The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone 119

Episode Date: April 15, 2021

Alice (of the Treasure of the Four Crowns fame) forces Tim and Guy to consider whether they'd rather work through the worst five of Adam Sandler or Eddie Murphy's back catalogue. Willem sets up an It's Always Sexy in Philadelphia crossover spectacular with Mr Big, Mrs Kelly and Frank. What happens next? And how horny is it? A message from Bremen, Ohio sparks a stroll down memory lane, as the boys remember life when you could... travel?TWIOAT Live show in Auckland: qtheatre.co.nz/shows/worst-idea-all-time-best-host-all-timeGuy's NZ Comedy Fest show: comedyfestival.co.nz/find-a-show/guy-montgomery/Tim's NZ Comedy Fest show: comedyfestival.co.nz/find-a-show/classy-warfare/JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: (facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTime)VISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: (littleempirepodcasts.com)MUSIC CREDIT: Tender Moonlight (facebook.com/TenderMoonlight)ART CREDIT: Tomas Cottle (sick-days.com) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Friend Zone, in the Friend Zone, you're always home, in the Friend Zone, you're not alone, anytime, with Tim and Guy. Hello everybody, it's Friend Zone time. That's nice. Tim, right before you pushed the record button, you went like this. Deep breath in, deep breath out. The breath out wasn't deep. It was sort of troubled. It was deep.

Is it a good energy? I think so. Do you have good energy? Right now? Yeah. Yeah, man. I've got caffeine seething? That's not the right word. What is it? What do you have good energy right now yeah yeah man i'm i'm my i've got caffeine seething that's not the right word what is it what do you say coursing through my veins yeah coursing and possibly seething seething through my vein to seethe is to be furious um i'm steaming mad at coffee steaming mad at dirt whose slogan is slogan is that? It's the rug doctor. The only doctor that has neither a medical qualification nor a PhD.

It's just a self-appointed title for that guy. Dr. Phil's one's real, man, and you know that. Although his registration has lapsed. I see. I think it's a bit dubious that he calls himself a doctor. Did you know that? I want you to stop looking into my credentials he is a a medical doctor so he uses doctor but he's like no longer registered oh no wait he must be a psychologist right i want you to get excited

about your life or you know whatever he says um sounds about right are you are you good are you happy who cares man you're working okay that's a no you're working Are you happy? Who cares, man? We're talking about Dr. Phil. Okay, that's a no. You're working hard. You're working yourself to the bone, true or false. Or hardly working. Are you hardly working? No, no, I'm working pretty hard. Yeah.

Yeah. Cool, man. What about you? I'm working pretty hard. What are we working on, guy? What are we doing, Guy? You're editing a podcast for a third party. Yeah, Audible.

Constantly. Yeah. And in between that, you have other projects that you turn to. This is what I understand you're doing. As respite from the mountain of work you have in front of you, you sort of deviate to other smaller mountains. We don't need to bring this up on the screen. It's going to stress people out.

This is supposed to be a respite. An oasis in a desert of stressful times. They say a problem shared is a problem halved. No. Not for the person who just received a problem out of the fucking blue. This is exactly it That is a problem multiplied Especially with this because this is not like a conversation

This is a broadcast So it's just one person amplifying the problem It's a conversation that's being broadcast It's true, it's true But one of the things you're working on, Tim, is a comedy show A stand-up comedy show We fucking love a bit of that, don't we, Guy? Well, it is literally my favorite thing to do.

It's so good. We've been doing, have you missed a year ever since you started? No, that wasn't you. That was the world intervening. No, I've not. 2014, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19. So that's six on the trot. 2020 didn't happen.

This is number seven for me personally. I think you've been going longer. I think I have. I think I've done maybe even two more. One was I was part of a triple. Who were you with? Jamie Adam and Stephen Boyce. Hey.

Good guys. Last man standing Tim Bette That's not true They're still around Alive? Yeah Stephen Boyce I think

Is based in the UK now Although I'm not a hundo What he's up to I see Jamie Jamie's back in Auckland Oh really? Yeah Doing comedy?

Not when I run into him But he might be doing stand up I'm not sure I don't think so though When you run into him But he might be doing stand-up I'm not sure I don't think so though When you run into him He's just a guy He's a guy Yeah

A man You know? Yeah yeah I've fucking met him before I get it The comedy festival Is going to be good though I've been working full time

On um Here we go Dismantling the patriarchy Yes brother No sorry How have you been doing that? Other people have been doing that. I walk behind them furiously reassembling it.

Oh, you're putting it back together. Yeah. Someone needs to, don't they? Everyone keeps trying to pull it apart. And I'm like, can you please go slower? Because I can't see how these two pieces used to fit together. Everyone's so focused on dismantling the patriarchy, they're not thinking about Guy Montgomery,

a male whose name literally is a synonym for man yeah who is desperately trying to harken back to the historical norms gotta keep this thing on the rails motherfuckers yeah man um and on that sort of disgusting note i've got a piece of correspondence here. Hey, by the way, before we dive into that, you know, because since we're here, our tickets are on sale now and you should buy them.

If you're in New Zealand. Absolutely. Statistically, you're not. But if you are, or you know someone who is, bloody send them our way. There's ticket links in the episode notes. And we're doing Worst Idea Live.

The best host of all time. We've actually been putting a lot of planning into that recently. Do you consider what we've been doing a lot of planning? We've had two meetings. Yeah, in the last two days. That's true. And if we execute the vision, even if we don't, it's going to be a fucking spectacle.

It's going to be awesome. And we're doing everything we can to make sure it streams internationally as well so you can you can go anywhere you are never circumnavigating the bureaucrats and the pencil pushes the fucking red tape yeah get it out of here okay so this has been received on our twitter page at twiwet pod uh and it's from alice go ask alice hello tim the tool man taylor And it's from Alice. Go ask Alice. Hello, Tim the Toolman Taylor. And Guy Montgomery Burns. Excellent.

I watched a video, a Twitter cut down video recently of Ted Cruz doing Simpsons impressions. Fuck, it was dire. A question has arisen elsewhere on the internet And I've stolen it To present to you two frosty fellas Would you rather Marathon Adam Sandler's Five worst rated films in a row

Or Eddie Murphy's Sandler's list would be The Ridiculous Six Jack and Jill Grown Ups 2 Bulletproof And The Do-Over I've never heard of Bulletproof.

Neither. That's the first time I've ever heard of it. Whilst Eddie Murphy's career lowlights are A Thousand Words, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Norbit, Beverly Hills Cop 3, and Vampire in Brooklyn. I figure the question is really, do you go through some trash where you know what's coming and brace yourselves for the remainders with Adam, or a potential four to five all-new servings with Eddie?

Many of our age demographic may well have already seen Beverly Hills Cop 3. I, for one, have not actually. Have you? I haven't either. Didn't know they made a third one. Eddie Murphy is definitely, I would pick that. Yeah, I've got more to say before you do that. Well, that's fine. I've already made my decision. Obviously, I don't suggest you physically do this

unless it's for a charitable cause or some other worthy reason. Watching five great movies in a row would be an extreme endeavor, and this might be too much for you to handle. Stay well, stay healthy, and stay happy. Alice, also, say my name, and The Treasure of the Four Crowns was not a childhood favorite, thankfully. Oh, is it that Alice? Yes, it is Alice, who recommended,

or who we essentially watched The Treasure of the Four Crowns. As payment. Yeah, as payment for assisting us with this season of the podcast. I would also take Eddie Murphy's. I feel like I know half the Sandler oeuvre. Let's get to a new adventure. Yeah. It'll be like a mini series.

The Adventures of Pluto and Ash, I remember, I feel like I've seen peripherally the scale of that disaster. Yes, same. I know what you mean. It was derided pretty universally from what I hear. I don't knowally the scale of that disaster. Yes, same. I know what you mean. It was derided pretty universally from what I hear. I don't know why. It'll be fun. That one does look like a fun, bad movie, you know,

because it's set in space and whatnot. Yeah, here it is. After a successful nightclub is blown to flaming bits, Pluto and his band travel across the moon looking for clues to find out that the destruction of his club may have been his own fault. That's high concept, baby. Yeah, that's crazy. Intergalactic Chihuahua smuggler Pluto Nash is only...

No, this is... It looks bad. It sounds great. But thank you for the question, Alice. If we had the time, Alice, we'd do it. And the answer is Eddie Murphy. We're barely staying on top of the podcast at the moment. Hit me with your rhythm chips.

Hit me. Hit me. Aiden. Dearest Tim and Guy, in the before times, I was studying biology at LMU in Los Angeles. I don't know what that stands for. I do. Go.

Lovely medical university. Nice. I have since had to move back home to Phoenix, Arizona. As a junior, the thing I missed most about my college experience was smoking with some friends and talking for hours. Well, the emergency episode of

Death Blast prompted me to go back and finally listen to the worst idea of all time. I'm happy to say that you boys filled that missing part of my life wonderfully. Going out onto the patio to hang out with my podcast friends became a hugely comforting

part of my routine. Sitting outside at 4am smoking a bowl while listening to the latest theories about Steve Buscemi or Brady the Rat King always brought me back to my friend's apartment in LA. I can't thank you enough for all that. 4am because I became nocturnal In order to avoid the 45

Daytime heat That's interesting because that looks like it's a centigrade Temperature quote No no very accommodating to send us Love the current season And love y'all Aiden, Burnett, yes you can say my name Aiden

That's really sweet I'm so happy to fill that gap And sorry that it sounds like Aiden Burnett. Yes, you can say my name. Aiden. That's really sweet. I'm so happy to fill that gap. And sorry that it sounds like it was kind of out of your hands, not your decision, the move. But I hope that it's gone well for you in Phoenix, Arizona. A beautiful place. I assume.

Phoenix, Arizona. Got a cool name. I understand it's very hot. I listened to a podcast called My Year with Mensa by a woman named Jamie Loftus and she went to a Mensa convention that was in Phoenix, Arizona. Is it on the level?

No, it's not cool. Is it not on the level? It's super not cool. Oh, really? It almost... Eugenics-y? Sort of. It's almost like it's almost like it's very alt-right and mask

and kind of in Sally and it's sort of almost like above ground QAnon wow that bad yeah it's a great podcast and well worth a listen. But anyway, she really paints a picture of just how fucking hot Phoenix, Arizona gets. So shout out to that nocturnal lifestyle.

I've got correspondence here that says, You are not caught up. Obviously, at one point I said I'm caught up. You don't know that I love you both. I can have more fun with your names, Mr. Bat-a-tat-tat and Mr. Montgomery. See, thank you again you are both fantastic and that came um on the heels of a message i obviously hadn't read out which read mr bat and mr montgomery i love you both thank you for being my friends without necessarily

knowing you're doing that all the best shelly so shelly i. I'm caught up with you now. Motherfucker. And we are your friends. The thing about Mensa is that, of course, because you've got this organization of people just being like, yes, we're the geniuses, and we have decided we're the smartest people. And I get that you have to have like a very iq to get into mensa but that is a

very narrow way to it's an exploration of the value of an iq test and an iq test does date back to some sort of origins of eugenics type shit yeah and that uh what's that phrenology is that what it's called where they like measure regions of your yeah yeah it's all very it's all very sinister some great um i love all the little archaic Simpsons gags that they throw at Montgomery Burns, that he's still in phrenology, if that's what it's called, and him answering the phone, ahoy hoy. Ahoy hoy.

You know what that's about? No. It was like, fuck. I think it was the greeting that either Alexander Graham Bell or some other person who was around at the ground floor of inventing the telephone they tried to get it off the ground as the telephone oh yeah salutation and the montgomery burns was around and held on it's good it's so good my favorite they're up to those writers i tell you what my favorite mr. Burns is a thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters.

It was the best of times. It was the blurst of times. Have you watched any Simpsons in the last ages? Dude, I haven't. But I just got the streaming platform in New Zealand that has all of the Simpsons locked away. Are you not allowed to say Disney Plus? I am. Will your head explode?

Sometimes you tell me off for saying products. Oh, yeah, I do. Yeah. And instead of going back to the Simpsons, which I love and is a comfort food, I was like, do you know what I never gave, never actually properly watched and understand is a fantastic show and beloved?

Fucking Futurama. Oh, yeah, man. And so now I'm going to go through all of Futurama oh yeah man and so now I'm going I'm going to go through all of Futurama it's real there's oh I won't even talk about it

there's a sad episode with the dog in there I'll tell you that much oh look out for that um did you ever get into King of the Hill did you ever have a

King of the Hill period not properly but I've delved and it's it's really funny I kind of like it is super popular so it seems a weird thing to say

I've probably said this on the podcast already but like I think King of the Hill is a bit underrated. Yeah. It's a fucking good show. I backed into King of the Hill last year because my most listened to song last year was by a guy called Sir, and the song is called John.

It's by a guy called Sir Mix-a-Lot. And he loves big bucks. No, it's a guy called Sir, and the song's called John Redcorn. And the video clip is like it's in the style of King of the Hill. It's Sir and the other characters, the other rappers, like Kendrick Lamar, and they're animated as the four friends. And it follows, the plot of it of the music video follows one of the storylines that was happening in king of the hill where there was the that guy's wife was having an affair but you sent me this

video i remember watching yeah yeah and then i found this incredible essay by uh i can actually get her name up uh i think her name is cara she's a, I don't know how to say her surname, Schlegel. Anyway, she wrote this incredible essay about King of the Hill that was inspired by that music video. And I was like, fuck, I'm going to get into this and started watching a handful of episodes at

random. It was like during lockdown. And I was like, this show is sensational. Yeah. It was kind of about how it's, even though it's set in a very conservative world, it was actually an incredibly progressive piece of television.

Yeah. 100% and very like humanizing as well. because i think it's one of those shows where you know it would be very easy to just mock um these sort of provincial values and stuff but actually it was like nah man everyone's doing their best and you know Everyone is Silicon Valley See same writer Mike Judge Beavis and Butthead Office Space

That's a pretty good output Isaac writes First of all Isaac donates And therefore Isaac fucks Isaac says Dear Sir Guy and Sir Tim I am assuming that you boys have been knighted by now for your great heroics. So I'm using your proper titles.

This is a message from the part. What does that mean? Oh, the past. From the past. Of my brain. It's from the past. As I am just now finishing season three and I'm so sad to see the end of this crazy, beautiful part of the potty. We've got news for you, motherfucker.

Well, he's not wrong, though. It is the end of that part of the potty, isn't it? I said, what was season three? There was Sex and City. Waif. Oh, yeah. We are your friends. I see there are still episodes in the feed, so I know you boys kept up with something,

and that makes me happy, but I will still miss the original format oh okay there is good news for you mate I am sure you two are very relieved to have all of that behind you now

on and off do you want to respond to that guy on and off mate I am sure you geniuses have moved on to some great more inventive

and great ideas for entertainment you'd fucking think wouldn't you I feel like this person is sassing us. I would have donated earlier, but I felt like that would,

that I would then be encouraging your self-torture. That being said, I will gladly double my donation if I catch up and you guys are still creating. I must tell you that your season two director's commentary was easily one of the highlights of my year that's so nice

that's awesome that episode is exactly as long as it takes me to paint my basement and I was able to actually enjoy painting for once someday I will find a way to see a live show with you boys and I promise beers are on me afterwards stay good boys and you can say my name,

Zach Hurley from Bremen, Ohio. Bremen, Ohio. Fuck. I always said we should get a show in Bremen, Ohio. You did, actually. You've been itching for ages. I kept going like, Guy, we've got to go LA and New York

and we've got to at some stage get to Chicago, and anything on top of that will be good. And Guy kept going, you fucking idiot. Yeah. How do we incorporate? Bremen, Ohio. Zip code 43107, population 1,382. Get thee to Bremen, Ohio, in the great words of William Shakespeare.

Guy started looking into the community centre there to hire out. I did. To do the live show there. But we figured out that for it to be financially viable, we would need about one in two of the entire population to attend. Well, I said, you know,

they've got Bremen Elementary, their one public school. Yep, there's a few heads. But not our target demo. No, no, the kids don't get it. What was I going to say? Hearing that, oh, the offer of beers after a show. Remember when we used to tour, and sometimes we'd get beers after a show.

Remember in Portland? Portland, Oregon. The last time we were in Portland, Oregon, we got, because they have legal weed there. Yeah. We got absolutely fucking pasted Me in particular Yeah That's right

You had to like put me to bed I think I did put you to bed I was not in a good way I think I got a bit sick Because I smoked a bit too much And drank a little too much Yes But we were in a foreign environment

It was great The day before that It was so great We went and bought legal weed pens And got on lime scooters Oh that was so nice. Experienced some tourism. I'm not going to read any more letters.

I want to share memories with Guy instead. My favorite memory of us touring the States, there's a lot of really great ones, but I reckon the one I keep coming back to is when we got stoned and just biked around San Francisco because we had like one spare afternoon. Fuck, that was nice. It was a nice sunny day. It was your initiative. stoned and just biked around San Francisco because we had like one spare afternoon. Fuck, that was nice. It was a nice sunny day. It was your initiative.

You were like, dude, let's go on a bike ride. You got it. There's really, honestly, if you've got headphones and a friend, or not a friend, actually, it's better with a friend, but it's fine without. If you can get a little high or maybe have like a half of one beer

and then get on a bicycle and just fucking roll around on a nice day in a foreign city unbeatable yeah it doesn't get much better and quite accessible as well you don't need a whole lot of money or licenses or anything you're your own boss you're your own tour operator yeah that was um oh man i got a bike the other day did you we went to pick up some um furniture from like a trade me thing and the guy's moving out of his house right and so he's just got all this stuff lying around and outside his house was a bike that's got like proper forks on it proper suspension and it just had a sign that said free so i said this is what the sign says true the proprietor said yes so i loaded it into the back there's a few things that need fixing up but it's a pretty

sick bike have you ridden it yet no because it's got this gunky um stuff on the handle i've got to like replace the whole handlebars yeah yeah just the bits that you hold yeah not the whole actual yeah yeah the bars are all good but it's the handles themselves oh that's great man yeah biking is um biking sick i'm gonna get into biking i think i think it's gonna be a great fit for you yeah everyone says that everyone's like why don't you have a bike well because you're not a driver yeah although i have been doing a bit of driving learning to drive yep yep so i've been i've been driving around in zoe's car she's been teaching uh yeah like yeah supervising i would say more than teaching your learners um yeah i've got Yep, I've been driving around in Zoe's car She's been teaching? Yeah, supervising I would say More than teaching

Do you have your learners? Yeah, I've got my learners which is funnily enough about to expire Because those things last for 10 years Wow It expires in June Is Zoe a good teacher? Is it good for you? I would never recommend

Getting taught by your partner Especially a situation like this Because I teacher like is it good for you is it it doesn't it's not i would never recommend getting taught by your partner this is what i was wondering especially a situation like this because i um uh you know there's danger it's for it's a fraud it's a potentially fraught activity absolutely because if you do something wrong you crash and uh people can get hurt so as a result, you know, I'm quite on edge because this is a new thing for me. But, no, she's good. And to be fair to me, I'm not a bad driver either. That's great. Considering where I'm at.

Certainly you've had a lot of experience in cars as a passenger. A whole lot. I should have been taking more notes. Well, it gives you a pretty good idea of what you like and don't like as a person a person as a person in a car it's true you know you ride around with different types of drivers you're like i'm gonna be more like this person yeah i um i'll tell you what it's a headline memory and we've talked about it a lot but how about when we took those magic mushrooms and went down to sit in the front row of spon SquarePants, the musical on Broadway. We haven't talked about it that much. That was.

And especially recently. That was, for context. It was one of the greatest days of my life. The day we got released from shooting our pilot in New York City, which was seven. It was that day, wasn't it? It was that day. We went out to a fantastic vegan Jamaican restaurant.

Talk first about the, let's set this up properly, talk about the pilot, like just in terms of- Halfway through the pilot when the cameras weren't rolling, but we were still very much living underground and eating only pizza and drinking only water. Start from the beginning. So we get a pilot funded by YouTube. Oh, yeah.

And the pilot is we live underground in a sewer and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles out of the, oh, no, out of the shadows. Yes. Three times a day, every day, for a week. And we actually did it. People were like, wait, what? Did you actually sleep down there? And we always said, we've got more integrity than talent. We ate nothing but pizza.

We drank nothing but water. And we watched nothing but that movie and just kept grading it, reviewing it. And that's online. You can watch that pilot. That's right. And recently it had its year anniversary of living online. So it only got like two dislikes or something. It's got over a thousand thumbs ups.

Yeah. It's a pretty good hit rate. It's not bad. Sorry. So then we come out after a week of living subterranean. We brainstormed this while we were in the bunker. We realized what we want to do. You know, because it's like fresh context.

It's like going off the grid for a week or whatever. We were like, oh, well, you know, with this new perspective on the world and what is possible because we don't have to live in this subterranean fucking hovel anymore, what should we do? And our DP, fantastic man, named Smokey. Oh, yeah, Smokey. Yeah, fuck yeah. Good dude.

We were like, we would love to get some mushrooms when we get out of there. And he was like, I would love to facilitate that for you. Oh, he did that up. Right. And so we got the mushrooms. As soon as we got out, we got the tickets. I remember that as well. I remember the conversation.

I think we were sitting on your bed at the time In New York Because you were living there And I was a bit apprehensive Because it was a lot of money It was a lot of money And we had already spent so much money Getting work visas And doing all of this shit

And I was in a lot of debt And you were like Nah man you won't regret it And I was like Fuck Fucking hell But I don't regret it i was like fuck fucking hell but i'm so i don't regret it so we bought front row tickets and it was a preview this is before it officially

yeah you know like did the proper opening yes was it off broadway or on it was on broadway and we we went in there and the um before the pirate the introductory pirate was there and tim was like i'm gonna go and get a photo with the pirate. Because we had the mushrooms. It's on my Instagram if you scroll. We sprinkled the mushrooms. We went to a vegan Jamaican restaurant. I think it was in Park Slope maybe,

and we sprinkled the mushrooms through our food, and we ate it, and then we caught the train there. And I remember feeling really ticklish from the inside out, and I was like to Tim, this is happening. And you were beaming, like eyes like saucers, looking right back at me saying, I don't think they're doing anything for me yet, man. And I was like listening to reggae on the train.

Even though I knew we were going somewhere better, you know, I was having such a good time. I was like, I don't really want to leave this environment. Yeah. You know, like, you know, transiting between environments is a huge part of the journey anyway. We went into the theater. And to both of our shock and surprise, it was swarming with children and their parents.

Which, you know, shouldn't have been a surprise at all. We were surrounded by kids. Absolutely flying sky high. I remember we sat down, and before you went and got a photo with the pirate there was we both got that photo i hasten to i've got the evidence i think you initiated because i remember afterwards there's this run of like other people got swarming the pirate after we got it and then we sat down and behind us there was someone who was explaining just the very concept of because i used to do a joke about that yeah tell the story that's right

fuck yeah there was the person explaining an adult explaining to another adult at spongebob the musical what spongebob was i think they shouldn't have given them that they should have said you've made it this far just see what it's like without knowing anything anyway it was a fan it was a fantastic night after that we went to a jazz club smalls we fucking legendary yeah well yeah the shocking thing was when the show started because in spongebob unless they change it i don't think they did though they don't dress up in like costumes they're they're just human beings with who are wearing face painted yellow or whatever yeah that sort of references the character but it's not like Spongebob is in a

Like a Spongebob costume Like you get at Disney World or something No no no It's just the guy Yeah He was fantastic God he was good They all were

In fact I remember also at one point Mr. Krabs daughter Pearl Performed an incredible She sang an incredible song And you were so moved that you I was standing oed You were standing o ode i kicked off a standing over pearl she had one number and that i have looked that woman up that performer and she was involved in the production for such a short amount of time and we just happened to see her she didn't continue on she was really young

she was like i feel like you you thought you'd seen the second coming of Rihanna or something It was crazy She was so good Anyhow, it was a fucking hell of a night I mean, look, you and I, Tim, we've lived a life together Yeah, man Those America trips, I miss them But also, maybe it's, you know, maybe that's good that they're done

Well, yeah Well, not good that they're done, but, you know, it's great that they happened. Maybe they'll happen again. Don't cry because it's over. Hey now. Hey now. Smile because it happened. Shall I read something?

Yeah. Yeah, I think you should, Guy. The Nightman Cometh. Yeah, I think you should, Guy The Nightman Cometh I want more on this always sexy in Philadelphia theory Guy We do know that Frank Reynolds was a very successful businessman Yes

Like Big Yeah Maybe Big was trying to close a deal with Frank A merger perhaps He decided to fly to Philadelphia to woo Frank with flat screen TVs And only the finest episodes of Deadliest Catch Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just can't seem to figure out what happens from there. deep into the early hours of the morning, they cross paths with the one and only Mrs. Kelly. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just can't seem to figure out what happens from there, so I hope you boys can try to shed some light.

Guy, I've said it once and I'll say it again. You're a real piece of shit. You're in great nick. A lot of people talking about that. Lots of love and kisses. Willem B. Brook. Did Willem actually say you're in good nick or did he call you a piece of shit? It says, Guy, I've said it once and I'll say it again.

You're in great nick. I'm bringing back piece of shit Montgomery. I'm bringing back Guy, piece of shit Montgomery. Your mistake. You've had it too good for too long. Time to bring a bit of antagonism back onto the pod. When you say I've had it too good for too long Is that just

I haven't been called a piece of shit by you for too long Correct It's been a while between drinks What happens? I mean, Willem's essentially teed up A threesome And he's just been like Crazy thing to think about So who's in the threesome? And he's just been like...

Crazy thing to think about. So who's in the threesome? Frank? Mr. Big. Mr. Big. And Charlie's mum. I don't think Charlie's mum would get involved with that.

I think the other two would be like gunning to make it happen. Because Charlie's mum kind of takes no shit, right? Yeah, I don't know. Look, you've set up a great premise, but... We're afraid to hit it out of the park.

I just... I'll just say this. I haven't watched Always Sunny recently as well. I feel like I get Breaking Bad characters bleeding in there, because I'm watching that at the moment for the first time. People love that. People love Breaking Bad. I've never seen it. Quality show, man. People love Breaking Bad. I've never seen it.

Quality show, man. Never seen Breaking Bad. Never seen The Wire. Never seen The Sopranos. You've seen Titanic? Yeah. Close to my first pair of honkers. Excuse me?

Oh, Kate Winslet's. Right. I thought you meant like in the cinema for some reason. No. The movie was long. Three hours. That was the OG three-hour movie. That wasames cameron being like you know you can do this hey did you did you guys know you could do this and then he made advertising he's like were you also aware that you could go um 3d both times people

were like james we get that you can the question is should Yeah. And in both cases, the answer was no. I made a cut of Titanic that was 80 minutes in length, had everything you needed and nothing you didn't. Leo and Kate were introduced, and then the boat sank for an hour. And then you saw Leo die, and then the credits rolled. I took out all of the shit about The Hope Diamond The flashbacks The sort of A-chronological storytelling Whatever that's described

What is this, Memento? We're watching a boat sink, everybody Let's do it in order Exactly Boat takes off Young love Boat sinks Credits roll

Titanic Give it an Oscar It fucking works Boat takes off, Young Love, Boat sinks, credits roll, Titanic. Give it an Oscar. It fucking works. I'm just going to write this down. What do you write? What, my cut for Titanic? Yeah, yeah. Good on you, mate.

Good shit. All right, everybody. That's going to do it for the friend zone this time around. Also, while we're talking about James Cameron, keep an eye out for Avatar 2 in cinemas in, I think, early 2018. Do I really? I do tell you. What's that word?

I want to get it in my vocab. Admonish? Admonish. Admonish. Do I admonish you for mentioning brands too much? No. You just need to not listen to what I say, though, as well. I think that's the real secret.

Sometimes you use a stern tone of voice. I'm sorry. It's okay. I sometimes use a stern tone of voice i'm sorry it's okay i sometimes use a stern tone of voice yeah i don't listen to you though and that's the that's the secret to success no one listens to me don't do something stern give me something stern oh tim please don't do that no go like this tim oh, fuck Felt that Yeah Tim Yes Don't Okay

But this is like I'm not going to take that on board I'll hear it, but I won't Observe it So I was chopping kale a few nights ago And Olive kept reaching for the kale while I was chopping Young Olive I said, Olive

When I'm using the knife Yep Do not put your hands anywhere near the chopping board, please. Yes. Probably not very stern, actually. You take the please off if it's a safety warning. That's just me. Please off for a safety warning.

Yeah. It's nice to be polite, though. It really is. And I, you know. Did it work? Yeah. Sick. I said hands by sides, actually. Okay. to be polite though it really is and I you know did it work yeah sick I said hands by sides

actually okay guy have you got anything else we need to cover up instead of saying don't do this I told her

what to do oh that's good yeah that's really good because when you say don't do something you want to do that thing yeah anything else to add

well it felt like I was wrapping up I fucked it No I'm not fucked it I'm a real piece of shit Everybody, piece of shit's back in play Get those messages in They're all addressed to Guy piece of shit Montgomery

For a little while Come to the shows if you're in New Zealand If you're not in New Zealand I haven't figured it out yet But we will get some tickets for streaming live So help me jar It's great to hang out with you all Don't listen to my tone of voice

Listen to my words I love ya Fuck off In the friend zone, you're always home. In the friend zone, you're not alone. Anytime with Tim and Guy.