but not for my other comments because you are boring and ill-informed.
So I shall pick up the tab and leave.
That's fine by me.
Okay.
Enjoy your very, very bad marketing campaign for what seems like a bestiality film
you nightmare of a woman all right see you later i reckon that's it i don't have i gotta go i gotta
take a leak this is terrible do you have anything you gotta tell everyone uh just i hope
that you enjoyed this so much it doesn't sound like it i know but we are working so hard for you
okay we'll catch you next week see you on the internet everyone bye
bye on the internet everyone bye bye