The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Forty Eight

Episode Date: June 17, 2017

Tim has sobered up but something is sticking him in the butt. Don't worry about it too much though because Guy's here too. Except that he isn't. He's in Australia. Talking about his thoughts on Eurovi...sion. Plus, Jimmy Carter shakes everyone's hand on a plane? You be the judge. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Well, it's the Friend Zone, where Tim and Guy come to the Friend Zone And have a good time, yes, it's the Friend Zone With Tim and Guy, cause making friends is the best idea of all time Hi, welcome to the Friend Zone, here we all are, back again That's right Sober as a judge Here we all are The 48th installment of the Friend Zone
Starting point is 00:00:25 A podcast where Tim and I do our darndest to avoid discussing Where are your friends and instead bathe In the sort of beautiful and bountiful waters Of your adoration and friendship Tim, how are you going? I'm going okay, buddy, how are you? Yeah, I'm alright I'm in a sort of really 70s style Best Western Motel in Carnarvon, West Australia.
Starting point is 00:00:54 Carnarvon. I've been here for two nights, and tonight's the third night. We're doing a show tonight. We've had two nights off here, and I honestly, for the life of me, cannot figure out who programmed two nights off in Carnarvon Give me a rundown of the amenities and cultural activities
Starting point is 00:01:12 that you can do there You can have a good think Do you like thinking Tim? Yeah I like thinking, thinking's good This might be the town for you. I've got some sort of basic version of Foxtel, which is like cable, Australian cable, on my Hisense TV in the room here,
Starting point is 00:01:34 so you can do a bit of that. It's a little bit rubbish, though, these days, isn't it? It's not very good. You can put off doing a tax return. I'll tell you that. That's something I've got a lot of experience doing here in Carnarvon. Go for a swim in the pool. It might be the middle of winter, but it's 26 outside.
Starting point is 00:01:50 Oh, boy. You can go down to the local pub for a meal. Did that last night. Got a veggie pasta. I mean, these are all great options. What I'm trying to communicate to you, Tim, is there's not a lot going on in Carnarvon. No, but I think the universe has delivered you
Starting point is 00:02:10 a bit of contemplation time, Guy. I think that's what it's been all about. Well, this is the thing is I always thought that I would do well in a small town. I've always thought if you removed all the distractions and hubbub of big city life, it would be great to have an opportunity to focus. Big city life. Yeah, you got have an opportunity to focus and big city life
Starting point is 00:02:26 yeah you got it matter fix get away from it all but I've found this has done nothing to increase my
Starting point is 00:02:34 productivity nothing at all oh boy hey well look it's just it's just provided a more bleak landscape in which
Starting point is 00:02:43 to achieve very little we're supposed to talk about positive stuff In the friend zone That's the whole reason why we're in this zone To talk about friendly positive things But friendship's also about honesty Isn't it?
Starting point is 00:02:56 Yeah that's true Hey let me ask you a question Guy A lot of people have sent me this link And I still haven't watched the video yet But have you watched that Dicks video that people have been sending us with a shirtless zikoli and maximum joseph oh no i haven't there's been a lot of noise about it but i've not watched it yes same i'm in the same boat i'm tempted to kind of do
Starting point is 00:03:15 it like although i think it's quite long let me click the link and see it's half an hour long oh it is too that's why i haven't watched it needs a pen a painter a brush and a director an army said orson wells apparently he was a total dick it's good that this has got subtitles That's why I haven't watched it A poet needs a pen, a painter, a brush And a director and army Said Orson Welles Apparently he was a total dick It's good that this has got subtitles Not sure why the sound isn't coming through actually But it's fine
Starting point is 00:03:33 Neither here nor there Well you know Speaking of sort of bold Philosophical proclamations Made by people who might be ill equipped to share them I've got a message here from a man or lady whose name i will not say because i don't know how they feel about it okay cool once again my greeting to you my magical males of fornication throughout your podcast in the film there is constant mention to the supposed fact that one must achieve an astounding level of
Starting point is 00:04:02 quality within one song so as to grant them fame as a disc jockey in today's world the cinematic masterpiece of which you watch every week gives support to this with quotes from zekuli effrontery all you need is one track and yourselves have attempted to pose evidence for the opposing view i put forward that the point raised by zigzag effy jack's character is the correct one the eurovision song contest a popular competition with viewership in excess of 200 million people worldwide featured a contestant whom had achieved such success from only creating a single track norway's entrant joust spelt j-o-w-s-t all caps performing grab the moment has no full studio releases and had
Starting point is 00:04:43 merely submitted his track to the completion that releases, and had merely submitted his track to the competition that decides Norway's entrant to the Eurovision Song Contest. Joust's wiki page has been attached. With this information, I firmly believe that it is possible for Zam Bam F Jam to achieve starting with a single track, but not with that track. Good point. First thing I want to bring up, guys,
Starting point is 00:05:05 it's probably Yoast. I'm imagining it's a soft yay. Yeah, that sounds quite Nordic. I'm just pursuant to this person's point that you can go on to win one Eurovision and be famous. I've just quickly googled previous Eurovision winners. A lot of names that I don't recognise on here, Guy. In fact, the first one,
Starting point is 00:05:23 I would have a hell of a time even attempting to pronounce. Mons? Zalmulo? There's a bunch of, like, Macron's and crazy characters in there. Stumbling over pronouncing the word pronounce on your way to an unpronounceable name term did not bode well.
Starting point is 00:05:40 I'll say that. And also, whether or not you know of someone is a very interesting gauge of fame true you're not wrong let me throw the name uh Loring
Starting point is 00:05:50 at you with the hit song Euphoria well I don't I've never really I don't quite understand Eurovision I've never really
Starting point is 00:05:58 followed it like um like a lot of people do yeah I'm with you man I've kind of dipped my toes in previously um because it's a it's a big funny thing to comment
Starting point is 00:06:10 I've got something sticking into my butt like a pin or something sorry to hear that what a situation it's like a classic goof someone's played on me on my chair my word right in my butt anyway I mean obviously in response to the point raised by
Starting point is 00:06:26 i mean person x um hassle brook is their name uh i would i would say this we're not denying you know that one hit wonders exists and that you know stardom has happened for some people on the back of one song or one opportunity. I just don't think it's necessarily a sustainable model to be aspiring to. If this movie is meant to show you the life of someone working their butt off to become a successful DJ, I think that the premise is flawed if that DJ's goal is to create one song. It should create a good, tourable name and reputation for yourself and set of skills as a DJ and use that to parlay into releasing maybe more than just
Starting point is 00:07:09 one song The film Central Tenant seems to a little bit be about excuse me oh boy, seems to be about shortcuts you know, shortcuts to getting famous and rich and stuff Yeah that's true well anyway, certainly an interesting point You know, shortcuts to getting famous and rich and stuff.
Starting point is 00:07:26 Yeah, that's true. Well, anyway, certainly an interesting point. Well raised. And one I will gladly move on from. Yeah, man. Absolutely. I don't know how old it is or where it came from. But it's helping the throat. Sorry, man.
Starting point is 00:07:41 I interrupted the name. No, you're right. I've just opened up the next message. Oh, let me, if I may. Yeah. This was actually sent 11 days ago by Liam, and he says, Hi, Tim and Guy. I wanted to email you boys while you're chilling in the friend zone
Starting point is 00:07:56 and let you know what an awesome podcast you have made and continue to make for all the friends. And since season one, you have traveled with me across many adventures. Recently with Mate, we did what I call the worst idea live hat trick, friends and since season one you have traveled with me across many adventures recently with mate we did what i call the worst idea live hat trick which in reality was a fantastic idea as we came and saw at the sydney comedy festival the live podcast show guys stand up followed by a dash across town to make it to tim's stand-up show all on this saturday night oh my god the guy i was laughing uncontrollably throughout all shows,
Starting point is 00:08:27 possibly scaring the old bloke next to me at Guy's show. So keep up your great work in the comedy podcast scene. You boys are all class and all laughs. Say or sing my name. Liam Isaacan. P.S. I Facebook messaged you guys last year along with some fan art merch design, but it may have got lost in the worldwide web. so I hope this one makes it through with my appreciation
Starting point is 00:08:48 to you awesome boys I'll just say there's no attachment on the email not that he suggested there was but like I would share with you the picture he had sent guy except that there isn't one here and let me just highlight as well how bad we are at organising ourselves and our contributions
Starting point is 00:09:04 sent to us. So resend the art. I want to see it. I don't want that shit falling through the cracks, Liam. And God bless you for coming to all the shows. I think I remember you, actually. We had a chat after the show where you announced that you'd done the trifecta. Bloody good on you.
Starting point is 00:09:19 That is an incredible effort and certainly one that I'm grateful for. It was just really hard because we were at different venues separated by about a kilometer uh or one of your american miles or so you're gonna really get a a hustle on tim i've sent you the image um that i was looking at that where was the most recent message i've opened is that you might to me through your fingers on the pulse a little bit more with gaming i think so you might be able to decipher uh what this is in reference to it's i got sent this we got sent this image and just the sentence dick bot confirmed i've facebook messaged it to you did he wait so did this guy make this i i would think he must have, yeah. That's the suggestion, right? That is fucking amazing. So he's taken the Sex and the City poster,
Starting point is 00:10:08 and I haven't actually played the series, and I'll probably pronounce it wrong, but DSX, is that what you say? Dois. I don't know. D-E-U-S. You know what? We'll share it on the Facebook group,
Starting point is 00:10:21 because that is too good to keep to our little selves. It's so funny. A huge thank you to David Lyons for that. Troll in the Dungeon. Thought you ought to know that's another reference to that Dicks video that we haven't read. Here's a big juicy one. Are you ready? You go on then.
Starting point is 00:10:41 Comes from Manchester in the United Kingdom. You go on then. Comes from Manchester in the United Kingdom. Dear Timmy, sorry. Dear Timmy 9-volt battery and Flash Montgomery. I know Guy is a keen lover of things with odd-shaped balls, may or may not include Tim Bat, so I was wondering what egg ball teams he supported because I'm not sure he's categorically stated it.
Starting point is 00:11:03 I'm a Bengals fan despite being English and having no geographic ties to America so I could have picked anyone but no I went with the worst team I could have picked not named the Browns. And I've also made the assumption Guy's a Crusaders fan being from Christchurch and seeing Phantom Crusaders props in Sexton City too but perhaps I'm mistaken. I'm a Bath fan and we're currently coached by ex-Crusaders coach Todd Blackadder, who's clearly so irreplaceable that since he's left, the Crusaders have gone undefeated. Also wondering what your Lions predictions are,
Starting point is 00:11:34 especially as you got a message last week from Lions captain Sam Warburton. I mean, it could have been some other chump named Sam Warburton, but let's assume it's the Welsh flanker. As a Lions fan, I think we're going to get absolutely crushed by the All Blacks but hopefully we can get some dominance up front and cause a memorable upset. A shout out to me mate Sid who recommended this podcast to me and it only took me five months after his recommendation for me to start listening and sorry I'm slightly too poor to support the troops and pay the boys but one day I'll send some sweet dollar to fuel whatever addictions you inevitably spiral into. Cheers for the laughs, Ben.
Starting point is 00:12:07 P.S. You brave old fuckboys gonna be in Edinburgh this year. Well, Ben. What a tremendous message. Yeah, very sports-heavy message. I'll field this one. I support the Denver Broncos because I played with them in Madden 2005-2006 back in the days of Jake Plummer. I learned all of the players' names and became a real-world fan. In response to Super Rugby, I am a Crusaders fan, of course.
Starting point is 00:12:34 They did just get beaten by the Lions, frustratingly. And the All Blacks will beat the Lions 3-0 in the series. And with regards to Todd Flanke, I mean, yeah, he was irreplaceable, but he's also about a billion years old now. It's not like we need him still in the Crusaders. He was a treasure. Was there a more beloved Cantabrian ever? Oh, look, he was, but no, I'll tell you this, Tim.
Starting point is 00:12:58 He was beloved. He was your classic grafter, wasn't he? He was a sports player who was captain of the All Blacks. And if you took away his leadership qualities, he probably wasn't on paper the best player for the position. But such was the indescribable leadership capabilities of him. But since coaching the Crusaders, which he's left, he was a perpetual bridesmaid.
Starting point is 00:13:23 So I think his reputation as the most loved Cantabrians probably waned since the heady days that you're remembering. Richie McCaw, I would imagine, is probably the most loved Cantabrian. They wanted him to be Mayor Guy. There was rioting in the streets.
Starting point is 00:13:39 Potentially me, Guy Montgomery. It's you or Richie, one of the two. Do you reckon it's actually plausible that sam warburton was the one who sent us that 500 donation last week because that would blow my fucking well obviously it was um but do you think it was the same guy from the lions uh look man it seems unlike i feel like i mean dreams are free no doubt sam walburton is only six days younger than me um i'm just on
Starting point is 00:14:10 his wikipedia page it doesn't have a personal life section or a podcast section so i don't know what he's a fan of um i mean as far as because there's no evidence to suggest otherwise, and we only know of the one Sam Warburton, I'm going to say yes. This following email has the following subject title. Worst idea of all time, romancing the bean and captions. Salutations, Tim Timony, Tim Timony, Tim Tim Toree, and Flash, Savior of the universe.
Starting point is 00:14:45 A few thoughts on Romancing the Bean discussions and a movie question. Romancing the Bean does sell candles and gifts but does not have a working website. So this business would fit right in with the businesses and we are your friends. I know you were just reporting the news but I would like to call shenanigans on Lola Juliet's review. Not knowing what to order so I went with something a little safe, a tuna sandwich on ciabatta bread. I contest that tuna is really, if ever, the safe choice. Anything but could be in that. Ever places, wait, what? Ever places is different and often all the, oh, right, there's a Y missing. Every place is different and often the ingredients are not what's
Starting point is 00:15:23 listed on the menu. I'm a big fan of tuna tuna melt but i know there is always a chance of getting something odd and unexpected when i order it it kind of changes it to a tuna surprise doesn't it guy yeah different more podcast related note do you boys ever watch the movie with closed captioning on i am sorry if you've answered this I've been watching a lot of TV and movies while on a spinning bike and it's easy for me to miss dialogue that way. So I've been watching almost everything with captions on.
Starting point is 00:15:52 This has led me to see dialogue often from off screen I would have missed even not on the bike. Thought it might bring something to watch in these trying times of the 40s and 50s. Sentimentally yours, yours Valerie are from Austin Texas PS I've recently took my own film endeavor of watching all the movies US President Carter watched while in office on the same day he did but 40 years later wow I am currently four and a
Starting point is 00:16:18 half months in 26 movies in and it's been great I am excited about this thing I just want to tell someone so sorry for the unnecessary personal information valerie not at all what a fascinating project yeah of all the presidents to trick there must have been his version of like the bowling alley or the basketball court you know i wonder if carter actually did build the cinema there must be a presidential Presidential cinema. Yeah. Was it Jimmy Carter? He went and built houses, didn't he? I think so. He's a Baptist.
Starting point is 00:16:53 I think he actually might have gone on to be a Baptist minister after his presidency. If I'm not much mistaken, I think I came across a news article recently where he went on an aeroplane and shook everyone's hand oh yeah he's a g man oh wait is he still alive or did he recently pass away no he's still alive he it's i'm definitely thinking the right guy really recently president jimmy carter was on an airplane i can't remember what airline it was and he shook it was the article was jimmy carter shakes hands with everyone on
Starting point is 00:17:25 airplane and i was like i appreciate the sentiment jimmy but some of these people probably in a hurry a lot of the younger ones probably didn't even know who he was they're on a fucking plane guy what are they in a hurry for they're probably in the air you know what i'm saying well it's a very disruptive no it strikes me more as something you do on the way on or on the way off when everyone gets excited. Not once you're in the sky and the seatbelt signs off. You're not going to get up and go around and say hi to every single person on the plane. I'd love to shake the hand of Jimmy Carter.
Starting point is 00:17:56 We're going to be not that strong, but very warm. Well, maybe one day we'll get the opportunity. Maybe you won't. Who's to say? He's pretty old i'm not holding my breath hey valerie valerie r sent some money as well i just want to point that out oh it's dope that's all for our charity drive we are in the heart of june right now so we appreciate that what's it like name we can give the june donation month you know like
Starting point is 00:18:24 uh the worst fundraiser of all time we've probably already used that What's the name we can give the June donation month? The worst fundraiser of all time? We've probably already used that. What if we call it Good Boys? The Good Boys Drive. Because we've been Good Boys. The Good Boys Charity June Drive and while we're on the subject Guy have you got a computer by you
Starting point is 00:18:49 or are you on the fast book on your phone I do have a computer by me but I am running it through the very stretched modem that is my phone that's good stuff we need to pick a charity that this money is going to go to also I wanted to bring something up with the fans.
Starting point is 00:19:06 I talked to Guy about this earlier. Now, look, Guy and I have a friend of ours who's an artist who's very good at what she does. And what she does is make music. Beautiful, sweet, sweet music. And she decided to take a punt on her own kind of career and skills by moving to Los Angeles, California. And she's trying to make her, you know, big way in the world.
Starting point is 00:19:30 And God willing, she will. And that woman's name is Chelsea Jade. And something terrible happened to her. So she's like, she's pretty much living what she is. She's living hand to mouth at the moment, just trying to make it all, you know, fit together and work in Los Angeles. And she dropped her hard drive on a hard wooden floor, which basically contained...
Starting point is 00:19:51 I specifically told her not to do. I would like to point that out. You've always said that to her. She'd drop it on the carpet, CJ. Yeah, if you must. I mean, what I was trying to say was don't drop it at all but alas so yeah she um she took it and she was like distraught because this is represents you know potentially kind of hundreds of hours of her work that's on this thing and it's art and it's and
Starting point is 00:20:18 it's music and it's it's pictures and all sorts of things and uh yeah she was not too happy about it and then she took it to like a data recovery center and they're going to charge you $1,200. And I don't think she can afford, or actually, fuck, maybe it was more than that. I can't remember, but it was a crap load of money. And what I thought would be an idea in my infinite wisdom is for us to use part of the money from the June drive
Starting point is 00:20:44 to help Chelsea Jade out, to use part of the money from the the june drive to um help chelsea jade out particularly in light of the fact that we got that very generous donation that was right on the cusp from sam well from lions tour captain sam warburton that's right so i thought we could probably use 500 us from our total pool which that that donation was going into to help Chelsea Jade out I'm going to give you some money personally as well if she does decide to do this this you know data recovery
Starting point is 00:21:12 she hasn't said anywhere a lot of people have asked her to do like a GoFundMe or something maybe I should get her to do that before I put this episode out to see if she's going to do it because we can reach a few people but if you go to at Chelsea Jade on twitter you'll find her there and you should check out her music what else you should do yeah go check out chelsea jade on spotify and have a dance because i'll bet you that's what winds up happening she is a truly the life of the party
Starting point is 00:21:39 a single she just put out great video video. That's right. Anyway. Great, great earnest update, Tim. Earnest Tim, that's what they call you. Yep. I got one here, Tim. I'm only on Friendship 16. But I'm wondering something. The movie sounds like a real no country for old men or Gatsby examination of the meaninglessness
Starting point is 00:22:01 of not only this type of music, but the lives and artistic expression of the artist so the main character's bullshit attempt to make something good of course must be rewarded with a payoff that is shit that's like an
Starting point is 00:22:14 opening paragraph from a film essay that's wound up in our inbox is that the whole that's the entirety of the message that's the whole message brief and surly I like
Starting point is 00:22:24 it yeah and the shit by the way they've used the emoticon or emoji they haven't written the word shit meaning that they didn't curse their entire message mad respect how do you feel about the fact that sir patrick stewart is going to be oh my god that's good sorry i'll share what i've just opened in a second. How do you feel about Sir Patrick Stewart playing the poo in the Emoji movie? Man, I feel fine about it. You know, do what you got to do. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:22:54 If I had to watch it every week, I'm sure my opinion would change. But as it stands, I'm all for that kind of decision making. Patrick Stewart, he did a shooey recently. A what now? A shoo shoeie what's a shoeie it's where you i don't even know if it was his show someone oh when you drink from a shoe you drink a beer out of a shoe yeah that was a thing bloody back when i used to visit denedem when i had some friends there at university sort of half decade even longer like eight years ago or something that thing's still going, huh?
Starting point is 00:23:26 The kids are still into it, eh? Yeah, boy. Dude, I've just opened an email which has the most tremendous bit of fan art I think I've seen maybe ever. It's so good. It's like a cartoon caricature face of both you and i you look you've got one of those classic guy montgomery like forced smiles on almost a wince but like a full mouthed what do you mean a classic guy montgomery forced smile no i don't mean when you're really smiling but when you're doing like comedy you know you can make your face do this amazing thing where
Starting point is 00:24:04 it's kind of like your eyebrows go up like they're concerned, but you make your mouth do a smile, so it looks like someone's got a gun to your head. That might just be how I smile. I don't know how I feel about this statement until I see the image. I see your real smiles all the time. They're a whole other affair. Those are my fake smiles.
Starting point is 00:24:20 The ones that you think are real, those are definitely the fake ones. Oh, God, I've got it all backwards. Well, then I've got one of the most genuine smiles from Guy Montgomery captured in two dimensions and also a cartoon of my face where I look exceptionally tired, a donning a beanie, holding the knife. I finally just noticed the knife is there,
Starting point is 00:24:41 just looking sleep-deprived and worried, which is, that's classic Tim Batt. Now, we've also got brady the rat king we've got a soccer ball we've got new zealand we've got blaze pizza man presents with a with lips on it like a kiss can i ask you can i oh it's so good can i ask you a question tim yeah yeah yeah have you heard of the expression a picture's worth a thousand words i'll send it to you but i just want to get people juiced up and excited about this image because it is tremendous you got me very excited while you do that tim i'm going to read out a message here oh hold up bro sorry to interrupt you but it is it's got some text um attached with the thing oh wow cody uh oh boy there's some things that are in the way.
Starting point is 00:25:26 Hello, Karatum and Gaekwondo. Oh, Karatum. Got it. I've been recently, I've quite recently decided to hashtag support the troops via Patreon and I'm looking forward to consuming that sweet DLC that's downloadable content. Wait, is it? Yeah, I think so. As I was hashtag supporting the troops, however,
Starting point is 00:25:45 I realized that most people seem to be supporting the troops by contributing donations of the financial variety and assumed that surely the troops must have more money than they know what to do with by now. Not really. I thought about what the hashtag troops might be lacking and came up with art. To that end, I chucked together a little bit of fan art for the party.
Starting point is 00:26:03 Hope you enjoy a chaotic collage of some of the more memorable stops on your journey. That's all for now. Hope you boys are still loving every moment, living every day. Sincerely, Cody Forks. Yes, pronounced like your utensil. P.S. I had the joy of seeing Guy perform at the Comedy Club in Toronto last summer and was wondering if Tim had any plans of ever visiting out Canada way. I'm sure I could use your autograph alongside guys on
Starting point is 00:26:25 my copy of grown-ups too no immediate plans but god damn with this art cody maybe i'll come and visit you crash on your couch cody yourself at home put my feet up i i think it was the crimson wave comedy show that you saw me perform i remember signing your your bloody dvd after the after the show did you realize you're dealing with such a good artist? Well, I haven't seen the art yet, Tim. Yeah, that's true. That's fair. Thank you so much, Cody. I don't know what I'm thanking you for yet,
Starting point is 00:26:54 but I'm grateful that you went to the trouble of making it. This one here, while you please forward me the art, Tim. But listen, because it's addressed to both of us. Hey, Timbo and GuyGuy. To settle a hotbed of intrigue and wondering amongst my flatmates and i we're wondering whether you two will be doing a director's commentary style episode the worst thing of all time for season three as you did in seasons one and two liam fret not my friend we are most definitely going to be doing this as soon
Starting point is 00:27:21 as we are in the same place again we were going to do it in sydney or melbourne but we kind of oh it's sydney actually but a kind of like needs to be something you know very much at home i think i think we need to be as comfy as possible i think it we need to clear it's an afternoon's work you know it's not something you want to cram in and rush off so but don't you question limb yes we know we are where we've missed the ordinary 40 uh when we would usually record it uh that's life as our good friend frank sinatra would say this is a funny song isn't it yeah that's well actually if you listen to frank sinatra he'll tell you it's not just him saying it that's actually what all the people say you're riding high in april do you know what
Starting point is 00:28:12 happens after that tim what you'll get shot down in may oh boy i have a message which is so long so long i don't know what to do with it how long it's kind of in three parts um oh i say oh wait he sent the same message but there were typos that he's edited out i think okay here we go what a show you're working i love it dear tim tam shim sham and that guy just listened to the friendzone 38 and dropped a jaw when the boy from missouri outed tim as a continent hopping academic and thought i should mention that tim also has another teaching gig what is everyone talking about a month or so ago i picked up tim from the airport and killed some time with him before he had to start his new gig as a professor of some sort of uh ethno botany or plant sciences subject which i was amazed at because a i didn't know he knew about
Starting point is 00:29:07 that kind of stuff and b if he was going to teach some kind of science i would have thought it would be about birds because i'm pretty sure i've heard him mention beautiful birds or lovely birds in at least a couple of occasions i might mention that this was a dream but then again i might not even if this was a dream it was it's further evidence of tim's academically oriented commitment and his mastery of not just intercontinental travel but also his ability to pass to the dream world of others and his quest to bring knowledge to the people anyway i just want to let tim know that it was fun if not slightly awkward time together as we strolled the streets of some anonymous sub-urban dreamscape and I tried really hard not to talk about the worst idea
Starting point is 00:29:48 of all time because nobody likes a fanboy. At least they're in the friend zone, I guess. Anyway, thanks for picking some low tier, sorry, anyway, I'll be flicking some low tier Patreon cash your way momentarily as a hearty thanks for the buckets of chuckles. Thank you for everything, boys, and a special hello to Mr Halifax Montgomery, Guy Alexander, in case he feels left out by this Tim Cedric message. I'm currently living in the past, only on Season 3, Episode 35,
Starting point is 00:30:13 so if this gets ruined in Friend Zone, it will be a nice personal Easter egg, hiding in plain sight, but in the future, for me to find slash listen to. Second message. At the risk of overdoing it, I'll send another message. Hold on the heels of the last. A mere day after proposing that tim's professorial duties should extend into the subject of ornithology i listened to season 3 episode 35 the briefcase wherein several to many birds
Starting point is 00:30:36 are featured as co-hosts of sorts i'm sorry to say it but i think i may need to withhold my letter of recommendation on behalf of tim in favor of guy's application for the position that guy sure seems to know the difference between swans and geese not to put the two of you against each other in a bird battle but i'm wondering if each of you would show your true feelings about birds of our fair friends and if you were each a bird what type of bird would you be and if you were walking through a park and came across your bird salves, would you be afraid of yourselves or each other? Inquiring minds want to know. Your friend, Alexander Jones. Not that Alexander Jones from Santa Cruz.
Starting point is 00:31:13 Calla fuck yeah. Wow. Big message. The first thing that they were referring to was in that old Friendsite episode, someone was convinced that you were a professor at a university. You remember that? Yeah. That was a big message, alex neither confirmed nor did my i won't do anything um and yeah i mean i i don't think knowing the difference between a swan and a goose really you know warrants um uh positioning at a tertiary institute, I think it barely warrants mentioning on a podcast,
Starting point is 00:31:50 to be completely honest. Sorry, I've just opened this fan art, so my brain's gone a bit sideways. This is incredible. How good is it? It's beautiful. It's such a cool style, and it's loaded with Easter eggs. It's amazing.
Starting point is 00:32:04 But bring it back to the central question what bird would you be if you were a bird guy oh it's a tough one um alive or dead sure so i can be an extinct bird yep i would be native to Aotearoa, the Haast's eagle. You're not aggressive enough. You're too friendly. They lived on moa, Tim. I know, I know, but I'm just, it's a majestic bird. I think they're fantastic.
Starting point is 00:32:39 I just don't know if it's you. But you know what? I'm sorry, I shouldn't interject. The question was asked of yourself. The largest, if they were alive today, they'd be the largest living vulture. So I don't know if that makes them aggressive or not, but I certainly think it makes them pretty bloody awesome.
Starting point is 00:32:58 Largest living eagle. They apparently used to take babies before they died out. Scary stuff. I think I would be also native to New Zealand, maybe a cute little kakapo, just kicking around, being curious, picking things to bits, you know? That's quite fun.
Starting point is 00:33:17 I quite like that. Have you got any other messages there, my friend? Yeah, I've got one more. I've got to go, but I'll read this one message and then we'll get on with our respective lives. This is a cute one in reference to something we just discussed. Dearest Tim and Guy, I don't know how or even if asked and answered is used in the course of everyday life, but in my world, as an attorney,
Starting point is 00:33:37 we use that phrase as an objection during depositions mostly. It's used when opposing counsel asks a question that is either the exact same or incredibly similar to one before and the witness has already provided the answer. I don't know that lawyers listened. P.S. I'm overdue
Starting point is 00:33:52 for my yearly donation but will wait until after June when the money goes to you. For me, you two are my favourite charity. That comes from a legal counsel in California,
Starting point is 00:34:04 San Francisco. Why do I get the feeling that one day, and put a pin in this, fans, we're going to need Legal Council in California? I think I know why, Tim. Spidey sense. I feel it in my bones. Well, always a pleasure. Thank you so much for all of your messages.
Starting point is 00:34:21 Thank you for any donations. Remember, they're all going to the good boys charity june drive yeah and just go if you go to facebook.com slash worst idea of all time i've pinned to the top our discussion on uh what charity should get the money so just if you've got a suggestion in there that you're already seeing you like like it or if it's not there add something um i think like yeah we want to make it community-ish, you know, decided, but probably the way that these things work, I know I'll probably have the final say, but we want it to be someone who or something rather
Starting point is 00:34:53 that'll actually get good effects from it and maybe be a bit global. Absolutely. I don't know. People are knocking at my door now, Tim. We're going to go to a space museum here in Carnarvon. That's where you've got to dash off. All right. Well, it brings me great pleasure to say this
Starting point is 00:35:09 as the final words of this podcast. You're a real piece of shit, Montgomery. Hey, man. Well, I can't wait to send you a picture of the space museum. I'll tell you if it's good. I think it's going to be a bit like the Museum of Jurassic Technology, only without any level of knowingness see ya well it's the friend zone with tim and guy come to the friend zone and have a good time
Starting point is 00:35:35 yes it's the friend zone with tim and guy because making friends is the best idea of all time

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.