The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Six

Episode Date: May 13, 2016

Welcome back to the friendzone. A zone where we talk as friends. Tim's got a bee in his bonnet and can't remember which Friendzone it is. Guy's on the top of the world and fears the friendzone turnin...g into a popular comedy podcast from one Marc Maron.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea of all time Season 3 And that theme came to us from TK Selman Delman Shit, I fucked it up already. That's all right. Hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time.
Starting point is 00:00:28 Friend zone number six, I think. I was thinking we should, I don't know, I don't want to throw the responsibility of this to anyone else, but I'm certainly not going to do it. Have a lovely little friend zone intro where we just talk, we could do it ourselves even, where we just talk about being friends and what friendship's about. I like that.
Starting point is 00:00:46 Friendship is about loving and learning and sharing too. Welcome along to Friendzone 6. You really took me off that idea in record time. I didn't like, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be negative, but that was. None of those things represent friendship, do you? No, it's just the musicality of what you were laying down well don't let the music
Starting point is 00:01:08 spoil the message man sorry I won't the message was beautiful you're welcome that is a thank you of sorts and speaking of thank yous why am I coming in so negative guy?
Starting point is 00:01:23 you're tired you're burnt out what is interesting about what you're tired you're burnt out uh what is interesting about what you're wearing right now tim and this is not something you see super often you're wearing a singlet um and a jersey yeah and that's in and of itself is fine but the jersey is quite like a low scoop neck jersey that goes sort of somewhere between the neck and the top of the the clavicle yeah uh and the singulate is cut quite close to your neck. Yeah. And so there's a gap of flesh between like the cingulate
Starting point is 00:01:49 and then it's like a little bit of shoulder arm. Yeah. And then jersey. And it's quite racy. I might take a photo of it. Okay, sure. I feel like I'm in Bardot, the Australian pop band that used to do a lot of over-the-shoulder numbers.
Starting point is 00:02:03 That is exactly what it looks like. I'm a saucy minx. There's no getting around it. I'm loving it. See, all it took for you to feel good about yourself was being told you're sexy. I'm a saucy minx. Yeah, you're not wrong. I'm a simple man, guy.
Starting point is 00:02:16 I'm not a complicated human being. You tell me I'm sexy, I'm in a good mood. Done. You are a simpleton. Hey, everybody. How's everyone doing? I'm hoping well I'm feeling good
Starting point is 00:02:27 For a long time now Tim and I have been toiling away On these silly comedy festivals Where you just do comedy Until it doesn't even make sense anymore And you don't know why anyone does comedy Or how it works And we're just about finished
Starting point is 00:02:40 And I've got to say I feel so good I'm honestly on top of the world Looking down on creation And it feels like You know when you're in a good mood and you assume everyone else is in a good mood, I feel like you guys are all in a good mood too and it's great. It's great we're all doing so well. How are you going Tim? It's colouring your world view.
Starting point is 00:02:52 It's beautiful because what you've done is you've seen something that's a little bit tricky and potentially could be a little bit depressing but you've flipped it on its head and instead of going, oh this is bloody hard, you're going, oh it's almost over. Already richer for the experience. Not to degrade the wonderful life that is being able to go up on a stage each night
Starting point is 00:03:10 and crack people up with something you've thought of, though. That's always good, but it's just when it's the same show for three weeks in a row, night after night, it can get a little bit interesting. It's confusing. It is confusing. It's a real confusing thing to do, but that's why you do it. It's good It is confusing It's a real confusing thing to do But that's why you do it It's good to get confused Because comedy is all about
Starting point is 00:03:27 Like thinking of something on the fly In my head you know It's spontaneity And surprise For you guys that know you're tuning in to an episode of WTF Lucky little bitches I want to say thank you to some people Guy Because
Starting point is 00:03:41 It's important Oh I don't know why as well But it might be the link i put up on our facebook page but we got a lot of hits on the website recently so i feel like i should definitely go there and do a spring clean and update it because i think it's like it's a bit outdated it still says we're probably watching grown-ups too or something i haven't i haven't updated it for a while people fit people figure stuff out and if they don't they're not that
Starting point is 00:04:02 interested tim just before we start oh yeah this is in reference to the last episode we put up. Sure. It's been sent in by someone called Tom Steve Dave Betlock. His name is my name too. Yeah. And his profile picture or his avatar is a star and it says Prince on it. So presumably a fan of the monarchy. Just curious if you guys would be interested in selling the potato
Starting point is 00:04:26 you recorded this week's podcast on. I'm looking for some choice memorabilia. Bloody good call. An excellent call. As the person who deals with the tech and the audio and the whatnot, you're a man after my own heart, mate. Yeah, I don't know what to tell you. Brought a recorder, it didn't work.
Starting point is 00:04:47 First of all, the recorder that we brought Plugged it in And I think the tech switched something Five minutes into the show Because at the start, it was all good And you could hear both of us And then five minutes later, only Guy's mic was on And then 30 minutes later, the battery ran out So luckily we had a backup
Starting point is 00:05:02 Which was Guy's phone And how did the phone do? You can hear it You can hear what we're saying But it's not an easy listen It's not an easy It's a labour of love for everyone Yeah, which is not really what you want
Starting point is 00:05:18 On episode two But there we were Just trying our best Two brave boys Two brave and happy boys from memory. Yeah. Hell of a night. Hell of a night.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Anyway, I just wanted to get that out there. Well, great call. Very good call. If there's any other messages as well, just bloody flick them on up. In the meanwhile, look, here's some people who have donated to us. If you go to worstideaofalltime.com,
Starting point is 00:05:42 there's a button that says support the Troops. It's supposed to be ironic, we're being sarcastic but it's also playing on a lot of American listeners sense of patriotism we're tricking you and the first person I would like to mention I only kind of read these out if people have left a message
Starting point is 00:06:00 but if you give us money, like god damn, thank you so much whatever the amount is thank you so much. Whatever the amount is. Thank you to everyone who's ever done anything for us. I want to figure out what our average donation is and then bleat on about it
Starting point is 00:06:12 like Bernie Sanders. Just start saying it's whatever the extra two years and have an average campaign donation of $16. This person's name is Vincent Colosimo. That is a great name for a start is Vincent Colosimo
Starting point is 00:06:26 That is a great name for a start Vincent Colosimo And Vincent says Found you guys while working through the back catalogue Of Spontaneanation Since then, maybe two months ago I have been furiously trying to catch up Before season three
Starting point is 00:06:39 Mission accomplished Can't wait to hear you guys start up again Live those moments and love those days Thank you Vincent What a legend Vincent is. Hard worker too. Lark Rowe says Thanks for all the free entertainment. I can't believe you absolute maniacs are going to
Starting point is 00:06:54 do a season three. I hope this helps you fellas get some beers to get you through the first episode. Cheers, Lark. Good on you, Lark. We actually did the first episode beer free. Yeah. You'll be happy to know. You'll be very pleased to hear. Simon Marshall writes, Hi from Wisconsin.
Starting point is 00:07:09 Thank you for the world of pain you endured to make this. It's hilarious and reminds me of home. NZ. Ah, an expat. An immigrant. Yes, an immigrant. No, immigrant.
Starting point is 00:07:21 If you're immigrating, you're immigrating somewhere. Yeah, that's true. New Zealanders, we all call ourselves expats, but we're just immigrants. Yeah. You're right. It doesn't make any sense. I actually, do you know, I brought this up in my show the other day
Starting point is 00:07:36 because I think you reminded me of this recently. Yeah. That Lane Timoney truth bombs on the mini episode. It's a race thing. It's totally a race thing. Yeah, it's terrible. It's one of these weird features of the common lexicon that for some reason, if it's a white person, you call them an expat, but everyone else is an immigrant. Does the pat stand for patriot?
Starting point is 00:07:59 Yeah, an expatriate. That's some absolute horse shit. I know. Yeah, an expatriate. That's some absolute horse shit. I know. So, like, someone was, yeah, I don't know. There was a person in my audience who was from somewhere,
Starting point is 00:08:12 and I was like, oh, you're an immigrant. And I made a real point of giving them the business. Anyway, I digress. David Bliss. Great last name. Do you want some water? I got a bottle here. It's just not enough.
Starting point is 00:08:30 You can hear my voice is trying to give up, but I just won't let it. Good on you. Give it hell, man. Man. Man. Man. Man. David Bliss writes,
Starting point is 00:08:39 Hi Tim and Guy. Thanks for the many hours of comedy. I discovered TWIOAT midway through season one, shortly before I had a very serious long term relationship breakup. For the last year or so it's been great to have to look forward to each week and as I work through the social precariousness of being single for the first
Starting point is 00:08:56 time in ages it's been a real help. TWIOAT is a great conversation piece and cute girls are always excited to hear about it. This isn't a sob story i just wanted to thank you for the life it doesn't sound like a sob story at all it doesn't sound like you're burying a brag in a sob story uh i just wanted to thank you for the lives and let you know how glad i am that you'll be doing this for another year db ah david thanks man i'm sorry about um
Starting point is 00:09:22 that your relationship didn't work out, but not all of them do. And that's for the best. I think so. It's just great to have friends, and that's what it's all about in the friend zone. Absolutely. Everyone, we're all friends. We are all friends.
Starting point is 00:09:38 I don't know if I've brought this up before. I feel like maybe I have, but you know how Benedict Cumberbatch has his, like, cumberbitches, or he changed the word to be gender neutral. I can't remember what it is. Did he not call it a Cumberpatch? His patch of fans? Oh, why hasn't he used that?
Starting point is 00:09:54 That's way better. I think the Cumberbitches named themselves, and then he got one and he was like, I don't know about that. It seems a little on the nose. We should just call our fans friends and it won't make any sense we are your friends it makes so much sense you fucking idiot oh man why why don't we just call the friends and we are your friends yeah create absolute chaos oh it's madness isn't it how? So we've seen it twice now.
Starting point is 00:10:28 We're getting a few messages come through with people being like, I don't know about you guys. You seem to have picked a real easy movie this year. I don't think you're wrong. Yeah, but that doesn't mean you don't know about us. It just means we got lucky. Yeah. The boys done did a good thing.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Yeah, like we didn't know what we were in for with Sex and the City 2. But I hasten to add as well, when we first watched Sex and the City 2, we thought we were okay. Look, this is veering into, this isn't friendzone stuff. Oh, okay. This is a conversation for after watching the movie. Okay, fair enough. It's the only time you can get supreme clarity surrounding the issue of we are your friends and whether or not
Starting point is 00:10:59 it is in fact the Citizen Kane of our generation. Fair enough. We got this message though, quickly from on the facey from Brian Klosterman. is in fact the Citizen Kane of our generation. Fair enough. We've got this message, though, quickly from, on the facey, from Brian Klosterman. He, I don't know that he had donated any money, but he wrote a big letter. It is bad. I can see the text.
Starting point is 00:11:13 Go for it. Good morning, afternoon, evening. Circle in your minds, whichever is applicable. Gents. Good morning, just. This letter of sorts has been a long time coming, so my apologies if it runs a bit long. It will still be shorter than sex in the city too. And he spelt it wrong.
Starting point is 00:11:30 He said in the city. What does he mean by sex and the city? I didn't know for ages too, Brian. I'm right there with you. Yeah, well, Brian, you should have learnt when Tim learned. Anyway. I first became aware of the podcast after going through some catalogued How Does This Get Made episodes.
Starting point is 00:11:45 At the time, another recent addition to my podcast ensemble. See, Spontanean Nation. Yeah. We're getting fans from other places. This is great. It is good. We're in fine company. I like that you're peppering in your backstory into the story.
Starting point is 00:11:58 It's great. It's good storytelling here. Don't edit on the fly. No, no. I'm trying to find my place. Oh, okay me what i'm doing boy uh and the last bit i usually skipped through i heard paul sheer recommended the worst idea of all time it sounded like an absurd premise and still does but one i had to check out at a time i believe you boys were nearing the end of season one somewhere around episode 42 or so i began at the beginning as one should and was immediately hooked i blew through
Starting point is 00:12:25 most of season one like a box of tissues during the opening scene of up or the entirety of wild things this sounds like a high like an english essay from a um from a senior it's great uh then i started to ration out those last episodes like a hidden chocolate bar in a concentration camp you've been listening too much to matt this is bad stuff a bit of a bleak analogy i'll admit but when the podcast then the podcast is not without its bleak moments moving on i finished up shortly after season two kicked off and here we are today as i just listened to episode two of season three thank you to my guy for the incredible gift that is the worst of all time listening to the cast has helped me get through a few dark moments of my life to have that escape even for 30 minutes is a real What an absolute sweetheart, Brian.
Starting point is 00:13:19 Thank you. That's right. You really lost me on the concentration camp analogy, but then you won me back at the end with your warm heart and open praise of our project. I appreciate it. Yeah, I greatly appreciate it too. There's another paragraph.
Starting point is 00:13:33 Shall I read it, even though we just did a lovely summation? Thank you for going on this insane adventure in your lives and for letting us, the fans, tag along. All I can do in return is live every moment and love every day. And of course, I'll give you this this kiss for a kiss is always a gift and then in parenthesis unless you're bill cosby you're a dark sense of humor brian but thank you very much for listening also he wants to plug a podcast guy do it called bloke busters it's a long form film review podcast It's got British accents Apologies for the shameless plug
Starting point is 00:14:07 But where would podcasts be without shameless plugs Damn right Damn right That was a real journey you took us on Brian Thank you for it It was peppered with analogies Like the letter was a steak And the analogies were seasoning
Starting point is 00:14:24 I put an analogy on top of the description and the analogies were seasoning. I put an analogy on top of the description of the analogies. You've made metaphors. A journey through salad. We should probably wrap this up, hey? Yeah. I was just saying if I wanted to read one more. Maybe I want to read this.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Yeah, do it. I'll read this one. One parting shot. Andrew Franks wrote, I wanted to say that I love the podcast, been listening since your first Vice article early on in Grown Ups 2. Being a filmmaker and lover of bad films, I surprisingly enjoyed We Are Your Friends. I'm a filmmaker from Seattle and shoot a fair amount of concerts including a bunch of EDM shows. That stands for Electronic Dance Music, kiddies.
Starting point is 00:14:59 The culture honestly fascinates me. It's like a 2010s version of grunge or goth or whatever where the goers feel like they're outsiders but fit into the subculture. But they also do a ton of molly and wear nothing. And all the drops of music are exactly the same. I love seeing it from an outside perspective and enjoy
Starting point is 00:15:17 hearing your commentary on it. That's it. This is pretty straight down the middle. That is good. Thank you, Andrew. You're right in the niche of people who will be very glad we chose this movie. Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad we chose it, so I'm in the niche too. Hey, I'm glad too, Tim.
Starting point is 00:15:32 And I'm glad you're my friend. And I'm glad that everyone's friends. Yeah, I'd like to take a very brief moment to talk about friendship and just say that it's a wonderful thing. It's a gift, much like a kiss. And we're all lucky to have friends, because we are all friends. All of us are friends. What Tim's trying to say is we are your friends.
Starting point is 00:15:50 And you'll never be alone again. Oh! You wish. You get this one. Close enough. Season 3

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