The Worst Idea Of All Time - Fifty Six - Guy-tmare
Episode Date: October 16, 2017Sponsored by DollarShaveClub.comTimbly awakens Guyguy (who is sleeping off a boozy night of activities) with an early morning watch of WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS. Guy's fragile emotional state leads to tears..., pleas and hilarity. Timbly believes Squirrel should be renamed Cody and loves his shirt. Guy can't understand how Dunston Checks In was a hit and gets caught up in the career of young Ben from Friends. But mainly, this is just all about Guy being deeply distressed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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This episode of the Worst Idea of All Time is sponsored by dollarshaveclub.com.
Go to dollarshaveclub.com slash worst idea and get yourself some high quality razors
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More on that in the middle of this nightmarish episode.
Are you going to play that dastardly intro again?
Intro, intro, intro, intro, intro, intro.
Ow!
This movie's still fine.
This is a coley bastard.
One of the guys that goes screw.
One of them's a hottie.
His name is Jay.
One of them looks like Johnny Depp.
And his name is Johnny Depp.
Classic Maximum Joseph.
I agree.
Ah!
You forget that films are supposed to have a point.
Nah.
Now it is.
Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this? I'm just fucking with you. Hi everyone,
welcome to episode 56 of the worst idea of all time, season 3, a podcast. My name is
Tim Bate and I woke up my friend Guy Montgomery this morning.
What is this hellish loop you've trapped me inside?
Bringing in my laptop.
Guy had a pretty reasonable sort of a night last night.
He's had a pretty reasonable sort of a couple of days,
which are all coming to a head.
He's off to New York later this evening.
It's currently 11am.
We've just watched the movie.
I can't express how against his own will Guy has watched the film.
I came in here and he was absolutely defenceless, wrapped up in bed,
just coming to, to start addressing the day.
And he said, what's this?
Because I came in with microphones and a laptop i just
said nothing and then i came and lay down he said what's this and then i hit play and the movie
started playing and he started freaking out on me became increasingly emotional and um despondent. Yeah. I feel so weak and frail.
Yeah.
Defenseless.
Oh, man.
Vulnerable.
Man.
This is not.
This is like, this is not good.
Yeah.
Guy's not in a great spot.
No.
He's just woken up.
Oh, man.
So Zoe comes in.
Yeah.
Yeah, and then there was a little ray of sunshine and hope in my morning
as Tim's wonderful fiancée Zoe delivered us coffees.
And Tim had shut the door behind him.
I don't know why.
I wanted to keep it dark for you to just, you know.
Zoe opened the door, and that was the only opportunity I could see
for this ever to end was through the
other side of the open door
or even really that there is an outside to what's
happening I feel
so trapped right now
and then
I said to Zoe with all the emotion
in my voice can you please leave that
door open
and she
closed it because I said to because I thought it was funny.
And there was an internal struggle going on for Zoe
between the comedy and the kindness.
She's a very kind person, but she appreciates a good gag as much as we do.
Yeah, so Zoe shut the door, and then I cried a little bit.
Yeah, you did.
It's all just come to a bit of a head, hasn't it, Guy?
It really has.
Today's a huge day.
Guy's off to New York City in a matter of hours.
Sure am.
You didn't see this one coming.
You didn't see this episode of the podcast coming.
Not at all, Tim.
I can think of, you know, it's not like I have things to do today.
I can think of nothing.
I texted you. I said, are you not like I have things to do today. I can think of nothing. I texted you.
I said, are you in the house?
You said, yes.
And then I came in.
I was trying to figure out what was going on.
This is what's going on.
Yeah, it's all happening.
Tim, how was that for you?
So much better than for you, man.
That's all I can say, really.
That I could taste what a bad idea it was to throw at you.
You know, like it was visceral.
I'm interested here because we do, and have spoken about this before,
whereby, you know, we have access to each other at emotional low points,
which otherwise, you know is uh otherwise
we wouldn't and which outside of the context of the podcast as a friend you would probably look
out for the other person and be like hey so how did it feel watching that movie with me yeah
knowing what i was going through was it like this is this is good this is for a greater cause or
were you like okay i'm maybe being a little bit of a
bad guy here um i actually can't remember what it was there was one moment where i felt maybe i'd
overstepped the line but apart from do you know what it was when i was crying tears out of my
eyes no no that was funny that was all good stuff i enjoyed that uh it was another it was another
moment but maybe it'll come to me later when When I was putting on the thousand-yard stare.
That could have been it.
There was something I said to you, I think, that really you weren't happy about.
I can't remember what it was, though.
The moment of respite was I showed you an hour into the movie.
Oh, that's right.
I showed you.
Oh, this is quite dark though
yeah
yeah but you say it
because you know
it's important for us to share
on the record
you want me to say what
what I said
I showed like a one minute
YouTube video to Tim
that was very funny
and we laughed and laughed
and I said to Tim
as soon as it finished
I said
that is the first time
I've felt joy today
and Tim said
I want you to remember that I let you have that.
Like a captor.
It's fucking dark, but it was, you know, it's all in good fun.
Yeah.
Even now.
Yeah, it does.
I'm on edge.
Bounce back out, man.
But, hey, in answer to your question, it was all good, eh?
I haven't seen the movie in that state for a fortnight
because we watched the arthouse version.
Yeah.
Which just even as I was watching it this week as well,
I couldn't stop thinking about how much work Kind Eric put into that.
Didn't he do a good job?
Immeasurably good.
We love Mr. Eric.
Can you throw some words at me
that would describe how you found this watch?
This 56th watch.
Can you believe that, dude?
56 watches of this garbage film.
Harrowing.
Exhausting.
Agitating.
Emotional.
Probably.
Good words so far.
I wouldn't use any.
I wouldn't say any of those words are good.
Like they all have negative connotations.
What those words mean is that it was.
Yeah.
It's not good, is it? No, it's not good is it no it's not good it's not good it's good it's funny for me it's not funny for you i feel for you a little bit but not so much that
i can't appreciate the humor in it yeah well like the thing is tim you're gonna need to generate
virtually all of the content for this episode of the podcast. Let's jump into it.
It's like Michelle Obama said,
when the guy goes low, I go high.
So here it is.
That is one of the classic Tim Bette tales
that you're about to wind up to some long,
snaking, improvised anecdote.
So here it is, or so there we were.
But it's like your brain, it's like literally watching the buffer that rainbow pinwheel come up on your face like i'm watching
you buffer when you say that i don't know what's coming out none of us do we are your friends
after 56 watches a review four boys alike in kind and fear the valley where we lay our scene
full of dreams full of hope full of vigor full of youth they don't have dreams they do have dreams
they're just not good how do they know i don't think anyone in this movie has left the valley
certainly none of the four main guys how do they know that the sushi available in the one place they've been in their lives is the best sushi
in a made-up hemisphere yeah they keep referring to the sushi at the strip mall as being the best
in the western hemisphere there's so many things wrong with it first of all i've i've never had
that sushi the boys have had it doesn't. I can objectively tell them they're incorrect.
They must be.
It's a strip mall.
It's going to have passable sushi at best.
Second.
That's very American to me.
What?
Dismissing the sushi or saying that sushi is the greatest sushi?
I know the best sushi place.
Yeah.
We have to go there.
It's a lie.
I know a sushi place.
Yeah. You don't know the best sushi
place no one knows the best sushi place no just admit it just admit it man you don't know the
best sushi place you know a place where we think is is it are they is it implicit that what they're
saying is i know the best sushi place you know nearby here's what i need to tell you about
americans before you venture
off to new york i need all the tips i can get this is this is what they base their identity on
knowing the best thing yeah this is what they hang their hat on if they don't have that they
have nothing so americans just uh scurry around all weekend long looking for the best of everything
you're the best
around
oh man
the finest sushi
in this god forsaken town
yeah
Jarhead
this entire identity
is built around
being severely dehydrated
yeah
telling people
not to call him bro
if they don't know him
and telling other people where to get the best sushi.
And it doesn't matter if the other people who he's telling where to get the best sushi
are engaged in a two-person conversation that he's not a part of.
He's too dehydrated to know.
Yeah, he's hallucinating.
He's sitting by a pool while a couple, like two people,
a guy and a girl are flirting with each other at this party.
It's going well.
This is by the looking pool.
And she says, do you want to know something fun fact?
I never get sushi on Mondays because all the fish markets are closed, so it's all old fish.
She didn't say that.
If she said the word fish twice, that would actually be a funny sentence.
Don't you think?
Yeah.
That's a little cheat code
for everybody if you want to say something funny just put the word fish in a sentence twice
but then he just wades in and says uh you want to know something interesting
the best sushi in the world is that fucking cafe sushi and the shit strip mall that i go to
it's neither interesting nor accurate yeah nor. Nor like there was no opening.
There was no opportunity.
Their body language shuts him off.
Yeah.
He's sitting on a chair leaning into,
if I was at a party and a guy was just leaning into the conversation like that,
actually, I'm a sucker for social grace,
so I'd probably let him in.
But watching that today, I was furious.
Yeah, yeah.
And you've got every right to be.
Because Hillary Clinton, the guy in. Yeah, yeah. And you've got every right to be because Hillary Clinton,
the guy in the movie,
not the politician,
he doesn't strike me as a man
who does well with the ladies all the time,
but this is going well for him
by the looking pool
with Dancing Girl
with the bright lipstick on.
And it's just like,
just let him have it, my dude.
Absolutely. Jai Head, I don't even think has interest in the woman. And it's just like, just let him have it, my dude. Absolutely.
Jahid, I don't even think, has interest in the woman.
I think he just doesn't.
He's too dry to figure out what's happening.
So he's just like, oh, they're talking about fish.
I've got something for this.
I know the greatest sushi place in the Western Hemisphere.
People are like, hey, man, you're coming in pretty thick and fast.
Also, that's and fast. Also,
that's not true.
Also,
have you seen a globe?
There's an equator and you go north
or south of that.
He's a flat earther.
I can imagine
Jarhead says,
you know,
Jarhead goes,
well,
if the world's round
then how come
everything in London
isn't upside down?
You know,
like,
the guy.
Open hearts, Jarhead, flat earth.
Yeah.
The guy needs, he needs a glass of water.
There's no end game.
You're right.
There's no point to what he's saying.
He doesn't want anything out of it.
He doesn't want to be friends with either of the people.
He's like the Manchurian candidate.
He's heard someone say a word related to sushi
and he just clicks into dehydrated
autopilot he's just a rock in there it's fucked man it's a crazy way to live it's no way to live
and it's no way to attend a party that uh he also wasn't invited to i might add you know there's a
lot of context to this he shows up at the party because they've come to pick zikoli up and decides
to just party and um i won't say a lot of good things about James Reid, but he lets the boys stay.
He lets the gang hang out.
We've had a conversation about this before, about the protocol.
He's picking up, Ziccoli is, because it is a grey area, Ziccoli is at work technically.
He's working a party, like a cool party at a cool house, but he is on the job.
Yes.
So when the boys come to pick him up, I don't think he can drive.
He's a collie.
Never seen him at the wheel.
He's a passenger.
He is a passenger.
Yeah.
Wow.
I can't believe Iggy Pop just came in to sing one line from the titular song, The Passenger, and then leave.
He's like that, though.
He's like a little leathery handbag who just pops into scene and then bails again.
You know, if Iggy Pop is still alive...
Oh, I'm confident he is.
Yeah, he is at time of record.
Hey, you want to know why he's still alive?
Because he's got a lust for life, guy.
Oh, I thought you were going to say because he's a passenger.
Yours is better.
It doesn't make any sense.
This is where we're at, everybody.
Yeah, I was going to say if he's still alive, that gives me hope.
Okay, cool.
AbraPub, nothing.
I can't remember how I was going to connect that to what we were talking about.
Dude, honestly, at this point, I've thrown a lot at you this morning and if you've got anything to
hang a bit of hope on i'm gonna um try and amplify that i'll let you have it i won't take any more
away from you because i feel like i've been doing a bit of that for my own amusement this morning
and i'm starting to feel a little bit bad about it. Not enough to regret my decisions,
but I still think it's funny.
It's incredible that this will be documented for time immemorial.
This moment.
So my shining light this week,
I'm so glad you asked.
Well, I had a couple of things that I noticed,
but I think my shining light would be
Oh well first off
I thought Squirrel should be named Cody
This watch
Not sure where that came from
Not sure what it relates to
Suite Life of Zack and Cody
I didn't watch a lot of that
It was a Nickelodeon show wasn't it
Maybe Disney
Oh okay
Starring Ben
Ross' son from Friends
Really
And his twin brother
Yeah Ben from Friends That was? And his twin brother.
Yeah, Ben from Friends.
That was Ben.
Was played by twins.
Yeah, yeah.
And they grew up.
So Ross was a bad guy and a bad father.
And they grew up to become people who lived in a hotel.
Is that?
No, that's another show you're thinking of. No, no, their adopted parent.
Oh, no, that is the show.
Sweet Life of Zankodi, they live in a hotel. And then there's the Sweet Life on Death. Hey, what's another show you're thinking of. No, no, they're adopted parents. Oh, no, that is the show. Sweet Life of Zankodi, they live in a hotel.
And then there's the Sweet Life on Deck, where they live on a cruise ship.
Hold on for a second.
Are their parents hoteliers, or is there some other reason for it?
I think their parents are hoteliers.
You'd want to hope so, eh?
Because why else?
When I was, you know, when you're a kid, the idea of living in a hotel is very appealing.
Only to me because my only exposure to a hotel until I was probably about 20 was Home Alone.
Oh, wow.
You didn't watch Dunstan Checks In?
Banned it in our house.
Why?
Monkeys aren't people
and we shouldn't be.
Monkeys aren't people?
We shouldn't be
entertaining that idea.
We're giving it
too much airspace.
It was Jason Alexander.
Not in my house.
A monkey
and I remember
that a lady,
they were trying to get
a sixth star.
Like, you know how there's five-star hotels?
Oh, right, yeah.
They were trying to get a sixth star for their hotel,
which is impossible in the first place.
And I think maybe when the hotel inspector was coming to town,
they also started babysitting the chip.
How did that movie not take off? They also started babysitting a chimp.
How did that movie not take off?
I think it did pretty good.
What is that?
They're very different ideas, aren't they?
Here's a movie about a hotel.
Okay, what's happening with the hotel? It is a struggle to try and get six stars
Out of a possible five
Alright that's insane
Wait I'm not finished
The hotel inspector's in town
What's the conflict I hear you ask
No it's probably that you can't get a six star
It's a stupid idea
What's the conflict I hear you ask
A chimp I'm sorry I hear you ask A chimp
I'm sorry what did you say
A chimpanzee
Have you heard of them
They're like us but
Different
Yeah not in your house
Not in our house
Not when I was growing up
So
You were saying
I was saying.
What were you saying?
I don't know what preceded Zach and Cody.
You wanted Squirrel to be called Cody.
That's right.
I wanted one of them to be called Cody this week.
I was looking at those four boys and I was like,
why don't you ask us as a Cody?
I don't know who to pin it on, but probably Squirrel.
That's interesting.
So anyway, my shining light was his shirt that he's wearing But probably Squirrel That's interesting So anyway
My shining light was his shirt
That he's wearing at the party
That's all
Which party?
The party where he dies
My friend
Oh
It's a universe
Like a galaxy
Kind of a design
A lot of purples on there
You and Squirrel
Actually have quite similar
Fashion sense
Apart from the hats
He wears
Yeah I don't have the confidence
For a hat
Say what you will about those Donald Trump supporters
They love a hat
I wish I had the confidence
To wear hats all the time
Yeah gee whiz
But there's a t-shirt he wears which I think is very Tim
The one with the big eye on it
Yeah I'd fuck with that
You would fuck with that eh
So what your shining light was that you think Skrull should be called Cody
No it's that he was wearing a shirt that I liked yeah there was some other moments but they're not
coming to me immediately that's fair i liked at the start of the movie uh actually i didn't i mean
i didn't like anything and so this feels really at the start as well you you know thought out a
little bit as time went on but boy howdy were you unhappy when I first came in and kicked it off?
What was your shining like?
It was when Jarhead goes out to the car and he says to Squirrel,
because Squirrel's behind the driver's seat,
Jarhead goes, get out, I'm driving.
And Squirrel goes, what?
And then Jarhead just repeats himself.
He goes, get out, I'm driving.
Oh, you did bring that up
I like it
Why did you like it?
Just because it was something new?
No recently
Yeah it's something new
But recently
What I think is one of the funniest gags
Is
When
When someone says something
It's usually
You have to do it yourself
So I'll say something
And someone will go what
And it's not a what
As in what did you say It's a what as to do it yourself So I'll say something and someone will go what And it's not a what as in what did you say
It's a what as in I can't believe that
But treat it as an excuse
Yeah and then I repeat what I said
But louder so I'll yell it
Say something outlandish
Hilarious
Let's play this through
The trip's off I'm not going to New York City
What The trip's off I'm not going to New York City What?
The trip's off
I'm not going to New York City
Ow
This movie's still fine
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Ow!
This movie's still fine.
I've got an idea for a segment.
It's a one-off, and we're just doing it in this episode.
And it's called We Are Your Wedding Friends
And we have to come up with something old, something new, something borrowed
And something blue that we liked from the film
Okay, hey that's quite fun
So something old
Something old
What
So what, just dig up an old shining light?
Yep, you wanna know my fave?
My shining light of shining lights?
Yep
It's Zac Efron delivering that
Impeccable timed line
Impeccably timed line
I'm American
Oh
I'm American, yeah
There's James Reid
From the feelers
Smoking a dube
With our boy
Outside the club
And
Yeah, he gets past the
Spliff
From
From Zicoli
This is James Reid
From the fellows
The fuck
What is in that
Is there tobacco in that
Yeah
Zicoli
Yeah
It's a spliff
A spliff
What are you French
And here's the shining light No I'm American Yeah. It's a coley. Yeah. It's a spliff. A spliff. What are you, French?
And here's the shining light.
No.
I'm American.
It's so good.
It's better when he does it.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, there's two professional actors doing it then. And also usually moving images.
Yeah.
But I thought you did a pretty good job.
Thank you.
You sold that cough big time.
Thank you.
Something old. Thank you. You sold that cough big time. Thank you. Something old.
Something new.
Really enjoyed James Reid from The Feelers' turn as a programmed robot.
First of all, when Zicola comes around after Las Vegas,
so, you know, everything's happened.
The cat's not out of the bag yet, but the tension's in the room.
And James Riffin-Fielders says,
you want anything to drink?
And Zicola goes, I'm going to have what you're having.
And he goes, well, I'm having a San Pellegrino because I'm laying off.
The idea of laying off the booze is drinking a bottle of water once.
It is literally...
I'm really cleaning up my ass.
Yeah, I'm getting my shit together.
One water for me, thank you.
And then after he's drunk the water,
his insatiable thirst for non-alcoholic beverages
is not yet satisfied.
And he says,
I'm going to go and get an energy drink
would anyone else like anything
and it is
the clunkiest sentence
I can't imagine if I was with a friend
and they said that to me I would say
just keep walking
honestly take a lap
and come back when you've thought about the way
you're speaking to me
because that is fucking insane.
I've never heard anyone refer to something as an energy drink.
Even when the thing is an energy drink.
It's a fucking Red Bull.
Mate.
Or a mother.
If you're poor.
Who?
Something.
Who calls it an energy drink?
An energy drink.
Are you insane?
And then when he goes,
Hey, lovely head capsule you've got there.
It's a cap.
What are you doing?
And then when he's walking around in the kitchen in the background
getting the energy drink,
you can just very faintly hear him going,
bleep, blop, bloop, bloop, bloop.
Fucking robot.
See, now this is a challenging thing,
and I'm going to pull back the curtain a little bit here
on the sort of making of process of the podcast but often guy and i will have guy looks
so worried we'll have sensational uh little um ideas spurred out while the film's playing
and you know we never try to recreate those moments onto the podcast because it doesn't
end well you can't recreate a little something that's happened at the moment.
Just so you know, this entire, every episode of this podcast is a B-side.
That is 100% correct.
100% correct.
Just like every episode where I've fucked up the recording has been the funniest episode of the show.
Yeah.
It's the one you'll never hear.
So those episodes that you hear are C-sides.
Not waterfront property something borrowed
i said not waterfront property
he's lost it folks yeah i am all over the map this morning.
Oh my God.
Something borrowed.
Something borrowed.
Well, I mean, Paige steals a house off a woman.
That's a kind of borrowing.
Yeah.
Theft isn't borrowing.
No.
Borrowing has two components, theft and anti-theft.
What's anti-theft?
When you undo the theft.
Oh.
So this is a kind of borrowing, but it's only half borrowing
because there's two parts to borrowing.
That is a very rose-tinted way of looking at burglars that you believe they...
They're borrowers.
Are you familiar with the Terry Pratchett?
Oh, I don't think that's right.
Oh, Abandoned Ship.
No, I know it's with John Goodman.
Well, that's the movie,
the book.
The book is...
I think you're right.
I should have gone with...
I reckon you're smart.
I don't read.
This is the problem.
I'm bad at reading.
Something Borrowed.
Oh, do you know what that would be?
That would be...
Mary Norton.
Okay, I was way off.
Something borrowed will be when we've had a guest on
and they've made light of something.
And who better to reference than
current Billy T nominee Alice Seden?
Yeah, you got it.
Congrats, Alice. You don't listen to this podcast because you're a piece of shit. Yeah. Yeah, you got it Congrats Alice
You don't listen to this podcast
Because you're a piece of shit
Yeah
But when she brought up
The iPhone sort of thing
I can't even remember exactly
What the point she made was
But it was something akin to
Movies use people
Who have a cell phone That's not an iphone like
that's a that's a character device it's like this is a bad person or this is a impoverished person
they don't have an iphone that's right yeah that is which is an android person i took great umbrage
of which alice knew ahead of time that's very funny so that is character development that is
giving someone not an iPhone
is like,
oh, this person's pretty fucking odd.
Yeah.
You say something's not right
with this one.
Hey, mark this
in your handy dandy notebooks, kids,
because this one's probably the villain.
Yeah.
I'll tell you what really shits me
about Cole Carter.
He's running a Galaxy
and a MacBook Pro.
Oh, you're so right.
Bad combo.
It's a mess.
Some people do it, but they're in the severe minority.
Some people want to watch the world burn.
Yeah, hard out.
How do you get things from A to B?
God knows.
He's recording a lot of sounds.
He's probably not going to play nice with his Mac.
Something blue.
The big blue.
The ocean.
There was a shot
when Ziccoli's
getting his shit together
and he's like
kind of
No, not with Squirrel at the Beach?
No, not that one.
When he's hoisting himself up
by his bootstraps.
Is that what people say? Pull yourself up from your bootstraps. Is that what people say?
Pull yourself up from your bootstraps?
That doesn't make any sense to me.
If you pull your own bootstraps, you're in a real quandary.
And you're leaning down.
Yeah.
How can you pull yourself up?
They're basically the floor.
What do you think a bootstrap is?
Well, it's laces, isn't it?
Is it not your laces?
That's what I think too.
On your boots.
So what the fuck's happening there?
The only way that that works is like if you're upside down on a bar
and your feet are kind of locking you in place.
Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
Anyway, the meaninglessness of that saying aside,
there's a shot of Ziccoli by himself looking out at the big blue.
He looks pensive and he's having a think.
What bit are you talking about?
It's inside of the montage of him getting his shit together.
So when he goes running
and when he starts recording
like pretty much
when he has his full blown
nervous breakdown
oh yeah
there's a beautiful moment
of solitude at the beach
and he's looking out
at the ocean
and the ocean's looking
back at him
and he goes
Zach
don't do it
and he goes
what are you saying
Mr Ocean
and he goes
don't do it and he goes what are you saying and he goes, what are you saying, Mr. Russian? And he goes, don't do it.
He goes, what are you saying?
And he goes, I'm sorry I killed your mother.
Oh, plot twist, everyone.
Also, sorry to cut you a rough short, but thus concludes the We Are Your Wedding Friends.
I can't remember what I called it at the start.
Hey, guess what, everyone?
We've found something out about the family tree of the characters of this film.
Paige is Johnny Depp's father.
Oh, yeah.
Huge news.
That's a nice one.
They've got a weird relationship.
Huge news.
It makes perfect sense.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, unless the tree's got long branches.
I am on fire this morning.
So I can't even remember exactly the breadcrumbs which led us to this conclusion,
but it was more like an absence of negating facts.
You know what I mean?
It was like, here's a hypothesis.
Here's how science works, everyone.
I don't know if you're familiar with the scientific method.
I come up with a guess, and if no one can prove me wrong the guess is absolute and we live by the guess
so that's what's happened in the film i guessed that johnny depp was the son of page and there
is nothing to disprove that yeah at no point in the movie does page say to john Depp, you are not my son. So that is the new operating model.
As far as can be told.
Yep.
That's science.
That's science, bitches.
Yeah, that's science, baby.
That is science.
Hey, here's another segment we do sometimes.
It's called, what happened in that bathroom?
Oh, something terrible.
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
Do you know what it is, bro? Tell me. It's you. Oh, something terrible. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Do you know what it is, bro?
Tell me.
It's you.
Oh, no.
And it's one of those crazy doors where you can lock someone in,
like from the outside.
I don't like that.
And the only thing that you've got, the internet hasn't been set up yet
because the Wi-Fi hasn't been installed.
Yeah, yeah.
And all that you have is a, you for some reason have your laptop.
You knew you were going to take a pretty hefty session in there.
Yeah.
So you took your laptop with you and a power cord, which is unbelievable, but go with me
on this.
Yeah, yeah.
And the only piece of media on your laptop is We Are Your Friends.
So you've just been in there
watching it on a loop
while the movie
literally plays out around me
yeah correct
that is so terrible
that is a horror movie because I'll be banging on the door
going stop giving drugs to squirrel
but no one will hear me no one will hear me.
No one will let me out.
But dude, let's apply the scientific method to this.
At no point do we see what's happened in the bathroom
and there is no evidence to disprove this theory I've just had.
So I think you're in the bathroom, dude.
You know, I'm fucking...
Guy, that's what this whole season's been leading up to
you've been in the
house the whole
time
I'm weak enough
still that
I'm afraid that
that's somehow
real
and it's making me
really uncomfortable
like I have a
horrible feeling
in my chest
sorry man
it's pretty funny
though
here's another
segment we do
5 6 7 8 getting sentimental It's pretty funny though Here's another segment we do 5, 6, 7, 8
Getting sentimental
With James Reid
Beep beep boop boop bop
Fucking robot
Yeah
I'm going to acquire an energy drink
From the refrigerator
May I obtain items for you
From the food store?
Do you mean the kitchen?
Yes, friends.
Yes, that's what I said.
No, you didn't say the kitchen.
You called it the food store.
No, I did not call it the food store.
Silence your breathing receptacle or I will hit it.
Are you threatening to punch me?
Yes.
Just say I'll punch you.
I did.
Affirmative.
Yeah, so what?
He goes to the kitchen.
Affirmative.
Yeah, so what?
He goes to the kitchen.
He comes back with an energy drink and a MacBook Pro box,
inside of which is a galaxy.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
Like you were saying before.
It's a funny prank.
Yeah, except not the phone the cosmic concept like there is an entire galaxy within the box like uh oh my god a tiny verse yeah if you will jesus fucking
christ yeah so here's the crazy thing if you've got the willpower and time and enough off-brand energy drinks that you can't mention by name on camera, you can create your own small galaxy in a MacBook Pro box.
It's all possible.
And you get to make the rules.
So within this existence, which is inhabited by many alien species, James Reid is the creator.
he sees James Reed is the creator and can you imagine a universe where the feelers hits are sort of the underpinning of cosmic order of course I can if this podcast has done nothing else in
season three it has established loud clear and on the record that Guy Montgomery is a huge fan of the feelers well how about this in the same way that i am
putting forward a hypothesis that you've been trapped in the bathroom this whole time maybe
we are living in the galaxy that is inside the macbook pro box uh you know how let me throw some
stuff at you here but you already are so you know how um first we had religion explaining what what was
going on you know when we had thunder that's because zeus was angry yes etc etc then we got
some science happening yes and um isaac newton uh published in the 17th century a bunch of rules to
describe motion and how it works and it worked flawlessly to describe things big and small
and what their expected path would be
if we knew the forces acting on it,
until we got down to a very small scale to the quantum level
and then the rules don't work anymore.
So in the same way, I think that this galaxy,
the sort of quantum logic of it,
is all underpinned by Fela's tracks.
That's kind of the rhythm
of the universe.
How many times have I sung that?
I reckon ten. It's weird as well because
I would not put that as their biggest
hit.
Surely Pressure Man. Got the most
mileage for me though.
That one.
Can we finish?
Probably yes.
It's really important to me
that this stops
now.
Any other
business to
attend to?
I'm moving to
New York City.
I'll see you
guys there.
That's it.
I really,
yeah,
I don't want to keep talking
with you about this anymore.
That's alright, man.
Ow! Classic Maximum Joseph
You forget that films are supposed to have a point