The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone 136

Episode Date: October 29, 2021

All dressed up and nowhere to go, Tim and Guy have prepared and braced themselves to record their annual episode of Till Death Do Us Blart (aka Death Blart), only for the McElroy brothers to not show ...up. That leaves Tim in a beautiful suit and Guy dressed head to toe in hemp, with nothing to do but shoot the shit and check in on their friends. The boys discuss the future direction of the podcast post-Emmanuelle and many wish Tim hearty congratulations on his beautiful baby Remy, with some even going so far as to ask him to stop podcasting for a year (not happening!) George Lazenby is writing letters to the editor and fellaz discover that many months ago a woman named Hillary donated $100 accompanied by a delightfully inspiring note.DEATHBLART: (tilldeathdousblart.com)SUPPORT US ON PATREON: (patreon.com/TWIOAT)JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: (facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTime)VISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: (littleempirepodcasts.com)MUSIC CREDIT: Tender Moonlight (facebook.com/TenderMoonlight)ART CREDIT: Tomas Cottle (sick-days.com) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the friendzone, in the friendzone, you're always home, in the friendzone, you're not alone, anytime, with Tim and Guy. Hello everybody and welcome to the friendzone. I'm going to turn my video on now, Guy. Oh! Why don't you turn the light on? on oh that makes me feel so sad oh no oh tim we were ready so um we're potentially blowing up the mackleroy's spot right now and uh revealing a little behind thethe-curtain movie magic of how the sausage gets made vis-à-vis death blart. But we were supposed to record with those brave McElroy boys today, and they just didn't show up. They're supposed to be here now.
Starting point is 00:00:59 So we thought, why don't we turn it into a friend zone opportunity? That's right. We didn't schedule aggressively enough. They are in America. Yep. Family men. Why don't we turn it into a friend zone opportunity? That's right. We didn't schedule aggressively enough. They are in America. Yep. Family men. Yep.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Successful men. Yes. And not in lockdown. All of these things are true. And so I suppose that means that we'll just have a little bit more profanity in emails moving forwards. Do you think that will help get them on the line or is that just something we've earned or what's the rationale? I don't think that we've earned it and I don't think it's more likely to get them on the
Starting point is 00:01:33 line. But when I say we need to schedule more aggressively, that was the first solution that came to mind. Now, the reason I said Tim looks or makes me feel sad is that while we were in the lobby the podcasting waiting room uh tim had his camera off and i thought that's unusual but it's actually not super unusual because sometimes if you've got a lot of people on the line everyone has their video off so that um the internet moves faster and you avoid lag. But then as soon as we started recording this little friend zone, Tim turned his video on and revealed that he is in a very dapper, grey, three-piece suit with a white, crisp white dress shirt
Starting point is 00:02:17 and a perfectly tied pink bow tie to top it all off. The man looks a million bucks. He was ready like oh that shit breaks my heart ma'am this reminds me of when i was uh probably seven or eight and i was playing a game of cricket and my mum and my little sister were coming to watch me play cricket and i don't actually remember the outcome of the game i don't know if we'd won or lost very efficiently but i remember like i was just packing up my stuff as they arrived to watch the game. And, like, Mom had packed some sandwiches and drinks
Starting point is 00:02:50 and my little sister had, like, brought, like, all these crayons and this coloring and stuff. And, like, they'd made such an effort to come and, you know, be a part of the experience for me and enjoy it for themselves. And I just felt so guilty that as they arrived, everyone else was leaving. And this has that, that like there's a it gives me a feeling deep in the pit of my stomach which is um it's just i guess i don't know if sadness is right but it's just like you know it's so nice to make an effort and really turn something into something more well i'll never do
Starting point is 00:03:23 it again good Good to know. It takes but a moment to pop a suit back on. I'm just looking for any excuse to get dressed up at the moment. I put on my own version of formal wear. A red T-shirt and a hemp hat. 100% hemp. Nice. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:42 Very formal. You look great as well, Guy. Can I say that? It's nice to do video, isn't it? It is nice to do video, and it's nice to be with a friend. It's nice to expect. I mean, the flip side of the situation, it's nice to expect one thing, then all of a sudden do another.
Starting point is 00:03:56 This is a more informal affair. This is breezier. This is a casual catch-up amongst close confidants. How many Cs was that for? catch-up amongst close confidants how many c's was that four have you been going a bit crazy a bit stir crazy in your house guy well that's one way of putting it tim we've been here i think for nine ten weeks not a world record but long enough that it feels long yeah no world record although i think our conditions have been a bit more stringent than anywhere else so like when we say we're locked down we we kind of mean it you know yeah brother we are locked the heck down we are locked down however
Starting point is 00:04:37 um our glorious leader did allow us to under very specific circumstances visit our have visitors and visit our friends as long as it's outdoors and so Guy has seen me twice he's seen little Remy, he's enjoyed the company of an infant. I have
Starting point is 00:05:00 and I've not picked the infant up and that is this is the most mild version of the unusual circumstances we find ourselves in, but it is interesting to observe that it is definitely in human nature, more especially when it's someone's baby who you know, but you do want to pick up the baby you want to hold the baby you want to hold a baby you want to kiss the crown of the baby's head and smell
Starting point is 00:05:29 the baby's scalp uh i don't know why that is but it is what it is and tim by the way everyone because there was a pause earlier in the podcast and you all probably thought oh no guys pause because he's unprofessional the reason i paused is that tim somehow set up a picture in picture on his camera where just his face was in a little square and it was really close up oh could you see that yes and now he's he's fiddling around with an incredibly high definition camera and zooming it in on himself slowly why wouldn't you i mean it's just another example of the lengths that you've gone to for, I guess, the idea of this year's seventh annual Blartcast. Yeah, I did the count up as well.
Starting point is 00:06:14 Seven's a lot, eh, of anything to have. Well, yeah, but that's a different conversation for a different day. I guess that is correct. So to the friend zone, I guess, guys. So we're in an interesting situation with the podcast. What's happening with Worst Idea right now? In real time, we have watched, what was that last one? We watched Carry On, Emmanuel.
Starting point is 00:06:40 Oh, that's right. Yes, Carry On. Carry On, Emmanuel is what I was going to say. Well, I did name that episode Carry On, on guy and tim which is sort of similar and that we do and we've done that one and then we said it might be the last one but it's actually not someone has sent me the link which might be possible to watch the willy wonka made in japan emmanuel sex and chocolate of course they have um but the thing is guy the the sort of hesitancy or the trouble that i've faced with that one is this um we've got a situation whereby both the websites where i can rent that are
Starting point is 00:07:21 entirely in japanese and for some usually Chrome gives you an option to translate the website into English but that wasn't available so it's just I can't read Japanese, unfortunately hopefully one day I'll get there Hey Tim, try harder dude, literally
Starting point is 00:07:39 it's just shapes yeah, they're real characters and a lot of people can read Japanese, so why can't I? The system works for them. What it means, Guy, dear Guy Montgomery, is that I would be handing my credit card details over to a website that I can't get any kind of a read on whatsoever. Like, I just, I don't know, yeah, what to do with that.
Starting point is 00:08:04 It seems bad. It seems like a bad idea so maybe i should buy it like a prezi card which is like a prepaid visa and that way they can't they can't fuck you up they can they can yeah they can only take from you to the value of however much money is on the prezi card exactamundo sensible fix uh so we will either watch that or failing that we will be watching uh george lazenby's masterpiece which i'm very excited for uh on her majesty's secret service and somewhere amongst either those one or two screenings uh we will conclude this exhausting sort of aspirationally horny but just abysmally flaccid softcore season
Starting point is 00:08:50 and I we haven't got anything lined up for for afterwards well that's not necessarily, not immediately afterwards but we do have a project that we were working on before we got plunged into lockdown. Now, Tim, have you noticed that everyone likes to say
Starting point is 00:09:08 that they get plunged into lockdown? Have you noticed that the news media often say plunged? No, the news is for sickos, mate. I don't watch the news anymore. They're not saying it so much lately, but I'm surprised you didn't notice it. Sometimes they say something was plunged into chaos or was plunged into turmoil. Sure, I've heard that, but I haven surprised you didn't notice that sometimes they say something was plunged into chaos or was plunged into turmoil.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Sure, I've heard that, but I haven't heard plunged into lockdown. Personally, I just like to plunge into a pool. I mean, what's wrong with your common noun that is a pool? Good on you, Guy. Thanks, Tim. But basically, we'd started working on an exciting new... Well, I was genuinely... I find it strange that you would put that
Starting point is 00:09:51 we don't have something to go on afterwards. I would say we absolutely do. Yeah, I more mean immediately. Well, we kind of do if we want. We might take a little breather to, um, give us ourselves, you know,
Starting point is 00:10:09 give me a moment to, to maybe eat it a couple of things together. Yeah. And, and, um, yeah. And spend some time with Remy.
Starting point is 00:10:17 Yeah. But it's like, you know, it's not a salt mine or a, or a coal mine. I don't have to like, no fucking grab a pickaxe and no all the coal mines are closed uh were that true well i don't mean for environmental reasons i mean because
Starting point is 00:10:35 of the lockdown oh no actually we're in level three the coal mines are back open i don't even fucking know anyway listen guy the mailbag It's why we're here But I'm enjoying this sort of long-winded And deliberately vague preamble As I'm sure our listener is not Well, I'm curtailing it So have you got mail for me, Big Papa? Yeah, I love it
Starting point is 00:10:59 Big man on campus I love it when I call you Big Papa This is from... Oi, can you please, right now, put your hands in the air if you're a real player. Guy did it. Let the record show. Guy has both hands in the air.
Starting point is 00:11:15 I'm a real player. Now, this is just a screenshot of... I'm going to take this jacket off. I feel ridiculous. I don't know what it's from, but it's a screenshot of... I'm going to take this jacket off. I feel ridiculous. I don't know what it's from, but it's a screenshot, and it says, how come James Bond never rips the arse of his trousers? That is such a good question.
Starting point is 00:11:36 You'd have to think that James Bond knows by this stage. He's been in the game for like 70 60 years i think so you'd have to say by this stage the man probably knows um roughly what's about to happen to him he's going to be into some physical hijack so he's got some sort of like spandex blend you know like a high grade cotton with spandex or something rayon i love rayon um the the the screenshot of like it's like a sort of letter to the editor type thing but the font and the sort of colorway suggests it's in some sort of either gossip or maybe movie mag but i'll keep reading how does james bond never rip the out of his trousers? Since Daniel Craig took over the role,
Starting point is 00:12:26 he always wears those really tight suits. And what with all the jumping off balconies and fights he has, you'd expect to see a bit of ass cheek hanging out occasionally. Unless Q has devised some kind of super strong stitching thread, in which case they should make some kind of reference to it in the script. And the letter is credited to Georgeorge lazenby from gateshead it would be so mean if that if that really was george lazenby just gets bored and writes that's like what he's up to these days he just writes letters to the editor about all the
Starting point is 00:12:59 problems he's got with the daniel craig it's such a franchise it's such a fun little um gag to credit like you know like to write letters to the editor under different names and can i tell you tim this is such a specific one but it never fails to amuse me and to understand it you have to have a very specific knowledge of uh new zealand criminal history or certain parts of it, and cricket. Have I mentioned this on the podcast before? Not to my knowledge. But basically, there's a great website if you're a cricket fan called ESPN Cricket Info.
Starting point is 00:13:35 And it's like, if you can't watch the game, it's the most like dedicated for any specific sport. It's the most dedicated website I've seen where they give you very like precise and descriptive ball-by-ball commentary of every ball in a cricket match. It could be a T20, which is the shortest format. It could be a test match, which lasts for five days. And they've got a rotor of different commentators who sub in, and they just commentate the game
Starting point is 00:13:57 as you're going for fans who can't watch the game for whatever reason. And as part of this experience, they also have a whole you know an army a bank of users like you know punters who just write occasional comments and like the commentator will occasionally pull one out and respond to it like you know people are speculating about whatever and whenever new zealand plays cricket games there's always a user who is uh writes under the name Mark Lundy. And he's always talking about how he has to go on a drive, a three-hour drive, but he's hoping he can make it there in time for the last ball.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Oh, boy. That is funny if you are in the Venn diagram of... well basically if you're a new zealander mark lundy was a murderer everybody and i think we put him away and one of the crucial pieces of evidence was whether or not he could um it was possibly have made a drive it was possible to drive from one place to another in under three hours and like to the point that it became like a hobby amongst amongst just regular people to try and do it. Yeah. A lot of speeding tickets have been generated,
Starting point is 00:15:10 I think by the, it was called the Lundy 500. Yeah. Anyhow. You gotta say handy because otherwise it doesn't rhyme. Yeah. Um, any,
Starting point is 00:15:20 anyhow, that's all by the by. Uh, so lovely, lovely screenshot. Thank you. I love like we are a repository for all sorts of insane miscellanea pertaining to things that we've covered.
Starting point is 00:15:33 Guy, we are essentially at this point a suppository of pop culture and knowledge about the enterprises that we choose to interface with, whereby people say, hey, why don't we shove this up the asses of tim and guy and our asses gratefully receive all of this information when they gobble it up yeah our hungry little bums go ahead tim jim writes just in case i'm the first to point this out oh this is just a technical one apparently we're too quiet on Spotify And the ads are very loud Is that fixable?
Starting point is 00:16:11 Not really We do our best There's a thing called Loudness normalisation Which I put to Negative 19 luffs For the real gearheads out there because I think that's Apple's
Starting point is 00:16:27 Apple iTunes standard for compressing the audio correctly and pretty much if Apple says something everyone else follows it so don't know what to tell you Jim we're trying our best but to all of our Spotify listeners who get the ads I do apologise for the
Starting point is 00:16:44 discrepancy in the ass-blasting volume. That really sucks for you. It is. And if you pay for Spotify Premium, you still get podcast ads. No. Do you? I don't listen to podcasts on Spotify. Do you know why?
Starting point is 00:17:02 At all. You don't. And I don't either, but sometimes I do and you don't. I was thinking of Pocket Casts, which is what I use. Yeah, same. It's a good app. Shout out. What is this friend zone? Do you like it?
Starting point is 00:17:16 What? This friend zone? No. Don't you? No, I don't. Well, I think I was all geared up to do a deathblast. You know what I mean? I see. So I'm dealing with the letdown. I knew it. It's great to hang out with you. Don't get me wrong.
Starting point is 00:17:29 No, no, no. You're fine. I'll read like a more traditional fucking friendzone message to try and lighten your spirits, you bag of shit. All right. On Facebook at Worcester Devil Time. Hello again, Tim and Guy. Mostly there's a message for Tim today but i'll read it uh firstly
Starting point is 00:17:46 congrats on the baby thank you i'm sure if remy sees any percentage of the dedication you've put into this podcast then he's going to have a great dad um and his smiley face i believe that's like if remy experiences the same level of dedication not if remy witnesses it in becoming a podcast listener yeah uh secondly are you aware of the subreddit reddit.com forward slash r forward slash tim it's a sub dedicated solely to people called tim and making sure they're all having a good time i personally came across it when i was browsing my name's equivalent, Tom. Unfortunately, Tims and Toms have declared war on each other multiple times. And there's been quite a lot of mud flinging back and forth between the two names.
Starting point is 00:18:36 And then there's a link to a post from r slash Tom, which includes the sort of subheading, found a sign to vandalize, which I assume has the word Tim on it. I just wanted to see if you're aware of these things going on and to let you know that when things eventually come to blows, I'll be very sad to see you go. Anyway, thanks for the great pods as ever. Keep up the great work, Tom. Tom, you've underestimated us for the last time.
Starting point is 00:19:05 I've only just heard about the subreddit, but I'm joining the fray. My favorite post that I'm seeing, though, scrolling through, was posted a month ago, and it just says in the title, I don't think so, and then body, Tim's. And I would wager that most people listening to our podcast, hopefully, are too young to get that reference to home improvement. Wow. But to you people, I say,
Starting point is 00:19:29 pretty good. Yeah, it's a fun noise. It's fun. It is fun. All right. It's time for a message for Guy. Oh. It's actually to both of us,
Starting point is 00:19:43 but I just thought it should be inclusive because the last one was mainly for me have sent this to twilight twitter and facebook not sure what gets read not this stop reading it tim yeah it's kind of long too and it's also because i think it's been copy and pasted into the email the formatting's's fucked up, so the text is tiny. Let's give them what they want. Let me try and zoom in so this is kind of readable. Dear Gom and Bim, I've just finished my second listen-through of the first, second, third, fourth series. Okay, I'm so glad that I did not shortchange this person by skipping over the correspondence because that is a lot of worst idea.
Starting point is 00:20:27 And also, do more. And my week with cats. I can't include the Rob Schneider stuff in the re-listens. It's just too much. Now, this sounds very familiar to me. Can I just pause you and say I completely forgot we did Doolittle. Same. That's like not even on my radar of my life experience because you you've like uh what were
Starting point is 00:20:48 you on recently where you brought up my week with cats was it on breakfast tv it might have yeah i think it was yeah yeah guy was on nationwide primetime television yeah and did a great job and uh briefly was talking about our silly little one of those situations where you're on like mainstream media lamestream media and you've got to try and contextualize why you might be remotely interesting to fucking greg in gray mouth yeah um which really is an exercise in futility for anyone who's watching TV in 2021. They're not our people. Can I just say as another insert into this sidebar, I told the guy, so one of the hosts called me up the day before
Starting point is 00:21:34 and said, hey, are you free to come on just as a guest? Is that Matty? Yeah. You shout Matty out. He's a mate of ours, Matty McLean. Matty McLean. And I said, yeah, sure thing. And he said, have you been writing?
Starting point is 00:21:43 And I said, oh, not really. Sometimes I get struck by a bolt of inspiration. I write it down, but I'll make sure I got something ready. I'll make sure I've got a joke. And then totally forgot I'd said that at all. And then live on TV, he's like, so have you got a joke for us, guy? And I didn't. And it was like sheer panic set in.
Starting point is 00:22:04 And then the joke I did, i had to go into my phone notes and find something i'd written down the joke i did say was the the very joke that i think the only person i'd said to before was you because i thought of it when i was walking to your house to have a beer in the sun um joke's a strong word by the way it's a it's a it's a strong word, by the way. It's a good premise. It is a premise. What is a premise if not a joke? Well, it's the start of a joke. It is one part of a joke. Agree to disagree. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:22:36 You don't want to share that premise on this podcast? Oh, sure thing. I say, oh, I tell you he's confident that I do well in adversity and that is people who have never experienced adversity. And I say that from a position of knowledge. And God willing, I'll never have to find out. It's funny when I say it on TV. Oh, yeah, I'm reading an email.
Starting point is 00:23:03 As much as every guest agreed that it's not punching down, the fact, I have heard, I'm going to keep reading this, but this does seem very familiar. The fact that you even thought to ask the question gives me the real answer. The Asian Mama Mexican Kids series was very funny and presented some great concepts and introspection, but I don't know if I can do it again.
Starting point is 00:23:21 The worst idea, Schneiderverse crossover, is maybe too dark for me. Fascist Buddhist narcissism is too much. Things that stand out immediately on the second run through, though. This has got to be familiar for you too, right, guys? Yeah, this is familiar. We read this recently. We did.
Starting point is 00:23:35 I'm going to keep going, though. Are you? Yeah, I am. All the things I associated with each season. Oh, no, I'm not. It's too familiar. It's literally too familiar. We've definitely heard it.
Starting point is 00:23:45 I was on Rob Schneider's Instagram. How'd that go for you, mate? Yesterday. Well, he's on tour with Jamie Lasso. Oh, really? Yeah, they're on tour at the moment. Wow. And I'll tell you the name of the tour.
Starting point is 00:24:01 And he's posting like, I mean, it's his Instagram. And you know what? People are allowed to post whatever they want. But he's posting like i mean it's his instagram and you know what people are allowed to post whatever they want but he's posting garbage it's called the um i have issues tour and uh he's recently played in penascola florida and montgomery alabama but the last one i saw was like a day ago. It was him. He looks so stoned. And he's like with Jamie in the car. Rob does.
Starting point is 00:24:36 And they're talking about like how you can trick a valet by not giving them your keys. And it's not funny. And they both just look tired. What do you mean trick a valet by not giving them your keys? Don't ask me, dude. It's not my premise. Okay. Do you think that Rob Schneidervalley by not giving them your pick? Don't ask me, dude. It's not my premise, okay? Do you think that Rob Schneider on this tour is going to catch COVID? Because I...
Starting point is 00:24:50 Although he's a slippery fish. It wouldn't surprise me for him to be publicly anti-vax, but then quietly go and get himself sorted out. Yeah. Honestly, Tim, I don't know. Me neither, man. I don't know what to tell you. Me neither. I've got a little piece I don't know what to tell you. Me neither.
Starting point is 00:25:05 I've got a little piece of correspondence that is up to the minute. This was received yesterday. Hi, Frosty Fellas. I'm sure many people will have mentioned this, but there is a pleasing symmetry to your choice of film. The titular star of Carry On, Emmanuel, actress Susan Daniel, is married to golfer sam torrence and he supposedly proposed to her on board a concord flight loving the work keep going i think that during that period of time
Starting point is 00:25:38 when concord was going concord touched every facet of people's lives it was a cultural phenomenon it was an engineering feat, unrivaled at the time it was the height of luxury it was an aspirational goal that people could try and work their way towards, it's like if I can really crack this small business idea maybe one day I will be
Starting point is 00:26:00 riding on a supersonic passenger jet from Paris to New York City. Oh, God. I'd love to go to Gay Paddy. Especially on a Concorde, right? Yeah. Mark 2?
Starting point is 00:26:15 Yeah. Sounds good. Anyway, this from Dennis with one N, who actually in the body of the email has not said anything about saying their name or not but you know, there's a lot of Dennis's out there if you can pick which one it is, I say congrats to you I think there's only one Dennis who spells their name with one N
Starting point is 00:26:33 Dugan? The great Dennis Dugan He's surely a two N'er Hi, just writing to say I started listening to season two of the worst idea of all time a day or two ago, having listened to Death Blart at some point over the last year. Ah, how relevant.
Starting point is 00:26:50 It's currently 3.05am, so I'm writing this in Dublin, and I'm up at a shitty collapsible desk in my parents' front hall in full view through the glass doors of anyone out on the empty street, translating sentences badly from Old irish to english for an assignment that i should have started last week with episode with episode eight your monte cristo live show in the background oh shit remember that yeah as i vaguely uh outline whose sword is striking what to clarify tomorrow in time for submission I just thought it was a bizarre set of circumstances to be working on a language,
Starting point is 00:27:27 a couple of centuries out of date, listening to ye old, to ye talk about swans in the middle of a global pandemic. I found it entertaining and thought you might too, or maybe it's just a 3.13 AM and I wanted to express my appreciation. Now there's a sentence right here, here guy that looks like it's in you know old irish or gaelic or something i couldn't possibly tell how to pronounce it so i will i will apply english phonics to these characters godspeed go rabba mile maith a gate
Starting point is 00:28:06 probably means say my name or yeah or maybe it means do not say my name punishable upon death either would be fine what's that effect with one in um um lovely to hear from ireland i've got a i've got a big one here in the uh what do you think of old irish do you think that's gaelic or do you think it's something else something cool we haven't even heard of to speculate but no no no no guy that's where you're wrong you are never too ignorant to speculate thanks for emboldening me tim i think we're going to have a lot more opinions from now on it's i think you should stop stop talking about them like they're different it's gaelic it's gaelic it's a dying language give up on it ireland
Starting point is 00:28:52 oh so you want people to make sure they say the name of it but also do not try and revive it look all i know is that you emboldened me and i immediately regretted having any confidence in saying anything. But I have confidence. Oh, guy. You're in a safe space, mate. I've got confidence in this message I'm going to read out. We received it on August the 22nd on Twitter.
Starting point is 00:29:15 At Twiowatpod. Hey, frosty fellas. First off. Oh, Gaelic Scottish. I've really fucking screwed the pitch on this one. Gaelic is applicable to various different highlands. I believe there's Irish Gaelic and Welsh Gaelic. There's something called Standard Irish.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Maybe that's what's going on. First off, congratulations, Tim, on the forthcoming child. But for the love of all that is holy and for the sanity of you, Zoe, congratulations, Tim, on the forthcoming child. But for the love of all that is holy, and for the sanity of you, Zoe, and your child, please do not do another season for at least a year. Nah. We'll all miss you. But that would be pure chaos.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Nah. Secondably, I was relistening to old episodes of the show and spotted something that never came up in season two. I know I'm years late and we don't need more proof that these four harpies are completely self-absorbed liars, but oh well. When going for lunch in the desert, Carrie bemoans that she isn't dressed for camels
Starting point is 00:30:21 and Miranda replies, I've brought a whole outfit change and abdul picked the outfits yeah that in fact if memory serves don't worry she says abdul i had abdul pick out the outfits well here's what this this this writer has to say that miranda is utter horse shit oh i can say with absolute certainty that she didn't carry them so if she didn't carry them or choose the outfit then you did sweet fuck all miranda all you did was tell someone else to do something for you there is a great bill burr bit about this about the late asshole steve Steve Jobs. And it's
Starting point is 00:31:05 a fantastic bit and a great demonstration of this point. Steve Jobs wasn't some fucking great guy everyone thinks. He's just telling people what to do. He's telling engineers pinch in, out, big, small, big, small. If you're a YouTuber, it's Bill Burr, Night of Too Many Stars. It's one
Starting point is 00:31:22 of the all-time great shorter sets online. Same thing with Miranda, though. There is some value, maybe not value, it's sort of a value or a quality in being able to wrangle people. I'll continue. He said, God damn, in frustration. Okay, thank you. Anyways, had to get that off my chest
Starting point is 00:31:46 Hope you're both well It seems Corona's meddling around near you guys again So I hope you stay safe Love, Carl O'Callaghan P.S. Don't say my name Did the girls ask Abdul to pick out the outfits Because they assume he's gay
Starting point is 00:32:00 Therefore good at fashion Way to be woke, mattress pikelet P.P.S. Sorry sorry at the end of the episode you ask for a review and haiku so here goes Tim and Guy are boys from New Zealand who are good at making us all laugh
Starting point is 00:32:17 I'm sorry I mangled the rhythm but I think you got the idea we sure did excuse me Guy I've got breaking news for you fuck Sorry, I mangled the rhythm, but I think you got the idea. We sure did. Excuse me, Guy, I've got breaking news for you. Fuck. On the 20th of June this year, a person called Hillary sent us 100 US dollars as a donation.
Starting point is 00:32:39 That is staggering. The message is brief. It reads thusly, Tim and Guy, I should have made a donation a long time ago. This is overdue. I'm so glad that you are out there and in my life. Thanks for being brave enough to do this. Wishing you all the best, Hillary. Now, receiving a message like that out of,
Starting point is 00:32:58 I'm going to read it again. Imagine you don't know who we are. You don't know what the podcast is. You don't even know we do a podcast. I'll read the message again. Forget all that stuff. Guy's closed his eyes to put himself in this new possible reality. Tim and Guy, I should have made this.
Starting point is 00:33:15 I should have made a donation a long time ago. This is overdue. I'm so glad you are out there and in my life. Thanks for being brave enough to do this. Wishing you all the best, Hillary. Of the list of the first thousand things that I would think of to attribute a $100 donation and platitudes of us being brave, doing a dumbass movie review podcast that doesn't even properly review movies wouldn't make the list
Starting point is 00:33:46 i like it i like the letter i like that it's vague i like that you could change the names at the top of it and give it to pretty much anyone in your life uh and they would interpret it you know they would internalize and interpret it with respect to whatever bravery or support they're offering that person i'd like to see it printed in plain text or perhaps rendered as though written in blood on a T-shirt or a poster. Thank you for the money. Thank you for the letter. Thank you for the encouragement.
Starting point is 00:34:16 Thank you for your time. Thanks, Hilary. Yeah, thanks, Hilary. And I'd say I reckon thanks to everyone. I'm going to call it, Tim. Okay. Fair enough. because I have just struck I've struck an email that is girthy so maybe we'll leave that
Starting point is 00:34:32 for the next one why don't we open with that next time and it's just like it's such a gorgeous day and I I'm scantily clad are you well stand up friend you're on video not by modern standards but seasonally And I'm scantily clad. Are you? Well. Stand up, friend. You're on video.
Starting point is 00:34:46 Not by modern standards, but seasonally. Guy's now standing up. He is in very short shorts. And there's a lot of leg, folks. A lot of leg on the webcam. No socks, no shoes. Love that for you. I will get out there and enjoy the sunshine.
Starting point is 00:35:05 You know I like to podcast barefoot, right? It's called earthing yourself. Yeah, that's what that is. Get a bit of radiation on you, mate, and enjoy it. I may do the same. I'm going to get out of this suit, out of this formal wear, perhaps enjoy a beer on my deck and give my son Remy a big hug. Oh, my God. I'm so happy for you i love that man
Starting point is 00:35:26 um good time love to you tim love to you one listener um yeah thanks one last remain steadfast in your views that people are their own responsibility and the state can keep their hands off my money exactly the ultimate goal that we're all striving towards, and I want everyone to remember this, the sole mission of the worst idea of all time is to establish a government that is small enough to crush under a boot. That's what we're all here to do. So we'll catch you on the next
Starting point is 00:35:55 episode. And bye Guy. Bye. Bye Tim. Bye Libertarian listener. bye guy bye bye tim bye libertarian listener

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