The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Twenty One - Stye

Episode Date: October 23, 2018

Guy continues his march through Europe. Tim is moving house. Nobody is happy. But the boys have been brought together by that gem of a comedy flick Grown Ups 2 one more time (and will again 31 more times). On the agenda today: eye styes, Beethoven symphonies and the huge fight scene from Adam Sandler's indisputable worst film. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, welcome along to the worst idea of all time. My name's Guy Montgomery. And my name is Tim Batt. And we just watched Grown U ups 2 for the 21st time and the second time this week we did a little catch-up because uh too much time passed since we saw the movie and actually we didn't mention this last podcast but you said boy it's been a long time since i've seen this film quite a funny quip from you guy how are you where are you i'm great thank you i am currently in sunny barcelona if i look out my window i can see some beautiful spanish people going about

their morning business and i gotta tell you it really hammers home uh the dire straits that we find ourselves in week after week tim well i hate this i know i like that i'm dragging part of your holiday down is all i wanted to say because it sounds delightful so i want to make it as least delightful as possible i hate everything about what we're doing i like i don't even i don't even there's not there's nothing there's no joy in that viewing there's no joy in talking to you right now. Yeah. I'm a really, like, I'm an unhappy person. Yeah. I'm on holiday, and this is what... Like, I think this is...

If I was in New Zealand the whole year, I think being away is really what's starting... what might be the end of me, essentially, in the context of this podcast. It's like, to not be able to just get up and go march around barcelona of my own volition whenever i want because i have to fucking do this stupid fucking thing with you once a week jackass why don't you call it for a second you're on holiday i'm only in i'm only in barcelona for a week you know it's very difficult to get here from new ze. Every hour, you've got to live every moment.

I know. You love every day. I'm not loving every day. I'm not living every moment. Guy. Anyway, how are you going, pal? You can afford to take 101 minutes out of your fantastic life at the moment. It's not.

It's the time around the podcast, all right? It's waking up at 8.30 in the morning when I needed an extra half an hour of sleep. life at the moment it's not it's it's the time around the podcast all right it's getting it's waking up at 8 30 in the morning when i needed an extra half an hour of sleep that throws out the whole rest of my day it's the 40 minutes of getting the getting ready and then having the conversation with you afterwards do you know what i'm supposed to be doing right now i'm supposed to be fucking moving house mate this is not ideal at all this is good this is a nice way to escape moving house moving house is a difficult way to escape moving house moving house is a difficult thing to do yeah but it doesn't like stop it from happening it just puts off

when it will get done and makes it later which makes it way shitter all right well look i think we can agree that neither of us are happy with the situation i i'm i was fucking furious when we were getting kicked off I was like this god damn thing again I brought a lot of anger to the viewing today when I woke up and I called you on Skype and it didn't work like twice and I just hoped

that it just wouldn't work for whatever reason I was really calling for that that's where I was at last week because I think I was trying to get in touch with you and you weren't on Skype and I was like dear god may he not have an internet connection so we can just not do it this week but you were fucking there

and it connected and we watched it and we did it and here we are again it's only been how many days since the last watch like 4 or, I think? Not many. Oh, no, wait. No, no, no, because I put it out way later, didn't I?

That was the issue. I can't fucking remember. Anyway, look, it's unimportant. So, Tim. Yeah. Seen the movie. Have you seen this new, hey, Tim, have you seen this new Adam Sandler movie,

Grown Ups 2? It's really great. Look, is that based on that first one that's got all the famous comedians in it? Yeah, yeah, it's a sequel. It's sort of a light-hearted family romp through a small, middle-class American town. And I've got to tell you,

the hijinks that these guys get up to make me question whether or not they're really grown-ups at all. Do you think that's where they got the name from, Guy Montgomery? Well, I tell you what, I have a sneaking suspicion that it's no coincidence the movie's called Grown Ups 2, and the grown-ups, often they're behaving like children. And the children, well, they're behaving like children too.

It's chaos, it's anarchy. So, if you had to sell me on a couple moments in this film, because there's a lot of great comedy films out there, Guy, and I'm just deciding, should I go and see Grown Ups 2 or not? I might go and see Ghostbusters for the 20th time. I might get that out again, or I might get Ferris Bueller. Why should I get this video out? Ferris Bueller, it's old news, mate.

You want something new, you want something fresh, you want to see a comedy that will feel like you've never seen before. And I'm talking specifically to you right now Tim you want to lay fresh eyes on some fresh modern comedy which isn't remotely bigoted towards anyone you want to watch this movie

it's interesting that you just unsolicited came up with the word unbigoted to describe this movie that's not how most movies get described yeah I've run out of steam for this bizarre roleplay the word unbigoted to describe this movie. That's not how most movies get described. Yeah. I've run out of steam for this bizarre roleplay. You have not committed to the bit, guy. You bailed out early.

I'm trying. There were still legs in that. I'm trying so hard. I'm a juicier. You were awake for this whole watch, which was something. What was your emotional arc for the 101 minutes i was in a bad mood at the start and it got better as the movie went on and actually i found um new

joy in watching the fight scene just to see yeah who does a bad job because there was a real sorry you go there was some really bad fighting happening You know the scene we talked about last week where the jock guy rips off Tim Meadows' hair and he gets really excited about it. He's bald. I've never watched the background of that before because I've been so absorbed in the comedy of that moment. But there's a lady beating up a guy

and they're pretty much counting out the steps. I looked at a lot of bad fighting that was probably the worst for mine yeah there's fight scenes that I haven't noticed at all with this watch because I'm watching it on a laptop that's so close to my face so like when you're watching it on a TV

still the same resolution still 1080p but you know it's still glorious I don't want anyone thinking we're watching a glitchy version of growing up we're not watching standard def although i would look if there was a 4k version out there i would love to see it for no reason at all but point being um terrible fighting and we've brought that up before but like yeah you do you notice you notice new stuff when you're that close to the screen.

You do. Like, real shatters. Yeah. It's an interesting sort of... What's going on with your eyes? Because I can see you. We're on video Skype right now. It looks like you're on drugs or something, man. Or is this just how you wake up?

I'm just waking up. Oh, no, I've just watched Grumps 2. I think I've got, like, a stye or something in my right eye. It's a bit sore. Yeah, it's looking a little bit red. A little bit red. It's because I keep rubbing it. Yeah. I think that doesn't help. stye or something in my right eye. It's a bit sore. It's looking a little bit red. A little bit red. It's because I keep rubbing it. Yeah.

It doesn't help. Do me a favour though. Come close to the camera. Put that eye close to the camera and then look to your left I think. No, look the other way. No, no, like tilt your whole head. Yeah, that sort of thing. Yeah, yeah, like that.

Okay. Yeah, no, it's looking okay. It's a little kind of red but yeah. It'll be okay it'll be sweet hey man this this city is beautiful yeah tell me about bar barcelona do they say barcelona or barcelona they say barcelona um just you get like beers bears everywhere. Bear in the street for a euro or less, just walking around. Yesterday we went to the beach. We just swam in the water, swam in the Mediterranean.

Then we'd get up, we'd go and eat some tapas, drink some beer. We'd go for a walk, then we'd land back at the beach, fall asleep, wake up, go for a swim, get up go eat some tapas drink a beer, go for a walk wind up back at the beach it's like watching grown ups too over and over I'll have you know that yesterday I did a full day of work and then hosted a pub quiz and then walked home

in the largest storm Auckland's had for the last 10 years with a large backpack on my back and stopped midway at a McDonald's where at midnight where a bunch of tourists started singing happy birthday to one of their party and it's the saddest I think I've ever felt that is so that is so you it's so uniquely you that you would the tragedy of that yeah just the large backpack in particular. It's the detail. It's that you got caught in a rainstorm, not just in your clothes with a rain jacket on,

but carrying a large backpack, presumably with some sort of electronic equipment in it. You're the kind of guy who just needlessly rolls around town with your electronic equipment and a large backpack in case you ever need it. How's the quiz going, by the way? It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

You better hope whoever books it doesn't listen to this podcast. He knows full well how I feel about it. No, no, it's good fun. It was pretty quiet last night because of the storm, but still had a solid eight or so teams. That's pretty good. Yeah. Do you wisecrack?

Yeah, I'm a pretty straight-laced quiz master, to be honest. I think that's pretty good do you wise crack? yeah I'm a pretty straight laced quiz master to be honest I think that's important I don't think that's important you can make jokes but you've got to make sure that you're delivering the quiz do you even write your own questions? nah I've got a mate in Wellington

shout out to Nicky Boy if he's listening who's been doing the Southern Cross quiz for like the last five years and he's good at hey Boy if he's listening, who's been doing the Southern Cross quiz for like the last five years and he's good at it. He writes them himself. He's fucking good at it. So I pay him a little bit of money, or the bar does rather, and we buy his one and I deliver it. I do the music round though.

How do you expect to enjoy doing the pub quiz if you aren't even invested enough to write your own questions? Because I was invested enough to find a good writer of the pub quiz. You don't even care about the trivia you're spouting. Bullshit. I care a lot.

That's why I entrust it to Nicky Boy. He's a smarter man than I am. You can't keep swatting through life, half-assing everything, Tim. I can as long as I pay people slightly more than I make along the way. It's called clipping the ticket, and I'll have you know it got me to where I am today. Oh, man. What are we doing?

I don't know, man. Like, that was a big question mark hanging over my head this watch. There's a lot of sadness. A lot of sadness and a lot of anger associated with this viewing. I think, because I just wonder when it's going to turn. Like, when it... Yeah. Like,wing it's i think i because i just wonder when it's going to turn like when it yeah like when it's because it we're still climbing the mountain right yeah yeah yeah

yeah and i wonder if at 26 when we're halfway through it will it will feel like a descent like the numbering could go up to 26 and then to keep our spirits high it could it could go back down so it goes 26 26 25 24 it's like we're taking steps back to sanity until we can once again be released into society well something i was talking to my mate about um just before was um the specter of grown-ups three getting made and uh us watching it for two years when it gets released because we did promise that on this podcast. No, we didn't. We didn't.

And we're not doing it. It's a stupid threat. That is a stupid, hollow threat you made. Look. Look at the lengths we're going to already to do this 52 times. 104 times to watch a sequel to a sequel that shouldn't have been made not going to happen tell you what i did watch i can't remember i said this the last podcast i watched a movie called down by law i was trying i was trying to do that salesman technique where

when you you stop talking and the other person sweats it out until they agree with you but you did not come around you just just moved on and changed subjects. Matt, please, tell me about this other movie. I'll see straight through you, Tim, Matt. It was just really good. It was really good. What's it called again? Down by Law.

It's like three guys who sort of get wrongly imprisoned in a New Orleans prison, and it's all black and white. Tom Waits is one of the guys, and then there's two other guys who are both very good. I can't remember their names. strongly imprisoned in New Orleans prison. And it's all black and white. Tom Waits is one of the guys. And then there's two other guys who are both very good. I can't remember their names. And they break out of prison and run through the wilderness.

Awesome. I pretty much told you the whole plot. But it's fucking good. That's right. I'm a Tom Waits fan. Big Tom Waits fan. So that'll be cool to watch him. But if you think about how quickly i summarized the plot of that film and how clear and succinct what was a very watchable and enjoyable film is versus how much garbage they've stuffed into the

fucking sack that has grown up to it tells you you don't need you know you don't need a lot you don't need a dare, a CGI dare pissing on a teenage boy in a shower to make a good movie sometimes less is more and sometimes a dare pissing is more but this isn't one of those times it's true both have their merits

even like The Matrix I think would have a shorter logline is that what they're called? like a little descriptor for the studio to get financed than this piece of shit because what because we keep going back to this but what is what is the movie about what is grown-ups 2 about nothing really when you get down to it it's about nothing some people argue it's about friendship but it's not because they're all cunts to each other is it about um is it about is it i mean is it about growing up no it's not really is it because there's no lessons learned and no one changes this is like a fundamental thing that's missing

from this movie there's no character development or a character arc no one improves true even who taylor lautner and his his gang of fraternity boys who are supposedly the villains, they don't actually learn a lesson from the beatdown they get at that party. They all just run away and probably, presumably, continue living their lives as they have been. Yeah, and also they don't even learn the lesson

that don't take on old people because they're stronger than you think because the thing that scares them away at the end is the deer, not the old people's fighting abilities. I don't even think it's the deer. I think it's the, I mean, what you don't really know until you see the deer take down Taylor Lawton is how much they have invested in Taylor as a leader.

He is the be-all and end-all of their confidence en masse as a group. So he's like Ralph in Lord of the Flies. Is that the main guy's name? Yeah, there's Ralph and there's Piggy. Jack. The leadership battles between Jack and Ralph. Yeah, you're right.

Fuck, that's a good book. Boy, is it. Did you see the play stage adaption of it in Auckland? Not when it was on recently. I have seen it as a play. It's bloody good, man. It's a good production.

Good production. Remember that time we went to the NZSO? Oh, that was nice. Did we ever talk? We talked about that, eh? I don't think we did. Just before Guy left, we went to the new zealand symphony orchestra performing some of beethoven symphonies and the funniest thing that happened is um we were a

little bit worse for where we'd had a couple of beers before going in but we were just you know excited about the performance but we were fine um but going in after halftime just before the orchestra kicked up a guy who was on the opposite side of the room to us, we were up on the balcony bit, just goes, yeah, just before they started. And I could not stop laughing. It's like the funniest thing that you could say before an orchestra is about to perform Beethoven.

Watching the symphony orchestra was a full-on experience. Like, it's the whole atmosphere it's very it's not tense but it's very it's sort of it's prim it's um i find it contemplative yeah i mean the thing is when the when the music's going it's just you're just there because in a play or in a movie or something not this movie necessarily but you're you're absorbed in a story. You're following something else. But when the music's playing,

and in a concert you can still turn to someone or dance, but if you're just sitting in a chair listening to classical music to Beethoven, you're sort of an odyssey of thought. You're just in your own brain. It's quite intense. People get real fucked off when you do start exploring external stimuli,

like talking to your mates who are busting out a cell phone. We were whispered some funny things to each other during the performance yeah that woman didn't like me though that's ok very eccentric composer too composers they are they are like bizarre

you took issue with that man I think that's what all conductors are like but you seem to think that that guy was especially egotistical. I called him a composer. God, I'm an idiot. Oh, yeah, conductor. Conductor, yeah. Conductor.

It's just like... That Beethoven was so fucking full of himself. Yeah, that Beethoven had a real ego. No, but that conductor, he's like, all of the musicians are just looking at their sheet music the whole time. They occasionally say once a minute, glance up at him to see what he's doing. He's musicians are just looking at their sheet music the whole time they occasionally say once a minute glance up at him

to see what he's doing he's just dancing up there for himself and then like he took three encore bows at half time for intermission

he's held me to that there was rapturous applause he'd walk off the stage and then he'd come back out and bow again the applause continued he'd walk off the stage

come out and bow again the applause continued he'd walk off the stage, come out and bow again, the applause continued, walk off, that's like, it's half time, mate. You've only done half your fucking job. Look, I think he's more important than you're giving him credit for, because I used to play a bit of trumpet and I didn't take it to a very serious level, but I remember the conductor playing a part in that

when you played with the band, with the whole orchestra. Yeah, but that's... It was important. It was a new shitty little school orchestra these are all professional musicians they don't need this guy i don't need a leader i guess he's the taylor lautner of their of their group maybe they do god well okay so in like a rock band the percussionist keeps time right like the drummer would keep time but in an orchestra you don't always have percussion going so you need another guy to keep the rhythm

they had a guy on the timpani yeah this time they did but I'm saying like you can't just have a role which is conductor when there's no drums in a piece you know you gotta have a safety role just put someone in on triangle

where are we going with this this isn't related to the film we are we are like stretching our brains silly to avoid talking about the movie um hey shining light shining light i said it out loud to you because i was afraid i wouldn't remember it and i don't i said it do you remember that i said yeah i know that's that's my shining light when it happened tits um i can't remember bro okay well then i had a backup which was when the headmaster's doing his announcement um there's some funny signage in the background of some of

the classrooms one of them was like history is great was one of the whole posters and how much history do you know and i was like i hope these aren't real educational posters from America, and this is just an instance of how lazy the props department got at some point by just writing sentences and putting them on card and putting them on the wall in the background. I suspect it might be because Stanton High, which is the name of the high school where it is, home of the Puritans, go Puritans, a lot of that looked undressed.

So I'd be tempted to say that that's a real sign. Interesting. Do you think they used a real high school? I reckon Stanton High is real. In fact, should I Google it now? I keep forgetting, what state is the movie based in? I think Connecticut. We've been guessing Connecticut for a long time now.

It was based on something, though. Did you ever watch Freaks and Geeks? Yeah, a long time ago. That's a good one. That school looked very real, but that was a set. That show was set in Detroit, I think, but they shot in Los Angeles.

And there's one goof where you can see a palm tree in the background of the shot. And if anyone knows anything about goof where you can see a palm tree in the background of the shot and if anyone knows anything about Detroit you don't see palm trees in Detroit shattered the illusion of the world what a bunch of fuckwits fuck but they made a really good show

whereas conversely Grown Ups 2 is kind of the opposite where everything is almost visually flawless but there's no movie or plot behind it so it's just like an empty Firstly, Grown Ups 2 is kind of the opposite, where everything is almost visually flawless, but there's no movie or plot behind it, so it's just like an empty facade, an empty shelf. How many different ways can we come up with to say that same thought? I guess another, hopefully another, like, 30.

30? No, what is that, 21? I can't see a Stanton High in Connecticut there's one in Texas though I'll just see if it's home of the Puritans they don't need to have shot the film in Connecticut for it to be set there Stanton High is home of the Buffaloes go Buffaloes

they're all about school spirit in America, hey Tim, what was your shining light let's get this thing over with funnily enough it was at the school as well because i noticed this time and it's probably on screen for about one and a half seconds if that but as keithy's leg is being broken by his dad adam sandler there's a shot of a beautiful brick cottage style building which might be the groundskeeper's house just kind of over the shoulder of Adam Sandler as he's flying through the air and it's a

beautiful old building and you don't see that kind of brick work in the movie anywhere else so that was my shining light today That is a good shining light. What's on the cards for you the rest of the week, mate?

You said you were busy. You wanted to get this record done. I'm moving house. Yeah, that's good. I don't know. I've got to check my calendar. I'm just playing it day by day at the moment. Got some work to do tomorrow.

Got the old radio stuff ticking over. The old radio. The old radio. The old radio. Oh, yeah, on Friday, I'm doing a comedy gig in someone's lounge, which will be interesting. What, is it a bit of fun, or is it a proper gig? It's to promote TV3. I think that comedy special is going to air soon, that they taped during the festival.

Our one, for the... Oh, is it... From the last last. And it's like, win a stand-up comedy show. Yeah. How did you get out of that? Because I would have thought that you'd be, like, contractually obligated to attend as being the Billy T winner.

I flew to Barcelona. That's a good way to get out of that contract well done you but it should be fun yeah that would be fun I guess where are you off to next just give me

two locations that you're off to next and we'll round it off I'm flying to Berlin on Saturday I'm going to be on Saturday. Beautiful. I'm going to be... Oh, this is exciting. I don't know if you watched the semifinal. I watched the semifinal last night in a sort of reasonably crowded bar,

although it was a weird place. But anyway, crazy stuff, watching the Germans just completely destroy Brazil. I'm going to be in Berlin on Sunday, the 13th of July, which just happens to be when the World Cup final will be played. Oh, shit. So that could be one of the greatest nights of my life, if they win. Dude, that's a...

Fuck, yes. Oh, my God. That country will be on fire. Even if they don't win, I think they're still going to be pretty joyous. Like, that was a... 7-1 was the end score, wasn't it? That was an absolute thrashing.

It was a pantsing. It was relentless. And then after Berlin, I don't really know. I might go to Iceland or Amsterdam. Hey, go to Iceland, man. Everyone goes to Amsterdam. You know? Yeah. It doesn't get dark this time of year we'll go there that's that's cool that's sciencey and it's exciting and it's a little bit sexy besides

by the end by the end of this trip and because then i'll be in edinburgh for all of august i think i will have wound up watching including new zealand watching grown-ups too in like six different countries which is shit that's be some sort of world record. That is fucking cool, man. That's not cool. I like that a lot. That's great. Hey, let me ask you this before we go, and then we will go.

Tanya got back in touch, as I told you a couple of weeks ago, and said, hey, tuned into the podcast. I think it's funny. So do you want to get her on over Skype like soonish while you're away away or do you want to wait for you to come back and we'll do it well it's when you hear if you think about the technical difficulties we're already facing oh yeah true yeah yeah that's a good point introducing a third a third person into the mix is just gonna end in disaster yeah right okay fair call well look if you meet any interesting people in Europe, feel free to bring them along for a watch on your MacBook.

Yeah, I could do. I've got my friend Ryan Heron, who I'm doing a bit of travelling with, who's a very good cameraman and director. Hey, well, that could be an interesting perspective. I'm meeting him in Berlin, so yeah, that could be a good bit of perspective, couldn't it? Cool. Sounds good, mate. Alright, well, look, stay safe, enjoy Berlin,

and great to hear from you. And fuck this film. Fuck it right in the ass. And the podcast concept. Fuck that, too. Yeah, we're silly men. Very silly. All right, mate.

Have a good day, everyone. Take care. Live every moment. Bye.