The Worst Idea Of All Time - Friendzone Thirty One
Episode Date: December 22, 2016An extended plug for Guy's new side-poddy HOSTING preceeds a lovely sit down with a beer as the Worst podcasters of all time pour through lovely messages, donations and letters from the best listener...s of all time. In the zone this week, we've got teachers, Norbit haters and THEN IT ALL GOES MR MONTGOMERY! A phone call from Guy's dad, live in the Friendzone record takes over and is now yours to enjoy. So enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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This is a Little Empire podcast. Visit us at littleempirepodcast.com and on Twitter at LittleEmpirePod.
Well it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy. Come to the friend zone, and have a good time.
Yes it's the friend zone, with Tim and Guy. Cause making friends is the best idea of all time.
Hello and welcome to the friend zone, with Tim and Guy. You've completely cut my headphones out, Guy.
That's what you've done there by jangling around with the little audio box you got on you.
You're welcome.
I'm back. I'm here.
You good?
Are you there?
I'm here.
We're all here. Are you here?
Yes.
No, no. That's for the person listening to this podcast.
And I was answering on their behalf because they cannot respond.
Yes, they are obviously here.
Very good.
And I was answering on their behalf because they cannot respond.
Yes, they are obviously here.
Very good.
You can tell by our chipper intonation and excited tones that we have not watched the movie yet. A guy has just arrived at my casa for us to settle into another gorgeous watch of We Are Your Friends.
I tell you what, and we had a truly joyous 10-minute preamble in your kitchen in the company of the lovely Zoe,
who'd roasted some vegetables.
Yes.
Of which I ate some.
Yeah, and the verdict?
Very, very tasty.
Lady knows how to roast.
She was trying a new technique with the potatoes this evening.
Yeah?
Where you drain them and then you whack them around in the pot a little bit
to drain the rest of the water out before you roast them.
So they crisp up real nice and proper.
You know, saying this out loud, a little bit to drain the rest of the water out before you roast them. So they crisp up real nice and proper.
You know, saying this out loud, it makes me feel like we don't have enough problems really going on at our house, our shared dwelling.
You've got a room that is specifically designated for our heartbroken friends.
Well, that's true.
We've got a spare bedroom that we just put in sad little lonely puppies.
And also, I've noticed you and Zoe have started sabotaging People's relationships
So that they'll come and spend a few nights
Which seems pretty reckless to me
Yeah well you've got to make friends somehow
That's what the friend zone is all about
Yeah but I mean in terms of problems
While that's not necessarily a problem for you
I would describe it as problematic
From the outside
You should know because you are someone in my sphere of influence
Who really really has a lot to lose Out of this little game that Zoe and I are playing.
Things are going great over at Castle Montgomery.
Glad to hear it.
Yeah.
Speaking of Castle Montgomery,
allow me to take this opportunity to shout out your new show on your own behalf.
Hey, I appreciate it.
Please continue if you like.
Fresh out of the little Empire Gates,
Guy Montgomery, who you might know from the worst idea of all time
Has teamed up with
Fantastically talented comedian
And Australian improviser
Carlo Ricci
And you were lucky enough to have him staying at your house
You were generous enough to host him
Yeah
And you've made a potty about it
Yeah he came over for a week
We were friendly.
Do you want to know the actual backstory to my relationship with Carlo?
Look, I would love to, because I've seen Carlo perform on the stage a couple times
during the Melbourne International Comedy Fest, where his show sells out.
The Bear Pack.
It's a two-man long-form improv show.
God, they're good.
He does it with Steen Raskopoulos.
Fuck. Fuck.
Yeah.
So much like you,
I saw them doing a beer pack show
and I was very taken with Carlo
for how funny and just at ease he seemed.
And I said to myself as I watched the show,
this is before I'd met him,
I said,
I will befriend that man.
That's so cute.
And then by virtue of sort of uh comedy
festivals they're they're a long haul and there's a lot of run-ins with different comedians an
opportunity to make friends she's a marathon not a sprint that's right what we often say and I met
Carlo I played it cool I said a great show and then a few nights later just by coincidence Carlo
saw my uh show I was doing a split bill with friend of the podcast Rose Menefeo yes of Boners
of the Heart fame also a Little Empire product see what you're doing a split bill with friend of the podcast, Rose Menefeo. Yes, of Boners of the Heart fame.
That's right.
Also a Little Empire product.
I see what you're doing.
You're putting a lot of horses in the stable.
Absolutely.
And then we sort of struck up not a full-blown friendship,
but certainly a familiarity, and we were on good terms.
Cordial?
Yeah, very cordial.
And then it's sort of only through limited exposure
through me being in Melbourne during the festival or catching him in Sydney.
We'd hang out.
We'd grab odds and ends, bits and bobs.
And then I was like, let's push this thing to the next level.
Let's do it.
Carlo, come over to New Zealand.
Stay at my place a week.
And we'll see what happens.
We'll see where the friendship goes.
And we were lucky enough or smart enough to record the experience in podcast form.
So over the seven days he was here, we recorded a little conversation about it each day.
And thanks to the audio wizardry of you, Tim, they'll be available for consumption starting right now.
As we're talking, it's out.
That's for hosting.
If ever you want to see a show that's on the network, you you just go to little empire podcast.com as i've mentioned
before someone else's little empire podcasts because i originally misspelt the url i bought
but look we're getting tied down that's pretty specific that's a fan of the worst idea of all
time no no no because i think there's people who roam around the internet buying those urls up they
sniff someone wanting to get one and then they buy buy it up. Hey, but, yeah.
We won't dwell on it.
Hosting is the name of the show.
Yeah, please give it a listen and tell me what you think.
What would be funny, actually, is if everyone rated and reviewed it.
Because I'll tell you what, if there is one way to game iTunes system of charts,
it would be so funny if only like 100 people listened to it,
but every one of them gave it a review and you shot to the top of the charts.
I would love that.
Do it.
I would genuinely love it.
Do it, everyone.
Hey, I've got something which is roughly the length of the Bible here on my phone.
Let's dive in.
Okay.
Let me grab my glass of beer.
This one comes from Jean Ward, who opens the message by saying, feel free to read my name on the show.
Thank God.
Hey there, Tiggles and Geiger Counter. Yes, please. Tiggles I haven't had. Thank God.
Yes, please.
Tickles I haven't had.
Tickles or tickles?
Tickles.
Yeah, that's even better.
Now, you need not apologise.
Yeah, he's fine.
He's just gotten bored of the role because he's been in charge for too long. He's literally just like, I'm out.
Yeah.
He might be going to go run the IMF, so he's all right.
I don't think so, though.
Anyway, I am a teacher in the magical land of Texas
and am, in fact, messaging you during class.
Yes.
Gene, get it together.
Gen?
Not Gene. Gene. Gene, sorry it together. Gen? Not gene.
Gene.
Gene, sorry.
G-E-N-E.
Not to worry though, we're watching a movie today.
Yes, one of those days.
That's in fact why I'm sending this little message to you boys.
For most kids, the days when the teacher puts on a movie
are probably some of the most fun days.
Yes.
For a teacher teacher the experience is
a bit different we get to watch the same movie six class periods split up over two to three days
i have watched the tv miniseries of anne frank with ben kingsley sad but by the end i could see
all the actors hitting their marks ending as a real gut wrencher selena with jlo in parenthesis
and all caps quite maudlin the good dinosaur Dinosaur, open parenthesis, quite impressive and tear-jerking on multiple viewings.
SpongeBob, sponge out of water, much better than the first movie.
Still laugh at some of the jokes.
Sophie's Skull, The Final Days, German movie about the World War II student activist Sophie's Skull.
Extremely heavy movie.
Ending tore my heart out every time.
Matilda, Currently watching it
With my classes
Much better
And far darker
Than I remember it being
As a seven year old
Yeah it is
Seeing the principal
Throw kids over fences
And hold kids for five hours
After school
Gives me great joy
And is that thing
That she locks them
The chokie
That's the chokie
And her name is Trunchbull
Yeah
Yeah
Fucking really dark
I was lucky enough
To catch Matilda
The stage show yeah the stage
show in london how was it it was tremendous i think i even told you the the young girl who
played matilda uh she brought a tear to my eye at the very end after they took their curtain call
she hadn't smiled the whole production and then this adorable little girl broke out in the widest
smile i've ever seen like during the curtain call it call. I think it was like her first week of performing the show,
and I just exploded.
I was just, anyway.
Heartwarming.
Yeah.
He's just a big softie, that guy, Montgomery.
No, he's a tough cry.
He presents himself as a real hardened, tough dude, but he isn't.
Yeah, I'm all right.
Okay, so it gives me great joy.
As a child, I would have found the thought realistic and terrifying and terrifying as a teacher i can see it as hilarious cartoon antics
it's kind of a catharsis to it i tried to watch beethoven but gave up far far worse film than i
remember it being as a kiddo charles groden's dad character hated dogs so much it made me hate the
character and almost everything barring the cute doggies. It was predictable and lame.
Conclusion.
Watching the movies in chunks six times with the kiddos doesn't usually make for a miserable experience.
I think having a different audience each period
helps keep things interesting.
Apologies for the long walk of text minus donations.
We'll try to donate to your Patreon soon.
And if you boys are in San Antonio or Austin,
I'll try to make the drive over.
Jane?
Sorry, I don't want to interrupt the ending.
Is that about it?
There is an addendum.
P.S.
Suggestion for season four, which isn't happening,
Oscar-nominated film for best original song,
The Day I Fall in Love,
Beethoven's Second.
Love you, boys.
Which is a very interesting recommendation to throw out
after bad-mouthing the original.
Yeah, well, I think people have really latched on to the fact
that us watching bad movies is quite funny
for people to sit around and listen to us suffer through it.
So I can appreciate where Gene's coming from.
Can I also say, Gene, no need to donate.
You're a teacher.
You're doing God's work on Earth.
You're looking after those kids.
You're playing movies every period.
Well done to you.
You're donating time and energy to tomorrow's leaders.
Now, here's the other thing.
Beethoven, a dog movie that doesn't come to top of mind as much as it should
when we're thinking about dog movies.
Everyone always goes to Earbud because it's big and flashy
and it's got a lot of sports in it, a lot of moving pieces.
Yeah.
Beethoven, the true trailblazer.
I mean, you've got Milo and Otis,
but he was sharing the silver screen with a cat.
I don't remember any of these movies.
The only animal sort of movie like that I do remember is Cats vs. Dogs.
How old or not old is that?
I was the age of going to the cinema.
So presumably nine or ten, which would make it.
Wow, what is that?
It was a movie voiced over by quite an all-star cast Where cats battle dogs for domestic supremacy
In what way?
Like was it quite militant?
Or was it kind of psychological?
It was militant
But sort of comically so
But you know they'd organise their battalions
And sort of they were battling over houses
Was it sort of a fight to the death between the species?
I can't imagine it would be in a kids film
No I can't imagine it ending in death
But it was certainly
Yeah it was a, um, it was
a good time. Alrighty, everyone get out there, check out
Cats and Dogs. Gene, thanks for the message.
So good to hear from you in
the great state of Texas.
Ooh, yeah. Ah, look, I've got
an email here. Good on you. Dear GoldenGuy007
and TimeCrisis2.
Okay. Very good.
It's going to be tough to beat for this friend zone.
That is hot stuff. I actually feel like I balked it so early on.
I'm going to start from the top of that one again.
Dear GoldenGuy007 and Tim Crisis 2.
I was at my Uncle Vanya's house, not his real name, although his real name is also Russian,
and his TV was on in the background.
It was idly tuned to the USA channel airing the 2007
Eddie Murphy vehicle Norbit.
I readied myself to unleash a barrage
of witty
riff tracks style
zingers brackets.
These jokes aren't very funny Eddie.
They should call it Nor Shit.
Try calling. That is a bad gag.
Try making a good movie next time.
But imagine my surprise and consternation when old Uncle Vanya, actually 38, started evangelizing Norbert at me.
Calling it some of the funniest shit he'd ever seen.
Pointing at the screen in anticipatory glee as enormous female Norbert prepared to careen down that fateful water slide,
awash in reverence for all things holy and all things Norbert.
Helpless to do anything else, I sat there and mumbled noncommittedly.
While there was a little awkward,
while that was a little awkward, sorry,
the worst part is that I had to shelve my plans for the podcast,
where I would travel around the world and watch Norbit at 4.20am in every time zone.
Working title, Geosynchronous Norbit.
How embarrassing.
So, have you ever explained the podcast to someone who harboured a genuine love for Grown Ups 2, Sex and City 2, We Are Your Friends, or perhaps all three?
What was that like?
Statistically speaking, those must be someone's three favorite movies if you
meet that person what would you do what would you do to them regards nick you can only use my full
name but only if you pronounce it correctly decree no bail out you're bombed uh thank you nick and
to answer your question i'm sure sure, I can't remember specifics,
that we have met people who enjoy those movies
never before someone who rates them as their top three.
I met someone very recently
who was a big fan of Sex and the City 2,
and it was sort of a bit of a business context,
so I just politely stopped talking about the podcast.
What do you mean?
Oh, you met someone who you were working with.
Trying to get work off.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, yeah.
And I was sort of explaining the concept of the podcast.
Mentioned we did a year of Sex and the City 2.
She said, oh, I love that movie.
It's so much better than the first one.
I said, all right.
So listen, let's get into the deeps.
Let's not beat around the bush.
Yeah, I think when I do meet people,
especially if they have the context of the podcast,
I'm always
fast like i i don't uh judge them for it i think people are allowed to like whatever movies they
like but i'm just i'm really interested in talking to them about it and it's also i mean people who
like movies tend to remember the details with uh enjoyable clarity which means it's nice to be able
to engage with someone about the movie and they're coming from a perspective I haven't experienced before.
Different points of view, folks.
You don't need to shy away from that.
I say embrace it.
Burst your bubbles.
Engage with the other side of the spectrum.
Hot, hot stuff, Tim.
You want this?
You want this?
Give it.
You want this?
Give it to me.
Put it in my ears.
Hey, bros.
Your podcast makes walking to school in the freezing Canadian winter bearable.
My friends and I are planning to watch horror Halloween movies on New Year's Eve
because they spent their Halloween rehearsing for my school's production of Elf.
So I suggested watching Sex and the City 2.
None of my friends listened to the podcast, but we did watch Sex and the City 2.
Whoa, backstage.
Alright, my dad's calling. Shall I take it?
Ah, yeah, go right ahead.
Hey dad. stage. Alright, my dad's calling. Shall I take it? Ah, yeah, go right ahead. Hey, Dad.
Hello? Stephen!
Uh, I couldn't, I heard
g'day and then nothing.
I can hear you.
I was saying hello because that's what you say
when you answer the phone. This is not
going well.
I was saying hello because that's what you say when you answer the phone.
This is not going well.
Yeah, that's true actually.
So the hello that you're asking about was sort of, it was quizzical because I didn't know if you could hear me or I could hear you.
Look.
You can really see where he gets it from, can't you?
Yes.
No off switch on Guy's dad.
There really isn't.
I am doing a show down there.
He couldn't get any tickets, so he rang me and asked me what I could do.
And he says, you've only got stand up tickets
and there's only
10 of them
and you're not
willing to pre-sell
them
is that correct?
Yeah there's
10 tickets
available on the
door
that are for
standing room
only
and they're
10 bucks
each
and I'm
sure there's
some way
that I could
weight it
to favour
family
well if you could if you could secure stand up I could wait it to favour family?
Well, if you could secure stand-up tickets for Monsieur L'Amour and his three companions,
which would be his wife and wife, who else?
I don't know who else.
It might be Rick and Nina, even.
I don't know.
How intriguing.
What's that?
I mean, who knows who it could be?
Well, that's right.
The world is full of mysteries and surprises, isn't it?
Hey, Dad.
I'm with Tim Batt.
Do you want to say hi?
Hello, Batman.
Mr. Montgomery, how are you?
I'm very well, thank you, Tim.
I'm slightly disappointed that Polydex appears to have just whimpered
and limped its way to an
inglorious conclusion ah the other little empire podcast on the network look we're having just
jeb and i having discussions about that you'll be the first to know we're looking at bringing it
back you need to be the first to know and i'm not sure that you would even have any idea apart from
the fact that you're in my you're you're you appear on the list of my
podcasts um that um so i don't know whether you can tell from that that i'm following you or not
absolutely not if we if we got little updates on every person it would be so
he's laughing at a joke he thought of earlier, that's all. You need not pay too much attention to your son.
Hey, Dad, is the worst idea of all time on the list of your podcasts?
It is, but I do have 23 unplayed episodes.
Down the list.
How many episodes have you listened to?
I've listened to about four.
What do you reckon?
And then you've got the,
I think it's okay in patches.
I mean, I think the problem
with committing yourself
to doing a weekly thing
on a subject which is basically
boring the shit out of you really
is that you wind up
with the sort of,
you get the pearls in there,
but you're going through a bit of dross to get there.
So I think that there's just a difficulty in maintaining the standard
at the level that you would hope, or that I would hope.
Such a diplomatic attempt at saying there's a lot of bullshit on there.
You'd cut it down, need to go to edit.
And to be honest,
if I can say another thing,
that I would prefer
less direct language.
Now, how do you mean direct?
I'm not in a good position.
I don't have a strong,
you know,
in fact, I have no basis for this at all
because I've always sworn very badly in front of my son.
But I just think on a podcast with a universal audience,
you don't know who's going to listen to it.
You're not wrong.
I think New Zealanders and people who listen to podcasts
probably tend to tolerate worse language than the general public.
This is the tricky thing because what we've created is a unique experience
where we're trying as much as possible for it just to be Guy and I
ignoring the kind of context the rest of the world listening,
so it's really authentic.
Guy and me ignoring.
I beg your pardon?
Guy and me ignoring.
He's correcting your grammar.
No, I think it's Guy and I ignoring.
I am ignoring the world.
It's not me ignoring the world.
If I drop the other subject in the sentence, it doesn't make grammatical sense.
That's the test.
If you drop Guy in, you wouldn't say it was just Guy.
You would just...
I would say I, not me.
You would say it's me ignoring.
Would I?
Oh, no, I guess you're right.
Yep, no, touche, Mr. Montgomery.
I should never have doubted you for a second.
My point being, it's very hard to achieve that tone of an intimate relationship
while at the same time having to have in your head the whole time
that you've got to watch your regular language.
We're going for maximum authenticity.
I fully get that.
I do understand that.
But I think that there's a degree of, well, I wouldn't describe it as informality.
I'd describe it as just, like, sometimes I think, and I'm guilty of this myself,
but I notice it more when you listen to something like your podcast.
Yeah, Charlotte's just saying, poor Tim, he's probably not in the mood for you,
which I completely understand
but when you listen to a podcast
that
the swearing does hit you more
than it does
like if we were at a bar
having a drink then you wouldn't
even notice
this is becoming very difficult
as Charlotte is saying
shut the fuck up, Stephen.
Oh, the irony.
It's palpable.
Yeah, well, that's exactly it.
Well spotted, Tim.
Thank you.
You're getting assailed from all sides.
But anyway, that is something which I, as a listener to the podcast,
Like four ebbs.
I could just say stop swearing according to Alice.
She's not wrong.
She's got a good sense of word economy.
Very important in the medium.
Hello?
But I do think that you're, I mean, I love the discursive nature of it.
The fact that, you know, in theory, this is about a movie.
In practice, it's about whatever you guys feel like talking about.
Sometimes just things that are happening.
Occasionally it's sort of tangentially related to the movie,
and occasionally it's not.
Tell me about it.
And it just goes all over the place.
Well, that's quite good.
Oh, thank you.
But in that sense, I think that in some ways, I think you've sort of outgrown the movie as the base for it.
That is probably a fair criticism, Dad.
No, it wasn't a criticism, Gies. It was just an observation.
And it was an accurate one at that.
Okay.
Well,
funnily enough, we've actually got to get down to the business of recording the podcast.
Well,
this time I will listen
to it and I'll see how
the language comes out.
Okay. Very well.
Sorry?
Sounds good.
Okay. Hey, now, Giza, what am I going to say to tell my friend? Tell him to keep us there to the ground and I'll be in
touch someone just tell them that you spoke to me and it's all taken care of
almost yeah well that's great I'm delighted about that
but I'm not absolutely confident
that you're taking care of it
coincides exactly with his expectations
but anyway
we'll reconvene at another time
you've got to do the podcast
Tim good to talk to you
and you also
hope everything's well on the home front
look forward to seeing you
very good
take care bye Also, hope everything's well on the home front. I look forward to seeing you. Very good. Okay, thank you.
Take care.
Bye.
That's probably all we've got time for, more or less.
I did not see that coming.
Quite astute, though, his observations,
considering he's only listened to four eps.
Yeah, he doesn't mess around.
Now, here's the thing.
So this has just occurred for us in real time.
I assume now you'll message him or give him a bell
and see if he's all right with his voice going out to all in sundry.
What's your expectation?
Do you think that phone call will be kept in?
I'll be interested to know.
I guess we should safeguard ourselves
in case he'd like a bit more privacy out in the online world.
For the alternate realities where the phone call didn't play, we've just had quite an extended chat.
Sort of 10, 12, maybe 15 minutes with Montgomery Senior on the phone.
Yeah.
And he had a lot to say about the podcast.
And it was a good chat.
With very little prompting.
Just do you listen to it?
What do you think of it?
And then an extended opinion.
So I was in the middle of a message from Isabel Wilson,
which I will commence from the beginning.
Okay.
You don't have any commentary on your dad while we're here?
I like him.
Yeah, good guy.
It took me a long time
To realise he was funny
So I always thought
He was just real dry
Like boring
And then when I hit about 16, 17
I was like oh no
He's been joking the whole time
And what I like about it
Is he didn't let me in on that
That was just for him
Until you figure it out
And you're like okay
That is commitment to the bit
Now From Isabel Wilson in Canada.
Hello, bros.
Your podcast makes walking to school
in the freezing Canadian winter bearable.
My friends and I plan to watch horror Halloween movies
on New Year's Eve because they've spent their Halloween
rehearsing for my school's production of Elf.
So I suggested watching Sex and the City 2.
None of my friends listened to the podcast but we
did watch sex in the city 2 backstage during our show last year and judged it based on our trip to
morocco while i pointed out dick bop brady the rat king all hail and coffee guy good luck with
the rest of season three and thank you for introducing me to the hilarity that is alice
sneddon yes her story about the production of high school musicals she saw
never fails to make me laugh and makes me feel better about the hot mess
that was my school's version of it.
If this ever gets read out loud, you have my permission to use my real name,
Isabel Wilson.
I'd already done it because that is just something I do.
Thank you, Isabel.
Yeah, that's a lovely one.
I like that.
Here's another from Eric.
Hey, boys, here's 1% of my net worth
Love, Eric Peavy
It was $5, which means Eric
is worth $500
Pretty good stuff, Eric
Not bad at all
He's now down to $495
Here's a quickie
Timberlina and Guybrush Threpwood
Live show? When?
Brackets, Oz
Please, oh, also, I love you both
Keep on truckin'
Love every moojar, love every jar dad
Thank you
Oh, mumjar, sorry, love every mumjar
Oh wait, there's a PS
Very excited for a movie marathon to finish the podcast
This idea is grand
Yeah, Guy's not that into it, but I think
Oh look, I'll do it
Yeah
I'm brave
Hey boys, just had an interesting
thought listening to timbo's appreciation of page on his solo episode if page combined his business
ability with an idea from mr big's big book of ideas i think they would make an unstoppable team
combined they might really be the next creator of instagram whatever his name is captain sidestream
it explains how mr big made all of his money
without being able to understand the stock market or colors he's got his buddy page handling all of
his actual business just thought i'd share this revelation with the experts themselves
happy or not so happy watching no mention of whether or not you want your name to be read out
and so callan i shall resist i feel that it would be rude to leave Grown Ups 2 out in the cold
when we're tying two of the franchise universes together.
It feels like choosing two favorite kids when you've got three.
So who do you think Paige and Mr. Big would...
Who's got the most business now from Grown Ups 2?
Who would they be teaming up with?
Well, Lenny Fader just as
obviously he's made the most. That's
a good point. But I
think he's too much of a
like you can't have
three alphas and he's too
openly hostile towards
what's the word I'm looking for?
He's too openly hostile towards
adversity. Like when things go wrong he starts yelling. What's the comedian's name who's the word I'm looking for? He's too, how many Hostile Awards? Adversity. Like when things go wrong,
he starts yelling.
What's the comedian's name
who's the ice cream man?
Colin Quinn.
Colin Quinn's character,
I think,
would be the guy
because he's not afraid
of a bit of hard work
and he's got sass.
Yeah,
I thought that too.
Maybe even,
I was going to say Selma Hayek,
but her store does appear
to be flagging,
so big time.
Dear Spindlius, Timblius, Wimblius, and Guy, the Flash Cannon Montgomery,
I want to thank you lovely boys for coming all the way to Portland to do a show.
You may or may not remember me.
I complimented Guy's shirt and told Tim at the end of the show that I had driven down
almost from Canada to watch The Madness live.
My brother
and I wanted to stay and have a drink but we had a long drive ahead of us and had to put the road
safety ahead of a good time. Guy, I have some information that may be of interest to you. You
may not know this but Washington state has a bit of an unfortunate reputation when it comes to
bestiality. Here's a link to an article of a particularly famous case which happened about
a 20 minute drive from where I grew up.
I won't share details here, but I will say that it involves a man, a horse,
and something a little more extreme than heavy petting.
Thank you, boys, for the amazing show,
and I hope that you make it back to the Pacific Northwest in the future
so I can see your faces in person again.
Kisses, Callan.
P.S. You can say my name.
Thanks, Callan.
Do you remember Callan?
I've got to admit, like, it's not super crisp,
but I do have a recollection of a pair
that drove from, like, a stunning distance away.
And I'm sorry that it's not more ingrained in there,
but we had a little bit to drink that night.
We tied one on. I mean, we we had a little bit to drink that night. We tied one on.
I mean, we really had a knees up after that Portland show.
And a huge shout out.
I couldn't even tell you the name of the bar next to the Clinton Street Theatre,
but we had a really good time.
But that was that place we went in the little hole in the wall food place next to it
was like the best burger I've ever eaten in my goddamn life.
I think that is...
What was that, Sam?
Look, it all blares, doesn't it?
If you're not careful, it really does.
Hey, someone gave us $100, bro.
Well, you'd better acknowledge that.
Tim is his name, which is a great name,
and he's written the following message by email.
Hey, fellas, feel free to say my name.
Do it! Say my name, bitches!
Here it is. here's me saying it
Tim Milfoul
Now you say it
Tim Milfoul
I should have remembered while donating
That the friendzone regularly features dispatches from people who have donated
Without being able to make a comment, hence the email
Okay, admin done
Anyway, thanks bros for the many late nights listening to your drivel i
don't know yes it's the warts and all idea of it but geez i thought i wish i'd thought of it and
also that i had even a tenth of the patience and energy that has allowed to make it you uh allowed
you to make it through three seasons of these shite films i know i'll miss the worst idea of
all time in six months but i take heart in the immortal nature of Till Death Do Us
Blart and the pleasing thought
that a creative pair such as you will
always have an exciting new project around the corner.
All the best to you good guys. Tim
Milfill. You bloody
beauty. You're a champ, Tim
Milfill, and
cheers for shipping us 100
notes. That is intense, dude.
That is
10,000 cents.
I think.
I've done my math right.
All right, all right.
Look, we need to rip into this movie.
We want to get in there.
We'll do a little bit of housekeeping, though, right now.
Please.
Take care of a couple of things.
One thing I'd like to put across is to say thank you so much
to the people who have already jumped on our Patreon
campaign. We've cracked three digits
now. We've got a hundred people in there in total.
That's what you want. We've got a few people in that
Millionaires Club. We've got a lot of people who are
hanging on to listen and figure
out what movie we're going to watch for the
Deciders Club. So
we're going to rip right into that very
soon. In fact, by the time this comes
out, maybe we've already got a little things
dripping through there. So if you want to check out all the details all the
rewards we've got um if you're not familiar with patreon how it works you just give a little bit
of money on a monthly basis and we've got different tiered rewards for how much you give
you go to patreon p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com slash t-w-i-o-a- t that's right and the yeah the first batch of uh fresh content for those
patrons that will be going out before the end of 2016 oh yeah so if you want to get involved
don't miss out i'd say probably well before in some ways i would like to plug Tim Batts' Twitter. Okay.
Tim underscore Bat.
You got it.
He's a great guy. It's a real hot mess of different content.
To follow it, you would think he's a madman,
and perhaps he is,
but he's got hot takes, shit gags, great gags,
medium warmth takes, shit gags, great gags, medium warmth takes,
just a lot of different content.
Tim's got his finger in so many pies right now that if you want to taste all the different pies he's baking,
that's the place to find the recipes and the pies themselves.
And can I make a recommendation as well for the Twitter account of Westworld?
Just jump onto Twitter, search Westworld.
Fantastic new HBO series penned by the phenomenally talented brother of Christopher Nolan,
Jonathan Nolan, who's really just made this show, knocked it out of the park.
I can't get enough of this stuff.
I'm up to episode five.
I'm just binging the hell out of it.
Go and follow that.
So without further ado,
ladies and gents,
we'll leave you to it.
And it's off to watch the movie.
Bye bye.
See you.
Well, it's the friend zone.
Tim and Guy come to the friend zone.
And have a good time.
Yes, it's the friend zone.
Tim and Guy.
Cause making friends is the best idea of all time. Thanks for listening to this podcast.
If you're thirsty for another, why not try Boners of the Heart?
Maybe we should create a curated pornography website.
Are you just suggesting we upload Bridget jones's diary yeah yeah we could
just stream that