The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone 115
Episode Date: February 28, 2021This Friendzone features a detailed fusion of the Sex and the City 2 universe and the Grown Ups 2 universe thanks to Sarah, a true multiyear/degree journey with recent Ph.D grad Amber and some nightma...res with Nathan who falls asleep to the poddy and has started dreaming about Tim and Guy. The Sex and the City script stream was a huge success and is now available to all at worstideaofalltime.comJOIN US ON PATREON: (patreon.com/TWIOAT)JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: (facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTime)VISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: (littleempirepodcasts.com)MUSIC CREDIT: Tender Moonlight (facebook.com/TenderMoonlight)ART CREDIT: Tomas Cottle (sick-days.com) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Well it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy. It's the friend zone we're gonna have a good time.
It's the friend zone with Tim and Guy because making friends is the best idea of all time.
Friend zone. Hello and welcome to the friend Zone. Thrust upon guy.
Unrelenting.
Unrelenting.
Hey everyone, it's me, Guy. How are you? I'm good.
I'm good too, man. Thanks for asking.
How are you, Tim?
I'm pretty hot. We're in the studio.
We've just recorded an episode of our fantastic podcast, The Worst Idea of All Time, Season 5, The Sexy Season, featuring Emmanuel.
We did our Sex and the City live table read recently.
Some of the feedback I've observed online is that this season we've been working on
has
horned us up
something chronic
oh yeah that's true
and in a way that is undeniable
sort of infected us
in a way
aye
what do you think about that
agree
disagree
yeah look
here's the thing about
doing a podcast
for seven years
which we're now celebrating
because very recently
we tripped over
our seventh anniversary
anyway we know how you've got to evolve and you've got to evolve slowly for seven years, which we're now celebrating because very recently we tripped over our seventh anniversary.
Anyway, we know how.
You've got to evolve, and you've got to evolve slowly and in a childish way.
He's not wrong.
And that's what we did.
And so we have...
Tim, are you sweating?
Yeah, I'd quite like to take my shoes off.
Why don't you?
Because there's a lot of rigmarole.
I'm wearing...
Oh, you're wearing lace-up hiking boots.
Timberlands. Yeah. It did quite hard to get off
I had a real nightmare when I was
Going around open homes in these shoes
Taking them off and on all the time
Too many lacing
How could you think to wear those to an open home?
I didn't think it through
How many times did you do that?
All in one day or across multiple weekends?
I did it multiple weekends
That is absurd to me.
No good.
You are so smart.
You know so much better than that.
Do you want to hear from someone?
Every time you do it, what would you say?
Would you say anything?
Here I go again.
And what would Zoe say?
You fucking idiot.
Yeah.
I respect that woman.
Amber says, dear good sweet boys, Tim and Guy,
I've been listening to the podcast since season one,
from high school all the way to a PhD
through adolescence into young adulthood.
I hate that.
And throughout all this,
I have not watched any of the films
which you boys have bravely ventured.
This is Tim talking now.
I'm going to take a brief pause.
I fucking love that, bro.
Are you kidding me?
We've been in Amber's life for a long time.
Yeah, but it's like-
That's cool. I guess, but also Amber's life for a long time. Yeah, but it's like... That's cool.
I guess, but also Amber's made something of her life in the time that we've been sitting next to each other.
Yeah, fair enough, if you're going to read it like that.
Well, just take it as like we sacrifice so that she may get a doctorate.
I'm not old enough in my life to knowingly make sacrifices like this.
Amber, I resent you.
I'm going to unpause the email.
Yeah, continue.
That is, until I was physically incapable of stopping the onslaught of grown-ups too.
I recently had a bit of a health scare and I thought I was having a stroke at the ripe old age of 22.
I couldn't feel half my body and was experiencing some aphasia.
Aphasia?
Wait, how do you say that?
A-P-H-A-
Yeah, wouldn't I?
Aphasia?
Aphasia?
So, because I'm American,
I asked my neighbor to drive me to the hospital
where I was quickly admitted.
The good news is I was not in fact having a stroke.
The better news is I was given a shitload of painkillers
plus some nausea medicine
after I got done being violently sick for a hot minute.
But then, just as I was relaxing into a blissful state of no pain and being provided with incredibly expensive water and graham crackers,
the evil struck.
I looked up at the television in my room just as grown-ups do.
It was beginning.
Oh, God.
The dual remote controlling both the TV and the bell that told the nurse that I needed to be walked to the bathroom to pee?
Incapable of changing the channel.
Incapable of even turning the television off.
I couldn't get up to end the psychological torture as I was tethered to my bed via an IV.
I couldn't even ask anyone to please intervene because i was still having a difficult time finding words
besides thank you sorry and fuck while those phases do cover all human experiences they cannot
express the inhuman capitalistic sadism of grown-ups too i ended up watching most of the
film as i drifted in and out of sleep while waiting for a ct scan eventually they released
me from the er good as, but not before that damage was
done. All that to say, when you told us to never watch the film, I took that seriously, and I held
out as long as I could, but one day the devil will come knocking for all of us. I've never been more
appreciative of the pain you boys went through. You are good boys, brave boys, and deeply,
of the pain you boys went through.
You are good boys, brave boys,
and deeply, worryingly masochistic boys.
Thank you for your good service to us all.
Godspeed, you absolute legends.
Amber, feel free to say my name or don't, whatever tickles your fancy.
That was from November, which I feel bad about.
Good luck with everything, Amber.
Okay.
I believe in that. Amber, I appreciate the anecdote anecdote i'm glad to hear that you're well i'm sorry that you had to do that watch that but um she's been through the ringer
with us man at his side i'm still from high school to phd i'm still having trouble with that part of
the letter like a huge amount of trouble with it hi tim, Timbo and Guy Guy, just want to let you know that you're absolute legends.
So here's a guy who knows what to do.
He's not telling me that he's achieved a lot.
Dude, that was your reading though.
You don't put that on Amber.
I know, I know, I know.
And Amber knows too.
I mean, she fucking well should.
She's got a PhD.
Indeed.
Piece of shit.
I managed to see you two at the last LA Live show for season four and was blown away.
Not only was it a great show, but you gave me a free sign poster for pre-ordering my tickets.
Then, as I took the poster, a guy aggressively yelled at me that I was a true goddamn fan.
We just go off the deep end sometimes, eh?
Absolutely.
Look at those live reviews.
You guys have given me hours of entertainment.
And most importantly, the friendly attitude you put out makes me feel like I have friends in my pocket whenever I'm down.
Love the new season.
Keep up that great work, you good, good boys.
Genuinely love you guys.
If you're ever in San Diego, drinks and smokes on me.
Hell yeah, brother.
Hell yeah, brother.
I'm going to write that. I'm going to put it in quotation marks,
and I'm going to credit the quote to Tim Batt.
Tim Batt, me.
Tim Batt.
Fuck yeah, man.
I have been mentioning to Guy recently, my comedy wife,
and my wife-wife, Zoe, how much I miss America.
I feel for you guys.
I love you guys.
And I miss you.
And I miss your country.
And I miss traveling there.
And some of the most fun experiences of my entire life have been doing live shows for this podcast and your country.
And I bemoan the fact that we can't at the moment.
in your country.
And I bemoan the fact that we can't at the moment.
Yeah, there's so much more than the Atlantic Ocean between us right now.
Indeed.
Pacific.
Pacificly, there's the Pacific Ocean.
So there's two oceans.
And then also a global pandemic.
Why does someone obtaining a free poster at our hand make them a true goddamn fan guy?
Because they pre-ordered the tickets.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, true.
This seems pretty standard, eh?
Yeah.
Our bar is low.
Depends how you feel.
Can I talk about that stream for just one second?
The live stream that we did.
Yeah.
I know we weren't just talking about it then, but I just want to mention it.
Yeah.
Fuck a lot of people came, and that rules, because I was so scared that no one would come.
Yeah.
Hundreds of people came.
It's true.
And I remember saying to you, Tim, we got told what our pre-sales were like a week before the event, and they were like pretty good.
I thought.
They were fine.
It was something like 70 tickets. And I said to Tim, hey, Tim, we pre-sold 70 tickets. were like pretty good i thought they were fine and it was something like 70 tickets
and i said to tim hey tim we pre-sold 70 tickets that's pretty good and you're like yeah but like
it's online so it could be a million a million exactly and i said yes tim but when we do a show
in chicago and you need to air all our dirty laundry on well i know but i just thought it was
such a funny framework to be like of course an infinite number of people could come yeah and you did an infinite
number of people did come yeah it's true actually tim was right on this one we did eventually sell
the in a million tickets that we desired but i thank you so much to everyone who came it was a
lot of fun to put together and a lot a lot of of fun to perform. And the knowledge that people wanted that to happen
was a huge motivating force.
So it's appreciated.
Shout out to Littlefield as well.
It's online.
Littlefield Theatre in Brooklyn.
All theatres around the whole world, really,
at the moment are struggling.
So help them out if you can.
Put on a show, go to a show.
Do one of those things.
Digitally.
Yeah, yeah, I guess so
Emmanuel, related, somewhat urgent
This was sent on the 18th of November
2020
Gentlemen, I've noticed this season
Has been bereft of guests
What gives? Are you embarrassed to share your latest obsession
With polite society? Never fear
There's no time like the present to make new friends With no one recording capabilities at their disposal i propose you reach out to dan
mccoy of the flop house podcast he's an unabashed aficionado of the emmanuel franchise as well
as tito brasses of uh uvra uvra i know you have mutual friends in the mcelroy brothers and i'm
sure any of them could make the necessary introductions.
This could be a fun crossover.
If I may, shout out to my friend Elizabeth,
who clued me up in what you're all up to.
Say my name.
It is Marcus.
I think that sounds like a great idea.
The Flophouse are like the OG bad movie podcast.
What does Flophouse mean?
Or is it just the name of their podcast?
It does mean
It's either pancakes or drugs
And I don't know which
Well I think it's a good idea
If there's
You know
Someone with a known
Background with the Emmanuel franchise
I would love to get in
Any version of an expert
To help hold our hand
Through the drudgery
That is
Softcore pornography A Flophouse Or Doss House an expert to help hold our hand through the the drudgery that is soft core pornography a flop house
or dos house is considered a derogatory term for a place that offers very low
cost lodging providing space to sleep and minimal amenities i see um like a bad motel I guess it's like a bad motel Big
Fan guys
We got guests
Subsequent to that email
I hasten to add
Yeah
We're not embarrassed
I love the semi-urgent nature of the email
Yeah
Glad I now know the rationale
Behind the name of Rob Schneider's comedy special
We're gonna do this again?
Do what? We're gonna fucking open this again? Do what?
We're going to fucking open this can of worms again?
What worms?
Read on.
The special is called...
No, it doesn't say that.
These casts are really making the smoggy Bangladesh nights fly by.
We'll try to catch some live shows next time I'm in your neck of the woods.
Last time I tried to see Guy's
Melbourne Comedy Festival show
my girlfriend at the time vomited on the front of us
on the front
front of the stage?
no, my girlfriend at the time vomited on the front
in front of us and I didn't even get to see
the opening joke, holy shit
looking back, I'm sure
we probably were the opening joke, you're welcome
cheers guys do you remember that? Shit. Looking back, I'm sure we probably were the opening joke. You're welcome.
Cheers, guys.
Do you remember that?
Matt.
No, I mean, before the show started, I wouldn't have seen it.
But it sounds like maybe this guy's partner was sick on herself and another punter, and they vacated the premises before the show began.
This rings a vague bell.
There were two years in a row when I did a show in Melbourne.
One was a split ball with Rose, and one was my first solo show
when someone fainted or had a fit during the show.
Rose Matafayo.
So you might be remembering that.
Twice, the room had to be evacuated because someone was having a medical emergency.
Huh.
Both times, I was only going, okay.
Yeah, I hate to hear it.
Wouldn't you be more gutted if you were crushing it though
in the universe intervened on you being no then it'll be like wow so funny this happened but
instead it was like wow so not funny and then an event relieved for this i don't know i hope your
um girlfriend's feeling better my friend girlfriend at the time Oh I hope your ex-girlfriend's still healthy
Oh
Twirewet drinking game suggestion
From Kev
His name's Kev
And I've called him Kev
Hi Tim and Guy
I wanted to share a game
I used to play with my brother
And our buddy
Which I thought
You two would appreciate
Because it involves
A bit of self-loathing
Total commitment to playing the game
Even when you don't want to
Humor
And a similar name to the podcast
We call it The worst shot in the bar game as their name suggests we try to find the worst
liquor to take a shot of to play you ask the bartender to give you a shot of the worst liquor
they have in the place keeping in mind that the shot has to be a single liqueur and not a mixture
basically you ask the bartender to give you the shot of the liquor that is so terrible he or she is not sure
why the bar stocks it something so disgusting you'd have to hate yourself to drink the key is
that it's totally up to the bartender to pick the shot on their own without your input a lazy
bartender will pick something like well gin but a good bartender will get creative for us the creative. For us, the reigning and undisputed champion is... Do you want to take a guess?
Aftershock.
That's not one liquor.
Aftershock is one liquor.
Is it?
It's one drink. It's a red drink. It comes in a bottle. It's cinnamon flavoured. Oh, my bad.
Sorry. Do you know what I was thinking of? A concrete
mixer. Ah. Sorry.
False accusation to Guy.
No, what Kevin's actually suggested is campari which both
goes down terribly and has a god-awful aftertaste as you can imagine no one wins except maybe the
bartender and anyone witnessing our stupidity over the years we've never really gotten anyone
else to play the game with us maybe they have to have a level of self maybe they have a level of
self-respect i'm unfamiliar with but we have an unwavering commitment to the bit
that we'd play upon one of us suggesting it,
even as we curse him.
So I think it's like someone throws it up, they have to do it.
Alas, I am now sober after giving up all substances
because of an unrelated stimulant problem
that arose from ADD medication in school.
I don't really miss drinking
at all except for playing this game i miss the stupid camaraderie that goes along with the game
they'll both still play it even when i'm the one who suggests it but it's not the same when i'm not
going through the same torture with them anyway i thought you two might like to play as we've never
really had any success getting anyone else to play it would be nice to spread the game
if you do, please share the shittiest liquor
you come across, we'd love to know
feel free to say my name, Kevin
thank you Kevin, that's quite a sweet game
it's simple
the functionality works, it makes sense
congratulations on your sobriety
very happy to hear
I think, you know
God willing, if you and i find ourselves
in a situation where we can afford the uh financial and time luxury of getting absolutely
shit canned on some horrible spirit of the barman's choosing yeah i feel like you only have
to do it once though right yeah um i'm gonna rename it kevin's Game though when we play it Okay I like it
In honour of Kevin
I guess that
I drew a direct line between your retitling of the game and the author of the email
Just wanted to check you're on board
I am good at putting things together
Furniture
Puzzles
Connections between names and emails
Very good.
Hello, Timothy and Guy.
Hello, emailer.
I mean, Facebook messenger.
Today, which was the 30th of January,
I was listening to the final episode of the recent Overlooked and Undercooked miniseries
when I decided to look up Elle King since I couldn't put a face to her name
and I refused to watch the stand-up special myself.
Thank you for your sacrifice.
I was confused when I saw underneath there in the Google search results,
in the people also search for results, a picture of Rob Schneider.
I thought, surely there must be a mistake since I have no idea who that man is.
But I know for a fact that's not Rob Schneider.
What?
I assumed the search algorithm must have attached a picture of someone else with the same name
until I clicked on his name and was met with a bare view of images and information about the man.
I was then hit with the realization that up until this moment,
I had been confusing Rob Schneider with Rob Lowe.
Wowee.
No, they're different.
I've been a listener of the pod for years,
but admittedly have never seen most
of the films or media you consume for the benefit of your audience all this time whenever you
mention rob schneider including throughout the duration of your miniseries documenting your watch
of real rob i'd been picturing rob lowe in every scene i think my perception of lowe is probably
permanently tainted from this and i don't even know if i'll ever be able to divorce all the
trivia i now know about schneider from my apparently very limited knowledge of mr lowe anyway love the pod and i love you brave
boys for putting your sanity on the line so that i don't have to actually consume any of the media
that you so selflessly expose yourselves to for my sake this gets mentioned on a friend's own feel
free to say my name emmett p.s i missed you when you were in Chicago on your last tour, but here's hoping you return once it's safe to do so.
I would love to.
Man, what a cross to bear.
Incredible.
Amalgamating Rob's Lowe and Schneider into one person.
These are very, very different Robs, although are they politically aligned?
No, I think Rob Lowe's pretty, pretty like mainline Democrat, isn't he? Although maybe he's got some confusing... I feel like he's dodgy. Yeah, I think Rob Lowe's pretty mainline Democrat, isn't he?
Although maybe he's got some confusing...
I feel like he's dodgy.
Yeah, I don't know.
Dodgy.
Anyone who doesn't align with me is dodgy.
Absolutely.
Well, I mean, he's certainly got some skeletons in his personal closet.
This guy?
Rob Lowe.
Yeah, man.
What's his deal?
I think when he was a much younger man,
he had some sex scandals with much younger women.
Women slash girls.
With drugs.
Rob Lowe was a Democrat until 2006,
and now he's a registered independent.
Oh, yeah, okay, an independent okay an independent Alright whatevs man
At any rate that's very funny to me
And now I'm trying to picture Rob Lowe delivering Schneider's special
Someone should do one of those
AI like face swipes
Yeah yeah
That'd be good
A deep fake of a whole comedy special
Sarah writes
Hi hello my name is Sarahah and i use she her pronouns
and i'm 23 i'm a 23 year old techie from new jersey one of the states near connecticut i am
now ride or die with the worst idea of all time really loving the podcast and i wrote a plot
sketch for a possible grown-ups 2 and sex and the City crossover. But first, some context. Before the 2020 pandemic,
I started listening to Death Blat
because I listened to a bunch of other McElroy podcasts.
Tio...
How do I say that?
Twiowap.
Twiowap.
Yeah, boy.
Was always on my backlog,
but it never ended up finding me on a particularly...
But it ended up finding me
on a particularly pivotal november to cope i
spent most of election week listening to the iconic first season of your lovely podcast while
minecrafting extensively as i'm writing this as i'm writing i'm on season two and uh this happened
literally because in season two episode one one of you suggested a crossover sequel to Grown Ups 2 and Sex and the City 2.
I have not watched either movie or the original Sex and the City, though I did listen to the worst scripted idea of all time.
My brain loves filling in lore where there isn't enough fiction, so I took this on myself.
so I took this on myself.
I'm not caught up on the podcast yet so I have no idea whether you've done this
or how many other similar movie pictures you've received
but I hope this shines some light through the darkness
as long as Adam Sandler does not read this.
And also, if you don't read this,
that's totally understandable.
The takeaway is more that I appreciate the hard work
you and Guy do with these movie podcasts.
And that is from Sarah.
There's an attachment, baby.
Okay, yeah.
Give me a panic attack over here.
Do you want me to have a little look-see inside?
Oh, yeah.
I like this.
How big?
It's been...
I reckon you could actually read it.
And maybe, like, almost that could be the friend zone.
What do you think about that?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Cool, man.
Would love to.
I've got one more.
Yeah, cool.
Here we go.
So this is written by Sarah.
Okay, thank you, Sarah.
And everyone, please enjoy this fusing
of the Grown Ups 2 and Sex and City 2 universes.
It's one year after the events of Grown Ups 2,
and Lenny is delighted to welcome another child to his hostage situation
which has been scratched out and replaced with the word family.
But the connective tissue is Selma.
How?
I embellished on her background as established from what we know of Grown Ups.
She's a fashion designer that made it big,
but stepped back from the scene to live with Lenny
in Stanton, where she owns a boutique.
But what was her impact as a fashion designer?
I'm saying that five years ago,
she made fashion that spurned a larger trend in the industry.
Maybe it's holographic prints.
Maybe it's drawstring sleeves.
No, I don't think that's a thing either.
Just assume it's like a trend that is in style that year
before it vanishes, but it is big and memorable yet this trend has been resurrected by famous
designer selma left a mark on this is where those four ladies come in you know the ones
carrie miranda samantha and schlorp which has been screwed out and replaced with charlotte
are fashion reporters they're keyed in on everything. So when they notice this trend has reborn,
they wonder where she is now.
Where she is now after Trent's heyday.
Working with famous designer,
they track her down for the story of a lifetime
or of a September issue.
Because this famous designer is a huge fan of Selma's,
they also offer her to fly her and a large posse to Las Vegas
for front row seats at the tribute show,
which I thought would happen at Caesar's Palace for some reason.
So who does Selma invite?
Because Lenny was surprisingly supportive of his wife during the pregnancy,
Selma decides to be nice to him by telling him he can invite his friends and their families too.
In reality, he showed her the least modicum of decency a man can show a woman without her leaving him,
but Selma really read into it.
When Selma tells Lenny this, he smiles and thinks back on this,
but there's a quick flashback montage of every feasible
way he fucked up the last year. Anyway,
he accepts though, and when he tells the guys
there's a bit where Kurt calls him a
wife guy, and Lenny gets the idea
in his head that now Selma seems like the more successful
of the two, and he has to one-up her
to still successfully perform hegemonic
masculinity in the world Sandler has created.
This is an arc seat. We'll come
back to that.
The lads resolve to pursue what I'm calling boy time in Las Vegas.
We'll see how that goes.
So a bunch of things happen in Vegas.
Selma and the other wives actually get along very well
with Carrie Miranda, Samantha, Charlotte, and the designer.
Meanwhile, maybe Mr. Big also tries to one-up Lenny,
advancing that arc a bit however
this is not because of anything lenny says to support his wife but because of the way he
expresses his masculinity there's a subplot where higgins doesn't have a good suit for vegas so he
has to seek help he eventually finds a fashion designer who benevolently gives him a suit in a
fun unconventional color but it is a whole thing that does also interface uh that does also interface
with the film's examination of expressing masculinity somehow not plot relevant but this started out
as a fun idea about damn expressing masculinity and how to do it is emerging as a theme here
wild the two main obstacles standing in the way of boy time are one the expectation that everyone
who arrives at this multi-day fashion show what should happen for hours and participate in this
avant-garde society to keep up appearances and two that the dads will have to step in to look
after the kids since all the woman and the designer are all in a circle around uh all out
in a circle around selma worshiping her like the queen she is obstacle one during the first part
of the fashion this is addressing obstacle one which is the expectation
that everyone who arrives at the fashion show watch it happen for hours and participate uh during the
first part of the fashion show they sit through the guys quietly whisper to their wives about the
fashion show sometimes it's good sometimes it's bad sometimes it's almost like the ballet scene
kevin james burps nuts during a quiet bit of that show this is this is plot relevant we will revisit
that there's also a good part for the guys
to all be on their phones during the show,
texting each other until a wife notices.
This is one of those scenes grown-ups
claims is a joke but isn't,
and yet it is still essential
to the grown-ups' experience as shittiness.
Inevitably, the boys will find a way
to make boy time happen,
and it will seem like they're at the fashion show
when they aren't.
It would be fun to have a boy time montage
set to Fatboy Slim's Weapon of Choice.
Because why not?
However, this is cut short by a major plot event.
Here it is.
Kevin burps nutting in a way that breaks the slot machine in front of him
at a different casino that is not Caesar's via a Rube Goldberg sequence.
If that makes sense.
Jesus Christ, not really.
Shady mobsters affiliated with the casino subsequently chase him and his boys
out of the casino
and it's so violent that it makes news.
Selma fucking yells at Lenny.
Why the frick did he have to have boy time?
You were supposed to be supporting me.
You didn't even do that much for me last year.
What the frick, Lenny?
Lenny can be a bitch to his wife,
but logically what could come next
is Lenny being slightly more present.
Maybe a, yeah, turns out I am a wife guy
line in Act 3 of this somewhere.
Obstacle 2.
Jesus, this is really detailed.
While boy time ensues, grown-ups, the next generation,
and maybe some of the sex in the city kids are suddenly unsupervised by all parents.
So they go on some sort of wild Vegas adventure.
Great, great, great.
I don't know exactly what, but the burst snart on the news just kills the energy
and they eventually return home before the parents notice.
This is what makes it a four-tent movie, four tent movie four tentpole film everybody's got someone to root for
brayden higgins learned some street magic from a pen and teller show and gets uh one of the
and gets uh one of the city daughters with a knife variation of it it's cool
so how does all this come together after boy time one failed a day a day passes. Maybe some Sex and the City plot things happen.
Unbeknownst to all these families, shady mobsters watch them from the shadows
working for an on-screen man named Carlo and an off-screen one named Silver Shiv
who runs the casino.
Lenny eventually proposes something a bit less rash.
The five guys' burgers and fries will go out for some burgers and fries and beers.
Mayhaps.
A second boy time to some.
Act three is imminent. Meanwhile, all the children children actually at a pop concert weekend retreat of some sort with some interns for the
designer everyone's okay with this the burgers are laced with chloroform and the men awake in a
parking garage with more of these shady mobsters where we finally meet silver shiv for the first
time several things revealed such as silver shiv can burp snart too because he's kevin's long lost
cousin oh my god he had a violent falling out with his family
when they kept looking for him
so it's up to him to make sure
he's the only one who can burp snot in Las Vegas
Silver Shiv has captured the kids
Silver Shiv will only release them
if they do a very challenging heist
of the centerpiece of Designer's Show
which is encrusted with more Swarovski crystals
than the human mind can comprehend
Also it's kind of silver and pointy.
Silver Shiv is also
friends with the
Las Vegas Police Department
including Shaq and Dante
somehow because
ACAB.
I don't exactly know
how...
All cops are bros.
That's right.
I don't exactly know
how I see this movie ending
but here's what I have so far.
The rest of the movie
happens that night.
Brayden Higgins
and his new girlfriend
are recruited to help the men
and they use their street magic skills to do a fake-out
where they pretend to steal the things Silver Shiv needs.
Somehow Lenny actually finds a way to be hyper-present
and there for his wife while not losing his cool with the guys.
Okay, so he almost loses the guys,
but once they see how much he loves his wife in this timeline,
they decide he's actually not that bad.
Mr. Big's involved somehow?
Maybe he has to cover for Lenny? I don't know.
Something happens to Silver Shiv,
so Silver Shiv is no danger to the designer the grown-ups or the sex in the city
people maybe brayden does a knife trick that accidentally kills him i don't know and that's
where it got up to i really like that i want brady to survive but i want him killed at his own hand
because of pen and tal i feel like this is if we think of it as sort of a marvel world building
exercise i feel like brady's like not unlike his storyline in Sex and the City 2,
you can just see it sort of noodling away in the background,
and you're like, I wonder what's going on with this kid,
but they never actually address it in any serious way.
Well, until they do, you know what I mean?
But that's the next film, right?
It'll be like Scarlet Witch.
It'll be like, I don't know what this Wanda person's really doing.
And then it's like, blam, she's in charge of the whole thing.
Is that a spoiler?
Probably.
I really liked that.
I liked the details it had, and I like the details it didn't have.
I think that's a cool way to write a script.
Sarah, you've done great work.
I really appreciate that.
You had to sit down and fucking hammer that through.
Shit, yeah.
You did a lot of work.
The Vegas thing, because what ticks me off about Paul Blart Mall Cop
is that it's set in Vegas.
But barely.
But it didn't have to be.
And if something's set in Vegas, the movie should be like Ocean's Eleven.
But that one wasn't.
But this one that you've written kind of is.
It's very much a Las vegas film i'm into it
um as promised i'll read one more thing fabulous and then we'll get out of here
dearest mr timness and the gyron giant i dreamed of you we were attending a wedding together not
sure who's perhaps carrying big who can say either way it was the night before the wedding and for
some reason the three of us plus several other people were all going to be sleeping in the same
room it looked like a living room on various couches we drank beers and played
video games until around two or three in the morning at which point i elected to try and go
to sleep however all right youtube party animals refused to do so and continued sounds like us to
loudly enjoy yourselves until dawn apparently without needing sleep your noise also kept me
from sleeping and i was understandably
pretty pissed how funny is it to be in a dream annoyed and not being able to sleep within the
dream it is very funny your noise also kept me from sleeping and i was pretty pissed my irritation
led me to yell at some children immediately before the wedding and their parents sued me i think
not sure it gets pretty blurry around there i I think listening to podcasts, I fall asleep.
It's affecting my psyche.
Yep.
I hope you're spending my monthly two bucks on something worthwhile.
If you read this on the friend zone, say my goddamn name.
And what do you guess the author's name is?
The author's name is Simone.
As in Nina Simone.
You fucking...
Nailed it?
Missed it.
It's Nathan.
Okay, Nathan for me.
Here's the thing, Nathan.
You need to stop listening to the podcast
because your brain is sending you a direct message
that you need to sleep and we're intervening in that.
This isn't a very coded dream.
This isn't a very complicated subplot.
I think you just
need to get some shut eye so enjoy the boys during your waking hours get some rest hit the showers
do you go to sleep listen to podcasts no do you go to sleep listen to anything um i used to i like
from the youngest age i would listen to music to fall asleep always to the point where like uh when i started sharing a bed with a
partner i would have to put headphones in but then it just got too impractical because i've never
found the perfect like um wireless earbud that i could wear it's difficult to get all tangled up
in the wired ones it's tricky difficult to find comfort i hear that i remember when i was what
about you guy are you a music guy when you fall asleep?
Yeah, but Chelsea's not.
Chelsea says she can't fall asleep to music
because she listens to the music too hard.
I don't even know what that means.
She's tuning into it.
Yeah, yeah.
I feel like knowing some things about Chelsea's background,
I can kind of maybe appreciate why
that she'd have a particular ear for it
it's a very funny thing to self-proclaim
that you
can't listen to music
I go too hard in the paint when I'm chilling out listening to songs
absolutely
I like to fall asleep to audio
accompaniment
I have spent enough time in my life not doing it
that I can unverse.
But recently, I love falling asleep listening to,
which is what I used to do as a child.
I used to listen to cassettes, Michael Rosen poems,
or there's a short story set on the English seaside called The Man,
and I'd fall asleep listening to it on cassette every night.
That's cute.
And there was like a rhythm to that that I found very calming.
And now I've got that with Alan Partridge's podcast from the Oath House.
It's so good.
I go to bed and just listen to Alan Partridge just fucking nattering away.
But don't you like crack up?
Yeah, but I mean, what a feeling.
I'm going to sleep smiling.
Yeah, that's nice, actually.
That's really good.
And also I feel like i
remember once for a um we had this like kids fisher and price tape cassette with a microphone
and you could actually record in the microphone onto a blank tape cassette and i remember once
i must have been like fisher and price made a third or fourth form yeah but i didn't i mean i
didn't know how calm i didn't never never we never had like an adult version of this tape recorder where it had a microphone you could record into.
And I used it when I had to study for a biology exam.
I recorded all of the biology information I had onto a cassette and then would fall asleep listening to myself reciting biology information.
Dictaphone's a dictaphone, doesn't matter who makes it.
And I got 92%.
Fuck yes, brother.
The highest ever score I got in a science test.
That's insane.
That's so high.
That's like an A-plus territory.
Yeah.
God damn.
What happened to you, man?
I literally don't know how anything works.
I don't know how anything works.
I'm at the mercy of experts.
We all are, bro.
If something goes wrong, I have to go to an expert and say,
hey, this has happened.
Can you fix it?
And they go, yes.
And it costs whatever number I choose because you're a fucking idiot and i can tell sign
of the times and while guy starts really unraveling on the mic i think we should probably land the
plane on this one thank you so much to everybody who joined us on the live stream if you didn't
that's okay too because we're putting it out for free and uh you can see it at worst idea of all time.com
um i love you i don't know how guy feels about you you're right and we'll catch you in the next
exciting episode of the worst idea of all time or catch you on one of our ancillary products like
kill your near that's at patreon.com slash twiot if you're in auckland we might even see you on the street. That's just how it is.
Well, it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy.
It's the friend zone.
We're going to have a good time.
It's the friend zone with Tim and Guy.
Because making friends is the best idea of all time.
Friend Zone.