The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone 136
Episode Date: October 29, 2021All dressed up and nowhere to go, Tim and Guy have prepared and braced themselves to record their annual episode of Till Death Do Us Blart (aka Death Blart), only for the McElroy brothers to not show ...up. That leaves Tim in a beautiful suit and Guy dressed head to toe in hemp, with nothing to do but shoot the shit and check in on their friends. The boys discuss the future direction of the podcast post-Emmanuelle and many wish Tim hearty congratulations on his beautiful baby Remy, with some even going so far as to ask him to stop podcasting for a year (not happening!) George Lazenby is writing letters to the editor and fellaz discover that many months ago a woman named Hillary donated $100 accompanied by a delightfully inspiring note.DEATHBLART: (tilldeathdousblart.com)SUPPORT US ON PATREON: (patreon.com/TWIOAT)JOIN US ON FACEBOOK: (facebook.com/WorstIdeaOfAllTime)VISIT THE LITTLE EMPIRE PODCAST NETWORK: (littleempirepodcasts.com)MUSIC CREDIT: Tender Moonlight (facebook.com/TenderMoonlight)ART CREDIT: Tomas Cottle (sick-days.com) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to the friendzone, in the friendzone, you're always home, in the friendzone, you're not alone, anytime, with Tim and Guy.
Hello everybody and welcome to the friendzone. I'm going to turn my video on now, Guy.
Oh!
Why don't you turn the light on? on oh that makes me feel so sad oh no oh tim we were ready so um we're potentially blowing up the
mackleroy's spot right now and uh revealing a little behind thethe-curtain movie magic of how the sausage gets made vis-Ã -vis death blart.
But we were supposed to record with those brave McElroy boys today,
and they just didn't show up.
They're supposed to be here now.
So we thought, why don't we turn it into a friend zone opportunity?
That's right.
We didn't schedule aggressively enough.
They are in America. Yep. Family men. Why don't we turn it into a friend zone opportunity? That's right. We didn't schedule aggressively enough.
They are in America.
Yep.
Family men.
Yep.
Successful men.
Yes.
And not in lockdown.
All of these things are true.
And so I suppose that means that we'll just have a little bit more profanity in emails moving forwards.
Do you think that will help get them on the line or is that just something we've earned
or what's the rationale?
I don't think that we've earned it and I don't think it's more likely to get them on the
line.
But when I say we need to schedule more aggressively, that was the first solution that came to mind.
Now, the reason I said Tim looks or makes me feel sad is that while we were in the lobby the podcasting
waiting room uh tim had his camera off and i thought that's unusual but it's actually not
super unusual because sometimes if you've got a lot of people on the line everyone has their video
off so that um the internet moves faster and you avoid lag. But then as soon as we started recording this little friend zone,
Tim turned his video on and revealed that he is in a very dapper,
grey, three-piece suit with a white, crisp white dress shirt
and a perfectly tied pink bow tie to top it all off.
The man looks a million bucks.
He was ready like
oh that shit breaks my heart ma'am this reminds me of when i was uh probably seven or eight and
i was playing a game of cricket and my mum and my little sister were coming to watch me play cricket
and i don't actually remember the outcome of the game i don't know if we'd won or lost very
efficiently but i remember like i was just packing up my stuff as they arrived to watch the game.
And, like, Mom had packed some sandwiches and drinks
and my little sister had, like, brought, like,
all these crayons and this coloring and stuff.
And, like, they'd made such an effort to come and, you know,
be a part of the experience for me and enjoy it for themselves.
And I just felt so guilty that as they arrived,
everyone else was leaving.
And this has that, that like there's a it gives me a feeling deep in the pit of my stomach which is um it's just i guess i don't know if sadness is right but it's just like you know
it's so nice to make an effort and really turn something into something more well i'll never do
it again good Good to know.
It takes but a moment to pop a suit back on.
I'm just looking for any excuse to get dressed up at the moment.
I put on my own version of formal wear.
A red T-shirt and a hemp hat.
100% hemp.
Nice.
Yeah.
Very formal.
You look great as well, Guy.
Can I say that?
It's nice to do video, isn't it?
It is nice to do video, and it's nice to be with a friend.
It's nice to expect.
I mean, the flip side of the situation, it's nice to expect one thing,
then all of a sudden do another.
This is a more informal affair.
This is breezier.
This is a casual catch-up amongst close confidants.
How many Cs was that for?
catch-up amongst close confidants how many c's was that four have you been going a bit crazy a bit stir crazy in your house guy well that's one way of putting it tim we've been here i think for
nine ten weeks not a world record but long enough that it feels long yeah no world record although i think our conditions
have been a bit more stringent than anywhere else so like when we say we're locked down we
we kind of mean it you know yeah brother we are locked the heck down we are locked down however
um our glorious leader did allow us to under very specific circumstances visit our
have visitors and visit our
friends as long as it's outdoors
and so Guy has
seen me twice
he's seen
little Remy, he's enjoyed the
company of an infant. I have
and I've not picked the infant
up and that is
this is the most mild version of the unusual circumstances
we find ourselves in, but it is interesting to observe
that it is definitely in human nature,
more especially when it's someone's baby who you know,
but you do want to pick up the baby you want
to hold the baby you want to hold a baby you want to kiss the crown of the baby's head and smell
the baby's scalp uh i don't know why that is but it is what it is and tim by the way everyone
because there was a pause earlier in the podcast and you all probably thought oh no guys pause
because he's unprofessional the reason i paused is that tim somehow set up a picture in
picture on his camera where just his face was in a little square and it was really close up oh could
you see that yes and now he's he's fiddling around with an incredibly high definition camera and
zooming it in on himself slowly why wouldn't you i mean it's just another example of the lengths that you've gone to for, I guess,
the idea of this year's seventh annual Blartcast.
Yeah, I did the count up as well.
Seven's a lot, eh, of anything to have.
Well, yeah, but that's a different conversation for a different day.
I guess that is correct.
So to the friend zone, I guess, guys.
So we're in an interesting situation with the podcast.
What's happening with Worst Idea right now?
In real time, we have watched, what was that last one?
We watched Carry On, Emmanuel.
Oh, that's right.
Yes, Carry On.
Carry On, Emmanuel is what I was going to say.
Well, I did name that episode Carry On, on guy and tim which is sort of similar and that we do and we've done that
one and then we said it might be the last one but it's actually not someone has sent me the link
which might be possible to watch the willy wonka made in japan emmanuel sex and chocolate of course they
have um but the thing is guy the the sort of hesitancy or the trouble that i've faced with
that one is this um we've got a situation whereby both the websites where i can rent that are
entirely in japanese and for some usually Chrome gives you an option to
translate the website into
English but that wasn't available
so it's just
I can't read Japanese, unfortunately
hopefully one day I'll get there
Hey Tim, try harder
dude, literally
it's just shapes
yeah, they're real characters
and a lot of people can read Japanese, so why can't I?
The system works for them.
What it means, Guy, dear Guy Montgomery,
is that I would be handing my credit card details over to a website
that I can't get any kind of a read on whatsoever.
Like, I just, I don't know, yeah, what to do with that.
It seems bad. It seems like a bad idea so maybe i should buy it like a
prezi card which is like a prepaid visa and that way they can't they can't fuck you up they can
they can yeah they can only take from you to the value of however much money is on the prezi card
exactamundo sensible fix uh so we will either watch that or failing that we will be watching uh george
lazenby's masterpiece which i'm very excited for uh on her majesty's secret service and somewhere
amongst either those one or two screenings uh we will conclude this exhausting sort of aspirationally horny but just
abysmally flaccid
softcore season
and
I
we haven't got anything lined up for
for afterwards
well that's not necessarily, not immediately afterwards
but we do have a project that we were working
on before we got plunged into lockdown.
Now, Tim, have you noticed that everyone likes to say
that they get plunged into lockdown?
Have you noticed that the news media often say plunged?
No, the news is for sickos, mate.
I don't watch the news anymore.
They're not saying it so much lately,
but I'm surprised you didn't notice it.
Sometimes they say something was plunged into chaos
or was plunged into turmoil. Sure, I've heard that, but I haven surprised you didn't notice that sometimes they say something was plunged into chaos or was plunged into turmoil.
Sure, I've heard that, but I haven't heard plunged into lockdown.
Personally, I just like to plunge into a pool.
I mean, what's wrong with your common noun that is a pool?
Good on you, Guy.
Thanks, Tim.
But basically, we'd started working on an exciting new...
Well, I was genuinely...
I find it strange that you would put that
we don't have something to go on afterwards.
I would say we absolutely do.
Yeah, I more mean immediately.
Well, we kind of do if we want.
We might take a little breather to,
um,
give us ourselves,
you know,
give me a moment to,
to maybe eat it a couple of things together.
Yeah.
And,
and,
um,
yeah.
And spend some time with Remy.
Yeah.
But it's like,
you know,
it's not a salt mine or a,
or a coal mine.
I don't have to like,
no fucking grab a pickaxe and no all the
coal mines are closed uh were that true well i don't mean for environmental reasons i mean because
of the lockdown oh no actually we're in level three the coal mines are back open i don't even
fucking know anyway listen guy the mailbag It's why we're here
But I'm enjoying this sort of long-winded
And deliberately vague preamble
As I'm sure our listener is not
Well, I'm curtailing it
So have you got mail for me, Big Papa?
Yeah, I love it
Big man on campus
I love it when I call you Big Papa
This is from...
Oi, can you please, right now, put your hands in the air
if you're a real player.
Guy did it.
Let the record show.
Guy has both hands in the air.
I'm a real player.
Now, this is just a screenshot of...
I'm going to take this jacket off. I feel ridiculous. I don't know what it's from, but it's a screenshot of... I'm going to take this jacket off.
I feel ridiculous.
I don't know what it's from, but it's a screenshot,
and it says,
how come James Bond never rips the arse of his trousers?
That is such a good question.
You'd have to think that James Bond knows by this stage.
He's been in the game for like 70 60 years i think
so you'd have to say by this stage the man probably knows um roughly what's about to happen
to him he's going to be into some physical hijack so he's got some sort of like spandex blend
you know like a high grade cotton with spandex or something rayon i love rayon um
the the the screenshot of like it's like a sort of letter to the editor type thing but the font
and the sort of colorway suggests it's in some sort of either gossip or maybe movie mag
but i'll keep reading how does james bond never rip the out of his trousers? Since Daniel Craig took over the role,
he always wears those really tight suits.
And what with all the jumping off balconies and fights he has,
you'd expect to see a bit of ass cheek hanging out occasionally.
Unless Q has devised some kind of super strong stitching thread,
in which case they should make some kind of reference to it in the script.
And the letter is credited to Georgeorge lazenby from gateshead
it would be so mean if that if that really was george lazenby just gets bored and writes
that's like what he's up to these days he just writes letters to the editor about all the
problems he's got with the daniel craig it's such a franchise it's such a fun little um gag to credit like you
know like to write letters to the editor under different names and can i tell you tim this is
such a specific one but it never fails to amuse me and to understand it you have to have a very
specific knowledge of uh new zealand criminal history or certain parts of it, and cricket.
Have I mentioned this on the podcast before?
Not to my knowledge.
But basically, there's a great website
if you're a cricket fan called ESPN Cricket Info.
And it's like, if you can't watch the game,
it's the most like dedicated for any specific sport.
It's the most dedicated website I've seen
where they give you very like precise
and descriptive ball-by-ball commentary of every ball in a cricket match.
It could be a T20, which is the shortest format.
It could be a test match, which lasts for five days.
And they've got a rotor of different commentators who sub in, and they just commentate the game
as you're going for fans who can't watch the game for whatever reason.
And as part of this experience, they also have a whole you know an army a bank of users
like you know punters who just write occasional comments and like the commentator will occasionally
pull one out and respond to it like you know people are speculating about whatever and whenever
new zealand plays cricket games there's always a user who is uh writes under the name Mark Lundy.
And he's always talking about how he has to go on a drive,
a three-hour drive,
but he's hoping he can make it there in time for the last ball.
Oh, boy.
That is funny if you are in the Venn diagram of... well basically if you're a new zealander mark lundy was a murderer everybody and i think we put him away and one of the crucial pieces of
evidence was whether or not he could um it was possibly have made a drive it was possible to
drive from one place to another in under three hours and like to the point that it became like
a hobby amongst amongst just regular people
to try and do it.
Yeah.
A lot of speeding tickets have been generated,
I think by the,
it was called the Lundy 500.
Yeah.
Anyhow.
You gotta say handy because otherwise it doesn't rhyme.
Yeah.
Um,
any,
anyhow,
that's all by the by.
Uh,
so lovely,
lovely screenshot.
Thank you.
I love like we are a repository for all sorts of insane miscellanea
pertaining to things that we've covered.
Guy, we are essentially at this point a suppository of pop culture
and knowledge about the enterprises that we choose to interface with,
whereby people say, hey, why don't we shove this up the asses of tim and guy
and our asses gratefully receive all of this information when they gobble it up yeah our
hungry little bums go ahead tim jim writes just in case i'm the first to point this out oh this
is just a technical one apparently we're too quiet on Spotify
And the ads are very loud
Is that fixable?
Not really
We do our best
There's a thing called
Loudness normalisation
Which I put to
Negative 19 luffs
For the real gearheads out there
because I think that's Apple's
Apple iTunes standard
for compressing the audio correctly
and pretty much if Apple says something
everyone else follows it so
don't know what to tell you Jim
we're trying our best but
to all of our Spotify listeners
who get the ads I do apologise for the
discrepancy in the ass-blasting volume.
That really sucks for you.
It is.
And if you pay for Spotify Premium, you still get podcast ads.
No.
Do you?
I don't listen to podcasts on Spotify.
Do you know why?
At all.
You don't.
And I don't either, but sometimes I do and you don't. I was thinking of
Pocket Casts, which is what I use.
Yeah, same. It's a good
app. Shout out.
What is this friend
zone? Do you like it?
What? This friend zone?
No. Don't you?
No, I don't. Well, I think I was all
geared up to do a deathblast. You know
what I mean? I see.
So I'm dealing with the letdown.
I knew it. It's great to hang out with you.
Don't get me wrong.
No, no, no.
You're fine.
I'll read like a more traditional fucking friendzone message
to try and lighten your spirits, you bag of shit.
All right.
On Facebook at Worcester Devil Time.
Hello again, Tim and Guy.
Mostly there's a message for Tim today but i'll read it uh firstly
congrats on the baby thank you i'm sure if remy sees any percentage of the dedication you've put
into this podcast then he's going to have a great dad um and his smiley face i believe that's like
if remy experiences the same level of dedication not if remy witnesses it in becoming a podcast listener
yeah uh secondly are you aware of the subreddit reddit.com forward slash r forward slash
tim it's a sub dedicated solely to people called tim and making sure they're all having a good time
i personally came across it when i was browsing my name's equivalent, Tom.
Unfortunately, Tims and Toms have declared war on each other multiple times.
And there's been quite a lot of mud flinging back and forth between the two names.
And then there's a link to a post from r slash Tom,
which includes the sort of subheading, found a sign to vandalize, which I assume has the word Tim on it.
I just wanted to see if you're aware of these things going on
and to let you know that when things eventually come to blows,
I'll be very sad to see you go.
Anyway, thanks for the great pods as ever.
Keep up the great work, Tom.
Tom, you've underestimated us for the last time.
I've only just heard about the subreddit, but I'm joining the fray.
My favorite post that I'm seeing, though, scrolling through,
was posted a month ago, and it just says in the title,
I don't think so, and then body, Tim's.
And I would wager that most people listening to our podcast,
hopefully, are too young to get that reference to home improvement.
Wow.
But to you people, I say,
pretty good.
Yeah, it's a fun noise.
It's fun.
It is fun.
All right.
It's time for a message for Guy.
Oh.
It's actually to both of us,
but I just thought it should be inclusive because the last
one was mainly for me have sent this to twilight twitter and facebook not sure what gets read
not this stop reading it tim yeah it's kind of long too and it's also because i think it's been
copy and pasted into the email the formatting's's fucked up, so the text is tiny.
Let's give them what they want.
Let me try and zoom in so this is kind of readable.
Dear Gom and Bim, I've just finished my second listen-through of the first, second, third, fourth series.
Okay, I'm so glad that I did not shortchange this person by skipping over the correspondence because that is a lot of worst idea.
And also, do more.
And my week with cats.
I can't include the Rob Schneider stuff in the re-listens.
It's just too much.
Now, this sounds very familiar to me.
Can I just pause you and say I completely forgot we did Doolittle.
Same.
That's like not even on my radar of my life experience because you you've like uh what were
you on recently where you brought up my week with cats was it on breakfast tv it might have yeah i
think it was yeah yeah guy was on nationwide primetime television yeah and did a great job
and uh briefly was talking about our silly little
one of those situations where you're on like mainstream media lamestream media and you've
got to try and contextualize why you might be remotely interesting to fucking greg in gray
mouth yeah um which really is an exercise in futility for anyone who's watching TV in 2021. They're not our people.
Can I just say as another insert into this sidebar,
I told the guy, so one of the hosts called me up the day before
and said, hey, are you free to come on just as a guest?
Is that Matty?
Yeah.
You shout Matty out.
He's a mate of ours, Matty McLean.
Matty McLean.
And I said, yeah, sure thing.
And he said, have you been writing?
And I said, oh, not really.
Sometimes I get struck by a bolt of inspiration.
I write it down, but I'll make sure I got something ready.
I'll make sure I've got a joke.
And then totally forgot I'd said that at all.
And then live on TV, he's like, so have you got a joke for us, guy?
And I didn't.
And it was like sheer panic set in.
And then the joke I did, i had to go into my phone
notes and find something i'd written down the joke i did say was the the very joke that i think the
only person i'd said to before was you because i thought of it when i was walking to your house
to have a beer in the sun um joke's a strong word by the way it's a it's a it's a strong word, by the way. It's a good premise. It is a premise. What is a premise if not a joke?
Well, it's the start of a joke.
It is one part of a joke.
Agree to disagree.
Anyway.
You don't want to share that premise on this podcast?
Oh, sure thing.
I say, oh, I tell you he's confident that I do well in adversity
and that is people who have never experienced adversity.
And I say that from a position of knowledge.
And God willing, I'll never have to find out.
It's funny when I say it on TV.
Oh, yeah, I'm reading an email.
As much as every guest agreed that it's not punching down,
the fact, I have heard, I'm going to keep reading this,
but this does seem very familiar.
The fact that you even thought to ask the question
gives me the real answer.
The Asian Mama Mexican Kids series was very funny
and presented some great concepts and introspection,
but I don't know if I can do it again.
The worst idea, Schneiderverse crossover,
is maybe too dark for me.
Fascist Buddhist narcissism is too much.
Things that stand out immediately on the second run through, though.
This has got to be familiar for you too, right, guys?
Yeah, this is familiar.
We read this recently.
We did.
I'm going to keep going, though.
Are you?
Yeah, I am.
All the things I associated with each season.
Oh, no, I'm not.
It's too familiar.
It's literally too familiar.
We've definitely heard it.
I was on Rob Schneider's Instagram.
How'd that go for you, mate?
Yesterday.
Well, he's on tour with Jamie Lasso.
Oh, really?
Yeah, they're on tour at the moment.
Wow.
And I'll tell you the name of the tour.
And he's posting like, I mean, it's his Instagram. And you know what? People are allowed to post whatever they want. But he's posting like i mean it's his instagram and you know what people are allowed
to post whatever they want but he's posting garbage it's called the um i have issues tour
and uh he's recently played in penascola florida and montgomery alabama
but the last one i saw was like a day ago.
It was him.
He looks so stoned.
And he's like with Jamie in the car.
Rob does.
And they're talking about like how you can trick a valet by not giving them your keys.
And it's not funny.
And they both just look tired.
What do you mean trick a valet by not giving them your keys? Don't ask me, dude.
It's not my premise.
Okay. Do you think that Rob Schneidervalley by not giving them your pick? Don't ask me, dude. It's not my premise, okay?
Do you think that Rob Schneider on this tour is going to catch COVID?
Because I...
Although he's a slippery fish.
It wouldn't surprise me for him to be publicly anti-vax,
but then quietly go and get himself sorted out.
Yeah.
Honestly, Tim, I don't know.
Me neither, man.
I don't know what to tell you.
Me neither. I've got a little piece I don't know what to tell you. Me neither.
I've got a little piece of correspondence that is up to the minute.
This was received yesterday.
Hi, Frosty Fellas.
I'm sure many people will have mentioned this,
but there is a pleasing symmetry to your choice of film.
The titular star of Carry On, Emmanuel, actress Susan Daniel,
is married to golfer sam torrence and he supposedly proposed to
her on board a concord flight loving the work keep going i think that during that period of time
when concord was going concord touched every facet of people's lives it was a cultural phenomenon
it was an engineering feat, unrivaled at the time
it was the height of luxury
it was an aspirational goal
that people could try and work their way
towards, it's like if I can really
crack this small business idea
maybe one day I will be
riding on a supersonic
passenger jet from
Paris to New York City.
Oh, God.
I'd love to go to Gay Paddy.
Especially on a Concorde, right?
Yeah.
Mark 2?
Yeah.
Sounds good.
Anyway, this from Dennis with one N,
who actually in the body of the email has not said anything about saying their name or not
but you know, there's a lot of Dennis's out there
if you can pick which one it is, I say congrats to you
I think there's only one Dennis who spells their name
with one N
Dugan?
The great Dennis Dugan
He's surely a two N'er
Hi, just writing to say I started listening to
season two of the worst idea of all time
a day or two ago,
having listened to Death Blart at some point over the last year.
Ah, how relevant.
It's currently 3.05am, so I'm writing this in Dublin,
and I'm up at a shitty collapsible desk in my parents' front hall in full view
through the glass doors of anyone out on the empty street,
translating sentences badly from Old irish to english for an
assignment that i should have started last week with episode with episode eight your monte cristo
live show in the background oh shit remember that yeah as i vaguely uh outline whose sword is
striking what to clarify tomorrow in time for submission I just thought it was a bizarre set of circumstances to be working on a
language,
a couple of centuries out of date,
listening to ye old,
to ye talk about swans in the middle of a global pandemic.
I found it entertaining and thought you might too,
or maybe it's just a 3.13 AM and I wanted to express my appreciation.
Now there's a sentence right here, here guy that looks like it's in
you know old irish or gaelic or something i couldn't possibly tell how to pronounce it
so i will i will apply english phonics to these characters godspeed go rabba mile maith a gate
probably means say my name or yeah or maybe it means do not say my name punishable upon death
either would be fine what's that effect with one in um um lovely to hear from ireland i've got a
i've got a big one here in the uh
what do you think of old irish do you think that's gaelic or do you think it's something else
something cool we haven't even heard of to speculate but no no no no guy that's where
you're wrong you are never too ignorant to speculate thanks for emboldening me tim i think
we're going to have a lot more opinions from now on it's i think you should stop stop talking about
them like they're different it's gaelic it's gaelic it's a dying language give up on it ireland
oh so you want people to make sure they say the name of it but also do not try and revive it look
all i know is that you emboldened me and i immediately regretted having any confidence in
saying anything.
But I have confidence.
Oh, guy.
You're in a safe space, mate.
I've got confidence in this message I'm going to read out.
We received it on August the 22nd on Twitter.
At Twiowatpod.
Hey, frosty fellas.
First off.
Oh, Gaelic Scottish.
I've really fucking screwed the pitch on this one.
Gaelic is applicable to various different highlands.
I believe there's Irish Gaelic and Welsh Gaelic.
There's something called Standard Irish.
Maybe that's what's going on.
First off, congratulations, Tim, on the forthcoming child.
But for the love of all that is holy and for the sanity of you, Zoe, congratulations, Tim, on the forthcoming child. But for the love of all that is holy,
and for the sanity of you, Zoe, and your child,
please do not do another season for at least a year.
Nah.
We'll all miss you.
But that would be pure chaos.
Nah.
Secondably, I was relistening to old episodes of the show
and spotted something that never came up in season two.
I know I'm years late and we don't need more proof
that these four harpies are completely self-absorbed liars,
but oh well.
When going for lunch in the desert,
Carrie bemoans that she isn't dressed for camels
and Miranda replies,
I've brought a whole outfit change and abdul picked the
outfits yeah that in fact if memory serves don't worry she says abdul i had abdul pick out the
outfits well here's what this this this writer has to say that miranda is utter horse shit
oh i can say with absolute certainty that she didn't carry them
so if she didn't carry them or choose the outfit then you did sweet fuck all miranda all you did
was tell someone else to do something for you there is a great bill burr bit about this about
the late asshole steve Steve Jobs. And it's
a fantastic bit and a great demonstration
of this point. Steve Jobs
wasn't some fucking
great guy everyone thinks. He's just telling
people what to do. He's telling engineers
pinch in, out, big, small, big, small.
If you're a YouTuber, it's
Bill Burr, Night of Too Many Stars. It's one
of the all-time great shorter sets online.
Same thing with Miranda, though.
There is some value, maybe not value,
it's sort of a value or a quality in being able to wrangle people.
I'll continue.
He said, God damn, in frustration.
Okay, thank you.
Anyways, had to get that off my chest
Hope you're both well
It seems Corona's meddling around near you guys again
So I hope you stay safe
Love, Carl O'Callaghan
P.S.
Don't say my name
Did the girls ask Abdul to pick out the outfits
Because they assume he's gay
Therefore good at fashion
Way to be woke, mattress pikelet
P.P.S. Sorry sorry at the end of the episode
you ask for a review and haiku
so here goes
Tim and Guy are boys
from New Zealand who are good
at making us all laugh
I'm sorry
I mangled the rhythm but
I think you got the idea
we sure did
excuse me Guy I've got breaking news for you fuck Sorry, I mangled the rhythm, but I think you got the idea. We sure did.
Excuse me, Guy, I've got breaking news for you.
Fuck.
On the 20th of June this year, a person called Hillary sent us 100 US dollars as a donation.
That is staggering.
The message is brief.
It reads thusly, Tim and Guy, I should have made a donation a long time ago.
This is overdue.
I'm so glad that you are out there and in my life.
Thanks for being brave enough to do this.
Wishing you all the best, Hillary.
Now, receiving a message like that out of,
I'm going to read it again.
Imagine you don't know who we are.
You don't know what the podcast is.
You don't even know we do a podcast.
I'll read the message again.
Forget all that stuff.
Guy's closed his eyes to put himself in this new possible reality.
Tim and Guy, I should have made this.
I should have made a donation a long time ago.
This is overdue. I'm so glad you are out there and in my life.
Thanks for being brave enough to do this.
Wishing you all the best, Hillary.
Of the list of the first thousand things that I would think of
to attribute a $100 donation and platitudes of us being brave,
doing a dumbass movie review podcast that doesn't even properly review movies
wouldn't make the list
i like it i like the letter i like that it's vague i like that you could change the names
at the top of it and give it to pretty much anyone in your life uh and they would interpret it you
know they would internalize and interpret it with respect to whatever bravery or support they're
offering that person i'd like to see it printed in plain text or perhaps rendered
as though written in blood on a T-shirt or a poster.
Thank you for the money.
Thank you for the letter.
Thank you for the encouragement.
Thank you for your time.
Thanks, Hilary.
Yeah, thanks, Hilary.
And I'd say I reckon thanks to everyone.
I'm going to call it, Tim.
Okay. Fair enough. because I have just struck
I've struck an email that is
girthy so maybe we'll leave that
for the next one why don't we open with that next time
and it's just like
it's such a gorgeous
day and I
I'm scantily clad
are you well
stand up friend you're on video not by modern standards but seasonally And I'm scantily clad. Are you? Well. Stand up, friend.
You're on video.
Not by modern standards, but seasonally.
Guy's now standing up.
He is in very short shorts.
And there's a lot of leg, folks.
A lot of leg on the webcam.
No socks, no shoes.
Love that for you.
I will get out there and enjoy the sunshine.
You know I like to podcast barefoot, right?
It's called earthing yourself.
Yeah, that's what that is.
Get a bit of radiation on you, mate, and enjoy it.
I may do the same.
I'm going to get out of this suit, out of this formal wear,
perhaps enjoy a beer on my deck and give my son Remy a big hug.
Oh, my God. I'm so happy for you i love that man
um good time love to you tim love to you one listener um yeah thanks one last remain steadfast
in your views that people are their own responsibility and the state can keep their
hands off my money exactly the ultimate goal that we're all striving towards, and I want everyone to remember this, the sole mission
of the worst idea of all time is to
establish a government that is
small enough to crush under a boot.
That's what we're all here
to do. So we'll catch you on the next
episode.
And
bye Guy.
Bye.
Bye Tim. Bye Libertarian
listener. bye guy bye bye tim bye libertarian listener