The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Eighty Two

Episode Date: May 22, 2019

Tim and Guy are hanging out and feel reeeeeal good about it. Timbly is dodging media requests after socking it to a conservative church trying to become a political party and Guybo is nursing some ail...ing loved ones. But what it’s all about is the friendz and they have truly blessed us with their messages.Come see us live in Auckland, NYC, Chicago, Portland OR and LA! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Well it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy, yes it's the friend zone, and having a good time, yes it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy, cause making friends is the best idea of all time. My man. Hey man, god it's been a while between innings for us to catch up. Hey bro. Yes. Like this. No strings attached. Throwing off the shackles. Yep. Fuck the gals. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:00:29 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. How are you? Well, to be honest, I'm good. Like, all the better for this experience.
Starting point is 00:00:38 A rare privilege to be on mic with you and not burdened by something that's recently happened. I'm in beautiful Tamaki Makota, just sort of enjoying some late afternoon sun. Looking forward to diving into the mailbag and catching up with my friend Tim. How are you?
Starting point is 00:01:04 Fucking, you know what? you've put me in a great mood just for being in the friend zone you're right this is such a nice it's a great place to be it's a great location i fucking love it i love it it's a treat for the boys um would you agree with that tim that is a treat for the boys i hear you i hear you clicking i hear you there's so much i'm getting into the friend zone, but on the way there, there's like all these emails that have, should I,
Starting point is 00:01:29 I'll get into what's just happened, shall I, guy? Because I think this is something our friends would want to know about. I'm getting intercepted by a media organization or two. So this is a little off. We're allowed to talk about
Starting point is 00:01:42 whatever in the friend zone. Here's what's happened, folks. In New Zealand, we've got a Zealand, we're a pretty liberal country, but there's a very conservative church group that has tried its darndest to start a political wing in the past. It must have been 15 years ago, because I remember attending a couple of protests, marching against them in Parliament,
Starting point is 00:02:03 because they were against the Civil Union Bill. They're steadfastly against marriage equality in New Zealand, or were, until we fucked them up by passing that beautiful law. And they've read their ugly head again and announced that they're starting a political party again in New Zealand today. And so they're calling themselves the Coalition Party. But they're kind of dumb,
Starting point is 00:02:24 and they hadn't bought Coalition Party. The church, by the way, they're called Destiny Church, and they're led by a very divisive and pretty grotesque figure named Brian Tarmacki. He's a baddie. He's like those televangelists who are like, no, no, God wants me to have all your money and motorcycles and mansions and shit.
Starting point is 00:02:41 He's one of those. He's not a good one. So they named themselves the coalition party and uh they hadn't gone to the trouble of buying coalitionparty.co.nz which is what most of the websites end end in in new zealand and so i bought it and i redirected it to the male gaze which is a tv show that i made with my friends about queer issues in new zealand as soon people are loving it. As soon as people launch something, you know, and you're not sure whether or not they've got the domain name,
Starting point is 00:03:11 enter Tim Batt, who by the end of the day, nine times out of ten will be in control of that domain name. This is why I'm so poor. Rosematafeo.com, are you not? Yeah. Yeah, I think I can't remember if I did it or not, but I always intended to redirect it to Alice Sneddon's
Starting point is 00:03:30 Facebook comedian page It's a bit of fun And I still You know what else I've got, Guy? Blazepizza.co.nz Yes, dude They may not enter this territory unless they go through me that's right the road
Starting point is 00:03:48 to alter runs through tim bat as it always has and as it always shall uh well what sort of media companies are hounding you tim they want your opinions they want your time yeah yeah this is yeah they want my takes and stuff and i'll give it to them because i've got a show on at the moment and any publicity is good publicity to get some my man what are the details of the show oh guy how good are you it's um well this is this is space couch guy this is the show um featuring myself and a musician called disaster radio and we're doing a chat show on stage and the star of the show is space couch who's voiced by paul f tompkins holy hell yes who just like a gentleman for nothing for gratis just help me out by voicing all of these these lines that we use in the show to bring this character to life of a um a radioactive Soviet communist couch.
Starting point is 00:04:45 You know what they say about PFT? He's the best. Third kindest man in show business. Did you say third? Yeah. Goes Hugh Jackman. No. Larry King.
Starting point is 00:05:01 No. Paul F. Tompkins. Larry King. No way Larry King. No way Larry King is in the top three. The big three! Hey Guy, how are you doing? You've got some ailing
Starting point is 00:05:13 people around you and you've been dodging viruses like... That's right. I had this horrible sort of flu-like virus for 24 hours but such is the efficiency of my body, it sort of processed the whole thing that quickly. And now I am a pillar of, if not society,
Starting point is 00:05:32 at least the house in which I reside, as I care for my partner, lovely Chelsea. And on the odd occasion, I have been looking after her beautiful daughter as well. While Chelsea's been fighting the good fight of trying to sweat this goddamn thing out in bed. Sucks. Being sick sucks. Being sick is bad.
Starting point is 00:05:56 She's at the point where, you know when you're sick and you think, I'm never going to take being healthy for granted again. You know that kind of point? Yeah. Hard out. Right in the slot. It's been so long since we've done
Starting point is 00:06:06 a friendzone, Tim, that I've got a piece of mail here dated from February of this year. Yeah, same. Go on. Play on, player.
Starting point is 00:06:15 Hey! I don't know if this is relevant, of interest or not, but I did a feminist review of Sex and the City for one of my Women and Gender Studies courses. If you think it might add
Starting point is 00:06:24 for any kind of desperate enrichment to your suffering, I'd be happy to send it over also i just realized i've literally no idea if this is how to message tim and guy or if i'm talking to a mod right now but either way have a good day uh well mckayla you're talking to guy and by proxy tim and this late stage in the season i would i would literally chop down a tree to get my hands on that uh little yeah review so I'm going to be lovely right now and I'm going to express some enthusiasm and send an email address to which you can address it while Tim reads out our next piece of correspondence thank you so much Michaela this comes comes to us from Liam in the middle of February.
Starting point is 00:07:06 Good afternoon, Tim and Guy. That is a highly unorthodox way to start a message to us on the Friend Zone, but so it continues. I love your podcast. I recommend it to everyone, though the premise is a little tricky to sell, and being from New Zealand myself and an expat, I can't resist bragging about how we share the same country of origin, and i fear
Starting point is 00:07:25 this makes people think i'm biased and they take the recommendation less seriously maybe i am i partake in new zealand in anything by preference oh in new zealand i partake in any in new zealand anything by preference have you seen eagle versus shark i am led to understand it it's objectively bad but it was filmed around my nana's bit so i love watching it anyway that said i do not understand how some of our mutual friends have been able to binge your podcast they i guess that should be that the way you bring me into the conversation really enhances the experience and makes the good great but it is also but it also makes the whole thing a little too visceral for me to tolerate
Starting point is 00:08:05 much more than two to three episodes a week. Your struggle is too real. I don't know how you manage when I cannot cope with the splash damage your good boys, brave boys, hard boys. Since I've found the worst idea of all time... Can I... While I'm very much enjoying this message,
Starting point is 00:08:23 I know that this will be outdated with reference to the language in these messages, but could I suggest every time we hear boys, you and I change the word to fellas? Yeah, this sounds like some 1984 stuff, but sure.
Starting point is 00:08:41 As you were. Okay. Okay. Since I found the worst idea I've listened to all of seasons 1 and 2 And had got as far as season 3 Ep you did with Rose and Alice In Melbourne
Starting point is 00:08:57 Before your Deathblood announcement That season 4 was in the works I need to say I'm worried Guy in that episode you were in a bad place. One of a few you two have been in in our time. You were not enjoying We Are Your Friends, and I was worried for you seeing out the season. You two have been through a lot, and it's taken its toll, and then you commit to a whole new season, and then it turns out you've been binging episodes yourself. Madness. I suppose all this is to say, take care of yourselves,
Starting point is 00:09:26 fellas. I care for your well-being and I would hate for you to do something irreparable, but also thank you. For entirely selfish reasons, I'm super glad you're doing a fourth season. Typically, I listen to podcasts while exercising because I find it helps distract me from the pain in my lungs, so I give you partial credit for the 20 kilograms I've lost in the last two years. Take care, fella. Thanks for it all. Say my name. That is from the legend himself, Liam Faulkner.
Starting point is 00:09:54 20K in two years. That is awesome. Liam Faulkner, thank you so much for that most generous correspondence and what sounded like hard-earned or won. Empathy. You're really in the pocket with us. You're right here in the saddle,
Starting point is 00:10:11 and it's appreciated. We love you for it. Yeah, we really do. Shall I push on? I mean, we're backed up, you know, like someone who doesn't have enough fiber in their diet. Hello, boys. Been meaning to send you a quick message for a bit since season four started,
Starting point is 00:10:27 but grad school is an unforgiving and distracting mistress at times. To me, I'm imagining that grad school is the main thing you're doing. And to refer to it as distracting, from the bottom of my heart, I respect. Just wanted to let you know how good it is to have you boys back on this idiotic and entertaining adventure. Much love to you both. Nothing but good vibes. Give my love to SJP and the gals because I sure as shit won't be watching Sex and the City anytime soon. Luke.
Starting point is 00:10:56 Love that. From Oklahoma. So thank you so much. It's the right attitude. It's the right attitude from Luke, isn't it? All the best on your endeavors. I want no part in them, but I will watch you from a distance safely
Starting point is 00:11:07 on the other side of the safety rail. A gorgeous donation from Carolyn. Gorgeous. With an attached message that says, I'm switching it on the fly. Thanks fellas for making my daily commute fly by. Do you think fellas is too like hey fellas um i just don't want to censor what other people have said and it feels like a form of
Starting point is 00:11:34 censorship you know it's not censorship the message is being read it's more editing yeah that's what i mean i want to give people their own editorial um you know well you you use choices you you choose you you you you do whatever the fuck you want man okay dude um i'm gonna and by the way i'm all good don't worry about me yeah clearly mate clearly mate another fucking gorgeous just oh, oh, so nice. Lovely donation has come through, worstideaofalltime.com, from John Grasso. I'm so sorry if you didn't want your last name read. I hope that's okay.
Starting point is 00:12:17 Says, word limit too short, sending you fellas an email. So hopefully we are sitting on one. We'll get to it. We'll get to it sure it's in it's in the pile here somewhere so um i've got a message here i'm just going to do this one as well guy because the other two have been short this actually came to us from one of the patreon pals who sent a message through there so um this is great a whole nother avenue of communique that is good do you want me to read one while you find it or have you got it there i've got it it's right here jordan writes dear spindly timbly live at wembley and guy montversuvius i write to you finally after many years wow of enjoying all the
Starting point is 00:12:57 content you good fellas put out to say thank you your vibes have always been strong and when they haven't been they have been very entertaining. I think the subtlety of your podcast is what I really enjoy, and the wide vocabulary you both bring to the table. To Tim, your Nexus theory is damn spot on, mate. My partner was going through some career decisions, and you hit the nail on the head.
Starting point is 00:13:20 Would love to hear some more about this. To Guy, get your ass to Adelaide Fringe I've come across this guy before Much love You are good fellas Brave fellas Fuck fellas Oh, that sticks well
Starting point is 00:13:37 And most importantly Friendly fellas Jordan, say my name Colbert Or Colbert Not sure P.S. The goddamn across the Tasman accent has left me thinking this entire time
Starting point is 00:13:48 that the hit 90s band was the typeface itself, Ariel Speedwagon. Not as I found out recently, R-E-O Speedwagon. You fucking got me, fellas. That is so good. Jordan Colbert. So he hounds me regularly because I was going to do the Adelaide Fringe one year and I had to pull out because my wisdom teeth came through. And any time I tweet promotional content for myself
Starting point is 00:14:18 performing comedy in Australia, he will respond, ask me when I'm coming to Adelaide. And it's him and a friend. And I'll always go on big riffs and tears about I'm coming to Adelaide and it's him and a friend and I'll always go on big big riffs and tears about how much I hate Adelaide
Starting point is 00:14:29 and what a piece of work I am so thank you so much for that correspondence and I'll be there sometime I promise Adelaide Fringe
Starting point is 00:14:39 sounds like a lot of fun we've heard from our friends that it's a great festival yeah we would say that though wouldn't we yeah hey Timbo and GoGuy you might already be done watching sex in the city now but listening to you watch it is reminding me of how much i hated that movie and you're literally the only two on the planet who might give a shit why so i have to tell you they set up this ridiculous
Starting point is 00:15:00 notion that miranda's comment to big is the reason he jilts carrie and we're supposed to think that carrie is justified in being enraged at Miranda not just because of what Miranda said to Big but because Carrie has never kept a secret from Miranda the fact makes us think that Miranda has committed a friendship sin that Carrie never has so she's justified in her anger that's bullshit in the series Carrie and Big break up the girls are happy because Big was pretty terrible to Carrie the following season Carrie, Carrie gets back with them, secretly. There's even a scene where she walks home from his place and runs into Miranda and Carrie,
Starting point is 00:15:31 lies and says she was at the dentist for weeks. She keeps the secret from the girls and only tells them when she can't get her diaphragm out. Side note, who uses diaphragms anymore? And she reveals she's with Big again. You know how Miranda reacts? She's not mad about the secret keeping. She's upset because of how terrible Carrie felt when she was with Big the first time.
Starting point is 00:15:51 And then Carrie keeps a secret in a following season when she's cheating on Aiden with Big. You know who she tells first? Samantha. Big's wife finds out about the affair before Carrie tells Miranda. So the idea that I'm supposed to agree with Carrie that her feelings of betrayal are justified because she hasn't kept a secret are based on lies and her rage falls flat for me. Not only is it wrong, but it's misplaced. The fact that they try to use Miranda rather than Big as the scapegoat for this conflict
Starting point is 00:16:16 they created just so they could justify Carrie going back to him in the end is such bullshit I can't even stand it. You know why a dude stands someone up at the altar? Because the dude sucks. Not because a woman who's understandably distra up at the altar because the dude sucks not because a woman who's understandably distraught at the dissolution of her marriage makes an off-handed comment at the height of her distress fuck you mattress fuck you right in the pikelet sorry this got long but thanks for letting me rant i am giving you a standing ovation for that message
Starting point is 00:16:41 that is so on point guy i've got a feeling you sent me this scene on YouTube. Wasn't this the one you sent me from Sex and the City? I did not send you this scene. I did send you a scene where we see genuine conflict between Miranda and Carrie
Starting point is 00:16:56 because the presumption is that and this is, you know, we're sidelining the friend zone with some pretty disgusting chatter. But the belief is that Carrie and Mirandaanda are you know although you don't need to rate the friends on a on a hierarchy they're the closest friends and this is supported by the clip i sent you which is miranda uh carrie telling miranda she's back
Starting point is 00:17:16 with big when they're thrift shopping and miranda gets you know pissed off and upset and says uh don't come miranda yeah exactly. Miranda's very within her rights. Cause she's seen this, her friend fall apart so many times at the hands of this man. She's like, that's it, Carrie. I'm not going to be there to catch,
Starting point is 00:17:32 like do whatever you want, but I'm not going to keep being there for you through this nonsense and good on. Yeah. Uh, so anyway, that's from Alison and it's, I mean,
Starting point is 00:17:41 loaded with good points. The sort of, uh, detail, you know, with regards good points. The sort of, uh, detail, you know, with regards to having seen the show that I'd say the frosty fellas would probably kill for at this point, uh,
Starting point is 00:17:52 as we trudge, trudge through the forties. Guy, are you not outraged because there was a line in the film where Carrie says, I would never keep a secret. I have never kept a secret from you. Oh, wait,
Starting point is 00:18:04 I've kept one It's that, how does she phrase it? That she's being too mean to Steve Oh, that you and Steve shouldn't have broken up Bullshit, she's lied to her heaps According to Alison This is the point that Alison raises And so brilliantly
Starting point is 00:18:19 I've just responded congratulating and thanking Alison For that Alison is a better friend to us than Carrie is to Miranda. How about that? Mattress pikelet. Yeah, nice. I agree. I would say any of the correspondence we receive in the friend zone
Starting point is 00:18:34 is a closer representation of actual friendship and connection than what we see between the four gals in the Sex and the City movies. Absolutely. This is another message that comes to us from a Patreon pal guy, one by the name of John, no H, so presumably short for Jonathan. You are a true sir, my great... Now, I'm going to have to spell this for you, guy,
Starting point is 00:18:55 because I can't pronounce... Oh, no, I will try to pronounce it. Tim-o... Nope. Tim? Tybomjee. That's how you would say it. Ty Bomji.
Starting point is 00:19:07 I've been considering having a weekend. Currently, my idea is this weekend, March the 31st and 31st, Saturday, Sunday. Of course, this very weekend. Fuck, my life is busier than I expected. To burn through all of the movies as a great deciders group.
Starting point is 00:19:24 I am willing to help make a discord group for the listeners am i crazy otherwise i'll probably pop this on to reddit i'm in jersey on the east coast of the united states but i think fuck you all this is important let's do it if this gets read on the friend zone feel free to read out my old messages and say my name. I love you. This is from John Preble. This is an awesome idea. Obviously, this is communicating to us from the past.
Starting point is 00:20:02 I think there is some good ammunition in these sorts of ideas be being pursued after we finish this season because guy and i psychically need at a minimum a break okay we need a break um so there's this is a fun little idea that maybe we could oh no wait he's already done it okay all right guy uh this this post on reddit um saturday marathon viewing april 27 question mark i've drunkenly sent this idea to the boys over patreon i'm curious to see if anyone else is interested i'm considering watching four the four movies in a row starting at 8 a.m eastern on saturday the 27th i've considered doing this for a while setting up a discord voice chat app for the unfamiliar and doing it as a group of fans let me know what you think uh yeah look look i'm not sure if it's actually happened but the idea was flowed and
Starting point is 00:20:51 there was some comments on the uh on the subreddit there so but look as i say this is good fodder for some some fun and games maybe after the season's done i reckon do you reckon look yeah yeah i'm i'm all for people having fun i just am scared of saying anything on the microphone which involves me committing to being on a microphone yeah fair enough i'll come with you guys though i'd love to i'd love to try and make that work hey guys time of day for me long time listener clay here marathon runner from the friend zone you remember clay tim i do remember marathon runner clay he's in queensland australia anyway just listening to season four because i'm up to knee deep and i'm thinking i'll dig my way out of this collective
Starting point is 00:21:34 hole we're all in shared punishment amongst friends right anyway i'd like to float a theory delving into the depravity of mattress pike like king's line when big colors he really stays inside the lines that's when i thought you'd misheard it what was what was perhaps meant to be really r-e-a-l-l-y stays inside the lines i guess insinuating a marksmanship ability perhaps worthy of bragging about sadly i just checked and i can confirm you guys stood here correctly and big is an illiterate lacrosse playing jizz sprinkler anyway much love and friendship to you brave boys your friend clay perhaps or ps perhaps big's jiscusi invention may have been an invention born out of necessity ponder yeah i have talked about this previously but in the american vernacular you pronounce the words really r-e-a-l-l-y and
Starting point is 00:22:25 the words real rarely r-a-r-e-l-y meaning like very no wait meaning occasionally you pronounce them differently but in kiwi we say them the same like it's a homophone but in american it isn't is that right yeah yeah that's right we that's right. We had a complaint. Actually, I don't even know if it was on mic, but we had a complaint recently about conflicting pronunciations of woman and woman. And as anyone who's listening will be able to attest, obviously we distinguished between those two words very well.
Starting point is 00:22:59 But obviously woman as in a singular woman and woman as in multiple women. We do say that wrong. I got taught in radio school. It was so weird because I only did a six-month course in radio. But I specifically remembered they were like, when you say woman in the Kiwi accent, you pronounce it like the last vowel is an I. So it's W-O-M-I-N,n women i was like yeah what are we what are we doing here guys we do we change both both vowels become an i women women yeah you're right women no wonder people
Starting point is 00:23:36 mock us for our accents fucking sexiest accent in the world as voted by true's not true. It's irony. a website. I went on goddamn Australian television standing up for our accent. Hey. Daniel. Yeah? You go read this and then I'm going to talk to you.
Starting point is 00:23:55 No, talk to me now actually. I was going to say what about like I'm having such a good time what about one more and then we've still got so much to get through. We wrap this one up and we
Starting point is 00:24:06 just pledge that we'll do another one toot sweet like in the next week we'll bang out another one of these this is so much better than the podcast this is so much better i know just people getting in touch to tell us we're legends how about that for a podcast and i said all right patting everyone on the back everyone involved on the back as we read these out. Monty, I reckon we could do a couple more. A couple more, I reckon. I don't know. I want it to be short and sweet.
Starting point is 00:24:35 I want people who are listening to this to be able to get on with their merry day, on their merry way. As always, I will defer to your judgment. I will. You seem to feel strongly about this, and you may well be on the right path. Daniel says to us,
Starting point is 00:24:49 Dearest Timbly, Spimbly Wim, and Guy Montblanc, you may remember me from emails where I complained to you I was listening to your potty and my SD card broke, and another time I was listening to the potty and a different SD card broke well I'm back again with another expensive thing caused by the potty I was listening to a recent episode of season four and one of you made a joke about key rings I laughed then I fell then I felt my hip for my key ring and I couldn't find it I spent the next couple hours trudging through the snowy wilderness searching for my keys,
Starting point is 00:25:28 but could not find them. This leads me to believe that one or both of you snuck up on me and stole my keys as a joke. This cost me $80 for the tow company to break into my truck and another question mark dollars amount for the amount of work I missed stumbling through the woods looking for my kid. It's such a visual picture
Starting point is 00:25:53 of like where and what situation this person's in. So good. Bringing my total podcast debt to $230 in addition to the amount I've donated or sent on Patreon. You both are real Guy Montgomery.
Starting point is 00:26:11 From Daniel. P.S. Probably don't read my signature out as those are my phone numbers. Why don't we say phone numbers? Even if it's like one number but multiple digits there's something cute about that yeah can i give you my phone numbers is that what daniel just said i'm so sorry for all of the uh and also the subject line of this email guy was you bastards part three oh man we are bastards and I'm about to tell you why.
Starting point is 00:26:45 Go on. So I know I said no more correspondence, but I'm going to write, I'm going to retroactively try and write it wrong here. Oh, wow. I know. No, we're cool guys. Let me in.
Starting point is 00:27:02 What's happened? So as a piece of correspondence this one says lads oh actually no we're both somehow god we contain multitudes we're good guys and we're bad guys lads i'd like to bring your attention back to a wonderful couple heaven and will pickers as you may remember him heaven reached out to you a while ago for a shout to will on his birthday please see attached screenshot you wonderful people came through and gave him a delightful shout out. They were positively tickled. I wanted to see if there was any chance for us to continue this ongoing love and support for these two who are now getting married.
Starting point is 00:27:35 Their engagement party is on April 6th. And the wedding is next year in August. Hoping for anything on the spectrum of a podcast shout out video shout out we're making a video for them or an emceeing gig at the wedding long shot ha ha let me know what you think coming to see you guy at the comedy fest so excited cheers scout it's in melbourne this message uh we've got towards the end of february and the screenshot is attached to the time in 2016 when we were pretty punctual in our response times, and we successfully managed to share a well-wish to Pickers.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Was it video? No, it was just an audio recording. So this is a well-wish in the form of, I hope the engagement party on april 6th went off without a hitch i hope it all went well i hope will smith was not there reprising his popular role in the only rom-com i can think that he starred in of hitch uh i hope he wasn't there i hope he was there in character as the genie from aladdin and uh caramba i i all right bart simpson and i hope that the wedding prep's going great you know we're in late may uh two two and a bit months time you know i hope uh you're seeing eye to eye
Starting point is 00:28:55 tim you'd probably be a better position to speak on this than i what oh i don't have any advice or anything i'll emcee the wedding no problem all right you just got to get tim over to melbourne and he will be there but i've been to a few weddings in my time thank you so much for the message scout and a huge congratulations and best wishes to heaven and will hey heaven and world this is tim here i uh just want to temper what i've said it was sort of a gag. I would love to even see your wedding. No, no, no, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:29:28 I don't know if it'll be feasible. The friend zones like, who wants to be a millionaire? We have to take your first answer. I will say this, however. The experience of marriage and the experience of a wedding is a beautiful and wonderful thing. And I wish you all the very best for not only the big day, but for a lifetime of happiness together. Go hard.
Starting point is 00:29:47 I hope you're as happy in matrimony as I am in mine. What a beautiful sentiment. And it seems like a good place to end the friend zone. Or should we sell it? Or it would be. It would be were it not for kind of the reason why we had to do this today. Because we do have a few announcements, everybody. Don't we, Guy?
Starting point is 00:30:11 Multiple announcements. Is that what I hear, Tim? Absolutely. We need to get into it. The first and most important is kind of a reminder slash announcement that we will be doing a live show in Auckland, New Zealand, this Sunday afternoon, and very few people have bought tickets,
Starting point is 00:30:29 so it might be empty, and that makes me very unhappy. How few people? Not a lot, but you know, as long as our one Libertarian listener comes, then, you know, all will be rescued. One's all you need, baby baby we can give one a show all you need is one now just in case our sole libertarian listener isn't in auckland we have
Starting point is 00:30:51 set up and this is the first announcement of this is breaking news everybody we have some american live shows they're happening in june that's right this is to end this season and i've got to be honest like we don't plan anything here but maybe the podcast this may very well be um the last opportunity to see this podcast in a physical sense ever ever don't know i gotta tell you i would describe this tour as our most ambitious yet, both in terms of scope and the knowledge of, you know, whether or not people are going to be there. We're doing four cities at once. We're starting in New York City on Sunday, June 23rd at Littlefield. We're going to be doing a live show for you then.
Starting point is 00:31:44 And what happens on the Monday, Tim? Well, I'm so glad you asked. And answered. You go. We're going to be in Chicago. The very next day. Chicago, Illinois. The second city, baby.
Starting point is 00:31:57 At a beautiful venue called Sleeping Village on Monday, June the 24th. Giving you guys a live show that will absolutely rock your socks off. Tim, what happens when we make it to the West Coast? Would you please fill me in? We're not sticking around for long, Guy, because on Wednesday the 26th,
Starting point is 00:32:15 we'll be performing live in Portland, Oregon at the Clinton Street Theatre, which, if you were there last time, it's the same venue where we went the first time for our live show. Once again, it's happening on Wednesday the 26th of June. But the good times keep rolling, don't they, Guy? Absolutely. They surely
Starting point is 00:32:32 do. Because that Friday, the 28th of June, we're going to be in Los Angeles, California at the Dynasty Typewriter, rounding out the tour in style with some Californians. We are so excited for this this we can only do these shows uh with your support so if you live in or near any of these places please buy a ticket in advance
Starting point is 00:32:54 come along we would absolutely love to see you there we're so excited to get back stateside together and get back in a room with our friend singular libertarian listener follow us across the country talk about it on social media rally the friends we cannot wait to see you there uh we'll have more details available as they come to hand but that is all the necessary information so that is i will i will make sure that i'm going to tell it one more time sunday june 23 in new york monday june 24 in chic 24 in Chicago Wednesday June 26 in Portland and Friday June 28 in Los Angeles the worst idea of all time
Starting point is 00:33:30 is coming back to the States unless someone at border control tells us otherwise there's a link in the description but if you just go to littleempirepodcast.com slash live all the details and the links
Starting point is 00:33:41 will be there so you can buy tickets right now I think for all of the shows. The tickets have just gone online for all of them. So they'll be available. And yeah, please, please, please, please come. Please come and buy a ticket
Starting point is 00:33:52 because coming here from New Zealand is not so cheap. I don't know if you guys can remember as far back as the start of the podcast, but I remember a guy called Tim Batt saying he'd bankrupted himself because he'd been buying so many goddamn domain names yeah but it was for a good cause it was to stick it to some homophobes so i stand behind the decision oh no doubt fiscally not not my smartest move help him make
Starting point is 00:34:18 the money back you guys yeah please do we will see you at the live shows um aucklanders please come please bring a friend it's only 15 for that one because we don't have to travel far and all of these live shows will be a special piece of media that guy and i made which we are legally disallowed from sharing online um you'll only be able to see it at the live show so god bless uh jar bless um ala bless um we was trying to say. In the form of Aladdin's genie, bless. Peace and love to all religions.
Starting point is 00:34:48 Catch you on the flip side, motherfuckers. Well, it's the friend zone. With Tim and Guy. Come to the friend zone. And have a good time. Yes, it's the friend zone. With Tim and Guy. Because making friends is the best idea of all time.

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