The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Sixty Six
Episode Date: March 30, 2018Tickets to Guy's shows can be found hereTickets to Tim's shows can be found hereIt's the last of the summer wine. Please enjoy a private discussion between Guy, Tim and you, our friend on the trajecto...ry of The Worst Idea of All Time, on live comedy shows from the boiz, speech impediments, the health of Montgomery and a teaser of some Neil Breen flavoured content. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Well it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy, come to the friend zone, and have a good time, yes it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy, cause making friends is the best idea of all time.
And we're live. And we're rolling.
Hello, welcome along to this, the last of the summer wine friend zone.
I imagine, not because Tim and I are ceasing to be friends or running out of wine.
No, it's just, it's a beautiful day here in sunny Auckland, New Zealand.
And it feels as though this is summer's last because it's been quite a wet week.
This is a real message in a bottle.
In the great words of Sting.
Probably not appropriate to describe the current situation.
The message in the bottle thing for me is more like,
you haven't heard from us for a while, we're chucking a message out there.
Well, actually, if you give me a chance, I was going to quote popular musician Sting.
Oh.
Are you doing it now?
I'll be watching you.
Oh, okay.
Terrifying.
That was the Sting quote I wanted. I'll be watching you. Oh, okay. Terrifying. That was the sting quote I wanted.
I'll be watching you.
That's what you want to let everyone know who's still subscribed to our podcast stream,
which at this point, you're a God's honest hero if you're still subscribed.
That's interesting.
I agree.
But also, scarcity.
We have made ourselves just scarce enough that this could be intriguing.
This is it
Because here was the thing about the podcast
The worst idea of all time
It starts off
And if you got in at the ground floor
Early in season one
You felt pretty good
You were like you know what
I reckon these boys have got something
They don't quite have it yet
But I can see something here
That's a long three-year wait.
With the likes of the vice.com interviews
and the propulsion into internet stardom,
a few more latches on come in and they go,
I'm part of something here, I'm part of something.
And then by the end of the third season,
I think even you and I thought that we had gotten a bit long in the tooth.
So you know what we did?
We put it on the windowsill. We put that
potty on the windowsill and we waited for everyone to
lose interest. We waited for the
temperature to just drop off. It's like
what Jack White's done with his music career.
Where he came out with a bang and everyone was like
this is incredible. And then
he sort of, actually no, everyone was like wow this guy's
got potential. And then it was like this guy's incredible.
And then no one asked for him
to, no one asked for him not to, but he did keep
going. Yes he did.
It's literally the perfect analogy.
What do you think he's doing right now,
Jack White, at this very moment?
Smoking
a cigarallo, drinking
a bowl latte, ironically.
I think consuming food and drink ironically is probably the funniest
thing a human can do in their lives how much spite and contempt do you have to have for the
modern order of things that you're putting stuff into your mouth with irony it's beautiful it's so
good isn't it it's i'm today i'm consuming a bowl latte but rest assured i'm
doing so ironically i am jack black the world's greatest artist jack it just looks like you're
drinking a big milky coffee i meant jack white but jack black probably would do that for a gag as
well yeah but see jack white does it ironically in privacy Jack Black would only Do it on camera A live stream
And that's the difference
Between black and white
Oh
Nice
It's good to have you
Back on a microphone
Guy Montgomery
And in a different form
Than I have been used to
That I haven't been seeing
The last week
I've been watching you
On the stage
Oh yeah
Star of stage and screen
That's you
Guy Montgomery
Well that's actually
Rose Matafeo
I love that turn of phrase.
And Rose Matafeu has used it as a promotional gambit on her poster.
That poster is fucking awesome, mate.
It's banging hot, isn't it?
Is it based on the old tourism posters for places like Samoa?
No, it's based on a draft of a poster I showed her in secret.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
For your show?
Yeah. Were you going to put a photo of no. Yeah. For your show? Yeah.
Were you going to put a photo of yourself or of Rose on your poster?
All Rose's name, like everything specific to Rose.
Everything that I've seen, that was your poster designed for your show.
Were you engaging in that ironically?
No, no.
I was doing that in earnest.
Oh, right.
To advertise your comedy show.
Yeah, and I was going to beg Rose to recommend to the people who go to her show
to check out my show.
That is fucking genius.
I wish I'd done that when Jimmy Carr came to town in Auckland.
People love Jimmy Carr.
Yes, they do.
I loved him.
When I first saw him, he was the host of that TV show Distraction.
Do you remember that?
British game show.
Did they sort of tickle your balls or something
and you had to keep talking?
Yeah, sort of different contestants
who were just British people who were open,
sort of, you know, like skewed slightly younger,
open to public humiliation,
would do various,
they'd have to answer basic quiz questions
or sort of information like that,
while various different states of embarrassment
were thrust upon them.
And Jimmy Carr would sort of put, they'd inevitably do poorly,
and Jimmy Carr would thrive as he would just put them down
as soon as they did something wrong.
What kind of states of embarrassment are we talking about?
What, informational exchange?
Or people being disrobed?
They're being disrobed occasionally, or like just...
Embarrassing photos being revealed on screen?
No, no, no, no.
Not so mental.
More just like to embarrass you.
Okay.
Something that would throw your concentration off
while you're trying to answer simple questions.
We've got a 53-year-old mum from Essex in
and we're going to ask her about titty clubs
to try and embarrass her on the show.
No.
Am I in the ballpark?
You are so far from the ballpark.
You're practicing on a different sports field the sport that i'm playing but you're just so confused can't get my head
around what the show is you're pitching baseballs on an ice hockey rink i really want to know what
distraction is now i'm sure there's a wikipedia give me like let's put you under pressure because
maybe that'll crystallise the idea.
30-second sort of pitch.
What is the format of distraction, Guy?
Basic quiz show, but the twist is
that the contestants are all subdued to various different
sort of bits of physical embarrassment
while they answer simple questions.
And we have a professional comedian who's very good at roasting
who will lambast them with sort of asides and one-liners as soon as they inevitably slip up.
It's a can't-miss prospect.
We'll export it to New Zealand, play it at about 10pm, I think on a Friday on Channel 2, which is like BBC 2.
You'll probably notice I've got a New Zealand accent.
And time. That was really good. I'm with you now.
So I've been seeing you on the stage recently guy you've been we went to christchurch and did some shows back to back
um to varying levels of success well the first one was a disaster wasn't it because we both
started talking at the same time and i think it was then that we realized well you've got to try
these things because how are you to know before you kick in how something's going to go well and
so while we do have to honor the marketing materials by remaining physically back-to-back during the performances,
what we would do is we'd both stand there for two hours and we'd speak an hour at a time.
It was one of the worst gigs I've taken part in.
And the audience didn't care for it at all either.
No.
But, once again, one must try these things.
Mustn't one? Well, two must, one must try these things, mustn't one?
Well, two must, actually.
This is true. If it's back-to-back, if you're going back-to-back, but just by yourself, what are you doing?
You are the personification of one hand clapping.
Mmm. Almost.
Get a load of that one, eh? Chew over that one, podcast fans.
And now it's your opportunity to tell us how you're doing.
Yeah.
Am I a podcast fan or am I a guy?
No, we're listening.
You're talking now. Okay.
Sorry.
Sorry to speak over you.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, dicey.
Dicey.
That's fair.
All right.
Hey, let me just validate what you're feeling about that
and what did you say
well you can't say that anymore
you certainly can't
yeah well
I'd sooner just
end the conversation
to be honest
if you're going to be like that
but look
I just want to say
I see where you're coming from
you know
I understand why you've got
you know
you're grossly
I understand God doesn't but Timbo's got your back timbo's got your back um that's what i've got
back to back with tim bat that is next year's show what i do is i pick out one person in the
front row because um when you go to a comedy show everyone hates sitting in the front row
because they're afraid they'll get, you know, referenced.
Lampooned.
They are concerned they'll get lampooned.
And some comedians do that, and I detest the ones who do,
because they're ruining it for everyone else.
You can still have an audience involved without embarrassing them.
Absolutely.
But you're speaking specifically about people who are bad at it.
There are some comedians who go, I'm going to do crowd work, but I am so scared.
The only thing I can do is put them down in a sort of public arena bullying spectacular.
But it'll just be crass, bad commentary at an audience member.
And I don't care for that.
So what I'm going to do next year's show, back to back with Tim Batt, is I'm going to select someone from the front row.
And they're going to go back to back with me Batt is I'm going to select someone from the front row and they're going to go back to back
with me as I
do the entire show
for an hour. They're going to
speak? No no no they will be
like shoulder to shoulder. Physically like we were? Exactly
I'm going to involve someone who isn't a comedian
so they can get a sense of the thing. Didn't work
last week I see no reason why it would suddenly
work a year from now. Who's the
British talk show host with the slight speech impediment?
Jonathan Ross.
It's such an endearing, because I just did it by accident there,
but I'm kind of pondering maybe changing your speech.
Is that appropriation if I grab a speech impediment
because I think it's charming?
That's a good question
actually.
Yeah.
Probably.
Yeah, it doesn't
feel flawless.
If you say it out loud
beforehand,
then it is.
And if it isn't,
then you can see
how it goes.
And if anyone says
anything,
you can plead ignorance.
I've got a wee weird twerk.
You know,
it's just fun to...
But you wouldn't
say that anyway.
No, I wouldn't.
I was trying to desperately think of a sentence I would say with some
R's in there and I just, I choked.
I really did. Well, it starts with
a W.
Oh, here's the trick shot for you.
Written, because it's got W-R.
A well-written piece.
Yeah. It's just that
if you slacken the mouth a little bit,
it's nice. Well, it's similar to the way that El the mouth a little bit it's nice well it's
similar to the way
that Elmer Fudd spoke
that's right
when he was hunting
rabbits
I think
I think I might give it a go guy
I think that might be
me from here on in
not while I'm on a microphone
mind you
but in day to day conversation
I want everyone to know
out there that
you know
I'll take the hat off
once the mic's on
I'm a broadcasting pro
there's a skill in it
because you would imagine
you soften if someone has a soft speech impediment like that
It's disarming isn't it?
Yeah it's very disarming
and it could be quite a potent weapon as an interviewer
Is this the secret to Jonathan Ross' success?
I think it's dogged persistence
and probably some good luck and talent.
And then, yeah, the speech affectation probably didn't hurt either.
We're really just shooting the breeze, aren't we?
Yeah, absolutely.
This is ordinarily the space that a friend's zone would occupy,
but I'm going to rename this the last of the summer wine.
Last of the summer wine.
Would that be an additional sort of sequential thing or just a one-off thing that's called last of the Summer Wine. Would that be an additional sort of sequential thing
or just a one-off thing that's called Last of the Summer Wine?
We should record a podcast which is just, you know,
through the year, our relationship to the summer wine.
The same bottle?
We do it in shots or something?
What's your date?
No, no, no.
Just, you know, it's a wine forecast and retrospective.
Right.
Like a podcast.
Last of the Summer Wine.
Almanac.
Forthcoming Summer Wine.
We could do it with a H-W-H-I-N-E and talk about our gripes.
It's not a segment on a sort of new age current affairs show.
But it could be.
Anything can be anything.
Anything can be anything.
That's the beauty of it, Guy.
What's been happening since last we caught up with you, Guy?
You're missing a few teeth.
Yeah, I got sick.
You got in a big fight with a virus.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I got tonsillitis.
I saw a GP in New Zealand, and he said,
what you have is a virus.
And I said, all right, mate.
And he said, you'll be all right in two or three days.
And two or three days later, tomorrow was worse.
Yeah.
Much worse.
I saw you.
So I saw a GP in Brisbane, and he said,
you've got bacterial tonsillitis.
Have some antibiotics.
Which people are, people, if you tell people
you're going to take antibiotics, they go they go this so bad, but I love them
I think people's concern with antibiotics isn't you taking them
Yeah, yeah guy Montgomery's okay. He's on the whitelist
And then so I took those for a few days and I started feeling better
Which is why I think that they're good but then my wisdom teeth my teeth
two teeth
started growing
through my gums
as loudly as possible
don't you think
all teeth are doing that though
yeah but these ones
or do they go back in
from whence they came
they're treating an outie
as an innie
you know sharks
have a lifetime
supply of teeth
what are you
oh yeah
yeah dude
shark sharks they've got like up to 20,000 teeth in their lifetime yeah Sharks have a lifetime supply of teeth. What are you... Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude.
Shark... Sharks...
They've got like up to 20,000 teeth in their lifetime.
Yeah.
And their skin...
Yes.
You know sharks are programmed for silence?
Like even their skin is adjusted so that they can move through the water.
None of their organs make any noise.
They move through the water silently.
The silent sea killer.
I didn't know that.
That's amazing.
Wait a minute.
Am I to believe that other sea creatures produce sound?
Yeah.
You ever heard an octopus?
I haven't heard an octopus.
I reckon a hand on heart octopus, the most fascinating living thing.
They're so smart. Have you read that? They're so smart have you read that crazy smart
they're smarter than dolphins really probably they're so nuts i can't remember if this was
about um octopi or mushrooms but um one of those two things they're like the dna is so different
from anything else.
It must be mushrooms
actually, I think.
A certain kind of fungi.
Maybe just fungi generally.
That what?
It's so alien
that it's like
this is confusingly
different to everything
else we have here.
You know sharks
are older than trees
from an evolutionary
standpoint?
Trees got here
after sharks.
That's wild.
That's not to say
that there are sharks
from that time still alive today.
No, nor trees.
But we wouldn't necessarily know.
Such massive chunks
of the ocean remain unexplored
and God knows how much oil
there is down there. It's ridiculous. We've got to go
get it. Don't you see
everybody? We've got to go and get that
oil. Imagine riding a
shark. How fun would that be
riding a silent killer through the ocean no scary oh it'd be so good if you could strap in somehow
you know it'd be like riding a horse but so much better because it wouldn't have that kind of
anything the pace at which the shark would move in the amount of water you'd consume
you don't have a snorkel you don't have a face mask oh you're riding a shark oh okay
i thought i thought there was a small bit It's just you riding a shark Oh okay I thought
I thought there was
A small bit of apparatus involved
You drown
And then your body
Would decompose
On the back of this shark
While you're still strapped in
And eventually
It's friends would come over
And rip you
Limb from limb
Oh boy
You'd be dead by then
I'd be met with a grizzly end
In the ocean
Poseidon's playground
They call it
Do you know what
Poseidon's kitchen is? The call it. Do you know what Poseidon's Kitchen is?
The rock pools?
The tropical nation of Fiji.
True story.
It's where he goes to cook.
It's quite fun to think of different land masses
as rooms in Poseidon's house.
So I'll tell you what I was doing since last we met.
Thanks for asking, Guy.
Went and got myself married You assisted
Really did us a solid there
Came in
Big part of the day
Yeah well thanks for asking me
I didn't assist
Legally
No but that's alright
Ceremonially
Yeah
It was a beautiful day wasn't it
Most important part
Guy was co-celebrating.
Is that the verb of celebrate?
Yeah, there were only two of us celebrating.
A lot of angry punters.
Yeah, people were furious at what I thought was a beautiful union
between myself and Zoe.
But those in attendance, close friends and family,
absolutely ropeable.
Yeah.
The whole affair.
We paid a lot of money.
We had put a lot of work into planning the day. It's like organising your own protest really, wasn't it? But against yourself rather than for a cause you believe in.
Which is an outrageous thing. Well yeah, it was devastating. But aside from that, it was a beautiful day.
Yeah, the weather was good, that's for sure. If I'm going to get yelled at by people I've invited,
I'd rather do it out of the rain if it's all the same.
Oh, hear those native birds?
Good bird noise, isn't it?
That is like a recording from Apple or some shit.
Yeah, with the national radio. What if other countries have this?
So our state broadcaster, our radio station, Radio New Zealand National, they do bird songs,
what, every hour?
Is it?
Yeah, before the news they do a different bird song and they tell you which bird it is.
What a great idea that someone just came up with that at some point.
You know what we could do?
Biff on some birds.
There are a lot of good ideas happening on public radio.
Yeah?
Name three that aren't the bird song thing.
Every second week, they'll call me up
and ask me what I think about the conflict in the Middle East.
Yeah.
One of the greatest ideas any broadcaster anywhere has had before.
I have a lot of takes.
Yeah, yeah.
We don't get into them on the podcast often,
or at all, because we just felt like delineating the spaces.
But you should hear guys' incredibly contentious takes
on what's happening in the Middle East.
That's the best idea that public radio has ever had.
The second would be the bird calls that we were just talking about.
Why, sure.
That's a fantastic idea.
And the third is no ads,
because the government can't be seen to supporting to be
supporting any specific commercial enterprise over another and uh it's just nice to have a space
which is exclusively for sort of uh new zealand focused yeah ruminating on informed balanced uh
sort of radio and journalism i might be going to the Middle East ever so briefly touching down in Tehran, Iran
if I have a friend who's moved there
yeah
that'd be so cool
it would be so cool
actually I'm more acquaintances
with the same friend
and I got him to look it up one night
and sort of
greased the social wheels
to the point that he said to me
you should drop in
he's a great guy
yeah well I'd love to go and speak publicly over there.
Oh.
Well, look.
Do you know what?
I think you should plan that one out.
Put it on a bit of paper and have a chat to some experts.
Yeah, man.
And see what they have to say about that guy.
I think that's something you need to talk out a little bit before it happens.
I'm trying to.
Rather than just running with it.
Talking it out on national radio.
Yep.
Tuesdays, 4.30pm.
Oh boy.
So that is huge though, Tim.
Your wedding was the greatest wedding I've been to.
The speeches, truly unbelievable.
Thank you.
It was a staggeringly good wedding.
Thank you.
It's incredible to think that the podcast is older than the relationship which turned into a marriage, isn't it?
Oh, that is certainly an interesting bit of framework.
Well, I think it's important that this isn't just a completely self-indulgent, you know,
wrought of everyone's time guy.
And what I'm trying to do is, you know, bring it back home.
Oh, you're smart.
You know, this is what I'm trying to do is bring it back home. Oh, you're smart. You know?
This is what I'm saying.
A lot of people giving us a heads up that Cynthia Nixon is in the gubernatorial race for the great state of New York.
And I tell you what, if King Brady was going to make a play,
this is classic him, isn't it?
Yeah.
This is classic him.
Pretty transparent stuff, to be completely honest.
This is classic him.
Pretty transparent stuff, to be completely honest.
I am surprised that virtually no one,
save for a few brave political figures on Twitter who have gotten in touch directly with us to alert us to this,
have seen and started talking about this.
I mean, the evidence is all there.
Yeah.
Connect the dots, people.
Yeah.
It's all waiting for you.
Do you want us to literally
pick up a vivid
and connect the dots for you?
We've drawn the picture.
It's so clear.
The dots are less
than a centimeter apart.
You can look,
you can see what it is.
And it's Brady.
It's always been Brady.
And it's horrible scrawl
of a script.
And it just says
world domination.
But I like the way that he's going about it
because it's not sort of
with an iron fist
he's using the political
systems we've put in
to you know
against us
it's brilliant
and I you know
personally I look forward
to bowing down
in front of our
rat faced masters
yeah yeah I think
you're going to be right
in the belly of the beast guy
you're based over there now.
I'll be back there in May, hopefully just in time for the tide change.
They say change is as good as a holiday.
But what if the change is Brady grabbing the reins of power
through a political backdoor,
vis-Ã -vis Cynthia Nixon becoming governor of New York?
Wow.
Is that a holiday to you?
Tim, you know...
It's a holiday.
Where there's Brady,
Dick Bock can't be far behind. I mean
God knows how this guy's going to manifest.
Yeah. I call him a guy.
He's more of an artificial intelligence
cyborg.
I think
he's going to emerge out of this whole Facebook mess.
That's what I think.
Everyone's a bit
peed off. A bit PO'd
at Facebook at the moment. I think what's happened
is they've accidentally created Dickbot
in their labs with all those computers
plugged together. He lives amongst the skyscrapers
of data. Yeah, he's in there.
Certainly
I'm not sure
if we've sort of gone to his birth but I reckon that'd be
I'd put my money on there
Facebook
I think he was
Maybe
Was there a collaboration between
The Japanese and
The USSR or the Russians?
Not Mark Zuckerberg
Dick bot
Although
I'd have to go back through the history books
And the anals of history
Because I can't remember off the top of my head
Exactly where the truth lies
with that one.
Yeah.
It's a trouble.
You say things,
you don't remember them,
but you listen to things,
you remember them
a little bit better.
We never listened
to the worst idea
because we were making it.
Yeah, we lived it, man.
We were there.
I don't need to go back.
You don't watch video footage
of your World Cup defeats. No, that's right. You learn from them, but you don't watch video footage of your World Cup defeats.
No, that's right.
You learn from them, but you don't watch them.
Guy and I watched another one of...
What's his name again?
The filmmaker who...
Neil deGrasse Tyson.
No, no, no.
Neil something.
Do you know it?
Neil...
Breen.
The Breen Machine.
We've been getting into Neil Breen's back catalogue
And we actually watched
Oh crap
What is it called
Fortunate Places
I can't remember
It was one of the
Freakiest things I've ever seen
And I've bloody
You know what I've gone and done
I've gone and
I looked everywhere
High and low
Dick Bot stole the recording
Of that one
For sure
He plucked it from the computer
And that's gone
So we're going to watch that one again In Melbourne actually yeah we should do that we'll lock ourselves into it
we should we should watch a few things in melbourne i've got you on the record now yeah yeah no by all
means i mean we're both going to be there we will be and uh when you're in a different city i find
your daytime is uh you treat things time you get it i get a bit more efficient actually I think when I'm away
Yeah I become somehow even more inefficient
Oh really?
Yeah
Oh okay
I struggle to break into a routine, I treat every day like a holiday
It honestly decimates my ability to achieve anything
Is that the change aspect is why you're treating it as a holiday?
No I think it's a lack of self-discipline and control.
Oh, okay.
Fair enough.
But all that's to say,
amongst the sort of unravelling
of my ability to achieve anything by daylight,
by night we're both going to be there
for the Melbourne Comedy Festival.
The Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
You missed out the key word.
For we are Kiwis infiltrating the beautiful land of Australia
to show our comedy wares
to ones and tens
of people at a time.
Who knows?
It's going to be stunning.
It's actually happening
very soon.
Up to 19.
Could be any number of people.
Yeah, it's happening
from...
How big is your room?
It fits 19 people in there.
67.
People could
at any point
watch the show simultaneously.
No more?
Or 68 if it's a fire.
No less.
Definitely less.
There will be nights when it's less.
I will only perform to one number.
67.
Is it a prime?
Feels like one.
Probably.
You can't divide it by three.
No.
Nor two.
Nor four.
Nothing even. 13? Nope. it by three no nor two nor four nothing even 13 nope fuck i've got to jump through so many hoops
to multiply 13 i'm multiplying 10 first and then i'm also multiplying three and then i'm adding
the results of those two equations yeah that's how you do it isn't it can't people do it at the
same time so we're going to be at the melbourne international comedy festival so soon i have sold very few tickets because i kind of and amongst all the other little projects
i'm doing at the moment kind of forgot to promote my show guy what a classic well it's a good thing
there's this brilliant uh conversation we've just had on the record oh my god through which you can
ferry the information what's your show called it's an abuse of power is what we're engaging in
and the show is called
My Outrage Is Better Than Your Outrage.
It's a good title.
I bought a drum kit for it.
The drum kit cost me several hundred dollars
and it has cost me again
several hundred more dollars
to transport to the great cities
of Melbourne, Australia, Sydney, Australia,
Wellington and Christchurch
here in New Zealand.
And I tell you what, I can't really play the drums
Well, I tell you what
if nothing else, it should be a good opportunity to learn
Yeah, definitely get some time
I look forward to seeing the finished
or the latest
version of the show, whereby I imagine it'll be very drum
heavy. Yeah, it's going to be
all drums. You'll be misguidedly confident
and eager to see value for money
on the investment. gotta get a return
it's a good show though
I've seen it
thank you Guy
I saw your show as well
and it was excellent
well thank you
my show's called
Guy Montgomery
doesn't check his phone
for an hour
and that's all
we'll say about it
if you want to buy tickets
and you're in Melbourne
or you know anyone in Melbourne
who'd want to see these shows
just google our names
and Melbourne
and it's good it's truly that simple I'm gonna chuck see these shows, just Google our names and Melbourne.
And it's good. It's truly that simple.
I'm going to chuck a
I wonder what the next Patreon was actually
in order. It'll be one that we did ages and ages
ago up on this stream.
And then onto the Patreon
we'll be
reviewing The Brain Machine.
We're going to have to watch that same movie again.
It's something places
it is a terrifying piece of cinema you guys got to get on board with neil breen because he is
he's churning out content at a rate of knots and he's not taking no for an answer i assume he's
hearing it a little bit one of the main uh motifs i felt like he very uh ham-fistedly tried to weave through that
film was the information that he is not a pedophile yes i remember having that uh that conversation
during the record i'm sure we'll bring it up again a very interesting point to make so insistently
it's so funny when you are a writer director, and star of your own film, for you- And doing catering, lest we forget.
Yeah, under a pseudonym.
When you are then inserting-
Under a pseudonym.
Show something with a different character.
Neil, we need you on set right now.
I'm not Neil.
I'm wearing my other hat.
I'm Brian.
Literally.
The cook.
You want the cook to direct your movie?
I don't.
It's like a text dodge or something.
Because he tells you in the credits, he goes, any company with the initials NB is Neil Breen.
And it's like, you've given us the clue to unlock the door.
Why not just put your own name if you're going to do that?
It's literally every listed member of the credits.
Yeah.
It's like, you know, casting support, such and such company.
It's just, it's insane.
The guy, to walk around in that brain for 15 minutes, man, the things you would see.
No, thank you.
But he provides so many opportunities through the vehicle of a 15, 16-year-old girl who keeps, like, hitting on him.
And he's like, no, I'm a good man.
And it's like, Neil, you're coming on pretty fucking strong with that song and dance.
Neil, you're literally making this 15-year-old girl hit on you.
Yeah, exactly.
You've constructed the whole edifice.
You don't get credit for that, mate.
My God.
And the first time he does it, you're like, eh, a little on the nose,
but I see he's got a moral compass.
And by the fourth, you're like, come on, Neil, no one's buying this anymore.
Stop talking about it.
Anyway, so a more fleshed out version of that conversation to look forward to.
Oh, what a tease.
What a great tease, eh?
What a beautiful tease.
How do you get to the Patreon, I hear you ask?
I'm pretty sure you go patreon.com slash worst idea.
I think that's the URL.
And that's where we put the things.
The things you see.
Yeah.
There's some videos on there of live performances that we did in America, for example.
You're dealing with a married man now, Guy.
I'm going to get my head on a swivel.
Get this thing back up and running.
You're a smart man, Tim.
You're a married man.
It's not true.
The last 36 hours are testament to that.
I've been struggling my way through a little video project, everyone.
Yeah.
And it's not been going well.
And then yesterday, because quite honestly, the best bar in Auckland shut down and I went,
fuck all of this.
I went at 6pm and danced my heart out in the rain for six hours.
Came home, went to bed.
That's exactly, that's good for what ails you sometimes.
That's what you need to do.
I probably did need it. What I'd like to say is this. Thank you for what ails you sometimes. That's what you need to do. I probably did need it.
What I'd like to say is this.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for listening.
And thank you to the Golden Dawn for existing.
And come and see us in Melbourne.
Yeah, and this has been the last of the Summer Wine.
And next time you're here, regular friend zone.
And we'll see you in Melbourne.
This is our outro music.