The Worst Idea Of All Time - Family Time 9
Episode Date: June 7, 2024Papa Monty returns from a very busy few months hawkin’ comedy hither and thither, bringing with him a big ol’ sack of mail from YOU. Tim and Guy break in the new TWIOAT recording studio with a sam...pling of topics from seasons past, including Rob Schneider’s impending Auckland show, a star-studded Emmanuelle reboot, and the ever-looming presence of PB:MC2.Find video episodes and more on our Substack Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Own each step with Peloton.
From their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner.
Whatever your level, embrace it.
Journey starts when you say so.
If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in.
Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes,
led by expert instructors on the Peloton app.
Call yourself a runner.
Peloton all-access membership separate.
Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running.
It's the worst idea.
It's the worst idea of all time.
It's the worst idea. It's the worst idea of all time.
Hi everyone. I can't get my hat brim on the right. What do you need? What do you need
it to be doing? Sometimes when I'm running and I'm wearing a hat,
I don't mind if it's a bit skew-iff.
I actually think it makes it look like I'm really sending it on the run.
Yeah.
But in day-to-day life, when I'm in civvies, I guess.
Is that civilian clothing?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like to have the brim even.
Is that important to you?
Make sure it's not cocked. It's something I'm aware of.
And so, for instance, we're recording this.
This is the first recording that you and I have done in your new studio.
So I would like to tip the hat, a tip of the hat to you.
A tip, not a doff. Well, because I've got headphones over the top of the hat, so I'm not going to do tip the hat, a tip of the hat to you. A tip, not a doff.
Well, because I've got headphones over the top of the hat,
so I'm not going to doff the hat.
I'm not even wearing a hat, so you're doing better than that.
One of the details about the studio is there's a camera
and a monitor facing me.
Oh, yeah.
And so I could see the hat.
And sort of like backing a trailer,
I couldn't figure out.
Oh, yeah, because it's mirrored.
Yeah, so I couldn't figure out which,
see, even now I'm getting it wrong.
So I was doing this because I thought it was,
but I had to be doing that.
You're exacerbating the issue.
It's not really worth worrying about.
What's so charming about it is that I'd say 98% of people
are consuming this, no vision.
I know, but I want all of those who are visualizing me in a hat,
I'd like you to read the hat.
Yeah.
The hat says,
Women want me, fish fear me.
And in the pantheon of guys' funny clothes,
it ranks very high for me.
I've got a lot of pieces that I really enjoy.
That one's very near the tippy top.
And more importantly, is it level?
Yeah, to me it is.
So for everyone imagining how the hat is sitting,
it's sitting how I want it to when I'm in my civvies.
I love that.
How are you, man?
Hey, man, I'm pretty good.
What are the headlines?
Well, Carlo, Richie and I recently recorded another season of our podcast,
Did Titanic Sink?
In the middle of editing it.
Huge.
And we have a very tight deadline.
Okay.
So that's a fantastic piece of news compromised by the reality of delivery.
Well, it's a funny old project because the first time we did it, season one,
Carlo flew over here from Canberra for a week to be with me.
I remember I went and visited them where they were staying in Avondale.
And I remember walking down with Carlo to pick up some cheeseburgers.
Oh, that's so good.
It was a great walk.
I mean, the cheeseburgers, the whole thing was great.
But I remember the walk.
What do you mean? I just remember the cheeseburgers, the whole thing was great. But I remember the walk. What do you mean?
I just remember the walk with him.
You said that in a way, I remember the walk as if it was quite loaded.
I just remember the walk.
I remember walking with him and thinking, this is, you know, I love Carlo.
I'm sure we both do.
And I remember on the walk, in my head, I thought,
this is what it would be like if we lived in the same place.
Carlo is like a human equivalent of your hat.
He's that hat. Yeah.
He's that good.
Yeah.
He's that good.
Women want him.
So.
He had a great opening.
By the way, I just, I'll do one joke.
One of Carlo's jokes.
Go on.
He said he had a great opening where he'd say, so I'm bisexual.
Sorry, everyone.
That's a good joke Carlo and I
were in New Zealand
he came over for a week
to record
five working days
the previous season
and then
we recorded for two days
and we didn't like how it sounded
so then we just started a new
we decided to start a new
starting the Wednesday
we'll start again
we've still got time
and even doing it in five days
was going to be tight we thought doing it in three days pretty tight ambitious then i got laryngitis
on the wednesday and my voice went away yeah so then we recorded all of it on the friday word
laryngitis we we got chelsea your can i say fiance you can say that does it sound cool? Where is my fiance? I cannot find my fiance.
I've lost my fiance before, baby.
We were like, we are fucked.
We need to bring in someone smart and creative who knows story and comedy
and how to get some vibe going.
So we got Chelsea to come in and direct us
for a whole season,
which turned out to be one day.
Overlooked me,
which I thought was interesting.
But you know,
that's your prerogative.
That's fine.
Dog,
it would not have gotten done.
It would not have gotten done.
No way would it have gotten done.
With you not there,
it would have gotten done and it would have been awful.
Like it would have been a hateful,
yet stressy exercise.
With you there,
we would have had a great day
and not handed it in. But with Chelsea there, we would have had a great day and not handed it in.
But with Chelsea there,
we had a pretty great time
and got a fantastic product.
You got the best of both worlds,
as my mick sorry says.
And then that went so well.
That was a very funny podcast.
That went so well
at one best comedy of the year
at the New Zealand Podcast Awards.
Incredible.
It got bronze overall
for all the podcasts,
no matter the genre.
And then we handed a proposal to RNZ to say,
Hey,
wouldn't you like us to make a second season?
And they sat on that for about six months and then came back to us and went,
can you make it for very little money in a month?
And we were like,
where have you guys been?
We handed this in a while ago.
That's good business.
So then we recorded it last Thursday and Friday
So now we're down to two days
Which is better than one
Yeah, I guess down from five, up from one
Yeah, exactly
But the new season's great
We did a, in particular, there's a phone interview
Which is just incredible
With a real person
Just genuinely as a fan of the podcast
And as a friend of you both,
but mostly as an – just imagining I'm siloed off from my personal connection
to you and Carlo.
As a fan of the podcast, it's so exciting that there's another season.
Thanks, man.
It's great.
Yeah.
But that must be – you're not tossing and turning about that, are you?
No, not yet.
Not yet.
You've got a full life.
You've got things going.
I've got two little kids now.
Two little boys.
Yeah, that's a good name.
Remy hit his head yesterday too.
It was really sad.
Dang, how did it happen?
He fell off something at Motet, I want to say he was there.
Were you there?
No, no.
He was in Anki.
Took himself out.
He loves that museum of transport and technology.
He could probably,
I'm teaching him how to do as much stuff as possible
for a two-year-old to do.
You gotta.
I reckon he could navigate the train system pretty well.
And I'm trying to teach him what stops are like,
the relevant ones.
That's sick.
I'm so for outsourcing,
not outsourcing,
I guess that's not the right word.
Encouraging as much, you know.
If you can answer the question without me, don't ask me.
Hard.
If you can do that without me, you do it.
Yeah, yeah.
Trying to get all of his knife skills up.
Oh, now this is an area I can get involved in.
How so?
What kind of knives are you dealing with?
Not especially, I mean, our knives aren't especially sharp at the moment anyway,
but just like she makes.
Oh, so we're talking about the knife knives.
Yeah, she makes her lunch and she makes a ham.
I'll let Rufus in.
Come on in.
He wants to hear about it.
She makes a ham and cheese wrap, you know.
She likes to make a ham and cheese wrap in the morning
and she's always trying to outsource the chopping of the cheese,
which I understand.
It's a slightly cumbersome part of the process.
Cheese is fucking hard.
You should get a cheese slice.
They're not that easy to operate either.
But I'm saying you can do this.
Just keep your cheese holding hand well away from the knife
and just chop the cheese.
And she said, I'm cutting it too chunky.
That's what she says.
And I said, if you keep practicing, soon you'll be cutting it thin.
Yeah, that's true she says. And I said, if you keep practicing, soon you'll be cutting it thin. Yeah, that's true.
And it's, you know, it's good.
Olive's got dyspraxia.
And so I think it's important and very useful for her to use these fine motor skills.
Hard out.
Refine them.
Absolutely.
Get that dog on the mic.
What do you reckon, Rufus?
Ruf, have you got thoughts?
We're doing a parenting podcast at the moment.
So it's a tribute. Yeah. Just a parenting podcast at the moment. So I would say, yeah.
Just a couple of dads over here.
Yeah, but it's been actually awesome.
I've been away so much for work this year.
You really have.
The work you do is comedy.
Yes.
And it's been going great.
Yes, yes, it's going well.
But basically, this week is, I think,
the first full week I've had at home since February.
Fuck.
Chelsea's still away.
She's away for work.
Listener note, it's June.
Yes.
I've had Olive at home.
I've been working an office job writing the Australian spelling bee,
Joseph Moore.
And there's Australian writers, but they're not in the room with us.
Who are the Aussie writers?
We've got some great ones.
We've got a guy called Ben Caution.
Okay.
Very funny.
He's got a special on YouTube.
He's got a Spotify album called Hooli Dooley or something.
Okay.
Alex Ward.
Mean.
Saran Gyerman.
Henry Stone.
Nice.
Maggie Look.
Carlo did some game development.
We've brought in, you know development we've got we've brought in
you know
we've got
the big guns
the big guns
so working on that
and then yeah
just
it's been
this week has been
the closest to normalcy
I've experienced
since
basically February
you need to get your ass
cancelled
so your career
just cools off a little bit
so you can kick your heels up
I'd love to finish this block of work before i got cancelled if possible if you're gonna be
spent just if i don't know what that sort of uh i'm doing it as a favor yeah i know i don't know
what the allowance of the people that you know the the woke mob if it's you who's trying to
cancel me we've got a diary we've got a diary well i'll kick you down so you know we've got a diary. We've got a diary. Well, I'll kick you down.
We've got a few people before we were getting to you,
but we'll just put you down a couple more.
I'm begging you.
We'll get this ABC show over the line.
Don't you worry.
Thank you.
Don't you worry about that.
But, you know, I mean, life is good, man.
It's good to see you.
It's good to see you.
It's good to see Rufus too. It's interesting too, because lots of people have been coming up to me
talking about podcasting a tree.
I can't remember a fucking damn ass thing we said.
We recorded it six months ago now.
Yeah.
In a day.
Start of the year.
Two days.
Spread across two days.
Technical nightmare.
True technical nightmare.
Icarus.
My reach for the sun.
It actually sounds bad.
Very unhappy with the quality of how it's come out.
But I thought I'd lost all the files,
but then I found a few backup ones.
Our fantastic editor, Brendan,
has had quite the task trying to create something
out of what survived.
Well, the actual experience,
if you remove the technical component,
of recording the episodes was a delight.
We had some great guests, found some great trees.
It was summer.
Had Ian on board, our cameraman.
Yeah.
The distillation, you know, the memory of it,
of the actual, you know, I have,
they were all great episodes,
but I really liked the tree
and the conversation with Courtney.
I remember thinking, this is living.
And she made herself at home,
which I really liked too.
I remember her sort of lounging at the foot of the tree,
which is an interesting turn of phrase because trees don't have feet, obviously.
The root.
Well, there was a tree, a tree, a walking tree.
There was a tree of the year.
I'm sorry.
We've got walking trees now.
What is this?
Lord of the Rings?
I'll tell you more about it.
So.
There's a light in here with a fan that is so loud
and it's annoying me.
Northern Rata
or
Metrosodorus Robusta,
the Latin,
located near a cemetery in Karamea
on the South Island's west coast
has won the Tree of the Year Award.
And this is an image of the tree.
That's beautiful.
See, it's got the two legs it looks like
a walking tree i got it on that oh i see what you're saying so is that one tree that's one
tree that's not just one tree that's the oneing tree winning it's the one tree that won yeah buddy
uh so it's so it's just it's good to see you i'm glad that
everyone's good yeah man um you sleeping um sleep's not at an all-time high that was a mistake i just
opened my inbox which i've been avoiding bad vibes dude a couple of days bad vibes in there i'm trying
to get to the friendzone emails um've got to ignore all the other stuff
Yeah
You've just got to put your feet down
I reckon the ones that have all caps in the subject line
And it's like pressing and urgent
Don't want that
Those have got to be your lowest priority ones
Yeah, yeah, fuck all that
Well, while you're doing that, can I say something?
Which might be of interest to listeners in the United Kingdom
Yeah
I'm coming to the United Kingdom
Hello Or should we say tally-ho? Should we say chip-chip? which might be of interest to listeners in the United Kingdom. Yeah. I'm coming to the United Kingdom. Hello.
Or should we say tally-ho?
Should we say chip-chip-perio?
Oh, you've forgotten all your British stuff.
No, no, that's British.
How quickly was that?
So here's the news.
I'm coming to London.
I'm going to do shows at Soho Theatre
on the 15th, 16th and 17th of August.
Then Edinburgh.
Sick.
Yeah, I'm going for the last week of the fringe.
I'll do a week of my show there.
And one big old live spelling bee for any spelling fans.
Huge.
Yeah.
This is huge news.
You need to buy tickets.
Guymontgomery.co.nz, I'm going to say.
I'll have, it will redirect you to my link tree.
And from there.
You used to have Guymont Comedy, right?
As your website.
Yeah.
And it was a cool website.
Yeah.
But,
um,
my friend will,
who made it,
uh,
he was learning how to code.
Sure.
He couldn't,
it's hard to maintain.
Yeah.
I get it.
You do get it.
Hard to maintain.
It's like a,
um,
growing up version of the stroke song.
Hard to explain.
Now for our New Zealand listeners,
cause we've had a
couple of messages about this mainly from joseph moore unfortunately we will not be going to see
rob schneider's live show on june 15th because i think we're both double booked i'm in i'm doing
i am upsettingly but also kind of coolly i'm doing a show in christchurch on the same night
i'm gonna say to more people
than Rob Schneider.
We'll find out
because,
yeah,
when the posters
first popped up
and stuff,
I was like,
we're fucking going.
Dude.
And then I looked
at the calendar
and I was like,
I literally can't.
Not just going,
I actually wanted
to reach out
and ask to open for him.
Yeah,
that would be
fucking sick. He's going gonna fill up the sky city
how you can see i'm on the seating map it's going he's looking pretty good tickets i just want to
know who's going to that i want to know 80 to 100 here's the thing about rob schneider's fan base
because chris parker who's working on commercial radio at the moment was saying is he what station
is he on he's on the edge so what bricky mat leave no he's on drive oh true and he was saying um what's the
deal with rob schneider because they were going to do an interview with more whatever and i was
like oh brother if you've not been tuning in you've missed a lot yeah but so gave him the
download i said basically you know he's he's red-pilled himself he's got this he's a red-pilled himself. He's a red-pilled Buddhist. Yeah, yeah.
He's gone ballistic.
And he was like, who's going to go to the show?
And in my head, I think I figured out who will be at the show.
So it will be sort of alt-right people who are a fan of the political turn he's taken
or who have been following him down the sort of QAnon conspiracy holes.
Do you reckon?
And the other half of them will be
people who have not engaged with his work since the 2000s so it's going to be a real hyper engaged
in the completely disconnected exactly it's going to be a real interesting variety it is
actually devastating because joe you've you're running a gig that Joseph is on. Yeah. So the representation at the Rob Schneider gig is so low.
I know.
I just...
Yeah, it's a blow.
Honestly, it's a genuine blow.
And it's a morbid curiosity, isn't it?
He's been a case study on this podcast for years now.
Indeed.
I am still interested in the question of whether or not we're punching down when we talk about Rob Schneider.
It's an interesting question.
I don't think it's answerable.
It's like a philosophical quandary.
You're not supposed to answer it.
You're supposed to just sort of like chew over it.
Yeah.
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
Are we punching down?
Yeah.
Yeah.
When deriding Rob Schneider?
Don't know.
Do you want a message?
Yeah.
This comes to us from the year 2023.
Do you remember that year?
Yeah,
it was last year.
It was.
And this is, this, this message is over a year old.
Okay.
It's from April.
I was, this time last year, I was in Hamilton.
I checked.
So in April, I don't know where I was.
Probably Melbourne.
Oh, this time 12 months ago, you were in Hamilton.
Yeah.
Sick.
Hello, you brave, beautiful boys.
I've just spent three wonderful months in beautiful Aotearoa.
And as I sit at the Wellington airport preparing to leave,
I thought I should finally email the boys.
And as you sit wherever you are in your life now,
we thought we should finally get to that email.
First, your country is lovely.
I've been traveling a lot,
and nothing beats New Zealand for beautiful views and amazing people.
It's nice to have some context
for when you talk about different places on the pod.
Second, on one of my last nights here,
I dreamt that Guy and I were dating
and on a cruise with his family.
I promise it won't get any weirder than this.
The best part is that Guy's dad kept cracking jokes and guy was
desperate for us to sneak away with him not for any special alone time but because he was so
annoyed by his dad finally that's like it's a detailed dream yeah my dad's there and i don't
like his jokes yeah ah you're gonna need a up. Finally, and the main reason I'm writing to you, is to commend you on making it through real Rob.
Wow.
Yeah.
Crazy outworks.
I guess not so crazy.
It's true.
We talk about Rob Schneider a bit.
As a personal rule, I avoid any media you turn into a podcast called
unless I have seen it already.
I have already seen it.
So far, that's only been cats. However, I do watch the trailers for everything, unless I have seen it already. I have already seen it.
So far, that's only been cats.
However, I do watch the trailers for everything,
so I have some context for the pod.
That was especially helpful for We Are Your Friends since I had no idea what the movie was about
and was able to confirm my suspicion
that Johnny Depp was, in fact, not in that movie.
For every trailer I watched, I could at least see the appeal of why
some people would like the movie or show that was not true for real rob that trailer involves some
sort of argument about how much rob should tip at a coffee shop the dialogue and lack of like
likability of any of the characters was stomach churning i can't remember for sure but i don't
think i was even able to finish the trailer. All that to say, watching that hot garbage even once is testament to being good and brave boys.
All the best to you.
Say my name in that beautiful, sweet Kiwi accent of yours.
Jess.
She, her.
Jess.
Jess, she, her.
I'm not going to apologize for calling you brother.
Brother's an inclusive term, I think.
I think it's all inclusive.
Oh, man, this is another message from
our fine homeland okay hey this is a light laptop on each step with peloton from their pop runs to
walk and talks you define what it means to be a runner whatever your level embrace it journey
starts when you say so if you've got five minutes or 50,
Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs,
walks, and hikes led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner.
Peloton all-access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running.
Yeah, I got a little one.
Also, if you want, you can flip it around.
This might actually be the one time when it's useful.
So you can use it like a tablet.
You can just go like that.
No.
No.
Tim with the tech, eh?
What happens if I touch the keys on the back?
It's like an accordion.
Yeah, it is.
Hello, Mr. Bat.
Hello.
Writer.
I turned 40 this week. Fucking happy birthday for. Hello, Mr. Bat. Hello. Writer. I turned 40 this week.
Fucking happy birthday for last year, dude.
Yeah, 41 now.
Time, it comes for us all.
It's one of the things about time.
It comes for all of us.
Yeah, constantly coming.
Oh, I've just touched something.
We got rid of the message?
Yeah, that looks like a business email. Oh, and we get here oh this is gonna be a night
i've got so many things open i i legit don't know how to get back we got so many things here
uh if if anyone is curious when tim was describing we are your friends i thought
when he was talking about johnny depp i thought who was that guy shiloh fernandez shiloh wait i thought shiloh was uh screw no what was screw's name
school reached out to us that's right i remember that uh 2011 to break through did you close it
maybe you closed it i was not trying to do anything naughty i i i acknowledge that uh alex
schaefer do you know what's tricky as well now that email you open that is now off my to-do list
because it is red well the main thing to remember is someone has turned 40 okay was it andrew
it might have been yes this guy okay i'm to do... Don't do that trick you did.
All right.
The tablet trick.
Okay, well, if you touch the screen, it'll still do stuff.
So feel free to go bananas.
This screen?
Yeah.
That's what happened.
You touched the screen and it did stuff.
Oh.
I am really not good with technology.
Do you think that of me?
I can use it for like the traditional purposes.
I don't think you're great with technology.
No.
Do you think I'm bad?
No, I don't think you're bad.
I don't think.
No, because I'm really considering it.
We've got a lot of years together for me to draw from.
No, I don't think you're bad with technology.
I think you're normal with technology.
Okay.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah.
Appreciate that.
You're welcome.
So a year and three months ago.
He's got the fingers out.
Andrew turned 40.
Yep.
And out of some confused desire to mark the occasion
with a big to-do,
I convinced a group of friends
to watch my wife,
Emmy.
Can we get my wife
one more time, please?
A group of friends
to watch with my wife,
Emmy,
and myself
the fine film
Paul Blart Mall Cop 2.
So, this is your 40th birthday.
This is a once in a lifetime birthday
That's a good point
You're married
One of those
You're married and you've got friends
And this is what you've chosen to do
It was the first viewing for any of us
Oh wow
Since we're spread around the US
They weren't even all together
The sign off on that email indicated to me
It says Montana at the bottom
Oh
I read Mochawaka
Oh
Crazy
So
We're spread around the US
We're watching
Through a popular film streaming platform
That allows simultaneous watching
So
Oh yep
This is even more remarkable to me
You cracked onto that a few years ago
I've done that
Doesn't matter
Demarking the birthday
Not by everyone getting together And watching it Yeah But by a simulcast I cracked onto that a few years ago. I've done that. Doesn't matter. Demarking the birthday,
not by everyone getting together and watching it, but by a simulcast.
There's no sense of revelry to this birthday.
Here's my interpretation.
That's not for you to say.
No, that's not.
People are out there living different online lives now, man.
Maybe the revelry exists on that stream.
Maybe this person's good with technology maybe they are anyhow uh by coincidence of technical difficulties we discovered an
interesting new way to engage with the film one of the watching groups was unable to prevent the
movie sound from coming through their video meeting software as well but thanks to the
background noise filter on the software only
the dialogue of the movie came through this resulted in most of the people watching getting
just dialogue with no soundtrack background effects or any other sound without music cues
to convey the emotional intent if any of the scenes so it became a play uh without this much of the movie took on a very grim tone
many uncomfortable laughs were had yeah i'll bet i'm sure that you all don't need anything more to
make your annual viewing of the film interesting but figured i'd share the fun more specifically
twilight related i've taken up watching the fast and furious films in reverse order with you all
though only once per movie having Having a good time so far.
Hope you two can keep your chins up through the thick of it at the back end here
and look forward to the near weekly new films.
It's referring to when we got down to the lower numbers.
Take care and be well.
This is from Andrew in Montana.
So, Andrew, happy birthday.
Twice.
And I suppose, just to get out in front of 2025, 42.
That's the meaning of life from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?
Yeah.
That's a great book.
And I watched the film adaptation on a plane and actually thought it was pretty all right too.
I heard it was quite all right.
Was it Martin Freeman and Moz Def?
I don't know if Moz Def's in it.
I haven't seen it, but I know Martin Freeman's in it
because he did lots of press.
Yeah.
I'm glad you liked it.
Hey,
happy birthday two times from.
That is interesting to reduce it to a play.
What a crazy way to,
to do that.
And also,
but also like the,
presumably the people watching have their own audio,
but that audio as well.
And it'd be a little bit off
I guess they must have just
Unless they're all watching one
I don't know man
Boggles the mind
Removing a soundtrack from a movie though
It'll fuck up a lot of things
That's an interesting thing to do
For friendzone consideration
Hello Tim Henderson and Gaisu
Gaisu
Tim Henson
Like Jim Henson and Gaiso.
Like both, no?
Yeah.
What are we going for?
Well, Tim Henson to me was like Tim Henman,
who was a former men's British singles tennis player.
Oh.
I don't think he won a major.
Does that connect with Gaiso?
No.
Because I was thinking Jim Henson.
Yeah.
And then maybe one of the puppets.
But now this Jim Henson's got a film about him.
Yes.
They're just going to make documentaries about everyone, are they?
Even someone as unremarkable as Jim Henson.
I am a professional grower of cannabis in Oregon.
Classic.
And I wanted to write to you your many kind words about the quality of our leafy greens
in my neck of the woods.
Oh, wow.
I started binge listening.
How much are we talking about?regon's weed oregon weed what do you say what's the adjective for oregon
oreganoites no they're like oregano not the citizen they're like if something is of oregon
oh oregonian or the origins of oregon oregonian weed. I started binge listening to your podcast a few months ago for work.
For work.
His job, our podcast.
While in the greenhouse.
And at present, I'm five episodes into Podcast in a Tree,
somewhere around the 2021 portion of the feed.
I have also been an avid Till Death Do Us Blart fan for ages
and always, can I say, at least one of us
has something very special planned this year.
And it remains to be seen
how the rest of everyone else is going to go.
But one of us is just doing something pretty big
and you're not going to want to miss this one. One of us is just doing something pretty big.
And you're not going to want to miss this one.
You're going to want to get on board.
The way you've presented that information,
the most exciting outcome is if it only is special for one person. For one person only.
Which might, I don't know, it might happen.
Your particular brand of Kiwi comedy has been a great
way to whittle away the time spent pruning skunk cabbage and guys a prompt you knowledge of passer
by apprentice contestants never ceases to amaze me um is that you talking about amarosa amarosa
okay yes i am hopeful this makes it to the friend zone
Before I fully catch up
But if it does not
Then I'll have no choice but to restart the podcast
From the beginning and listen again in its entirety
Each time I run out of new episodes
Until it is
Say my name even if it isn't
Cayman Edward Charrington III
The Grey Pilgrim
I don't know how to say that
Mithrand
Servant of the Secret Fire
Shepherd of Hobbits
And Elf Friend
Yeah buddy
Cayman
Cayman's a good name
That's a beautiful message
That's so lovely
And
It was really strong
I remember that about
The weed in Oregon
And I loved the state
Because it kind of reminded me of home
We had it a lot I remember We had a good time in Oregon And I loved the state Because it kind of reminded me of home We had it a lot
I remember
We had a good time in Oregon
Yeah
Portland was cool
Yeah
Layout simple
Flat, leafy
Shades of home
Legal, strong weed
My tolerance for weed is
I wouldn't say at an all-time low
But I think if I had any of what you're describing now
Oh yeah
It would absolutely
Send me sideways um this is a real short one i'm just going to read it hey tim
saw a snippet on youtube poor people's netflix youtube is the thinking man's netflix can i say
this youtube is going to outlast all streamers and social media platforms yeah it's quite crazy
that they appear to have cracked it.
Yeah.
I read a long...
And I guess they're sitting on all this data now.
So when the AI age flourishes as it is,
I guess they're sweet there too.
I've actually been too...
I don't want to say too busy,
but I'm too distracted to engage with any AI.
Until you said AI then,
I sort of forgot it was happening.
Dude, I don't think people are actually using it.
Really?
I think people who make computers have found,
like computers have kind of leveled out
for the last few years.
They stopped improving by these leaps and bounds
because they're good enough for everything now.
Gaming's the only thing That I know of
That's sort of pushing things
Like
A really cheap computer
Can serve your average person pretty well
Yeah
So they need to kind of come up with something
They're like
What about this fucking thing?
Yeah
What about this fucking thing?
It's like
Do I need that?
No
Does it do anything for me?
Not really
Not yet
But one day we think it might
And this is Tim Bad Batt who's saying this.
Here's a guy in the know.
I just want to quickly say,
while we're talking about gaming,
I've been really enjoying,
in my downtime,
I've been watching some of Tom Walker's
stream compilations on his YouTube.
Yeah.
The GTA.
The GTA at full speed.
GTA 4 at a thousand times vehicle speed.
It's just so good.
So funny.
He's so good on it.
Yeah. It rocks hard. Tom Walker is good, I think, is the stream.. So funny. He's so good on it. Yeah.
It rocks hard.
Tom Walker is good,
I think,
is the stream.
Or Tom Walker.
On Twitch.
And everywhere.
Just Google Tom Walker GTA
and you'll be awash with goodies.
He's got a great...
Here's how multifaceted Tom Walker is.
Yeah.
He's got a mime special
on Amazon Prime.
Tom Walker.
I think it's called Beat boop it is one of the
funniest specials i've seen amazon prime and it's it's mime he's a unique talent hey tom
he really is he very very he's like carlo man it's like fucking share a little bit for the
rest of us fellas yeah save save some of it. You know?
Hey Tim, saw a snippet on YouTube.
Poor people's Netflix.
Love it.
Anyway, my drug of choice is songwriting.
Thought you'd like my stuff.
Later, baby.
Sent from my iPhone.
And then it's got a link to brucebrownmusic.com.
Good on you, Bruce.
Bruce.
Bruce Bogsotter. Should I get into get into it oh the website appears to not work that's why you got to be on these we got to be on these emails let me add a www dot nope still nothing
sorry bruce whoa hey i think actually paypal changed the rules and shut down our ability to
get money but before that happened clayton sent us 10 US dollars.
Shout out to Clayton.
And I'd like to pass over to you what Clayton said to us.
This is what Clayton reckons.
Thank you, Clayton, for the money.
Appreciate that.
I've done it.
A lot.
I've figured it all out.
That's not how it starts.
That'd be nice for a sub, Nemo.
It's strong.
Dear custom hot rod and combustion N-guy-
N-guy- N-guy-an.
Engine.
You bet they put guy in the middle.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
N-guy.
It took me a moment to try and figure out what was.
Custom hot rod.
That's straightforward.
Yeah.
Because I've been writing jokes about my name at the end of every spelling.
But I say, you might as well call me Pie Montgomery because I'm off to do some maths.
Or, you know, just, you know. You might as well call me um pie montgomery because i have to do some maths or you know what just you know you might as well call me oh anyway so i've been working on these
sorts of jokes but i i cannot get my head around no no offense you know unsurprisingly the subject
heading of this email is not a phd student, you reckon, Clayton?
This guy is really getting it from you.
And I think you're about six words in.
Six words into the body of this email.
I love the pod.
And thankfully had the ability to send a little coin to the boys for the good you've done me.
While I, unlike your other libertarian listeners, am not a phd student i am a law student well i hope you don't um come at me for slander slander libel liberal keep reading guy
i wanted to give credit where it's due and thank you for your help with my final exams this year
vin and the whole family were vital to one of the answers on my final,
and I know that without my lovely twilight fam to wade through the muck for me,
I wouldn't have used Fast and Furious to ace my exams.
Hey!
Unfortunately, I can't be more specific without breaking the rules
against sharing exam questions,
so I'll leave it to you to imagine why Fast and Furious is vital to the law.
Thanks for everything, boys, and please do not say my name,
just in case my professors are listening.
Dude! everything boys and please do not say my name just in case my professors are listening come on a year on they've requested for their name to not be read a year on it's to do with
What's it called?
Extradition
Oh, nice
What's your guess?
Speeding
That came up in a law exam?
What do you think the question is in a law essay?
The way they'd say it is,
if Brayden was driving at 69 miles per hour
and the speed limit is 50 miles per hour,
how would he plead in court?
The subtext is he's got a body tied up in the boot of the car.
Oh, that's cool. It's the subtext. The students are a body tied up in the boot of the car Oh that's cool
The students are just
You have to intuit that
You have to intuit that
I love that
Because if you don't bring that up
They're like no
The whole thing isn't about the speed
There is such a funny law exam
It's like give you a really straightforward situation
You answer it
They're like no
They've got a body in the boot
It's like what the fuck is this
It's never what it seems
gaslighting
there's never
life is more complicated
than you think
hi frosty boys
I saw this article
and could not resist
sending it over
long time listener
love the show
this is a link to
a CNN article from
I don't know how
they do their dates
so it's either
the 5th of July
or the 7th of May
last year
and it says
website wants to pay you a thousand dollars to watch all 10 Fast and Furious films.
Here's why.
I believe we got sent this a little bit last year.
And I think it's been covered.
I got to say, man,
until hearing people talk about Fast and Furious,
that has been scrubbed clean.
Gone.
Fucking gone.
It's the most recent one
And yet I would say
It's made the least impact
In my brain
Yeah
It's the least sort of
Psychic damage
Well
Do you know what
I always forget about Emmanuel
Yeah
That was
That one
Had to dig in that one
That was a long year
Yeah
Those pornos man
Yeah
Great characters.
The great designer, Thomas Cottle, actually sent me a beautiful Emmanuel poster.
And when I saw that, I thought.
That he made?
No, he just goes on a poster forum or whatever.
And I thought.
They're making a new one.
You know this?
Emmanuel?
Yeah.
No way.
Yeah.
They're making a new one.
We've got to go see it.
You think it's going to get a cinema release?
I think it's kind of like they're going slightly prestige on it.
Like they're bringing it back to its French roots, pun intended.
So this is, I'm going to say this is our last one.
Well, all right then.
I'm looking for news for Emmanuel.
Okay.
Shall I read?
Oh, maybe I made this up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd love for news for Emmanuel. Okay. Shall I read? Oh, maybe I made this up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'd love for you to read this.
I'm still Saigon Pompeii in your emails.
Yeah.
Can you not change that?
Oh, no, I can.
I like that.
Hey, boys.
Love the idea of getting Jenna.
This is Jenna Friedman on the show.
I've been a fan of hers for what seems like decades by now.
Okay.
I see it's a bit less than that from when she did these Ted and Gracie skits.
And then there's a link.
Still love them.
In the past few years, she's been popping up in a lot of my favorite podcasts.
Not sure if she's doing even more guest appearances than others.
I'm not listening to.
But my impression is that the sort of podcasts I'm into are also into her brilliant style of comedy.
However, it's not sort of podcast i'm into also into her brilliant style of comedy however it's not all
comedy pods the one she was most engaged with is extremely political very activist and she's very
much on the side of eat the rich my two cents is that killing her is right up her alley and it
couldn't hurt to bring it up so that whether or not she's interested in watching fast and furious
with strangers she has somebody at the host on the same page even if this never turns political
and thanks for making me a fan of Patty,
as in Patty Harrison.
So this is a lovely email,
but we've probably missed the window of...
Well, maybe, maybe not.
You know, the future is long.
A thing that we might do next
kind of opens us up to maybe...
Talking to people.
Yeah.
Don't you think?
Without them having to subjugate themselves to what we've been doing. Yeah, exactly. It's an appealing concept. Yeah. Don't you think? Without them having to subjugate themselves
to what we've been doing.
Yeah.
Exactly.
It's an appealing concept.
Yeah.
Isn't it?
Yeah.
Hey,
we might like each other.
Yeah.
Hey,
you might not have to
kind of psychically punch yourself
in the dick
to participate in this conversation.
I'm sure I've already shared this
on the podcast.
Probably how we talked about it.
But I shared a room with Jenna
at the Edinburgh Fringe
We weren't doing our shows
At the same time
Oh yeah
You did
Yeah
I thought you meant
Like an ACOM
No
I was very confused
No no no
That's quite an intimate
Thing
We didn't stay together
Gotcha
That's a shame
Gave it a go
Yeah yeah
The Emmanuel film
Is happening
Okay
It's to open
Oh well oh well Oh well, oh well, oh well
Tell me more, tell me more
Who is playing the lead
Tell me more, tell me more
Where is George Lazenby
Nice
It's described as
Audrey
Dywan's Emmanuel
I guess that's the director
It's going to open
San Sebastian Film Festival
Shit
And that's happening
On September 20
That'll be the world premiere
Should we go
Where's that
Where's San Sebastian
Do you think
Look it up
South America
San Sebastian
Film Festival
I think it's Spain
It feels Spanish doesn't it
The Spaniards would love that sort of thing
In San Sebastian Spain
Naomi Watts is in it
Eh?
Naomi Watts is in it
That's pretty out the gate
French actress
I'm gonna fuck this one
How would you say that
first name
Naomi
Naomi
Milan
is Emmanuel
and Naomi Watts
is also in it
Jamie Campbell
Boa
who's from Stranger Things
I don't know who
Jamie Campbell Boa is
this is a star studded
yeah it is.
They're fucking...
They're bringing it back
to the prestigious origins of the franchise.
If I go to news,
Audrey Dewan's Emmanuel.
Yeah, it's on Variety.
It's on all the trades.
Yeah, it's happening.
I was reading that on Deadline.
I watched Singing in the Rain.
Oh!
Have you seen that? I have, weirdly. I've seen so few movies but a phenomenal couple years ago i struggle to believe we've made a better movie
in the 70 intervening years yeah than singing so good really stunning fuck yeah all right make him
laugh cosmo i don't know the actor's name i mean you really used to have to be able to do a lot to
be a star fuck you dude there
were so few people who were movie stars and it was like yeah the ones that were the greatest actor
singer dancer the most charismatic person proper idea of a triple threat is nuts and anything with
practical effects man i mean yeah there was what was so cool about the barbie movie that they
brought that back like big I forget what it's called
But when you get like
You just paint a soundstage
Yeah
And just put shit in there
It looks so much better
It does
Have you seen the new
Mad Max?
Yeah I went on Monday
Was it awesome?
Mad Max
More like IMAX
Was it awesome?
I saw it in IMAX
Yes
Yes it was.
Arguably not as awesome as Fury Road.
Okay.
Not as unrelenting.
Thoroughly enjoyable.
A little long in the tooth for me.
And also the hybrid of some phenomenal set pieces.
Impressively funny.
But the hybrid of practical and CGI effects,
they kind of blurred the line.
I feel like there's a compromise
between George Miller and the studio.
Well, I don't know.
Because wasn't there very little CGI stuff in Fury, right?
Yeah.
And that's kind of made it so visceral.
Exactly.
This one, they've sort of made it hard to tell,
which I can't tell who that's for.
I hate that.
But there's a big chase sequence
with a big sort of war truck in the middle
that is like, you know, the creativity on display with the way
that they get some people into fights and then out of fights.
There's a lot of bodies.
Sick.
I want to go see it.
Yeah.
I'd say worth it.
It's been a bomb.
Might be the last one.
I saw that, which sucks.
But is that the people who reckon,
reckon that might just be like a Cinema thing rather than the movie
Well you know what's been doing gangbusters at the box office
June 2
Garfield
Ah yes
I have heard that
Bit of a problem
I didn't even know
So what is that?
Have they
What's going on?
It's a really
Ugly style of CGI
With
Chris Pratt as Garfield.
Oh, fuck.
But confusingly, he's doing the Mario voice.
Here's to me, Garfield.
They both love lasagna.
I was going to say.
And they both hate Mondays just like Italians.
Samuel L. Jackson plays Garfield's dad who abandoned him and he
comes back into Garfield's life. So they're trying to get Garfield moving around. Yeah.
All right, folks, that's going to do it for us because we actually need to tragically go and
sort out our shit. I want to say it's been a pleasure. Yeah, it's been so nice. So I will.
Tim, it's been a pleasure. So yeah Tim It's been a pleasure So Yeah And
We're going to do another one of these
At least
And then
And then
We might do this thing
That we're thinking of doing
Yeah
Which we hope you enjoy
I think if you like us
You'll like it
I think so
And if you don't like us
If you're listening to this
If you're on the
If you're sitting on the fence
You might like the new thing
If you're listening to this
Out of spite
Or like
You know
There's some people you follow And you're like I just can't I don't like them out of spite or like you know there's some people you follow
and you're like
I just can't
I don't like them
but I just can't stop
if that's us
who's that for you?
oh I know who that is
for you actually
I don't
I don't do that kind of thing
if that's what you're doing
good news
we're going to do more
yeah
I so want to say their name
fueling that
but I don't even know
who you're talking about
I will mention it
after I hit record thank you so much everyone it's um it's been a pleasure and if you want to
see us and get some bonus content join us on twiowat.substack.com if you want to see us in
the trees if you want to see the way the hat falls on the head it's just one tier now. We simplified it. It's flat. Five bucks, you're in the club. Done.
Flat.
Five.
Flat five.
Five.
What's five times twelve?
Sixty.
Bang.
Sixty.
That's an annual membership.
Two years, 120.
See ya.
Three years, 180.
Four years.
Fuck. 240. Five years. 3 years, 180 4 years fuck 240
5 years
300, that can't be right
no that must be right
what's 5 times 6
300, 5 years
600
7 years
no, 6 years
360 600. Seven years? No, six years.
360?
Are we going up in increments of 60 or 80?
It's 60.
So, here's how it goes.
It's $5 a week, a month.
Fuck.
$5 a month.
60 a year.120 every 2 years
$240 every
4 years
$240 is $480
every 8 years
that feels like a good deal
$480 for 8 years of anything
that's a bargain
well
it's what I think
shows what I know
it's the worst idea
it's the worst idea of all time
it's the worst idea it's the worst idea of all time.