The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Ninety Eight
Episode Date: April 27, 2020Bit of a big announcement at the end of this one so stay tuned till the end! The boys are doing well; Tim's eating porridge and a friend directed Guy in a movie that he doesn't remember starring in? A... fantastic dad is going Worst Idea method on a film with his teenage daughter and now HATES THE MOON! Also, if you met Guy and were worried you weren't cool enough, rest assured - you f***ing are! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Well, it's the Friend Zone with Tim and Guy. It's the Friend Zone. We're gonna have a good time. It's the Friend Zone with Tim and Guy because making friends is the best idea of all time. Friend Zone.
Hey, Zana, ho, Zana, Zana, Zana, hey. I thought you were going to join in there.
I felt like you took the melody in a different direction,
and I joined in when you dropped it.
I would have gone like this.
I've said it before and I'll say Hosanna, Hosanna.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, Monty.
You got some good pipes.
Thank you.
It's good to hear you.
It's good to see you.
How are you?
Likewise.
I am in pretty good fetal, Tim.
I'm in a pretty good mood.
I've cracked open a new book. I'm drinking a hearty glass of filtered water.
It's a sunny afternoon here in Auckland.
And look, man, life's, you know, life could be worse.
Life could be a heck of a lot worse.
How are you?
Yeah, I'm doing well.
Just had a delicious porridge or oatmeal for our international listeners
and a small cup of coffee.
So starting the day off right.
I like that.
It is eight minutes after 12 p.m.
and I'm in a dressing gown,
which is also a testament to the kind of day that I'm rocking currently.
I would say a testament to the kind of life that the world is leading presently.
More accurately. I think it's totally permissible to be in a dressing gown at all hours people are going to tell you it's
very important you get dressed those people work for big cloth they're going to want to see you in
a variety of different clothes they may be on a couple of fabric softening companies they want
you to put them in a cycle all you need is one pair of teddy undies and a
dressing gown you're set what you need is a pair of teddy grunts big enough wherever around the
house and show them what you got we've been wearing too many clothes for too long so let's
all strip down to grits And sing a song
Again, I kind of lost the melody there
Hey, I like that
I like your energy
And I like your attitude
And I like your outlook
They say your attitude determines your latitude
I'm high as a motherfucker
Fly as a motherfucker
I dig that
I can't log into
I've been desperately trying to log into the Patreon
to fish out some messages while I'm talking to you,
but I can't gain ingress.
Well, Tim, do not fret.
I have an announcement for you
and for anyone listening along.
The worst idea of all time is finally on
one of the worst social platforms available,
twitter.com.
We've joined the fucking. We've joined the swamp and the water is swampy.
We thought this would be a really funny time to make an account.
That's right.
How long have we been doing this?
Six years?
We're up to year number six.
Six or seven, yeah.
Oh, that sucks. The desirability of Twitter as a platform has never been lower, Six years? We're up to like year number six. Six or seven, yeah.
Oh, that sucks.
The desirability of Twitter as a platform has never been lower,
which seems like a good time for us to step in and really boost it back up.
Before we made this worst idea of all time Twitter account,
we also invested a lot of capital in Twitter.com.
So here's hoping that we and only we can salvage what is a roundly disregarded and disrespected platform.
I'm just hoping this goes better for us than the time we put all our chips on Vine and famously had all of our creative energy and resources into making those seven-second videos that got deleted.
Absolutely.
If you want to follow us on Twitter, we are at TWIOATpod. of making those seven-second videos, they got deleted. Absolutely.
If you want to follow us on Twitter, we are at TWIOATpod.
That's the worst idea of all time, pod.
And I would actually like to open our correspondence in the friend zone today, Tim, with a DM.
Our DMs are always open at TWIOATpod.
What if people send us hate mail?
Do we close them off?
We let it through.
We let it through the gate and then we look at it.
You know, we could,
I think you and I could do with a bit of hate mail at this point,
to be honest.
I think it probably would do us a bit of good.
Well,
all I ask you to do is travel back in in time to 2014 2015 when we were given a lengthy interview on the av
club by uh an interviewer slash writer named kenneth arthur and i direct you to the comment
section of that interview if you really want to uh read some people piling piling some vitriol on
the on the boys as recently as five years ago that that's the spot. Otherwise, if you do have anything to send to us, our DMs are open.
And this is a motherfucking testament to that because it's an essay and it reads as such.
Boys, boys, Tim O' Tam and Tour Guide.
Oh boy, oh boy.
I just finished season four.
What the fuck?
What a journey.
This letter might get a little long because i need
to connect some proverbial twine here so if you don't mind i will indulge and given its quarantine
time then there was really no excuse to not spend the last waking 53 plus hours of my life listening
well done and i'll send you a little pretty penny for your generous work you made on behalf of us
all plebs quick question have the frosty fellas ever considered starting
a cult and if so what would your initiation ceremony consist of would we have to change our
names should we answer that or should i continue uh i think yes absolutely i think that's actually
one of the it's a tried and true method
when you start off at a cult
to get people to change their names.
I think it's so that you're stripping them
of all of the stuff they had in their previous life.
So you've got to break them down.
It's like drama school.
You've got to completely destroy the individual
and then rebuild them in your image.
That's right.
So in our initiation ceremony,
I guess we'll consist of burning all
of your possessions and identifying papers and documentation on a bonfire a massive bonfire on
which we would also burn uh i guess just trash we burn rubbish in our cult. It's very wasteful. I discovered the potty.
In fact, the hypnotic voice of Guy Monstrosity
and his aerobesized vernacular via the Daily Zeitgeist,
which is an American comedy and current events podcast.
If anyone wants to check it out, they are.
Very well known for having Guy Montgomery on four times
and having Tim Baird on zero times.
That's right.
That's one of their calling cards.
Long may they reign.
For which my wife and I are, in all caps,
HARDCORE dedicated listeners.
I'm Australian and she's Swedish
but we're living in
Vienna, a place noted in the
pod as number one most livable above
Malbs. But you'll rest assured
you are not missing out on much.
Now that you can know that it too
has its many cons, aside from its very
fresh drinking water, great healthcare system
and very punctual public transport
I have to say, I found the worst idea of all time very relatable.
I don't know how many of your one libertarian listeners can say that.
Besides from being an Antibodean expat of the same age,
trying to find ways to remain in contact with my best friends in Sydney,
my father, who lives near Auckland on Waiheke,
and his partner follow their own incredibly strict daily film-watching schedule.
This is followed by a film club over coffee and a fruit salad the next morning,
a club only open to those two and whoever happens to be staying with them at the time.
They often re-watch the same films from their collection
and are in the process of going through their entire catalogue of films,
a modest growing 400 or so.
On top of all this, he's filling out a detailed Excel spreadsheet
that describes the film,
its duration,
its meteoric scores,
the date it was watched,
what else was seen that day or night,
who else was in attendance,
and the points made during film club.
That's a lot.
I've actually flirted with the idea in the past
to start a podcast with my dad that
dives into this obsessive but delightful engagement with cinema as like in your conversations film
club can quickly deviate away from the said film and into any murky political swamp or dark
cul-de-sac you've inspired me to maybe just do so so thank you on top of all this you would not
believe how ecstatic i was to find out that his partner supervised a PhD candidate who is a filmmaker whose film apparently starred none other than the legend Guy Montgomery himself.
What?
Had you not pre-read that bit?
I haven't pre-read any of this.
On top of all this, you would not believe how ecstatic I was to find out that his partner supervised...
What movie are you in?
Come on, Monty.
You're holding out on us, my boy.
I can only think of one, and it's not good.
It was called...
Watch yourself.
Vermillion.
A partner who supervised a PhD candidate
who was a filmmaker whose film apparently starred...
Supervised a PhD candidate who's a filmmaker.
Hmm.
Anyway, go on, go on yourself.
Can't wrap his brain around it, around the concept.
So if in case we do not just happen to cross paths,
and before I let this ramble on too much longer,
I just wanted to say, next time my wife and I are in New Zealand visiting my dad,
we'd love to have you guys over to the property on Waiheke
for a watch and partake in Film Club.
Or, if it's too difficult to hop on the ferry because you might be too busy,
you must let us at the very least buy you a beer.
It would mean the world to my wife and I.
And if you find yourselves in Central or Eastern Europe, or better yet, Vienna, we'd for sure show you around the birthplace of psychoanalysis.
Oh, what fun we'd have.
You are good boys.
You are the best boys.
Congrats on the great podcast.
Say my name.
Congrats on the great podcast.
Say my name, Alexander JW,
with a hearty 19.37 euros donated,
rounded up in USD to 20.
Huck.
Thank you so much, Alexander JW,
for that lengthy correspondence.
I really like the sound of your old man there's something about starting a message with have you guys ever considered starting a cult
and ending with hey you should definitely come to a remote island and hang out maybe overnight
with my parents and i it is to be commended uh sit doesn't sit super well with me i like it
i like it a lot um yeah well thank you so much for
that alexander i hope that you're you're holding up all right over there in vienna and i'm sure
actually that your dad and his partner are doing pretty well on uh why hickey because i was talking
to someone on why hickey yesterday and this will date the podcast horribly but no known cases of COVID-19 there.
What a place to be.
Let us knock on some wood.
Do you know what the film was?
Was it the one that you suspected?
Is it Vermillion?
Is that what it's called?
Well, no, there's no way of knowing.
I don't think so because the director of that film is a senior citizen and I think actually teaches film.
Was that the short film that, a senior citizen and I think actually teaches film. So...
Was that the short film that...
What was the short film you were in that went to the film festivals?
I was in a short film called Return that I wrote with my friend Ryan Herron.
I did star in that.
I mean, that's the only film role I would say I have that I undeniably starred in.
But I don't know that Ryan is studying a PhD or ever did.
I reckon Ryan's holding out on you and he is the phd candidate perhaps it is so anyhow i love that i love the length of it i really liked
having a whole meaty thing to get my teeth into have you successfully cracked the here's another
one this is from Will via Patreon.
Patreon has a message service which I've been neglecting for ages,
which is fucking terrible of me.
So this one comes to us from nine months in the past.
Do you remember nine months ago, Guy?
Do I what?
I was just then I was having sex with my partner.
And now look at me, pregnant, burst man glowing for how for how good for how good a mood i'm in i'm not being funny dear tempo and fast times at ridgemont guy thank
you so much for the hours of entertainment but also fuck you each year i participate in a fantasy
football league with my friends from college,
where the winner gets money.
Hashtag pay the boys.
And the last place finished is punished.
Maybe that's finisher.
The punishments have become harsher and weirder over time.
We started with the loser being forced to take the ACT,
a standardized test for high school students,
and to toot the score on himself if he scored below a threshold.
And things got worse from there.
This last year, I was named Punishment Czar,
wherein I was responsible for deciding the punishment
at the outset of the season.
I love everything about where this is going so far.
As a fan of the podcast, I knew what I had had to do the loser would have to watch the same movie
as voted on by the league each sunday for the entirety of the nfl regular season because karma
is a real goddamn saucy harlot i lost and i had to watch and review the emoji movie 17 times that's
crazy because this is before obviously we only we watched it for the patreon
watch like uh six six six ish weeks ago something like that and it was not good
holy shit you boys are brave boys the runtime is a mere 91 minutes but during these
1547 minutes i grew to despise James Corden and TJ Miller with every
fibre of my being. The last
viewing was more than half a year ago,
but I still get visibly flustered when I hear
their voices. We will be repeating
the punishment this year. The poor bastard will be
watching a Zac Efron classic.
The director's cut of Baywatch.
Anyway, you two
should stop. It can't be good for the
mental well-being, and I am concerned.
Keep fighting the good fight. Say my
name. Say my name. Will McCartney.
Will McCartney?
Oh, I'm sorry, it's not McCartney. No, no, no, hold on.
I said his name wrong. I added another
syllable that isn't there. It's Will
McCarty.
Will McCarty.
McCarty. Like,
oi, me hearties, but Will McCarty. Will McCarty.arty like oi me hearties
but Will
McCarty
Will McCarty
well thank you
Will McCarty
I love
I love
that you
initiated that
as a punishment
and it was only right
that you were the one
to suffer at the hands of it
I mean
literally as soon
as you introduced
the idea of a fantasy
football league
with a punishment
for the loser
I knew that you
were going to be
suffering some sort
of humiliating
shame and um i mean unfortunately the nfl season as all sports uh won't be going
ahead this year so someone's going to have to wait a while to watch baywatch over and over again
you just do it but speaking of speaking of doing something for fun this actually i'm very grateful
that this correspondence reminded me of
i've been in communication on my own twitter tim with a guy named ryan who messaged me on april
15th 2020 with the following words hey guy are we allowed to read this out absolutely
okay cool me and my 15 year old daughter just watched the incredible pilot for your in terms
tv show the worst idea of all time the show along with the quarantine has inspired us to show
solidarity with a mission to watch an awful movie three times a day for five days do you have any
advice for us idiots determined to perform this stupid stupid task to which i said ryan this is
a beautiful and terrifying message.
Might I recommend thinking twice about this endeavor?
And if that doesn't turn you off, choosing something you both want to watch
but haven't yet seen.
Aim for something good.
Please, for the love of God, aim for something good.
Something good, eh?
Adventures of Pluto Nash.
Got it.
Thanks for the sage advice and i said in astronaut costumes let me know how you get on day one complete score so far nine out of 12
thumbs we're not going to argue it's a great movie but it seems competently made
also
progress is being made
on the astronaut costumes
we'll report back tomorrow
it's 9% Rotten Tomatoes
score seems a bit harsh
honestly
to think we almost
chose Suburban Commando
and then
3 hours later
let me back up a bit
it is competently shot
the cast is great
and the set and costume
design is well done
and incredibly detailed, despite an inexplicably strong 1970s influence.
Not a bad thing, just weird.
Competently written? No, not at all.
The dialogue specifically is terrible, and Pluto is definitely a Gary Sue.
Still, I've seen worse movies with higher ratings.
A Gary Sue, I actually had to look that up.
It follows, i think the original
coined phrase was a mary sue and that is a was a female character in a film who was sort of
overly competent and you know uh capable of everything to the point that it almost removes
interest or is unbelievable anyway i said i have to tell tim this is happening big fan of adapting
the thumbs up thumbs down rating system.
Are you documenting the experience anywhere outside of these messages?
Is it functioning as a bonding exercise,
bringing you and your daughter closer together or driving you further apart?
Also, nine out of 12 seems astronomically high.
Definitely bringing us closer together so far.
We're actually having a blast.
We both have notes separate from these messages
and can compile them in a document when we're done,
if you're interested.
In regards to our high rating,
we both realize our very low expectations
were a major influence on our sympathetic rating.
Also, I feel our rating may be more on our enjoyment of the movie
and less on its actual quality.
Curious to see where the rating goes in the next four days.
This is very...
I feel an undue amount of responsibility for what we put out in
the world you know so yeah i'm just gonna sort of um run you through a few of the dispatches i had
because we had vaguely lengthy correspondence uh is a proud moment from father ryan my daughter
today quote if saban the power r company, tried to make a Blade Runner,
it would turn out like this.
End quote.
That's great.
Yeah,
I think he was really proud of that.
He wrote Chef's Kiss afterwards.
That's excellent.
A day after that,
I loathe this film now.
Do you think watching it at 1.5 speed is cheating?
I'm very tempted.
I said,
sadly,
that qualifies as cheating,
and then laughed maniacally in his face.
Have you seen it nine times?
On number nine now,
our brains seem to be rejecting the movie,
like an immunological response.
Our eyes are pointed at the screen,
but it's like staring at a wall.
Yeah.
It's good to hear our own experiences reflected from a third party
just to know that what we went through is replicable you know it's like we were the
initial clinical trial and it's like don't worry these guys weren't outliers um this is what
happens to the human mind when you do this to it absolutely 100 so i've responded to that pretty
much saying exactly the same thing and i encourage them to look for background characters,
invest in second or third tier characters,
or choose one featured performance and only watch them.
But you need to train yourself to find other things to engage with.
It's, you know, that's a point in film criticism
where you're really engaging with the parts of the product
that the director was less likely to think about.
And Ryan said, we'll start naming background characters good idea thanks and then sent what i can only describe
as a sort of disheveled photo saying 12 plutos down three to go today we had moon pies during
our 11th viewing moon pies do make a brief appearance in the movie here's a picture of
me enjoying one looking disheveled from gnashing too hard the next day uh moon pies the little um chocolate covered biscuit with marshmallow
what we would call a mellow puff basically absolutely our long nightmare is finally over
i found out the word print version of the movie was nearly three hours long. Hashtag release the Underwood cut.
Seriously, though, I think I hate the moon now.
This movie could not have happened without it.
Final score with a possible range of negative 60 thumbs to 60 thumbs up.
The Adventures of Pluto Nash gets one thumb.
That doesn't sound right because he didn't it's oh wait because you go backwards you can take them off yeah if you have negative thumbs that's right one thumb wow so he's come
out at a very similar situation to what we went through with the turtles fuck man that's cool
what a journey what a cool thing to be able to do with your kid as well,
especially at around those teenage years.
There's no way that I would have done that with one of my folks.
I certainly would have taken their mind off whatever global situation we're all facing as well.
Because you are so deep in the trenches of this decision you've made,
all you can see in front of you
is the prospect of watching Pluto Nash over and over.
Anyway, I thought that was very ill-advised,
but also very funny.
Would you have watched Pluto Nash with Charlotte or Steven
for five days, three times a day?
I would have.
Neither of them would have.
I think you'll remember my dad was on a friend zone once right
yeah even my telephone conceptually i don't think he understands the value of this and that's fair
enough but i think yeah i don't i don't think i could have got that over the line with either of
them would either of your parents have done that with you i don't think so no i think they would have i mean i'm just remembering back to when i was 15 um i i wouldn't
have done it but that's absolutely on me uh my parents are both very cool but also i think they
would have been up to their fucking eyeballs and work yeah yeah i mean it's a unique situation
we're all in it is it is um hard to replicate matt writes and this is oh this is only
a month ago hey tim and guy off the bat you're both tremendous this is from patreon by the way
guys so this is someone who is forking over money on a consistent basis to us you're delightfully
witty outlandishly critical and welcome voices to a new zealander living in new york off the bat i would
never dare deem myself a decider i just think what you guys are doing is great and i want to help out
where i can so i just want to for those who who aren't familiar we've got a tier of support which
is ten dollars a month or more you get put in the deciders club on patreon which means for the bonus episodes you're actually part
of um picking well you are the council yeah that's closing the title watch you are one of
the deciders at the time of writing covid19 is weird i work in a hospital and that's also weird
uh both of these both of those are obscene understatements, but it needs to be said,
just like having, sorry,
but it needs to be said,
having just picked up your podcast,
you have both created the perfect kind of weird,
sourcing the food fights of the cinematic universe
that we need, need to be comically and brutally,
yet honestly, reviewed.
I've been dipping in and out of the no man's land
New York City has transformed
into involuntary slash getting
redeployed, yep we've switched to a
militaristic lexicon now, into
a COVID patient care, into
COVID patient care, which another
understatement, has been sobering
let alone that, having had depression
since before living memory, I can
depress myself, thank you very much, and
yet you are both providing the perfect medium
to step the fuck back from the news.
And remember, there is a plethora of goddamn bananas art out there.
Keep up the good work.
I hope this helps.
Cheers and stay well, Matt.
Thank you so much, Matt.
You keep up the great work.
And I hope that this helps, my dude.
Yeah.
Thank you very much, Matt.
And I hope that this helps, my dude.
Yeah.
Thank you very much, Matt. It feels sort of kind of vaguely seedy to be taking praise and encouragement for our good work from someone who is genuinely on the front line of fighting a virus that I'm famously against.
Don't be too hasty there, guy.
I'm just saying we're all doing our part, you know.
We're all doing our bit.
guy i'm just saying we're all doing our part you know we're all doing our bit and yes admittedly matt is dealing in covid patient care in the epicenter of the work like the biggest hot spot
of the virus in the world but we're also doing our part by being in dressing gowns talking into
microphones at noon on a saturday that's true actually i hadn't really looked at it from that
angle tim but you're right i was too quick to poo-poo our contribution and probably too early to put matt on a pedestal as well matt
why don't you take off your scrubs pick up a microphone plug it into a recording device and
sort your fucking self out mate it's a disgrace what you're doing wandering around the streets
of new york city helping out those in need There aren't enough podcasts in the world.
I feel like you're usually pretty good at walking the line,
but you went from one side of the tightrope and jumped over the tightrope onto the other wrong side
and you're still falling without even landing on the tightrope.
No, I'm okay.
Tim and Guy.
Micah here.
I'm a big fan of your podcasts.
It brings me such joy.
Therefore, I was absolutely electric when I learned a few months back
that the talented Guy Montgomery was looking to perform a bit of the old
standing up comedy in my own town of Atlanta, Georgia.
And thanks to Guy's quick response to my Twitter DMs,
I was able to see the man himself and even shake his hand.
And his friend Kent.
Oh, Kent.
And his friend Kent.
I hope I'm not misremembering the name.
You very much are.
But not by much.
You just put an extra T on it.
His name is Ken.
As a southern gent without heaps of spare cash
to spend on travel,
I felt pretty sure I might never see
the frosty fella's life.
To get this rare and precious Guymont sighting
meant the world to me.
However, I'm left feeling that in my attempts
at polite and non-grading online conversation
combined with my absolutely starstruck condition
upon meeting Guy in the physical world,
I may have come off as a bit of a square.
That natural little...
I can assure you, you didn't.
That natural little bit of social anxiety
was exacerbated by the fact that Guy's opening joke that night in Atlanta was about how unskilled American men, of which I am one, are at conversation.
Oh, no, you got the wrong end of the stick, my man.
That is a joke that I've been honing for years and was certainly not.
I wish I was that quick on my feet.
There was a direct response to our engagement, but it was just part of the game plan before I'd even ran into you.
So I've just got to get this off my chest.
Guy, all evidence to the contrary.
I'm a cool fucking guy.
I crack open a few brews in the evenings and sometimes in the daytime.
I'm quite a good listener.
I've grown my hair quite long and it looks fucking cash.
He's not wrong.
Go off, King. I'm a sweet little long and it looks fucking cash. He's not wrong. Go off, King.
I'm a sweet little cat and loving regular-sized wife.
I'm all good, my man.
Not corny at all.
Real shit.
Yours work brings such peace and joy to the world.
Thank you so much.
Well, Micah, I remember vividly meeting you.
I was actually having a pretty off experience at that specific comedy show in Atlanta.
And knowing you were there uh lifted my spirits and i'm embarrassed to say actually caused me
my own little burst of anxiety because it was really like unfamiliar not home terrain for me
as a performer it was the night before i was taping a set for a comedy central digital release
that i think's coming out next month in May
and I hadn't figured out what jokes to do
and when I tried to enter the bar,
a very surly bouncer told me I needed to pay him $10
and I said,
oh, no, sorry,
there must be some sort of misunderstanding.
I'm performing.
And he said,
I don't give a fuck what you're doing.
Everyone pays $10.
Like without any sort of understanding for you know just with no
no empathy or you know baseline sort of you give him 10 bucks so yeah i paid him ten dollars
because i had to do the show i had to run the material anyway and then so i was like i was
really off balance and feeling kind of uneasy and in a very foul mood and then knowing that michael
was there i was like oh man
and this guy i knew he traveled across town somewhere i was like and now i have to
make sure you know like i i you know what it's like if we're doing a live show there's a certain
amount of pride involved where it's like you want to put on a good performance for the people who've
gone to the trouble to come and see you um Of course. I waited about two hours to perform,
and the host just became unbearably drunk throughout the show
and wouldn't do jokes but just talk at length about their life.
He bullied me for my age, I think.
Anyway, it was a hell of a night.
Micah, I never doubted you were cool,
but thank you so much for your correspondence,
and I hope that in addressing these things,
you feel a weight has
been lifted off your chest because um you know like i think i think often with my own experiences
of anxiety identifying the thing that's making you anxious is a fantastic pathway to relieving
some of it i think carrying it and the idea that you have to pretend like it's all good when
something's not is is what can exacerbate it so i hope that your writing of and the reading of this message
goes some way to alleviating that fear i always thought you were cool but this this message has
only amplified my belief that you are one hell of a dude i'm gonna make a suggestion guy that we
curtail the transmissions for this friend zone and perhaps if you've got the
time that we maybe do another friend zone after we finish this one um but before we do that i don't
know if that's going to happen or not and you've given me no visual indication as we're on a video
message right now if that's a good or bad idea which i like keep me guessing treat me mean keep me keen um should we make a little
announcement or quite a big announcement on on the the back of this yeah i think i think that's
a fantastic idea with with pleasure i'm pregnant with guy's baby and we're so no we did it we biology what you have to do is find an egg yeah put it in someone yeah and then fertilize the egg
and we did it we filled the world baby tim's having my baby and we're gonna call it max
that's a good name i would like to call our baby mac um so guy came up with the brilliant idea
uh he's making too many jokes i guess i'll take the serious end of what's going on here actually
i before you do i didn't come up with this idea this was um a piece of correspondence from a
friend named thomas dalo who messaged me a week or two ago and said you fuckers better be watching Home Alone 3
every day of quarantine and I said we are absolutely not doing that and then I turned
around to Tim and said Tim we need to do an emergency season of the podcast while everyone
is home alone wherein we watch Home Alone 3 and we began that journey. And we come to you today.
We're not watching every day.
I just want to, you know,
temper expectations here
so we don't set ourselves too high.
What we're trying to do is strike a balance
of looking after ourselves and looking after you.
So we come to you today on this very friend zone
to announce there will be an emergency season
for as long as we are under lock and key in our homes
of the worst idea of all time,
in which we watch and discuss Home Alone 3,
the magnum opus of John Hughes.
We've got a few episodes in the bank.
I think they're hopefully,
do you reckon they'll come out maybe twice weekly, Tim?
Oh yeah, definitely, At least twice weekly.
Maybe even slightly more than that.
Yeah, but that'll be a bit.
We reckon probably about once every three days,
which works out to be slightly more than twice weekly.
So there's more coming.
And if you want up to the minute uploads,
if you want the episodes as they arrive,
I direct you towards the Patreon,
patreon.com forward slash T-W-I-O-A-T.
It's where you can get all of your bonus shit.
Also, I don't know how soon, but coming up,
I might have misled a few listeners on my social media.
Videos from our live shows in the US and in London last year.
Tim shot them all on his beautiful, crunchy cameras.
They look fantastic.
And it's just a nice way to engage with it.
And some of them don't as well.
Some of them look real good.
Some of them don't.
So just keep that in mind.
But I think it's a good idea, Tim.
I think putting a pin in it here, hopefully we've, you know, we've.
Hold on.
I want to plug something else while we're here oh yeah um while we've been in lockdown i have
been making a live streaming web show called happening yeah for the last couple of weeks and
uh we've sort of settled on a bit of a schedule for it guy actually joined me in the studio, which is my garage at my rented flat,
for the first one before we were prohibited from doing so by the state.
It was literally the night before it was illegal.
And we were abiding social distancing on that first episode.
Yeah, yeah.
There were a lot of protocols and procedures put in place to make sure
everything was pretty clean and healthy.
But then we all got locked in our houses rightly so so basically yeah i've um the whole kind of vibe
of the show of happening is that people are getting very creative out there during lockdown
and also some people aren't getting creative but kind of sometimes you are creative but you just
need that little push like for it to be on display somewhere or for you to be working
towards something so the thing with happening is that it's it's 90 minutes long it's on twice a
week uh new zealand time it's on uh tuesday night and friday morning um and i've got a website for
it now happeningshow.com if you go to happeningshow.com you can see the previous episodes
me struggling
with the technology and failing often but slowly i'm getting there and i'm just like showcasing
people's art that they're throwing into the show that they're submitting so it's like it's it's
music um it's some music videos it's uh bits comedy sketches that people are filming on their
phones it's short stories it's poetry um it's me and my dog sometimes it's it's a good time it's a fantastic show it really captures
the spirit of tim and the spirit of our current situation i i'm so proud of you i love watching
it i love contributing to it and i can't encourage people to watch it enough and especially
go back trawl back through the back catalog.
It's part of it sort of, it's better than this,
but it's radio with pictures.
It's fantastic company.
It's full immersion.
And if you like watching Tim get slightly too stoned
to operate the technical equipment he has set up in front of him,
you're going to have a fucking blast watching this.
Yeah, I'm a big fan and occasional contributor,
so I can't encourage you enough.
I'm actually a patron of that.
Did you know that, Tim?
Yeah, I saw that.
That's very sweet.
Thank you.
It's very nice of you guys.
It's honestly a pleasure.
So there's lots of Tim and Guy-flavored content
out in the world for you right now.
We hope you're looking after yourselves,
staying sane, staying safe.
Actually, this might be a good time, Tim. usually i poo-poo this sort of thing but have you got any earnest recommendations for something that someone could watch uh by means of escapism
um if you're in the states or if you've for some weird reason got neon in new zealand i did uh
get through devs pretty quickly i liked that that was really
good there's kind of a trippy so it's like i would describe it as it's like westworld but less
convoluted in a lot of ways like there's less characters and shit going on it's just a it's
it's very um psychologically a bit sort of challenging because it's very philosophical
it's about ai and it sort of challenges a lot of notions of of things because it's very philosophical it's about ai and it sort
of challenges a lot of notions of of things we take for granted but it's it's just fucking
beautifully shot and um what's his goddamn name the guy from parks and rec who's the main guy in it
oh nick offerman yeah yeah who just like performance of his life it's so good um so that's
that's been really good you just watched the um
middle ditch and uh fucking what's his name i did i watched the middle ditch and schwartz
uh improv special on netflix and i i i got to admit as someone who does improv and has actually
had some improv tape that's going to be released to the broader world i tuned in with some skepticism uh and trepidation but i was they my fears were
immediately allayed i've only watched the first one but i thought it was uh it captures the
experience of improv well and in a way sort of takes you out of your house you do you do feel
as though you're in an audience watching a live show and so that is uh to be commended i'd also
if you if you if you want something wafer thin in terms of just like unchallenging so that is to be commended. I'd also, if you,
if you want something wafer thin in terms of just like unchallenging that you
don't have any mental or emotional bandwidth to deal with anything.
Zoe and I have been watching a little bit of nailed it and it's good shit,
man.
It's a good format.
That was what I was going to bring up Chelsea.
And I've been fucking with that too.
If you've ever got between 20 and 30 minutes to burn and you just sort of want something
that you can come in and out of,
but will only ever bring you joy,
Nailed It is absolutely on the money.
I think that's a good place to end it.
Tim, it's been a pleasure.
I love you, my friend.
Love you too, Guy.
And we love all of you, our friends as well.
So please look after yourselves out there.
And flick us a message, why don't you?
We'd love to hear from you.
Absolutely.
Bye.
Well, it's the friend zone with Tim and Guy.
It's the friend zone.
We're going to have a good time.
It's the friend zone with Tim and Guy.
Because making friends is the best idea of all time friendzone