The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Sixty One
Episode Date: November 14, 2017On the Friendzone this week - someone has written the boiz to let them know they've made a gross error for the last three and a half years. Tim reveals the Nexus theory. Fan Ben was too nervous to app...roach the dudes but serves as a warning for other people who come to live shows. Plus our first voicemail on the FZ! Please send more. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
well it's the friend zone with tim and guy come to the friend zone and have a good time yes it's
the friend zone with tim and guy because making friends is the best idea of all time hello and
welcome to the friend zone episode something 60 one one far out that's loud in my headphones you
don't even wearing headphones guy yeah but It's Tim Batts speaking here.
But you're shouting.
You're in my room and you're shouting.
No doubt about it.
Hi, everyone.
Look, as we close in on the end of this fantastic project,
this experiment in human endurance that's existed for three and a half years,
watching hours upon hours, if you stack it all together,
literally days, maybe even weeks of watching just three movies.
Undoubtedly.
I actually did the math recently.
Would you like to know?
I would fucking love to hear it.
And excuse my cussing.
Sorry.
Don't sweat it, big boy.
So we have spent, or not quite,
we're about 120 minutes shy of this mark,
but 18,896
minutes together. That's just watching the movies.
Why would you put 96? Oh, will that
be what has happened at the end? Yeah.
I see. I see how that math has occurred.
What the hell? Can you say that
number again, dude? 18,896.
Well, that's too much.
I'm going to run some more numbers on it.
So that will be 314.93 hours.
Yuck.
That's disgusting.
13.1 full days.
Is that just the watching?
That's just us watching.
That's none of the bloody bells and whistles around it.
God, it's too much.
It's just shy of a fortnight.
It's almost a shame, really.
If only there was some way we could pull together another full day's worth of fucking movie screenings.
Oh, boy.
Nah, do you know what, Tim?
Not worth it.
I say this as you shout at me while we sit on my comfortable bed here in New York City.
Not my bed. This bed actually belongs to a at me while we sit on my comfortable bed here in New York City. Not my bed.
This bed actually belongs to a lovely man named Brett.
You're subletting.
I am subletting.
From Brett.
It's a Casper bed.
I'll tell you what, we're not being sponsored by them, but those beds are pretty good.
You haven't slept in this, have you?
No, but I've slept in a similar...
I feel like I've slept in a similar enough one.
They're called koala beds back where I come from.
New Zealand. Boy, have you
changed. Yeah, land of the koala.
I was just making sure that I hadn't
forgotten an incident
in our time here together
in New York whereby I'd hosted you.
It wouldn't surprise me. Because Tim,
I love hosting.
Yes. And I love being hosted.
What a great plug. I'm going to take this opportunity to plug
season two of hosting coming out any day now.
Or not, to be honest.
You know, they're sitting there.
Yeah.
They're ready to go.
You're waiting on me.
I'm waiting on Guy.
Yeah.
Waiting on Guy to title these.
That's why I say any day now.
Any day now.
And they're all titled.
They need blurbs.
Oh, I see.
Listen, the important thing is you should subscribe to the podcast series Hosting,
which is starring Guy Montgomery and Carlo Ricci,
a fabulously talented improviser
who Guy told you about last episode
of The Worst Idea of All Time.
Undoubtedly.
And this is, but this, I mean, it's a friend zone.
It's a sub episode.
It's a safe space.
It's not a sub.
I don't want to say sub.
I want to say different.
This is a safe space
For us to say anything
And do anything
And share anything
But it's actually
Because we're with friends
Yeah
But more importantly
It's about us enjoying
I'll tell you something
Out there in the world
At the moment folks
It seems like friends
Few and far between
So you need to clutch
To us
That seems like the wrong thing
No
Hitch your wagon to us
No
Hitch your wagon to one another
Or just hang out with us
Spend time Spend time With the people you love and respect.
I want to hang out with you.
Don't read anything.
Get offline.
Just get offline for two hours.
Go and have a coffee or a tea or a warm water or a beer
with someone you love and respect
and just talk about your feelings.
It'll feel real good.
Do you know, before we did this,
Tim and I genuinely had a powerful 90-minute bonding session.
Absolutely.
And we did.
We talked about our feelings.
We talked about life.
And do you know what, Tim?
I have a real spring in my step because of it.
I feel fantastic.
And likewise, similarly.
I feel wonderful.
It's like getting a massage, but for your...
Feelings.
Feelings.
Yeah, it's nice.
That's a good byline for the friend zone. It's like a massage but for your uh feelings feelings yeah that's nice that's a good uh
byline for the friend zone it's like a massage for your feelings i would love yeah you were very
excited about this you said i've got one to kick us off with because i think this uh particular
individual and i don't know oh yeah they have it seems like they've said that it's okay for the
name i just scroll to the end of the email. This person is prolific on Twitter.
Someone I follow.
And from memory, love.
Tom Katsumi.
Yeah, yeah.
He's funny as hell.
Tom is a sensation.
And Tom has written to us.
Let me just clear my throat
because I don't want to fuck this up mid-message.
That's how I clear my throat.
Some people do it.
Not me, though.
No, no, never you.
It's Matic. dear guile and tim lee
pretty sure that's a
street fighter reference
but I could be wrong
as a big fan
who's been listening
from the start
I hate to be the bearer
of bad news
uh oh
but as I was listening
to one of the last few
final worst idea
of all times
the other day
I chanced upon a discovery
that is really going to
make you kick yourself right at the end of your magnificent run i don't want you to keep reading this email
i'm not quite sure what kind of administrative error led to this mistake but it seems that
without realizing you guys have been accidentally watching and reviewing the same movie every week
for each series i'm not sure how many of the other listeners have
picked up on this over the past three years it certainly hasn't detracted from my enjoyment of
the podcast in any way but i urge you two brave boys to be more careful in the future i hope that
this new information hasn't sullied and there's an asterisk there which we'll return to later
your experience in any way knowing that this project could have actually been over in just three weeks.
One, two, film.
I'm sad to be approaching the end of the worst idea of all time,
but at least we all still have till death do us part to look forward to.
I understand this year's film is Paul Blart and Paul Cotter,
which is a fatuous coincidence
considering the
podcast title.
Can't wait to hear
what next year's
T.D.D.U.B.
movie will be.
Even if it isn't
Tom Katsumi.
And the asterisk
connects to a picture
that has been attached
within the email of Captain Sully from the titular movie
about the miracle on the Hudson.
Yeah, and you've credited the photo.
Starring Tom Hanks.
And Tom has credited the photo
to Little Empire Brethren, the Walkout Boys.
He said, brackets, Sully appearance,
courtesy of the Walkout Boys.
I mean, this is literally the perfect email.
Yeah.
We've been searching for it for a while
and tom katsumi has literally sent us the perfect message i have to wonder how long he's been sitting
on that because that is in terms of comedy yeah like because if he thought of it because i'm
someone who if i think of a funny idea you get nervous no i don't get nervous someone else thought
of this are they about to absolutely not I hate having to wait to share it.
Even if it will become funnier,
if I release it three months later,
I'll be like,
fuck, I really just want to put it out there now
because I think it's funny
and I demand and crave immediate gratification.
So, Tom, whether or not you thought of this this morning
or three months ago,
thank you for that.
That genuinely tickled me pink.
You're the man, Tom.
I got one here for you, Tim.
Love to hear it.
Dearest Timbo and Guy Guy,
I hope this message finds you both well.
First of all, thank you for coming to Christchurch.
God damn it, you are welcome.
Yeah, that was a while ago.
Speaking of live shows, if you want to see us live,
of course, we are wrapping up the podcast.
I just rolled my eyes at Guy for plugging the show that I'm part of.
Sorry, man.
No, you're good.
I didn't mean to do that.
November.
Such is my reticence about commercialism and self-promotion
that I rolled my eyes at you promoting our live show.
Yeah, so obviously, you know, I can't say fuck you,
but that is what I feel.
We're so bad at promotion.
I'm really good.
I'm an anchor.
I'm a dead weight.
You go.
I'll be quiet.
November 29, New York City at the beautiful Bauhaus Theatre
with special guests still to be announced,
but has been confirmed.
Are you about to eat?
What is described to me as a crunchy seven grain bar
with quinoa on top of my bed.
I'm really sorry because I accidentally,
there's so many crumbs that came out of that package.
It's crazy to me that there'd be crumbs
in the chocolate chip cheer,
crunchy seven grain bars with quinoa.
I'm really sorry.
Anyway, so November 29 in New York City,
if you're an East Coaster,
if you're on the West Coast of the United States of America,
the last ever show,
December 1st at the Nerd Melt showroom.
Please, if you can make it along to either of those
or know anyone who might enjoy it,
send them along.
We'd love to be celebrating
the end of this stupid
fucking venture with our
lovely friends.
But I digress.
First of all, thank you
for coming to Christchurch.
It was amazing.
So there's a good plug
for the live shows.
Number one, I need to
start listening to the
first season again after
you good brave boys
finish season three.
Is it available anywhere
as now Howl is not doing
it anymore or do I have
to wait till when you guys can reload it next August-ish? What do you mean now how is not doing it anymore or do i have to
wait till when you guys can reload it up next august ish what do you mean how aren't doing it
anymore it's probably in response to us saying how aren't doing it anymore i mean if they if
remember we were going to re-upload it you were saying we'll oh no sorry yeah yeah so okay this
is a great question and i'm so glad that you brought it up. I'll still have it.
The contract is a little longer than I thought.
I was going off the top of the dime,
and I even think I said at the time,
I shouldn't be saying this out loud,
and it's shit like this that is the reason why.
I miscalculated grossly.
You hate the notion of success and business so much
that you are perpetually self-sabotaging.
Absolutely.
It's why I'm in so much debt, Guy.
You know this about me.
Those credit cards, they don't pay themselves off.
Get out of bed with you, both right now physically
and also in a financial and business sense.
Number two, I'm sure Guy's idea of you two recording a podcast
each randomly each week or month about thoughts or things you see,
et cetera, but I do also agree with Timbo,
is you two having banter with each other,
making for amazing podcast content for our air holes.
So Ben, which is your name,
and I see you give me permission to say it eventually,
you've kind of validated both of our warring ideas there.
So it's difficult to know who you support more.
I'd also just, I want to extrapolate for a moment,
if I may, on what the situation is with season one
so it's at hell
go to hell
go get it
go get some
hell.fm
slash
I think
worst idea
I should know that code
I don't
I'll be honest with you
okay
I don't know
I think
if you stopped
trying to plug anything
I think that would be
really good for business
but what I'm saying is
like if you just
stopped talking
all together
I feel like that would
make for a pretty good podcast and i've got a really good idea for a podcast please hit me it's
just me and i just upload things i say to the the the cloud worst idea of all time feed so everyone
gets that because i'm getting a lot of messages like a voice memo sort of a situation where
everyone can hear what you record in there. Yeah, I guess.
Yeah.
I just feel like we're trimming the fat then.
For our eels, for a kid, it's always a gift.
All hail Brady the Rat King.
Say my name, Ben Lever from Christchurch.
P.S. I was too nervous to say hi at the shows.
You two are my heroes and you know what they say about meeting your heroes.
Oh my God.
Ben, I say to you what I say to everyone who comes to our forthcoming live shows.
Come say what's up up give us a cuddle
we fucking love meeting you
we will give you a cuddle
like a hug
I want to be specific
only if you so desire it
absolutely
if you initiate the hug
we're not going to turn you down though
is what I'm saying
man
good on you
and I'm kind of gutted that you didn't come up and say hi
and I apologise if I added to that situation
by having poor organizational skills,
which usually we do.
I'm usually running off immediately after the show ends
to go and bloody sort something out.
Well, yeah, you're making sure it recorded.
Yeah, I'm freaking out about that stuff.
And I'm socializing because I'm a social butterfly.
My dearest Timbuktu and Hal or Guy Water,
what a journey it has been.
I've been listening since the beginning,
and I can tell you now,
it's made me a happy boy for the past three days.
Wait, hold on.
Hold on.
No, I like George's timeline.
Stick with it.
And I can't thank you enough for that.
Unfortunately, I live in London and not New York,
so I won't be able to come and watch the final goodbye,
but in my own special way,
sorry, but in my own special way,
oh, it is supposed to be way,
to hashtag pay the boys,
I am happy to buy two tickets to the show
and donate them to the first person
who sends me a Facebook message containing
a really nice dog video
as you know giving gifts can be sentimental and kiss laden experience so i am happy to be able
to metaphorically kiss another worst idea of all time friend with some tasty tickies i love you
both like brothers i'm sad that this is the end but tonight we feast
tonight we make summit
tonight we party like paddy
we are all good boys
we are all brave boys
we are all real pieces of shit
say my name
George Service
there's two I's in there
Service? Service
uh brackets
the name people will need to find on facebook
for the tickets oh the name people will need to find on facebook for tickets so that's george and
then service spelt with two i's so anyone in the on the east coast who wants two free tickets just
find an adorable dog video and hit up george service with two I's. It's also included a link to a SoundCloud track,
which George is claiming is from his band.
You doubt the veracity of his claim
that this is a Cisco rock band?
I doubt nothing.
I doubt no component of this.
But I was just wondering if I've got this set up
to be able to plug it into something.
I don't know if I do.
I might just have to crank the...
Can I just do this off your computer, guy?
No.
Is that cool?
I'll just put a microphone up to...
Let's have a look here.
Brixton Kiss is the name by The Shakers.
Let's have a look at this.
How about I read out the next message to this?
Dear... I didn't anticipate singing.
Neither did I, to be honest.
I thought it was an instrumental.
So should I...
What should I do?
I'll wait for this bit here.
There you go. That's fun.
This is recorded at Red Bull Studios, man.
This shit's legit.
That's Bricks and Kiss by The Shakers.
You could probably fade that out, I reckon.
Thank you very much to our friend and yours, George Service.
And remember, if you want two free tickets to the show in New York City...
There's no I in Service, but there's two in George's last name.
Service with two I's.
Now, dear Timbalweed, public flasher.
Gotcha.
I'll save you the hassle of starting a new Searching for Sugar Man style podcast
and remind you it was me that made the friends of them, Chris Maudsley.
Oh, my goodness.
From the Adam Sandbox.
Oh, thank God you're here, Chris.
Quick update.
Jesus.
We've officially done every Adam Sandler movie
and we're all finished with the podcast.
Jesus Christ, I am within the timeline of us
trying to fucking get through this movie.
Oh, boy.
And you guys are very...
You guys are kind of keeping me company
as I live in my van driving around Australia.
So, greeting from the best mountains.
Love you, boys.
And a very happy photo of a refreshed...
Fuck, he's a handsome dude.
And handsome man who's been for a bit of a bloody swim.
Look at that beard.
So, Chris Chewy Maudsley, everybody.
Thank you so much for the friend zone,
the theme, the message, the sentiment.
Chewy.
We love you, big boy.
We certainly do.
Goddamn, what a legend.
What an absolute legend.
Now, this one, Tim, it's a biggie.
A wall of text.
Are you ready?
I want to hear it,
and I might even put the microphone down to hear it.
Right on.
Dear Monty Guython and Tim Bandit, has that one been used yet?
Hi.
Not that I know of.
I'm Rob Dukes.
You might remember me from such messages as Supreme M. Joseph in Russell's Paradox
and Bears, Secret Rulers of the Nation.
I do remember that message.
It was tremendous and added a lot to the lore of the podcast.
Thank you ever so much.
Hi, I'm Robert Jukes.
You might remember me from such messages as
Supreme Joseph in Russell's Paradox
and bears, secret rulers of the nation.
You're right, that is how that should have been written.
With the podcast wrapping up,
it seems a lot of people are taking time to reflect
on how it's interselected with their lives.
I want to give particular shout-outs to Alex and Luke
and congratulate them on successful completion of their doctorates.
I wish I could join the celebration,
but my own program has sadly not been as successful.
I've noticed I mark certain phases of my life
by what fandoms I was involved in.
For example, in my undergraduate days, I was watching...
Can I guess?
Is it Buffy?
Anime.
Dang it.
I was watching a lot of anime. When I went to grad school to get a master's i was reading alternate history in 2014 i moved from
south carolina to denver to work on a math phd and started getting really into podcasts yours being
one of the first i wasn't listening from day one but i've heard every episode and it's been a
comforting background noise on the bus or while grading papers.
Unfortunately, after three years of fairly good grades and passing my exams,
I was forced to withdraw.
It's ironic that Guy called me a research machine last time I corresponded,
yet the primary problem is I couldn't find anyone to do research with,
so there was no way to start a thesis.
Word of advice to those contemplating graduate school,
it's quite risky to apply to a small program
since your pool of potential collaborators is more limited,
unless you have some sort of commitment from a faculty member.
In addition, I was getting poor financial support,
no one will tell me why they decided not to fund me,
but apparently they have some confidential reason I'm not allowed to hear,
which is the most frustrating part of all,
and couldn't justify taking on more debt to stay in a program that wasn't going anywhere.
I hope this isn't too much of a downer to be on the friend zone,
but on the other hand, it's almost eerily on point.
After all, if anyone can relate to spending three years of their life
wandering through an aimless project that ends in an anticlimax
and leaves you wondering what you're supposed to do next,
it's you boys.
I'm now working as a full-time adjunct like
a professor but with no job security or money and applying to other schools to continue my quest to
be dr dukes this probably means i'll have to move again which i'd rather not do but guy is actually
a big inspiration to keep going right now if you're able to move to the other side of the globe to
pursue your career surely i can handle moving a state or two over hope that wasn't too sappy anyway enjoy your time in new york wish i could come to the show
my brother lives in new jersey just a stone's throw away which is frustrating because he doesn't
listen to podcasts i'm glad there's no season four because as much fun as it's been if your
hearts aren't in it then the comedy wouldn't pop the way it has all this time looking forward to
whatever you do next rob jergan dukes p.s in the movie
small soldiers a man in a hazmat suit sneezes though it's not clear what's happening at first
because of the suit and then david cross says gesundheit not quite bless you but close when i
took a drama class in high school my teacher would often scold us with a quote about how actors
never cough uh well robert thank you so much for your message absolutely not too savvy or
sentimental i'm sorry to hear that the phd the pursuit of the phd has not come through yet but
i have no doubt it surely will as you relocate two states over your words not mine and i can say
as someone who's been in new york for just shy of a month now it is absolutely fucking mortifying relocating your entire life but every day it gets
a little bit easier and uh i mean the sun comes up at the same time but it goes down at like
fucking 4 30 here now so can i address some comments to robert yeah of course robert are
you listening it's tim here i'd like to talk to you for a second firstly i don't want you to think
for a second that your pursuit Of the last three years
Of trying to get your doctoral thesis
You know, researched and tested
Has been a waste at all
There is an amazing phenomenon
Born within all of us
Which makes all of us important
And it is
I'm going to get into it now
And I'm going to give it a label
It's called the Nexus Theory.
It's Tim Batt's Nexus Theory.
Go ahead.
This is why everyone's important on Earth.
I may not be the greatest person at math.
Go Montgomery.
I may not be the greatest person at podcasting.
I may not be the greatest person at stand-up comedy.
The list goes on.
I may not be the greatest person at a lot of things.
However, I am the best person at being in the middle of all of those things that I enjoy.
I'm at the nexus of all of those things.
That's what makes me uniquely positioned to do other certain things.
Robert, I'm sure, I have no doubt about this, was in the same situation in his life.
He is in the nexus of lots of different things which make him perfectly positioned to do something.
This experience that he has experienced,
where he's come up against a political hard wall,
where his research cannot get funded,
that is going to gear him into the next phase of his life.
And maybe it's up to him to do something,
or maybe it's up to him to inspire someone to do something.
Big things will come of it.
Robert, you're an important piece of the machinery,
and I don't want you to get destitute or distracted from what you're
trying to do love your life have fun move if you need to but embrace all of it love every moment
love every day close enough to the lines from ario speed wagon uh yeah robert all you can do
is put your head down and keep going man what. What we have now is a voice message.
Oh, let's hear it. Hey, boyos.
Just wanted to let you know that keep your friends close and your enemy closer.
Not in the Bible.
I think you're confusing it with love your neighbor as yourself.
However, fun fact about friends close and enemies closer,
the guy who coined that actually got stabbed in the back by an enemy that he kept too close.
Look into it.
It's hilarious.
That comes from our friend David in Santa Monica.
Real quick, we definitely need more voice messages.
That was awesome.
I love that you obviously did that while you were in between two jobs
I love it
I fucking love it
Very clearly and audibly
Do you reckon that's true?
Walking and working
I actually, you know what, I don't even want to know
I'm going to assume it is, even if it isn't
This message comes to us from Brian
Hello again
Sguidal and Tim Tim
Did I say it right?
Do you think? Sguidal Guidal? I I say it right? Do you think?
Sguidal
Guidal
I don't quite know what he's playing against
We don't know enough cultural references
To realise what people are parroting
When they send us the names all the time
But the message continues
Thanks for reading my humble message on the potty
Ah, we'll be here again
I wanted to follow up and explain the bear bear pronunciation tim mentioned he didn't realize they were uh they were pronounced differently
in different dialects in my american accent at least bear the animal sounds like b-a-r-e
and we've got a little cartoon picture of um george the curious monkey i think
uh ps that picture i attached was spritle and chim chim from the enemy speed
from the anime speed racer there you go so every put your mic to your mouth so we can all hear
that's the reference at the start of the message you got it dude
you got it i i will okay so this is hilarious because we've skipped over this but b-a-r-e
another homophone you know he's added one to the mix yeah this is what this is hilarious because we've skipped over this, but B-A-R-E, another homophone.
You know, he's added one to the mix.
Yeah.
This is the comedy Brian's brought to the fore.
Yeah.
Fucking good stuff.
Fucking.
That was the whole message.
Fucking cracking.
Yeah, absolutely.
Oh, fuck.
He got his joke and he got out of there, man.
That's what you do.
That's what you bloody do.
George Costanza'd it.
I've got one for you.
Boys! I can't believe it's taken me this long
to get in touch
I've been along for the ride
since the 10th episode
of the first season I think
you've been a staple
through my university years
of which you most certainly
helped me get through
with my sanity intact
you were there
right from the beginning
making me laugh out loud
on countless bus rides
and lunch breaks
my first proper job
and now
I'm about to graduate.
My favourite memory
is the table read
you guys did
and probably
every Steve Buscemi
mystery tour.
Thanks for truly
losing yourselves
down the rabbit hole.
Lots of love
from Gabby.
Gabby,
thank you so much
for that message.
I
appreciate it
greatly.
That makes me so
wistful
for season one.
You know?
Feel me, dog?
I hear you.
I've got one last message.
I think.
Do I?
I think so.
Oh, look.
I hope you got a good one to follow this up.
Yeah, I've got one to close us out.
Ahoy, Grimette and Toy Boncomery.
I have a recommendation for something for you to do while in New York City.
Find and befriend TJ Miller.
I'm dead serious.
You've read this?
On the podcast or just to you?
On the podcast.
Have I actually?
I'm pretty sure.
It says that TJ Miller was speaking on his podcast about being lonely.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did I not just read that to you?
No, I think you're right, actually.
I'm very intelligent, if nothing else.
Dave, thank you for that message.
And now I'm terrified that I've actually read all of the messages before.
Oh, yes.
Do you want to go?
I've got donation messages, which are more important i should lead
with them but i missed them because i'm an idiot good new system here folks it's not flawless
well someone has sent us this oh oh no it's a video which we can't view in our oh my okay
ladies and ladies and gentlemen of the friend zone,
what you've got to appreciate about living in New Zealand is often a link will get posted online,
usually a video on YouTube, often from SNL,
and you'll try to view it and it will say
the uploader has made this content not viewable in your country.
We're in America and we just hit one of those
because the link that tried to be sent to us
was a video from
the New Zealand band
The Feelers
featuring
your favourite DJ of mine
James Reid
guys cranked it out
on Spotify instead
the message comes from
Yarden
saying you're good boys
brave boys
and downright silly boys
I've now gone through
56 episodes of The Worst Saturday of All Time
and can't help but feel you've forgotten one of the feelers' biggest bangers of all time.
That is all.
Keep it up.
Yarden.
What's the name of this song?
I was never a big feelers fan.
Larger than life.
Of course.
Was this from Super System as well?
Nah, this is more recent.
This is like mid-2000s.
Yeah, you're right.
Oh, boy.
What album was that?
Playground Battle, 2003.
Oh, George Service.
I'm now thinking that the two eyes was maybe a misprint
because on here there's only one.
My boys, here's some cash for you.
I've sent you an email with my full message.
What a fucking lovely dude. i think you're fucking lovely dude
i think you're right um because the facebook one that he demands messages on his two eyes oh i
oh god who's to tell um phyllis lancer oh boy there's no message i really hope that's okay
that i said you know i'm really sorry if it isn't but thank you so much for the 25 fucking dollars
us and another one i'd like to highlight in this episode of the friend zone fucking dollars, US. And another one I'd like to highlight
in this episode of the Friend Zone
is from John, who's seen us.
You want to hazard a guess?
Michael Patrick King.
$4 and...
20 cents.
Yes, bro!
Hello, Timbo, Guy Guy, Timbly Wimbly, and The Flash.
I love the show and wanted to share the story
of a hearty chuckle I had back in the spring
while catching up on season 3.
I was listening to episode 10, 420 Fuckboys.
An episode in which Guy complains about the boring 23 and 24 year old fuckboys starring in the film.
He then goes on to say, sorry, quote marks, 420 fuckboys in a room vaping on weed pens.
I listened to this as a 24 year old boy who was at that very moment vaping on a weed pen
i had such a good laugh at the irony irony of the moment that i had to send you beautiful boys
a stoner's fiver it's like a regular fiver but with less economic value thanks 420 fuck boy
hashtag vape life i like that i like the cut of your jib intensely, John. Thank you so much. Well, circle, cut my bacon.
I sure like the cut of your jibberish.
Well, howdy ho, Nebreeno to the north.
You got it.
He'll keep going all night, folks.
Probably knows the whole season.
Hey, we should round this off,
because I think we are audibly getting a little sleepy
in this hot room at the end of a long day.
Yeah, we should but
this is huge okay great let's go on an adventure to round off i'm getting comfy buckle up tim
buckaroo and i'm not your buddy guy montgomery this is gonna be a long one okay here we go this
is gonna take us home okay that being said i don't feel like you need to read it on the friend
zone especially since you never ever especially since I never ever paid you boys anything.
Soon to change.
As a side note.
Can I just say?
Irrelevant.
You don't need to pay us to get on here.
How much is a Patrick King worth?
I want to start by saying thank you, boys.
For three years, you all have enjoyed, endured,
a grueling adventure by watching these movies.
Your friends really appreciate what you all do.
And what's more is that even after all you'll have been through you still let your friends know what they meant to you for fuck's sake for fuck's sake you started another podcast about it
it's been really great listening to your lives change over the years tim you started you started
a podcast network that churns out some high quality air source. You got engaged and you've managed to keep Guy in line for this long.
I feel like you've done heaps.
It was truly bittersweet
when you penalized yourselves
in other eight watches
because I was excited for more of the potty
but I didn't want your friends
to have to go through it.
Guy, you're doing hosting now
and I swear over these three years
the amount of shows you announce in the podcast
that I can't go to because I live in the u.s has increased a ton you probably do other
stuff too but whatever thank you now on from the emotional sappy crap let me let me stop you there
he's in the u.s now so this is huge this is yeah i am here now uh from the emotional sappy crap and
some fun stuff by the end of this crazy mess, you will have watched around 315 hours of these three movies.
A little over 13 days of movies.
This is a mess that we did together.
Here are some other things
that 13 days can be used for.
Keeping in mind,
the 13 days doesn't include
time recording the potty.
Fedor Konyakov flew around the world
in a little over 11 days
in a balloon.
The Empire State Building was built at a rate of
4.5 stories per week meaning that in the time you'll spend watching these movies they would
have built over eight stories you could have watched all 236 episodes of friends 3.4 times
you could have traveled to the moon and back twice m McDonald's would have used over 35 million pounds of beef.
Or, how big is that number?
15,875,732.95 kilos.
I like that you put the.95 in for the kilos.
Just round it up, dude.
About 4.7 babies would have been born.
Across 13 fucking days?
I feel like it's a little bit more than 4.
No, hold on.
Maybe he means...
4.7 million?
Or 0.47 of a baby?
Like gestation period?
Anyway.
No, that's not right.
I don't know.
You could have peed.
You would have peed
oh hold on
maybe he's talking about
labour
from when you go into labour
to when you have a baby
on average
maybe that's four babies
four and a half babies worth
two days
I don't understand
so like when you
when you
you know
labour doesn't last
the same amount of time
for everyone though
no that's right
but he's taken an average
like all of these figures
we're getting sidetracked.
I imagine that more than 4.7 babies are born every two weeks.
You would have peed 23,587 litres of pee if you peed constantly through all the watches.
I mean, that one's curly.
1,866 people die every 13 days from drug overdose in the USA.
Poor squirrel.
Whoa, we're getting in there.
In 13 days, Adam Sandler makes about $1 million.
Fuck.
You could sing I Am Woman 5,479 times.
These stats are very good.
And lastly, in all the time you spent on the potty,
the watches, the records, the re-records,
with all of that time,
you could make a podcast that provided tons and tons of people
who are now your friends with countless hours of entertainment.
And that's way more special than any of the stuff I listed.
You boys are good boys, special boys,
fuck boys, and friendly boys.
Live every sentimental moment.
Love every coffee-infused day.
Your friend, Ganano.
P.S. It's pronounced Rally, North Carolina.
And I have deliberately mispronounced the phonetic spelling you've provided me with.
Oh, and if you do end up reading this on the friend zone, feel free to say my name.
I'll refer to you as the pen name you provide I was with Ganano
that was a beautiful message
a wonderful way to round out this friendzone number 61
thank you so much
I feel so warm
and it's a combination of the
the high caliber of the messages
and just the friendliness of the vibes
that have been sent to us
and the unspeakable heat in this room
while I wear two coats
well it's cold out
but it's warm here.
Take that.
It's the friend zone.
It's cold out, but it's warm in here.
That's right.
Friend zone.
It's a massage for your feelings.
Thank you so much, everybody.
One more reminder, the live shows,
head along to worstheaderyofalltime.com if you want the specific details.
Season two of hosting
will be dropping
it might even be out
by the time this episode goes live
so please check that out
if you want to
Tim have you got anything to say?
I would like to tell everyone
to be good
good advice
timely
look after each other everybody
we will see you very soon.