The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Six
Episode Date: May 13, 2016Welcome back to the friendzone. A zone where we talk as friends. Tim's got a bee in his bonnet and can't remember which Friendzone it is. Guy's on the top of the world and fears the friendzone turnin...g into a popular comedy podcast from one Marc Maron. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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It's the worst idea of all time
It's the worst idea of all time
Season 3
And that theme came to us from TK Selman
Delman
Shit, I fucked it up already.
That's all right.
Hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time.
Friend zone number six, I think.
I was thinking we should, I don't know,
I don't want to throw the responsibility of this to anyone else,
but I'm certainly not going to do it.
Have a lovely little friend zone intro where we just talk,
we could do it ourselves even,
where we just talk about being friends and what friendship's about.
I like that.
Friendship is about loving and learning and sharing too.
Welcome along to Friendzone 6.
You really took me off that idea in record time.
I didn't like, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't be negative, but that was.
None of those things represent friendship, do you?
No, it's just the musicality of what you were laying down
well don't let the music
spoil the message man
sorry I won't
the message was beautiful
you're welcome
that is a thank you of sorts
and
speaking of thank yous
why am I coming in so negative guy?
you're tired you're burnt out
what is interesting about what you're tired you're burnt out uh what is
interesting about what you're wearing right now tim and this is not something you see super often
you're wearing a singlet um and a jersey yeah and that's in and of itself is fine but the jersey is
quite like a low scoop neck jersey that goes sort of somewhere between the neck and the top of the
the clavicle yeah uh and the singulate is cut quite close to your neck.
Yeah.
And so there's a gap of flesh between like the cingulate
and then it's like a little bit of shoulder arm.
Yeah.
And then jersey.
And it's quite racy.
I might take a photo of it.
Okay, sure.
I feel like I'm in Bardot, the Australian pop band
that used to do a lot of over-the-shoulder numbers.
That is exactly what it looks like.
I'm a saucy minx.
There's no getting around it.
I'm loving it.
See, all it took for you to feel good about yourself was being told you're sexy.
I'm a saucy minx.
Yeah, you're not wrong.
I'm a simple man, guy.
I'm not a complicated human being.
You tell me I'm sexy, I'm in a good mood.
Done.
You are a simpleton.
Hey, everybody.
How's everyone doing?
I'm hoping well
I'm feeling good
For a long time now
Tim and I have been toiling away
On these silly comedy festivals
Where you just do comedy
Until it doesn't even make sense anymore
And you don't know why anyone does comedy
Or how it works
And we're just about finished
And I've got to say
I feel so good
I'm honestly on top of the world
Looking down on creation
And it feels like You know when you're in a good mood
and you assume everyone else is in a good mood, I feel like you guys
are all in a good mood too and it's great. It's great we're all doing
so well. How are you going Tim? It's colouring your world view.
It's beautiful because what you've done is you've
seen something that's a little bit tricky
and potentially could be a little bit depressing but you've
flipped it on its head and instead of going, oh
this is bloody hard,
you're going, oh it's almost over.
Already richer for the experience.
Not to degrade the wonderful life that is being able to go up on a stage each night
and crack people up with something you've thought of, though.
That's always good, but it's just when it's the same show for three weeks in a row,
night after night, it can get a little bit interesting.
It's confusing.
It is confusing.
It's a real confusing thing to do, but that's why you do it. It's good It is confusing It's a real confusing thing to do But that's why you do it
It's good to get confused
Because comedy is all about
Like thinking of something on the fly
In my head you know
It's spontaneity
And surprise
For you guys that know you're tuning in to an episode of WTF
Lucky little bitches
I want to say thank you to some people Guy
Because
It's important
Oh
I don't know why as well
But it might be the link i put
up on our facebook page but we got a lot of hits on the website recently so i feel like i should
definitely go there and do a spring clean and update it because i think it's like it's a bit
outdated it still says we're probably watching grown-ups too or something i haven't i haven't
updated it for a while people fit people figure stuff out and if they don't they're not that
interested tim just before we start oh yeah this is in reference to the last episode we put up.
Sure.
It's been sent in by someone called Tom Steve Dave Betlock.
His name is my name too.
Yeah.
And his profile picture or his avatar is a star and it says Prince on it.
So presumably a fan of the monarchy.
Just curious if you guys would be interested in selling the potato
you recorded this week's podcast on.
I'm looking for some choice memorabilia.
Bloody good call.
An excellent call.
As the person who deals with the tech and the audio and the whatnot,
you're a man after my own heart, mate.
Yeah, I don't know what to tell you.
Brought a recorder, it didn't work.
First of all, the recorder that we brought Plugged it in
And I think the tech switched something
Five minutes into the show
Because at the start, it was all good
And you could hear both of us
And then five minutes later, only Guy's mic was on
And then 30 minutes later, the battery ran out
So luckily we had a backup
Which was Guy's phone
And how did the phone do?
You can hear it
You can hear what we're saying
But it's not an easy listen
It's not an easy
It's a labour of love for everyone
Yeah, which is not really what you want
On episode two
But there we were
Just trying our best
Two brave boys
Two brave and happy boys from memory.
Yeah.
Hell of a night.
Hell of a night.
Anyway, I just wanted to get that out there.
Well, great call.
Very good call.
If there's any other messages as well,
just bloody flick them on up.
In the meanwhile, look,
here's some people who have donated to us.
If you go to worstideaofalltime.com,
there's a button that says support the Troops.
It's supposed to be ironic, we're being sarcastic
but it's also playing
on a lot of American listeners
sense of patriotism
we're tricking you
and the first person I would like to mention
I only kind of read these out if people have left a message
but if you give us
money, like god damn, thank you so much
whatever the amount is thank you so much.
Whatever the amount is.
Thank you to everyone who's ever done anything for us.
I want to figure out
what our average donation is
and then bleat on about it
like Bernie Sanders.
Just start saying
it's whatever the extra two years
and have an average
campaign donation
of $16.
This person's name is
Vincent Colosimo. That is a great name for a start is Vincent Colosimo
That is a great name for a start
Vincent Colosimo
And Vincent says
Found you guys while working through the back catalogue
Of Spontaneanation
Since then, maybe two months ago
I have been furiously trying to catch up
Before season three
Mission accomplished
Can't wait to hear you guys start up again
Live those moments and love those days
Thank you Vincent What a legend
Vincent is. Hard worker too.
Lark Rowe says
Thanks for all the free entertainment.
I can't believe you absolute maniacs are going to
do a season three. I hope this helps you
fellas get some beers to get you through the first episode.
Cheers, Lark. Good on you, Lark.
We actually did the first episode
beer free. Yeah. You'll be happy
to know. You'll be very pleased to hear.
Simon Marshall writes,
Hi from Wisconsin.
Thank you for the world of pain
you endured to make this.
It's hilarious and reminds me of home.
NZ.
Ah, an expat.
An immigrant.
Yes, an immigrant.
No, immigrant.
If you're immigrating,
you're immigrating somewhere.
Yeah, that's true.
New Zealanders, we all call ourselves expats, but we're just immigrants.
Yeah.
You're right.
It doesn't make any sense.
I actually, do you know, I brought this up in my show the other day
because I think you reminded me of this recently.
Yeah.
That Lane Timoney truth bombs on the mini episode.
It's a race thing.
It's totally a race thing.
Yeah, it's terrible.
It's one of these weird features of the common lexicon that for some reason, if it's a white person, you call them an expat, but everyone else is an immigrant.
Does the pat stand for patriot?
Yeah, an expatriate.
That's some absolute horse shit.
I know.
Yeah, an expatriate.
That's some absolute horse shit.
I know.
So, like, someone was, yeah, I don't know.
There was a person in my audience who was from somewhere,
and I was like, oh, you're an immigrant.
And I made a real point of giving them the business.
Anyway, I digress.
David Bliss.
Great last name.
Do you want some water?
I got a bottle here.
It's just not enough.
You can hear my voice is trying to give up, but I just won't let it.
Good on you.
Give it hell, man.
Man.
Man.
Man.
Man.
David Bliss writes,
Hi Tim and Guy.
Thanks for the many hours of comedy. I discovered TWIOAT midway through season one,
shortly before I had a very serious long
term relationship breakup.
For the last year or so it's been great
to have to look forward to each week
and as I work through the social
precariousness of being single for the first
time in ages it's been a real help.
TWIOAT is a great conversation
piece and cute girls are always excited to
hear about it.
This isn't a sob story i just wanted to
thank you for the life it doesn't sound like a sob story at all it doesn't sound like you're
burying a brag in a sob story uh i just wanted to thank you for the lives and let you know how
glad i am that you'll be doing this for another year db ah david thanks man i'm sorry about um
that your relationship didn't work out, but not all of them do.
And that's for the best.
I think so.
It's just great to have friends,
and that's what it's all about in the friend zone.
Absolutely.
Everyone, we're all friends.
We are all friends.
I don't know if I've brought this up before.
I feel like maybe I have,
but you know how Benedict Cumberbatch has his, like,
cumberbitches, or he changed the word to be gender neutral.
I can't remember what it is.
Did he not call it a Cumberpatch?
His patch of fans?
Oh, why hasn't he used that?
That's way better.
I think the Cumberbitches named themselves,
and then he got one and he was like, I don't know about that.
It seems a little on the nose.
We should just call our fans friends and it won't
make any sense we are your friends it makes so much sense you fucking idiot
oh man why why don't we just call the friends and we are your friends yeah create absolute chaos
oh it's madness isn't it how? So we've seen it twice now.
We're getting a few messages come through with people being like,
I don't know about you guys.
You seem to have picked a real easy movie this year.
I don't think you're wrong.
Yeah, but that doesn't mean you don't know about us.
It just means we got lucky.
Yeah.
The boys done did a good thing.
Yeah, like we didn't know what we were in for with Sex and the City 2.
But I hasten to add as well, when we first watched Sex and the City 2, we
thought we were okay. Look, this is
veering into, this isn't friendzone stuff.
Oh, okay. This is a conversation
for after watching the movie. Okay, fair enough.
It's the only time you can get supreme clarity surrounding
the issue of we are your friends and whether or not
it is in fact the Citizen Kane of our generation.
Fair enough. We got this message though, quickly from
on the facey from Brian Klosterman. is in fact the Citizen Kane of our generation. Fair enough. We've got this message, though, quickly from,
on the facey, from Brian Klosterman.
He, I don't know that he had donated any money,
but he wrote a big letter.
It is bad.
I can see the text.
Go for it.
Good morning, afternoon, evening.
Circle in your minds, whichever is applicable.
Gents.
Good morning, just.
This letter of sorts has been a long time coming, so my apologies if it runs a bit long.
It will still be shorter than sex in the city too.
And he spelt it wrong.
He said in the city.
What does he mean by sex and the city?
I didn't know for ages too, Brian.
I'm right there with you.
Yeah, well, Brian, you should have learnt when Tim learned.
Anyway.
I first became aware of the podcast
after going through some catalogued How Does This Get Made episodes.
At the time, another recent addition to my podcast ensemble.
See, Spontanean Nation.
Yeah.
We're getting fans from other places.
This is great.
It is good.
We're in fine company.
I like that you're peppering in your backstory into the story.
It's great.
It's good storytelling here.
Don't edit on the fly.
No, no.
I'm trying to find my place. Oh, okay me what i'm doing boy uh and the last bit i usually skipped through i heard paul sheer recommended
the worst idea of all time it sounded like an absurd premise and still does but one i had to
check out at a time i believe you boys were nearing the end of season one somewhere around
episode 42 or so i began at the beginning as one should and was immediately hooked i blew through
most of season one like a box of tissues during the opening scene of up or the entirety of wild
things this sounds like a high like an english essay from a um from a senior it's great uh
then i started to ration out those last episodes like a hidden chocolate bar in a concentration camp you've been
listening too much to matt this is bad stuff a bit of a bleak analogy i'll admit but when the
podcast then the podcast is not without its bleak moments moving on i finished up shortly after
season two kicked off and here we are today as i just listened to episode two of season three thank
you to my guy for the incredible gift that is the worst of all time listening to the cast has helped
me get through a few dark moments of my life to have that escape even for 30 minutes is a real What an absolute sweetheart, Brian.
Thank you.
That's right.
You really lost me on the concentration camp analogy,
but then you won me back at the end with your warm heart
and open praise of our project.
I appreciate it.
Yeah, I greatly appreciate it too.
There's another paragraph.
Shall I read it, even though we just did a lovely summation?
Thank you for going on this insane adventure in your lives
and for letting us, the fans, tag along.
All I can do in return is live every moment and love every day.
And of course, I'll give you this this kiss for a kiss is always a gift and then in parenthesis unless you're bill
cosby you're a dark sense of humor brian but thank you very much for listening also he wants to plug
a podcast guy do it called bloke busters it's a long form film review podcast It's got British accents
Apologies for the shameless plug
But where would podcasts be without shameless plugs
Damn right
Damn right
That was a real journey you took us on Brian
Thank you for it
It was peppered with analogies
Like the letter was a steak
And the analogies were seasoning
I put an analogy on top of the description and the analogies were seasoning.
I put an analogy on top of the description of the analogies.
You've made metaphors.
A journey through salad.
We should probably wrap this up, hey?
Yeah.
I was just saying if I wanted to read one more.
Maybe I want to read this.
Yeah, do it.
I'll read this one. One parting shot.
Andrew Franks wrote,
I wanted to say that I love the podcast,
been listening since your first Vice article early on in Grown Ups 2.
Being a filmmaker and lover of bad films, I surprisingly enjoyed We Are Your Friends.
I'm a filmmaker from Seattle and shoot a fair amount of concerts including a bunch of EDM shows.
That stands for Electronic Dance Music, kiddies.
The culture honestly fascinates me.
It's like a 2010s version of grunge or goth or whatever where the goers
feel like they're outsiders but fit into the
subculture. But
they also do a ton of molly and wear
nothing. And all the drops of
music are exactly the same. I love
seeing it from an outside perspective and enjoy
hearing your commentary on it. That's it.
This is pretty straight down the middle.
That is good. Thank you, Andrew. You're right
in the niche of people who will be very glad we chose this movie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm glad we chose it, so I'm in the niche too.
Hey, I'm glad too, Tim.
And I'm glad you're my friend.
And I'm glad that everyone's friends.
Yeah, I'd like to take a very brief moment to talk about friendship
and just say that it's a wonderful thing.
It's a gift, much like a kiss.
And we're all lucky to have friends, because we are all friends.
All of us are friends.
What Tim's trying to say is we are your friends.
And you'll never be alone again.
Oh!
You wish.
You get this one.
Close enough. Season 3