The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Thirty
Episode Date: December 12, 2016Flashbo and TimGuy are back in their friend seats with their friends in the Friendzone. We've got MacBooks at the end of their life cycle, we've got letters from Worst Idea fans, we've got A NEW MUSI...C THEME from Christopher Brown (not the bad one). Also, mediocre brothers, fantastic sisters and Guy and Tim trying to dissect each other flaws and skills. PLUS blast from the past to our Blaze Pizza sponsorship.Trailer: Walk Out Boys Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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This is a Little Empire podcast. Visit us at littleempirepodcast.com and on Twitter at littleempirepod.
Hello ladies and gentlemen across the world far and wide, this is Timbo and GuyGuy.
And we are recording this brief message at the top of our latest friendzone to's a very brief mention in one of the letters today about someone's very yucky boss who was engaged in terrible activity involving kids.
So if you don't want to listen to that, just bail out.
Don't listen to it.
Totally your choice.
And now here is a brand new theme song from Christopher Brown.
Are you going to play that dastardly intro again?
Intro, intro, intro, intro.
This movie's still fine.
He's a cully bastard.
One of the guys that goes through.
One of them's a hot, his name is Jay.
One of them looks like Johnny Depp,
and his name is Johnny Depp.
Classic Max from Joseph.
You forget that films are supposed to have porn. Just can't get enough.
I just can't get enough.
Just can't get enough.
G'day, guy.
G'day, Tim.
Welcome along to you as well.
It's the Friend Zone.
And a huge thank you to Christopher Brown.
Back again with a whole new flavor christoph
abrana shall i read his message he wrote one yeah i'd love to hear it the one that accompanied this
very theme song this very theme song please correct hello timber and flesh and good morning
from boston i wanted to offer you a new version of the theme for the sake of variety,
which as we are
frequently reminded
is the spice of life.
I can't call this a remix
as I absolutely
do not own
the intellectual property
behind this in any facet.
So let's call
the reimagining.
Thank you for keeping up
the good fight
and if you'd like
a live performance
of the theme,
if you guys do
on the East Coast,
USA Live shows,
I'll be happy to schlep to New York or wherever.
Live every moment, love every day.
And damn it, just treat yourself to some weird non-coastal strip mall valley sushi.
Your friend, Christopher Brown.
Christopher Brown is our friend.
And I would love for him to do like a live DJ set at one of our shows.
I would love to him to do like a live DJ set at one of our shows. I would love to hear his voice.
But all just remixes of theme songs.
Of our podcast specifically.
That is the genre.
You're playing to a small crowd, but a fervent crowd.
You know what they like?
You know?
If they're here, if they've turned up, if they've schlepped all that way.
Can you hear that?
That fan on your MacBook.
She's going hell for leather.
She's pretty hot in here.
This thing is really trying to kill itself and has been for some time.
She's gone around the block a couple of times though, eh?
Oh, yeah. Your MacBook here.
How long have you had that thing?
This particular one, probably maybe three and a half, four years.
I had one before it.
We're going to adjust your mic if you don't mind. Just a slight. I mind. Do you want me to sit like this? Oh, that's sexy. particular one probably maybe three and a half four years i have one before i'm gonna adjust
your mic if you don't mind just a slight i mind do you want me to sit like this oh that's sexy
uh yeah i know so i'm related to any audio problems it's just a new way i'm sitting
uh my old macbook pro i cracked the screen and it was broke and i took it into a store
and uh they said it's gonna cost three hundred dollars to fix the screen and i said
you know what i'm fine with that i'll pay cost $300 to fix the screen. And I said, you know what?
I'm fine with that.
I'll pay you $300 to fix the screen.
And then two weeks later, I hadn't heard from the store
and I called them up and said, hey guys,
if I'm not much mistaken,
I was going to pay you $300 to fix the screen on my MacBook Pro.
And they said, oh.
And they were like, your MacBook Pro.
Even better, they were like, oh yeah,
we've been meaning to get in touch with you
about your MacBook Pro.
We lost our database and also all of the physical equipment Even better, they were like, oh, yeah, we've been meaning to get in touch with you about your MacBook Pro.
We lost our database and also all of the physical equipment in our store because we got robbed.
And I was like...
That doesn't sound right.
I was like, that sucks heaps.
Well, hold on for a second.
I understand getting robbed and I understand losing all your databases.
I don't understand both of those things happening at once.
Because your database isn't kept on site, is it? Surely you put that in a little
Google Drive, a little Dropbox?
Electronic store, they sure
had some archaic modes of bookkeeping.
I can tell you that. Suffice it to
say, they gave me a new
MacBook Pro without any of my
stuff on it for the price of $300.
And to this day, I do not know if I got swindled or what happened.
I've not heard that story before.
That's quite a journey.
Did you have anything important on there that you were really gutted to lose?
At the time, yes, but it's been three and a half years now, so it's all-
Photos?
Yeah, definitely photos.
Let's rehash it.
Let's get you upset.
No, no, no, no.
Let's get you nice and upset.
It's cool.
Okay. Hey, welcome to upset. No, no, no. Let's get you nice and upset. It's cool.
Okay.
Hey, welcome to the friend zone, everyone.
A zone where we like to acknowledge all the fabulous people who are out there helping us do what we do,
which is watch We Are Your Friends too many times.
That's all we do.
That's the main thing we do. I mean, outside of this, we've got lives that are fulfilling and bring joy to us and our loved ones around us.
Yeah.
But this is the main thing.
Yeah.
Hey, before we launch into some of the letters, though, we've got to say, mates, that Patreon's just going great.
Can't thank you enough.
Oh, yeah.
The people who have...
How many people are in there now who are supporting us?
It was over 80 last time I checked.
No, it was about 60-something, wasn't it?
No, no, no.
It was over 80.
80.
Kind souls.
That blows my mind.
80 people willing to part with their cold hard cash on a month.
Yeah, 85.
Shit, yes.
To part with their cold hard cash so we could have some of it.
So we could have some of it.
That's how the transaction works.
How the transaction actually works as well,
to be even more specific and add some details,
is there's lots of rewards on there for you to see.
I don't think they'll need any more details.
I feel like we've done a pretty good job explaining how it works.
I'll give them the website if I may.
That's the last detail I'll get.
Because we made a good video that people are enjoying.
Yes.
And you can just watch the video if you want.
Patreon.com slash T-W-I-O-A-T.
That's right.
For the worst idea of all time.
That's what that is.
That's what that acronym means.
Yeah.
Have you not known this whole time?
No, I haven't.
I've been using it a lot.
We've both been hashtagging it.
I just thought it was a word that meant trendy,
like it was an alternative spelling for trendy.
Twit?
Yeah.
So when we'd hashtag the podcast,
I'd be like hashtag trendy is what
i was thinking in my head far out never to worry about that though tim nope no time there's there
really is no time do you want to jump in first i've got a lovely little donation here who's
attached a letter uh okay i'll jump in first then good very good exactly as how it was planned
dear boys in need of payment given that your hijinks and
weekly suffering are among my sister's favorite things in the world i'd like to become a five
dollar level patreon for her so that she can enjoy more of your antics each week oh this is quite an
administrative email but it was marked what do you mean administrative is there a detail in there
how can i go about subscribing to your patreon but make it so that she receives the podcast every
week oh okay that's pretty administrative.
Yeah, that is quite.
And then the second half of it was.
Someone ringing?
Am I ringing?
Oh, I'm ringing.
You're ringing.
Hold on there, Cole.
You keep going.
Yeah, I will.
Thank you for the response.
And then Tim responded because he's a good guy.
Thank you for the response, Spindly.
Tim, I wouldn't go as far as saying I'm a good brother.
More like I'm making up for decades of being a little asshole
or at least trying.
It's hard to tell if you're trying to be a better brother
or have been trying to be a little arsehole.
But either way, good on you for trying.
I'll go ahead and follow your advice on the morning of the 25th
so it'll be a surprise.
I realised I kind of made it sound like she was the only one
who enjoyed the podcast, but I think it's fantastic too
and it brightens my day.
Keep up the good work.
You're both good boys, not fuck boys.
Guy, it's a phone call for both of us,
so let's hit pause for a second.
Okay.
That was not a phone call for us, Tim.
That was a lie.
That was a phone call just for you,
offering you a very high-paying job
in the government?
Yeah.
Can't talk about it,
but let's just say it's not a coincidence
that our Prime Minister has just stepped down.
I just don't see why you had to lord it over me.
Because I wanted to put it on speakerphone so that you can hear the kind of phone calls I'm getting these days.
Hey, look, I'm happy.
I didn't want it to go out because that could spoil my chances of getting the job, but I did want to gloat to you individually.
I'm happy for you, but that just felt specifically mean-spirited.
Anyway, what was that gentleman's name who was getting his sister the Patreon sub?
He didn't say whether or not he wanted to be mentioned or not.
Then we shan't.
Let's just say this.
His name is Rob Cumbie.
Okay.
All right.
Well, very good.
We'll all just use our imaginations and try and imagine what his name could be based on those clues.
Oh, boy.
I'm pretty sure you can.
And that's your question.
I'm pretty sure you can put anyone's details in there and just your credit card.
You know, I think that'll be fine.
That's great.
You should find people that you know who specifically don't like the podcast.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
Sign them up.
who specifically don't like the podcast.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
Sign him up.
This comes to us from someone whose name maybe I'll read,
maybe I won't,
but they gave us 10 American dollars on the Pay the Boys donation account.
Oh, God.
It's good every time.
I'll never get sick of it.
No, it never gets old.
Hey, Tim and Guy,
I found your podcast this summer,
and my sister and I were quickly hooked.
We went on a road trip this summer and drove from Boston to Texas,
and we listened to you boys the whole time.
Thanks for the laughs.
I finally have caught up and wanted to send you guys something to say thanks for giving my sister and I something to listen to
so we didn't have to talk to each other.
Anyways, I have a question for you boys not
the intended purpose of the podcast by the way we'd love to bring families closer together this
is good though her question is what's something you appreciate about appreciate about each other
and something you don't like about each other live every moment love every day kate washburn
say my name shout out to my sister laura say her name too what's up uh Laura and Kate
Washburn uh the what the Washburn I clan of Baltimore Maryland one thing I really like about
Tim is his smarts both street and otherwise uh the man is I wouldn't necessarily want to go into a physical battle with him,
but any sort of intellectual battle,
any battle that required us to put...
Like, any sort of problem-solving situation,
I'd want Tim by my side.
He's very sweet.
Something I don't like about Tim is...
When he doesn't eat enough food,
he gets so unreasonably grumpy.
I'm like, dude, it's on you to fucking figure out when to put food in your body.
Stop making this my problem as well.
And I was going to do a gag one, but that's true.
That is true.
And it's funny, but it's also very true.
Exceptionally true.
One thing I like about Guy is
I feel like we're on the first day
of a university tutorial
or a date
sort of
it's a weird date thing
it'd be like if this is like blind date
a TV show or something
it's like speed dating where you have to do
anyway sorry
I think I've seen you once in a perceivably bad mood ever coming into a
situation when was that i can't remember but i just assume that summer in the last three years
it's happened which is great it's such a wonderful quality to have in someone that it's like no matter
when you expect them turning up or what the context is you know they're going to be bringing
a little ray of sunshine into the room.
It's a great thing.
And one thing that I don't appreciate about Guy Montgomery...
Hmm.
Would be...
Hmm.
I don't know.
He's a real...
Piece of shit.
No, you did a real one, so I feel I have to too.
There's just too much of him.
He's all limbs everywhere.
You don't like my body?
No, now it feels like I'm body shaming you.
That's fine.
I can take it.
Okay, here's one.
Different side of the same coin.
I like how Dr. Phil this is getting.
Would be...
Oh, coming in, cracking the jokes,
and I'm trying to do something very difficult,
and I'll be sweating.
Sweat will be pouring off me.
I'll be plugging cables into different ports,
and you'll be like,
say something quite funny.
Can't even bring one up
because I haven't eaten recently.
No, it's cool.
I get it.
I, yeah.
Again,
the enthusiasm giveth
and the enthusiasm also taketh away.
It's a sharp sword
in the saw cuts both ways.
Yeah, it is.
It's a very sharp sword.
Hey,
thank you to the Washburns
for giving us that quite enjoyable psychological exercise.
Did you enjoy that, Tim?
Nope.
Here's another person who sent us some money, and let's see if they want their name said.
Say my name, say my name.
If no one is around you, say, baby, I love you.
If you ain't running the game.
I'm right next to you, Tim.
You cannot say this person's name.
Oh, really?
Yeah. Shit. You can... No. No, you ain't running game i'm right next to you tim you cannot say this person's name oh really yeah shit you can no no you can't okay done you can't say you love him actually maybe you can say that well i feel like i love anyone who's given me money but more importantly someone who's joined
on the friend zone. Yes. Charles. Moral.
Love you.
Love you.
Charlie, thank you for your $10.
And I hope you don't mind being called Charlie.
And I love you.
Wonderful.
See, was that so hard to say?
No. Why don't we say it more often?
Why don't we say it all the time?
I love Charlie.
I guess the reason we don't say it to everyone all the time
is otherwise it would lose value.
Yeah, I take it back.
I love you, Charlie.
Sorry about Tim's flip-flop on that.
He's going to be a real piece of work.
Hey, this one comes from a person,
and it reads as follows.
I'll read it from the top.
There's a lot of correspondence, but it's good stuff.
Think I'm starting to feel a tiny smidgen of your pain
because the break room at work has been...
Just slow it down a little bit, guy.
I'll tell you what, that is something you don't like about me.
It's the pace at which I read letters in the friend zone.
We can sub that in.
Think I'm starting to feel a tiny...
I should have done the passive-aggressive thing.
I'm glad you didn't. Okay, think I'm starting to feel a tiny... I should have done the passive-aggressive thing. I'm glad you didn't.
Okay.
Think I'm starting to feel a tiny smidgen of your pain
because the break from work has been looping 50 first dates
every single day for eight weeks now
and I never want to see you stand on space again.
Oh, that's fine.
And then you wrote back saying,
are you okay?
Which is very nice of you.
And they've written,
hanging in there.
Thanks.
Finding a new appreciation for the low
points you guys hit back in season one i honestly don't know how you did it for a whole year
sandler's presence has a way of making every scene seem 10 times longer than it actually is
not to mention the clock in the break room is never right and runs haphazardly so time
loses all meaning i think i found a coping mechanism though on my last grocery trip and what they have found is
a half gallon hip flask
which is literally twice the size of their hand
which they put in the photo for scale
anyway just wanted to say that
the worst idea of all time podcast
is almost always the heart of my week
we need to work harder on that
but my friends get annoyed with me
because I tend to pick up a slight kiwi accent
for a few hours after listening
really freaked out
my boss the first
time that happened
at work
so there's now
a 46 year old
wannabe soccer
mum of three
who does not
believe you exist
because describing
the project out loud
sounds so crazy
that nobody believes it
her loss
looking forward to
revisiting Prawns
out another season
one classics
on the 14 hour
drive I'm about
to embark on
hopefully I don't
almost go into a
ditch this time
the scene notes
from the script read still reduce me to laughter based tears on a regular basis and remains the
one episode i cannot allow myself to listen to in the car it's such high praise think about saving
it for lunch at the new blaze pizza that's open in disney world and seeing whether hashtag art
is anal ingredients taste good while you're choking on laughter i'm so glad i stumbled
across such a weird fucking project and i hope to buy a t-shirt or something after I next get paid,
but I blew all my money on Christmas,
so I'll have to wait until I stop making bad financial decisions.
Peace sign.
A huge shout out to someone called Meg.
Meg, I'm going to gloss over all the really lovely things you said
because I feel like there's been enough earnestness
in this episode of The Friend Zone already.
But I will say this having
a hip flask that is twice the size of a human hand has really tickled me that is a funny concept
because the whole point of a hip flask is so you can conceal your alcohol where are you going to
conceal a hip flask that large i and i i would usually be like oh well maybe you're just like
a really large person and it's relative in size,
but you've attached a photo of your tiny hand.
Can I see that photo?
Can you flip that around?
Let's see Meg's little hand and beak.
That is a huge hip flask.
That thing is massive.
They've called it a super flask.
They have.
Hey, good stuff out there, Meg.
And I hope you enjoy
that road trip and it actually makes me think that on one of our trips guy as we head towards the
end of this journey we should we should listen to the episodes together oh wow there's a lot
of content out there but imagine if we did that on a plane ride or something look tim i appreciate
that you're coming up with ideas and you're putting them out there but i don't appreciate the particular tone of this one very well i spend enough time with both of us
as it is yeah that's true that is true yeah that's true uh someone writes hello i don't know that
we're fuck it i'm gonna throw this one out there Amy McLaughlin
I hope you want your name read
Because I
We're getting too good
At being careful now
Yeah
It's put me on edge
Hello gentlemen
That last one was read
By Megan Janiski
Yeah fuck you
Megan
There you go
I'm a
Now we've gone too
The pendulum's swung too far
The other way
I'm a big privacy advocate
I really believe
That people should be able To choose their own rights of exposure.
But the contrarian in me has really butted heads against that.
Yeah.
Well, meanwhile, I'm over here researching photos of both of these people's families.
So you've really opened a can of worms.
Not good.
Hey, Amy, you wrote to us and said,
Hello, gentlemen.
I donated via PayPal, but I have little trust in the PayPal messaging system,
so I wanted to relay my message the old-fashioned way.
So here it is.
My name is Amy Mack.
You may use it if you wish, or you can ignore it and move on.
Deal is choice.
I am donating firstly because it seems really selfish to get so much enjoyment for free,
and secondly because I was listening in the car with my
three-year-old daughter and she heard you say he's a legend at one point and she picked it up
and you've and if you've never heard an american toddler say the word legend with a horrible kiwi
accent well your lives are not complete i'd record it for you but she does nothing on command
she has not yet learned the i'm not your fucking trained monkey mom.
She has not yet learned that.
But you can see it in her eyes
that that's what she means.
Anyway, I just adopted her less than a year ago
and the novelty hasn't worn off yet.
So I'm probably a little biased,
but pretty much everything she does is adorable.
Just going to pause in the reading there.
Probably not how adoption works.
It shouldn't wear off.
You're in charge of a human now, a little infant.
Oh, yeah.
That'll stay with you.
Yeah.
You're all good, Amy, man.
Do you understand the long-term consequences of the decision you've made?
You are responsible for the livelihood and well-being of a whole other person.
But I get the sense that Amy knows this, but
she thought after like six months
she'd be doing it super begrudgingly.
So, okay, six months of cuteness,
six months of enjoying this adorable little
human, and then it's all uphill. But it will be
worth it. Yeah. Six months of cuteness.
That's great.
I'm not sure I can include an
image, but here's a link that
may or may not work because you should see her cute fucking face.
Can you believe this kid was in foster care and now she's mine?
I love this.
Anywho, I've been to the podcast over the last few months and I'm a mere eight episodes away from being caught up.
P.S. Season 1, episode 25 or 15, can't remember, is actually season 2.
So it's super confusing. confusing fuck that's good to
know i didn't know that uh i like it curveballs you have rose on and you guys are talking about
sex in the city too and it is right in the middle of grown-ups too and i'm not sure you've rectified
that or if anyone has told you so heads up be good boys you're Ledge Guions.
I think she's phonetically tried to spell out how the the tot has pronounced it.
But I'm having trouble with that.
That was a heartwarming message.
Oh my god.
I've just seen a photo of this kid.
She is adorable.
Look at that little cutie.
Whoa.
That is a cute kid.
I'm pretty confident
that's the photo that comes in photo frames
When you buy them from the store
Hard out
Thanks for getting in touch Amy
You're a legend
And we're all legends now
Would you like to grab a message there guy
Yeah
This one's pretty funny
I open the door by the way if any sound comes through
Because your correspondence With this person This one's pretty funny. I open the door, by the way, if any sound comes through. Because, boy, howdy. Yeah, yeah.
Because your correspondence with this person,
the last message that they send is,
Hey, Tim and I,
which I like.
I was listening to the most recent friend zone
where you started to read my message,
stop about three sentences in,
thought you'd already read it,
but in reality, you had read it But in reality Had not
But I'm so confident
That we did
It gave me a chuckle
Keep up the good work boys
Even if you can't remember
If you'd read my message or not
Anyway
You are now going to read
The original message
In its entirety
If you are
Rickrolling us
And we have already
Read it in its entirety
Well played
You deserve it
All the more
Boys
Send 20 American dollars
To your paper
But in case you don't get
The message in its entirety
Slow it down, guys.
That was the preamble.
Oh, okay.
Now we're in the meat and potatoes, okay?
All right.
And if you know anything about my body, you know meat and potatoes slow me down.
Heavy meal.
It's probably all that gravy, that rich gravy I insist on having.
Oh, but isn't it worth it?
I don't eat gravy unless it is like viscous to the point that I can't put a finger in it.
Really?
So you don't actually like liquid, you know, that fully liquid gravy?
I don't even like gravy.
I just like different textures.
Anyway, Tim and Guy, 2016 has been a real mixed bag.
What kind of potatoes do you have with your meat and potatoes?
Are they roasted?
Because in my head they're mashed, eh?
Raw.
Raw potatoes.
I had to deal with constant family dinners every week,
spent discussing the US election,
was laid off from my job of six years,
a telecom call centre manager, but really enjoyed it,
started working for a regional chain of car lots
to make some money while looking for a new career,
and found out the manager is a registered sex offender
for producing child pornography.
Still very uneasy about that.
Whoa.
Yeah, fair enough.
Just some real bad stuff going on in 2016.
On the plus side, I do have my first child due on December 23rd with my wife of 11 years.
So that helps balance the scales a bit.
You guys have been there when I've been through some rough times
and have helped keep the scales from going way overboard.
So here is 20 American dollars. I've been through some rough times and have helped keep the scales from going way overboard. So here is 20 American dollars.
I've been listening for nearly a year now, started shortly after the death blight at
one.
So 20 bucks is hardly fair for your hours of entertainment.
Hope someday you can make a cost neutral to positive journey to the American midwest sometime
so I could meet you boys in person.
P.S.
My wife finds your Kiwi accent annoying but I love him.
Also if this gets you on the friend
zone you're good to say my name if you haven't already neil lewis um sorry that you've had a
rough year very very happy that we could do anything to make it more palatable um super
uneasy about your new boss as well you got to find a new job no he's gone i think that's the
whole thing if he got found out that that guy's surely he's got to be put away well that's the
sense i got from reading it that it's like yeah anyway let me get bogged down in the in the mire
of that yeah what i will say is this yes uh i i very much look forward to you and your wife
celebrating the birth of your first child and and to those of you who haven't yet
check out season 2 of Death Blast
Season 2
that's a funny way to put it
Releasantly
Have you heard that word?
That's a fucking cracking portmanteau
That is excellent
You just did that now, huh?
Straight off the dome
It's come out releasantly
How do you use it? What's its application? straight off the dome by mistake it's come out recently it's been releasing
how do you
use it
what's it's
application
yeah
it's like
we put it up
recently
it is
it's
it got put up
recently
it's pretty much
the only application
is that thing out yet
recently
that's it
that feels to me
like the only possible
way you could use it
the difficulty is
you're going to have
to explain that to him.
Anyway.
Good stuff.
Here's someone
who's given us
a little bit of chicha,
a little bit of cheddar,
a little bit of cheese,
a little bit of coin,
a little bit of a couple dollars.
By the way,
we really appreciate it
but stop sending cheese
to Tim's home address
because by the time
it arrives here
it is not in a good way.
Well,
this is the beautiful thing
about cheese. It ages well. Across the the board across the cheese board through winter we were
getting away with it but um the summer months it's been super rough on your letterbox i know that and
also the the rat infestation you've had look the rats aren't good what tickles me most though is
we've got a lot of interesting birds here, and the birds love cheese in New Zealand.
There's no getting around that.
Shouldn't let them eat that.
That's going to make them super sick.
We're actually very close to a reserve, like a wildlife reserve,
where there's a lot of interesting birds,
and they all come here because they all know that Tim Batts got the goods.
I was reading about that in the newspaper this morning.
He's got the cheese.
There's a lot of sick birds out there, man.
You guys are causing a lot of problems.
I know, but they don't die. They're looking super hard to find out where they're getting all the cheese. There's a lot of sick birds out there, man. You guys are causing a lot of problems. I know, but they don't die.
They're looking super hard to find out where they're getting all the cheese from.
The point is, they come round to my house and I get to look at them.
And that's all there is to it.
The money's come.
The message says,
Thus, with love from Toronto, Canada,
your hours of suffering have brought me hours of entertainment
All the best, you two
And that is from Mallory
A name you don't hear a lot of these days
And in fact, only really hear it on Archer
So why don't you come on over, Mallory
Oh shit, do you know what?
What?
Toronto's reminded me
I think I even Plugged this gig recently
But if you are in Toronto
Because I know we've got
A few listeners there
A very
Very funny friend of mine
Called
Jordan Foise
Is doing
He's a stand up comedian
He's doing an album taping there
And he's doing
One on December 6th
How the fuck
Are you supposed to spell that?
Foise
F-O-I-S-Y
And one on December 9th And and they're both happening at comedy bar
but if you look up jordan foisy album taping on facebook you'll find the event and everything
you need will be there but if you can get along he's the fucking business uh and i think you have You can find him on Twitter at Jordan Foisy. F-O-I-S-Y.
Nice and easy.
Here's some people who have flicked us money without a message.
So I don't know what to do with that.
So I would say, Andrew Lowiser, I hope you don't mind your name being read aloud
because you are the man for giving us tons of cash.
Cold hard cash here on the friend zone.
You're back with Guy and the Coyote on the friend zone.
You're the coyote?
Yeah.
And I'm Guy.
Okay, cool.
You didn't get a fun name.
I can do that.
I'll play that character.
Who do you want to be?
I want to be Guy.
You want to be Guy?
I spend so much time being different characters.
Sorry, I cannot make out the words you're saying unless you phrase it in radio voice.
Coyote, you know, I spend so much time in different characters being different people.
Sometimes I question, who am I really?
And I look in the mirror in my house in the morning and I just see cold dead eyes.
So if you could call me Guy and stop making me do this voice, that'd be much appreciated.
That sounds fucking dark.
Woof, woof, woof, woof.
Coyote.
And Guy.
$50 has come through from a dude named Brendan.
Sup, Brendan.
So much to love there.
I've only given you two details and both of them I'm in love with.
I'm huge into them as well.
The message reads,
Ever so briefly, keep your chin-ups, boys.
Brenton Robinson.
Hey, I appreciate that.
I feel like we're in good spirits today,
but when we're not, I will reflect on that and remember it fondly.
Absolutely.
My computer died.
Oh, did it?
We were just talking mean you could you could
hear it trying to hey andrew oh andrew sent through um a message that we read last time so
now we're good he was talking about that we probably weren't old enough to remember the
80s wwf references but in actual fact we are and we just didn't watch WWF. Yeah. Good on you, Andrew.
Age is, with regards to digging up archival stuff,
I guess it's unlikely, it's less likely people get into stuff so intensely,
but, I mean, the option is there for people to get into all things from all eras now.
As long as we've had recording devices, either video, audio, or written,
people can just find what they like and dig into it.
The idea of someone finding this 100 years from now is very odd to me.
I am not betting a lot of money that this will float to the top of anyone's interest.
No, you and I are going to have to do something big separate from this.
No, I think we need to end this episode on something huge.
A real bombshell.
Have you got anything?
I've got nothing.
But I feel very confident that within the next 25 seconds,
we can think of just the thing.
So...
Huge news.
I'm thinking...
A prediction.
Okay.
If we throw something out there and it comes true quite
quickly i think that'll be huge for us and i think we'll get quoted in newspapers and that will
lead to us being known about in 100 years so my prediction is within the next
25 days of this podcast coming out that's like less than four weeks we are unfortunately
going to be saying goodbye to beloved legend
um
freddie mercury wait a second and i know a lot of you aren't going to be happy to hear that
And it doesn't bring us any joy to forecast that
But
The show must go on
Recently coming to some information
That there's a pretty high chance
That in the next 25 days
From time of release
Neither of us know when that's going to be
It was an accident on a bicycle
Freddie Mercury is going to
Is no longer going to be with us.
But to be fair, he died doing what he loved.
Fat bottom girls.
I'm pretty sure that wasn't really his scene.
You're right.
You're right.
He was...
No, I'm not going to keep...
I think the less we talk about Freddie Mercury, the better.
It's already in bad taste for us to predict his untimely demise yeah made a lot of good songs though a lot of good music
if you dig deep on queen made a lot of other decisions not all good but
uh you know i mean you can't argue with a track like Don't Stop Me Now.
You can't.
You can't reckon with its musicality.
That'll be us for another Friend Zone.
Yeah, man.
Thank you for joining us.
You got anything to plug?
Fuck no.
Oh, I put my tickets on sale for my Melbourne show because I thought it would be real funny to start selling tickets for a show
that's not for like three months.
But it's more of a goof.
You're an ambitious dude.
I like it
if you haven't already
check out the Patreon
we've got all sorts
of great rewards
and we are going to be
cranking out the first
set of
set of content
yeah set of
we're making content
out there people
as it stands
we have a tier
at $35 a month
called the Millionaire's Club
yeah
which is an exclusive
entirely separate podcast
from anything we've done before.
We're currently making that for, I believe, four people.
Yes, that was the absolute intention of that tier,
that I'd want as few people in there as possible
to not really justify the amount of work it's going to take to do it.
I don't even know what it's going to be.
I do.
Do you?
I'm glad one of us has a plan for it.
And I won't reveal it to you plebeians.
Anyway.
You haven't paid for the four.
Thank you so much.
Love to you all.
Oh, my God, you look fabulous.
Hey, you actually do.
You, whoever you are listening right now, you do look fabulous.
Even in those ridiculous underpants.
Oh, come on.
No, look, something has to be said.
You've got to throw those out and get a new pair.
Come on, man.
You look fabulous.
You look fabulous.
And I want you to walk around today with a lot of confidence,
knowing that Timbo and Guy Guy have got your back.
We have got your back out there.
When you're going into a high-powered meeting,
or maybe you're just trying to get through the day
at a fast food restaurant like I was on a Friday night
and you've been put on drive-thru
and you're not fully aware of how the communication equipment works
and the machines and the counter register thing,
but there's so many people coming through whatever
the situation is you're about to face tempo and gaga have got your back because we're your friends
yeah that's true and to people who get pissed off when there's a line in the drive-thru for
mcdonald's get your fucking shit together you're driving a car like past a building and they're giving you food some shit
is so awesome occasionally it's bound to take time you ungrateful fucking pig we're even talking a
lot of time like maximum six minutes and you people are losing your fucking minds and can we
just calm down honking honking's only make everything worse. It's harder to hear.
The person who's working the counter isn't specifically trying to ruin your day.
They're just trying to get through their shift.
Show some goddamn respect and empathy.
We live in a society where you can buy a fucking hamburger for $2.
Come on. The trade-off is there.
Sometimes it'll take longer than 35 seconds all right everyone normalizes everything so fucking quickly now in conclusion you look
great be confident we've got your back but please don't step out of line with service
yeah great great stuff see you soon you going to play that dastardly intro again?
Intro, intro, intro, intro.
This movie's still fine.
He's a colby bastard.
One of them dies and that guy's screw.
One of them's a hot, his name is Jack.
One of them looks like Johnny Depp
and his name is Johnny Depp.
Classic Maximum Joseph.
You forget that films are supposed to have a point.
Thanks for listening to this podcast.
If you're thirsty for another, why not try...
It really shows what the sort of whimsical schooling
of a place like Harry Potter actually does to you.
Like, you spend so much of your school life
battling, you know, overgrown plants
and fishing, like, fairies out of the lake
that you actually don't learn how to adjust
to being an adult.
So you turn into, like, this weird sort of...
Everyone's very socially awkward.
No one has had a talk to people.
There's clear sexual chemistry between multiple characters
and they all have no idea what to do with it.
Penis?
What is that?
Some sort of Groot snoot?
Some sort of squally waddley?
A penis is definitely some sort of Groot's note.