The Worst Idea Of All Time - Forty Seven - Land Sharks

Episode Date: July 12, 2017

Timbo imparts a huge lot of knowledge about bears in this episode. Pretty much all he can talk about. Guy's attempts to explain what's in the Macbook Pro box even gets derailed by bear facts. Also, re...gret is expressed over the 60 watch decision, the strength of said commitment is questioned and the boiz throw a spotlight on the forgotten heroine of the film, Sarah. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands. Now playing.
Starting point is 00:00:16 You gonna play that dastardly intro again? Try, try, try, try, try, try, try. Ow! This movie's still fun. There's a colleague past it One of them dies That guy's screw
Starting point is 00:00:28 One of them's a hothead His name is Jack One of them looks like Johnny Depp And his name is Johnny Depp Classic Maximum Joseph Agree!
Starting point is 00:00:38 Ah! You forget that films are supposed to have a point You know sometimes we disrespect the movie and sometimes the movie disrespects us. And I think this week, definitely, the movie disrespected us.
Starting point is 00:00:50 I think that there's a lot of mutual respect, relatively speaking. I think we were very disciplined. Yes, we were. Phones off. Just studious. Workman-like. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:05 It was almost, I think, because, well, I can only speak for myself, and I will only speak for myself, but I was so doggone tired. Yeah. That I was unable to rail against the film as I usually would. Interesting. Exhaustion can often lead, in my experience experience to almost denial of what's happening uh but for exhaustion i guess that makes sense though it sort of just rendered you vulnerable yeah and the movie kind of had its way with you also kind of um not listless list list is that the word listless yeah we didn't have any lists.
Starting point is 00:01:46 We haven't made any lists. We were less lists and more watching a film this week. I think that's the right way around. I think everyone else has it wrong. Oh, damn it. I knew this was going to happen. I was trying to remember right up top what was in that MacBook Pro box because I cracked it this week and I knew I'd forget and I knew I should have written it down. And do you know what I did?
Starting point is 00:02:08 None of those things. It can be tough. If we are going to talk about it, I had a pretty strong inkling on what was in there myself. Really? Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 00:02:19 Look, this is highly unorthodox. Minute and a half in. But shall we? Why not? Getting sentimental with james reed the height of the los angeles summer yes i'm there arid i'm not but i'm saying mentally you've painted such a vivid picture i knew that totally i i Sorry, I'll step back in. No, no, no. No, you go. You keep going. I just want you to know that the way you communicated that when you said, I'm there, was very clear to me.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Okay, I'm coming back in. And I'm in. Cool. The Los Angeles summit. Oh, I am there. And I don't mean physically, because that wouldn't make any sense, because I wouldn't be able to talk on the microphone in the room with you. I mean, like, you have just, you've set me in my mind's eye to be in that environment at that time of the year.
Starting point is 00:03:13 Again, I understood what you were trying to do with language pretty much immediately when you said I'm there. Yeah. So if when I do it. I'll leave you to it. Okay. You go on. So when I do it this time, if you just trust that. Okay. You go on. So when I do it this time,
Starting point is 00:03:26 if you just trust that when you say I'm there, or if you say I'm there, I understand the context with which you're using that turn of phrase. Sure, sure, sure. The Los Angeles summer. Ah, yes. I can feel it. Not literally, because I'm in Auckland at the moment,
Starting point is 00:03:43 and Los Angeles is, I don't know, 10,000 kilometers away. More sort of in theuckland at the moment and los angeles is i don't know 10 000 kilometers away sort of in sense of the the picture i was painting you could experience the the los angeles summer you know me so well yeah you get it incredible what were you saying the los angeles summer yes uh the hot hot uh sun high in the sky and, you know, heat waves coming off the ground on the tar seal. James Reid from the Feelers has been at the supermarket
Starting point is 00:04:15 buying a few things. We've all been there. Yeah. Relatable. That is relatable. Surprisingly, they didn't put it in the movie, actually. So relatable was this trip to the
Starting point is 00:04:25 supermarket he bought himself two heads of broccoli great a handful of overripe avocados yep yep yep yep yep and um 10 kilograms of honey that is a crazy guac yeah well he's actually not all going to be used together he's buying them for different reasons. The handful of overripe avocados, he threw them at his neighbor's house. His neighbor had a really loud house party the night before and had been very disrespectful. And James Reed had said, you know, man, if you don't sort this out, I'm not going to call noise control. I wouldn't disrespect you like that,
Starting point is 00:05:02 but I'm going to throw several brown avocados at your house. Now, that's essentially biological warfare, because what you're doing is you're lobbing a bomb over there that not only will stain his beautiful, I assume, picturesque painted house, but because of the biomass of that rotting fruit. Yeah, it's a stone fruit. It will not only smell, it will attract bears.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Really? Yes. In the Californian summer? Yes. Bears love avocados. They love overripe avocados. They've got a nose for overripe avocados. They will smell it like a shark would smell blood in the water.
Starting point is 00:05:42 A thousand kilometres away. Think of the longest distance you can think of. It's longer than a thousand kilometres. What's longer than that? Two thousand kilometres. Touché. But a bear will be able to smell from a distance of a thousand kilometres away the scent of a rotten...
Starting point is 00:05:59 You'd think we'd hear more about that because we always hear about that piece of shark trivia. Yeah. And to me, the bear one is almost more impressive. Well, bears are just land sharks. So overripe avocado is their version of blood. You know? Okay.
Starting point is 00:06:15 I mean, it feels like parts of that don't quite add up, but I'll take you at your word. You haven't put me wrong so far. Well, you know whenever a bear attacks a man like a human yeah a person non-gender specific if you dig into the records so bears don't discriminate everybody except except in this way 10 out of 10 people attacked by bears are big avocado consumers. I don't even know how you'd study for that. How would they solve for that? The FBI. What?
Starting point is 00:06:54 The Federal Bear Institute. There's another FBI? Yeah. There's two FBIs? Yeah, yeah. The Federal Bear Institute. You got it. And what does this team of people do?
Starting point is 00:07:06 Publicly funded team of detectives that investigate bear attacks. Publicly funded in America. Yep, yep, yep. And their whole job is to try and, over time, reduce the number of bear attacks that happen. So they've got to find correlation between the bear attacks that are occurring. And guess what? How long has this team of investigators been operating?
Starting point is 00:07:33 Well, I believe Edgar Hoover started it in the 40s. I don't know when Edgar Hoover was president, Tim. Was he president? I don't know when Edgar Hoover was president, Tim. Was he president? Look, this is your, I mean, I'm fascinated by everything you're saying, but I don't have any, I don't have a modicum of knowledge about any of this stuff before you told me. So Edgar Hoover did such a great job starting the CIA
Starting point is 00:07:58 that they made a dam in his name, but then when he retired, he started the FBI, the federal beer institute he retired but he still somehow publicly funded it well he he started it the public fund it you ever heard that song we're going on a beer hunt and we're not scared yeah it's the official in-team song of the fbi it was like uh you know how army platoons have their own little ditties? Yeah. It was the FBI's one. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:31 So what you're saying is that what James Reid from the feelers is doing, how well known is the FBI, can I ask? Do you think James Reid... They're in the news all the time. Okay. So, I mean, first of all, James Reid from the feelers must know what he's doing then when he's throwing these avocados that he's really starting something.
Starting point is 00:08:55 Yeah, big time. Yeah. He's coming in weapons hot. I'm also, I just can't get over how attracted and sensitive beers are to smelling avocados. I mean, there are avocados year-round all over California. Yeah. And New Zealand. But luckily, we've got a large body of water and no bears that are here.
Starting point is 00:09:13 So they can swim, but not that far. Yeah. How are there not more bear attacks? Because the FBI's figured out what bears hate. What do bears hate? Honey. Bears love honey. That is, I mean, that is well known.
Starting point is 00:09:34 No, that's propaganda. By who? FBC. What's that? Federal Bear Council, obviously. I'm laughing because this is so obvious I'm just, I'm struck by your lack of knowledge The Federal Bear Council, it's their job to Protect
Starting point is 00:09:56 No, they're, I mean, they're deep state But they've gone bad And they spread bear propaganda that bears love honey bears do not love honey why what why is the thing the fbi their role is to keep bears separated from people so they don't attack them i thought you said it was to investigate the correlation between cause of beard yeah exactly but their overarching mission is to protect both man and bear, okay? They've got an ambivalent agenda. Benevolent, I mean.
Starting point is 00:10:29 And the FBC, they're bad guys. They just want to kill all the bears. It's kind of like in X-Men. You know how Professor Xavier thinks that the humans and the mutants can live together, but Magneto's like, nah, we've got to kill all the humans? The FBC is Magneto in this example. How does them spreading propaganda that bears love honey, how does that get them closer to their...
Starting point is 00:10:51 Because bears hate honey. It would be like saying humans love arsenic, you know? Let's feed heaps of it to them. But people don't feed bears honey. Don't they? No, bears get it for themselves. Wow, I think that's just propaganda that you've been consuming from the FBC.
Starting point is 00:11:09 Man, I've got to say, this did not go in the direction I imagined. What direction did you think it was going to go in? Just by the way. James Reid from the field is throwing the avocados at his neighbor's house. It was just a minor preamble to the actual gift. But, I mean, you've obviously been doing a lot of research
Starting point is 00:11:31 and you've just sprung a lot of new information on me. It doesn't have any bearing on what's about to happen, but it's just I didn't know the gravity of what he was doing before giving the gift. Well, now you do. But let's move forward. I want to hear what's in that macbook pro box well before we can get to that what he does he um he puts the two heads of broccoli in the vegetable
Starting point is 00:11:52 drawer in the fridge he's gonna fry it up later nice fried broccoli i dig that yeah bold he's gonna cook it in uh and a lot of butter and garlic. And he's going to put some sliced almonds in there with it. Oh, I'm there. Yeah. Not physically, though. I hasten to add. I'm not in the kitchen at the moment. I'm in the studio in the backyard.
Starting point is 00:12:16 Once you've explained the way that turn of phrase works once, you really don't need to keep just making sure that you understand what's happening. I still have that one locked and loaded. Okay. But he's not doing that until later. And then he takes a MacBook Pro box from the MacBook Pro he bought himself two days prior. And he's taking the MacBook Pro out of it now. And he doesn't really care for the box.
Starting point is 00:12:39 He's got enough money that he doesn't even care about the warranty. He's just like, this is my MacBook Pro. If it breaks, I'll get another one uh and he fills up the box with honey with all the honey love it yeah and he he wraps back up puts it in the bag and then he he gives it to uh zicoli zicoli opens it and he goes oh my god we're gonna bear hunt on our hands no uh no sorry you go oh he goes, oh my God. We've got a bear hunt on our hands. No. No? Sorry, you go. Well, he goes, oh my God, this is so much honey.
Starting point is 00:13:10 How do you know I love honey so much? He said, Zicoli, I know you better than you think. I know you love bees. Go outside. Look in the letterbox. And Zicoli goes out the front and he's still carrying the MacBook Pro box full of honey. And there is a very angry hive of beesbook pro box full of honey and uh there is a very angry hive of bees oh no are they africanized bees what does that mean they sting you and they
Starting point is 00:13:32 work together uh all bees sting don't they oh if pushed but not like proactively unless they're africanized bees what james reed from the fields the field has done is he's tracked the hive that made the honey inside of the MacBook Pro box. You follow me? This is their honey. This is their honey. Oh, shit. Yeah. God damn.
Starting point is 00:13:53 You weave a good tale. I don't know if these bees are Africanized or not, but they're angry, certainly. And Zicoli goes, wow, they like me because they all look at him. And the collective buzz of the hive falls silent when they can sense their honey, and they look at him, and he goes, wow, they like me, and then they all fly towards him, and he says, they're coming to give me a hug. Oh, no. And James Reid from the field is standing next to Somalini,
Starting point is 00:14:18 he's shaking his head, and he's laughing. He's like my girl. I'm getting a flashback. This is awful. And he goes, bees don't hug. And then the collar gets stung hundreds of times. Oh dear. And it's actually not
Starting point is 00:14:31 summer at all. Do you want to know what the season is? What? It's the fall. It's autumn. And it's actually April 1st. It's April Fools. April 1st. It's April Fool's.
Starting point is 00:14:50 Just wonderful. From front to back. What a great gift. And what an excellent retelling of what happened that day. It was like I was there. Though I hasten to add, I wasn't. Yeah. So that's what was in the box.
Starting point is 00:15:10 Yes. I mean, there was a lot of good little nuggets of information there about the FBI and what bears do and don't like, I've got to say, Tim. Always been a big fan of bears. But outside of the the huge vast sum of information you carry around about all sorts of different trivia uh what were some of your findings from the movie this week whose performance did you find strong well i'll tell you uh i probably noticed in the strongest terms spinny man today ah he's an old he's an old from back in the day he's at the party and he's spinning around
Starting point is 00:15:49 while Zayce Fron is doing a sweet DJ set by the looking pool it's his main dance move spinning spinning around so that's good that's really exciting to me because I don't know that you'd seen him before and I'm not sure they had to it was wonderful
Starting point is 00:16:04 it was like playing with a fidget spinner but seeing it in real life maybe he kicked off the craze didn't i impossible to tell um i think he didn't i'll tell you who else um i really this watch i was i was paying attention to the ladies of this film we're talking sarah oh yeah more specifically just here sarah it felt like i was ramping into a list but more specifically just sarah is probably the certainly the top three in terms of how well drawn they are um female characters in the film uh she comes in weapons hot she knows both zikoli and squirrel she seems to be excited enough to seem to walk up and say hey you know make a request uh have it hit on hit on zicoli i think it'd be fair to say
Starting point is 00:16:53 and dance with squirrel and it's quite exciting you know she's got a lot of energy yeah uh and she certainly feels like she's bringing something in terms of the level of intensity to the film yes is i mean what what is that what you thought absolutely my issue is that she is discarded almost instantly after her introduction we see her she fucks squirrel and then she bails and never to return in the film i'd love to see a bit more of sarah to be honest she seems like a real la scene star like she's at all the parties at all the clubs and i just i'd like to um follow her around for a day you know maybe we could get her a spin-off film yeah in fact that one of the did we meet the guy or did he get in touch with us who's her agent in real life was her talent agent she's a an online superstar of
Starting point is 00:17:42 some description it's funny actually because there's a few in this film aren't there? I think we've talked about it before. There's the guy who's sitting down at the table who says
Starting point is 00:17:50 I'll throw you in a vine and make you famous and shit. A vine. I didn't think it was possible to date a movie that came out
Starting point is 00:17:57 in 2015 quite so badly but they did it. Well done. You picked the one social media platform that didn't make it into 2017 alive
Starting point is 00:18:07 even fucking Myspace is still around you guys hedged your bets on Vine you idiots yeah I can see why you'd go Vine though
Starting point is 00:18:17 in terms of visibility it was either Vine or Instagram I guess because you know you're not going to recognise someone for their great tweets necessarily nah you can't cast you know an egg or a funny cartoon picture It's either Vine or Instagram, I guess, because you're not going to recognize someone for their great tweets, necessarily.
Starting point is 00:18:25 Nah. You can't cast an egg or a funny cartoon picture. It'd be funny to make someone Facebook famous, though, because that's not really how that works. Everyone will add you as a friend. You'll be Facebook famous. Oh, not with a fan page, just your personal page. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Just with you as an individual. Everyone will friend you. What's your metric for accepting friends on Facebook? It's a complicated calculation that mainly centers around number of mutual friends. Yeah. How good is it when there's one of those bots, which is a sexy lady with an Eastern European name. Yes. And she has you.
Starting point is 00:19:06 Or like, you know, you get a few, say, every month, and they've always got the same mutual, all of them have the same mutual friends. It's always the loneliest men. That's what cracks me up. There's always, or generally, at least like one dude who's been like, yep, we're mates. I'm like, oh, fucking hell, dude.
Starting point is 00:19:22 She's not real. That is a hacker trying to steal your shit. How does that work? Do they add you in if you accept them? Do they send you a message? Yeah, I guess so. Strike up a convo. Hey, what's your star sign?
Starting point is 00:19:36 What's your credit card number? Let's keep chatting. Seems too direct. Yeah, probably as a second question is a bit early to be introducing that into the conversation but just giving broad strokes of how that goes down i've got no idea i've never been uh oh someone's trying to hack me at the moment though no shit how are they doing that well i got um i've been getting emails recently from uh different accounts that i've got it started with my steam account which is like games.
Starting point is 00:20:06 It's like Netflix for games. It was around before Netflix. Steam always has very good security. And I've got like a what do you call it? Like the two-factor security thing on it. Yeah. And it checked me an email about a month ago saying, hey, someone in Russia is trying to log in to your
Starting point is 00:20:22 account, bro. Do you want to maybe check on that and definitely change your password while you're at it and i didn't um but then i've been getting emails from like twitter and instagram and stuff as well going hey uh we've detected some suspicious account activity from on each step with peloton from their pop runs to walk and talks you define what it means to be a runner whatever your level embrace it journey starts when you say so if you've got five minutes or 50 peloton tread has workouts you can work in or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs walks and hikes led by expert instructors on the peloton app call yourself runner. Peloton all access membership separate.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running. Today. You ready? Okay, let's go. The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer. Everybody run! Ends here. This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands, now playing. to buy tickets immediately. Borderlands, now playing. Korea, on your account, do you want to change your password and look into that? And?
Starting point is 00:21:31 I really definitely should after I put this podcast out. Yeah. Maybe they're a podcast fan who wants to steal your identity. I don't think that's it. Okay. Well, there's going to be egg all over your face.
Starting point is 00:21:47 I'll feel like a bear in summer with a honeypot. That's where that saying comes from, by the way. What saying? A honeypot. It's a term of art used by people like the FBI. It's the Federal Bureau of Investigation, if you didn't know. Okay. How could the saying derive from bears with honey
Starting point is 00:22:08 and then be accredited to the FBI and for that not to be the Federal Bear Institute? The Federal Bear Institute didn't make it up and neither did the Federal Bureau of Investigation, but the latter FBI use it a lot. The term is honeypot. It's used with spies and espionage and stuff. It means something that you put out there that looks attractive
Starting point is 00:22:30 but will be dangerous for you because the original honeypots were painted in a way that they'd look like rotting avocados so the bears would be attracted to them. And then when they would scoop their hand in and eat it, it was poison for them. So you're telling me that the expression egg on your face derives from the original beer to the honeypot?
Starting point is 00:22:50 Probably. Almost definitely. I don't see any correlation between those two. Are you just throwing stuff out to test me now? Well, just to have egg on your face is... Wait a minute, but you brought up egg on your face, didn't you? Yeah, and then you told me that the original saying of that... No, honeypot.
Starting point is 00:23:06 Honeypot is the one that originated from bears, parlance. Honeypot, not egg on your face. Honeypot. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Still, you know, seems unlikely to me, but- Yeah, you seem- It makes more sense.
Starting point is 00:23:21 Nervously in the sidecar of this motorcycle i'm riding at the moment i wouldn't say and looking to leave at the first red light if i'm being honest trying to leave i'm just um just astounded at how little i i don't think i knew a lot about beers but i thought i had a vague handle on uh what they do and what they eat and their ability to smell. Yeah. If you want to look like a really smart guy in front of beer enthusiasts, don't call them beers. Call them land sharks.
Starting point is 00:23:53 Okay. Thank you, Tim. Welcome. Whose performance did you enjoy this week, Guy? Well, if I may, there was um my shining light this week was uh delivered uh by zicoli doing a very strong piece of acting uh when i might have even dined out on this before but i was so taken by it this week i'll dine out on it again he wakes up after the party and he has a very dry mouth and there's a bottle of water with the cap off which i thought was quite a i think the cap's off or it's certainly only like a third full uh it's just a nice little detail and he immediately has to drink it and as someone who uh has slept
Starting point is 00:24:40 in a lot of hotel rooms where i've sometimes, because of temperature reasons, left the AC on for part of my sleep. That'll really dry your mouth out. Why does that happen? What's going on there? I don't get that. What? What is it about the AC being on that dries you out? Maybe my mouth dries itself out.
Starting point is 00:25:01 No, but it's definitely a thing. You're speaking truth to power right now. Oh. I don't know. is it the circulation does it take okay okay does it take the humidity out of the room it must because if you think about it like if you put your clothes outside on any kind of a day it's kind of the air touching the surface of it that takes a lot of the moisture out even if it's not that sunny it'll dry them out a little bit. But if you put them in a... Not if it's raining, mind.
Starting point is 00:25:29 Well, you've got me there. They'll become wetter then. If you put them in a room... Will they still be clean? Now we're getting somewhere. Now this is a philosophical quandary for the ages. At what point are the clothes no longer clean when they're on the line? Where's the line on that line?
Starting point is 00:25:49 Well, in Auckland, this is quite commonplace because of the subtropical climate. Yeah. I've hung out clothes to dry before that have become fully dry. I've failed to bring them in before a passing rainstorm, and they've become wet again. And one shower I think to myself those clothes are still clean if anything no they're probably
Starting point is 00:26:12 not cleaner but they're still clean two two lots of rain it's pretty careless as a clothes owner but I'd probably still be okay I think it's when you get into your third rain shower so the clothes have been uh wet from the washing machine then dry from the sun
Starting point is 00:26:31 then wet from the rain then dry from the sun then wet from the rain wait how many we're up to now four that's two okay two from the rain okay and then when they're dry again they're still okay if they get rained on again those guys are going back in the washing machine, my friend. The third rain shower is what makes them dirty for me. The clothes after a shower get them in after an hour. The clothes after two rainstorms, you're still... I mean, even the first one wasn't... Struggling to stick the landing on that
Starting point is 00:27:05 What's your policy? I mean is rain dirty? I will leave my clothes out for an infinite amount of time And bring them in when they are dry to the touch And I will not bother myself with what has happened in betwixt I'll leave them out for multiple days Why are you doing that? Oh laziness
Starting point is 00:27:24 Let's not get carried away Let's not get it twisted I'll leave them out for multiple days. Why are you doing that? Oh, laziness. Let's not get carried away. Let's not get it twisted, yeah. That's the only reason. Yeah. I guess I just don't care enough about my clothes, guy. Sue me, you know? I don't think I can sue you for that.
Starting point is 00:27:44 We formulated an alternative theory of the movie this week based on a single line, something we often want to do, that involves Zac Fron being a terrorist and planting bombs everywhere. And I can't remember where it came... What was the line? It's early on when they're driving. Somerly's dropping Zicole back at his house after the night out on the Rantan.
Starting point is 00:28:06 And he notices her key ring and says, Stanford, it's a pretty good school. And then I said, be ashamed of something happening to it. Yeah. Which then spun into a conversation about Zeis Fron planting bombs all around the place. Yeah. School campuses. He put one at Stanford. He put a bomb in at UC Davis.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Is that the name of the university? Where he could have run track. Yeah. It seemed to me like what was trying to come out of the movie through those moments was that Zuccoli takes issue with higher education. An opinion which eerily mirrors your own, Tim. Ah, sort of. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:51 You're referencing something that no one listening will know about. No, but last night as part of your job as a host of a program on TV, you chaired a discussion around the idea that tertiary education is reaming the young people of New Zealand. Yeah, the way that it's being done at the moment, yeah. And in America, it's also expensive there. So the solution, according to Zeiss-Fran, you know, violently remove them from the picture,
Starting point is 00:29:20 which, can I just say, I'm not pro it. I'll stick my neck out and say that i don't think we should be bombing schools yeah i agree okay cool but zicoli this week he he just he had a real some something in which couldn't he couldn't stop do you know we don't see any of them get detonated you know what struck me about the film this week I just can't believe how quickly they get over the death of Skrill and how little consequence there is to his passing. Now, we've mentioned this before, I think, but the dudes would be on the hook, I would imagine, for manslaughter, at a minimum.
Starting point is 00:29:58 Yeah. Now, the boys are at his funeral. No one seems to have an issue with this, to the point where they're in the front row. No, they're in the second row, but they are putting dirt on the coffin of Squirrel, which seems like they've been accepted into the fray as a serious part of his life, which they were for better and worse.
Starting point is 00:30:21 For better, they have a lot of fun together. They go to parties. They work together. For worse, they have a lot of fun together, they go to parties, they work together. For worse, they killed him by plying him with cheap drugs acquired by Johnny Depp,
Starting point is 00:30:33 the group drug dealer. That is definitely manslaughter. It's not best friend material, I don't think. Friends don't kill best friends. I've always said that.
Starting point is 00:30:49 Yeah. As sure as bears hate honey, friends don't kill friends. How many sort of bits of modern language, you know, colloquialisms and whatnot, and similes and metaphors that we use are derived from the history of bears. And I don't know if there's a culture around all of this information, but bear culture. I mean more than you would think. How many more though?
Starting point is 00:31:17 Could you put a percentage on it? 50? Half of all sayings. Half of all culture. Half of all sayings. Half of all culture. Half of everything. Yeah. Half of everything derives from our knowledge, appreciation, and interpretation of land sharks. We are truly a species that has derived our value and built our societies around our reading of land sharks for example a house
Starting point is 00:31:52 eerily similar shape to a sleeping bear not in winter when it hibernates when do you think we got the idea to cuddle up inside something That looks so eerily similar To a sleeping bear All houses are different shapes And no house specifically looks like a bear Unless you're building a house modeled On the likeness of a sleeping bear Houses look like houses Tim
Starting point is 00:32:18 Let me ask you two questions How many houses have you seen in your life? Hundreds, maybe thousands How many land sharks have you seen? Maybe four to five. Yeah, there you go. Increase your sample size before you come at me with this nonsense. How many bears have you seen?
Starting point is 00:32:37 Seven or eight. Oh, wait. What are pandas? Pandas are bears. Are they, though? You would know. What are the ones that there's they're not but they are oh koalas no way koalas are marsupials yeah but i still i think that's a conspiracy i'm yeah i'm in bed with you on that one koalas are bears australia and stop correcting me
Starting point is 00:33:01 yeah hard out man good on you for speaking truth to power on this important issue. What else to say about this film? One of my first words out loud when the film began was, boy, do I regret bumping us up to 60. I had forgotten that I'd done it. I would like it to be known that I still haven't publicly agreed to this. You don't need to. I agree. We both make decisions for both of us, but individually. would like it to be known that i still haven't publicly agreed to you don't need to i agree
Starting point is 00:33:25 we both make decisions for both of us but individually we individually each of us make decisions for both of us and it has happened and it will continue to this is why we've got such a strong relationship guy a lot of trust is needed for that you're shaking your head i i don't think you saying something and it being a reality is what makes us good friends that's what makes uh the dynamic in this friendship off balance you're being a real johnny deaf right now man buying drugs feeding him to my friend killing him attending his funeral Going back to work for Paige Not going to jail for manslaughter Winding up in an audition in a room full of people
Starting point is 00:34:10 Auditioning for the role of me Shaving off facial hair at a critical time While shooting a film Yeah Whistling Wondering what's happening in that bathroom What did happen in that bathroom? I'll tell you what happened in the bathroom
Starting point is 00:34:23 Zayce Frond let a bomb off in there in there oh just a tiny little one he was testing not like uh not like oh i bloody i bombed that toilet like a small explosive device yeah that being said it was filled with human feces so potato potato yeah that's a funny uh it's a funny not at your own not your own housewarming that seems uh irresponsible but i mean doing it at anyone's housewarming is irresponsible but you know at least in someone else's house you don't have to deal with the mess you imagine that that's that's truly um i mean that's unparalleled because it's something that's not fatal but just you're right up to the line of hurting someone, aren't you? Letting off a bomb full of human poos in someone's house.
Starting point is 00:35:09 It's very disrespectful. It's probably one of the most disrespectful things you could do because you have to do so much stuff in cold blood. It's not like vomiting on a wall because you drank too much or pot plant. There are a lot of steps you need to undertake premeditated to set up the condition where you set off a human feces bomb in someone's house so that's what's happened
Starting point is 00:35:37 yeah obviously they don't get around to addressing that because we're bigger fish to fry yeah and by fish i mean squirrel and by fry i mean die that works okay cool it's just chicken just chicken bigger fish to fry bear or otherwise in terms of origin that's a bear thing obviously Obviously. Who loves fish? Well, land sharks. Bears don't fry anything. They eat it raw.
Starting point is 00:36:09 Not anymore. When did they? And why did they stop? You're familiar with the Greek legend of Prometheus? Stealing the gift of fire from the gods and bringing it back for the humans yeah so the bears have a similar mythology whereby they stole the gift of fire which they applied almost exclusively to frying fish thousands of years ago but it burnt down too many forests so they made a rule no more frying
Starting point is 00:36:45 that's it but the saying persisted bigger fish to fry bigger fish to fry yeah throw me some more idioms let's i'll give you a thumbs up or a thumbs down or if they're land shark related or not uh i i can't think of any other idioms off the top of my head uh a stitch in nine saves time wait reverse that a stitch in time saves nine not bears that one's us what does that even mean it means that if you do something at the correct time if you take your time early you'll save your time self time later correcting for the mistake nine being the amount of time you'll save correct time later correcting for the mistake nine being the amount of time you'll save correct nine what nine units of whatever the one was so if you take one
Starting point is 00:37:31 unit of time now you're saving yourself nine times that amount later because you're not going to make the mistake you have to correct okay that was a good explanation yeah uh and that's not bear related that one's us. Bears can't nudge. What about a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? Bears. Okay. They don't call their hands hands.
Starting point is 00:37:55 They call them paws. Well, they probably don't call them anything, but it's not called a bear hand. No, but that's the whole point. It was started by bears That one started by bears about humans So in the idiom Yeah they're talking about A human with a
Starting point is 00:38:17 They're saying oh we'll tell you when a human's got a bird in their hand Yeah That's worth Double Okay Two birds in the box Okay I think Did you have a shining light, Tim?
Starting point is 00:38:27 You'd want to hope so, wouldn't you? You know? I mean, of all the things I enjoyed about the movie this week, I think I enjoyed Sarah the most. So it would be
Starting point is 00:38:38 probably her moment where she comes on to screw him. She gets battered away from the affections of Zeis Fron and she doesn't get upset. She doesn't get particularly deterred
Starting point is 00:38:52 or slow down at all. She simply moves her sexual focus over to the late great Skrill. Says, I like your t-shirt Skrill. Yeah. You gotta respect that. Someone who knows what they want
Starting point is 00:39:07 and they're not afraid to do whatever it takes to get it. She's like a good bear. Focused. And she'll come back from whatever you throw at her. Such a bear-heavy episode. Landshark, if you want to impress the bear aficionados. I don't really mind what the beer aficionados think of me and i can't imagine singers we've neglected to discuss any of this you know fascinating history
Starting point is 00:39:30 of beers and over three years of recording i can't imagine us having a very dedicated beer aficionado fan base that's fair but if anyone from the fbi or fbc listening. Can I just say thank you for joining us? And also, I don't want to watch this movie anymore, dude. Let me throw that at you. I genuinely, I'm done now. You've revoked the right to have that opinion. I mean, you're right. But fucking hell.
Starting point is 00:39:59 Oh, boy. I really shot my mouth off this time, haven't I? You're right. We've got stuff to look forward to. Director's commentary. Absolutely. Coming up soon. Coming up soon.
Starting point is 00:40:08 Very soon. Maybe the next episode. More guests. I would love that. Thank you for asking. Yeah. There's still work to be done, isn't there? Always.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Forever. And I don't know that it necessarily feels like we are getting anywhere in terms of unearthing the real message in this movie. But we will. Yeah, but we will. And even if not, we're still using it as a vessel to discover uncharted territory to me with regards to things that Tim knows. And if learning all about bears requires Tim to watch the movie We Are Your Friends 48 times before he's triggered into sharing all of this public or secret public information. It's public. You're just an idiot.
Starting point is 00:40:55 Okay. That seems fair and as good a place as any to end this conversation about the film We Are Your Friends. Thank you so much for listening. Don't like and subscribe. Don't review us on iTunes. I like that. Using the old beer psychology.
Starting point is 00:41:21 Very good. Fuck you. Ow! This movie's still fine. There's a colleague, a pastor. One of them dies, that guy's a squirrel. One of them's a hottie, his name is Jay. One of them looks like Johnny Depp, and his name is Johnny Depp. Classic Maximum Joseph.
Starting point is 00:41:39 Agree! Ah! You forget that films are supposed to have a point. Today. You ready? Okay, let's go The hunt for the wildest movie of the summer Everybody run! Ends here
Starting point is 00:41:56 This is your super friendly and not aggressive reminder to buy tickets immediately Borderlands, now playing

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