The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone 140
Episode Date: January 14, 2022BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: We're launching Killionaire TV so submit your entry if you'd like to participant at worstideaofalltime.com Aspiring Tall Comedian Tim and Confirmed Tall Man Guy Montgomery (aka Mr an...d Mr Worldwide) have been back on the stand up comedy tools and want to go bowling. Ten pin? Lawn? No time for that because Mort has sent music that we cannot hear, an American has sent $40 of their dollars and a listener has bestowed the fellaz with PhDs.Website: worstideaofalltime.comTwitter: twitter.com/twioatpodPatreon: patreon.com/TWIOAT Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Discussion (0)
Welcome to the friendzone, in the friendzone, you're always home, in the friendzone, you're not alone, anytime, with Tim and Guy.
Listen up everyone, it's Twitter spaces, what does that even mean? It's Twitter spaces. What is Twitter spaces?
Twitter spaces? What does that even mean?
It's Twitter spaces. What is Twitter spaces? Tim, I just downloaded
Twitter to log onto my
phone for this very conversation. Not
this conversation, but this friend zone.
Hi everyone. And that's what it said.
They said it's Twitter spaces.
There was a pop-up ad for
a Twitter feature. It said it's Twitter spaces.
Listen to real...
It was like radio, Twitter radio.
It was like, listen to real live audio conversations.
Oh, like a podcast?
But live.
Yeah.
Is it live streaming audio?
Which, Tim, is radio.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
But you also sound like a fucking old man because you don't get it.
I do get it.
I get that it's 8.25 a.m. on a Thursday morning.
I'm at Tim's house and we've both got a steaming hot cup of java.
This is radio.
You know what I say?
First coffee, then adulting.
And I'll drink to that.
Guy just steal a cheers for that because I did not readily give one.
Here on Twio at FM. morning show, Tim and Guy.
Yeah.
It would be too hard to do.
I remember doing breakfast radio.
It was hard, man.
You worked as a –
I wasn't on air when I did breakfast.
You were a young man producing for legendary radio breakfast host Ian Black.
Kevin Black. Ian Black.
Kevin Black. Kevin Black.
Ian Stables later.
Yes, that's right.
You've been around the traps of all sort of matter of New Zealand.
Broadcasters.
Shock jocks.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I have in a way.
Except a few prominent ones I never worked with.
Wow, you can't catch them all
Not everyone can be
Ash
Catch him
But
It's not
You know
You're out of that now
You're a podcast man
And you're a comedian
We did a
Stand-up comedy show
Together last night
Yeah we did a show together
That was fun wasn't it
It was a lot of fun
It was quite nerve wracking
Because everyone's been
Off the tools
For so long because of
all the lockdowns and stuff and Christmas and New Year's and, uh, yeah, it was, it was,
it was very nerve wracking.
It had a bit of a shaky start, but I'm glad you stuck around to see me open the second
half of the show.
Cause that went a bit better.
It was funny.
I didn't, I don't even know that I truly absorbed you opening the first half of the show because
I was, um, I was in my own head one night.
I was getting my own things ready.
Getting your gear ready.
I tried to write down a set.
Oh, thank you.
You smashed it.
Wow.
That was all not luck because, you know, obviously I'm in control to an extent.
But I couldn't think of any jokes to write down.
And you set me up for that you
made the microphone too high and i introduced you as a very tall comedian that's right and that is a
great point of pride for me one of the tallest on the scene yeah who rivals you who bests you
guy williams melanie bracewell two of the taller comics but you know we've got our own little clubs
and that's true yeah i feel like you'll gravitate toward you know, we've got our own little clubs That's true Yeah, I feel like you'll gravitate toward, you know, things you'd expect
Like basketball
Yeah, yeah, we've got our meetings
And, you know, we talk about who might be allowed to join us, etc
If we're going to make allowances for anyone under six foot
I like that we've adopted a slightly silky tone for this
And I think it's a combination of three things
Number one, it's early
Yes Number two, I think my baby's trying to sleep in the very next room Hell yeah tone for this and i think it's a combination of three things number one it's early yes number two
um i think my baby's trying to sleep in the very next room hell yeah we're trying to be respectful
of that and number three um we're on some uh new audio gear in it oh i've got it up quite loud so
you probably do you notice that like it's really blasting oh and so does that mean that i'm actually
like shout unnecessarily Which is something I do
You don't
You project
I get told off by a lot of the important people
In my life
Because I don't adjust my speaking volume
Dad
When we go out for meals
He always does this
He puts his hands out in front of his face
And does a very intense
Almost Ross Geller gesture,
but without the sort of passive-aggressive condescension,
more just like the firm, like, lower your volume.
He does it to me and my little sister, and we hate it.
Yeah, I'll bet.
And then if I don't shut the doors in the house
when I'm podcasting at home, Chelsea says,
you've got to shut those doors.
What's the Joe Rogan thing? Shut the gate think he's that's at the start of his show does he say that yeah it's like
it's someone else it's like a little clip i still haven't listened to a single episode of the joe
rogan experience so point of personal pride i'm monty i've not experienced joe rogan i will i will
you tell me the episode man i'll i'll get into it i'll tell you the episode actually
paul stamets who's that this guy he's just like crazy about mushrooms oh yeah all kinds of
mushrooms yeah he um his origin story is pretty whack i think he was like young like a young
teenager and did a bunch of magic you told me do you know what you've told me about this very guy
he did too many well what is way too many widely very guy He did too many Widely regarded
Medically regarded as too many mushrooms
Honestly if you're under
I'm a fan of mushrooms but if I would say
I'm not a fucking expert but just in my personal opinion
If you're under 21
Or have any concerns about your mental health
You probably should avoid them
But if you don't and you're older
Go ballistic
Yeah yeah Well you know we could shoot
the breeze all day look and we won't unfortunately because we don't have the time how nice would it
be to just hang out for a day guy when's the last time we did that we should go bowling yeah you're
a big bowling guy i would love to go bowling i would like to um do you know what i would like
to do possibly more than 10 pin bowling
because you you merged uh the one of the great joys of bowling with the great joys of being
outdoors is we should go lawn bowling we should find a day yeah yeah really it's summer a couple
of approved troops i could run it past the tall comics if you really want and we can go we should
do it with our families get chel in the mix. Get Olive out there.
I don't disagree, but I think Olive's enthusiasm for and projected inability to actually take part in the bowling experience
would probably undermine the relaxing joy of a couple of fellas and a couple of other tall people getting together,
rolling some balls down a lawn.
A very well manicured lawn, mind.
If your name's not Tim Bette, you must be six foot to ride this bowl's night.
I like it.
I like that you're just quietly weaseling into the tall comedian society.
How tall are you?
Five, ten and a bit.
Anyone who says and a bit is short yeah it's so
true and it's not just that they're short it's short energy it's short energy to say and a bit
isn't it it's the it's the chat of a tiny man it's just not a recognized uh measurement metric
should we i think maybe um it sounds like and you've done all this work to get the twitter
up but like there's a big backlog in the email so i could just pass my phone back and forth i would
love that i'm in no i'm in no rush and actually um tim should we make an announcement yeah totally
is that something we should do effective immediately uh yeah, it is. I don't know what we need to say.
I've got a rough idea.
Okay, great.
But this is flippin' exciting.
Yeah.
So those of you who have joined us on Patreon
or been up to speed with the main feed on our podcast recently
will have familiarised yourself with our side project,
comedy project, Killianair.
Oh, yeah.
He winked.
Which is a fundraising podcast for, I guess, some of the world's,
predominantly we've concentrated on Jeff Bezos,
but it's any person of phenomenal material wealth,
anyone who even is in with a sniff of uh crossing that incredible trillion dollar threshold
it's a fundraising podcast to begin with but it does become an execution style project as well
whereby if we can get one of those fellas over the line um well basically we're going to need
to find a way to kill him and distribute the funds yes now we are very excited to announce something that we've teased previously on the Patreon,
which is Killianair TV.
It's a television program
dedicated to fundraising
for the world's richest people with the
help of, and I'm pointing
down the microphone,
you. You. You. You. Listener.
Yeah. You. The sole libertarian
listener who can help us get this done.
So, basically, what we need from you, we're going to record,
how many episodes have we said?
Oh, like eight, I think.
Yeah, we're going to record eight episodes of this,
and each episode is going to feature two user-submitted fundraising
and execution pitches.
So basically what we need from you is a five-minute pitch
for how you can make the rich richer,
and then a two- to three-minute pitch for how you might –
Murder them.
Yeah.
And actually the time allotments, you know,
wherever your attention draws you,
you can choose to distribute that amount of time.
This is scary saying out loud because this is –
we've been talking about this for a little while,
and now it's like, oh, we fucking do it hell yeah that's right um
we've got we've even got like a day we've picked a day when we need to pretty much do all the
recording so that day is this is in new zealand time is tuesday january the 25th um so that's
new zealand time have a look wherever you are I think it works pretty comfortably
around the midday New Zealand mark
works pretty well for people
on both coasts of America
Australia and New Zealand
if you're
you would just have to
slot people in to negotiate that
but the main thing is
so I'll set up
why don't I
should I set up a little form
at worstideaofalltime.com
so if you would like to enter
you can have a look at the details.
So again, what we're looking at
is sort of a Shark Tank style business idea
to get one of these already obscenely wealthy people,
even richer,
so they cross the trillion dollar mark,
and then an assassination plot.
And then sort of, yeah,
a caper style entertaining.
Well, do you know what?
I'm putting too many words out there.
It's entirely up to you. You do i will be judging um you know contestants for who's best and then the at
the end we're going to throw it out to um yes everyone to judge who's going to be the winner
and we need to have a prize i don't know what the right we haven't talked about the prize yet
it should be an amazon gift card it certainly certainly should be. So yeah, every episode,
Tim and I will decide of the two pitchers who wins,
and then we will turn the top six pitchers to a vote,
and then the top two winning pitchers
will go to some sort of final
wherein they pitch against one another.
Yeah, we'll suss it out with your help as well.
Of course.
So if you want to be a contestant,
go to worstideaofalltime.com, and I assume I've put details up. There to be a contestant go to uh worst idea of all time.com
and i assume i've put details up there'll be a button there for you and you can fill out a little
form and tell us briefly what your plans would be and then um we'll we'll nail a time with you and
get it all done so good luck to all but mostly um to us to us and to humanity yeah and it's a comedy
it's a comedy project he's winking again folks oh yeah so if the fed Yeah. And it's a comedy project.
He's winking again, folks.
Oh, yeah.
So if the feds are listening, if we've got any litigiously-minded billionaires or board lawyers, yeah, yeah, guess what?
We're funny guys.
It's a comedy.
And the evidence is that we were talking about doing a comedy show last night at the start of this episode, so you can't touch us.
Yeah.
And the podcast is
we've done comedy podcasts before too.
Wikipedia link
for the Boner Inspector
brackets. It's
not graphic. Don't worry. This is a subject
line of an email. Dear
brave fucks, I thought you might
be amused by this. And then
there's a link, which is
https colon slash slash en for English
dot wikipedia dot org slash wiki slash
the underscore pocket underscore book
underscore of underscore bonus.
The pocket book of bonus.
Signed, your soul soul soul, soul, soul listener.
Exponent.
One of the souls is solo.
One is the city in South Korea.
One is the sort of essence of a person, yeah.
Oops, better make that soul.
Okay, so there's an addendum.
Yeah, no, it doesn't quite work out loud as well.
Do you want to, I've just clicked the link.
Do you want to describe what we're seeing?
Well, for those of you wondering,
The Pocketbook of Boners is a book illustrated by Theodore Seuss Giesel.
I don't know how to say his surname, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss.
Originally published as four separate books in 1931 to 32.
In 1941, Readers League of America compiled these four books
and published The Pocketbook of Boners.
The Pocketbook of Boners contains 22 illustrations of Boners
drawn by Dr. Seuss.
The rest of the volume consists of short jokes and humorous observations
with most being no more than four lines long.
It is notable for being an early example of Dr. Seuss' distinct illustration
style. Well,
I've got to say... Is it actually bonus?
It is. That's so funny.
I am going to
need to get my
hands on a copy of that. Yeah.
I wonder if this is one of those rare, hard
to find, expensive books I've
heard so much about. Almost definitely.
What a find that would be.
A Dr. Seuss published book of doodling doodles.
Do you remember in the movie Superbad,
one of the subplots was that Seth was obsessed with doodling boners.
Yeah.
And when I was, when I first,
I first went to America as a 20 year old with my family and I went to Los
Angeles and I was, I had a girlfriend at the time who I was very in love with and I didn't
really know what to buy her.
And so I sort of just went down the slightly novelty gift route and I bought her the book
of bonus from Superbad.
You could buy that as a published book, all the doodlings from Superbad.
And I didn't even realize that they themselves were taking an inspiration from
one of the great authors and illustrators of our time.
Mayhaps.
But another way to look at it is that Dr.
Zeus himself was taking inspiration from a core part of male DNA,
which is to draw penises.
What you want to click that?
Yeah.
Can I get in there?
All right.
Hi, Tim, Tam and yeah. Get in there. Alright. Hi Tim Tam and Guy
Gestive. Relatively
new listeners. Biscuits.
Yeah. Or cookies.
Gotta be a New Zealander.
This was published, by the way.
This tome was
written on the 28th of
July.
Correct. Correct.
2021.
Which is the past.
2021 is the past.
We weren't even in lockdown at that point.
Anyway.
No, we weren't.
We were like a month and a bit away.
Relatively new listener here.
Well, not anymore.
Only started listening at the beginning of the year,
but have since been on a small personal quest To consume as much of your guys content
Or should I say art
As possible
Podcasts, stand up, the pilot
The loo review
Guys New Zealand immigration video
That time Tim interviewed cast members
Of the world's end
The lot
It's gone deep
You know what he needs to get into next though
Big Top Burger
Oh yeah
Worthy kids
I just wanted to say
That you two never fail
To cut through the drudgery
Of my current situation
With humour
Aww
Wit
And that Kiwi charm
Except for maybe
The legendary prawn salad episode
In season one
Where you two were losing your minds
Like the ending of The Lighthouse
Where I thought
I was having a stroke At the age of 21 i'm slightly kicked myself and obbing on
the train earlier even though i'm a death blight listener but it is what it is and i'm grateful
i'm here now on a side note i'd like to know side note everybody what was going through guy's mind
when paul asked jeremy if he'd ever seen movies in the short film
task of Taskmaster NZ.
And did he think to do a one-minute version of Grown Ups 2 because, by God, if that film
had anything, it was distinctive characters.
And a lot of them are for context.
The challenge on Taskmaster was to make a movie with the most distinct characters, a
one-minute film.
Cheers from Singapore.
If you do read this on the Friend Zone, feel free to leave my name out.
And I shall.
I guessed New Zealand, but I guessed the Tim Tam and Digestive Biscuits
are not a point of national pride,
but instead an internationally recognized couple of bickies
that are available in other regions.
I genuinely thought the Tim Tam was a New Zealand biscuit, cookie, whatever the...
Yeah, I thought it was Australian, which is sort of like New Zealand, Australia.
I thought digestives were British, but I don't know what I'm basing that on.
Probably the fact that they suck.
Biscuits, they are available the world over.
It never occurred to me to perform grown-ups too.
I am actually quite proud and happy to say it didn't cross my mind.
I have parked as much of that part of my life in the past as possible is it old school to email is the subject line of this email it's a great question i think yes tippy gee i hope you both
well is a longtime fan on the back of the latest Friend Zone,
and I will hasten to add this was sent on the 30th of July,
some six months ago now,
I thought I'd throw our name in the hat of tunes you might like.
The below track isn't even out yet, so it's a sneaky preview.
Thanks for all the laughs and boner inspections.
Stay frosty, gentlemen, and say my name, Mort.
Now, unfortunately, i haven't connected uh
the recorder to anything except for these microphones so i can't play this unless i
just jam it in front of the microphone which i will right now oh no i can't open it on my phone
for some reason believe it or not tim can open his phone so mort i do sincerely apologize for that
um but uh don't worry we'll listen to it in a future yeah don't worry we'll forget to listen
to it in a future yeah yeah that's right that's dead right um we've got a 40 donation here from
i'm just seeing if they've sent me an email I think they have
yes
subject line
first of all blow me down with a feather
40 bucks
what can you buy with 40 dollars
what can't you buy with 40 US dollars
a 50 dollar bag of
lollies
well you could in New Zealand though
to be fair and that's where i would be buying my
lollies 40 americano yes mate oh oh uh i do not speak american suck i panicked didn't i
hello there guybo and oh sorry timbo and guy no it was no guy yes it was after a casual listen to
the friendzone this morning that i realized i've never once paid the boys even though i've been
listening to you for about six years it's okay well suddenly forty dollars doesn't feel like
so no no no don't you do that don't you devalue the $40. Who are you, Janet Yellen?
Yeah, I'm Janet Yellen.
Truly, I have dreadful manners.
You boys deserve all the remuneration I can offer for these many years of entertainment,
so I jumped onto PayPal at once.
Please accept these 30 crisp UK pound sterling.
Oh, my God, this gets better and better.
We're all over the world baby
um just call us pitbull because we are misters worldwide mister and mister worldwide and thanks
for your service i discovered you boys with the sex in the city 2 series can i just pause this
yeah i'm just thinking of a world where someone calls pitbull mr worldwide and he says or pitbull's
son mr worldwide and he says please my fatherbull's son Mr. Worldwide and he says, please, my father
was Mr. Worldwide. Call me Master
Worldwide. I had to get it out.
Having just been forced to
sit through that movie, we're talking
Sex and the City 2, by a horrible
friend.
I was incredulous that someone,
two people in fact,
would put themselves through 52 watches
of this
Eldritch? What's that word at the top of that screen? Two people, in fact, would put themselves through 52 watches of this
Eldritch?
What's that word at the top of that screen?
Eldritch.
Do you know what that is? No, it's a fancy word.
Not seen it before. Wow, check this out
everyone. We've got an E followed by
L-D-R-I-T-C-H.
Eldritch. Horror.
I must confess
Weird, sinister
And or ghostly
Nice
Man
Great word
I must confess
That I have been
Using your podcast
To fall asleep
All these years
Your voices are so soothing
Debatable
And help me to drift
Right off
40 pounds
Is totally worth
The insomnia cure
Also
You may be amused to hear
That I was listening
To the podcast
Throughout the years When I was pursuing my guy phd you got it baby in sociology of religion
i even had you boys playing in the car when i was driving to my viva an oral exam where you defend
your thesis in front of a panel of horrible professors who tear your work apart until you cry and i passed so clearly your wise
words helped to prime my brain and that's a crazy process what was it called viva yeah to live yeah
to live is to defend the thing you've been working on for four years there's a crazy four people out
there crazy process to work on something for so long and then it's like okay and now the final
boss yeah well that's like in pokemon that's the four you know you go to the gym leaders yeah oh no the master
yeah who are they the great four or whatever that lance the guy who always brings out the first
gyrodose and you're like i've never seen anything like this in my life yeah and it just punishes you
it's sorry i i got waylaid but it's But it's a very funny process Congratulations
I'm now trying to listen to the episodes
While I write my book based on the research
I'm so glad you're doing that
Not enough people write books based on their PhD
They do their PhDs and then they don't want to do it anymore
You know what I'd say?
Not enough people read those books
Yeah, that's probably true
We all need to read more.
No.
No, I need to read more.
No.
That was a nice statement, yeah?
Stop it.
Stop reading.
No, we all need to get off our phones and pick up a book.
Okay, and I will hand back.
You're a great reader.
You're a bastion of readers.
I have the ability to read.
You're a mascot for readers everywhere.
I refuse to touch a book.
It's unlikely to be a bestseller
but you boys can enjoy
the thought that you've helped someone contribute to
knowledge and share it
with the world.
In a way, through many
podcast listeners, you boys have earned your own
PhDs. I'm taking it. You should
both have honorary PhDs to
recognize this achievement. Congrats.
Dr. Guy and Dr Tim.
Wow.
These titles are unofficial and should not be used in public.
Please do me the honour of saying my very short first name,
and it may help you to know that my pronouns are they, them,
Dr Soph from London, UK.
Thank you, Dr Soph from London, UK.
I apologise for interjecting
in your very thorough and well-written email.
But how do you feel about your honorarium?
I didn't know that people who get PhDs
can then just distribute the title Dr. Freely.
It sort of almost undermines the value
of earning a PhD in the first place.
Although, if you use your power sparingly,
it's very cool.
I think if you've gone through so much work,
like the four years to get in that club,
you're not going to be dishing it out like candy as well.
No, no, no.
So maybe these are just the people responsible.
I'm just remembering back to the beginning of the email
when we were given $40 and assumed it was...
Dr. Soph parting with the 40-pound sterling,
a.k.a. 50 Americanos,
a.k.a. God only knows how much New Zealand money that is.
I may not always love you.
God only knows.
I listened to a great Beach Boys song this morning, Tim.
I'm going to say what it is out loud.
Was it on Pet Sounds?
No, it was on a different album.
The song is called Little Bird,
and it's from a 1968 album called Friends.
Do you know what?
Over the holiday,
after we watched the Get Back documentary about the Beatles.
Just before you go on,
perfect song to mention on the Friend Zone.
Yeah.
Chels and I did a bit of driving,
and we listened to
We listened to the entire Beatles
Discography chronologically
To work through their
Musical progressions
And then
It really encouraged me
So while you would like to read more
I hope to listen to more albums
This year
I've spent the entire last year in my liked songs
or just swinging from individual song to individual song.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Artists make albums.
Yeah, they do.
And they want you to listen to them in that order for a reason.
Yeah, that's true.
So I think maybe perhaps with all that in mind
that the Beach Boys will be next on the list of review.
Do people, not everyone, With all that in mind, the Beach Boys will be next on the list of review.
People, not everyone, but it feels like a lot of people enjoy it when you list a few things you've been listening to.
You got any other artists apart from a little-known band called The Beatles
that you've been hammering recently?
No, I got trapped in that timestamp, so there's nothing exciting on you.
I've been listening to...
It's a lot of material, too.
The Beatles, they made a track or two. I've been listening to neil young there was a very funny album a record was
being played at um by chelsea's family one day around the holidays which was uh a guy called
mason williams okay it's called the mason williams phonographic record and uh there's some funny
like very silly sort of nonsensical little songs and lyrics.
One called The Prince's Panties is particularly enjoyable.
But it also features, I believe, the first recorded version of the famous song Classical Gas.
Wow.
So that's a pretty good time.
How old is the record?
It's old.
Yeah, it must be really old.
It's old.
How old is the record?
It's old.
Yeah, it must be really old.
It's old.
If the name phonographic is not being used in jest, what does that mean?
I think that just means sound.
It probably is being used in jest a little bit.
This guy's got a bit of a wicked sense of humor.
I like music with a bit of a comedy.
I went to a show. I went and saw
it was DJs. I saw Chaos and the CBD.
Two silky,
silken smooth
New Zealand born, London based DJs.
They're brothers and they make some of the
most beautiful music in the world. When did you go?
In Wellington. When?
Ah, like before Christmas.
Nice. Yeah. Nice
one brother. I might be going to the Beths this week
I've got an in
I came across the man who offers that in
Yes
We should do that
We should do that
We should totally do that
The Beths fucking rule
I saw that guy last night
Yeah, great
And he said, if you want to do it, you let me know
Okay, another man who could be in the tall bowling club
The bowls club
That guy Yeah, he's taller than me No, he's not Isn't he? me let me know okay another man who could be in the tall bowling club the bowls club that guy
yeah he's taller than me no he's not that guy's little oh maybe we're talking about different guys
no we can't be talking about different guys anyhow dear tim and guy hello i've been listening to the
current season and enjoying it oh by the way i've been listening to a lot of clowncore still last
time i saw you you were listening to a lot of Clowncore. Still? Last time I saw you, you were listening to a lot of Clowncore.
I left and then I came back to it last night.
What did you do in between?
I'm trying to finish a bit of work at the moment, a report,
and it's good.
It's good to listen to.
Clowncore?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, honestly, hand on heart.
To see the neural pathways of your brain,
to see what lights up certain connections.
It's awesome, man. It's good music. Anyway, sorry, I just wanted to throw that in up certain connections it's awesome man it's good
music anyway sorry i just wanted to throw that in i i appreciate it i'm sorry i didn't ask
how long have we been going for 28 and a half minutes this is the last message
it's so definite dear tim and guy i've been listening to the current season And enjoying it a lot Oh shit
I just finished the latest episode
Tim, guess what the latest episode
That this person just finished is
Okay
Do the math on this
Written on the 6th of August
Carry the two
It was Emmanuel
I don't know.
Oh, the last Emmanuel in space.
I just finished the latest episode with Ben McGugan.
We were out of space then.
Yeah, we were.
The Ben McGugan turn.
Yes.
Yep.
And I have two pieces of information that I hope you might find interesting.
First, you spent some time discussing sexy funerals.
In Taiwan, many funerals have strippers as part of the funeral procession and ceremony.
Cool.
It's supposedly a combination of celebrating the virility and vitality of the deceased
and a way to ensure that there are a lot of funeral attendants.
However, it does have a downside.
The entire practice is controlled by the mafia,
and often people are forced to hire these funeral strippers
even if they don't want to.
Wow.
That's a lot.
That was like a very small paragraph,
just packed wall to wall with fascinating detail.
Yeah, truly.
Second.
Okay, more amazing information.
I've recently been listening to a podcast called Kill James Bond.
Each episode, the three hosts watch a James Bond movie going in chronological order.
They then discuss the movie from a feminist and anti-racist point of view,
while also being funny.
They've watched 13 so far.
According to these experts of the Bonds they've seen,
George Lazenby is by far the best.
Whoa.
I've only been listening to the Friendzone episode
since I caught up with your back catalogue a few weeks ago,
so I don't really know the usual format.
Hope I'm doing this right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't you worry about you.
You're doing everything perfect.
Say my first name only,
and I'm going to have a stab at it.
I apologise for any mistakes.
Negev.
Sick message.
That's so fascinating about the Taiwan Mafia funeral strippers.
Do you want strippers at your funeral?
I feel like we're calling them strippers.
Is that what we're...
Dancers?
Exotic dancers.
I mean, I don't want them there.
You don't want them there?
It's nothing personal. I really like the idea't want them there. You don't want them there? As nothing personal.
I really like the idea of having,
uh,
strippers at my funeral.
you know,
one of us is going to cock it.
Yeah,
it's true.
And the other one is going to have a hand in the funeral.
Yeah.
Uh,
so,
I'll bear that in mind.
I don't think anyone would be pleased to see strippers at my funeral.
I have thoroughly enjoyed.
This is a unique and interesting way to start a day.
Podcasting on the way to another job.
Yeah.
Like, I've done that before, I guess, but never.
Guy works in a supermarket now.
He's on his way to the supermarket.
Never between that 8 and 9 a.m. window.
Guy manages the floor staff.
So all those people who are stacking shelves and checkout operators,
guys in charge of them.
Also, you'll be fascinated here, I manage all supermarkets.
I go to a room, it's like that room in the Matrix,
and there are television screens of every supermarket around the world.
And look, I've got to be honest, guys, it's a lot of work.
I'm having a hard time of it.
So to be able to break up the day by visiting
my friend tim and just shooting the breeze having a cup of joe oh what's that i finished it ready to
adult i'm now finally ready to adult please so listen the big takeaway here is kill your near tv
is happening um let's find out if legal action happens as a result.
It's an exciting new possibility for
the boys. Are you a lawyer?
Do you want to help?
Well, yeah.
Or just let us know where we stand. What do you think?
Are we crossing
any lines with our comedy
project? He's winked again.
Go to worstideaofalltime.com
I'll set up a form if you want to be a
contestant um there will be a prize at the end but you know i think the main thing is that you could
potentially be crowned the winner of calionia which is just fantastic and you know obviously
uh depending on expressions of interest there's a chance that we won't be able to accommodate
everyone who wants to do it oh yeah yeah definitely, yeah, definitely. I would say that's, well, you know, fingers crossed
we're going to have so many applications
that we will have to select.
Yes.
So, no, don't be bummed if you don't get it.
Yeah, please.
Just don't be sad that you didn't get it.
Be happy that it was a possibility of us killing a trillionaire.
Be happy that we're putting our balls
and Jeff Bezos' neck on the line.
Bye, everyone.
Have a friendly day.
Catch you soon.
In the friend zone, you're always home.
In the friend zone, you're not alone.
Anytime with Tim and Guy.