The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone 133

Episode Date: September 26, 2021

A comedy of errors have preceded this Friendzone but the headline news is Tim is a dad now! Tim and Guy commemorate two legends of stage and screen, Willie Garson (RIP) best known for playing Stanford Blatch in Sex and the City 2 (and its associated television universe) and the great Norm Macdonald. To commemorate his death, Guy has introduced Norm to his best friend's dad who now exclusively messages Guy about how great Norm is. A brief history of Mattress Pikelet King and Sex and the City unfolds and the boiz find out he's not the man they thought he was!SUPPORT THE BOIZ: (patreon.com/TWIOAT)JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: (facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTime)FOLLOW US ON TWITTER: (twitter.com/TWIOATPod)VISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: (littleempirepodcasts.com) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the friendzone, in the friendzone, you're always home, in the friendzone, you're not alone, anytime, with Tim and Guy. Hey Guy. Hello Tim. How you doing? I ran all those syllables together. Let me try to articulate that a little better. How are you doing? I'm, in the scheme of it all, Tim, as always, I'm doing pretty well.

But in the immediate term, I'm a little flustered. I'm a little bit wet. Let's talk about our mornings. Let's talk about the preceding 25 minutes-ish that led to this point. Please, I wish we were scheduled to begin our discussion of friendship 33 minutes ago. But these minor little moments that we call life have a habit of getting in the way. call life have a habit of getting in the way um i am famously co-parenting in lockdown and so chelsea and i were dropping olive at her papa's house uh and that ran a little late and i was feeling very poorly as i drove home because i don't like to be late and i'm i i know well you know i know that um just, I think.

Mate, I got nowhere to be. We're in lockdown, baby. I know we're in lockdown, but I do think, you know, I know that you're a new papa yourself. I'm a dad now, Guy. That's right. You are. I call you dad now.

And I don't want to create an impediment or a challenge in scheduling your Zoe and Remy's wants and needs and Rufus's during the lockdown. So if I'm late for a record now, I don't think, oh, this will put Tim out a bit. I think the chain reaction here could be cataclysmic. Tim could be out on the street with baby in hand, not allowed back at his house because I'm 10 minutes late.

I appreciate it. I appreciate it so much. And what I would love to see from you is spending some time to go, you know what? I tried my best. It didn't work out. I don't have to wear that. I don't have to carry around this weight.

Things happen. That's life, baby. You can't please everyone all the time. And if you try, you'll send yourself bloody around the bend They say life's what happens when you're busy making plans And so I got back home And I got set up And then I said to Tim

Hot to trot And then what did you say Tim? I said hold on man You've got to wait a minute now Because something's happening And I'll tell you what that thing was because you don't know this thing. Yeah, you were delightfully vague on the details. Well, the dog just started going nuts.

Rufus the dog just started barking his ass off because someone kept knocking on the door. They knocked once and the dog went fucking insane. So Zoe grabbed Rufus and they went, you know what I think would help? If I knocked on the door again. So they did. And then Rufus went mental a second time.

Nice. So we got the dog restrained and I opened the door and there was a man wearing a mask who handed me a note. a note and the note said well i won't go verbatim but it was from my old flatmates nicola and ethan who very generously uh laid out that they had sent us some pies they said i hope you enjoy the pies hope everything's going well um now here's the kicker there's no fucking pies dude so this man who handed me the note with the mask on said something which i could not hear over the dog losing its mind so the dog's barking away in my ear this guy is saying something i'm like yeah sounds good man cool cool cool i grab the note and then he leaves so i read the note the door is now closed i'm inside and i'm like oh

fuck yeah we got some cool pies delivered so i go to look for the pies the pies aren't there i message nicola she's like do you like the pies i'm like here's the thing about the pies the pies aren't there i messaged nicola she's like do you like the pies i'm like here's the thing about the pies i don't have them so she's now investigating what's happened with the pies but i suspect this young man in between the time that the dog went nuts the first time and the second time hatched a dastardly plan where he sequestered the pies for himself because he knew that i would be sorting the dog out as he handed over the note. And now he is gone, sight unseen.

There is a delightful – how sort of cunning and practical jokery are Nicola and Ethan in that maybe they just send you a card being like, hey, enjoy the pies and nothing else. That's really funny. That is a very funny thing to do that is a really low energy but high impact april fool's joke if you want to keep that in the pocket for next year just send someone a note going i hope you enjoy x yeah attached i well and so you did that and then meanwhile i i sent your message because i didn't want you to then come into the

zoom room and be waiting there. Where the hell is he? So I said just nipping out for an emergency poo. Yeah, which is scary. With a greater sense of urgency. Nipping out for poo, all good. Nipping out for an emergency poo, potentially no good. I don't know how long we're going to be talking for.

I didn't want to be sitting on anything I needed to deal with. Then I came back and you hadn't read it. You hadn't joined the room. And I thought, well, that was really an overshare. I was looking for these pies. Didn't need to let Tim know about that or anyone listening. And then just as we settle in and get ready to record,

I get a phone call from a very friendly old man in Oamaru who's asking me about the comedy show I'm meant to be doing there in two weeks and is like just sort of really friendly and like hard to get off the hook in that sort of, you know, older, overly genial boomer kind of way. You should have taken that, though. There was no need to rush that. That was an important point.

But I know, but we didn't have all this context for each other. You know, like we didn't. I this context for each other. You know, like we didn't, I was just like, get this fucking guy off the phone. And so he's giving me his email, I write down his email and then he goes, and what about my cell phone number?

And I was like, yeah, okay, sure. And so I'm sort of writing it down on this. This is actually entirely on me. I've got in between me and the piece of paper, I'm writing on a glass of water and my audio recorder.

A full glass of water. A full glass of water. And my audio recorder. And then a variety of other bits and bobs on the desk. And as I'm trying to write down this guy's phone number, I just knock the glass of water over everything. And so then I have to dismiss the old man on the phone. Tim's watching me as I'm frantically mopping up everything with a towel

which pretty much brings us to the present day. And do you know what the headline is from all of that, Tim? You would think that it's I've had a kid. I think it is. I want to say on behalf of everyone listening, every friend you have in the world, congratulations, we're so happy for you. You already are and will continue

to be a dad of the highest order thanks mate appreciate it he's a cool kid it's it's nice having a baby i don't doubt it i like it i'm into it is it how different is it from not having a baby it's pretty different um but it you know it's still it's still you there's just a baby? It's pretty different. But it's still you. There's just a baby there that you've got to look after now. But the baby's real nice. But you're the same. I'm just trying to get my head around

who I'm talking to right now. Is this the Tim Bat from a year ago? Be under no illusions guy. It's the same dude. Can I ask you a personal question? Go on. Have you held the baby while stoned? No.

No, I haven't consumed any drugs because the baby's only – I've had a whiskey. That's about the extent of my mind-expanding experiences because Remy is, I think, one week and two days old. Quite young. Quite young. There's a lot of rhythm. It's constantly feeding and pooing and sleeping

in sort of 30-minute cycles. So you've got to keep your head on a swivel a little bit. Remy poos for 30 minutes at a time. Yeah, he's much like you, Guy. He also lets me know. He texts me and he says, I've just got an emergency poo coming to hand. It's an incredibly developed baby

with a sort of terrifyingly efficient digestive system. He's smart. I don't know what to tell you. He's a smart kid. I don't need any more information. And everyone is well and everyone is happy. Zoe's a superstar. Of course.

Of course. Yeah. Just just made for it you know um but it'll be real nice once we get out of this uh lockdown situation and people can come and give him a cuddle and say hello fuck yeah man i can't wait to meet his uncle guy for for god's sake i want to hold that baby safely gonna yeah and then i also want to do a more dangerous hold after that. Sick ass, bro. He's only 4kg, so you can really toss him in the air if you want. Oh, man.

That gives me flashbacks. So there was that public service announcement campaign in New Zealand, which was don't shake a baby. And I'm just like, what state is society in where we have to put out these reminders to people? Hey, I get, do you know,

I kind of have more insight into that now because you, it's, it's like 4am. This kid's been crying his ass off for two hours, which is like a very distressing sound at the best of times, but you're sleep deprived. You're the one in charge of trying to get the baby to stop crying it's not admittedly a normal place for your mind to go but in the in the heat of things i can appreciate how some people would just snap yes yes but i feel like

shaking the baby would only make it louder yeah yeah look i don't i don't need to entertain such uh thoughts at the moment i apologize for even introducing that old psa campaign to the room quite fine but um how's how's your lockdown at the moment man this has been a long one for us and i feel like we're headed towards the end but we don't really know for sure we really don't uh look man the freaky thing about these lockdowns they get older but you stay the same age i wish uh is it's sort of you know like the the the what i find sort of can find alarming is that the dizzying highs can be like the proximity to the plummeting lows. It's never been finer. You know, like the oscillations in mood

are so close to one another. And often it's whether or not there is a cloud in front of the sun. If I can see the sun, I'll be like, this is great. And then on the same day, not 30 seconds later, after thinking this is actually okay, if the sun is behind a cloud, I'll think, oh dear, the sun will be behind a cloud and I will be in my house for time,

for all time. The best of times, the worst of times. Yeah. But I mean, all said and told, look, I'm having a huge amount of trouble opening any emails. All said and told, look, I'm having a huge amount of trouble opening any emails. I am finding anything from the outside world to be unreasonably intrusive. I am having trouble reconciling the fact that I'm only allowed to be in my house,

but people who are outside of my house are allowed to ask things of me. I sent you an email last night at about 1 in the morning. Have you seen it? Yeah, I like that email i like when my friends send me emails being like hey i've got a cool idea for a show yeah i'll fucking open those um but yeah i mean all said we talk about that on the friend zone real quick what the pitch was because if it ends up happening it means that people could tune in from anywhere on earth yeah i mean it's well first of all it's uh because you you have spent so much time energy and dare i say money creating like a very light on your feet high quality um outdoor broadcast i mean you can

pretty much broadcast anything from anywhere at this point, Tim. You have got a television studio that collapses down into the size of like a backpack and a briefcase. And crucially, battery powered. Yes. Got to have that going for you. But yeah, so because it's going to be quite hard to make money putting on comedy shows. I mean, it's hard at the best of times trying to break even doing comedy shows but even more so with the um restrictions that are probably coming with the number of people and by the way shout out to that uh legendary journalist who i didn't actually read the article but i saw a lot of people getting upset because

the guy was like we're getting very local now but a guy called jason wall jason wall walls plural walls he's uh he's actually a very good political journalist but he started working for a reasonably right-wing outfit in new zealand and now he started spouting shit about how it's a waste of money to fund any um arts or artists yeah the pandemic which is a very cool position but you know what i can see how he'd get that take because if he doesn't like art and artists you've got to imagine he spent the last five weeks sitting in a room with nothing on the walls and just his own thoughts thinking i feel angry and i don't know why man he really got taken to task on twitter but i feel for him he's a he's a guy collecting a paycheck and he's he's preaching to an elderly choir do you know who

according to government records is paying the majority of that paycheck? The fucking government. Yeah. He does stand up. Do you know that? Oh, wow. At least he has done some open mics. We should not be dragging someone on a friend zone. Another piece of the jigsaw falls into place.

At any rate, here's the idea for the show that I emailed Guy about last night. We do a comedy show, but it's live streamed on the internet. So that's like an hour and a half. And then the second half of the show is one of the comedians does a DJ set, just like spinning their favorite tunes for about another hour and a half, keep the punters in the room, hanging out, having a lovely time, having a few drinks. And we're kind of like figuring out at the moment

what the implications would be if we did stream the DJ set as well. But it might be possible. It'd be nice, especially if there are different parts of the world that are in lockdown. Is it nice or is it torture to then watch people having a nice time and you're like we're only just out it's still us it's like we're

all spaced out and shit we are um well tim i feel like i've spoken about my lockdown and by the way i love that idea and i haven't emailed you back yet but um you know take this as i've got your response expression of enthusiasm. Aside from becoming a father, how's your lockdown? Or is that sort of... I think that's probably... Is that overridden everything? Yeah, definitely. Everything else is just a trivial distraction

from the fact that you're a family man now. Not trivial. I mean, so Auckland opened up two days ago to takeaways. In New Zealand, here's the system. Everyone stay in your fucking house. That's red alert. And then we've got an orange light, which is everyone stay in your fucking house, but we will allow you to get takeaways.

That's what we're at in Auckland City at the moment. Everyone stay in your fucking house, but you can have some KFC. And New Zealand lost its mind for KFC. you're very grateful for the um the takeaway liberties bestowed upon us where i just found out that the ministry of health has teamed up with kfc and they're going to start vaccinating people at kentucky fried chickens in this country which i just think is a genius move that is that is brilliant it's good stuff. That makes sense. Lockdown's going fine, man. I've never eaten so well in my damn life.

Thank you so much for sending your lovely treats. We're getting a lot of lovely treats sent to us, and I feel like I'm eating like a king at the moment. It's very nice. Oh, that's good to know. I mean, I assumed having some food ready to slam in the oven would be a huge asset given you. Not just any food.

Guy and Chelsea sent me and Zoe, kind of Remy if you think about it, the most delicious, bougie stuff that you could put in an oven. It was so good. It is what we wanted to do. I'm glad it was well received. I've got poetry here, Guy, from a fan. Yeah, I'm just getting my messages up too, so I'm glad it was well received. I've got poetry here, Guy, from a fan. Yeah, I'm just getting my messages up too, so I'm ready. Does the name Nick Radford mean anything to you?

Yeah, Twitter user Nick Radford. And wrestler. Yeah, is he from Portland? I feel like he came to a Portland show. I get confused as to whether or not that guy's a Kiwi, but I guess he isn't. I just see him on Twitter a lot. He's a Twitter friend. Hello, Tim Phipp and Guy Montgomery.

Ha! I hope this message finds you well. You may remember some time ago, by the time you get to this message. Oh, by the way, this came to us on April 1st. The day when you need to remember that cool trick about sending someone a note saying, I hope you enjoy the muffin basket. Yes. Yeah.

sending someone a note saying, I hope you enjoy the muffin basket. Yes. Yeah. That I wrote a little fan fiction poem about the two of you getting a little sentimental after reviewing of one of the Emmanuel films for my podcast, Wrestle Erotica at the time, now likely called Champion Shipping and tweeted at your beautiful faces. I know how much you both enjoyed it.

So I've included a copy of said poem with this email for you to read on the friendzone. If you've already gotten this far into reading the email aloud, you've already committed to the bit, so please read the poem for the whole class to hear. If this works, say my name if it pleases you, the Poet Laureate of Professional Wrestling,

Nick Radford. I think we should do a stanza each How does that sound? Sounds good Are you going to email it to me? Forward that over to your Gmail right now And I will begin The best idea of all time

Tim and Guy had started a trend A special type of task They thought it would never end In bad movies they would bask. I'm just updating my email. I still haven't got it. I don't know what to tell you. I wish I had it.

Got it. Did it send? Yeah. Yeah, that sent. Yep, that sent, Guy. That's there. I'm telling you. Herman Guy has started a trend.

Oh, here it is. A special type of task. They thought that it would never end in bad movies. They would bask. The experiment warped their minds, but they grew closer as friends. They were starting to find that their brotherhood wouldn't end. They had finished up a screening of a classic Emmanuel flick. Both of the boys were beaming and feeling pretty slick.

Frosty fellas looked to record and were feeling experimental. But Guy was looking flawed. He was getting sentimental. What is wrong, my dude? Tim asked Guy with concern. Well, I don't want to be rude, but I've got a lot to learn. I want to live every moment

and to love every day. Guy didn't want to lament the things he was about to say. He knew that time was slipping away from the good, good lads. He knew that he was tripping in love with his comrade. Into love.

Oh, yes. I'm falling in love. Oh, my. Tim felt what Guy needed. He leaned in for a passionate kiss. The sparks of passion were seeded. They'd grown too big to miss. Their love was too strong to

fight. The feeling was truly sublime. They were each other's shining light. It was the best idea of all the time. Wow. That's really great. Did we just fuck? We didn't fuck. It's sweeter than that. I feel like we fucked through the medium of poetry.

That's the best kind. Thanks, Nick. Yeah, thank you very much, Nick, as always. I mean, a poetry submission, it's truly above and beyond. It is. We are immensely grateful for that. Fantastic. What is that?

Rhyming couplet? Yeah, I think that's Oh, couplets, I think A-B-B It was A-B That one was Thank you for that Abab

I got one here Facebook Worst idea of all time Inbox Received Two weeks ago Written Hello, frosty fellows

Tum and gee Hope this finds you well and outside of lockdown guess again but i did have a takeout coffee this morning so uh love the show and we'll eventually get around to the back catalog soon i've heard through the friend zone fan have suggested i've heard through the friend zone fans have suggested ideas for later seasons and I wish to off my own Midsummer Murders is a long running crime show that I've invested

some time into but have yet to correctly guess whodunit on a single episode some of my worst shots in the dark have seen my

number one suspect the second or later victim would love to see you try and guess who did the damn thing all the best and feel free to

say my name backwards. Slew Nora. Lewis? No, I started at the very end of the name. Slew Laura. No, Slew Nora. That's all I'll say. Okay.

I can't do that in my head at all. I would like to watch the Midsommar. I don't know that I could commit to podcasting, but I do like whodunits. I like, it sounds fun. I watched a bit of Broadchurch recently. Any good? Yeah, man.

That's a good series. Fuck. David Tennant and Olivia Colman. Yeah. Can't miss. They just like, not the people behind Broadchurch, but they, the people who create content. There's just so many, there's so much to watch.

And like a lot of it is good. And a lot of it is- Just bow out of all of it. A lot of it is bad. And I watch almost exclusively the stuff that is in the middle. What kind of? I don't know. There's something about the lockdowns.

Chels and I just get deep into reality. Like we do not miss an episode of Celebrity Treasure Island. How is that? Should I watch it? Our friends are on it, so I definitely should. I mean, that was the motivation initially, but now we're just committed. And it's also like, I tweeted about it a few days ago,

which is like, is Celebrity Treasure Island the perfect TV show or have I been in my house for five weeks? Like, it's, you know, the lines are blurring. Fuck, they nailed the timing on the release of that one. Yeah, apparently it's a ratings bonanza. How could it not be? But it's like, yeah, it's a lot of fun. And you are watching, you know, I don't know.

I enjoy it. But I know that it's like, you know, I've not watched The Sopranos and I started watching that and that's still on the back burner and I'm like, there's two very different paths I could be traveling down, but Celebrity Treasure Island is just the comfort I need. At least it's new. I watched Ghostbusters again last night. How was it?

It rocked. I love it. It's so good. It's still so good. It's such a great film. There's really nothing like Ghostbusters 1 and 2. They're very unique. Yeah.

In terms of like they are comedy movies that work so well that take the kind of scary bits semi-seriously yeah it's bloody good stuff this email is so long it's like um what's that word it's quite daunting To look at Yeah, you got the word Should I read it? Yeah, you got the word and you got the email I was looking for a different word Intimidating?

Yeah, that's the word I was looking for I got you I haven't caught up to now Just for reference now It's 15th of April, according to this email. But I just finished season four of TwioA, and I can't sit idly by anymore. I don't know if this has been addressed yet, but after 104-ish episodes with the gals, and as a fan of the original TV show, I want to clarify a detail that's been bothering me.

Michael Patrick King is not the original creator of the sex in the city tv show in fact he wasn't even attached to the project at all in the beginning the show was created by darren star of 90210 and emily in paris fame star was the executive producer of the series and helmed the writing through seasons one and two which in my opinion are the very best of the show and then just produced mostly for season 3 but like halfway through season 4 Star gave the executive producer title to Patrick, King and

Michael pretty much exactly around the time the show started to go downhill L-A-M L-M-A-O anyways Star was still attached to seasons 5 and 6 but he was very hands off as the duo Michael and King slowly butchered the show as both Star and the original author of the book Sex and the City were frustrated with King's ending. progressed and as king took over the show morphed into the very thing it began by making fun of a rom-com with a tragic ending of carrie ending up with the honestly emotionally abusive big

both films were also never intended by star despite his name being attached so while not happy star still collected a check and let it happen and i honestly can say that after viewing everything carrie and the gals have to offer king really dropped the ball and missed the mark and killed the guy with the apple on his head insert fourth metaphor here anyways i wanted to clarify not only so i wanted to clarify to not only save what little respect I have for those brilliantly smart first seasons, but also lay the blame of the franchise's demise on King, as his time at the helm of the franchise was never good to begin with. Thanks for everything so far, and I hope to hear this in a friend zone when I eventually catch up.

Love to you both. Spencer, Maple, say it baby. to you both. Spencer, Maple, say it baby. You can read this on the podcast but it's kind of personal so you can stop here at the PS. Up to you guy.

You want the rest or nah? Maybe after we finish recording. You want to read it now? I just want to, I can't. I'm trying to read it now? Read it I just want to I can't I'm trying to read it Without saying it out loud

I want to know what's in it I'm a curious boy Yeah Curious I'm just going to read it I'm a trans woman And wanted to thank you For your humility and grace

With the Wachowski sisters incident As well as generally being good allies While it's to be a minimum to expect It warms my heart To know you fellas are cool. I'm openly trans, so don't worry if you did keep reading ahead. And also, I just want to say one last thing. My friends and I all believe a popular theory within the trans woman circles

that Samantha Jones is actually a trans woman. And there are many bits and jokes that make this theory not only hold water, but make her character and jokes even funnier. I won't go into details, but anyway, I thought it would be fun for you to consider end part two love ya and then there's one other little bit slight correction michael patrick king wasn't attached to the series as a producer after season one he directed and helped write one or two episodes then and then later got more and more responsibility until he used that power for evil. Uncle Ben taught him nothing.

Wow. That's a Spider-Man reference. I didn't get the Spider-Man reference. Uncle Ben says with great power comes great responsibility. Oh, I know that quote. I always say that to people. Thank you so much. What was that?

Spencer. Spencer. Thank you so much what was that was that spencer spencer thank you so much spencer for that fantastic and quite insightful uh email i mean i haven't actually watched enough of the original materials to know exactly how much mattress pikelet deteriorated the original ip but i'm not surprised. And actually also the timing of this inspired me. We're recording this on September 24th to give a huge shout-out and a rip to the great Willie Garson, who was the actor who played Stanford Blatch,

Carrie's best friend, who died at a very young 57 just recently. Yeah. Which is obviously devastating. We love Stanford. We did love Stanford. And we're sorry to see Willie go. Let me say a few words about Stanford. Okay.

Stanford was a great friend to Carrie and a great friend to us, the Frosty Fowlers. He brought love and life into our days and sometimes our nights when we watched Sex and the City 1, which I can't remember how much of it he's in, but certainly a big starring role in sex in the city two for being one half of the big gay wedding i immediately when i when i um what was the first scene you thought of when you heard that he had passed um it was when he's talking to carrie and they've got the crowns Yes, same

Luciferian crowns It's the scene where he's saying that Anthony's allowed to cheat Because he's Italian And Carrie's dressing up like Hades Queen of the underworld Exactly Anyway, we're sure that Stanford's ripping it Spencer, I'd also like to thank you very much

Oh yes, of course And like to thank you very much. Oh, yes, of course. And a huge thank you to Spencer. I think it's good to... I like people correcting the record on our ass when we get stuff wrong. It's good. It's good to have that on the records. Yeah.

57's too young, eh? I'd like... What age do you want to be when you die, guy? I've always... In my head, the number I've been aiming for is 80 It's still, I think by modern standards it's not old But I'm just like I actually had a huge This is sort of by the by

But I had a huge phone call with My best friend from like school and high school and a friend who i'm still incredibly close with who's on the other side of the world now uh his dad who's like a family friend he called me up on the phone like a week ago and this was not long after norm mcdonald had died and started sort of talking to me and we wound up like he was just just he just called up to shoot the breeze and we were on the friend's dad my friend's dad and we were on the phone for like an hour and um just catching up and we spent a lot of it talking about mortality and uh he was he he had a similar thing he said he was talking about it and um

and eight and he's he's always thought 80 was the number and he sort of looked his life in these 20-year blocks and he sort of thought of the 20 years as like 1500 meter increments so he's like you know i'm rounding the bend to my life he's he's i think he's approaching um 60 now so he's rounding the bend to sort of the the last 1500 meters and he was the reason he was talking to me was he was saying he he'd been playing um he tried to play golf with some friends and he's quite a coordinated guy he's good at most things he does and he said that he had become like incandescent with fury and he was sort of you know riffing on this and being like and i just think i'm into the last you know 1500 I don't need to be picking up anything I don't want to fucking do.

I don't want to waste the last block of my life being bad at things and just feeling angry. I kind of respected it. And anyway, so then I was like, well, it's funny you're talking about all this mortality stuff because my favorite comedian, he died, like totally out of the blue and it really rocked me. But he sort of like, David Bowie'd it in that he didn't tell anyone

and he'd been sick for nine years and he was quite prodigious. His output was quite, he put out quite a lot of stuff in that nine years. And so when you revisit it now, obviously you can watch it through a different lens. And I pretty much introduced him to Norm Macdonald. I was like, I'll send you some stuff if you like like it let me know and i'll let the floodgates open and really hammer you with norm and then for like a week since then all he does is just message me different videos he's found of norm on on youtube and he's like i've been pretty much

absorbed with norm mcdonald since your introduction. Thanks. And then a day later, here's a class act. And then two days later, a link to Norm Macdonald telling a joke about a pig with, do you love the pig joke? I just can't stop watching Norm. And then three days later, such a pleasure. Love is drawl. Great thing is that after half an hour with Norm, one is in a good, happy space.

Very important. And then an hour after sending that, he's a class act, no? Excellent waiting, eye contact, et cetera, et cetera. That's sweet. Yeah. That's very nice. You've brought some joy into his life. I really have.

As Norm has. I was like, I i think norm and remy might share the same soul if i'm not mistaken that's right mere hours apart i believe um and i i i was uh i was very i was very rattled and then i spent two days just exclusively in norm mcdonald's company and i've actually found it to be quite a motivating and inspiring thing um excellent it's you know obviously it's a tragedy but he went out on his terms and uh he's left like just a trail of some of the funniest moments in the history of performance.

Yeah. I don't know how we started this little tangent. Mortality, Guy. Of course, we're on the friend zone talking about mortality. Where else would we be? Exactly. I've got a fun little message here from, well, I won't say their name yet because they've asked for a specific style of presentation.

Oh, cool. It just says this. Boys, just watch an episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte and Runkle go for a fancy dinner and both get the shits. That's all. Just seems like prime Twiowat content. Hope lockdown isn't destroying you. Say my name in the style of Charlotte shitting herself. Chrissy Stiles!

Really good, man. Thanks. It's a great, I mean, you know, I take some of the credit, but it was a great prompt. So huge shout out to Chrissy for that. Really good. Was that, sorry, I was reading an email for the first bit of that. Was that a Sex and the City episode

where that happened? Yeah. I'm not going to watch it. I was about to ask you should we watch it, and I've already decided in my head I'm not doing it. I'm not going to go and watch Sex and the City. It's not happening. Sorry, everybody.

That's not what's happening. Do what you want. Do what you got to do. I'm just going to watch Ghostbusters a reasonable amount of times. Not a crazy worst idea amount of times, but I will revisit it. As and when you please. At my leisure. Good for you.

Next up, maybe Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Oh, yeah. Also good for you. I'm going to make this my last one. Okay. My name is Sam. They, them. Just sending my gratitude.

If you want to read this on the friend zone, you go, oh, by the way, Sam has sent 15 US dollars to accompany this message. Fuck. Yeah. Hi there. Intimidation and gynasium. About a year ago, I started binging your podcast right after graduating and getting my CG VFX degree. With COVID and the

deep fear of actually getting out there in the industry, I'm stuck as a 3D fairy artist. Yeah, that's furry, eh? F-U-R-R-Y? It's furry? A 3D furry artist making cash doing freelance work. I just wanted to send my gratitude and to say thank you, sweet boys,

so much for talking into my ear every day and being a shining beacon in a scary world. You two are wonderful. Keep up the amazing podcast work. P.S. I don't think any furries ever sent their inputs about the Cats movie on the show before, but I got paid good money to see it in theaters, and afterwards, movie hopped to watch Star Wars Rise of Skywalker. After all that, I can say it was one of the most miserable experiences I have ever had in a movie theater.

Also, you can say my name, thank you sam and congrats yeah for the graduation yeah working hard out um sam that's very generous to to send us money especially when you're freelancing it's a regular scary position to be in sometimes. But the other thing about that is sometimes you are absolutely flush. Sometimes you're crushing it. You just have to know that it's not forever. Which you never do. Put some away. Do we, Guy?

We eat like kings for three days and then famine for a month. That's right. That's how we do. I got something here. You want it? And then we'll call it a day. I want it badly. Oh, here we go.

Tim, before I do this, what was your first pet's name? No. Okay. Interesting. Because this is a password recovery question, and I don't know if I've used it anywhere. Oh.

Well, dear Tim's home street and first pet. Yeah. See, here's the thing about that. You know how these keep popping up on Facebook? I'm pretty sure people are mining this to take over your account. Well, I don't have either my first street or a pet in anything. Good. Good for you.

So I think from memory, Home Street, is that where I live now or is that my first street? It's up to you but i i think it's probably where you were where you grew up okay i'm gonna go upland sam so boring upland sam gonna give it to you upland sam gonna give it to you uh dear tim's home street and first pet and upland sam after hearing your pitch to George Lazenby for a Looper-style sci-fi porn, I was struck that it's remarkably similar

to the short story All You Zombies by Robert Heinlein. If you see George, let him know that adapting this story might be up his alley, though there are some portrayals of trans people that might be a bit problematic. The set-up is that an aging bartender is the world's greatest listener. It's obvious he should play this role i mean it is incredibly obvious for a start that is unbelievable but is secretly part of a time traveling security agency holy shit what a writer

at the bar tells a long-winding story about how he was born and raised as a girl and at around 20 years old was impregnated during a one-night stand. After delivering a baby girl, the writer was told that they had both male and female sex organs. The doctors did a surgery so the writer would be fully male. The time-travelling bartender takes the writer back in time to get revenge on the man who impregnated them,

only to have sex with the young female version of himself so he was in fact the man who got herself pregnant i'm having trouble keeping my pronouns in line here and there are at least two more plot twists that i won't reveal but it's only nine pages long if you want to read it. This was published in 1959. This could make a good short pornographic film as it is one piece of science fiction that is truly seminal. And then rimshot. Say my name, Rob Juergen Dukes. P.S. After sending this message, I discovered that All You Zombies was already made into a 2014 movie

called Predestination, made in Australia and starring Ethan Hawke. Still, that is listed as an action thriller, not a porno, although it does have a Metacritic score of 69. Nice. Ah.

Fuck me. Predestination, a budget of $5 million and a box office of? 1.2. $5.4 million. A cool 400 grand profit. For all that work? Man, sci-fi writers from the past.

Yeah, calm down. How do they do it? Have you read any Asimov? No, I haven't actually read much sci-fi writers from the past. Calm down. How do they do it? Have you read any Asimov? No. I haven't actually read much sci-fi, but those are the prescient authors. I want to read Foundation because I think they've just... I've started a couple of times

and I'm not that into actual sci-fi, like actual big epic. Let's describe how an intergalactic government works. Yeah, yeah. Not really my cup of tea, but I should give it a good honest try because Asimov's short stories are so fucking sick. And they're real, just pick it up, have a cup of tea, read one. It's great.

Put the book down. I love that, man. It's so good. All about making that book easier to pick up than your phone. If you can get iRobot on our favorite platform, Amazon, Amazon Books, you should. It's fucking good. We've been talking for a long time.

I know, but we haven't actually gotten to catch up for a long time, so it feels really nice. I miss you, buddy. I miss you, too. Speaking of Amazon Books and Norm Macdonald, just before we leave, I bought my dad his book. This has happened twice with dad. I bought dad for Christmas.

I bought him one year. I bought him Norm Macdonald's Based on a True Story, and then a year later I bought him Alan Partridge. I, Alan. We need to talk about Partridge. And both times he couldn't get his head around that they were like fiction. Right, right.

And he got really frustrated. He got really frustrated reading Alan Partridge's autobiography. He's like, I can't fucking stand this guy. But anyway, I tried to get him to... When when norm died i wanted him to send up the copy i gave him because i wanted to reread it um and he couldn't find it and then i've been looking i cannot i don't think this book is available in new zealand and the thing is norm recorded he recorded as an audiobook and it's on audible in other territories but not in nz and you can't get it you can't get it on a Kindle in NZ.

There are no hard copies at any of the independent bookstores I've looked at. What the fuck? That's so weird. Yes, I know. Maybe I should tweet at some bookshops. Dude, that's really bizarre because I'm pretty sure I've seen it on bookshopsves like previously.

I think I saw it in Unity. Maybe, I think it might. I mean, I have no idea. Because I live in such an echo chamber of comedy. Whether or not his death will send big enough ripples into the community that a bookstore will restock it with their own free will. I'm looking on some New Zealand websites that, you know, they're pretty huge range of stuff and they do not have this book in New Zealand.

They recognize the title, but none of them have it, eh? It is so cooked. Maybe it's because of its popularity, because some of these are saying backorder Temporarily out of stock I reckon they've been saying that for years though Oh well, off to the torrents for you then Guy Montgomery You tried to do an honest day's work What a gift that he

That he recorded that audiobook Now that he's dead What a treasure that is True that You should do that You should write a memoir and then record it Nah, that's for later At the moment I've got to

You're doing it, you're doing the thing At the moment I've got to write an email to this guy in Omuru Oh yeah, fair enough mate You've got to get on that Maybe mop up the rest of that glass water I won't do that but I will launder the two tea towels And one full sized towel that I used to clean it up We've got big plans everybody we better hop to it nice to see you all our friends yeah thanks for

thanks for writing and thanks for listening and we hope that everyone is well and holding it down wherever you are i i wish the same for you tim i i send my best to zo Zoe and Rufus and Remy. I can't wait to see you all in person. It's going to be hot shit. I saw you went down to the local burger joint and got yourself a burger. Burger truck. Yeah. Smashed Burgers, established 2021. That's the full name of the truck.

Yeah, and the guy does make fantastic burgers. They're so good. You've got to get out there and support your local burger trucks. It is crucial. You really do. They don't get shout-outs in the news every day for a week. It is simply one gifted animator on YouTube using Guy and Mai's voices to celebrate these heroes of society.

Yeah. Literally the last week it was like, The News, brought to you by kfc well here you go i'll leave you with this and then i really will hit the big red button that stops recording worthy kids w-o-r-t-h-i kids google that Go on the YouTube. Ian Rules. He's so good at what he does. He is a gifted animator, writer, director. Funny shit.

His output is incredible. It's free for you to consume. You're going to love it. Guy and I feature on some of these animations. It's sick as. Yeah. Good day, everybody. cares yeah good day everybody