The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Twenty Two - Projector

Episode Date: October 24, 2018

The boys are back. Monty in Berlin, Timbo in his new abode. The stakes have never been higher. The boys are on the cusp of world records here (probably). And who just bought a projector to watch the movie for the next 30 times? Well, that would be telling. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the worst idea of all time, or is it? My name is Tim Batt. My name is Guy Montgomery, and we've just watched Grown-Up Sue for the 22nd time. Guy, I feel good about the movie. I feel good about seeing you. I don't know where to begin. I don't know where to jump in this time. I'm full of life and vigor and enthusiasm.

Yeah. Well, we had a little bit of difficulty sort of tracking each other down, or specifically you tracking me down. So it does feel like it's been a while, not only between viewings of the movie, but viewings of your lovely face on Skype, Tim. You look healthy, you look happy.

Thanks. It's so good to see you too. And actually, you're being projected right now onto a 100-inch screen because I've set up a full high-def projector in my bedroom in my new place. So this will be my new Grown Ups 2 viewing experience.

The sound is great. The vision is huge. That is in your room, that screen behind you. This is my bedroom. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah. It's just a wall. It's just a white painted wall. Can you play like Xbox on that screen? Yeah, I've got a PlayStation 3 hooked up right now. I'm looking a white painted wall. Can you play like Xbox on that screen?

Yeah, I've got a PlayStation 3 hooked up right now. I'm looking at it. Yeah. Oh my God. That is like when I was 21 and in university and never left the house, all I did was masturbate and play Xbox 360. That was my wet dream. Welcome. Welcome to Tim Bats reality. 21-year-old Guy Montgomery's hope for the rest of his life. You're exactly where I wanted to be. How's Auckland? And more specifically, you're exactly where I want to be right now. Berlin, Germany. Tell me about it.

It is wonderful, I tell you what. It's a real haven. There's lots of lovely, clean, green, open spaces, like parks everywhere. And it's so cheap that no one works full time. Everyone our age is just walking around, drinking a beer all day, every day. Gorgeous. It's just like young, good-looking people. And everyone speaks English. My German is horrible. That sounds phenomenal.

That sounds like some kind of utopia. Yeah. Like, even last night, what do we do we went out for dinner we got burgers pretty good burgers actually um and there was there was this like spanish band who are walking around the street playing this really happy music made for really happy burger eating experience and then we just went out and had some drinks it was like we got home at like 1 30 very casual but on a sunday night you know and that's the thing with big cities is there's always something to do every

night i guess people everywhere sometimes all it takes to make the perfect urban environment is to attempt to take over the world once and have some ethnic cleansing and then be bitch slapped by the global community and have guilt as part of your societal DNA? Well, I find the guilt thing interesting. Like, I was hanging out with some Germans the other night, and one of them made it, and they'd said something like, they are something Nazi. You know how you call people with grammar Nazi or something?

Sure. They said, is this something Nazi? And I sort of, my ears picked up, because I don't think I've ever heard Germans throwing, you know, I was like you are you allowed to it has been 70 years but people don't forget 70 years that's like one person's life yeah it's like one normal length life that's not very long yeah it's not especially considering what happened which i don't need to remind you guy because i know that you read books but it was pretty serious for those of you who don't know what germany did it was pretty full-on it was a pretty big deal.

I'm so interested. I'd love to go and sit in on like a German history class in high school. Like I think it gets really drilled into them. Like we did a bad thing. Yeah. And it wasn't even you guys. Your ancestors did a bad thing

and you're still wearing that and you're going to wear it for ages. It's part of their curriculum, eh? Like they have to learn what went down. I have to. Which I dig. I dig that. Guy, you're in one of the most

amazing cities in the world. You're in the height of summer. What was your movie-watching experience this week? Grown Ups 2, number 22. How'd you feel? I wouldn't say I loved it,

but I felt like okay. I mean, it was a reasonable hour to watch the movie. It had probably been, what, like 10 days between viewings because of our scheduling conflicts. And it was sort of, it felt, don't get me wrong, Tim, it's not a good movie.

I haven't had an about face on this. I mean, it's still, I wouldn't describe it as watchable, but considering the circumstance, I'm in a pretty good mood. It's stinking hot outside, so it's quite nice and cool in the apartment I did I feel jealous of you when we were watching the movies on Skype

because you had like friends in the room with you and like and then the video cut out an hour in so it's the main issue I'm facing with doing this podcast from abroad is that it does just feel like I'm watching grown-ups too by myself. Yeah, the loneliness factor when you are endeavouring to watch this film 52 times is it's quite big and it's quite dramatic

and it's very depressing if you watch it by yourself. In fact, I'd recommend as much as possible, Guy, I don't know how you'll manage to do it each time, but you really need to make sure you've got another person with you, actually. Well, I sort of did. The two people who were staying in this apartment with me, Joe and Ryan, sort of split the shift. Both of them denounced the movie pretty much within 10 seconds of sitting down.

Oh, I see. Which made it very difficult for me to... Like, Joe was just incredulous the whole time about why we're doing the podcast and I actually couldn't explain it to her usually I can but I was just like well I don't know and she goes why are you doing this I had the exact same conversation with someone in my kitchen

about 10 minutes before I set in to chuck it up on a big 100 inch 1080p screen and yeah it's always a tough... It's a question that you and I, I think, we get a lot separately and sometimes together. And it's never been an easy one to answer.

Why are we watching Grown Ups 2 52 times? There's no real answer. We got vague validation in the form of Paul Cassidy in the New Zealand Herald. The New Zealand Herald, the paper with the largest reach, readership in the country. They did a little piece on us. I think I should find it and read it, actually.

You paid for time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'll just tell you a few things that happened throughout the week. I've been seeing grown-ups, too, in other places. Oh, yeah. I went to a lake two days ago, and there was one side of the lake which you didn't pay for it was sort of just like you can climb over a fence and go down and go for a swim and hang out in a park and on the other side was this huge like sort of party part of the lake like a

whole lot of shirtless people playing volleyball and whatnot and as they were playing volleyball that song teach me how to dougie yeah was. The same song that features in the lakeside party scene in Grown Ups 2. Yeah. And then it's been getting bigger because I've started watching, I've watched a few episodes of a show called The Larry Sanders Show. Have you heard of this show? Yeah, I've heard of The Larry Sanders Show. I haven't watched it, but it's supposed to be quite funny.

It's very good. So it's Gary Shandling who's a comedian. He created a show which is, it's a good so it's gary shandling who's a comedian uh he created a show which is it's a fictitious late night talk show so you see snippets of that show and then it's sort of like behind the scenes sort of like it's a precursor for 30 rock and ricky gervais actually cited as a precursor for the office as well wow um and in one of the episodes of that david spade was a appeared as himself a young david spade this is 22 years ago. He's aged very well, by the way. He has, man.

Because he's not a young man anymore, by any stretch of the imagination. I wonder if he's had work done. But yeah, and he was playing a young upstart comedian in the Larry Sanders show. That's so cool. And then the other one, what was the other one? Oh, the chick, the crazy chick, Summer Hayek's employee.

Yeah, yeah. Did you ever get her name? No, I should, because on the flight over here from Barcelona, I watched an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm on the plane, and she was in it. Oh, true. She played like a nanny, a crazy lady. She's so funny in it.

She plays insane really well. I wonder if she is insane. Probably not. No, she's just got great acting chops. She can act. Anyway, did I pad for time enough? Can you share this information? You did that beautifully.

So Paul Cassidy wrote this about a week ago. In my recent attempts to round up the best New Zealand podcast, the one that is called The Worst Idea of All Time turns out to be the best. That's pretty high praise, man. That's very flattering. Paul Casley, for those of you who don't know, co-created Eating Media Lunch, which is like

seminal in my upbringing. What does seminal mean? Important and early, I think. Yeah. He goes on to say there are other contenders, and Jeremy Wells as Mike Hosking is certainly going off right now, but it's part of a radio show. The worst idea of all time is a pure podcast and can only exist as such.

This is the thing. Up-and-coming local comedians slash broadcasters Guy Montgomery and Tim Batt have set themselves the task of reviewing the film Grown Ups 2 once a week until they can't. They began this journey in mid-February and are still going strong. Grown Ups 2 is an Adam Sandler film film so no surprises that it's puerile as heck and comes packed with a star-studded cast and a cgi moose excuse me it received the most nominations of any film in the 2014 razzies the oscars of crap films but it was beaten out by the execrable movie 43 and deservedly so uh as bat montgomery have detected grown-ups too bad as it is somehow comes alive via repeat viewing i don't know if that's a discovery

we've had it's terrible but compelling also i suspect the insanity of forcing themselves to watch and review every week is akin to the madness suffered by people who decided to kayak the tasman or rollerblade the length of the country i know i oh we don't need the rest of that but you know google it people it's i i really enjoy the comparison that that this is in the same sort of field of insanity as that that kind of pursuit you know yeah it's definitely not as hard we're just watching a shit movie a bunch of times. It is hard. Yeah, but it's not as hard as kayaking the Tasman. I don't think we could compare ourselves to that.

Well, I don't think the person who's kayaked the Tasman could compare what they're doing to watching Grown Ups 2 52 times. I think they're two unique and equally difficult adventures or ventures. You think they're equally difficult? I do. I don't think anyone else in the world has watched the movie this many times. I'm actually going to have a world...

I was thinking about it this morning. I'm going to have a world record when I get back from this trip as the man who's watched Grown Ups 2 in the most countries in the world. And I'm sure that I will have that alone. Yeah, I think you're definitely right there. Because not even Adam Sandler

will re-watch this movie. He made it and he moved on, I'm sure. There's not a doubt in my mind. There's no way Adam Sandler's travelling around the world watching Grown Ups 2 once a week. You'll have the world record as the person to watch Grown Ups 2 in New Zealand the most number of times. That's not a world

record. We'll both be world record holders, which is great. Oh, there you go. There you bloody go so it's all worthwhile um so guy let's talk about the movie uh it takes on okay okay tim i'm just dying to takes on a new life when you when you have it as big as i had it uh like this is the truest sense that i got to how it must have been viewing it in a cinema and um it was pretty cool i've got to say it adds a bit of it in a cinema and um it was pretty cool i've got to say it adds a bit of a new dimension but what it really does as well is it highlights all the

all the stuff that doesn't work like um we've talked about it before but tim meadows uh during the last bit of the movie the big party scene in the yard when the speech is going on i think between the frat boys and some of the adults, Tim Meadows is just goofing off with his wife. He is off the clock. They're just chatting about something. Because there's a moment where everyone's supposed to be quite focused on something that someone else is saying. And he and his wife are just cracking funnies at each other.

And when it's on a big screen, it's clear as day. I agree. I think that's fine though i think that by that stage in the movie you've got a vague handle on the level of professionalism you need to bring and obviously you could say as a paid actor tim meadows should be bringing his a game 100 of the time but he's been sort of um i don't want to use the turn of phrase put through the ringer but his character the character that they gave put through the ringer. But his character, the character that they gave him and the lines that they gave him,

I'm pretty sure that by the time they were shooting this scene, if they shot it chronologically, it's the last scene. He's probably like, you know what, fuck it. I've got this funny idea I'd love to talk about

before I forget it with this. While we're rolling. My actress wife, if we're rolling, it's okay. So be it. And it was, and it was okay. It wasn't, they weren't like, oh, we better do another take. Tim be it and it was and it was okay it wasn't they weren't like oh we better do another take tim meadows fucked it up like goofing around that's

what gets me that was exactly what we were looking for tim meadows that's what gets me that no one gave a shit enough to do a second take so they either didn't notice which wouldn't surprise me because why would you cast your eye too closely over this turd? Or they noticed it and went, eh. Eh. We could get everyone together again to reshoot the scene, or we could just use this take, in which it's the best looking of the lot. I actually noticed something at the party scene on my small laptop computer.

Oh, yes. Andre McKenzie. Yeah. Chris Rock's son. Yeah. He's at the party. He doesn't get any lines or any involvement in the party, but he's there dressed as MC Hammer, I think.

Shit, I've never noticed that. You got a new theme. Congratulations, bro. Thank you. Although, it's an 80s-themed party, and MC Hammer's from the 90s, so I might be wrong. But he's wearing, like, an MC Hammer-looking suit. Right.

Is he wearing what appears to be maternity pants? Because that was sort of the... Well, a lot of the shot is from the midriff up. He's in two shots. And it's sort of... But he, you know those sort of shoulder pads which go out over the shoulder a bit? Yeah, yeah.

Like a little ledge over the shoulder? That was MC Hammer, wasn't it? Michael Jackson had a suit that looked like that. I think for... What album was it? I can remember they wouldn't they wouldn't have made a michael jackson because his little brother is michael jackson that's right good point yeah yeah and what a michael jackson he is hey he's great also i want to bring something up with you mate um guy montgomery did you know that in the 20 times we've watched Grown Ups 2, we've misinterpreted one of the last bits of the film?

Who have you been talking to? Just me. Just old Timbo. Just the right side of the brain. Hear me out. You know when they're at Laminsoft's mum's house eating eggs at the end of the party, and she pulls out a photo album and they bust out a photo of what looks like

I think his name's OJ the guy with the weird eyes and stuff it's not it's Laminsoft because under it it says Eric that's just what he looked like as a kid

no yes that can't be right you go to the part of that movie and bring it up it says eric under it it is him as a baby he just accidentally used to look like that other guy who's in the movie with cross eyes i'm doing it right now tell me i'm wrong bro because I'm not while you do that I'm going to explain what my shining light of the film was this week as well it was quite a delight being able to watch it with some people in the room and I'll admit there were a couple giggles but the giggles really petered out as the film went on and they realized oh this is it and nothing struck them more than the ending and being just a kind of vacuum of plot and storytelling.

But the thing that was my shining light, the one thing that I enjoyed most in the viewing this time was the shell necklace that Patrick Schwarzenegger's wearing. Because you don't see a lot of shell necklaces these days. They were pretty big in the late 90s and early 2000s. Don't get a lot of them these days. But I tell you what, on a big old screen like this, on a projector, really pops.

Really comes out to play. I quite like that. I also had another thought re-Patrick Schwarzenegger in this film, because Stone Cold Steve Austin is at the party. He's dressed as the Terminator. Yes. Oh, right! I wonder if that was

an interesting experience for Patrick to, you know, to be acting against Stone Cold Steve Austin dressed as his father's arguably most famous character. Yeah. I'm sure he's come up against that sort of situation quite a lot in his life, you know. And I was also wondering, I don't know if we've covered it before, but why, I've just found this thing, by the way way and Eric, it does say Eric, and next to it it's the one about the American Scout Association Eric Lamensoff, but I don't think we've misread it.

I don't think it impacts the way you watch the movie, this little detail. No, but you've got to admit, every time you see something that we've either got wrong or that's new, a new thing at this point in the game is golden berry treasure. You know? That's the juice.

That's the sweet juice that we're after right now. Oh, that's the nectar. It's the moving nectar. It's the good stuff. It's the gold coins. It's the gold doubloon. It is the nectar of the gods. It's the milk and honey. Fuck up. It is the tears of a unicorn.

It's the tears of a know my my shining light was actually shaq's entrance i really enjoyed shaq in this viewing cool so it's so ludicrous is there i was thinking that was another interesting thing um when shaq i when he gives the guy the noogie yeah he knows uh and i was like i mean obviously i don't know that anyone would be proud to be in this movie but that's a cool work story that that blonde actor got he's like oh this one time when i was making this movie grown-ups too shaquille o'neal grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and gave me a noogie and then threw me over a building i'd quite like to google that guy as we speak what search terms do i put on because

he's been in a lot of stuff and he's like a teen heartthrob. But he's also like 30 something. He's like 35. Joe actually said who watched a bit

of the movie with me that he was from Twilight as well. Apparently he's a vampire in Twilight. That guy. Really? I didn't know that.

Yeah. Apparently. Emma, one of the friends who was here watching told me that Brayden Higgins is in the Hunger Games but I didn't ask you which one but he's a villain who goes and kills heaps of people

which is weird because I thought I'd seen both of those so far but maybe I've only seen the first one evidently not what was I going to say oh look it wasn't going to be important I can't wait for this episode to be finished hey here's a great thing i'm biking to an old abandoned hospital do you what where hitler used to get treated shit you're doing that um grim what do they call it something tourism like grim tourism where you go to grim sites uh abandoned buildings are

pretty interesting, especially like abandoned sort of public service buildings. They've got this huge airport here that Hitler built, which is now just like a park. Like, I was running around an airport runway the other day. It's awesome. It's so cool. And apparently there was a bit of conflict over here because some folks, some developers,

wanted to put a whole lot of luxury condos up there but the german people of berlin said no this is a public space this is what makes berlin so groovy do you know how cheap it is to live here people pay like 400 euros a month to live in these awesome inner city apartments 400 euros a month do you want some more good news? What? We're probably going to have to watch the movie like tomorrow Oh Oh yeah Because this is last week's And that

Oh come on This is exactly the response I was looking for And I apologise But it was like you were just so happy You're so stoked Why would you want to make me less happy? I don't know but I felt powerful in the moment

and now I feel terrible are we doing it tomorrow or in fact we'll organise the logistics later, do you know what I'm doing tonight I'm not going to let you bring me down I'm going I'm doing this dining in the dark thing have you heard of this? No, tell me about dining in the dark.

Is it better or worse than grown-ups too? I can't say. I haven't done it, but I imagine it's better. You go to a restaurant, and you can either choose your food, you can order it, or you can just say, surprise me. Yeah. And then you're in a holding pen when you do that, and then you get taken into the actual restaurant,

and it's pitch black, and all of the staff are blind or visually impaired and you eat the meal without being able to see anything Wait, so it's been prepared blind as well as you eating it blind? I think, no it doesn't say the chefs are blind Oh, just the servers

Just the waiters and waitresses So the whole meal, you can't see anything and if you don't know what you're eating it's like a different way of tasting it's going to be so cool your senses will be heightened and the other thing is have you got any allergies because I feel like this could go

terribly wrong not that I know of let's find out there's like 8 other people I'm dining with. So there's nine people. And it will change the whole way you have conversation at dinner. Because so much of conversation is based on visual cues and body language. And this will be like, I don't know what to expect.

I'm just so excited. You'd be sniffing around for pheromones, trying to detect clues as to whether people are picking up what you're putting down. That's how it works from here on in. Sniffing around for pheromones trying to detect clues as to whether people are picking up what you're putting down. That's how it works from here on in. Did you actually give me a shining light this week? It was Shaq's entrance. He walks around from behind a school bus

and says, who was with the school bus? And then pulls a gun on everyone. And we just don't care. It might have been off mic, but as we've discussed in the past, he's a cop, he cocks the gun,

that's a loaded gun ready to go that he's just waving at his mates at that point. And then he stops a tyre with his dick. He stops a massive tyre rolling through the city with his dick. That's the way it struck me as weird too. I think they CGI'd it a slightly wrong height. And so he thought it was going to hit above, but it hits his dick. That's the way it struck me as weird too. I think they CGI'd it at a slightly wrong height and so like he thought it was going to hit above but it hits his dick and that moose hits

Taylor Lawton's dick too. Everything's hitting dicks but they seem to ignore it. I also had a theory when I watched it today. I can't remember if we've talked about it before but that Officer Dante

is in love with Shaquille O'Neal. Yes, yes. You brought that up I think in the last episode if memory serves. I see. Yeah, yeah there's the hand holding again today the hand holding and the nipple cleaning yeah yeah yeah somebody

call the police we're already here it's a great guy williams guy williams must have watched the movie recently he did a tweet at us saying he liked the the one of us for officer dante's scenes for some reason yeah it was the first time he says i am the law um apparently he must have been watching it tonight because he was he was tweeting pretty much when we were watching right so i'm not sure what he's up to with his life because i mean he's a he's a working comedian on tv every week he's got his uh radio show high rating isn't he isn't he successful yeah he going isn't aren't things going well for guy williams good for him you know you work hard you deserve that he gave me my first gig did he did he really i opened for him and joseph harper in auckland i did i did a

joke about um i did a joke about personalized license plates. I think I remember your bit about personalized license plates. Is that about sexy dads? Yeah. It's a good bit. Remember that bit? It's a real good bit. Thank you.

Good on you, Guy Montgomery. I don't do it anymore. No, you don't. Now you've gotten all embarrassed. Look at you. Look at you, Guy. I'm just looking. Be proud of your bit. I'm looking at my body.

I'm not wearing a shirt because it's 30 degrees I wasn't going to bring that up but you do appear naked this whole Skype conversation has been conducted in a manner where you do appear naked to me I'm wearing boxes wow we're all grateful for that guy and on that beautiful note I think that might

be our episode today do you have anything you would like to add before we go no not really, sorry it took so long guys yeah apologies for that but hey look we'll put ourselves through the misery like probably tomorrow if not the next day

we'll do a catch up very positive tone in this episode, I feel like. We were both in quite a good mood. Yeah, well, I think it's important we attempt a bit of light and shade, you know, because otherwise no one wants to hear two guys being depressed about their lives for 52 episodes in a row. Or do they?

Leave your feedback. Well, it's hard to say. We'd love some feedback. Actually, I mean, that's an idea. On the Facebook page, why don't we get people to sort of say bits that they like and we can tailor some feedback. Actually, I mean, that's an idea. On the Facebook page, why don't we get people to sort of say bits that they like and we can tailor our podcast. What, of the movie?

Oh, of the podcast. Of the podcast. We can tailor our content to their tastes. Fuck that, mate. Fuck that. That's how the slippery slope of Adam Sandler's career began going down the shitter. He started listening to other people.

You can't pander to listening to other people you can't pander to the crowd guy you can't do it you got to be about the integrity of the project and you got to trust your heart do you know what first of all this project has no integrity second of all people how do you still you can still post your feedback and my team will rudely ignore it I will I will just very craftily shoehorn it into the podcast how dare you sir

how very dare you sir all right let's call it hey that was episode 22 of the worst idea of all time thank you so much for listening

and remember to live every moment and love every day because before you know it your precious Your precious time Slips away Lovely

Goodnight