The Worst Idea Of All Time - Fifty Four - Failed Taxidermist (Ft. Carlo Ritchie)

Episode Date: September 17, 2017

The boiz are joined by another great boi. A boi from Australia. A boi named Carlo Ritchie. The guy sure kills a lot of cats but he's a lovely host to Monty and friend of the podcast. In this episode, Timbly has created a too-hot and very lonely viewing environment. The trio are pressing on, nevertheless, with explorations into taxidermy, comedy, mirrors and importantly, (deserved) Squirrel's death. Our new recruit (who himself claims to have seen the film 55 times now) also gives us the very clear parallels between WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS and early 20th century revolutionary Russia. What a treat. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands. Now playing.

Are you gonna play that dastardly intro again? Try, try, try, try, try, try, try. Ow! This movie's still fun. It's a cully bastard One of them dies, that guy's screw One of them's a hottie, his name is Jay One of them looks like Johnny Depp

And his name is Johnny Depp Classic Maximum Joseph You forget that films are supposed to have a point Welcome to the worst idea of all time Episode... 54 54 My name is Tim Batt that films are supposed to have a point. Welcome to the worst idea of all time. Episode, oh. 54. What's to say? 54.

My name is Tim Batt, and I'm talking to you from New Zealand. That's right. My name is Guy Montgomery. I am talking to you from Sydney, Australia, and this week we're joined by a special guest, comic and improviser and friend to all, Carlo Ritchie.

Oh my God. Hello, Tim. Carlo Ritchie's here. Yeah yeah you knew he was here tim but you you played uh the full well you could have fooled me what i'm doing is i'm engaging in a little something called being the audience surrogate uh so i'm kind of like their vehicle for emotion you know we can't hear the audience of Guy, but I'm acting as their conduit. Well, through you, we can. Yeah, yeah.

Have you ever tried logging on? They've got a lot of opinions, man. And I tell you what, they want down with Tim Beck. Yeah, they're saying some very intense things about you over here, Tim. Very intense. And that's why Guy was the one to go and I was the one to stay. That's right. It's important, of course, I don't know that we've said it, but Carl and I are recording from Sydney, Australia.

And Tim is in the beautiful suburb of Grainlin in Auckland City in his studio there. True enough. And now, for you and I, Tim, this is the 54th time we've seen this movie. Yes. Which makes for quite an experience. For Carl, I understand...

The 55th. 55th, yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, I have my own podcast. It's called The Best Idea of All Time, and I watch one of my favourite films every week. Wow. It's going to provide a very interesting flavour

to your spot on this, the worst idea of all time. It's a very neat crossover, because this week I don't have to watch it for my own means. I get to watch it through your lens and that's exciting for me. I guess, well, I can't wait to hear your unflappably enthusiastic opinion of this film after your 55th screening. Ready to tuck in.

Now, when I first... Hold on for a second. Carlo, Richie, I want to hear your unflappable opinion of this film also. Let's cut to the chase. Let's give the people what they want. They want Carlo uncut. Well, look, I've said this once. I've said it 55 times.

This film is pure cinema gold. Cellulose gold. Celluloid gold. Cellular gold. It's Cellular Gold. From the opening credits to the German text

right through to the end to the credits, it's an hour and a half of pure magic. That's good. So you also, in your 54 previous screenings, have watched the illegal German stream that I often defer to when I'm not with Tim. That's what we call in the business, De Beste Film.

De Beste Film. Or Das Beste Film, yeah. Is that German for the best? Yeah, the best film. I don't speak the language, but I've got a very keen ear. Oh, wow, man. I've got to say, I didn't notice any of this positivity emanating from your body while we were watching the movie guy i held it in i held it in uh well

i mean this this experience runs entirely contrary to you tim who before we started recording had a very cold dead look in your eyes and said that was challenging it was a very challenging watch i didn't enjoy it never liked the watches by myself and uh what i did what i did guy i'll tell you what i did shall i would you like me to let you know what uh what's happened here because if i may if you just uh give me a moment i'll tell you what's happened here uh if i could just stop you for one second i'll let you know what i've done i just want to go for it if you don't mind yeah i just want to get on and uh let you know what i did in my bit over here what in your time if you just if you just yeah you just hold your horses there monty because i just want to

tell everyone what what's happened over here consider my horses wrangled in hell tim yeah so here here at the podcast fortress what i did is i didn't want the very loud heater to be going while I was recording, you see. So I cranked the heat up to the maximum up until the point when we started recording. So the temperature will naturally form a curvature downwards and approach a normal kind of operating environment at some stage, hopefully before long. But right now I'm in the sweltering heat while it is a decidedly wintry day outside. So it's quite weird looking out and seeing a very grey environment but experiencing a kind of tropical climate yourself.

And I'm just hoping that the temp drops off reasonably quickly. You're wearing an incredibly thick denim jacket as well for those listening at home. It's open though. It can't be helping things. It's unbuttoned. And now do you imagine that cranking the heat up to literally as high as it will go in that very small confined area

we usually watch the film in helped the viewing experience or maybe sort of changed the intensity for the worse so it probably canceled itself out because while there was a very high probability of a fire hazard in a large flame engulfing the small studio and myself uh that was the sort of adrenaline rush of that was counteracted by the fact that i was getting very sleepy and warm due to the temperature. So I've kind of muddled through. Sounds incredibly dangerous. It does, doesn't it? When you put those two things together.

You know, it wasn't until I said it out loud that I realized what a dire circumstance I had potentially put myself in just now. Yeah, well, we're happy to have you here with us, Tim. Me too. It's good to be here. Yeah. Good to be anywhere. And well, Me, sir. It's good to be here. Yeah. Good to be anywhere. Well, isn't it? It's good to be alive.

And how's life for you, man? Where did this slot into your day? It's morning. I got up and I did my ritualistic walk to the cafe to grab a cup of coffee because it's how I like to do it. What makes it ritualistic? Is there some... I mean, is it just the regularityistic is there some i mean is it just the

regularity or is it there's some sort of spiritual aspect to it carlo i won't lie to you and i wasn't going to bring this on on the podcast but guys are really aware of it but i kill a bunch of cats on my way there during the walk you're doing your part for what say? Some would say that. For who? Well, you know, you don't want cats walking around. A lot of people do. People with big cats. Not me. That's exactly what they want. Well, Tim's doing his part.

I'm doing my part. What are you doing? We're all doing our part. Why do you think I keep the bath full of water all day? Because you like to have baths. That's what you said when you showed me around the house. You said, there's the bath full of my bathing water. Well, I've really pulled the wool over your eyes,

or as I like to say, the cat fur over your face while you're asleep. So why is your bath always full of water? He's drowning cats in there, guy. I don't want to burst you a bubble over there or ruin your naivete. Is that how you say it? Naivete.

Thank you. Idaho. Bless you say that word? Naivete. Thank you. Idaho. Bless you. Idaho, I believe. It's actually, you know, it's spelled Arkansas, but it's pronounced Arkansas. Oh, man, Carly, because for those of you listening, I'm staying with Carly presently in his beautiful home.

He's hosting me. Host the men, kill the cats. That's what he's always yeah and you you specifically said to me you said hey man i could i'd really love you could bring me some like kittens if you could stop by in the airport on the way back from the airport i love kittens yeah drowning them yeah specifically everyone loves kittens but carlo loves them in a very particular way oh man when they cease to be kittens and start to be, well, I guess, like a furry stone, I suppose.

My understanding, Carlo, is that this love of yours began with a foray into amateur taxidermy, but then the way I heard it, you got so enamoured with the idea of simply killing the animal and less intrigued with the idea of stuffing them afterwards that you essentially become some sort of animal serial killer. Yes, well, I mean, it's a treacherous slope, the world, in taxidermy. But, you know, many of those who have walked its roads

will find their way in their own sense. The press call you the cat killer, but you call yourself a failed taxidermist. That's what I've got on the cards. Carlo Ritchie, failed taxidermist. I get halfway there. It's a hell of a business card. It'll really stop you in your tracks.

As a man who goes to a lot of business conferences, a lot of mixes, I get a lot of cards, but nothing's quite stopped me in my tracks like Carlo Richie's failed taxidermist introduction on paper. Hell of a thing. Collectors are. Certainly not helping the comedy career. Well, no, it wouldn't. I mean, it's a terrifying thing to hand to a manager. It's a terrifying thing to hand to a manager.

Now, Carlo, obviously, you know, on the best idea of all time, your flailing podcast, which sort of lapsed this by one, you like to champion in the film We Are Your Friends. And often here at Worst Idea of All Time, you know, we do our best, but it can be a struggle. So I turn to you and ask, you know uh what about the film this week really spun your wheels oh there's just there's so many good points in this film well you i mean you sort of you created a narrative throughout the entire screening experience that uh we are your friends reflects uh the russian anarchist revolution 1920s and i think a lot of people

probably be on board with that. Carlo, I know you don't listen to our podcast, but we have talked about that so many fucking times. You're going to bore everyone by bringing it up again. Yeah, sorry, Tim. But go ahead. Obviously. There is, I think that opening shot of him

with his anarchist symbol there beside the laptop, he's turning up the gain. I mean, from that, I thought, yeah, here we go. Russian spring 1920, take me there. And the film continued to impress upon that point, I think. We saw the proletariat struggling to take back the means of production. And unfortunately, the revolution was corrupted. And well, you know, when you betray the revolution and its ideals, you only betray yourself, don't you?

Who was the proletariat in the film and who was the Tsar? I saw Cole as the proletariat and his friend James... Reed. James Reed, the DJ. the proletariat and uh his friend james james reed the dj i felt like he was a former leader of the anarchist movement who had been co-opted by the the the bourgeois the oligarchy the oligarchies uh you know the the sarist forces um And it was really a struggle between those two ideas. Jahid was, of course, Ukraine. Has he always weakened? No, it's a deal.

No, no, hold on. I want to hear more about Jahid being Ukraine. I'm very intrigued by this. Well, there's that line where he comes out and he says, while the Tsar might take our bread, he can never take our ideas. And that's when I clued in. I grabbed Guy and said, see, this is what I'm talking about. I'll say the same thing to you now that I said then, Carlo.

I'm not hearing the same thing to you now that i said then carlo i'm not hearing the same dialogue that you are i think it's because you spike me with pvp just before pcp pcp i would never spike you with pvp i have too much respect for you yeah well no you know it's it look it's it's one reading among what i imagine a cat yeah. I mean, there's so many ways you can watch this film. As detailed in both of our respective podcasts, the best and, of course, worst idea of all time. And over there in your pressure cooker, Tim, did anyone turn in a powerhouse performance this week

that really got you going, or was anyone dragging the chain? First, I would just like to share with you, I'm going to make this my shining light, actually, because I cracked up with no one in particular, just sitting by myself watching the film. When Jahid, they've just got the house, and they're going out to go for their first swim in the new pool, not a looking pool, for this one is a diving pool.

And Jahid yells out, do a backflip screw to a man who isn't even able to get his pants off on concrete and there's just something so funny about getting someone who's failing and asking them to do a far more complicated job than they're already not doing which i love so i was very tickled by the fact that we're watching a man about to absolutely damage himself on the hard concrete outside. Accompanied by Johnny. Going, hey dude, I see you. Do a backflip. Bloody good stuff.

That is good. And that's a testament to the film itself. I mean, that's not even an obtuse shining light that you've sort of, you know, side angled in. That's script writing, acting, editing.

I'll tell you who did a good job this week and that's Megan Oppenheimer because I presume Maximum Joseph couldn't come up with this pearler. But you'll both be well aware of the magical moment where they first enter into the apartment and Jahid says,

what do you give to the man who has everything? And then reveals more mirror for Johnny Depp's role. And his answer to that rhetorical question is, just more of that man. And I have long since held that that is the possibly greatest line in the whole film. And I Googled it to see if they were quoting someone and I don't think they are. I think they wrote that i think megan oppenheimer wrote that for the script and i just

i'm so impressed yeah carlos spoke over the line and just said the word mirrors that is essentially what he's giving him just a bunch of mirrors what do you give to the man who has everything? Antibiotics Because he's got everything You see I think by then he's beyond help though Let's be honest

You're probably right Thanks Carlo It's a good thing you're here Band-aid on a bullet wound Well your son is gravely ill Somehow he has Band-aid on a bullet wound Wow yeah Your son is gravely ill Somehow he has You know

Got every single disease So we're going to give him some mirrors Mirrors are the answer More of him No no We don't want more of him The whole family will get sick No you don't want to spread this

Contain it Shall I share my shining light with you? No, because I want to share another victory from Megan Oppenheimer. I'm just going to keep going briefly, Guy. If you'll excuse me. I haven't been able to talk or see anyone in an hour and a half. It's been very lonely in here. Just want to get it out.

You are sweating profusely. You don't look well, Tim. Well, this isn't what I call a healthy environment for a man to be in. There's a line that Jahi delivers. This house is going to get us arrested, he says. And the prescience, the foreshadowing. Yeah. People at home can't see this, but I did the chef admiring their own meal

with a kiss on their own hand. Beautiful. Horribly unhygienic. Yeah, but it is prescient in a bizarro universe where there are consequences for these characters' actions. But once again, and we are your friends, the house isn't going to get them arrested. You know, being responsible for the manslaughter of their friend Squirrel isn't going to get them arrested you know being responsible for the manslaughter of their friend squirrel isn't going to get them arrested yeah there wasn't enough really sorry i was just gonna say imagine if it was actually the house they got them arrested like the house was haunted and kind of alive and it booked them like a cop house cop i like i think that it is now haunted i mean squirrels

part of the house true like and do you know do you know the ghostly has ghostly song that blows through the house when you least want to hear it it's squirrel whispering the lyrics to santeria by sublime oh gross i do like the idea that one of the conditions that the person who rented the house to jarhead was that if you can all survive a single night, your first night in the house, you can have it for free. And $700 a month. Or I have this house.

And Jahed, like, every time it gets me, Jahed knows that Squirrel's going to die. He gives him the grand tour. And he's like, Zicole, you've got to put some foam on these walls so we can do terrible things without the echoes escaping to the world. Drown a bunch of cats, as is our want. Johnny Depp, you just stay in this room and look at yourself for as long as it takes you not to fuck everything up again. Wasn't that literally a Greek parable?

Who was the guy who was full of himself and fell in love with his reflection in a pool of water? I think that was a dog with a bone. And the dog tries to get the other dog's bone, but little does he know that's his bone. And then he gave the bone to a fish. So he gives him this tour and he goes, you know, so here here you go Zicoli Here you go

Johnny Depp And this is my room And we don't see the scene But I imagine there's a scene Where Squirrel goes Hey what about me man Where am I going to sleep And he goes

Oh no Someone's going to die tonight And you're quite light of frame So it's probably going to be you dude We have done a sweepstakes And unfortunately I win if you die, so there will be consequences to that.

Exactly. Poor fucker, eh? That poor wee fucker, that's what I think each week. I'm interested, did you think that the death of Squirrel was earned by the script in the film? They certainly built him up to be the bad guy. Squirrel? Yeah.

I felt like justice was done when they got Squirrel. You thought justice was done, Carlo Richie? What, they killed Squirrel of a drug overdose? It was preceded by Squirrel saying he was talking about leaving the gang and the gang

doesn't deal kindly with people who are trying to leave the gang the proletariat does not deal if squirrel wants to betray the revolution he's going to be the first against the wall far out man what what other antagonistic actions that squirrel took out during the film were you glad to see there's a lot of scenes where he touches the tip of his cap and just stares at other characters with a menace. A menace that I think is unbecoming of any true friend of the gang. Proletariat specialize in menacing clears.

Towards the ruling class, they must. I think the bigger question that the film never addresses is whose car do they use once Squirrel is dead? Oh, man. How do they get around after that uber i guess unless squirrel had a life insurance policy and they were the benefactors in which case i'd be doing some serious investigation of the gang fucking a yeah that's house cops job now The house that's a cop Because it's haunted by a dead

Drug overdosed young man Who always wanted to be something more than he was And the maximum you can be Is a law enforcement officer Welcome to House Cop I struggle to imagine What about Squirrel's life so far Would inspire him to take out a life insurance policy?

Because he's a board planner, dude. We know he's the smartest member of the gang. He went to university. We know that from the priest junket interviews he did with Zeisvran. It's true. One week, Tim and I watched all of the behind-the-scenes interviews, and we got a lot more exposition than you do in the film. A lot of scenes on the cutting room floor.

It'd be fair to say that the actors in this film thought they were making something altogether different. A full multimedia experience, not just a movie in its standard set. They're really kicking the tires on a whole new way of disseminating information with this film's release. We'll give you 30% during the picture that you're paid to see, but you've got to watch all the press interviews

to get the full story. And if you really want to know the actual ending of the film you're going to have to track down Megan Oppenheimer in her writing cave and answer three riddles. There's clues hidden

throughout the film. If you piece them together it makes a map. And then if you get that map and you place it over the screen while you watch the film, it's the actual 1920s Russia overlay that the film is meant to be set inside of. I mean, I'm really interested to get your guys' thoughts on House Cop, just as an idea. Do you think this thing will fly? I love the idea of this house, this self-policing house.

And it just like, the turnover of tenants would be so high. So like you've got a great vehicle for a series there, you know. Every week some new people come into the house. Yeah. Some sort of crime, maybe real- A house-related crime. Yeah, of course. I mean, it could be drowning cats.

It could be running the heater too long. I'm just plucking random things out of the air here. At random, too. You can imagine, say, after, say, like a few years, when everyone's like, oh, that's the old haunted house on the hill. Don't go up there. They say you can hear the whispers of Santeria by Sublime. That's sung by a squirrel.

It's scary. You know, some young guy who's down on his luck he needs to earn a bit of cash a bit of money he does a bne he breaks into house cop oh my god i'd love to see that a house called justice yeah the name of the house called justice justice house cop that's neat because justice provide the theme song for this movie. Yes, because Paris, they've got some really good music coming out of France right now to misquote our friend.

God, that scene tickles me every week. It's such a waste of time, isn't it? How many cities do you think James Reid from it? What are we doing in the car? Do you think James Reid from The Feelers can actually retain in his head? How many jump cuts do you need in one scene of someone just listing place names? The jump cut's the thing that does it, eh? If it was like, I'm going to ask a question, I'll get an answer. I mean, it's still a waste of time, us being part of that.

But we're there, whatever. But the fact that they jump cut it to suggest that... He's named like 200 countries. Some of the jump cuts, it's like half of it is him saying Dubai and then the cut is to a different shot of him finishing the word Dubai. He's been saying Dubai 600 times in a row. He's like, hey, where's Bentley? You're doing a great job as the character

James Reed from The Feelers, but you're going to need to stop saying Dubai. We're shooting this on celluloid and we are running out of film. I tell you what, though. This house cop named Justice, in my head, the house can kind of move slightly as well But it's a big lumbering mess

It's a very small amount I think it's got to be a small amount Like kind of a glacial movement Very much so It's very patient But it moves like we do It's not kind of magical Like it kind of

It breaks its foundations When it tries to get up And it sort of moves one foot Today You ready? its foundations when it tries to get up and it sort of moves one foot today you ready okay let's go the hunt for the wildest movie of the summer everybody and here this is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately borderlands now playing of the house and then the other. You know when you're shifting a big heavy cardboard box

and you kind of shunt it one side and then the other? It's like a fridge. Or like Baba Yaga. Like Baba Yaga, the Russian fairy tale about a house with the legs of a chicken that goes around trying to find children. How big is the chicken that the legs are from? It's like big chicken legs. Big chicken legs.

Yeah. So proportionate to the house, kind of normal, except that they're not normal. Well, the house is smaller than a normal house, but the legs are way bigger than a normal chicken's legs. Is the house the size of, say, an ordinary chicken's body? Oh, no. No, at least a lot bigger than that.

At least the metric a lot bigger than that. Yeah, a lot being 20 times. A house that's 20 times the size of a chicken. Yeah. Guys, did you have a... Oh, you go. I was going to ask about your shining light, but please continue to talk about...

What is it called? Baba Gum... What? Baba Yaga. Baba Yaga. What? Can you just give us the sort of the cliff notes on the story of Baba Yaga?

Baba Yaga was a witch. She lived in a house, and the house had chicken legs, and they would walk around and there'd be kids not taking care of their chooks, I guess. I'm not sure of the folklore behind what the kids were doing wrong. But Baba Yaga would be there to bloody spook them and get them back on the right path. What a horrifying fairy tale. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a dark place, man. The kids don't even know what they're doing wrong and they're just being spooked by this chicken house. Yeah, yeah. But it fits very neatly. It dovetails very neatly with this pursuit of justice as the house cop and also with the very, very precise and intricate overlay of the Russian revolution that the film has and Baba Yaga does the house with the chicken legs whisper

ska music as well or is that just Justice house cop doing that do you just house cop that's a house cop thing yeah gotcha site specific Baba Yaga would sort of sing Russian folk songs, I guess. Could you perhaps sing one of those Russian folk songs for us now? No. It'd be racist. No, I'd really like to hear it, actually. Well, I mean... But if what you do is offensive You will alienate our core listeners

I wouldn't want to I mean the Russians are the only thing That's keeping this podcast alive right now I've seen the stats Carlo He's not lying We're like the Trump administration We need them Look at the real world

Busting its way Into our podcast Sunday morning in Sydney Sorry Get out of here Things that are happening Don't It's gone now

Are you yelling at your room? My hot Hot room Yes You are very hot Aren't you Tim? He's cracked Hot under the collar

I will tell you my shining light Tim And you can I'll tell both of you So there's a The transit So after Zicoli goes out

Gets spiked with PCP Big night on the Terps With James Reid from the Fiddlers Wakes up in his house Plays him his shitty song Through his iPhone speakers And it was actually refreshing To watch that with you this week

Because you laughed At the notion that They were making him do this it's so humiliating uh but then somerly gives him a ride in in their car right and that's meant to be the planting of the seed of the notion they have chemistry which is absolute horse shit and then the next scene he arrives on the hilltop where he meets up with the fuck boys to exchange money. And there's a shot in between their trip in the car and him arriving at the spot with the boys. And the shot is just a front on shot of the car that Somali is driving, accompanied by the sound effect of, which I will do my best to recreate for you right now. the sound effect of which i will do my best to recreate for you right now

and it's like you know it's like the powerpoint equivalent of transitional shots like it's everything except for a star wipe and the screeching break sound which is my favorite feature of powerpoint i was like how can you i haven't noticed this 53 times before but how can you put this in your movie? Oh, boy. But, I mean, it took 54 watches of the thing to pick it up, so they did good, ultimately, right? Well, I guess if you want to bury shitty shots in your film, yeah. Mission accomplished.

I'm getting quite a severe headache in here, I will not lie. You look like you're really up against it. Yeah, you're really struggling here aren't you tim yep um carly you've given us some highlights from your time watching the film but do you have a specific shining light that you'd like to share i think for a shining light i would say um there there's the scene in the first scene in the nightclub that they're promoting I'd say the Maison scene in that scene is particularly good

there's a shot where he sees her and they shoot it right down this long tunnel of people there's no one in between it it's quite a nice shot to establish that

he was interested in that character that's right I don't remember her name Somaly say again established that he was interested in that character. That's right. I don't remember her name. Somaly. Say again? Somaly.

We call her Somaly. Uh-huh, Somaly. You know, just a shot straight down, a line of dancing people. And it's just fun for me. I said this to you at the time, Guy. What's very fun to me was to imagine at that point there was just a whole bunch of people all dancing in complete quietness with this huge line between them between him and her and that that tickled me yeah yeah you really got a kick out of the idea that all of the extras were just writhing around in deathly silence and you know carlo ever an astute observer of the human condition and filmmaking techniques,

after Somaly's first scene when he says, no, I don't promote here, my friends do, and she walks away, Carlo turned to me and he said, he looked me dead in the eyes, he said, I get the feeling we'll be hearing from her again. He's so good, isn't he, that Carlo? He's perceptive. Yeah, and I said I said nah man absolutely not yeah it's weird that there's an

well it's weird because Guy told me that the other character that comes back that looks exactly like her is actually her twin and a classic mix up

I guess a lot of that's covered in the expositional videos that you guys have watched yeah it's in the press jacket it's all there it must be tough for you to have watched. Yeah, it's in the press jacket. It's all there. It must be tough for you to have watched this 55 times with only 30% of the context for the film.

It makes a big difference. Oh, man, Tim, it's really tough to watch you right now. It genuinely feels like you're expiring. No, I'm good. I googled the word assemblage. I won't lie to you to see what that was all about because it's in the film and uh it means exactly what you think it is it's just the sort of art or process of putting things together or assembling so it's usually an art refers to collages

and i was just disappointed to find out that a word meant exactly what i guessed it probably did you know were you pleased to discover that you are more intelligent than the two lead characters in this film no and when you watch a movie do you assume you are less smart as smart or more smart than the characters a good question. The answer is yes. Well, I think you have answered the question there, Tim, without answering it in a way. Thank you. Whenever I watch a picture, I always assume that I'm less smart because I was always taught when you go to the movies

that they were the golden gods who are our heroes and they can do no wrong. Yeah. So who imparted this lesson on you just terrifying so you you can't see this but tim as if to try and throw us off from my conversation has taken the camera on his phone which is what we're uh speaking to him through right now and put it up as close as you can possibly get to his eyes without losing the context that you're looking at a human eye. He's really cracked in the head.

I wanted to freak you guys out a little bit. Worked, huh? And it worked. Yeah. But also, I do genuinely worry for your health right now, Tim. You're battling hard. Don't worry about old Tim, but he's fine. He's all right.

He's a bad one. But so usually when you say that you sort of have a run-on sentence where you start some crazy highfalutin theory or something to support your statement but now you just taper out to silence nah nah not today buddy not today not in this heat are you saying no I'm not tapering out into silence Or I guess now that you mention it I kind of did trail off at the end there It's just so damn hot In this room you boys

You got no idea I thought it would get less hot But it feels like it's getting more hot I don't know how that's even possible Take off your jacket yeah I'm gonna do that actually yeah

you cover oh you poor bastard any performances you enjoyed didn't enjoy Carly anything any notes from the film that you'd like to get

off your chest I feel like the guy who the guy the guy who ran the business that you'd like to get off your chest um i feel like the guy who the guy the guy who ran the business that they went to work for yeah yeah page harrell dick full of diamonds mouth full of concrete yeah that was just such a Tim's and Skins, everybody. Oh, this good story. I am back.

This is textbook heat madness that we're seeing here. Can you crack a window, Tim? No, there's no windows to crack. A door, perhaps? Yeah. Look, hey, we're in the middle of a record here, fellas. Come on. Treat the podcast with a little bit of integrity, if you would.

You treated your co-host with a little bit of freaking respect as Tim said that he executed a terrifying crash right back into his eyeball. Oh, wow. So the character of Paige Harrell. that's it's a very odd scene he's holding a baseball bat the whole time he's banging things he's talking about how to make money it's a terrifying i don't understand how they thought they were the good guys in that scenario like your boss is literally he's got a bat and he's telling you that land is the key to success.

No good person does a briefing for new employees holding a baseball bat other than maybe a baseball coach or a baseball bat sales person. Is it possible that was his original job, his original calling in life? It's his lucky bat.

I don't know. You guys would know this from the exposition, but is it a lucky bat no they don't really delve too deeply into page's relationship to bents but i agree i mean i think if i went to a new job and my boss was walking around with a an envelope full of cash stuffed down his underpants and a baseball bat while waxing lyrical about fucking precious stones i'd be like yeah it was supposed to be a speech about capitalism and how great it is which harkens back to the film's original discussion of the russian revolution but he kind of gets sidetracked by the sexual allure of diamonds which women have known about for thousands of years akin to carlo richie's getting

led astray from a career of taxidermy into a destitute existence of drowning cats in a tub yeah it all comes back full circle doesn't it much like baba yaga will curl up into a sort of a circle to scare russian children what was the song that Baba Yaga would sing to scare that famous Russian folk song that Baba Yaga would sing? You know, it's Moia, Jatsko, Bendel. Such a conversational singing style, Baba Yaga.

Sort of a real forebear for Bob Dylan, I understand. Okay, no more ice. Tim's gone wild. Tim, you're not even thinking about what we're talking about. You're just trying to figure the most interesting angles you can get on your camera. I am thinking deeply about Baba Yaga. I want to hear the song.

I know it's not coming. I don't know where to go with it. Hey, don't spit it, man. I don't know how to get my disappointment at Carlo Ritchie guest on the podcast. i don't know how to get my disappointment at carlo richie guest on the podcast i know how to express it properly well how about if carlo won't sing us a song tim how about we treat carlo to a little song of our own okay five six seven eight getting Getting sentimental with James Reid. Oh, yeah.

So you'll have noticed in your 55 screenings of this film that James Reid is insistent upon giving a gift to Zicoli. James Reid from the feelers, of course. A sentimental gift contained within a MacBook Pro box. It's a self-serving gift. This is what we know. Carlo, would you like to suggest to us, in the context of the film, as you saw it today,

what you think might be the gift contained within that box? I think it's the leftover cake. It's just what's left over from the cake scene. He's packed it up. There you go. Remember that time I got drunk and threw some cake on the counter? Here's the rest of it.

I want you to have it. It's self-serving because it gets this fucked cake out of my house. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Doesn't he get the... Now, I really should know this. Doesn't the cake thing happen after? Yeah, but the cake thing does happen after.

Oh, does it? Yeah, but as Carlo knows, I was telling him about that extra bit of exposition we saw in the behind-the-scenes stuff. There was this huge subplot where Somely got addicted to baking cakes, and all of the drawers in the house, they were full of cakes.

All of the cushions, she pulled out all the stuffing and filled them with beautifully baked cakes i thought the film was in reverse so i thought the first scene was actually the last scene of the film like a possibly the absurd world we've created so it goes from a guy who's a really good DJ, he's got a new song, and he forgets over time, he forgets the song.

He forgets what his life was about. He revives his friend. He revives his friend. There was a very funny thing where... I'll be the judge of that. Which, oh yeah, where after he gives the sentimental gift full of cake, James Reid says to Ziccoli, after telling him he's going to be playing Summerfest, you better get that track ready.

And then Carlos said, and several others. Hard out. One track does not a set make, eh? Even an opening set, you can't just bang on three minutes of nonsense and go, all right, thanks everybody. Even that last speech of, you know, every DJ starts with one song and then he just goes on rambling.

I said to Guy, every DJ starts with one song, then another, and then a third, and then a fourth song, and then sometimes they'll play as many as 20, 30 songs in a night. Justice isn't allowed to Call itself a house cop

For a single arrest There's got to be What do you call it? Like a trend of behaviour You know? It's not just a one off I could make an arrest A citizen's arrest

I could do one of those It doesn't make me one cop Carlo can't explain away The bevy of dead cats and kittens in his house by saying, no, no, I'm a taxidermist on the evidence of one failed attempt at taxidermy. And the business cards. Yeah, the business cards, I think,

are probably your strongest defense, Mr. Ravitchi. The alibi. Though now having said it. What you need to do, Carlo, is twink out the E-D in and put an ing changing the tense which means you are a taxidermist still yes i can't arrest you then it's so funny for anyone in any career to have a business card that says failing career can you imagine meeting them at a networking event I'm trying hard

I'm giving it everything I've got but it's just not working out for me hey what are you doing I'm a failing accountant oh man what's the market for that really failing businesses anything I've got going for me is this overwhelming self-awareness.

You'd think I'd use it to try a different career, but accountancy's all I almost know. I can do my taxes moderately well and that's keeping me above water. Sometimes I wish I was a failed accountant, but just so the madhouse would end.

Just to feel sweet release from this career I'm shackled to. Poor bastard. It's like Skrill's scar-obsessed spirit forever stalking the grounds of justice. The house cop. It's the same thing, you know? That eternal imprisonment. sucks what happens yeah yeah man got it i'll tell you what i'll tell you a scene that really stuck i don't know what you just last said just then guy and frankly i don't care but uh man having breakfast in the morning they are so fucking chipper here's how I think that scene would have worked if it was a little more realistic.

They were obviously doing a bit of drinking the night prior, and they were doing a lot of drugs. And they got all horned up, and they had sex with each other. We don't know that for certain. Oh, fuck. All right, well, they at a minimum fooled around to the extreme. Will you give me that? Will you concede that? Okay. I will concede that they were fooling around around to the extreme. Will you give me that? Will you concede that?

Okay. I will concede that they were fooling around. To the extreme. To the extreme. Please give him that. To the extreme. So then you wake up in the morning and you'd feel rubbish from the booze.

You'd be coming down from the drugs. You'd be guilt ridden because you've just had sex and you are either someone who's already in a relationship or someone whose mentor is the person who's in the relationship with the other person and then to you wouldn't be sitting down at the breakfast the breakfast table right like it's kind of set up nicely for them to play it for reals because everything's very beautiful it's kind of dimly lit and that's the

bit where all the heaviness would would fall upon you in that moment you go oh god we fucked up and i feel dreadful and i'm about to go to the bathroom and absolutely devastate that porcelain machine but before that my heart is heavy with woe and, and I don't know how we're going to get out of this. And there they are, stuffing their mouths with flapjacks and, you know, delivering terrible half-cooked lines. It is an odd scene. It is an odd scene, the breakfast scene. Also, I don't know what purpose it serves in that. I didn't need to know that they ate breakfast.

Okay, you say that, but I've watched a screening of that film without that scene and the whole thing falls apart from there. Falls over. Well, yeah, because they both got to drive back to Los Angeles, but they crash because they're exhausted. Oh, boy. That scene is vital to the lifeblood of the film.

Oh, God. Tim's just lost his phone camera. I wish you could have seen the video of this podcast. It has been a real fucking journey. It's been a treat for me. Look, I reckon, I'm going to say it to him. I'm worried about your health. I think the sooner we cap this record, the sooner you can get out there and get some fresh air.

Get him out. I need some hydrate. Fuck air, man. I need some water, eh? In a big way. You know, those things aren't mutually exclusive. You can have both. In fact, some would say that they are precursors to each other.

mutually exclusive. You can have both. In fact, some would say that they are precursors to each other. Yeah, but we'd call those people nerds and stuff them in their locker and fill it with shaving foam. I forgot this was such a jocular podcast. That's right.

Have you got anything else you'd like to share before we put a pin in it, Tim? Yeah, kiss my ass, Guy Montgomery. You're a real piece of shit. Tell you what, this week when I get back into the country, one of the first things I'll do, I'll make a beeline for your butthole and I'll pucker up.

Carlo, any parting thoughts or wisdom you'd like to share? Look, it's an interesting film. Watch it at your leisure, I guess. And just be responsible with drugs, I guess. Carlo. You say be irresponsible or responsible? Little column A, little column B. Carlo.

Mm-hmm. What would you rate the film out of 17? Well, that's... Look, I'm going to give it... It's not a total... It's not a total... It's got some very interesting sequences. I'm going to give it 11.

That's high. You know that's high. Within 10 minutes, you turned to me and said, how have you watched this? Yeah, but I can imagine a world in which I could just blank it out of my memory and watch it again. That's not a reason to give it an 11 out of 17 score for the screening you just experienced. Every film that I've ever ranked out of 17, if I can blank it out and watch it again, I've given them 11. And it'd be unfair to the metric.

But you're not measuring the film on it to the matrix. It'd be unfair to the Lord of the Rings. It'd be unfair to Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. All which got 11 out of 17. Well, you are a strange man. But you steam a good ham. I don't really have anything else to say. Carlo, if people want to find you online

and follow your life very closely... Get a warrant. Okay. Good stuff. You've got two chances. Get a warrant or get justice. The house cop. That's right.

If you can find her. If you need her. And I can't remember the rest of the 18-man tray. Oh, fuck. I can't remember the last bit of the 18-man tray. Oh fuck, I can't remember the last bit of the 18-man tray. Dang it. Now if people want to find me online there's a bakery in Chippendale.

It's a suburb here in Sydney. If they ask there, they'll begin a journey that many have walked and few have finished. Well, that's it from us for this week. Be safe out there, everyone. Goodbye. Classic Maximum Joseph.

Agree! Ah! You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run!

Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands. Now playing.