The Worst Idea Of All Time - Overlooked 3 - 3: Why w/ Joseph Moore
Episode Date: January 13, 2021Self-confessed Schneiderhead Joseph Moore - a man who has watched Rob's special three times now, joins us as a guest for episode three version 2.0. This was recorded well after we had completed this e...ntire season of Overlooked and Undercooked. With this much knowledge, Joseph is able to pitch a gritty reboot of Deuce Bigalow and explores whether Mitt Romney attended this live special. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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Hello everybody and welcome to episode 3 of Overlooked and Undercooked season 3.
Now this is a tricky one, so Guy's going to explain what's going on.
So it's tricky because some people are having trouble understanding the name of the special.
This is called Asian Mama Mexican Kids.
And do you know why, Tim?
I couldn't be more angry at you.
I threw up a fucking inflated child's beach ball for you to lightly tap back into the court
and you fucking brought a needle and popped it.
Unbelievable.
I can't believe you found a way.
Guys, we've already recorded the season.
I've had it up to fucking here with Guy Montgomery's reminder
of the ethnic makeup of this family that's referred to in the special we're time
traveling right now we are doing this after we've recorded all the other episodes because
the audio unfortunately got lost for our guests part and our guest i'm delighted to say is joseph
moore yes hi joseph hello Such a privilege to watch this show again.
You're listening to this as our third episode.
We have recorded this after all the other episodes.
We recorded this months after the entire season has been done.
I am so interested in your commitment to the canon of this episode
that you're still placing it where it was.
So should you guys be behaving this entire time
like this is only the third time you've seen it?
It's impossible to do that.
We don't lie to the audience.
Why don't we just make this the last episode?
Well, I've said it out loud now.
No, no, no.
That doesn't make any sense.
In case we reference things
that are brought up later in the season.
There's an arc.
This whole season's got an arc.
I would like to say this.
The special is so named because Rob Schneider's mother is Asian.
He's got an Asian mama.
But his kids?
Filipino.
Yeah.
His kids, however, are Mexican.
Yeah. His kids, however, are Mexican. Yeah. Why did he go broad continent description for his mother and specific for his wife?
One of so many questions I have.
Maybe Asian mama Hispanic kids or Filipina mama Mexican kids.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, options abound.
It is interesting to think about, isn't it?
Why he set her on the title that he did.
But I'm glad we're all on the same page now.
We know what we've watched.
We know why it was called what it was called.
Why?
Why is it called Asian Mama Mexican Kids?
I'm so glad you asked.
The mama is Asian, Rob's mama.
But the kids, they're Mexican.
What's his dad?
Insist that we move on.
Not mentioned at all.
No, I don't think so.
There's a picture of him at the end of the credits, I think.
No, it's his mom.
I think there's both of them, isn't there?
Oh, no, you're right.
No, it is just his, as we would say in New Zealand, mom.
Yes.
Why didn't they change the name for Netflix New Zealand
so we can understand?
Yeah, I know, right?
They really should have.
It's sort of culturally insensitive.
If they could change philosopher's stone to sorcerer's stone,
they could easily make this Asian mum.
Do you reckon he would then have to read up...
Mexican little rascals.
That's what we call kids here.
That's what we call kids in New Zealand.
Yeah.
So, yeah, we've watched...
Tim and I have now watched this eight times.
Joseph, you've now watched it three times.
Yes.
More than most of you have.
That shouldn't be the case.
Probably two more than you thought.
So I'd watched it on my own accord,
which made you go,
hey, do you want to do the podcast?
And I watched it again for the podcast, and then we lost the audio.
I'm going to say I lost the audio.
Can you please rank the enjoyment of the special in order from first to third viewing?
This third viewing today was my first one not alone, so the social element was really nice.
And I introduced a rule that we used to have in a flat I used to live in whereby if the audience claps, you clap.
Yes, and it's quite a good way of seeing how often the audience claps.
Yeah, and it's just good to feel part of something.
We used to do it in the house I lived in,
and we'd watch David Letterman.
Are you familiar with that show?
You know about this?
Yeah, he was a late-night talk show host.
So in New Zealand, they used to play the episodes about a month late.
So you'd get a nice preview for a movie from early June.
And we'd watch Letterman every night at our house.
And you had to applaud every time the audience did at any joke.
See, do you know, this would make more sense to me if it happened in 2020
during one of the lockdowns where we were longing for human connection.
But you were doing this years ago when you could actually just go out and enjoy live entertainment.
Yeah, there was a world of it out there for us.
But no, we wanted to see Gerard Butler talk about one of his famous films, President Man.
Yeah, yeah.
Fuck, I was written Eagle Down?
No, that's not it.
What was the one where the White House gets penetrated?
There's three of them.
What?
Only one with him, though, surely.
No, he's in all of them.
London has fallen, Olympus has fallen, and Angel has fallen.
Was he in 300 as well?
Yeah, he was.
I always get Gerard Butler and Clive Owen confused.
Does that make sense to anyone?
Nope.
Is that anything?
They're very different.
So, Guy, you brought up that it was so nice.
Well, I don't know if you actually said nice.
You said it was so different to watch this out of a lockdown context.
Because when we were doing the rest of these episodes, we were kind of all watching them.
I think we watched all of them solo, respectively, and then came together on the internet.
No, no, we started during lockdown and by the end of it we were in person sitting shoulder to shoulder oh right um but yeah it just feels like inside
of the fog of a lockdown and a repeated viewing system it sort of uh you lose sight and i was
more liable to become angry at rob schneider because i didn't like the material but in this
instance i it sort of casts a much sadder shadow over the whole thing and if i feel like i'm
looking i'm watching it more like i can see the distance between myself and my relationship to
the material so i'm watching it more objectively with more distance between me and it's just quite
a um well it's just a bit sadder yeah how would you describe it jay it rob schneider claims
throughout it to speak for all men.
Yes.
And it made me sad for him, but also worried for myself.
Because he could be right?
Yeah, whatever.
You might have picked the picture.
Not yet, but I'm not 50 yet like him.
And, you know, we could have similar career trajectories.
I don't think so, Joe. I think you could.
There are some useful for instances in here.
So in Rob Schneider's world, all men, when they go on a date with a woman, they only want sex.
And if a relationship happens, fuck it.
Less so sex, more specifically to grab her breasts without her knowing.
Yes.
And the way you do that is you put your hands outstretched in front of your own chest and walk towards them. Yeah, like there's a spiderweb in the way. Yes. And the way you do that is you put your hands outstretched in front of your own chest and
walk towards them.
Yeah.
Like there's a spiderweb in the way.
Yes.
And it's dark.
That's what women like.
So, you know, as if, for instance, can you empathize or relate to these examples?
No, no.
But who knows how sad I'll become, you know?
Hmm.
I'm going to aim not to, but I just worry I just worry if that's a path for any of us.
I'm sure Rob Schneider, when he was 30,
he wasn't like,
I can't wait to one day be the saddest man
in the entire world.
I don't think that was his goal,
but I think that Rob Schneider at 30
is exactly the same guy as Rob Schneider
at whatever age he was when he recorded this.
All of this material feels like it was lifted
from that specific era in his life.
Hold on for a second.
How old was he when he was at the pinnacle?
I think mid-20s.
During all those movies.
Well, he said he's early 30s.
How old does he say he is now?
I think we looked this up.
He's like 52, something like that.
So he'd be 30 doing Juice Bigalow.
The Animal, Juice Bigalow, and the 30 Doing The animal Juice Bigalow
And the hot chick
Juice Bigalow 2
European Gigolo
European Gigolo
He's 57
Seven
Okay
So he's a
Look I'm not yet
I'm not yet at my
Juice Bigalow age
I just
What is it
What will be
Joseph Moore's
Juice Bigalow
My movie
Juice Bigalow
The Reboot
Which I hope I hope will be my vehicle can you can you tell us a bit about
the movie what do you reckon what the changes to the sort of climate isn't there right now
sex workers has a lot more kind of as people talk about it with more nuance and yeah so our film
will reflect there'll be a gritty look at sex work as told through.
And the reason people get into sex work as well is not like,
Juice Bigelow did it to help cover the costs of repairing a fish tank.
Oh, look at that.
Whereas often it's just like kind of hardship or supporting kids.
So mine will be more like that.
Wow.
You've taken away a lot of the comedy elements. Yeah't say it would be a comedy for a second i just thought if you're doing a juice
bigelow reboot you'd keep some of it yeah guy keep up i think just the comedy will be like
kind of natural human interactions kind of and the the warmth people get inside just from just
from seeing themselves reflected on wow It'll be mainly sex workers who
find it funny.
Will there be any
will you don't need
tall woman?
Oh yeah.
There's still going
to be a big giant
woman.
There's still going
to be from the
sequel but we're
putting it into the
first one.
There's still going
to be a woman with
a penis for a nose.
Wait.
That is funny.
Yeah.
Is that in the
first one?
The second one. Is it? He meets a woman with a penis for a funny. Yeah. Is that in the first one? The second one.
Is it?
He meets a woman with a penis for a nose, yes.
I did...
Okay.
I mean, that is so far from what we're watching now into the stand-up, which is pretty much
40 minutes of him gaslighting his wife and entire family to an audience of paying fans.
Yeah, that's fucking wild, eh?
And then brings his wife out on stage and go here she is here's the horrible
yeah burden on my life who was who wants to leave me before he brings his wife out he's also
um talked a lot about his daughters and then out of the blue after 40 minutes brings out a third
to this moment unmentioned daughter famous soul singer al king that that is truly one of the most
astounding i didn't know it was coming the first time.
Would that I were drinking.
A spit take.
Because you're a big music person.
You're a musical comedian.
And a huge Schneider fan.
Yeah, I'm a Schneider head.
So you know about Al King.
We had no idea this woman existed or her career or anything.
I'm one of the...
All the King's horses, we call ourselves.
The fan group.
No, I know of Al King.
I know their song X's and O's.
So it must have been fucking crazy for her to...
Yeah, I knew she was Schneider.
There was a fun tidbit I have that now I assume the world knows.
As the world have all watched the special.
It seems crazy to me as well
that there is some attempts
at structure in the special.
He tries to do some callback jokes,
for example,
where you set something up
and then you remind people you've said it.
And the comedy audience
fucking love that shit.
It's the easiest trick.
At no point does he mention his eldest,
and it would be such an easy thing to just put a story in about her
somewhere in amongst all the other kids' stories,
and then she walks out at the end and sings a song with him.
What a button on a gap.
As Joseph so brilliantly noticed, though,
a lot of this material is Rob Schneider having noticed stuff 24 hours
before he remembered he had to tape a special.
And so the sample size that he's drawing material from is literally only that 24 hours.
There's so many observations in it that feel like he's just recently decided that he has to start observing his family.
Because he has the special coming up.
He stretches five minutes out of a son telling him about a dream.
Or this kid telling him about a dream.
Yeah, yeah.
And not a particularly good dream.
Absolutely not.
But it was that morning, he's like, God, I need something else.
And as it currently stands, I'm bringing El King out at 22 minutes.
I need to stretch this into a bit 37.
And then he remembered.
For my hourlong Netflix special.
And he also remembered that he had a bevy of accent work up his sleeve.
He doesn't know what the material is,
but he knows if he gets into the accent work chunk,
he can pad for a minute.
I'm certain that he didn't plan to do the accent work.
He did one joke in an accent, and it hit better than anything.
Well, the good thing about Rob Schneider is he may not have been paying attention to his family, but he has been paying close attention to the Asian-American community through his life
and has a well of observations to draw upon.
Oh, yes.
Chinese restaurants and Korean whorehouses, I believe, are the two targets.
And Asian-Americans not constituting any of the homeless population
of America. That's right. Those are the
famous Rob Schneider Asian American
facts that he spins into several
hilarious bits. He also misses
an opportunity for a callback on his
iconic Korean whorehouse material.
Because at one point when he's doing that joke
he says, this is the room where you suck your own dick.
Which I would argue, stripped of the context
that he specifically sets up to deliver that line, is a funny sentence.
It's a funny idea.
It's a funny bumper sticker.
It's funny to go to a room to do a thing which is, in my experience, very difficult, if not impossible, to do.
That you can easily do in your own house.
Yeah, that's right.
You'd not have to venture to a whorehouse, Korean or otherwise.
Exactly.
And so it's funny and then at
the end when he does this big iconic closer which is of course uh making a sunday out of his dick
because his wife doesn't want to fuck him and he's in the kitchen and he's describing an ice cream
sundae as though it's like the cleverest most rapturous thing and at the end of it his wife
comes in and finally sort of says acquiescence okay fine i guess i
should try out this sunday you've made and he says no no you're gonna make your own and then he
should say what is this a korean whorehouse huge huge huge shoots of applause come up from the
audience but instead of sort of just thanks everybody that's my time. 36 minute mark. Thank you, buddy. By the way, I have another daughter.
My only non-Mexican kid.
Joe, what would have to go wrong at a minimum in your life for you to go from this, where you are right now, to Rob Schneider at 57 with these opinions and this take on the world?
I've been recently engaged, as you know. Congratulations.
Thank you. So that would have to be called
off pretty soon. Yeah.
To start the downward trajectory.
I think later, though.
Like, day of.
He's had three divorces, let's bear
in mind. Joe? No,
Rob Schneider. Right, right.
To this date, no divorces. There you go. i also feel like that the failure of your gritty juice
bigelow reboot at the box office might go somewhere to deteriorating your mental health
to a point that this so so day of laura decides no way i'm out i hate this and i hate you i hate
you you don't spend any time with me you're upstairs writing your juice bigelow review
which you've refused
to cast me in
I think that's
the project that you do
to get yourself
out of the funk
right
you pick that up
to be like
I need something
to moor me
in this ocean of emotion
it's a documentary
and then
I go
what I do is
I go method
yeah exactly
and to fund the picture become a male gigolo who only dates comically unattractive women.
Anticipating the success of this fictional drama, you preemptively film a behind-the-scenes documentary about your method acting.
Do you know what's funny?
The documentary becomes a viral success with me as the laughingstock of it all.
Male gigolo is a tautology
and male is only there to meet the rhythm requirements
of the title of the film.
Of course, here in New Zealand,
if it got released on Netflix,
it would be called Juice Bigalow, male sex worker.
I think internationally, that's what we'll go with
to show that I use respectful language in this film.
To cajole some of the libs into the cinema.
Mate, go what?
Go broke.
Did you have any standout bits, Joe?
Are there any jokes or stories that Rob tells you love?
I don't want to be the guy going on the podcast um talking
shop uh this this isn't pete holmes you made it weird but uh we do a lot of it okay so so here's
a here's one of my crazy theories about crafting comedy is uh you should always get bigger as the
joke progresses uh you should start with your smallest laugh and end with your biggest
laugh. And if you're going for shock
value, you should always increase the shock value
and when it gets as high as it can, say, I don't know,
9-11. Then you
pull out of the joke and move on to another one.
Rob Schneider drops a 9-11 gag
about one minute
into a seven minute bit.
So
for those who
listen to the podcast
and aren't watching
the special
I don't know
who their right mind
but
most people
so the bit
he's talking about
how Chinese restaurants
will
don't care about
holidays
for example
Christmas
they all say
fuck Jesus
fuck Jesus
while flipping the bird
with both hands
to Jesus Christ.
And then he starts saying they'll even celebrate things that aren't holidays just to stay open.
I don't, there's not really much logic.
The bridge between pulling the fingers at Jesus and getting to 9-11 is when President Kennedy got assassinated.
It's like there's a special in between those two where it's like a president assassination special.
Oh my God, you're right right two for one president assassination special his idea of what generates
specials in chinese restaurants is christmas so they're open in spite of everyone else being
closed one of the most beloved american presidents being shot in the head dead and then nine are
left in their greatest terrorist attack christmas that's an observation that works because quite often
a Chinese restaurant will be open on Christmas
whereas others aren't.
But everyone else doesn't close
on 9-11.
Or when JFK got assassinated.
So he builds this hilarious
So it's just 9-11
9 types of soup
11 types of noodles. 9 types of meat.
Do justice to that, come on. 9-11 special, 9 types of meat, 11 types of noodles. Nine types of meat. Sorry, nine types of meat. Do justice to that.
Come on.
9-11 special, nine types of meat, 11 types of noodles.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Joe, can I ask a favor?
Yeah.
Can you say noodle like he says noodle?
No, I just won't.
That's one of the only people who have watched it.
And that's bold.
I don't know.
Maybe Americans listening will...
I actually said as we were watching it
that even if I was a diehard Rob Schneider fan
and had bought tickets to watch this taping,
I would be confused at how I feel
at this point in the special.
Especially for like...
Oh, you've lived in New York.
Was that an often brought up topic in comedy nights?
I know it's like a fun...
No, 9-11 is like their 9-11.
I know it's often an easy punch line that people like doing they reach for yeah but the low-hanging fruit we i had one in a comedy show i did it we did it in edinburgh
they loved it but i i reckon i'd pull it out of the show for them i don't think it just it just
seems odd that in utah're pulling out, like,
this shock value material.
These are, like, you know.
Mormons.
Also true blue Americans.
We looked up the – this is the most – the second least diverse state.
The ninth least diverse.
Oh, the ninth least diverse.
But still pretty underverse.
Like 90% white population.
Yeah.
These are people who – this stuff would, like,
be hitting them in the bloody
right in the chops literally mitt romney and his family i wonder if mitt romney went to the game
the romney clan yeah and their favorite comedian i'm not getting a real quick out of it schneider
sitting backstage uh he's like getting ready to go on he's i'm doing his accents in the mirror
and then his producer comes in and he's, I don't want to alarm you,
but Mitt Romney's just shown up and requested five tickets for him and his family.
Do we let him in?
He's like, yeah.
And it changes it.
Let's do it for Mitt.
I remember I did a comedy gig, and I went on Twitter before the show,
and I saw that Lorde, the singer, was in the crowd.
Wow.
Someone tweeted that.
New Zealand's Mitt Romney, Lorde.
But even though she was like a 17-year-old girl at the time,
I was like stressed out.
I was like, this has to go well.
In case Lorde tells Taylor Swift about this gig she went to.
And it really ruined me.
So I bet Rob Schneider went through similar.
I was in that gig.
I thought you did a great performance.
And Lorde did the same, right?
She told people that you were awesome.
I rewrote a bit where I did a little song.
I did a little song in the show.
And I was like, I know it's not up to scratch and Lorde won't be happy.
And I kept the changed version for the rest of the season.
Well, there's a little tip for the at-home comedians.
It's right as though Lorde is in the audience.
All of your jokes up to the standard of if Lord is in the audience.
Live as if Lord is watching.
So do you reckon when Schneider was told Romney was showing up plus four,
what was the last minute Romney addition to his show?
Al Kang.
He's got, at age 57, he's got enough self-awareness to be like i cannot do 37 minutes
of railing on my wife and asian americans for a former presidential candidate i need something
something wholesome and all american stories like reconciling exactly so he brings up his
very estranged daughter al king who is currently on tour in LA, and he says,
Elle, I know that we've had our differences.
I know that the rift generated by me deciding to marry a woman
less than two years older than you
has created distance between us
on top of our already tumultuous relationship,
but I really need you to do this for me.
And begrudgingly, she gets on a plane
because she's a decent person
who respects the institution of family
and helps out her dad, Rob Schneider,
who then takes it too far.
And if you watch the special, you will see this,
embraces her and forces this big kiss on her
that she doesn't want.
Clearly, they're not there yet.
I think the reason that there's that little bit of not there yet i would yeah well i think the reason
that there's that little bit of tension there is because when al king was on the plane rob schneider
was like robin is into politics i'll do my political material the jfk 2-1 assassination
bit and my 9-11 meat and noodles and text al saying don't worry about it i've got this and
then she said i've just landed he well, you might as well come then.
And so there's still this incredible unresolved...
He took it both ways.
The show's running three hours behind him.
Romney's sitting in the crowd on his second ice cream.
This thing better start soon.
No, because it's...
Because it's Mitt Romney just politely remaining in his seat.
No, no, kids.
I'm sure the show's about to begin.
He's a nice guy.
I watch Mitt.
He's a decent human, I think.
Which do you think of the Sandlerverse?
Which of the guys would have opened for Schneider?
Who would you send out?
David Spade.
Open it?
No way.
It's so crazy.
What do you mean?
Who's the guy?
He's like kind of a buff dude. Swartzen who's the guy that he's like a kind of a
buff dude swartzen nah nah like he's like a buff dude uh dante peter dante quite yeah i think that
sounds more like peter dante's a little stick of dynamite who's quite muscly but kind of not
tall yeah yeah that's the guy yeah yeah i think he opened for him he's he does a lot of weed
material hey peter d Dante is big into weed.
He's shown up on TMZ a few times.
If you look up Peter Dante on YouTube, you'll have yourself a good time.
Yeah.
He's quite a relaxed... There's a lot of videos of him.
He seems relaxed, but there's also reports of him not being very relaxed.
Do you know what he strikes me as?
This might not land for a lot of people, but those who do.
I thought I was going to say it.
He's a Venice Beach character, Peter Dante.
He is.
He's very tanned.
He's very muscly.
He's very, like, chill, but actually not chill at all.
Yeah, yeah.
And there's a sense of danger about him that is behind a veneer of friendliness and openness,
which I think is, like, most people you see on Venice Beach.
I think the analogy holds.
It's good.
Speaking of the sort of extended Sandlerverse and Rob Schneider materials,
you brought up, because we obviously, we're Rob Schneider stans.
You could say we've studied a lot of his work,
but you brought up a film that neither of us have seen.
Oh, yeah, Big Stan.
I've not seen Big Stan.
I didn't even know of Big Stan until you brought it up.
Yeah, I don't want to tell you how to run a run a podcast but your next podcast has to be watching big stan uh for the length of time of his prison
sentence in the movie life what's the uh synopsis okay so um do you have a cell phone available
i think it's it's hard to like say. Basically, Rob Schneider goes to prison,
and he's worried about his trip to prison.
For the traditional Rob Schneider comedy reasons?
Yeah, yeah.
2007.
Yeah.
One year before the global financial crash.
Coincidence?
So, Wikipedia probably, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I'd say so.
Oh, didn't do well at the box.
8.7.
But then the budget probably wasn't crazy, eh?
Oh, budget was seven and a half.
So yeah, it wasn't...
It broke even.
Oh yeah, you're earning a million dollars, you know?
It's not for the sneeze at.
Oh my God.
Oh, okay.
Maybe I should read this bit before the plot.
Although released in some markets during the fall of 08, it was
released straight to DVD in the US
on March 24th, 2009.
It debuted at number 17 on DVD
rental charts of the
week of March 23rd,
2009. Don't include that.
Get that off the Wikipedia. It doesn't have to be there.
That's too embarrassing. On the radio
show Love Lion, Schneider
stated that this film is an anti-man raping film.
Oh my fuck.
Referring to prison rape.
This is where I go into the plot.
Okay, Stan Milton is a rich real estate con artist
who is married to Mindy.
One day, Stan is arrested for conning elderly people
out of their savings,
which he tries to do to Mrs Darby
His lawyer Maul
Does all he can to defend him at trial
Upon being found guilty by the jury
And sentenced to three years in prison
While being given six months by Judge Perry
Sorry not life
To get his affairs in order
Oh he gets six months to get his affairs
That's not a standard
Judges don't let you do that
You'll go to prison for three years but we'll do it in six months um to get his affairs in order
stan panics stan panics and fear of jailhouse rape leads him to hire the mysterious guru known as the
master can i just say that whenever the star of the film is going around on the morning radio interview circuit and explicitly saying that this film is an anti-man raping.
That's anti-star.
It's like, this is the real hot chili stuff.
It's so bad.
Anyway, he never really goes to jail.
It's just him prepping to not be assaulted. The Master is portrayed by David Carradine,
who, didn't he die under quite tragic circumstances?
Yes.
And he is the martial arts expert that Stan is taking tutorship from.
Okay, so when this movie came out on DVD,
debuting at number 17 on the charts...
For that week.
For that week.
I was working at a DVD store that you
may remember called the CD
and DVD store. Yeah, a great
store. Beautiful chain, yeah. So I was working at
that. I liked them better than Sounds.
Yeah, Sounds were awesome. We hated those.
So the New Market Mall
and a very
old woman, I'd say
like 75.
Can you imagine anything older? i don't think you can
came into the store and she asked me if we had a movie called big stan
and i was pretty surprised by this request and you knew what this movie yeah yeah i hadn't seen
it at this stage um and i said uh i don't know i haven't seen it in the shop and i looked it up and it
had not it was not in print in new zealand no one had thought to release it on dvd
and i and this is like pre like amazon whatever pre a lot a lot of those things that made getting
overseas movies very easy like it is now but we had a system she could get it on a region one DVD. Oh, NTSC.
I could import it for her at a cost, getting the import fees, blah, blah, blah, at a cost of around 80 to 90 New Zealand dollars.
Oh, my God.
That's like 50 US dollars.
Yeah.
For the movie Big Stan.
In 2010.
And only on very specific DVD players
could you play it in this country.
Yeah, yeah, like torrenting was a thing.
There were probably ways.
I probably could have burned it.
She's as old as time itself.
75.
So I told her this.
One foot in the grave.
And I was like,
there's a good chance your DVD player
won't be able to play this. And she was like, I'll you you you there's a good chance your dvd player won't be able to
play this and she was like i'll take the risk and it took about like i'd say a month to two
months to arrive and and we got quite a few phone calls from the lady being like it's big stand here
and i i gotta i must i've gotta find out who she is. I don't know.
It's a shame this woman is almost definitely dead now,
because otherwise it would be such a treat to have her on the podcast.
If she were alive now, she'd be 84.
Oh, my God.
Can you imagine it?
I literally can't.
What life has this woman led?
It's interesting if you know something about Newmarket,
because this is an interesting clientele.
It's a very rich area of Auckland. It's very if you know something about Newmarket, because this is an interesting clientele. It's a very rich area of Auckland.
It's very affluent.
In our recent election where the left-wing party swept the nation, it was the only...
Centre-left.
Yeah, thank you, Tim.
It was the only electorate that didn't party vote Labour.
Oh my God, really?
In the entire country, yeah.
Holy shit.
So it's like the Orange County.
I guess after they made up for their weekly movie club of Big Stan, Oh my God, really? In the entire country, yeah. Holy shit. So it's like the Orange County, you know, it's the, yeah.
I guess after they, you know,
we meet up for their weekly movie club of Big Stan,
they must all have a good time talking politics,
making sure that everyone in the community is on the same page.
We need to talk about what's going on in Newmarket, you know.
That's why they bought up all the houses,
they have to stay rich so they can keep buying $90 Big Stan.
Schneider's next special.
The first thing I'll do when I own a million.
Head on down to the CD and DVD store.
In spite of how garbage this special is,
it's been so good to watch it in person with people, eh?
Because I've done a lot of these episodes of just me at that computer right there by myself.
Having to interface with Rob Schneider mano a mano.
And it gets fucking grim.
Really grim.
This was fun though. What was the most grim part of the show for you?
It was the watches.
But then it was getting really angry at Guy.
And it's weird for me to say this now recounting.
Because this is going to be episode three.
So then it's going to jump back into the series. But I got very angry at Guy, and it's weird for me to say this now recounting, because this is going to be episode three, so then it's going to jump back into the series.
But I got very angry at Guy, which was not, and I said this out loud, not his fault, not
deserved, but one of them was his insistence to continually reminding me why the title
was what it was.
What is the title?
No.
it was what it was what is the title no and the the other component of it was just just misplaced um ill feeling at having to do it all the time i i think it's uh you're honoring the structure of
the show itself by plonking this episode third yeah i think it uh the show is the Asian mom of Mexican kids is completely formless.
This is a response to the work itself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And yeah, I mean, it's a great it's a great special.
Can I bring up the spicy meatball that we said while this was on?
And this might be an indictment on all of us.
I'll own this.
I said this.
This was my opinion.
Quite a tragedy that Trump was accidentally imbued with so much power because we were watching this special going man there's a lot of um both material choices and
and rhythm uh and delivery style that mimics donald j trump's style of public speaking it's it's
it's formless right it's formless and it's repetitious.
There's sort of a beat poetry element
to what he decides to double down on
and it's very offensive.
And he's happiest when going off script.
That's right.
Especially at the expense of a ethnicity
or culture of people.
But the bits where he's most clearly enjoying himself
are the bits where he realises
he's stumbled into a little trick or something
and he can keep repeating it. About a minority. ideally yeah and that's why i stand by my theory
that he wasn't supposed to be doing any of the accent work until he got there in the room but
it was it was kind of like seeing a little slither of what it would be like to see donald trump do
stand up and and and i think that um trump would have been he's like got undeniable comic chops trump
it's like what a lot of his success is down to because he doesn't care yeah he doesn't care
about anyone else so he's he can cut absolutely sick he loves himself and he cares about nothing
else and schneider's got it to an extent where he's willing
to throw every um one around him under the bus for the service of himself and his his special
but but he also hates himself yeah well i think so schneider trump of trump hated himself but i
think trump hates i think they both hate themselves it's just how deep you need to go to find that
truth you don't get to be trump if you are well-adjusted and love yourself.
All of this to say, though, that you think it's a shame.
The presidency essentially robbed us of Donald Trump, the comedian,
the stand-up comedian, who I think would have been sensationally funny.
And the novelty would have been curious.
Maybe that's all I'm into.
It's hard to tease out the two things.
Because of the amount of power and the impact he's had purely the performative elements
of it just as a as a as a craft display i think donald trump would be a really good stand-up
comedian his material would probably be terrible i imagine as a guy who would host really uh like
rowdy open mic nights and if you even if you a good comedian came
and did did it and they did really badly be like that comedian ain't shit like if you can't handle
the terrible audience he builds and encourages to be awful yeah yeah then you're a dog shit
comedian and like he can assail it because he cares about yeah nothing he's one of those like
old dogs that everyone in the club scene respects.
They've been so shit at comedy but battled through it to have a career for so long.
But doesn't get TV work
or anything. And would absolutely
cuck it if he tried.
He represents everyone who has.
He's an icon.
But do you think that
Schneider is Trumpian?
Yeah, I mean I think a lot of the
patter is and like the the way that they talk i if you like if you imagined trump's cadence on
a lot of these things it would not seem remarkable like it's sort of like the bet it's the watching
it as rob schneider it's interesting because you're watching it as as if it's comedy but like
if if you if it was all of that exact script was in Donald Trump's voice,
you'd be able to tune it out in the background
just coming out of these insane rhythms.
You could put a lot of that show into a men's rights keynote speech
and just remove the laughs and just be all anger.
You could call the special men's rights keynote speech.
It's so short as well.
If you remove Al King, then it could be the keynote at an MRA.
Imagine though, if he was doing the keynote speech at a men's rights event and still brought out Al King.
It's like a gotcha.
He's like, guys, respect your daughters.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That would actually be perfect.
Like the perfect insulation against,
he'd think he's gotten away with it, you know?
I think the saddest bit in the show is
the big bit about how his wife has wanted to divorce him
his entire marriage.
It never really has a punchline.
No.
It's just he goes,
I told her that after three years you'll enjoy this
and then three years passes and she says,
I'm not enjoying this. I'm not enjoying this. And I said, no, it's five years this and then three years passes and she says i'm not
enjoying this i'm not enjoying this and i said no it's five years and then five years passes and
his punchline to that bit as well is hey wife have you ever considered the fact that i'm the best
thing that could happen to you and a partner and before he says it he says do you not realize that
all of the problems you're bringing here, these problems that you've specifically identified in the time we've been together,
are your problems?
Pony up, I'm your Prince Charming.
I'm your Prince Charming is his articulation of it.
And then he kind of like is talking about how if it was anyone else,
this could be going so much worse, so you should stick with me,
which was the point where Guy Montgomery said out loud,
he is gaslighting his wife in front of an audience.
Yeah.
Was Elle King...
I reckon she wasn't listening to the show.
I reckon she couldn't...
I don't think her or the pianist
I don't think would have walked out
with quite the same gust of...
The pianist who is of Asian descent...
I'm going to get his name.
He's a Japanese pianist.
Japanese-American pianist. At least Schne descent. I'm going to get his name. He's a Japanese pianist. Japanese American pianist.
At least Schneider spears the Japanese in his takedown of Asian America.
Do you reckon he had to scrape a bit?
It doesn't make it any more palatable.
No, no, no.
Not at all.
But yeah, so right after the Korean whorehouse bit.
That's a funny sentence.
He finishes his Korean Hall house bit To
Rampant applause
And then he goes
Ladies and gentlemen
From all of us in the room
One of the
One of the instances
Where we tried to initiate
Applause
At the
At the show
By doing it in the room
And then he
He brings out his pianist
A Japanese guy
And like
You can't help but go
Is this
In relation to the
Korean Hall house bit
It's not though
It's just to underscore His musings on Me Too.
You want to know something weird?
I just Googled Rob Schneider pianist,
and it came up with Rob Schneider's Wikipedia page.
Do most comedians have political party listed on their wikis?
He's an independent, isn't he?
According to this, he's a Republican, which is actually surprising me.
He's endorsed Trump, right?
No.
Read it!
Surely.
Have you not read this? No, I've not read this. Read it and find out. Okay, well, right? No. Read it! Surely. Have you not read this?
No, I've not read this.
Read it and find out.
Okay, well, open it up.
But what I was trying to do, which someone should really do, is get the name.
We mention it in other episodes of the very good classical pianist.
Yeah, he's doing a beautiful job.
Bit of jazz.
Jazz-infused classical.
Yeah.
How much do you think he got paid, Joseph?
Because we toy around with this question.
That is a really good question.
Netflix pay well.
Oh, I meant that pianist, but let's do the whole thing.
No, no, no, I think, but they'll have a solid budget for the show.
I know Netflix just give everyone lots of money.
Everyone, even the subscribers.
You get a little A little Christmas bonus
I reckon the pianist got paid
3000 US dollars
Wow
Not worth it
That's south of what I thought
Really?
Yeah I thought between
Sort of 8 to 10
I think you'd get a
Oh yeah maybe a bit more
There's a lot of taxes and stuff as well
I think after tax
After tax.
You reckon here's Utah or tax haven?
I don't think so.
Why did they film in Utah?
Well, you figured it out.
Okay, so Utah is not a very diverse state.
It's 5% Asian and 12% Hispanic was the stats I got.
That's just me remembering.
I could be a bit off there.
If you compare that to California, where Rob lives with his Asian mama and Mexican kids,
that's a place with a really large Asian and Mexican population.
Yeah.
Why didn't he want to do the jokes for those people?
Because he knew they would not like them.
That's the amazing thing, that he seems to have a level of self-awareness
to know that what he's doing is kind of off or wrong,
but he'll find the tiny slither of America where he's like,
nah, I can fucking smash it and use it.
I do not think that that slither of America is specifically tiny.
I think it probably runs quite fat through the middle of America.
Yeah, geographically, but population-wise.
However many people voted...
What?
Republican.
Oh, it's not specifically...
Is the amount of people you can perform those jokes to.
I think he put me in Utah because California had COVID restrictions.
Let me stand up for the GOP, the party of Abraham Lincoln.
Just because you voted Republican doesn't mean that you are as antagonistic as Rob is to all women in your life and to ethnic minorities in the state that you're in.
Not exactly, but you might find it funny.
So interestingly, I've gone on to the political views part of Schneider's wiki.
So he was a lifelong Democrat until 2013 where he switched parties.
Yeah, it's Obama.
Oh no, you're right.
It was a response.
This Obama is too much.
He was like, one, I'll do.
That second term, no, it's too many.
It's too much.
Again, this is what I'm worried about.
This is what we could all turn into, boys.
He said the state of California is a mess
and the super majority of democrats is not working and then uh the wikipedia swiftly goes on to rob schneider's anti-vaccination activism
uh beginning thusly schneider has been an outspoken critic of childhood vaccinations
claiming they cause autism yes yeah i think that's quite enough of time we've made for
rob schneider's political views on the podcast you could well
be right uh and we've probably uh covered covered i mean we're going to be covering this four more
times about two months ago so thank you so much to joseph for rejoining us for this episode it's
been a treat can i i'd like to say something to rob schneider's wife um patricia yeah uh so schneider
says you want to divorce him a divorce But you're too afraid
And to you Patricia
I say
You can do it
Thank you very much Joseph Moore
How can people find you online?
At Joseph Moore 1
On Twitter
I tweet up to twice a week
Great
And you deleted Instagram
Yeah man
I'm free baby
That's so baller
Do you have a website?
No I used to love your Instagram I think I've told you multiple times to Instagram. Yeah, man. I'm free, baby. That's so baller. Do you have a website? No.
I used to love your Instagram.
I think I've told you
multiple times.
One of my faves.
Well, let's say this then.
If you ever get the opportunity
where you are
to see Two Hearts,
which is the musical comedy act
that Joseph comprises half of
with his now fiancee,
Laura Daniel,
you fucking gotta go.
We'd love to have you there.
The productions are so big and beautiful
and they are so funny.
Guy, you want to say anything?
You want to say anything about me?
No. Thank you.