The Worst Idea Of All Time - Good Times: 20 (w/ Alice Snedden)

Episode Date: January 11, 2025

In an episode that may be held against the boys should they ever be implicated in murder most foul, Tim and Guy discuss who they’d come to as an accomplice in hiding a body. Pride of Aotearoa, Alice Snedden, calls in from overseas to remove herself from the list and talk about lesbian artists, giving Guy a chance to flex his sophistication and impeccable allyship. Also, there’s a lot of IBS talk.Get episodes early and in video on our Substack! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you're looking for flexible workouts, Peloton's got you covered. Summer runs or playoff season meditations, whatever your vibe, Peloton has thousands of classes built to push you. We know how life goes. New father, new routines, new locations. What matters is that you have something there to adapt with you, whether you need a challenge or rest. And Peloton has everything you need, whenever you need it.

Find your push. Find your power. Peloton has everything you need. Whenever you need it, find your push. Find your power. Peloton. Visit Peloton at OnePeloton.ca Top of the morning to you everybody and welcome to another edition of Good Times on the worst idea of all time podcast stream with Guy Montgomery and myself, Timothy Baird. It's still just good times. That's really what it is. That's what we've whittled our shared consciousness and our lives to. Yep. Nice hats. If you had to pick two words, good times.

Do you know where I got this? Stuart Island. Yeah. Black Yurra. It's a beautiful, I don't know if you got it that faded, but it's faded into a lovely shape. It was. It was like pre-faded, which it feels indicative of the place. Pre-faded. Yeah, that's like why you are bro Faded I feel like used to be a bit of a derogatory term and like the early 2000s for like you've done too many drugs and you've burned out like you're fine. Oh you thought faded but no What did you interpret faded to me like a burnout would be now faders faders always like moment specific Like getting faded is like

Of a night. It's not of a lifestyle. I What what would what would I say? Like you drunk too much you did too many whatevers now like you could get faded it would be positive It's got positive connotations fire like getting faded, you did too many whatevers. Nah, like you could get fated, it would be positive. It's got positive connotations. Like getting fated, you know. I suppose cause you're, you know. Well, I guess I don't. I guess when you say you know, I guess the answer is no.

Yeah, cause you're too damn fated, brother. No, I'm trying to think about what you would say for someone who is, had it more broadly, like what you're describing. I'm trying to think of the word I have in mind for someone who might have smoked too much pot when they were at school mmm fucked out the one for New Zealanders cunted another one for the for the Antibodians I didn't realize that you were gonna be so naughty what's another one I think burnouts are good.

Burned out. It's sort of like cross time and space. Cooked. You're fucking cooked, mate. Dead behind the eyes. Uh, dead behind the eyes is a little too specific for me. Anyhow, it's a pleasure to be with Tim and it's a pleasure for Tim to be with you. It's true.

I don't care for you, but Tim's pumped up your hair. Yeah. If I had it my way, it would just be... It'd just be me and the audience. That's right. Nah, if I had it my way, we'd all be siloed off, communicating via... Gun to your head, favourite worst idea episode, go. Okay.

The thing that comes to my mind is it's the last episode of season one. It's a live show. I'm feeling a little overawed and you're just out there cooking. And I'm looking at you, I'm looking at you like with a great fondness in my eyes. I'm looking at you and I'm thinking this guy, fucks. That's in a family episode is crazy.

Yeah. What about you? What's your answer? Keep going. It sounded like there was more to that memory. Well, no, not necessarily. I was trying to refer and then like I would say- Talk more about how you have admiration for me and you think I'm an awesome dude. The other favorite episode I have is season two. I'm overseas. You're in Auckland. Yes, my 27th birthday. It's your birthday and I am showing no mercy. I think the inside, you know, in the, I think in our last episode we were talking about how inside you there are two wolves inside you.

There are also two guys. And one of them is looking at you, gazing upon you with admiration. And the other one is seeing a vulnerable prone term and wanting to poke every single body part to find out which one makes him says the funniest prone. That is, that is delightful for me. part to find out which one makes him We did. To do that. Feels like early days. Is it season one? Season two maybe? It was actually, do you know what? George Lazenby showed up somewhere on social media for me recently. And I was remembering the experience of being in that really hot studio up the back of the place you guys used to have in Grey Lynn.

And like honestly, we've just watched some softcore pornography. Like I know if I lean forward from my chair, I will literally feel my back peeling itself off the fabric and I am Saying some of the most disgusting shit in a low guttural voice. Yeah as you really tapping into as a Former James Bond Listener in the world Right because because of, that's right. Because, because of course that's why I was trying to remember why he was the world's greatest listener because in Emmanuel, he just sits on the plane.

It would kick off with he and she in the plane and he would recount his adventures. Oh no, sorry. She would recount her adventures to him. And I don't know if we were alert to it at the time. I used to think, well, what a nice guy. What did you just listen to that guys? Obviously, he's a massive pervert Beautiful woman sitting next to him on the plane to tell him Filth yes indeed and to answer anyone's questions

We are aware that's a new Emmanuel in the works. I don't think it's not out yet or anything I it's still in production fantastic designer Thomas Cottle responsible for a lot of your favorite works. They do have all time imagery and the Spelling Bee logo is constantly hitting me with the Emanuel updates. I think we should take a moment to reflect on Thomas Cottle's contribution to the podcast because it is huge. Well you shouted him out recently as well because of the work he did on the Little Empire YouTube page. Here's what's happened. So for a long time in my to-do list, it's like get these episodes onto YouTube somehow, some goddamn how, and like through how far I got them on,

Tom messaged me and he was like, dog, you fucking destroy, you destroyed my YouTube account, it's just like 50 notifications all at once. You fucking idiot. It didn't say idiot. That's my paraphrasing. It's I was like, Oh no. So I unpublished all of them. And he's it.

And I was like, man, I don't have time to sort this out. And he just went in there because he's got the log in from like doing another favor for me ages ago and just sorted the whole thing out. The dude is an absolute. He's amazing. He seems absolutely pivotal to the podcast. Thomas thing out. The dude is an absolute. He's amazing. He sends me- Absolutely pivotal to the podcast Thomas Cottle. He ain't on payroll, he's doing it for love.

What is he, he's always up to something. He's been trying to get me to start- And this is to say nothing of the man's artistic gifts because it's the crazy thing. It's not like Thomas Cottle doesn't have nothing to do. He is one of the most sought after visual artists in New Zealand. Like, the cunt's be other shit to be doing.

Constantly trying to get me to start a beef with Rob Schneider. He's been trying to get me to start a beef with Drake. He often messages me saying, literally just saying, you should start a beef with Rob Schneider. He says, is this Tim Batt Rob Schneider beef real and I'm such back saying what and he said just trying to get a rumor off the ground Rob Schneider so good. Anyway, he's a great man and he's a great visual artist and today's word of the day Is brought to us by where of the day.com?

Random word generator.com. Ready, are you ready? I'm ready for our guest. I would say that when the word ready comes into my head, I think what's the next thing I need to get to? Am I physically able to achieve it? And the next thing that we're able to get to, hopefully God willing is our guest.

Can I slow down for one second and ask, what do you do in a situation when you are panicking? When you think maybe I can't get ready, maybe I can't do this to you alone. I can remember only one time in my life when I've genuinely panicked. And it was when I was making the male gaze. So here's what happened. I'll try and tell the story the shortest way I know how. The male gaze is a fantastic podcast Chris Parker and Eli Matthewson We started it in 2016. I should say them I produce it you pitched it to them

Didn't you said you guys should do a podcast. I can't remember. I don't know you said it and you wanted to put them in conversion therapy Yeah, that sounds like me Well, not quite but what about this? No, I think they saw that sounds like me. And then they said, well, not quite, but what about this? No, I think they saw, uh, Rose, Matt, and Alice, nearly than doing a podcast, bonus of the heart, which I also produced. And they said, we want a piece of that action. So they started a podcast and I, uh, wanted to get used to the

process of, of funding application. So I sent a funding application to New Zealand on here and it accidentally got like accepted. And I told them that we could make a web series. D Tiddies with presidency all over again. Six half hour episodes for 60 grand, which is impossible. Yeah. And we did it. But there was one moment at the end where I thought I had given all of the episodes to someone on only one hard drive, because I didn't have any fucking budget to have backup. So there was one place where all of the data existed, gave it to them and they sent me, they were saying, hey, we formatted the drive by accident.

And I just thought all of everything that we had done was gone. And here's how I responded. I got in the... because I was literally like well I don't have any... there's no backup like I'm like that's... I'm fucked. I've fucked it. That's it. It's done. And I just got in the shower and turned the cold water on and had a think. And it worked? Well I didn't come up with any solution but it calmed me down. That's so good. I respect that man. I feel like you don't let things get big on you. It's one of life's great challenges that sometimes

things get big on you. I actually I see an occasional psychologist, they don't do it professionally but occasionally they dabble in psychology. No I go to a psychologist occasionally and I was describing this the last session I had a full-time barista Psychotherapist yeah, and I was saying you know, this is what happens and I just get frozen. I feel like I'm in stasis And the basically the advice I got was you know When you pass through all of the personal detail and all of the all of our shared history as a client and patient Mm-hmm. She said well, you know What are you actually gonna do about it? That's what you got to ask yourself.

What are you actually going to do about it? You can sit there, but what do you actually, what are you actually going to do about it? And I thought that is incredible. I mean, that is, it's, and it stayed with me. It's been such valuable advice. It is a very funny thing to pay someone money per hour. Like if I did get that advice from a barista, yeah, of course I would not dismiss it out of hand but it would have no connection, it wouldn't have any value or utility. And that's what a psychotherapist really is, someone

charging you upwards of $150 an hour to give you advice you could obtain from a barista. That's right, you could have read on a tattoo arm of a barista. What's that one say? This too shall pass. Fuck. All right, let's get to our guest. That's right. So this is of course, I am out of the phone call. We're the day ready for our next segment. And this is someone I actually talk to on the phone semi frequently. Really? Whenever the opportunity arises. Do we know for sure if they're gonna answer? Never. This is the magic of the phone call Tim. Suspense. Man, I tell you.

Morena! Can I call you back in one minute? So classic. That is absolutely classic. If you say why, then you're allowed to call back in one minute. On the toilet. What are you doing? I'm just finishing up. Okay I've hung up on her presumably masturbating on the toilet we'll hear from her in... it's a safe assumption number three's as we call it. In about one minute it is of course Alice Sneddon of the

aforementioned Boners of the Heart currently in the United Kingdom as so many of our contemporaries have decided to do. Yeah when you get good enough to be the top of your game in New Zealand that's when you got to get the fuck out in New Zealand. It's spoken as two boys in New Zealand. It's true. But you know what the great thing about our life all of these people's phone numbers, we've got them. That's the thing drawing these friends of ours away, they attain a certain level of success and they go, I quite miss Mel Bracewell, I need to move to Australia. I quite miss Rose, I need to move to Australia.

No, no, no. No, no, no. Here's the thing, here's the thing you don't realize, Ray O'Leary. We could ring you on the phone. Oh. FaceTime audio. Does Siri tell you everything out loud? Or is it just us?

Hold on, Alice. You're coming through the phone instead of the road caster. I heard you though. The question you asked is are you gonna leave that or am I gonna cut that out? And my question to you is what do you think I just... So I just... nothing was going on. I needed a moment to rap about. And it didn't occur to you to do that without answering your phone?

Yeah, this is the thing. You're right. It didn't even occur to me, but that's the crazy thing. It was up to you to pick up. That was on you. That was your decision. Yes, because Guy said he was gonna call it. I didn't wanna be unprofessional. I fucking love it. Unprofessional. That is classic, Sneadon.

That is just... Can I say, I mean, it's confusing. Do you know, okay, if I... We're friends before we're colleagues. It's not unprofessional to pick up when you aren't finished wiping your holes. Can I say why this is so Alice-net-in? In my opinion?

Yes. Because it is the funniest possible like version of a phone call and you are the funniest possible version of a person. That's awesome Alice. How are you? I'm very sweet. Guy just. Yeah, I'm really good. Guy told me that you guys talk all the time on the phone and I immediately got jealous.

I did not say all the time. Oh sorry, anytime you get a chance. I said yeah. Occasional phone call partner, but in my head one of my main phone call companions. Yeah, I'd agree with that. I absolutely adore talking to this boy on the phone. I think of you as being pro phone call. Is that personal or is this you're talking to people?

I'm anti phone call. You're one of the people I make an exception for. Strangely enough. That is crazy. Why are you anti? Because it's just like so boring. If I rang you Alice, would you pick up? Be honest. Yeah, no, no, no, I would be. I would. I would.

And you're in your head. What would you think's going on? And if I started talking to you, like it totally wasn't a work thing. I was just like, I just want to see how you're going and check in and. I'd wrap it up pretty quick. Yeah, fair enough. I appreciate the honesty. No honesty I don't mind I mean I was long distance with my girlfriend so I talk to her all the time but it would drive me crazy that's it those are the medium is

not the message here I am NOT your girlfriend those those those are different phone calls the long distance phone calls I think when you're falling in love incredible I mean the feeling of wanting to talk to someone on the phone for that Those are different phone calls too. The long distance phone calls, I think, when you're falling in love, incredible. I mean, the feeling of wanting to talk to someone on the phone for that long and fall asleep with them there, beautiful. Once you're through that and you're just maintaining a long distance relationship, the phone calls are not dreadful, but certainly... Dreadery. Yeah, there's a feeling of like, oh, we've, you know, like, and I think it's going from both ends where you're thinking we've just got to maintain this connection on the phone of all places.

Yeah, it's so bizarre. It's so bizarre. And I think maybe that's, that's where the men the direction of going. Okay, that's enough. But also I sometimes I have this thing. Um, actually my girlfriend tells me this a lot where I just, it's like a switch goes off and then I'm done. No that's because we got a spicy soup last night. What?

I always thought I'd gotten away with it. That's so funny because you know in my head I was doing a call back for no one to your first stand-up set and but For you you actually of course are still living with Stays with me it stays with me past just the show Is awful this guy how this is how guy interprets everyone's lived experience. What's the punchline? I'm a hold on to that What the fuck ever I'll let that guy Spicy soup crazy. Was it was it worth it? So what? Yeah, it was amazing. It was like one of those places where you go like you get a bowl and it's kind of like the

Froyo thing of it all, you know We like fill your bowl up with ingredients and then they weigh the bowl and then they go away and add the soup and the soup I'm sorry guy what you know how like you know how like with frozen yogurt you get all your toppings and then they weigh it Roger that based on that sure well this is that for soup so are you talking raw ingredients that go into the soup or like different kind different varieties of soup? So we've got like tofu bok choy and there's just like a buffet of them and you just add them all. Hold on what you've just named are ingredients are we talking like a

gazpacho and there's like a chicken noodle and are you combining? Nah nah nah nah it's all no it's like a fish one. Are you imagining like slop You're imagining different liquids? Here's what's confusing me, right? The beauty of the soup is that you have the ingredients bleeding into the water, that's what soup is. But what I'm getting from Alice is that you're just getting the soup, like the ingredients of the soup immediately and then you've got no soup time of the soup immediately and then you've got no soup time to seep it into the water. No, no, no. It's more like, I think maybe you're using a Eurocentric lens. So articulate.

Please call me in and I'll listen. Imagine sort of more of like a Lux a like a luxor sort of vibe. Right. Right. Right. So you add all of your dry ingredients. I've been to Thailand. Roger that. And this is definitely not a luxor because it was Szechuan beef broth. Oh, sad. Just to make it kind of palatable. Who's responsible for how spicy the soup is?

Well, I did get an option and I picked medium. It's Guy and Tim on the phone for their podcast. Is it imagery? I'm on a podcast. Yeah. Can you believe it? Can you say this to Emo? Can you say, can you believe it? Can you believe it? She's not responded to that. Can you say, can you believe it? Can you believe it? She's not responded to that.

She just looked me dead in the eyes and said no. That's so good. Do you know that's a real, it's an interesting insight into the relationship and the trust and love you have. I would say if I was in your situation, I would go to Chelsea, hey, I'm going to be on the phone for a podcast. I wouldn't just go to the shitter, pick up the phone, say I'll call you back, then wander around the house in front of my partner. And when they look at me like, what the fuck are you doing? Why are you talking like that? Be like, oh yeah, I'm on a podcast. like that be like oh yeah I'm on a podcast I feel like you were making such a good point five minutes ago and I can't remember exactly what it was but you were spitting real fire there Alice hey how's your life in the UK how's it all going?

Does this go out unedited? 100% This is the whole podcast Fire there Alice. Hey, how's your life in the UK? How's it all going? This is this is well now Tim and I do a bit beforehand which and that's what really gets the people in and then you Come on, you can actually watch the the listeners dropping off and then we put in the notes We put like a link to when Alice is off the phone and you'll see the numbers It's so cool to have this really rich data to draw from. We're kind of using you as an experiment for our popularity. If you're looking for flexible workouts, Peloton's got you covered. Summer runs or playoff season meditations, whatever your vibe. Peloton has thousands of classes built to push you.

We know how life goes. New father, new routines, new locations. What matters is that you have something there to adapt with you, whether you need a challenge or rest. And Peloton has everything you need. Whenever you need it, find your push, find your power. Peloton, visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. I get great. I love that.

Can I give you another five for that? The origins of calling you on the phone, calling one on the phone, is I'm genuinely... You know that I love the phone. Yeah, it is. I want to... I just want to keep phone calls in the discourse, I want to keep them alive, I want to encourage other people to make phone calls. I think it's such a cool idea. I think it's a beautiful way to stay in touch and connect with people.

And these, you know, we've become too distracted by all the bells and whistles on these smartphones and we're not using the pure function of fucking being able to talk to you on a brisk London morning to say how the bloody hell are you? It's so true. My friend the other day was just telling me that he started treating his mobile phone like a landline. So he's like set up a little space for it in the house. When he gets in the house, he plugs it in. and then he just goes about his business in the home And whenever he has a text message or a call then he goes to the phone and does it there and then leaves it there

That is unspeakably twee I give it like two days. Your friends are fucking liar. They're either lying to you or themself No, but I want you to check in with them I love the concept but there's a man whose parents were on the mother's side a professor at a high ranking university and his father was a banker. That is who that person is. God you're actually his dad is a scientist and a lecturer so you're not that far off. And what's the mum do? I can't recall Yeah, and that's the patriarchy She can yeah, I just assumed she was just around

London life's good, you know, thanks for checking in guys. Well, can I ask you what's the thing that you like the best about London that is not a part of life in New Zealand? And what's the thing that you miss the most aside from Present Company Excluded? Let's say that. OK, the thing I like the most about London that's different from New Zealand, probably like the access to like events. The accents. I Probably like the access to like events. The accents. I would say. The, the access. Yeah, they do have funny voices in the plays over there.

That's awesome. This Christ guy. What an, what an absolutely threadbare gag to try and trick one in. My word. I've been hanging out with a nine yearyear-old all day and to be fair I'm only pointing it out because you're a talented comedian This is crazy

I don't think it's that far from the kind of standard threadbare of his comedy Fuck him off Alan. You've misheard a word and then you just carry on. Is this what you're talking about when you say access to events is like you get to see the real deal over there? Or you get to see something and appreciate what you're missing? No, I think we get to see the real deal. And what's it?

Yeah, yeah, here we go. What do we do? We went to watch it I mean this is very specific maybe to my and my partner's interests but we went to a movie about lesbian artists that is incredibly specific what you managed to see but when you weren't busy shitting your ring out and the I got the soup afterwards. So I was good to go for the movie element. I bet you feel like when you're watching that boring ass movie, you got the order all wrong.

Oh my God, you piece of shit. It wasn't boring. It was great. And then the artist spoke afterwards and apparently she's quite well-known. Emma, what's your name again and apparently she's quite well known Wait was that a documentary? Yeah, it was a documentary Nicole Eisenman is very famous he googled recently

Guy I'm a blow up your whole damn spot as you you said, apparently she's a very well-known artist guy Literally was tippity-tapping on his little Macbook No, no, no, all I know, look, I don't know a lot, all I know is Nicole Eisenman born in 1955 That's bullshit, man! Is a French-born American artist known for her oil paintings and sculptures. That's all I know! Fuck you, dude. Yeah, exactly. Fuck you, dude. Anyway, so we got to do that and then we went and got the spicy soup and all of the Christmas lights were out. That was a one night? And it was just...

Yeah. That's madness man. It was beautiful. You live a full rich life. Yeah, it was incredible actually. Well, last night I did. You know, other nights I just stay inside and watch TV. Yeah, I get a bit of that too. Can I say... Yeah, so that's kind of quite similar to home. It's tangential, but I want to mention it because it's occurred to me and I can't help

myself. Do you know you two are two of my closest, I feel as though I can be my most unvarnished and arguably worst self with you two. And that is a compliment. Oh God, I'd love to hear that. That rules. Yeah, that's awesome. You know this is going out publicly though, so be careful.

That's true. It's just your two very closest friends and a few fans. Well, I do... Every guy starts talking about the allegations. All I can say is if Alastair's been on the phone for 15 minutes on this show so far, it's just us. If any of you have any confessions to get off your chest, this is your window. Okay, number one what I would say and I've talked about this with you before Alice, that dead body scenario where you've got a dead body and you can only call three friends. Yeah good news You're on the list number one

Why hold on why Alice she's got a conscience I'd be so likely just to turn you in right away. She's got a Hold on hold on Are you serious Yeah, you strike me all the fucking time. Are you serious Alice? You get to keep my friendship. Yeah yeah yeah. You strike me as the least snitch, I know you've got a law degree but you strike me as the least snitchy person out. It's not it's not from a snitch perspective but if you were to actually assess the situation now I'm assuming

Guy didn't kill in cold blood. No. I'm assuming it was maybe self-defense in this scenario or an accident of some kind? Yeah, I can spit it. Something's gone wrong. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, no, no, hold on. Was it in this hypothetical, was it cold blood or was it an accident? It's not in cold blood, but like let's imagine that, you know, you're reading it in a novel. Yeah. The reason it's not in cold blood is because you've known me from the start of the book and you kind of empathize with my scenario. The blood is warm.

Hmm. I'm going to need something more specific. I think it really depends on how this person was. Basically what I'm getting at is that guy as an attractive white man, if he's made a mistake, he'll probably be fine. So I think we just go through the proper processes and it'll all work out. What an incredible... So this is such a beautiful coupling of a critique of society at large, but also a sort of confidence in the system to work for one specific set of people that guy happens to fall inside of.

Yes, that's exactly right. Okay, well I got bad news for you Alice. You're off the list. Oh come on. Come on. Come on, keep me on there because I'd be a friend, I wouldn't abandon you. I'd stay with you through the process. I know you, a friend. I wouldn't abandon you. I'd stay with you through the process. I know you. I know that you wouldn't abandon me.

I'd visit you in prison. I mean, so long as we're here, can I get you guys want to do your three? Tim, do you have a three? Nick Phones, number one. Yeah, it doesn't matter if it was hot or cold blood. Alice, I think you've met Nick. He was at the wedding Yeah, he was my best man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he would he would sort shit out

Nice Guys definitely top three. He might be number two Wow But you're not god really? Yeah, I don't know. He's got like I feel yeah, it's interesting, isn't it? You start doing the Rolodex of the people in your life. Funnily enough, I actually reckon- It's a very specific set of skills which we're talking about. Do you wanna know who comes to mind?

My fucking dad. I reckon my dad would not snitch. And I reckon he's incredibly like, he's physically able, he's got a good, really good mind on it. Like if we had to dispose of the body He's the nicest guy you leave a mate, but I feel like he'd figure out the right solution to it Yeah, so I feel like it goes Nick Andy

Guy probably it's pretty problematic Close for Yohana Cosgrove, I feel like she's killed and buried and she will again. She knows how it works. Snidhead, who have you got? Leon Waddam's, my number one pit. Beautiful. In the draft. So smart, so manipulative.

So handsome. Exactly. So strong, yeah. Yeah, his ability to compartmentalize and follow structure. He's a director. He has to. OK, great. One. Yeah. And I genuinely believe there's a chance he'd forget it ever happened. And then my number two,

And then my number two, his ex-boyfriend, Cindy Salwitz. And he's also strong, he's also very cunning, very practically minded, and mentally resilient. So I think he'd be great. And then the third one, can I just pick two? I don't know if there's anyone else. Yeah, you can pick two. Two's great. I love your answers. I've thought about my three. Yeah, I mean, okay. Sorry. Yes. I'm ready to please hit us. Number one, one Nicole Eisenman huge fan of her work Incredible artist and it's unique. We need to support woman in the arts number two Imogen Taylor fantastic woman Yeah, incredibly resourceful and obviously running it out free to Carlo. Oh my god poke a hole in that Poke a hole in well I

Actually think if Emma wasn't my girlfriend should be a great person to pick for the exercise. The only reason I didn't pick her is because I don't want to burden her with having been a part of it. And also statistically, she's the person you murdered. Yeah, that's true. So in this scenario, she's gone. I don't think she's an option anymore unfortunately hey Alice the other question we have to pose to you today is we've got our word of the day which is something we do on every podcast episode brought to us by wordgenerator.com and the word is ready what does

the word ready mean to you I'm ready I've just got to go to the bathroom and then we can go That's what it means. Yeah, and what if what if okay? Can I do a roleplay with you? Hey, yeah We're leaving in 15 minutes. Okay, we're not yes. We're not about to leave We're leaving in 15 minutes to make sure everything you've taken care of and then we're out the door. Yeah. Okay, now imagine 15 minutes in the future. All right, we're out of here. You're good to go?

Yeah, I'm just going to go to the bathroom. Son of a bitch. I knew you were going to do it to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, I don't know what it, 15 minutes before we leave the house, I'm still in bed. That's the number one rule. And I'm saying I'm getting out of here in five minutes. Do you know you leaving the house,

that's me going on stage. There is always a shit in the tank. There's always one extra bit of shit to get out before we go on stage. I've just been like a little pee or something. Like I'm not like, I don't want to give off the impression here that I'm like completely controlled by my cash flow intentional system. Can I just say if that was your intention

going on this podcast you've done a fucking invisible job. It's like you want to go on the record. I just need to clear this up. If I can do it some way. Oh my god I hate that this is the perception of me out there and I don't know where it's coming from It's coming from Guy Montgomery and Alice Sneddon It's coming from you picking up the phone

Out of nowhere this kind of whole thing's evolved Um, yes, I think getting ready, what is ready? It means, you know, let's go for it. The, you know, I'm at the gate, I'm ready, I'm off. Thirsty at the seams to get underway. Aside from the readiness of preparing to leave the house, can I reflect in you, I think, there's a readiness or you don't leave things to the last minute,

professionally at least. My impression of you is that you are ready. You are. Ironically, you've got your shit together. You're one of the few chipper awareers. It's not like on the day right up to the fucking last minute. You get it done beforehand. Is that true?

Yeah, I think that is 50% true. That makes it pretty true. Yeah, I get a bunch done beforehand and then there's always the last push that comes from the urgency of the fact that it's happening imminently. So it's partially true. But I think I chip away a little bit. I don't know. I hope so. I've lost all perspective of what my work ethic is like these days. Yeah, it's a shame. I can't tell if it's robust or if it's actually shocking. You are and have always been since I've known you as a close friend. Incredibly shocking.

One of the laziest people. Yeah. Yeah. I think that might be true. Can I say something in defense of the lazy? There is a utility of people being lazy. I consider myself lazy and the- No, you don't have it.

The distance you will go to be lazy though is impressive.. Yeah, I think like if you're truly lazy, you'll set up all of these things to be lazy Do you do you sort of vibe with that Alice? Yeah, absolutely. I think my favorite thing is when I'm lying down is to try get other people to get stuff for me I kind of have charges at various places just so I could always plug in without having to leave you know. I have one area in my house that I use sort of like a landline and that's where I charge it up it's where I do all my business. Oh wow. What am I doing on my landline most of the time? Masturbating. He's the friend I was talking about. I'm actually researching queer artists.

Okay. Alice, I've got another... I've got... And this will be my final question for you. And I'm speaking on behalf of a lot of fans of yours out there. Is there any future for Bonus of the Heart? Because I know a lot of people were so into it. This was your podcast with Rose Matafeo, which existed many moons ago. As always, I just want to reassure the fans that we remain great friends.

I'm actually currently living in one of... That podcast was never about your friendship. It was. It was always... You're right. It was about the celebrity crushes. It was a strict, rigid structure that we had had to, and occasionally through the glimpses a friendship would emerge. But you're right, it was always about, what basically happened right, I think, is that Rose got too famous and therefore too close to the people we were talking about having sex with.

Fair, fair. That somewhat diminished the premise. But every now and then we talk about doing a Christmas special. It's just a matter of, um, all we need is just somebody to organize it for us. Well I live on the other side of the world so it's slightly trickier but if you'll respond to my emails I'll be happy to be that person. It is a pleasure to be party to your business call. No wonder Sneed's trying to get off the phone when you call up. I have this effect on you guy, I know this. I rig and you go, and in your brain you go, oh we're cool, nah. You pick it up but you're disappointed. No, no, I think the tide has changed.

The tide has turned. It took me some work though. Anyway, listen, Alice, you said what you were going to say? Nah, I don't want to. There was an anecdote, it was way back when you guys were talking about going to the movies. I just wanted to share. We went down the murder route. The thing I actually was broaching, I had bookmarked in my head.

It's not really relevant to any of the conversation we've had, but I just, I remember going to, when Chelsea and I first went to like, we were doing long distance and we were staying upstate somewhere, we were in like New York and we went to the small town movie theater and the only thing they were playing

was a documentary about Mr. Rogers, the iconic American, you know, children's television presenter. And it was around the same time as that Tom Hanks. I think it was the Tom Hanks movie. We have a biopic. It was not that it was a genuine documentary. Okay. And Chelsea will hate that I'm telling this on the podcast, but I think it's so funny.

We sat down to watch the movie and Chelsea turned to me and she said, documentary is my favorite genre of film. The movie starts playing. Chelsea falls asleep within three minutes. The movie finishes. She wakes up and I go what do you think? She said it wasn't very good was it? And I said you just told me this is your favorite genre of movie. You slid through the whole thing and now you're telling me it wasn't any good Why do you think I fell asleep He is the most visceral form of critic

Yeah, well I loved this documentary yesterday although it was like quite an arty crowd. Yeah of course. Nicole does draw that kind of crowd. She does draw that kind of crowd. But I thought it was quite funny in bits. I didn't feel like it was necessarily getting as much from the theatre. Well Imogen said that she wasn't sure if it was meant to be funny. She didn't think it was.

Everyone in the arts think they're so afraid of being, ironically, they're so afraid of being vulnerable they won't laugh at anything. They're too focused on being cool. Did they cover her winning the MacArthur Fellowship in 2015? Was that in there? No they didn't cover her winning the MacArthur Fellowship. Because I just added that to her Wikipedia article it's not real I really loved that

Anyone can add shit to the Wikipedia guy I'm not making it up Yeah guys just on the wiki No I just thought No they didn't cover that Oh that's interesting They covered her being a heroin addict so that was interesting Oh yeah

Positively or like it was a negative No it's like in the movie talking about her being a part of that scene and then she spoke about it a bit. She's sober now, I think. Gotcha. Yeah. Definitely. She went to the Betty Ford club.

Can I say if this is true? Can I just say about Americans, they do heroin and then they come off it. They're like, I don't do anything. It's like, guess what? You can drink beers if you want. You're fine. Sometimes it's easier for them not to. Can you? I don't know.

The craziest thing about this? I'm interested in that. Is dragon alcohol different? Well, heroin's different to fucking everything. This is my issue. People are like, I got hooked on heroin. I'm like, yeah, I'm not surprised. It's fucking heroin.

And they're like, yeah, I couldn't drink a drop of alcohol. You actually can. You're probably sweet as. You're probably fine with booze. I didn't ask her if she drinks booze a lot. Well, I'll go to the next Q&A for the screening in New Zealand. I didn't ask her anything, to be fair. It's crazy to me that it sounds like the documentary is a lot more thorough than the personal life tab on her Wikipedia page.

But I guess it just goes to show, huh? Different mediums, different information. She was actually only one of three artists featured in the documentary. The first was a woman called Alice Austin, who was a photographer in the late 19th century. Is this of interest to you, boys? You're talking to me like I don't know who Alice Austin is.

But there was some funny lesbian stuff in there, like they have proof that she was a lesbian. I've always thought, lesbians have such a, can I say it on the record, lesbians have such a great sense of humour. I'm gonna let you go. Well there was some funny stuff, they were like, she was a lesbian, she drove her own car. Honestly. Yeah, I agree. That cut on her. Yeah, far out.

I was like, we'll take that. Not all lesbians can drive their own car, but all women who drive their own cars are lesbians. Never a truer word spoken. Guys, I'm going to ask you the very last question of this podcast before we wrap it all up with a bow. Great, let's wrap this up. I thought you crushed it just then actually with that statement. So now I have to think of a question on my feet, which is, would you like to talk on the phone sometime this week? Just one on one? Yeah, that'd be nice, yeah.

Are you working or are you on holidays? That's two close friends. I'm afraid you cannot answer that. Alice, I'm so sorry you cannot answer that. You cannot answer that on the podcast. I'm so sorry. It's been great to talk to you, but we gotta let you go. Oh, it's so nice to talk to you. New Zealand's most affable boys. That's a good credit. Thank you very much. Yeah, that's a great credit. Thank you very much. Yeah, that's a great credit The final question is no, can you help me with this body in the food? Love you bye

There we go, and there's one of New Zealand's true great exports. I'd just like to say, sorry about her. She can be real. He loves that bit. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for listening to Good Times on the West idea of all time podcast. If you'd like to see the vision, which is, it is what it is,

man. I think the reason people support us on Substack is really to support the show people support us on sub stack is really to support the show more than to see us but if you are so curious to see what these two boys with as we mentioned in the last episode gorgeous cheekbones could possibly look like they want to go to TWIoAT.substack.com that's twiowat.substack.com and give us $5 a month and then you get access to bonus content and the video episodes.

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